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Memo from Crosby Textor – fake news

Written By: - Date published: 9:06 am, August 2nd, 2019 - 19 comments

The Standard has obtained an internal memo from CTF Partners (formerly Crosby Textor) where it responds to allegations that it is a kindergarden for the rich children of Conservative Party donors, has engaged in misogynist behavior and ran anti and pro cycle astroturf campaigns to get a cycleway moved from near a client’s business premises to near an opponent’s premises.

On my reliable commute and dipshits like Mike Hosking

Written By: - Date published: 9:24 am, July 5th, 2019 - 38 comments

Traffic and parking in Auckland isn’t helped by ignorant conservative dipshit parasitic immigrants like Mike Hosking.  They really don’t get how this city can’t just keep adding roads as the roads backup after accidents. Or why it is so much safer for ratepayer cyclists to not have to contend motorists trying to accidentally kill them.

National’s brave new world of MOAR ROADS!

Written By: - Date published: 11:35 am, December 27th, 2018 - 132 comments

National has taken to criticising the Government for not building roads that had no coherent business case and no proposal to build.

Say goodbye to roads of national significance

Written By: - Date published: 7:29 am, October 25th, 2017 - 55 comments

National’s roads of national significance programme looks to be no more with an early casualty being the East West Link in Auckland, which per kilometre was destined to be the most expensive transport project the world has ever seen.

The Green Party’s Wellington Transport Plan

Written By: - Date published: 6:30 am, August 25th, 2017 - 2 comments

The Green Party will save families and students money, reduce pollution, and make it easier to get around Wellington.

Key to Homeless: You Can Stay at Mine

Written By: - Date published: 9:08 am, May 18th, 2016 - 54 comments

Prime Minister John Key has today announced a radical plan to solve the housing crisis. The homeless are now welcome to go flatting with him in his Parnell bach. The plan includes draining the swimming pool and subdividing it into flats, putting hammocks in the palm trees and making soup in the pool cabana’s kitchen. Max Key may have to move out to make way for the homeless, but the PM described that as a painful sacrifice he was now willing to make in the light of his son’s most recent social media posting.

The great big list of John Key’s big fat lies (UPDATED)

Written By: - Date published: 7:00 am, January 27th, 2016 - 76 comments

How many more lies will John Key tell today in his so-called State of the Nation address? Virtual chocolate fish to whomever guesses the closest number.

John Key’s patchwork ‘job machine’: user pays

Written By: - Date published: 8:08 am, December 28th, 2013 - 47 comments

John Key’s great idea for job creation – his cycleway project – has produced some benefits, but is a patchwork production.  Some sections will be user pays to fund maintenance.  Meanwhile the job creation benefits have been limited.

Axe the Copper Tax wins

Written By: - Date published: 6:49 pm, November 28th, 2013 - 32 comments

Every other political party has said an emphatic no to National’s proposal to override the Commerce Commission’s reduction in broadband charges.  I suspect that  Cabinet and Chorus’s board are not having a very good day …

“The Big Issue”: councils & transport

Written By: - Date published: 10:57 am, August 5th, 2013 - 15 comments

Campbell Live last Wednesday focused on transport: funding & Auckland versus the regions; public transport & roads; the revolutionary Congestion Free Network plan.  City Vision (supported by Labour & the Green Party – with a major focus on transport) & 2 Future West candidates launch their Auckland council campaigns.

Take “a long short walk”

Written By: - Date published: 10:22 am, May 6th, 2013 - 12 comments

It’s UN Global Road Safety Week, with a focus on pedestrian safety. NZ statistics for pedestrian injuries and deaths are sobering.  Children are especially vulnerable to careless driving practices. In the interests of our people and environment, walking and cycling need to be less dangerous, and more fun.

Missing the point: Minister of Tourism fail

Written By: - Date published: 8:10 am, January 13th, 2013 - 102 comments

Michael Field on Stuff, responds to a question he attributes to “Labour Party blog, The Standard” about our Minister of Tourism spending most of his holidays in Hawaii  and fails to answer the question he cites. Field diverts to past PMs, ignores all Clark’s NZ holidays, and champions “Kiwi” Muldoon.

Target practice

Written By: - Date published: 1:48 pm, June 30th, 2012 - 8 comments

Just before the parliamentary recess National released its latest set of Laura Naude targets.  They will join all the others – catching up with Australia, jobs from the cycleway, government surplus by 2014, yadda yadda yadda. I can’t think of a single target National has actually met. These targets aren’t real; they are just there to provide fodder for uncritical media.

Chart o’ the day: drop meet ocean

Written By: - Date published: 11:01 am, August 24th, 2011 - 17 comments

Economic cycle

Written By: - Date published: 10:52 am, August 20th, 2011 - 24 comments

Prime Minister John Key has reacted to growing fears that the world is slipping into a second round of financial crisis and recession before it has recovered from the first one by boldly opening a 180km cycleway through the King Country. Part of a $50m cycleway project, it is expected to boost the economy by $5-$20 quadrillion, according to the PM.

National cause of dire economy

Written By: - Date published: 2:20 pm, December 21st, 2010 - 12 comments

National still seem to be getting a lot of cover for their economic mismanagement from the Global Financial Crisis way back in 2007-2008.  But New Zealand’s failure to be “roaring out of recession”, as John Key promised, is no longer tied to the GFC.  It’s Bill English and National’s economic policies that mean that the government deficit is pushing the limits with no reward for average kiwis.

Spinning while the economy burns

Written By: - Date published: 1:12 pm, September 23rd, 2010 - 53 comments

The latest GDP figures are awful. the Reserve Bank had predicted 0.9% growth in the June Quarter. It came in at 0.2% – far worse than anyone expected and slower than population growth. The Key Government’s reaction? Deny there’s a problem and spin, spin, spin.

PM punts for growth

Written By: - Date published: 11:39 am, July 15th, 2010 - 15 comments

Prime Minister John Key today conceded that growth remains too weak, unemployment is too high, and that it is unacceptable that workers’ wages are going backwards when he promised they would match Australia’s in just 15 years. Speaking to a rapturous crowd of schoolchildren and journalists, Key announced a bold new economic agenda.

On yer bike, John

Written By: - Date published: 12:02 pm, May 31st, 2010 - 11 comments

After 15 months, just 10km of the 2000km John key Memorial Cycleway has been built at 3 times the budgeted cost. I’d like to see Goff take Key up on his offer of a ride on his recession-busting national cycleway. They’d be done in half an hour. Key’s flagship policy was always a joke and, now, everyone’s laughing. Come next year, voters are going to look at this record and say ‘on yer bike, John’.

No progress on Key memorial cycleway

Written By: - Date published: 9:30 am, May 24th, 2010 - 40 comments

I love that John Key is so desperate to show some progress on his memorial cycleway that he’s even going along to the opening of cycleways that aren’t funded with its money. On Sunday he showed up at the opening of a cycleway in Oamaru. The cycleway was funded by the council and NZTA. The recession has been over for a year – not a single job has been created, no cycleway built.

Re:Cycle (re-run)

Written By: - Date published: 7:03 am, February 27th, 2010 - 18 comments

We received this guest post about half an hour after John Key announced his cycleway. At the time, the very sensible criticisms it raises were ignored by an enamoured media.

How prescient it looks now, on the anniversary of the Prime Minister’s Jobs Summit.

The 59,000 failures of John Phillip Key

Written By: - Date published: 10:31 am, February 5th, 2010 - 47 comments

Nearly a year ago, John Key, shaken by the first whispers of disquiet over his government’s month-long holiday at the height of an economic crisis (whispers that would later grow into cries of ‘Do Nothing’ Key), decided to hold the Prime Minister’s Jobs Summit. This would not be a talk-fest, it would be a ‘do-fest’ […]

Key’s flagship policy now his joke

Written By: - Date published: 11:19 am, November 23rd, 2009 - 27 comments

Anyone with a brain has always known Key’s cycleway is a joke. The sick thing is he’s now using it as a punchline himself: Barack Obama’s planned White House Job Summit struck a note with our own PM when he heard about it during the Singapore Apec meeting. “Maybe he’ll do a national cycleway,” John […]

Laugh track

Written By: - Date published: 12:57 pm, November 18th, 2009 - 6 comments

As Irish has already noted, Fran O’Sullivan has savaged John Key’s record on employment and said that Paula Bennett is “too busy puffing her own achievements to pay much heed” to warnings on the dire long term-effects of high youth unemployment. What caught my eye was her quote from Key at the start. President Obama is looking for ways […]

Greens greenwashing for anti-environment govt

Written By: - Date published: 11:46 am, November 14th, 2009 - 10 comments

The Greens have announced the collapse of the cornerstone of their Memorandum of Understanding with National. With Gerry Brownlee as Minister for Energy, National hasn’t only failed to make progress on energy efficiency and conservation, it is taking illogical, retrograde steps. So why are the Greens continuing to provide greenwash for this government? I’m thinking about […]

Spin cycle finally into 1st gear

Written By: - Date published: 11:30 am, November 11th, 2009 - 6 comments

I’m all for cycle-ways but excuse me if I don’t get all silly over John Key knocking a post in the ground in Waikato and declaring his first cycle-way under way. The reality is the Waikato River Trail was being built anyway. In fact, it is already over half built. So this $3 million isn’t actually creating […]

Cycleway to nowhere

Written By: - Date published: 9:30 am, October 31st, 2009 - 8 comments

This just in: A picture of stage one of PM John Key’s personal solution to NZ’s recession – the cycleway to nowhere! OK, just kidding. It’s one of the images from The Guardian’s photo show on “Crap cycle lanes”. View them and weep, fellow cyclists… (If you want a political angle to haggle – how […]

So what was phase one?

Written By: - Date published: 2:50 pm, October 15th, 2009 - 14 comments

Funny thing, I woke up this morning and thought to myself “what happened to the cycleway?” I was even going to put a “quick question” post up later today to see if anyone out there knew. Then just a few minutes ago a media release from Tourism New Zealand turned up in my inbox to […]

Caption competition

Written By: - Date published: 4:44 pm, July 31st, 2009 - 75 comments

Just when we thought he couldn’t top the comic value of the cycleway…

More cycleway spin

Written By: - Date published: 10:35 am, July 27th, 2009 - 19 comments

[At the outset of this, let me restate, once again, I’m all for cycleways. Indeed, I wish the Key government hadn’t cut millions from urban cycling in the Budget. What I object to is the overhyping of a few possible cycleways as if they constitute some kind of economic recovery plan] Key has identified seven […]

Big dreams, no delivery

Written By: - Date published: 6:58 pm, July 12th, 2009 - 12 comments

Tv1 has revealed that our daydreamer PM had much much bigger plans for the cycleway. Like excited schoolkids, he and good mate Mark Weldon of the NZX drew up plans for a grand cycle race to be called the Sir Edmund Hillary tour that would go the length of New Zealand along the cycleway. They […]

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    •    New funding for four beds at Napier’s Springhill Residential Addiction Centre •    A new managed withdrawal home and community service, and peer support before and after residential care at Tairāwhiti DHB  •    A co-ordinated network of withdrawal management services throughout the South Island •    Peer support in Rotorua and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Coastal Shipping Webinar
    Introduction, seafarers and POAL Good morning everyone, I am delighted to be online with you all today. Before I begin, I have to acknowledge that COVID-19 has disrupted the maritime sector on an unprecedented scale. The work of seafarers and the maritime industry is keeping many economies around the world ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Support for resilient rail connection to the West Coast
    A $13 million investment from Government will create jobs and improve the resilience of the rail connection between Christchurch and the West Coast, Infrastructure Minister Shane Jones and Regional Economic Development Under-Secretary Fletcher Tabuteau say. The funding comes from the tagged contingency set aside in Budget 2020 for infrastructure projects ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Major investment in safe drinking water
    The Government is investing $761 million to assist local government upgrade under-pressure water services across the country, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and Local Government Minister Nanaia Mahuta announced today.  The announcement was made at the site of the water bore that was found to be the source of the fatal ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Supporting stranded seasonal workers to keep working with more flexible options
    Recognised Seasonal Employers and migrant seasonal workers stranded in New Zealand will be able to continue working and supporting themselves with more flexible hours and roles, says Immigration Minister Iain Lees-Galloway. The time-limited visa changes are: Stranded RSE workers will be able to work part-time (a minimum of 15 hours ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Relief for temporary migrants, employers and New Zealanders who need work
    The Government is making immediate short-term changes to visa settings to support temporary migrants already onshore in New Zealand and their employers, while also ensuring New Zealanders needing work are prioritised, Immigration Minister Iain Lees-Galloway says. We are: Extending temporary work visas due to expire by the end of 2020 ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Freshwater commissioners and fast-track consenting convenor appointed
    Professor Peter Skelton CNZM has been appointed as Chief Freshwater Commissioner and Alternate Environment Court Judge Craig James Thompson as Deputy Chief Freshwater Commissioner for the newly established Freshwater Planning Process (FPP). Environment Minister David Parker today also announced the appointment of Chief Environment Court Judge Laurie Newhook as the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Appointment of Judge of the High Court
    Auckland Queen’s Counsel Neil Campbell has been appointed a Judge of the High Court, Attorney‑General David Parker announced today. Justice Campbell graduated with a BCom and LLB (Hons) from the University of Auckland in 1992. He spent two years with Bell Gully Buddle Weir in Auckland before travelling to the United ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Feedback sought – Commercial Film and Video Production Facilities
    The Associate Minister for Greater Christchurch Regeneration, Poto Williams, is seeking feedback on a proposal to better enable the development and operation of commercial film and video facilities in Christchurch. The Proposal, developed by Regenerate Christchurch in response to a request from Christchurch City Council, asks that powers under section ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Govt launches bold primary sector plan to boost economic recovery
    The Government has launched a bold plan to boost primary sector export earnings by $44 billion over the next decade, while protecting the environment and growing jobs. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern today released Fit for a Better World – Accelerating our Economic Potential, a 10-year roadmap to unlock greater value ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Wellbeing of whanau at heart of new hub
    A new approach to prevent family harm that encourages greater collaboration across government and community groups is being celebrated at the opening of a new facility in Auckland. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern today opened the Multi-Disciplinary Family Harm Prevention Hub Te Taanga Manawa in Lambie Road in Manukau. The facility ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • New Report on Auckland Port Relocation
    The Government has released a major new report on the options for relocating the Port of Auckland’s freight operations while deferring any decision on the issue. “That decision needs to be informed by policy analysis that is still to be completed. As a result it will be up to a ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Dual place names for Te Pātaka-o-Rākaihautū / Banks Peninsula features
    The history of Rāpaki is being restored through the inclusion of te reo in thirteen official place names on Te Pātaka-o-Rākaihautū / Banks Peninsula and around Lyttelton Harbour/Whakaraupō, the Minister for Land Information, Eugenie Sage, announced today.   “I am pleased to approve the proposals from Te Hapū o Ngāti ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Government and Air New Zealand agree to manage incoming bookings
    Bookings for seats on Air New Zealand flights into New Zealand will be managed in the short term to ensure the Government is able to safely place New Zealanders arriving home into a managed isolation or quarantine facility, says Housing Minister Megan Woods.  “Last week Air Commodore Darryn Webb and I ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • $80 million for sport recovery at all levels
    Grant Robertson has today announced the first major release of funding from the $265 million Sport Recovery Package announced at Budget 2020.  “Today we’re setting out how $80 million will be invested, with $54 million of that over the 2020/2021 financial year for organisations from community level through to elite ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Keeping ACC levies steady until 2022
    The Government is maintaining current levy rates for the next 2 years, as part of a set of changes to help ease the financial pressures of COVID-19 providing certainty for businesses and New Zealanders, ACC Minister Iain Lees-Galloway says. “New Zealanders and businesses are facing unprecedented financial pressures as a ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Extended loan scheme keeps business afloat
    Small businesses are getting greater certainty about access to finance with an extension to the interest-free cashflow loan scheme to the end of the year. The Small Business Cashflow Loan Scheme has already been extended once, to 24 July. Revenue and Small Business Minister Stuart Nash says it will be ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • New investment creates over 2000 jobs to clean up waterways
    A package of 23 projects across the country will clean up waterways and deliver over 2000 jobs Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and Environment Minister David Parker announced today. The $162 million dollar package will see 22 water clean-up projects put forward by local councils receiving $62 million and the Kaipara ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago