So what was phase one?
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2:50 pm, October 15th, 2009 - 14 comments
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Funny thing, I woke up this morning and thought to myself “what happened to the cycleway?” I was even going to put a “quick question” post up later today to see if anyone out there knew.
Then just a few minutes ago a media release from Tourism New Zealand turned up in my inbox to let me know that:
The much anticipated funding process for Phase Two of the New Zealand Cycleway project was announced today by the Ministry of Tourism
“Phase two?”, I thought, “that sounds exciting, but what was phase one?”
Turns out there’s no mention of what phase one was. I can only assume phase one involved somebody saying “let’s have a cycleway” followed by eight months of intense PR.
But don’t get excited too soon, it turns out there are three stages to phase two, each one of them sounds like it’s going to take a long time and none of them actually involve spending any money or employing anybody to build a cycleway.
At this rate we might see some job creation in time for the next recession.
It’s also worth noting that now the PR value of the cycleway has been sucked dry John Key is nowhere to be seen. Strange that.
14 comments on “So what was phase one? ”
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The opposition parties stand united for an Aotearoa that honours Te Tiriti, rather than seeking to rewrite it. Labour, the Greens and Te Pāti Māori are working together against the Government’s divisive Treaty Principles Bill. ...2 weeks ago
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Classic Natinal Ltd® – take a $50m, 3,000km, concrete paved cycle track running the length of of Aotearoa and turn it into a . . . ummm . . . well, nothing really.
Thanks National Ltd®, I’m lovin it.
Phase two: ????
phase 1 – cycle way
phase 2…
phase 3 – profit!!
No, it’s Phase 3 – pffffft!
Another puncture in Nact’s tyre.
It’s the words ‘much anticipated’ that most amuse me here. It’s the sort of thing you say to desperately hype something that hasn’t been on anyone’s minds.
Key is rapidly becoming a do-nothing prime minister, Bernard Hickey had a go at him yesterday. He wants flat tax I guess..
Phase 1: issue press release
Phase 2: issue contradictory press release
Phase 3: issue press release claiming that the media have misrepresented the content of the previous press releases
Phase 4: issue press release denying accountability for project and describing criticism as an “opposition beat-up”
But theres more…. from TNZ website
http://www.tourism.govt.nz
Two Requests for Proposals (RFP) have been posted on the Government Electronic Tender System (GETS). Registration is required to access RFP details.
The proposals are for an engineering advisor and one or two tourism business advisors:
New Zealand Cycleway Project – Tourism Business Services for Advisory Group (Ref 26215)
New Zealand Cycleway Project – Engineering Services for Advisory Group (Ref 26217)
Marketing Research
A marketing research study has been commissioned to evaluate high level market demand and market segmentation. This information will be used in the feasibility studies for individual projects and to also form the basis of track design.
Dont forget for PHASE two there are THREE Stages!!
http://www.tourism.govt.nz/Our-Work/New-Zealand-Cycleway-Project/New-Zealand-Cycleway-Funding-Process/
However amoungst all the bumpf the ‘quick start’ tracks look good
Local authorities tend to be quite efficient at this sort of thing. Let’s see if we can make this work…
The project clearly needs someone used to taking control… someone almost anal, in fact. Someone who’s used to proceeding regardless of the criticism and just plain mockery his actions engender.
Someone who loves issuing press releases, even if they are contradictory, and writing thousands of words on the minutiae of every moment. Someone who can win over the cycling fraternity by wearing lots of lycra.
I’ve got it! Micael Lhaws for Cycleway Commissar!!!
Sprocketman
He packed his bags with Labour lite
Zero scruples, shiny ham
And he’s gone up so high and light since then
He’s Sprocketman
Churning out his plumes of pheromones
But I think it won’t be a long long time
Till touchdown stings that tiny fragile mind
He’s not the man he thinks he is at home
Oh no no no he’s Sprocketman
His aint the kind of base to raise our kids
In fact its cold as hell
And all this conscience he don’t understand
Its just his job five days a week
Sprocketman
Wobbling on the bike of everyman
Sprocketman
Squirming in his socks on Letterman
Sprocketman
Sucking on the crumbs of yes we can
Sprocketman sprocketman
And he’s buy-uy-ing a cy-cle way to hea-ea-ven…
Poetry, mate, pure poetry . . .
Brilliant! But… pheromones?? *shudder*
The stunning genius has been having spectacular successes with selling an idea that has taken the NZ public for a long ride even before it is being built.