Written By: - Date published: 5:57 pm, September 25th, 2024 - 8 comments
What I’m saying to you is that Chris Luxon has never crashed a country before.
Written By: - Date published: 2:51 pm, September 18th, 2024 - 7 comments
The Civilian, a site that publishes the satire news is back. Hopefully for readers this will last. It only appears to have been running for a few days. Clearly the governments ongoing unemployment program is working well for the art of satire.
Written By: - Date published: 8:58 am, September 3rd, 2024 - 39 comments
The year is 2035 and after the McAnaulty-Sepuloni Government is removed from power new National Prime Minister Simeon Brown makes his first new announcement. Guess what it is?
Written By: - Date published: 8:06 am, November 16th, 2023 - 2 comments
One has to really feel for those trying to write political satire these days. How can a satirist be more ridiculous than many of our political leaders they wish to lampoon? Case in point, yesterday’s “resignation letter” from sacked former UK Home Secretary Suella Braverman.
Written By: - Date published: 10:22 pm, July 6th, 2023 - 12 comments
“It isn’t cricket” supposedly set the ethical standard around the British Empire for over a century. Last week saw Lords, the ‘home of cricket,’ validate a damning report about racism, elitism, classism and sexism in British cricket just days after it was issued.
Written By: - Date published: 2:48 pm, April 18th, 2023 - 33 comments
To err is human and human error is triggerroring, so let’s err on the side of caution and stop erring altogether.
Written By: - Date published: 3:25 pm, April 16th, 2023 - 11 comments
Little Adolf was relentlessly bullied during his ECE through no fault of his own. Later in life, he became a heavy drinker of pale stale ale.
Written By: - Date published: 10:39 am, January 9th, 2023 - 48 comments
I’m back at work at my home office desk today and the weather sucked in Auckland and the north of the North Island over my break. Waiting for Luxon and minons blaming the government for not controlling La Niña – now in the third year of her current reign.It seems like all that National can do these days – blame the government for external events.
Written By: - Date published: 12:34 am, November 22nd, 2022 - 15 comments
The Great Twit at Twitter has been cauterising off staff in excess. I suspect that the platform is going to go down the toilet for that (amongst other reasons). My concern here has been to preserve the embedded tweets in posts and comments on this site if the idiot engineer manages to destroy the platform through simple stupidity.
Written By: - Date published: 8:45 pm, October 25th, 2022 - 109 comments
Leader of the Opposition Christopher Luxon turned up to Parliament today and his media spin doctors will be hoping for some good photo opportunities to lift his popularity. But they will be asking a lot.
Written By: - Date published: 1:31 pm, May 13th, 2022 - 13 comments
JuiceMedia have done their high quality opinionated but fact based satire Honest Government Ad describing the lowlights of the current Aussie shitshow. If you haven’t seen it yet, then be my guest.
Written By: - Date published: 12:22 pm, April 16th, 2022 - 38 comments
Everything has been too serious recently and kind of gross.
Lets keep the gross and but go for the satirical.
Enemas! Pimples!
Written By: - Date published: 7:44 am, April 1st, 2022 - 32 comments
The Standard has learned from a normally reliable source that John Key is considering seeking the National Party nomination for the Tauranga seat.
Written By: - Date published: 8:18 am, March 29th, 2022 - 66 comments
National is opening up nominations for the Tauranga by election today. The Standard reviews some potential candidates for the seat.
Written By: - Date published: 7:12 am, November 30th, 2021 - 70 comments
National needs a new leader of the opposition. The Standard has been leaked a list of the necessary qualifications …
Written By: - Date published: 11:44 am, August 10th, 2021 - 23 comments
There’s so many of them here – Guyon Espiner, Anna Fifield, Lucy Craymer, Sam Sachdeva, Laura Walters, John Daniell, Emile Donovan, Paula Penfold, reef fish with the same few sources. Australian Paul Strutynski provides the textbook in his “Guide for budding foreign policy journalists wanting to work for the Nine Network or Newscorp.”
Written By: - Date published: 9:58 am, May 22nd, 2021 - 31 comments
It is good to see our comrades in the Taxpayers Union celebrate the glorious Socialist revolution that is currently engulfing Aotearoa.
Written By: - Date published: 8:53 am, November 8th, 2020 - 19 comments
It is customary for outgoing Presidents to leave for the incoming President a short letter of introduction. The Standard has managed to obtain a early draft copy of Donald Trump’s letter to Joe Biden drafted while he was playing golf.
Written By: - Date published: 2:17 pm, October 6th, 2020 - 10 comments
Let’s imagine a scenario where you are the President of the United States and it is in the middle of a pandemic. You then contract the virus yourself. How would you rate compared to Donald Trump?
Written By: - Date published: 6:10 am, August 4th, 2020 - 26 comments
Learning to love the tax.
Written By: - Date published: 5:37 pm, August 2nd, 2020 - 5 comments
Trump has announced he will ban Tik-Tok from the United States. It’s Chinese-owned so there. Or maybe he will force it to be sold to Americans.Don’t think security is the issue; kids used it to stuff up his Tulsa rally. And it is good for mockery, as clips about Trump and Pompeo show. Don’t think that will stop if Americans own it.
Written By: - Date published: 7:58 am, July 17th, 2020 - 38 comments
With Nikki Kaye’s shock retirement announcement National urgently needs a new candidate. One name springs to mind.
Written By: - Date published: 6:07 pm, June 28th, 2020 - 27 comments
Nazis Punked; Fucked Off!
Written By: - Date published: 9:09 am, June 9th, 2020 - 100 comments
The toppling of a statute of former slave trader Edward Coulson has led to conjecture that the statute may have tripped and fallen rather than forcibly removed and deposited in Bristol Harbour.
Written By: - Date published: 3:46 pm, June 6th, 2020 - 34 comments
National has embarked on a moral crusade to not lose the Election.
Written By: - Date published: 11:08 am, May 19th, 2020 - 27 comments
Michelle Boag thinks that Mark Richardson should be the next National leader after Simon Bridges. Here at the Standard we wish to endorse this proposal.
Written By: - Date published: 3:05 pm, May 2nd, 2020 - 8 comments
The latest status
Discuss…
It is a bit of a problem when this was often more accurate than the statements from many governments.
Written By: - Date published: 6:30 pm, February 18th, 2020 - 5 comments
BREAKING NEWS: Simon Bridges calls on the leader of the opposition to stand down while the SFO case is before the courts.
Written By: - Date published: 8:16 am, February 14th, 2020 - 80 comments
The rapid demise of the single use plastic bag has just left one hole in my life. I haven’t (so far) been able to replace the one and only second life use that I ever found for them. They were great at keeping the broccoli and carrots from going limp in the fridge.
Written By: - Date published: 8:47 am, January 23rd, 2020 - 16 comments
Sad overnight news with the death of Terry Jones being announced.
Written By: - Date published: 7:01 am, September 28th, 2019 - 13 comments
Gerry Brownlee clarifies.
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