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Caption Competition

Written By: - Date published: 7:41 pm, November 11th, 2013 - 98 comments
Categories: caption contest - Tags:

Conservative billboard cropped

The byline “just saying what everyone’s thinking” has echoes of Crosby Textor’s famous “are you thinking what we’re thinking” dog whistle campaign for the UK Conservatives in 2005.

Maybe the conservatives are getting CT advice.

98 comments on “Caption Competition”

  1. Chocolate 1

    I am thinking – what about Taoists, Shinto practitioners, Hindus, Jainists, Bahais, Pagans, Rastafarians, Zoroastrians and Muslims?

  2. Anthony 2

    Thank God for Europe and my European Passport.

    Here I come.

  3. the pigman 3

    Industrial wasteland provides prescient backdrop to NZ’s political future.

  4. Matthew 4

    I doubt this was the smartest way to do it, but the Conservatives are often referred to as “the religious right” (or at least, NZ’s version of it), so it’s probably a smart move on their part to try and shake off that image.

    Won’t stop me voting Greens though.

  5. karol 5

    A better NZ?

    Everyone must then be thinking, “better than under Key’s government”.

  6. Daveosaurus 7

    I notice that they don’t welcome Jews.

    I’ve seen people seriously labelled anti-Semitic for less than that.

    • karol 7.1

      They also don’t welcome Muslims.

      • Tat Loo (CV) 7.1.1

        Yep. The statement is all about what was left out.

        Money buys consultant crafted speech in politics. A lot of money buys a lot of it.

        • Chocolate


        • One Anonymous Knucklehead

          The statement is essentially defensive, buying into the prevailing impression of the Conservatives representing religious intolerance. In that sense it’s not great value for money.

          As Nixon once (allegedly) said “I know he doesn’t fuck pigs, just make the bastard deny it”.

      • David H 7.1.2

        And if you are Poor don’t bother either.

  7. QoT 8

    “Is everyone really thinking in the first person plural?”

  8. Bill Drees 9

    We welcome blah blah blah as long as they believe in:
    an NZ that does not challenge a cosy white middle class ascendancy.

    We welcome blah blah blah as long as they believe in:
    not asserting their identity.

    We welcome blah blah blah as long as they believe in:
    doffing their caps when Tories pass by,

  9. Zorr 10

    “This billboard by the Conservatives is the writing on the wall for John Key because it has been known for a long time he doesn’t give a fuck about NZ”

  10. karol 11

    Either Craig is not a Christian Conservative or NZ must truly be God Zone, then for, what Christian god would favour only the people of one country?

    Hebrews 11:16

    But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city.

  11. Te Reo Putake 12


    I can smell Orewa all over this one. Leaving out Islam is the giveaway; welcoming Muslims would be a step too far. It’s pitched to the UKIP section of the votosphere, the ‘why do they insist on speaking that lingo, they’re in NZ now’ types who think they’re the font of common sense and decency.

  12. miravox 13

    Are we commenting on the sign that says ‘free shop open mainly clothes and books’? What a great community initiative! Or are we looking at the sign on the other end of the fence? – can’t quite read it.

    • Tat Loo (CV) 13.1

      didn’t see that until you pointed it out! 🙂

    • Lanthanide 13.2

      The other sign says something like “surplus paint wanted, 50c per litre”. Or it might be 20c.

      • Lanthanide 13.2.1

        I mean the smaller sign on the fence, not the free-standing one that clearly says surplus. Can’t remember what the rest of the freestanding one says.

      • miravox 13.2.2

        I’ve got a pail of conservative blue paint – ideal for fixing billboards, if anyone is interested 😉

        • David H

          I have a 10 Litre bucket of Electric Blue. Maybe I should go paint the board where someone took out Nathan useless Guy’s office window the other day. Yes a nice Blue background with Vote Labour in RED lol

  13. Ecosse 14

    The Conservatives seem to have missed a bit off their poster, how re miss,
    “Wealthy Martians & Sir Bob Jones Clones Are More Than Welcome.!”

  14. rilsildowgtn 15

    Repent Repent……

  15. Karyn 16

    The New Zealand Conservative Party..A bunch of racist right wing nutcases with the lowest common denominator thinking and nothing of any relevance to say.


  16. karol 17

    “John Key must be getting desperate”


    Dunne is Done


    Banks is yesterday’s man


    • Tat Loo (CV) 17.1

      This would form the basis of a totally great online campaign which could last for months and months…

    • Bob 17.2

      Labour couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery


      I hope a white boy asks out Hone Harawira’s daughter


      Russel Norman should head home to Australia


      I think the Conservatives might be onto something with this campaign. Now I just need to convince my wife not to vote for them!

  17. Ecosse 18

    Oh if you look too the left of the Billboard, if you squint a tad, can you see that car? There is no way it’s going to pass its warrent of fitness, ironically a bit like the billboards message! Look down another wee sign, “Surplus”…Well that sums up the Conservative Party.


  18. the pigman 19

    Four different fonts on one billboard. Have you no shame?

    (Just saying what everyone’s thinking.)

  19. Mac1 20

    The message in the poster distinguishes between the “we” and the “they.” The “they” are described as Atheists, Buddhists and Christians. Who are the “we” that I am supposed to be part of?

  20. JK 21

    But they don’t welcome Maori. Which fits with their dislike of Treaty settlements.

  21. (in a caption-free thread..)

    ..can i ask if anyone has an explanation for why craigs’ pupils are often the size of saucers..?

    ..(swallowing his whites..as it were..)

    ..is it just over-excitement..?..

    ..or a thyroid-condition..?

    ..it makes him look like a demented alien..

    ..phillip ure..

  22. “..we welcome bigots/racists/homophobes/poor-bashers/climate-change-deniers..

    ..all those intolerant of others.

    ..as long as they believe ..

    ..in a white/christian new zealand..where everyone knows their place..(especially wimmen and maaris..)

    saying all that sad-arse old-skool bad-shit your crazy old uncle spews when drunk..vote conservative..”

    phillip ure..

  23. Lanthanide 24

    That sign must have gone up very recently, maybe today? I drove past on Saturday and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t there then.

  24. Arfamo 25

    John Key bets on a better New Zealand too. That’s what the Sky City deal was all about wasn’t it?

    • Crunchtime 25.1


      Loving the pun.

      Nats line is a “brighter future”. That means more brightly lit casinos and pokies, obviously.

  25. fender 26

    “Just saying what everyone’s thinking”

    That’s what idiots said about Paul Henry….

    and no I’m not thinking it’s time to smack the kids.

  26. idlegus 27

    might be quite the evil little plan going on, with the conservatives, christine rankin is in the party. i just watched a doco ‘david frost on satire’ & it was really interesting because the message was the pollys that got the most piss taken out of them got a lot of publicity themselves out of it, it kind of shaped how the public saw them, but in a good comic way. when i saw colin craig on tv tonight, i thought ‘he’s a satirists dream’. if the nats/cons got the became govt, that could be quite a scary, key, craig, collins & rankin!

  27. Bill 28

    We welcome x, y and z as long as they (like you) believe what we (you) believe. And if they don’t, we believe our god wouldn’t be averse to us (you) getting into some right righteous smiting. Just saying…

  28. Rogue Trooper 29

    Long division answer Colin:
    “I tell you the truth, the son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because what ever the Father does the Son also does. For the Father loves the Son and shows him all he does. Yes, to your amazement he will show him even greater things than these. For just as the Father raises the dead and gives them life, even so the Son gives life to whom he is pleased to give it. Moreover, the Father judges no one, but has entrusted all judgement to the Son, that all may honour the son just as they honour the Father. He who does not honour the Son does not honour the Father, who sent him.”
    “No one come to the Father except through me”.

    John: (you are very welcome for the touch-up Colin and followers).

  29. Rogue Trooper 30

    No Irish, No Blacks, No Dogs

  30. Rodel 31

    It’s gotta be a Crosby T stunt or designed by whoever it was that did the ‘kiwi-iwi’ billboards.

    National’s ‘Bitter/brighter future’ billboards will seem milder and more appealing after these.

  31. joe90 32

    ”guikuiht s’euoyreve tahw guiyas tsnj“ .

  32. Mary 33

    It’s a handy wee blunder Key’s made that’s going to lose him votes. Well done, John.

  33. ropata 34

    Huffington Post examines 9 Jesus sayings about the poor
    Today’s news is full of speculation and debate about the national debt, taxes and potential cuts to vital programs that serve those in need. However, the conversation often seems overly caught up in the minutiae of politics and media coverage rather than the real people that these decisions affect.

    Luke 6:20-21 Then he looked up at his disciples and said: ‘Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. ‘Blessed are you who are hungry now, for you will be filled. ‘Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.

    Luke 4:16-19 When he came to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, he went to the synagogue on the sabbath day, as was his custom. He stood up to read, and the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was given to him. He unrolled the scroll and found the place where it was written:

    ‘The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour.’

    Matthew 25:34-36 Then the king will say to those at his right hand, “Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.”

    Mark 10:21-22 Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said, “You lack one thing; go, sell what you own, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.” When he heard this, he was shocked and went away grieving, for he had many possessions.

    Mark 12:41-44 He sat down opposite the treasury, and watched the crowd putting money into the treasury. Many rich people put in large sums. 42 A poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which are worth a penny. 43 Then he called his disciples and said to them, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the treasury. 44 For all of them have contributed out of their abundance; but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.”

    Luke 14:12-14 He said also to the one who had invited him, “When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, in case they may invite you in return, and you would be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind. And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you, for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

    Luke 16:19-25 “There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and who feasted sumptuously every day. And at his gate lay a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores, who longed to satisfy his hunger with what fell from the rich man’s table; even the dogs would come and lick his sores. The poor man died and was carried away by the angels to be with Abraham. The rich man also died and was buried.

    In Hades, where he was being tormented, he looked up and saw Abraham far away with Lazarus by his side. He called out, ‘Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue; for I am in agony in these flames.’ But Abraham said, ‘Child, remember that during your lifetime you received your good things, and Lazarus in like manner evil things; but now he is comforted here, and you are in agony.

    Luke 11:39-42 Then the Lord said to him, “Now you Pharisees clean the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside you are full of greed and wickedness. You fools! Did not the one who made the outside make the inside also? So give for alms those things that are within; and see, everything will be clean for you. “But woe to you Pharisees! For you tithe mint and rue and herbs of all kinds, and neglect justice and the love of God

    Luke 12:16-21 Then he told them a parable: “The land of a rich man produced abundantly. And he thought to himself, ‘What should I do, for I have no place to store my crops?’ Then he said, ‘I will do this: I will pull down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I will say to my soul, ‘Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.’ But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life is being demanded of you. And the things you have prepared, whose will they be?’ So it is with those who store up treasures for themselves but are not rich toward God.

  34. Tracey 35

    Byline should read

    but we still seek eradication of the jews and muslims


    if you look like us we welcome you

  35. One Anonymous Knucklehead 36

    *Better NZ, brought to you by astroturf.com

  36. Tracey 37

    My vote for post of the day goes to bill for

    “We welcome x, y and z as long as they (like you) believe what we (you) believe. And if they don’t, we believe our god wouldn’t be averse to us (you) getting into some right righteous smiting. Just saying…”

  37. Nick 38

    Apparently the top priority for many New Zealanders is the right to beat your children, something Colin Craig is determined to restore for ‘good’ parents everywhere.

    And deny climate change, deny treaty claims, lock criminals up for ever, work for the dole (how is that even a thing?!) The marriage equality bill was a failure of democracy too. Clearly a better new zealand means a party polling 2% gets to tell the rest of us what’s best for us.

    Interestingly he’s opposed to asset sales… That’s the only interesting thing.

    A better NZ for these types of people hardly seems like a better NZ for me.

  38. captain hook 39

    Hey great if everyone thinks the same.
    we are all homogeneous then and much easier to control if we dont have independent viewpoints .

  39. “We welcome white people (with Asian religions), white people (with Jewish religions), and white people (with no religion). Just provided you’re not dancing a powhiri for a visiting dignitary”.

    • Rogue Trooper 40.1

      Colin Craig’s Christmas Stockings (see-through denier)
      Dear Santa, could we please return to not sparing the rod on our children, have only men and wimmen marry , cease all Treaty Claims, and seeing as I’ve been a really good boy, could you please, please realign the planets, cos it’s getting really hot down here.
      CC (corny chips).

  40. Roy 41

    Colin Craig is so far in the closet he can see Narnia.


  41. Treetop 42

    Does anyone know if Dotcom is a buddhist, christian or a atheist?

  42. binders full of women 43

    Will Colin Craig welcome Benji Marshall & Ma’a Nonu? My jury of 1 is out.

  43. mike s 44

    “don’t always believe what you think”

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