Written By:
notices and features - Date published:
10:28 am, June 2nd, 2013 - 62 comments
Categories: making shit up -
Tags: simon lusk
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Hey Judith, I have left a few messages for you but have not heard back from you. Ring me it’s important …
Don’t you mean “Ring me, I’m important.”?
“Wolf in sheep’s clothing.”
Is that a Koch bottle in my pocket, or…
Yes……..I’m a rich entitled to be richer narcissist……..so what ? Fuck off with your “democracy” loser !
I’m posing for a PR shot ready for when I’m hailed as the successful destroyer of NZ democracy, and now I’m set to initiate the project going flat-out like a one-armed paperhanger.
My rule is never to let the left hand see what the right hand is doing.
Can’t see the hood for the trees.
That IS NOT blood on those trees.
Hunting with Slater is great, all the pigs are attracted to Cam and as you can see I get rather excited watching him root around on all fours.
Pockets stuffed with campaign contributions, Quisling Mosley prepares to go Galt.
Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day
“..i have eaten whaleoil..he is now me..”
phillip ure..
hand in pocket means orchard-porn…
phillip ure..
I love Judith Collins just as much as I love Sarah Palin.
If it wasn’t for Judith Collins I’d be expecting the police to do an Urewera style terror raid on my compound.
“i”m ambi-political..i wank with my left hand..”
phillip ure..
Starring Wayne Ker
cover-shot for ‘country-wanker-magazine’…
phillip ure..
I am Jesus reborn.
“..i’m off on a date..with slate..”
phillip ure..
born to mis-rule..
phillip ure..
“..i also cover john denver songs..”
phillip ure..
This one?
“Blow Up Your TV, throw away your paper
Go to the country, build you a home
Plant a little garden, eat a lot of peaches
Try and find Jesus on your own.”
“..i hate lefties..’cos..’cos..when i was 15…a leftie-chick laughed at my boat-shoes..”
phillip ure..
Very good!
“I have formed a lose alliance of committed fiscal conservatives” says the home page caption.
Oh for a Right wing prediction that is right!
dweeb-of-the-year..?
phillip ure..
“..i am confident around women..and i like to take long walks on beaches..
..and i have a golden labrador..
..he’s called ‘buddy’..”
phillip ure..
“..i moved out of my house..
..’cos i had to turn left when i went out of my driveway..
..and ‘this lady is not for turning’..”
phillip ure..
You see, you too can turn out like this if you make the right life choices.
(blleeeaaargh… spew,…. cough, bleeaargh…..
As we’re in the woods, I’ve bought a tent.
“I have formed a lose alliance of committed fiscal conservatives”
I have decided to call it the Front Bone Club.
Oh that is good… Added to the front page
I so can’t un-see that now!
I have Sarah Palin in my pocket
heh..!..’i have whaleoil in my pocket..’
phillip ure..
Playground for the rich is just beyond the trees.
“..i have never shared a double-sleeping-bag with that man..”
phillip ure..
Is that a Key I’m feeling or am I just on a self indulgent trip?
“..my name is brad…some call me ‘chuck’..”
phillip ure..
Card carrying member of Ononia has evidence in hand.
“..i know i look like an ex-cop..”
phillip ure..
Are you feeling lusky punk?…cos I am!
“You don’t get many of these to the Kilo”.
“Standing slightly three-quarter makes me look more approachable. Autumn leaves background will symbolise dying of an era yet hope for renewal through my guidance. No tie, too corporate. Slight smile, don’t want to look too stern nor too lightweight. One hand in pocket to look casual, but not both – too casual. Pull slightly at pocket to emphasise package and thus heighten sense of masculine self-reassurance. God, I’m sooooooooooooooo good.”
The choice of the rural gentleman’s sports coat, do say more…
I was trying to find the perfect descriptor for the coat, but men’s fashion is not my area of expertise. Let’s go with, looks smart but not corporate, sly wink to the Fed Farmers demographic?
It’s off the rack. A bit like his political strategy.
Got a bit of a halo thing going on there too….pull in some fundy happy clappers?
Is that a master strategy to professionalise New Zealand politics with American money and install a cabal of neo conservatives in parliament and the public service, or are you just pleased to see me?
Jeez, at least when Slater fakes a muscle for the camera it’s just a bicep.
heh – all those barbells yet not a muscle fibre in sight….(below the neck, anyway)
That face looks like it should belong to a deranged meth addict or something.
Try this one for deranged…
Fuckn’ hell….I nearly laughed then it dawned on me he might have had a stroke.
Or did he hit himself with a barbell maybe.
“..i play in a rightwing village-people tribute band..
..we are called..’there is no such thing as a village..people..!’
..i am the cop in that band..
..we also put music to ayn rand lyrics..
..with village-people stylings..
..but we have gone a bit neo-punk with our latest one..
..it’s called ‘fuck the poor..!”..”
phillip ure..
knob
“Key in pocket” claim repeated by tory “Rasputin”
Hard-right Nat softens towards centre
very good ak.
No!!! I’m not! It’s called Pocket Billiards!!!!
I didn’t realise Ewen McDonald had been released from prison.