ImperatorFish: Won’t Someone Think Of The Lamingtons?

Written By: - Date published: 3:37 pm, March 12th, 2012 - 6 comments
Categories: humour, len brown - Tags: ,

Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.

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A guest post from the CEO of For the Sake of Our Cakes Trust

I picked up the newspaper today, only to immediately regret my decision.

The latest heartbreaking case of abuse now playing out all over the media has left me sick to the stomach.

Sick when I think how much more settled my stomach would have been had that lovely lamington been sitting in it.

What does this sort of violence against helpless cakes and sweet treats tell us about the society we live in? What has the world come to when someone’s political cause requires the senseless murder of young, innocent lamingtons?

There is a terrible moral sickness in our society, a sickness that leads ordinary people to watch passively as defenceless cakes are assaulted and abused in full public view. For shame!

Every cake and sweet treat deserves a chance to reach its full potential, to flourish and to be loved. The greatest gift we can give our custard squares, donuts and slices is our love.

But for many of our cakes that love is absent. Some are neglected, left forgotten in someone’s pantry or fridge, until the most merciful thing to do is throw them in the bin or down the waste disposal unit.

Every cupcake is precious

But others, like the lamington so publicly and savagely murdered, are victims of a violent and cruel society, where cakes are mere pawns in a greater political game.

It doesn’t have to be like this. The man who threw that lamington at the Auckland mayor won’t have won any followers with his brutal and callous actions. It would be a surprise if he hasn’t alienated cake lovers across the nation. How can taking the life of a cake in this fashion ever be justified?

Had that protester just handed the lamington to the mayor in a tidy paper bag he may have opened the man’s heart. Perhaps then a little aroha would have been spread, rather than the mashed remains of a cake.

When we sit down to enjoy a cream puff or an apple slice we do honour to our cakes, and we allow them to fulfil their true potential.

But when we let them be senselessly murdered, like that poor young lamington, we send a message to our cakes that we don’t value them.

With so much negativity and ill-will being displayed towards our cakes, is it any wonder that so many of them turn bad? Whether it’s overcooking, poor ingredients, or excessive dryness, entire batches of cakes are being spoiled. It’s a criminal waste, when there are so many lonely old widows out there desperate for a nice bit of cake to enjoy with their cuppas.

We need to send a clear message to our politicians and civic leaders that we won’t tolerate the ongoing abuse against cakes. Join with us in making a stand.

Please tell your MP that this violence against lamingtons must be stopped!

Neemish von Tartt
CEO, For the Sake of Our Cakes Trust

6 comments on “ImperatorFish: Won’t Someone Think Of The Lamingtons? ”

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  1. shreddakj 1
    12 March 2012 at 3:49 pm

    Sorry to break it to you, but Len Brown was hit by 4+ lamingtons, some from close range.

  2. Kevin Welsh 2
    12 March 2012 at 4:09 pm

    Personally, I would like to see the humble lamington as the weapon-of-choice when showing displeasure to our elected betters.

    Much in the same way the poor old Jesus Creeper is used in Middle Eastern countries.

    The only decision would be raspberry or plain. I think plain to start with and raspberry as a last resort (for the obvious association).

  3. Curwen Rolinson 3
    12 March 2012 at 4:25 pm

    if Socialist Aotearoa wants to bring refreshments to AUSA meetings … it should bring enough for all, not just the 1%!

  4. Vicky32 4
    12 March 2012 at 5:59 pm

    I am a lonely old widow (:D) and I want my cake!