So what was phase one?

Written By: - Date published: 2:50 pm, October 15th, 2009 - 14 comments
Categories: cycleway - Tags:

Funny thing, I woke up this morning and thought to myself “what happened to the cycleway?” I was even going to put a “quick question” post up later today to see if anyone out there knew.

Then just a few minutes ago a media release from Tourism New Zealand turned up in my inbox to let me know that:

The much anticipated funding process for Phase Two of the New Zealand Cycleway project was announced today by the Ministry of Tourism

“Phase two?”, I thought, “that sounds exciting, but what was phase one?”

Turns out there’s no mention of what phase one was. I can only assume phase one involved somebody saying “let’s have a cycleway” followed by eight months of intense PR.

But don’t get excited too soon, it turns out there are three stages to phase two, each one of them sounds like it’s going to take a long time and none of them actually involve spending any money or employing anybody to build a cycleway.

At this rate we might see some job creation in time for the next recession.

It’s also worth noting that now the PR value of the cycleway has been sucked dry John Key is nowhere to be seen. Strange that.

14 comments on “So what was phase one? ”

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  1. BLiP 1
    15 October 2009 at 3:01 pm

    Classic Natinal Ltd® – take a $50m, 3,000km, concrete paved cycle track running the length of of Aotearoa and turn it into a . . . ummm . . . well, nothing really.

  2. felix 2
    15 October 2009 at 3:02 pm

    Phase two: ????

    • fraser 2.1
      15 October 2009 at 3:04 pm

      phase 1 – cycle way
      phase 2…
      phase 3 – profit!!

      • Stacktwo 2.1.1
        15 October 2009 at 8:48 pm

        No, it’s Phase 3 – pffffft!

        Another puncture in Nact’s tyre.

        • Tigger 2.1.1.1
          16 October 2009 at 10:30 pm

          It’s the words ‘much anticipated’ that most amuse me here. It’s the sort of thing you say to desperately hype something that hasn’t been on anyone’s minds.

  3. bobo 3
    15 October 2009 at 3:17 pm

    Key is rapidly becoming a do-nothing prime minister, Bernard Hickey had a go at him yesterday. He wants flat tax I guess..

  4. Clarke 4
    15 October 2009 at 3:28 pm

    Phase 1: issue press release
    Phase 2: issue contradictory press release
    Phase 3: issue press release claiming that the media have misrepresented the content of the previous press releases
    Phase 4: issue press release denying accountability for project and describing criticism as an “opposition beat-up”

  5. ghostwhowalksnz 5
    15 October 2009 at 3:36 pm

    But theres more…. from TNZ website

    http://www.tourism.govt.nz

    Two Requests for Proposals (RFP) have been posted on the Government Electronic Tender System (GETS). Registration is required to access RFP details.

    The proposals are for an engineering advisor and one or two tourism business advisors:
    New Zealand Cycleway Project – Tourism Business Services for Advisory Group (Ref 26215)
    New Zealand Cycleway Project – Engineering Services for Advisory Group (Ref 26217)

    Marketing Research
    A marketing research study has been commissioned to evaluate high level market demand and market segmentation. This information will be used in the feasibility studies for individual projects and to also form the basis of track design.

    Dont forget for PHASE two there are THREE Stages!!
    http://www.tourism.govt.nz/Our-Work/New-Zealand-Cycleway-Project/New-Zealand-Cycleway-Funding-Process/

    However amoungst all the bumpf the ‘quick start’ tracks look good

  6. Rex Widerstrom 6
    15 October 2009 at 5:17 pm

    Local authorities tend to be quite efficient at this sort of thing. Let’s see if we can make this work…

    The project clearly needs someone used to taking control… someone almost anal, in fact. Someone who’s used to proceeding regardless of the criticism and just plain mockery his actions engender.

    Someone who loves issuing press releases, even if they are contradictory, and writing thousands of words on the minutiae of every moment. Someone who can win over the cycling fraternity by wearing lots of lycra.

    I’ve got it! Micael Lhaws for Cycleway Commissar!!!

  7. ak 7
    15 October 2009 at 9:51 pm

    Sprocketman

    He packed his bags with Labour lite

    Zero scruples, shiny ham

    And he’s gone up so high and light since then

    He’s Sprocketman

    Churning out his plumes of pheromones

    But I think it won’t be a long long time

    Till touchdown stings that tiny fragile mind

    He’s not the man he thinks he is at home

    Oh no no no he’s Sprocketman

    His aint the kind of base to raise our kids

    In fact its cold as hell

    And all this conscience he don’t understand

    Its just his job five days a week

    Sprocketman

    Wobbling on the bike of everyman

    Sprocketman

    Squirming in his socks on Letterman

    Sprocketman

    Sucking on the crumbs of yes we can

    Sprocketman sprocketman

    And he’s buy-uy-ing a cy-cle way to hea-ea-ven…

  8. Gary Jones 8
    16 October 2009 at 12:24 am

    The stunning genius has been having spectacular successes with selling an idea that has taken the NZ public for a long ride even before it is being built.

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