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notices and features - Date published:
7:24 pm, June 16th, 2013 - 120 comments
Categories: john key, Minister for Photo-ops -
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“This funny hat is one of the souvineers I’ll take home to Hawaii.
As Minister of Tourism, of course…”
“I don’t understand, no matter I do I’m still popular”
Prime minister looks and laughs at another asset sales protest ,dosnt hear a thing
John Key has sense of humour, Lefties ask “what’s that ?”
Yes, he sure does have a ‘sense’ of humour.
international bankster in kiwi clothing
Like all moronic Tories John Key thinks he has a sense of humor.
Everyone is laughing at you John, not with you.
One-eyed prick looks down his nose at nz.
and its all this bitter hate filled view that makes the left look so pathetic.
And humorless.
jeez james – do you need a ladder to get over yourself?
ironing.
I’m a Kiwi hipster and democracy is too mainstream
“Im a little tea-pot, rort and tout
here is my handle here is my spout
I steam through Laws, they’re there to flout…”
Sadly – only too true !
Why do you keep confusing me with Richard Head my name is John SchlongKey
I actually like that hat.
you’re just a closet-hipster..!
..phillip ure..
minister for silly hats..
phillip ure..
“..ack-shully..i don’t wanna be pwime minister any more..!
..i wanna go and play..!..wif my money..!..”
phillip ure..
100% Made In China.
from the people who brought you tin-foil hats..
..we present the keyster..
..phillip ure..
“I’m really just the Kiwiblog mascot”
ayn rand fan-club initiation rite..
..phillip ure..
“..i just got this from ‘the pleasure-garden’ sex-shop..
..apparantly i have to lube it up before insertion..”
..phillip ure..
“..is joycey ready for me..?..”
phillip ure..
“..i do this to every new minister..i mark them..”
phillip ure..
“..look..!..my hat has a boner..!..”
phillip ure..
… chook! chook! chook!! … diner ….
Clown face.
The other one is a hat.
“..i am not a dickhead..!..so there..!..”
phillip ure..
“..where are my adult nappies..?..
..where’s my teddy-bear..?..”
..phillip ure..
Man in background: (Blimey, they’re right. He really is a turkey.)
Key shows that a silly hat is funnier than Phil Ure
didyahear the one about the rightwing sense-of-humour byepass at birth..?..there..?..blue..?
..silly hats and prat falls is all they/you have..eh..?
..phillip ure..
Phil Ure confirms Blues comment with lame comeback.
A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he’s not afraid of anything.
A fellow Browncoat!
Yep!
says River.
I’m a River? In my heart of hearts I’m a Saffron.
Yo!
Mellow Yellow
Electrical banana
Is gonna be a sudden craze
Electrical banana
Is bound to be the very next phase
The rabbit in the moon pounds the medicine in vain. 😎 Lovers and Madmen.
You know, I’d rather have Jayne as PM over Key… though River and Simon and Kaylee as co-leaders would be ideal (or Bill and Laura if they aren’t available).
“Two ways to choose
On a razors edge
Remain behind
Go straight ahead”.
Now I’m thinking of the amazing soundscape of “Exercise One”, for no particular reason other than it’s awesome.
Hour after hour of soaking in that music from age 13 on,
much more eclectic tastes now, Still, Joy Division, just Wow, recently replaced LWTUA poster for my living-room wall, own An Ideal For Living, Touching From A Distance, albums, eps,
*Atmosphere*
Was going to post my favorite one of these:
“How’s it sit? Pretty cunning, don’t you think?”
Why do people think Im a one eyed dick head?
Lol +1
And now for my David Shearer impersonatshun
key tries to show he is ‘common’..succeeds…
phillip ure..
Too late. Whale Oil has already done this.
What, pranced around like a fuckwit?
No kidding.
I like this image – so in keeping with the image of how a prime minister should be. Unlike Cameron, we can keep it from scrolling out of sight…
We respect how a prime mincer chooses to appear.
anuvver ‘weekend’.sigh.
Would never have known that Whaleoil’s done it because I spend no time in the dungeon
“We respect how a prime mincer chooses to appear.”
proof being that despite probable temptation, no-one has linked to the other version which appeared over the weekend. Where the beak was replaced with [also knitted] appendages not normally found protruding from the forehead. 🙂
and so has Kiwiblog and KeepingStock – but they are different eco systems – nothing wrong with lots of sites running caption contest – a lot of the users here would not have seen them on the others sites.
“..we used to do this at lehmans..!..
.. we called it head-fuck fridays..”
..phillip ure..
you can take the boy out of glenfield…but…
..phillip ure..
They should put this on a billboard at the next election.
“..does my nose look big in this..?..”
..phillip ure..
Pinnochio? Never heard of him.
PinoKeyo demonstrates that he is nasally challenged.
“Get this idiot out from under me!”
OK – that was funny!
Why?…acshully I have no idea why they call me Capt. Beaky – I’m blaming the hat.
‘So then Geppetto said if I sell all the assets I get to be a real man, not just a hollow puppet’
FUNNY FUNNY!
The 2 faces of key
1. Impersonating a Kiwi
2. Impersonating a Prime Minister
Lusk got the Angry Bird one ….
Ideas for turning New Zealand into a banana republic spring from Keys’ mind.
Hey, look at me, I’m a big cock.
If I look stupid the punters let me do anything.
Mickey Mouse ears are a national symbol of the United States … but that does’t President Obama ever wears them.
” but that does’t President Obama ever wears them.”
FFS Hooten you are supposed to be able to write a sentence. but obviously you have someone else check it for foolish mistakes. Can’t have been around, huh,
over the Hill
I especially like the pigtails.
Two faced turkey sent packing.
Our National Simple
JOHN KEY testing the new GCSB spy detection kit.
“Camera, microphone and headphones built in, antennae built into the braids, eh, and all connected to PRISM? For undercover operatives investigating youth subversion?”
mac1 you haven’t studied it properly.
That’s the camera on top. The antennae is in the nose. The braids disguise the listening devices woven in so that they’re undetectable. Very clever and using the PM too… who woulda thunk.
” Muppet”
Peckerhead
I’m a fun-loving guy when I ‘let my hair down’ – and I can let my kiwi down too.
The humble Kiwi is known to produce the largest stool in the bird kingdom.
That might take the prize 😀
Wolf in kiwi’s clothing fined for obscene exposure.
Even – fine for obscene exposure.
“I’m looking down my nose at all you losers on the left”
John Key looking for the Westie vote. Is there a snap election in the air ?
Everything happens for a reason, especially for a consummate corporate
climber like our John.
“I could wear this during the debates and I’d still be taken more seriously then Shearer”
The Right Honourable John Key Prime Minister of New Zealand…Yep! Insert Tui Ad Here…
Strength Through Joyce movement opts for woollen Pickelhaube
Couldn’t resist this fascinating word Pickelhaube.. And google gives a lead as to the shape of Key’s next headgear –
http://www.kaisersbunker.com/pt/
Duckhead
I’m a little kiwi
Short and stout
Here is my handle
Here is my spout
When I get all steamed up
Hear me shout
Greens all over
Voted me out!
Or
When I get all steamed up
Hear me shout
Greens all over
Sic them out.
An alternative version. (I’m a Green voter by the way.)
Eats, rorts and leaves.
Grand Poobah PinoKeyo demonstrates amusing new uniform for his subjects.
ropata That’s quite good.
The hat is more patriotic than the person wearing it.
Only one word to describe it.Plonker!!
The new campaign to promote Tourism. 35% Pure!
Probably would be more on the 80-20 Rule soon, down to 20% Pure. Which of course would be impure at that dilution.
Novelty hat tries desperately to free itself from bully’s sticky head.
the pigman
There was a NZ childrens pop song way back called Stickybeak the Kiwi. Perhaps we could adopt it as Key’s anthem.
I’m getting out of here. I don’t seem to be able to restrain myself from adding little things to the clever quips.
“This will happen to you too – if you rub Turia’s nose the right way”
“It’s so stimulating being your hat.”
-The Wiseman’s hat from ‘Labyrinth’.
Dick head.
John Key taking a leaf out of the Labour playbook ‘mmm note to self need to be more fresh/retro/hip/’
“We thought that we should find a use for all that wildlife we are removing from the Denniston Plateau.”
“I am following the advice from those friendly chaps at Crosby + Textor that elections are won by displaying ’emotional intelligence’ rather than arguing the toss. That is done by the courts and the inuversities .. I fink.
Gee, don’t I look emotionally intelligent ? Even the protection chappie behind me is smiling. As P.T. Barnum put it, a new one is born every minute ..
Make sure you publish the best angle .. when Tuhoe came to parliament I saluted the short one with the tatts, ah yes – Tame Iti – there was a nice shot from behind on TV.
I think that’s a kiwi’s head I’m wearing.
Symbolic, really.
How do you like my ‘cockney’ ?
Can I show you a few tricks ? No ? Really ?
I can change a few laws around here, you know.”
If you don’t like my principles…well. I have others. Groucho Marx, he’s great, such a robust philosopher.
“Another photo oppurtunity for me, this time to promote the latest headwear for the ageing, balding,fun loving gentleman, available at most Adult Toy Stores in NZ . Buy 2 and get 10 mighty river power shares. and a signed, coloured photo of yours truly, absolutely free. Be quick, offer only available while I am PM.
You soon won’t have John Key to kick around any more .. and I don’t care !
“Yeah, I’m a real dickhead, hahaha and the Prime Minister of New Zealand. Can you believe it?”
“The Clown Prince”