Caption Competition
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11:56 am, April 11th, 2016 - 72 comments
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- Property Rights and the Treaty Principles Bill
Property rights – which enable decisions over tangible and intangible assets – are critical to an economy as Why Nations Fail pointed out. Not just private property rights for, as we shall see, they are more complicated than that. Neoliberals argue that private property rights lead to the maximum economic ...7 hours ago - The Hoon around the week to November 22
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Record Numbers: The Hīkoi mō te Tiriti, which began at the tip of the North, and the tail of the South, on 11 November, culminated outside Parliament on Tuesday, 19 November 2024, in one of the largest demonstrations in New Zealand’s political history.ACCORDING TO TE ARA, the Ministry of Culture ...17 hours ago - The Rush To Blame “The Activists”
Activists are such easy scapegoats. The right and center have been conditioned for decades to roll their eyes at all protests. The left are easily aggravated over students leading movements they see as belonging to grownups, who have more important concerns like the economy and whether the trains come on ...17 hours ago - Cutting Through An Inundation of Dipshit Racists
Hi,Watching New Zealand from afar offers a strange perspective. It can be a good thing — distance from Aotearoa helped keep me sane while I reported on abuse at New Zealand’s biggest megachurch over the course of a year. It helps fuel my silly podcast. But it can also be ...17 hours ago - This is bad news
The speech yesterday by Treasury’s Chief Economic Advisor warning that the books are in worse shape than forecasted looks like it’s part of a softening-up process for either more cuts or a longer wait to get back into surplus. The speech was a highly unusual public preview of Treasury’s Half-Yearly ...19 hours ago - Skeptical Science New Research for Week #47 2024
Open access notables Projected increase in the frequency of extremely active Atlantic hurricane seasons, Lopez et al., Science Advances: Future changes to the year-to-year swings between active and inactive North Atlantic tropical cyclone (TC) seasons have received little attention, yet may have great societal implications in areas prone to hurricane ...1 day ago - Chicken Kiev
Chatting in the supermarket this morning, I found I needed to lunge for the chicken drumsticks.Coping mechanisms: who hasn’t felt a greater need for them lately?When it all gets too much, I turn to demonstrating handy butchery hacks.It wasn’t that she’d said anything wrong, our friend, not at all. We ...1 day ago - The year is 2024 and it’s 1984
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Back in 2022, RNZ took an in-depth look at the "Independent" Police Conduct Authority and its handling of killings by police. These are the most serious test of oversight, and you would expect the police's use of lethal force to receive the most severe scrutiny. But despite the police regularly ...2 days ago
- Thursday 21 November 2024
The Hīkoi mō Te Tiriti arrived at Parliament on Tuesday – the size is being debated but estimates range from 42,000 to 100,000. The Prime Minister is defending not attending due to some of the organisers being affiliated with Te Pāti Māori. The national gang patch ban came into force ...2 days ago - ‘These budget cuts are counter-productive and make no sense’
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- ACT’s Astroturfing & A Co-ordinated Attack on Te Pati Māori
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- I Love My Leather Jacket
I wear my leather jacket like a great big hugRadiating charm - a living cloak of luckIt's the only concrete link with an absent friendIt's a symbol I can wear 'till we meet againOr it's a weight around my neck while the owner's freeBoth protector and reminder of mortalityIt's a ...2 days ago - Throwback Thursday: Will “Auckland Transport” Survive?
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- The end of policing by consent
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I cannot stop grabbing people by the lapels, or shoulders, or similar, and raving at them about the tiny miracles in my ears.I can hear again! There could not be a more satisfied customer in all the world.In a noisy cafe I am even catching words that Karren cannot, she ...6 days ago - Unintended Consequences
Take the baitYou pay the priceIt's much too lateFor good adviceYou know and I know that our good things' throughBecause there's consequences for what we doConsequences for me and youWriters: Kevin Robert Hayes, David Nagier, Bonnie Adele Hayes.Fallout from the first readingOne News began last night by saying that tens ...7 days ago - Thank you, driver!
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1 week ago - More lawlessness from National
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As the weight of the world Hangs on your shoulders The weight of the world Starts to take over again And over again All that you once loved, now you hate So slowly relearn how to meditate To have and to hold And never let go Can you feel it ...1 week ago - Thursday 14 November 2024
The Treaty Principles Bill is set to have its First Reading in the House today, as the Hīkoi mō Te Tiriti continues. More than 40 KCs have written to the Prime Minister and Attorney-General outlining their “grave concerns” about the substance of the Treaty Principles Bill, while an academic and ...1 week ago
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The Government has passed legislation to remove agriculture from the Emissions Trading Scheme (ETS) while Aotearoa’s reputation on climate action plummets. ...1 day ago - Failed boot camp experiment must end
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The National Government is walking away from our manufacturing sector with constant reports of closures and job losses. ...1 day ago
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Louise Upston has revealed her diminished vision for vulnerable youth against a backdrop of snubbed advice, scrapped priorities, shifted goal posts and thousands more children projected to fall into poverty. ...1 day ago
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National Government’s backward-looking climate policy has seen New Zealand fall seven places on the Climate Change Performance Index to 41 out of 63 countries measured. ...1 day ago
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When the Government says it has reduced the number of people in emergency housing, what it means is it is stopping people from accessing it in the first place. ...2 days ago
- Govt’s child wellbeing strategy ‘shallow and shameful’
The Government is turning its back on children by not only weakening child poverty reduction targets, but also removing child mental wellbeing as a priority focus in their Child and Youth Wellbeing Strategy. ...2 days ago
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- Government plan to reinstate live animal exports a “national disgrace”
The Government has taken a giant step backwards by reinstating live animal exports. ...2 days ago
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- Economists sound alarm on Government’s slash-and-burn approach
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- Release: Smoking numbers up under Costello’s watch
National’s repeal of Labour’s smokefree legislation has taken New Zealand further away from achieving a Smokefree 2025 and a smokefree generation. ...2 days ago
- Release: Call for Palestine recognition by NZ, Australian and Canadian MPs
Parliamentarians from Australia, Canada and New Zealand have written an open letter to their respective Prime Ministers calling on them to recognise Palestine. ...3 days ago
- Justice Select Committee opens floor for Treaty Principles submissions
Today, the Justice Select Committee has decided to officially open submissions for the controversial Treaty Principles Bill. ...4 days ago
- Power of the people on full display as hīkoi approaches Parliament
Today, Hīkoi mō te Tiriti arrived in Wellington, with thousands gathering to march in unity against the divisive Treaty Principles Bill. ...4 days ago
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Te Whatu Ora’s bill for contracting and consulting staff has ballooned by nearly 20 percent under the National Government, breaking a promise they made during the election campaign to cut contractors. ...5 days ago
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- Government’s move to monetise access to nature a slippery slope
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- Green Party condemns the passage of Treaty Principles Bill
The Green Party condemns the passing of the Treaty Principles Bill at first reading, and is clear that the fight is not over. ...1 week ago
- Stand Up for Te Tiriti
Te Tiriti o Waitangi is our country’s founding document. It forms the basis of the relationship between Māori and the Crown – and the Aotearoa New Zealand we live in today. ...1 week ago
- Release: Over 15,000 sign Labour’s open letter to Luxon
As the hīkoi to Parliament continues, Labour has sent an open letter to Prime Minister Christopher Luxon in a last-ditch attempt to get him to kill the Treaty Principles Bill. ...1 week ago
- Fast Track Bill threatens environment, climate and reputation
The fast-track legislation passing its second reading in Parliament is another step towards environmental ruin. ...1 week ago
- Greens join King’s Counsel in calling for Treaty Principles Bill to be abandoned
The Prime Minister must answer the call from a group of senior lawyers of the King’s Counsel to abandon the divisive Treaty Principles Bill. ...1 week ago
- Chris Hipkins’ apology statement to state and faith-based care survivors
...1 week ago
- Release: Labour formally apologises to state and faith-based care survivors
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Today, the Green Party stands alongside the survivors of abuse in state care and faith-based care as the Government issues an historic apology. ...2 weeks ago
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The Green Party has written to the Speaker of the House requesting he enable a personal vote on the Treaty Principles Bill. ...2 weeks ago
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The Green Party is alarmed by the Government’s move to exclude a journalist from covering this week’s apology for the survivors of abuse in state and faith-based care. ...2 weeks ago
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For tomorrow’s apology to survivors of abuse in state and faith-based care to hold any water, the Government must not pursue the same policies that drove the abuse in the first place. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Concerns remain over tobacco interference
Concerns about the tobacco industry’s ability to interfere in government policy making remain, despite the inability of the Office of the Auditor-General to investigate the Government’s decision to halve the excise tax on heated tobacco products. ...2 weeks ago
- Urgent wake-up call on climate
The Climate Change Commission’s latest advice indicates Aotearoa needs to be stepping up on climate action. ...2 weeks ago
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Break out the punchlines and dust off your meme folder: Green Party MP Kahurangi Carter’s Copyright (Parody and Satire) Amendment Bill was pulled from the Ballot yesterday. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Poroporoaki: Ta Robert (Bom) Gillies
Kua hinga te manawa kairākau o Te Rua Tekau Ma Waru Tiwhatiwha te po! Kakarauru i te po! Ka rapuhia kei hea koe kua riro! Haere e te Ika a Whiro ki o tini hoa kua ngaro atu ki te Pō ...2 weeks ago
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The opposition parties stand united for an Aotearoa that honours Te Tiriti, rather than seeking to rewrite it. Labour, the Greens and Te Pāti Māori are working together against the Government’s divisive Treaty Principles Bill. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Labour, Greens and Te Pāti Māori call on the Prime Minister to block the Treaty Principle...
The opposition parties stand united for an Aotearoa that honours Te Tiriti, rather than seeking to rewrite it. Labour, the Greens and Te Pāti Māori are working together against the Government’s divisive Treaty Principles Bill. ...2 weeks ago
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Ka nui te mihi kia koutou. Ka mihi ki te mana whenua ko Ngāti Whātua Ōrākei. Kia ora and good morning everyone. Thank you Fran and Simon for inviting me here today, and importantly your leadership of this forum over several years now. I want to acknowledge David Gehrenbeck, Deputy ...10 hours ago
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“My Public believe me.”
“My Public me whatever I do.”
“Well Lynton said I can do anything and say anything and they still believe me, even when I outright lie”
“Me too.”
Do you smell pork?
And then I told them we would have a “fool” make an “independent” Inquiry ! snigger snigger.
Who cares what two white Tory scum are doing,
really, who cares?
‘
Well, they are the leaders of their respective nations both exposed as participants in massive international tax avoidance. But, really, with this particular little exercise, turning them into objects of mockery is the main interest.
Interesting!
So much anger, adam. You should address that or it will eat you.
hahahahahahahahhahahah. Did you read the header The Gormless Fool formerly known as Oleolebiscuitbarrell, have you not seen these before?
Seriously serious much.
Just out of interest if it where a photo of Mugabe and Zuma would you call them black scum?
Political Correctness gone mad b waghorn? Or just feeling sensitive today?
You didnt offend me i assure you ,it just amuses me how further lefties in nz have this white man hate, when there is plenty of proof that the colour of skin isn’t linked to ones scum level.
No, but Tory scum generally are white though.
My trust is bigger than your trust and more well hidden.
It’s your turn so you eat the soggy biscuit.
Oh no you don’t, you were the last to release your tax returns so you eat it!.
JK – I’ve always looked up to you Dave
Pigs head you say, I can only a kiwi. Oh an Maltese
edit: you know, those cute little…..those cameras are ackshelly werking,,, chocolate balls lovely.
JK to DC
Hahaha you got caught Im still in the clear. Better start moving out Dave ,I could take your place for a while .Ive already run a small country to the ground a big ones more of a challenge
Looks like tax dodging trust fund trouble is about to come knocking
“…and then you say ‘Open Sesame’ and you get to share out the loot with your Forty Thieves…”
$17,000, what a paltry amount. Lucky I own a small country and the SIS and have so many friends in the US intelligence to make sure my money is safely hidden.
I hid my money in Panama, John. Where did you hide yours?
“I couldn’t believe my luck when Corbyn was elected leader”
“Really, you should try going up against this Little bloke. I can’t lose!”
“The funny thing is Dave, that while your defence is that you cannot be blamed for the sins of your father and your supporters are shouting it, back home the Socialists are having such a problem with the Lange period. You see we can sheet almost everything back to them as it is all their fault. And the public are swallowing it…”
I see a black door and I want to paint it red,
No colors anymore, I want them to turn red.
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes.
You’ve got a trust fund well we’ve all got one of those.
Haven’t we John.
From the people who bought you “Pony Tail Summer Camp” & “The boys from Bullingdon ”
Starring “Call me Dave” Cameron and Big John ” Shon” Key in this summers financial scandal/nothing to see here hit ….
” Makin Bacon”
This is good. Makes me miss the Neetflux posters.
Tweedledum and Tweedledee.
No,no Dave, it wasn’t me trying to remove the Union Jack, it was LLaybar akshuly..,(he then makes that sucking in air sound like he’s toking on a joint)
The door knocking scene from Labyrinth now has new meaning.
“What do you think Ludo, which do we choose out of these two ugly characters?”
J: Trust? Moi? Never…. at least not that I can remember. Anyway if the crap hits the fan I always scuttle off to Planet Key and leave my cronies to mop up my messes.
D: I tried that and the peasants got up a petition to ban my return… revolting oiks.
3 knocks and you are in, no strings and tax. You want to go first John?
Left Door Knocker: It’s very rude to stare!
Sarah: Oh! I’m sorry, I was just wondering which door to choose.
Left Door Knocker: HUH?
Right Door Knocker: [muffled] It’s no good asking him, he’s deaf as a post!
Left Door Knocker: Don’t talk with your mouth full!
Right Door Knocker: [muffled] I’m not talking with my mouth full, I…
Sarah: Wait, wait, I can’t understand you.
[she takes the ring out of his mouth]
Right Door Knocker: Ah! Mm. Oh, oh, it is so good to get that thing out.
Sarah: What were you saying?
Right Door Knocker: I said, it’s no good talking to him, he’s deaf as a post.
Left Door Knocker: Mumble mumble mumble! You’re a wonderful conversational companion!
Right Door Knocker: You can talk, all you do is moan!
Left Door Knocker: No good! Can’t hear you!
Sarah: What’s behind these doors?
Left Door Knocker: WHAT?
Right Door Knocker: Search me. We’re just the knockers!
[laughs]
Sarah: Oh.
[she goes to the left door, pushes on it]
Sarah: How do I get through?
Left Door Knocker: HUH?
Right Door Knocker: Knock, and the door will open!
Sarah: Oh.
Ludo: [with the ring in his mouth] Hmmph?
Sarah: [amused] Ludo!
[she takes the ring from Ludo, holds it out to the Right Door Knocker]
Right Door Knocker: Hey! I don’t want that thing back in my mouth!
Sarah: C’mon, I want to knock!
Right Door Knocker: MM-MM!
“The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”
Final words of Animal Farm – George Orwell.
“Panamanian fun seekers, John? Don’t know what you mean.”
Two Heads of State and one brain scan revealing a huge moral cavity.
Still crushing the opposition in the polls? You bet Dave.
We even look alike, I can’t believe how clever Crosby Textor are!
Is that a piggy in the middle?
JK: “Haha I just sold off NZ’s power companies & state housing, raised GST, signed the TPPA, and turned NZ into a tax haven for international tax crime!”
DC: “Thanks for that, Daddy has already set me up with a nice tax free trust. And I’m selling the NHS, cutting disability benefits, and buying lovely Trident missiles with the proceeds!”
JK: “OK you win this round, but I will be back!”
Cameron to Key:
No, no, you won’t be coming in to my Exclusive Club, you wait out here you oily little tick ! When I was at Eton we used to line up four or five of your sort, make em bend over and use em as a rack for toasting crumpets, you Grotty little working class man !!!
“You’re right it’s just fantastic, there’s no need to hide our money anymore; we can really show it.”
JK: “Dave, I read that someone called you and I slim eballs – what’s a slim eball?
DC: “Is that so Mr ‘Soap-on-the-shower-floor-Key? Well close the gap and you’ll find out”
JK: “aye? Ha, ha, I don’t think so Dave, I’m a soap-on-a-rope kinda guy, sorry.”
DC: “I didn’t think you’d get it”
“Actually, John, this photo will express to voters my understanding of Jean-Paul Sartre’s 1944 play “Huis Clos” and how I will apply it into any future investigations into tax evasion.”
“Was he the bloke who said “Seek and you find? Knock and the door shall be opened to you?” That didn’t apply to tax collectors, did it?”
OK John, I will Knock 3 times and then we run ok? and try to keep up this time!
DC to JK “Who the **** are you?”
The Lion, The Two Witches, No wardrobe
DC: Man i am in deep got caught out on tax havens
JK: Don’t fret I get away with it all the time, just set up a flag referendum, they will never know
Two New Inexperienced Bouncers, employed at The Lynton Crosby Ball
Oh I see you use the same tailor as I do John,
Yes David,,I always get the deep pockets added to my suits.
Really….why is that John?
Well it comes in handy when there’s a pissing competition…
I fecking tried open sesame,,,now wheres the fecking key…u what? u lost it?
DC: I see your still persisting withe comb over….by the way, i think u may need some head and shoulders.
Profile shots of the beloved leaders taken for the new mint of one pound coins….selling for tuppence
DC: Sorry JK, you cant buy it, i just sold this door offshore for a handsome non taxable profit,,,,yet mums the world ok?
JK: Bloody Hell, you actually provide free food banks in your country?
….Isnt that a tad generous?
DC: I have had to invite you outside to demand satisfaction……..
That’s was my wife, how dare you pull her ponytail!
Their eyes meet across the front door step………………………………..it was instantaneous.
Of all the front door steps…… in all the world you found mine.
.
DC: Right when you go inside, don’t mention anything about President Trumps lovely hair…
JK: No Probs
DC: I have no idea, usually one of my servants do it….
JK: I haven’t a clue either, one of my bodyguards opens the doors for me
And its good night from him and its good night from him.
dc and jk arrive at Hells gate…Perfect timing!!!
Two for the price of one.
knock knock knocking on uber tax havens door.
DC: If you rub this Caymen island snake oil into your scalp you will have a full head of hair by the morning!…..that will be 1000 $ Us please, paid into my not very secret account….
JK: Done!
JK: Last time i visited you had two knockers, i am sure of it..
DC: Austerity cuts into everything, so we out sourced the other knocker
JK: You should see the knockers i have back home in Wellington!
DC & JK both wait to enter room 101, to face their greatest fear……their tax returns
It’s the room where Winston was interrogated………………..mind the rats!
JK: Well I dint invite him!
DC: I dint invite him either!:
JK: Well we will just have to stay here till he stops talking cak and leaves
DC: That could be a while, its freezing out here:
JK: I wonder how the hell that right wing apologist Pete George got his hands on an invite?
Rentokill’s, New Lion Rat deterrence, didn’t seem to be working….
In fact it seem to attract them!
No 10 Fancy Dress Party…..Oh you came as a swine too!
lol…you wanna hear a good piggy joke?…it is about the piggy and his goods and services taxes
we really must get tougher on tax evasion
my left hand does not know what my right hand is doing…compartmentalization is the way to go
….and one rule for the rich and another for the poor
…i see we have an understanding
It’s so damn hard to pick a winner from the wit displayed here. Give me a minute…. OKAY I choooooose Colonial Viper again!
Short, sharp and succinct yet not giving away the fact he would be happy to be piggy in the middle of a Key / Cameron sandwich.
The rest of you need to up your game. You only evinced moderate chuckles, not great gasping belly laughs. Toodles 🙂