Open mike 31/03/2011

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1. Jenny 1

   31 March 2011 at 6:15 am

   .
   A dirty deal requires dirty lies

   You know your opponent’s stand is dishonourable when they resort to spreading lies and promoting falsehoods about your position.

   The government’s Acting Energy and Resources Minister in attacks of opponents to deep sea oil drilling has been caught out lying and spreading slurs that misrepresented their position.

   Gisborne District councillor Manu Caddie accused (Hekia Parata) of lying, or “deliberately misleading the public”, in an article in The Gisborne Herald on Saturday in which she said the exploration permit would involve only 2D and 3D data gathering, not drilling.

   The company would decide whether to start drilling once they had all the information and, if they did decide to drill, they would have to apply for a mining permit, she said.

   But Manu Caddie says this was a blatant lie.

   The permit signed last year by her predecessor allowed the company to drill one exploratory well within 60 months of the commencement of the permit, he said in a written statement.

   “There is no need for Petrobras to come back and ask the Government for another permit before they start drilling . . . the permit expressly gives permission to drill a well.”

   Ms Parata also said there had been “scaremongering” going on that seismic monitoring could cause earthquakes.

   That claim has been made numerous times by anti-drilling group Te Ahi Kaa in various media.

   But Mr Caddie said this morning that the group had been misquoted.

   First they ignore you.

   Then they mock you.

   Then they attack you.

   And then you win.

   Ghandi
2. Dilbert 2

   31 March 2011 at 6:20 am

   Can anybody answer why it is going to take over a week for Darren Hughes to officially resign?

   From the outside it looks as if the system is either being played in some way to either benefit Hughes financially (presumably he still gets paid until he quits) or by the party while they try to influence Tizard from returning.
   • The Voice of Reason 2.1

     31 March 2011 at 7:52 am

     Or maybe that’s how long it takes Parliamentary Services to do the paperwork. Why don’t you give Pansy Wong or Richard Worth a call and see how long it took them to scuttle back under the rocks they came from?
     • Peter Rabbit 2.1.1

       31 March 2011 at 8:11 am

       No it appears despite saying he had resigned Hughes simply hasn’t done so: “Darren Hughes has told his party he will formally resign before Tuesday, when Labour Party MPs will meet for their first full caucus since news broke about a police complaint against him by an 18-year-old student.”
       http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10716101
     • vto 2.1.2

       31 March 2011 at 8:57 am

       “Or maybe that’s how long it takes Parliamentary Services to do the paperwork.”

       I wouldn’t go admitting stuff like that. One letter offering to resign and one letter in acceptance, max. Each one sentence long and hand-written would suffice. Sheesh, is the public service really like that tvor? The tales all true?
       • The Voice of Reason 2.1.2.1

         31 March 2011 at 1:54 pm

         I think you’ll find that resigning from any job requires a bit of time. In the case of an MP, access cards have to be returned, cars garaged, pension plans advised, final pays organised etc. etc. Dilbert was just being a wanker and I’m not personally convinced that Hughes should have resigned his seat in these circ’s anyway. His portfolios yes, but his seat, no.
         • joe bloggs 2.1.2.1.1

           31 March 2011 at 2:35 pm

           Resigning from any job requires only enough time to sign, date and timestamp a letter of resignation – let’s be generous and say 30 seconds.

           Settlement is a different matter entirely. It’s quite plausible that Hughes’ settlement takes a week to negotiate and work through.
           • The Voice of Reason 2.1.2.1.1.1

             31 March 2011 at 3:10 pm

             Yeah, get what you’re saying, JB and you’ve expressed it far better than I did earlier. However, the question remains; so effing what if he waits till Tuesday next week to resign? In the end, he is gone. And without the desperation to stay that we saw from Worth and Wong even after there was actual, proven wrongdoing in their cases.

             Dilberts original comment was just a pathetic attempt to put the slipper into a man already down. Whatever the outcome of the police investigation, Hughes has already shown himself to possess enough integrity to put his party ahead of his personal situation. A few days wait to get the matter resolved is small beer in the circumstances.
           • Colonial Viper 2.1.2.1.1.2

             31 March 2011 at 6:21 pm

             Meh you could just say it and walk out the door bb, no one would bat an eyelid after you
3. Bored 3

   31 March 2011 at 6:44 am

   Saw yesterdays column Heroic Cynicism so thought I would ask readers if this is what they see in their work place?

   The symptoms:
   * constant restructuring resulting in less people to do the same work.
   * salaried people working longer hours.
   * fear of redundancies.
   * key operational areas run by less people in a more risky way.
   * contracting out of key functions (IT etc) often to offshore.
   * demands to cut costs so as to meet profit targets.
   * fewer middle managers and bosses who no longer know how the lower levels work.
   * constant pressure on suppliers to supply for less.
   * hiring lesser skilled people at lower rates to do higher skilled work.

   If you are seeing the above I suspect you are working in the private sector and that this has been the norm for at least 2 years. If you are seeing it in the public sector you have my sympathy. Are these things happening at your workplace?
   • Akldnut 3.1

     31 March 2011 at 8:52 am

     Is this an operation guidline for business – cause this the last co. I worked for subtly implemented all of the above over a 1.5 – 2 year period.
     • Bored 3.1.1

       31 March 2011 at 9:31 am

       Can I ask the general line of business for your last company? I have seen the symptoms in telcos and in IT corporates around Wellington..
   • joe90 3.2

     31 March 2011 at 11:42 am

     Several years ago my last full time employer, a multi-national lines maintenance company, used something like the technique above from the how to keep someone with you forever play book.

     So you want to keep your lover or your employee close. Bound to you, even. You have a few options. You could be the best lover they’ve ever had, kind, charming, thoughtful, competent, witty, and a tiger in bed. You could be the best workplace they’ve ever had, with challenging work, rewards for talent, initiative, and professional development, an excellent work/life balance, and good pay. But both of those options demand a lot from you. Besides, your lover (or employee) will stay only as long as she wants to under those systems, and you want to keep her even when she doesn’t want to stay. How do you pin her to your side, irrevocably, permanently, and perfectly legally?

     You create a sick system.
   • grumpy 3.3

     31 March 2011 at 12:59 pm

     Man, the last company I worked for – almost 20 years ago ran exactly like that. Some household names involved too.

     Helps if seniour management are all sociopaths too, we had a HR GM who referred to making people redundant as “shooting them”. Worked for myself ever since.
   • Deborah Kean 3.4

     31 March 2011 at 6:57 pm

     My ex worked for AMP years back, and they did all that! (I was very glad I hadn’t taken his advice and gone to work for them!)
     Vicky
4. The Voice of Reason 4

   31 March 2011 at 7:48 am

   Would I be right in thinking that Timaru is a Tory town? If so, why did I hear locals calling John Key a wanker on Morning Report a few minutes ago? As well as being ‘confused about the detail’. And, er, a liar.

   Mind you Key did have an answer to why his Government allowed Alan Hubbard’s various businesses to fail. It was all Darren Hughes’ fault.

   Hopefully the audio will be up soon. Listen carefully and you’ll hear the sound of chickens coming home to roost.
   • Policy Parrot 4.1

     31 March 2011 at 9:35 am

     “hear [Timaru] locals calling John Key a wanker”

     The soon the rest of the country has that epiphany, the better.
     • Jim Nald 4.1.1

       31 March 2011 at 9:48 am

       Audio here:

       http://podcast.radionz.co.nz/mnr/mnr-20110331-0713-Mr_Key_heckled_over_handling_of_Allan_Hubbard-048.mp3

       ‘chump change’ said chimp ?
       • Draco T Bastard 4.1.1.1

         31 March 2011 at 12:36 pm

         error, “File not found”

         🙁
         • Jim Nald 4.1.1.1.1

           31 March 2011 at 12:45 pm

           Try these:

           http://static.radionz.net.nz/assets/audio_item/0010/2479465/mnr-20110331-0714-Mr_Key_heckled_over_handling_of_Allan_Hubbard-m048.asx

           or

           http://podcast.radionz.co.nz/mnr/mnr-20110331-0714-Mr_Key_heckled_over_handling_of_Allan_Hubbard-048.mp3

           or look for today’s file just after 7am at
           http://www.radionz.co.nz/national/programmes/morningreport/
   • Morrissey 4.2

     31 March 2011 at 9:51 am

     I too heard the news that Key had been “heckled”, and accused of being “confused about the detail” and “not telling the full truth”.

     At last, I thought, he’s been publicly confronted about his statements on Afghanistan.

     Then I learned this had happened in South Canterbury. Alas, it was only a bunch of Hubbardistas. Cheerfully enduring a few insults from those tycoon-worshippers actually makes Key look good.
     • Jim Nald 4.2.1

       31 March 2011 at 12:50 pm

       Lesson 1 from trading your friends, enemies, voters, etc:

       “you have to be dispassionate about those things”
   • felix 4.3

     31 March 2011 at 12:59 pm

     Chickens coming home to roost indeed.

     It’s the old “all of the people some of the time”. Key is discovering that his easy-going, fun guy schtick is worthless to people who are dealing with real problems. And sucks to be him, ‘cos he ain’t got anything else to offer.

     Key and English are slowly but surely being recognised for the gangsters they are.
   • gingercrush 4.4

     31 March 2011 at 3:16 pm

     No Timaru has traditionally been a Labour voting town. Only in 1985-1993 and post 2005 has it been National held.
   • felix 4.5

     31 March 2011 at 9:23 pm

     “Would I be right in thinking that Timaru is a Tory town?”

     Yes.

     As gc notes the seat(s) have historically been held by Labour, with National holding the seat(s) for the last 2 terms. In 2008 National’s Jo Goodhew won 21,759 votes to the Labour candidate’s 13,647. (The party vote was slightly closer at 18,441/13,230)
5. Pascal's bookie 5

   31 March 2011 at 8:10 am

   Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Barry Ritholtz R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!!
6. Policy Parrot 6

   31 March 2011 at 9:31 am

   I call for the newly to be appointed CEO of the Canterbury Earthquake Recovery Authority to be “patriotic” and do what’s [sic] right by the people of Christchurch, and accept the minimum wage for the CEO role.

   More than likely any person appointed to this role already has significant senior state sector experience, therefore they will likely have a reasonable bank/asset balance.
7. freedom 7

   31 March 2011 at 9:37 am

   Schools are not allowed to fundraise using RWC 2011. Even if they were gifted a ticket, they cannot raffle it. This is not news but this is…
   http://www.stuff.co.nz/dominion-post/sport/4829527/Rugby-World-Cup-turns-three-school-Rs-into-four

   Q:who paid for the 480000 booklets, and what corporate paddock patties do they contain?

   love this bit
   “There was no commercial branding on any of the resources, although logos of the Rugby World Cup, RNZ 2011 and NZRU would be displayed on the activity books.’
   what the fuck do you call the RWC 2011 logo if not a commercial brand?

   capcha: prices :]
   • Pascal's bookie 7.1

     31 March 2011 at 9:43 am

     what the fuck do you call the RWC 2011 logo if not a commercial brand?

     religious icon?
     • Draco T Bastard 7.1.1

       31 March 2011 at 12:40 pm

       hehe, that’s probably more accurate as well
8. William Joyce 8

   31 March 2011 at 10:34 am

   “The Welfare Working Group’s final report, Reducing Long Term Benefit Dependency, 2011, is arguably one of the most unenlightened pieces of work to emerge from a government-funded taskforce. Most submissions were ignored, revealing that much of the consultation process was simply a public relations exercise.”

   http://www.stuff.co.nz/dominion-post/opinion/4825017/Enlightening-the-Welfare-Working-Group
   • Jim Nald 8.1

     31 March 2011 at 10:41 am

     Whoopdeedoo –
     Consultation is Public Relations
     Government is Entertainment
     • ianmac 8.1.1

       31 March 2011 at 11:24 am

       But after the party is over,
       After the clown suits are put away,
       After quippies fall silent,
       And John falls sober,
       The chilling realisations
       Creep in.
       Good God he moans.
       Save me.
       I have trashed my country.
       Forgive me. Please?
       • prism 8.1.1.1

         31 March 2011 at 12:52 pm

         Never 🙁
       • Jim Nald 8.1.1.2

         31 March 2011 at 1:00 pm

         Hey Ianmac! Nice. But you sure you got the right John?

         Lesson 1: You have to be dispassionate about those things
         • ianmac 8.1.1.2.1

           31 March 2011 at 2:22 pm

           Well Jim. Could it have been Bill?
           • Jim Nald 8.1.1.2.1.1

             31 March 2011 at 3:50 pm

             You are a kind man and you are a good man, Ianmac.
9. Morrissey 9

   31 March 2011 at 1:35 pm

   WIMP-WALLOPING: Bassett on Watkin, 29.3.11 (Part 1 of 2)
   The Panel, National Radio, Tuesday 29 March 2011, 4.10 p.m.

   Today’s Panel is: Jim Mora, Doctor Michael Bassett, Tim Watkin.

   Putting Watkin up against Bassett doomed this program from the start. Bassett is a bitter and extreme right wing academic, who will stop at nothing to score a political point. A couple of years ago on The Panel, Bassett, in the middle of a swingeing rant, called Nicky Hager a holocaust-denier. Jim Mora did not dare to even demur, leave alone challenge, that lie. Bassett speaks with a slow, basso profundo delivery, and projects an air of gravitas even while spewing vile and rancid nonsense. He will not stand to be contradicted.

   So the choice of Tim Watkin is perfect for Bassett’s purposes. Watkin is mild, desperately eager to please, and will bend over backwards to agree with an adversary. Although Watkin is an intelligent liberal thinker, as shown by the articles he writes on his website The Pundit, he is also personally timid, and allows himself to be bullied by the right wing adversaries he is inevitably paired up with for “balance”. He is a regular commentator on NewstalkZB, where he plays the Alan Colmes role to a succession of crude Sean Hannitys. Paul Holmes and Larry Williams both treat him with a mixture of amused condescension and outright contempt. As well as all that, Watkin’s value as a commentator is fatally compromised by the fact he works as a producer for Holmes’s piss-poor Q+A television programme. A year or so ago, during one of his interminable introductions, Mora asked Watkin how Q+A was going. Watkin said, “It’s going great!” Cruelly, Mora asked that question just after the news had revealed that the show’s audience had halved, from an already low base.

   Anyway, let’s see how the first half of Tuesday’s show went…

   MORA: Ahhhhhh. Topic number one: Is there a disproportionate emphasis on the nuclear meltdown in Japan? Our first guest is SOPHIE WRIGHT, an Englishwoman who has been living in, and tweeting from, Tokyo, in Japan! Welcome to the Panel, Sophie! Ahhhhh, you, ahhhhh, say on your tweets that the overseas media, because of their unwarranted concentration on the nuclear meltdown, have neglected the real human tragedies caused by the earthquake and the tsunami.

   SOPHIE WRIGHT: Yes. The tsunami and the earthquake have been overlooked and neglected. The foreign media seem to have been misled into thinking that the nuclear meltdown is far more serious than it actually is. I think a lot of the reason for that is because of the Japanese mode of address. You know, the imprecision and vagueness of the Japanese.

   BASSETT: Yes. Why is that?

   SOPHIE WRIGHT: It’s the characteristic mode of discourse of the Japanese. You know, imprecision and vagueness.

   BASSETT: Yes, yes, that’s it.

   MORA: I see that four people froze to death in Miyagi prefecture. Uhhhhh. Do you think that the media have neglected stories like this?

   WATKIN: Absolutely! A lot of film crews and journalists were sitting round Fukushima, waiting for news about the nuclear leak, and they just didn’t bother with these other stories.

   MORA: Uhhhhhh. We don’t know what to believe. The Japanese government says that Greenpeace readings can’t be believed, and from this distance, uhhhhh, you don’t know who to believe.

   SOPHIE WRIGHT: The authorities are being transparent.

   BASSETT: People accuse the Japanese government of playing politics when in fact it is GREENPEACE that is playing politics! Greenpeace is jumping ALL OVER this. You have to weave your way between competing agendas.

   WATKIN: Mmmmmm, mmmmmm.

   MORA: Yes. Ahhhhh, Ten microcivets per hour. There are nearly seven THOUSAND microcivets from a chest X-ray.

   BASSETT: Precisely.

   MORA: Sophie Wright. She’s in Tokyo. Thank you very much for coming on The Panel! It’s 28 minutes past four. Let’s talk briefly about LIBYA! The humanitarian intervention by the United Nations—uhhhh, don’t we also have to intervene in Syria, the Ivory Coast, Zimbabwe?

   WATKIN: And Rwanda. They did nothing there.

   BASSETT: Zimbabwe. The international community hasn’t exactly covered itself in glory, has it?

   WATKIN: There’s blood on our hands!

   BASSETT: We need to remember, though, that Rwanda and Burundi were TRIBAL wars. But when there is mass slaughter, like in Libya, it’s hard to stomach from the other side of the world.

   WATKIN: Mmmmmm, mmmmmm.

   Note: Watkin did not have the nerve to bring it up, but during a real mass slaughter of civilians, in Gaza in 2008-9, Bassett found it exceedingly EASY to stomach. In fact, he applauded and vociferously justified the slaughter. Mora, like Watkin, forbears from mentioning that.

   News at 4.30. After the news, we are treated to the strains of a catchy New Zealand pop song to introduce the next topic…

   MORA: There aren’t many songs about Daylight Saving Time. That’s San—

   WATKIN: And yet YOU found it, Jim Mora! You and your team!

   MORA: That’s Sandy Edmonds from 1968. The song is called “Daylight Saving Time”.

   BASSETT: Ha ha ha ha ha!

   WATKIN: Ha ha ha ha ha!

   MORA: Ha ha ha ha ha! Russian president Medvedev says that Russia will not be bringing in Daylight Saving Time, to save electricity. He also says it is harmful to health, and upsets biological rhythms.

   WATKIN: Ha ha ha ha ha!

   MORA: Ha ha ha ha ha!

   BASSETT: Medvedev is no fool. He’s a lawyer. Does he really believe that or is he just playing along with the ignorance he knows is widespread in the Russian community?

   MORA: Indeed. Anyway, no Daylight Saving Time for Russia!

   WATKIN: Ha ha ha ha ha!

   ………End of Part 1 (of 2)………..
10. Draco T Bastard 10

    31 March 2011 at 4:00 pm

    The biggest lie in British politics

    British politics today is dominated by a lie. This lie is making it significantly more likely you will lose your job, your business, or your home. The lie gives a false explanation for how we came to be in this crisis, and prescribes a medicine that will worsen our disease. Yet it is hardly being challenged.

    Here’s the lie. We are in a debt crisis. Our national debt is dangerously and historically high. We are being threatened by the international bond markets. The way out is to eradicate our deficit rapidly. Only that will restore “confidence”, and therefore economic growth. Every step of this program is false, and endangers you.

    Sound familiar?
11. big bruv 11

    31 March 2011 at 4:12 pm

    I cannot wait for tomorrow, new employment laws that will mean business can afford to take a chance on new employees.
    New union access laws that will ensure that business cannot be interrupted by union scum.

    A great day for business and a great day for the workers of NZ.
    • Colonial Viper 11.1

      31 March 2011 at 4:53 pm

      A great day for business and a great day for the workers of NZ.

      NZ business confidence collapsing

      http://www.nzherald.co.nz/business/news/article.cfm?c_id=3&objectid=10716212

      English and Key are lost in the woods without a plan and many are going to starve waiting for them to get their shit together.

      And despite negative outlooks across business, prices are still expected to go up. That spells S-T-A-G-F-L-A-T-I-O-N dear Standardistas.
      • Kaplan 11.1.1

        31 March 2011 at 9:04 pm

        Bahahahahaha
        Big Bruv’s mindless dribbling meets Viper’s painful reality.
        I love it.
        That has made my month, and it’s the 31st… 😀
        • mickysavage 11.1.1.1

          31 March 2011 at 10:38 pm

          Yep well done CV. Are you aware that Goff is looking for a press secretary?
          • Colonial Viper 11.1.1.1.1

            31 March 2011 at 11:24 pm

            I didn’t know that thanks MS.

            Will Wellington bother to look outside the normal Terrace/Lambton Quay crowd though? My approach is very occasionally…less than diplomatic 🙂

            (and that’s even before I discovered TUCKER haha)
    • felix 11.2

      31 March 2011 at 9:00 pm

      fap fap fap fap
12. Draco T Bastard 12

    31 March 2011 at 4:24 pm

    Faith-based policymaking

    Today Rodney Hide released the official advice [PDF] on his Regulatory Standards Bill. It is the most thorough trashing of a stupid idea I have ever seen in a Cabinet Paper.

    And yet it will still probably be voted in by this rather stupid government.
13. vto 13

    31 March 2011 at 4:37 pm

    poooeeeee…, a large raw human sewer stink on the low tide sandy mudflats and a calm & glassy slick on the high tide water, unruffled by an estuary easterly. Yuck.

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1. The Standard: posted on 30 March 2011 at 5:13 pm

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