Caption contest
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11:59 am, July 29th, 2018 - 76 comments
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- Treasury warns deeper recession worsening Budget deficit
The gift that keeps giving: David Seymour has now opened a split in the coalition over the future of National’s promise to build a new medical school. Photo: Lynn Grieveson / TheKakaKia ora. Long stories short, here’s my top things to note in Aotearoa’s political economy around housing, climate and ...2 hours ago - Weekly Roundup 22-November-2024
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Activists are such easy scapegoats. The right and center have been conditioned for decades to roll their eyes at all protests. The left are easily aggravated over students leading movements they see as belonging to grownups, who have more important concerns like the economy and whether the trains come on ...3 hours ago - Cutting Through An Inundation of Dipshit Racists
Hi,Watching New Zealand from afar offers a strange perspective. It can be a good thing — distance from Aotearoa helped keep me sane while I reported on abuse at New Zealand’s biggest megachurch over the course of a year. It helps fuel my silly podcast. But it can also be ...4 hours ago - This is bad news
The speech yesterday by Treasury’s Chief Economic Advisor warning that the books are in worse shape than forecasted looks like it’s part of a softening-up process for either more cuts or a longer wait to get back into surplus. The speech was a highly unusual public preview of Treasury’s Half-Yearly ...6 hours ago - Skeptical Science New Research for Week #47 2024
Open access notables Projected increase in the frequency of extremely active Atlantic hurricane seasons, Lopez et al., Science Advances: Future changes to the year-to-year swings between active and inactive North Atlantic tropical cyclone (TC) seasons have received little attention, yet may have great societal implications in areas prone to hurricane ...14 hours ago - Chicken Kiev
Chatting in the supermarket this morning, I found I needed to lunge for the chicken drumsticks.Coping mechanisms: who hasn’t felt a greater need for them lately?When it all gets too much, I turn to demonstrating handy butchery hacks.It wasn’t that she’d said anything wrong, our friend, not at all. We ...18 hours ago - The year is 2024 and it’s 1984
This is written in response to the highly significant open letter from a group of economists that was today addressed to Christopher Luxon. The year is 2024, and it’s 1984. The country is reeling from a record Olympic medal gold haul, while the globe grapples with the choice of the ...19 hours ago - The IPCA has failed
Back in 2022, RNZ took an in-depth look at the "Independent" Police Conduct Authority and its handling of killings by police. These are the most serious test of oversight, and you would expect the police's use of lethal force to receive the most severe scrutiny. But despite the police regularly ...23 hours ago - Thursday 21 November 2024
The Hīkoi mō Te Tiriti arrived at Parliament on Tuesday – the size is being debated but estimates range from 42,000 to 100,000. The Prime Minister is defending not attending due to some of the organisers being affiliated with Te Pāti Māori. The national gang patch ban came into force ...23 hours ago - ‘These budget cuts are counter-productive and make no sense’
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Unity on the Streets / Unity at the TableAfter the Hīkoi, all three right wing Coalition leaders came together to push the idea that the 42,000 - 50,000 + strong Hikoi was somehow less potent and brave, and more illegitimate than the energy and crowd displayed.Prime Minister Christopher Luxon 20-November: ...1 day ago - Durability of carbon dioxide removal is critical for stabilizing temperatures
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- The end of policing by consent
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This guest post by Tim Adriaansen, an advocate for accessibility and sustainable transport, originally published on LinkedIn and cross posted here with permission. People prefer cars, right? Probably not. Here’s why. Granted, most people in English-speaking countries use a car to get around. This simple reality underpins our transport ...2 days ago
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Neither Wellington nor Parliament has ever seen anything like it before. The Police said there were more than 40,000 but however many there were, yesterday’s Hikoi to Parliament was a monumental event. It was almost three times the Foreshore and Seabed martch of 2004 and many,many times bigger than ...2 days ago
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Like everyone else (everyone who wasn't there, anyway), I've spent the morning watching the hikoi march on Parliament. The pictures are astounding: parliament grounds and the surrounding streets are full, and there are still people backed up along Lambton Quay. The police are estimating 35,000 people, and that's a floor ...3 days ago
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The government's Treaty Principles Bill is up for its first reading today - bought forward in a rush in a desperate effort to avoid the hikoi which is currently marching on Wellington. But the Prime Minister won’t be there for it – he’s literally running away to Peru! But he ...1 week ago
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As the weight of the world Hangs on your shoulders The weight of the world Starts to take over again And over again All that you once loved, now you hate So slowly relearn how to meditate To have and to hold And never let go Can you feel it ...1 week ago - Thursday 14 November 2024
The Treaty Principles Bill is set to have its First Reading in the House today, as the Hīkoi mō Te Tiriti continues. More than 40 KCs have written to the Prime Minister and Attorney-General outlining their “grave concerns” about the substance of the Treaty Principles Bill, while an academic and ...1 week ago
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National Government’s backward-looking climate policy has seen New Zealand fall seven places on the Climate Change Performance Index to 41 out of 63 countries measured. ...21 hours ago
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When the Government says it has reduced the number of people in emergency housing, what it means is it is stopping people from accessing it in the first place. ...1 day ago
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The Government is turning its back on children by not only weakening child poverty reduction targets, but also removing child mental wellbeing as a priority focus in their Child and Youth Wellbeing Strategy. ...1 day ago
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Labour warmly welcomes the Restoring Samoan Citizenship Bill as it passes its third reading, before becoming law. ...1 day ago
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The Government has taken a giant step backwards by reinstating live animal exports. ...2 days ago
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National’s repeal of Labour’s smokefree legislation has taken New Zealand further away from achieving a Smokefree 2025 and a smokefree generation. ...2 days ago
- Release: Call for Palestine recognition by NZ, Australian and Canadian MPs
Parliamentarians from Australia, Canada and New Zealand have written an open letter to their respective Prime Ministers calling on them to recognise Palestine. ...2 days ago
- Justice Select Committee opens floor for Treaty Principles submissions
Today, the Justice Select Committee has decided to officially open submissions for the controversial Treaty Principles Bill. ...3 days ago
- Power of the people on full display as hīkoi approaches Parliament
Today, Hīkoi mō te Tiriti arrived in Wellington, with thousands gathering to march in unity against the divisive Treaty Principles Bill. ...3 days ago
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- Green Party condemns the passage of Treaty Principles Bill
The Green Party condemns the passing of the Treaty Principles Bill at first reading, and is clear that the fight is not over. ...1 week ago
- Stand Up for Te Tiriti
Te Tiriti o Waitangi is our country’s founding document. It forms the basis of the relationship between Māori and the Crown – and the Aotearoa New Zealand we live in today. ...1 week ago
- Release: Over 15,000 sign Labour’s open letter to Luxon
As the hīkoi to Parliament continues, Labour has sent an open letter to Prime Minister Christopher Luxon in a last-ditch attempt to get him to kill the Treaty Principles Bill. ...1 week ago
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The fast-track legislation passing its second reading in Parliament is another step towards environmental ruin. ...1 week ago
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The Prime Minister must answer the call from a group of senior lawyers of the King’s Counsel to abandon the divisive Treaty Principles Bill. ...1 week ago
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...1 week ago
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Labour joins with the Government in unreservedly apologising for the abuse, neglect and trauma including torture in state and faith-based care and for ignoring the voices of survivors for too long. ...1 week ago
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Today, the Green Party stands alongside the survivors of abuse in state care and faith-based care as the Government issues an historic apology. ...1 week ago
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The Green Party is alarmed by the Government’s move to exclude a journalist from covering this week’s apology for the survivors of abuse in state and faith-based care. ...2 weeks ago
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Kua hinga te manawa kairākau o Te Rua Tekau Ma Waru Tiwhatiwha te po! Kakarauru i te po! Ka rapuhia kei hea koe kua riro! Haere e te Ika a Whiro ki o tini hoa kua ngaro atu ki te Pō ...2 weeks ago
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The opposition parties stand united for an Aotearoa that honours Te Tiriti, rather than seeking to rewrite it. Labour, the Greens and Te Pāti Māori are working together against the Government’s divisive Treaty Principles Bill. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Labour, Greens and Te Pāti Māori call on the Prime Minister to block the Treaty Principle...
The opposition parties stand united for an Aotearoa that honours Te Tiriti, rather than seeking to rewrite it. Labour, the Greens and Te Pāti Māori are working together against the Government’s divisive Treaty Principles Bill. ...2 weeks ago
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The Green Party says the need is greater than ever for Aotearoa New Zealand to pursue an independent foreign policy. ...2 weeks ago
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Tēnā koutou katoa – it is a pleasure to be here today. I would like to begin by acknowledging the important leadership role you all play in ensuring a quality health system New Zealanders can trust. There is enormous clinical expertise in this room covering a wide range of disciplines. ...2 days ago
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Tēnā koutou katoa. Mr President, Excellencies, Delegates. New Zealand, and all nations represented here today, are already dealing with the impacts of climate change. Our households, businesses, and economies are bearing the costs of its effects. The choices we make now will shape the severity of these impacts for generations ...2 days ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Stephanie Gomes-Ng, Senior Lecturer of Psychology, Auckland University of Technology Getty Images Former New Zealand prime minister John Key has three white rabbits painted on his helicopter, a nod to his “massively superstitious” habit of repeating “white rabbits” three times at ...4 hours ago
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Labour claims Government is ‘cherry-picking’ smoking trends data to hide decade-first increase in daily smokers The post Smoke and mirrors in tobacco debate appeared first on Newsroom. ...5 hours ago
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A man abused by a former political figure is "immensely relieved" at a government proposal to end secrecy around sex offenders' identities. ...5 hours ago
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Loading…(function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){var ql=document.querySelectorAll('A[data-quiz],DIV[data-quiz]'); if(ql){if(ql.length){for(var k=0;k<ql.length;k++){ql[k].id='quiz-embed-'+k;ql[k].href="javascript:var i=document.getElementById('quiz-embed-"+k+"');try{qz.startQuiz(i)}catch(e){i.start=1;i.style.cursor='wait';i.style.opacity='0.5'};void(0);"}}};i['QP']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){(i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o),m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m)})(window,document,'script','https://take.quiz-maker.com/3012/CDN/quiz-embed-v1.js','qp');Got a good quiz question? Send Newsroom your questions.The post Newsroom daily quiz, Friday 22 November appeared first on Newsroom. ...6 hours ago
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Say cheese. Then the meltdown and you are all toast.
You can see the petroleum on their breath.
The Gree Dees – greatest hits – how deep is your depravity, tragedy part 43, staying a slime, im really a joke, and of course the big favorite – lonely dazed, lonely tight when am I gonna get my money…
The Elders having a good laugh at Simon.
“The Protocols of the Elders of Simon”? Think I saw that in a conspiracy nutter’s bookcase once.
Of Zion, rather. No, no link to that whatsoever.
When you don’t get the joke, you are the joke.
Simon photobombs selfie.
The Goof, the Bad, and the Ugly.
You b….
I was going to do that one:
The Goon, the Bad and the Ugly.
I take no credit and make no apologies except to say that it was too obviously easy 😉
It was rather….
I donate to you The Goon Show Australasia.
A sneak of weasels
(What is the collective noun for weasels)
The Rat Pack.
Slytherin House prefects.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rat_Pack
Thank you Robert. Good to learn something so appropriate.
A boogle, gang, confusion or pack of weasels.
Thank you David Mac for that contortion of lovely adjectives.
“Thanks to the vile necromantic arts of John Key and his young apprentice Simon Bridges, the National Party Conference was graced by the reanimated corpse of John Howard.”
The moment Simon realises he’s taken far too much acid…
So, Simon’s sugar rushing.
https://static.petersofkensington.com.au/images/ProductImages/636617-Zoom.jpg
Don’t you mean not enough acid? That’s his bloody problem.
Blue-green anyone?
Send in the clowns
Green as in snakeskin
Fuck your flag Winston
We want New Zealanders living in cars and under bridges.
Under Bridges – that sounds sleazy.
Hair today, gone tomorrow.
Simon and da Finkels
sack, back and crack
🤣🤣
Sag, bag, and crap. [all verbs]
The goon, the gone and the going aka the hirsute, the bald and the pony tail.
Nice one!
The Goof, the Bald, and the Smugly.
Simon, Deagol and Smeagol.
The top cast for Sir Peter’s next movie has been decided with the approval of the Actors Guild? Not so much need for Weta Studios this time 😉
I will probably get condemned here – and there – but this poster on Your NZ (or rather someone in their house) nailed it in one with this (slightly abbreviated) playing on Bridges’ tweet of this photo plus “Me and two Johns”:
Simon and two Johns = three Dicks
h/t Duperez – https://yournz.org/2018/07/29/at-least-bridges-is-getting-some-publicity/#comment-294598
OMG, the resurrection of Larry, Moe and Curly. Sad the lengths Natz will go to make itself seem a viable alternative to government!
The long term beneficiary, the war criminal and the White collar fraudster.
The exclusive brethren
That’s really funny, Tricledown!
What!? Just noticed it’s “drown”, not “down”.
Apologies.
Going, Gone, and Gone.
Or – Going, Gone and Gonzo!
The Three Stooges reboot has finally beencast.
Blood Sucking Zombies from Hell….Now playing in a country near you…even one little taste of the housing market will turn into one of their mindless minions!
The Prosecutor, the Solicitor, the Banker.
walked into a bar…
… the Banker
horses aroundgets the attention of the barmaid ……she tucks her pony-tail into her collar as the 2 Johns slide their bottoms across the soft leather of a booth. Simon shakes hands with a ‘Say Cheese’ smile, orders a Shandy for himself and cocktails for the right pair of Johns. Mr Howard ordered a ‘Snowball in Hell’ and Key asked Simon to get him an Inspiration Wasteland on the rocks.’
A gallon of eau de vie, three straws and quick now we have finished the speeches schmoozing the punters.
The barmaid thanked Simon for his tip and slid the coin into the video jukebox. A fan of early Clint Eastwood movies and choral music she selected the theme/trailer of an old movie called Kelly’s Heroes.
Key casts a dark glance at his conspiracy fellows, checks for hidden mikes in the pepper & salt shakers, and opens the conversation: “I’ve got some dirt in my top drawer that will change our fortunes. What I’m saying is that with a bit of help from our friends in the MSM we’re on the brink of something exceptional”. Simon lets escape a deep sigh of relief that sounds more like rumbling flatulence, which attracts the attention of some other dodgy characters hidden in the dark shadows of the bar: “Thank you Sir John, I was getting a little concerned about my lack of popularity”. Key, making a throat slitting gesture, hushes Simon “Zip it sweetie, John and I are having a conversation. You need to learn to respect your elders”.
Simon leaned in and said “I think Grant Robertson fiddles with another man’s thing.”
It says “[k]eep it seemly …” at the top of the post so here goes:
Key, after a long gulp from his Inspiration Wasteland and lowering his voice with a slight slurring of his words: “I have it on good authority that all Ministers of Finance fiddle while Rome burns. Tell me, have you fed your chickens lately? It is a question that every PM and aspiring PM gets asked. You’ll need to be prepared with a wise-cracking answer or you’re gone by lunch time. Don will see to it.” Simon lets rip an even louder sigh of relief that unsettles other punters in the shadows and some rustling noises can be heard. John and John smile at each other, knowingly, and nod; the GCSB is in the bar doing important reconnaissance work on unsuspecting innocent law-abiding citizens minding their own business and trying to have a quiet beer in the bar.
What an “ashpirational” group.
The Three Little Pigs
Howard’s End remake flounders.
The reverse works better….
Howard’s End remake secures funding.
Cheesy grins and hidden hands….. things that make you go hmmmmmmmm…
Rough as guts, blood and guts, get some guts
No such thing as poverty! SMILE!!
The Three Muppeteers: one for us, all for us!
Rough as guts, blood and guts, get some guts
Introducing “National” the stage show. Bringing to life past elections wins that never existed – 1817, 1917 and 2017.
What the critics say,
“Jesus Christ Superstar meets dead Cats”
Yeah, nah, yeah…
Spot the idiot.
“No. Simon, that’s not what ‘a meeting in camera’ means!”
So a seat warmer, a racist and, a has been walk into a bar.
They all hit their heads on it and fall over as that bar was their moral bar and it was extremely low.
Gog, Magog and the Progeny
Well two people thought it was a good idea to bring him over
Jail bait
meat and two vege
Drongo, Dingo. and Dorkey.
First I’ll build 10 bridges, then I’ll lower class size then I’ll …