How do you tell when Judith is saying something that is not true?

Written By: - Date published: 12:59 pm, July 28th, 2020 - 56 comments
Categories: Judith Collins, making shit up, Minister for International Embarrassment, national, same old national, spin, you couldn't make this shit up - Tags:

Believe me, when things go wrong politically they tend to go wrong big time and you tend to stumble from crisis to crisis.

Which is the situation that Judith Collins currently finds herself in.

Clint Smith, one of the most incisive of political twitterers dropped this bombshell last night:

Judith was Minister of Corrections from November 8, 2008 to December 12, 2011.  She also served a further term from December 2015 to December 2016.

Correction’s data indicates that from 2008 to 2011 there were 8 prison break outs although 3 may have occurred before she became minister. The figures for the escaped from escort category were 5 and 2, breach of temporary release order 4 and 1, and absconding 8 and 6.  It is not clear to me what period the figures relate to and I have excluded the figures for 2011-12 and for 2015-2016 but the general response is there were quite a few.

Basically this was a big porky pie and instead of being tough Judith is appearing to be, at best, forgetful.

How did she respond?

She claimed that she was joking and you can always tell when she is joking when she raises her eyebrow.  I kid you not.

From Lana Andelane at Newshub:

When questioned by Newshub’s political editor Tova O’Brien on Tuesday, Collins – who took the reins to the National Party earlier this month following the shock resignation of Todd Muller – backtracked that “the odd one might’ve popped out”.

“But they all got caught,” she said swiftly. “I think you want to actually understand a joke when you hear it.

“The numbers I’m caring about are the 436,000 New Zealanders who are looking at losing their jobs. Those are the numbers that people want us to focus on. Not silly stuff from you.”

When asked if Monday’s claim could be construed as misleading, Collins retorted: “I think you want to get your Monty Python right.

“When my eyebrow goes up, it’s a joke.

“Do you not understand it was a joke? It was a joke.”

It is a weird proposition that we should measure the candour of the potential Prime Minister’s statements by ascertaining whether or not her eyebrows were raised at the time she was talking.

But I guess this is better than talking about how the vast majority of New Zealanders do not trust National to run the country’s economy.  Isn’t it?

56 comments on “How do you tell when Judith is saying something that is not true? ”

  1. Sabine 1

    How do you tell when Judith is saying something that is not true?

    first thing would be to NOT call it a 'mistruth' but a lie.That would help.

  2. Robert Guyton 2

    Judith's talk to the faithful was going so swimmingly, she got carried away on a wave of hubris that caused her to ground on the Reef of Untruth. Fortunately, she wears water-wings on her brow and was ably to inflate those just in time to save herself from drowning.

  3. George 3

    "Judith says nobody escaped"…when she was corrections minister…

    They're escaping now though from the National party.

  4. observer 4

    What is the Monty Python reference that Judith wants us to get?

    National Party is the Black Knight? ("tis but a scratch …")

  5. Shanreagh 5

    Her eyebrows are permanently arched though, how do we tell? How do we tell if we are listening to her on the radio? Perhaps as said earlier it is easier for her, and for us, if she did not tell lies or 'jokes' or whatever she calls them.

  6. Muttonbird 6

    Regarding the initial comment that ‘no-one escaped when I was in charge’, I have been reminded by another user elsewhere that this is the way Topham Guerin operate:

    Their political influencing is built around memes to keep politicians in the limelight……the readers/viewers/listeners of these memes amplify the limelight with their indignation, disagreement, and fact checking.

  7. Patricia Bremner 7

    So Judith what else are you lying about???

  8. woodart 8

    this is trumpism. tell lies, and when caught out, claim you were joking. the media should pillory her now, with constant referencing back to this, on any of her utterances.

  9. Ffloyd 9

    So I had a look at the piece where she said she was only joking. That you could tell because her eyebrow goes up, not specifying which eyebrow. Anyhow, she was obviously lying because NEITHER eyebrow went up. You can't move your brow when you have had botox. She must have forgotten that fact. What a joke.

  10. Barfly 10

    “How do you tell when Judith is saying something that is not true?”

    Her lips are moving

  11. Frida 11

    the woman is truly Trump-esque. Straight out of his playbook. Rogue polls and Fake News

  12. Andre 12

    She of the perma-raised eyebrows says don't believe her when her eyebrows are raised? I can do that.

    • Anne 12.1

      The only way I can do it is to screw up my nose and distort my lips.

      So, when we see her screwing and distorting we will know she is joking. cheeky

    • Tricledrown 12.2

      Chuckie the clown.

  13. Treetop 13

    It takes more words to cover up the truth than to speak the truth.

    Has Judith given it a thought how the emailer might be feeling.

    1. They might know she lied about what she knew.

    2. They may be regretting that they emailed her.

    Had the process of the email been handled differently, (without a sideshow) probably the situation would not have had the worst outcome possible.

    I have thought about the identity of the emailer and probably they are known to Collins.

  14. Ken 14

    I completely trust Judith Collins to be nasty, devious, two faced and untruthful.

  15. Byd0nz 15

    Q.How can you tell?

    A.When her mouth is open

  16. Wow – did you watch the body language when she was quizzed by Tova – pure evil!

    Check the video on NZH at 0.36 and then 1.35-1.38..the attempted fakes smiles and repressed anger and head shake – she's dealing herself a body blow over a trivial matter she's made a right mess up over. She's just lost the plot.

    Those poll ratings have hit a nerve.

    Very telling she’s trying to create desperate muck over a single refugee application. She can’t even focus on her core message – the economy you know and how they have the more experienced team..oh wait..that’s right her team are all leaving..ooops

    She will be cooking up slater pie…watch out for the crap to fly as he’s a cornered rat now…

    https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=12351589

    • Gabby 16.1

      She's getting quite good at the muldoon 'aaarh' with lopsided smirk.

    • Treetop 16.2

      The refugee applicant strikes me as though he is very observant. Can I suggest to him that he writes a book on our current political leaders. It will be a luxury for him not to need a smart phone to write a book.

  17. Incognito 17

    She’s a bundle of laughs 😀

    • solkta 17.1

      She reminds me of this guy:

      https://swannportraits.com/the-joker/

      The glabella is a “down” plane. This area is tipped away from the light and is more of an “under-cut” to the face. It tends to get overlooked when artists try to paint a portrait from a photo and not from life. This important little down-plane helps to describe what is happening with the skull underneath all those features. And when this area is injected with botox, it tends to affect how the eyebrows sit on the face, pushing the inside edges of the eyebrows down and out. Making “angry” eyebrows. Basically the glabella stops becoming a down-plane since it gets filled in and makes you look like the Joker.

    • NZJester 17.2

      My favorite joke is when she says National would be better at running the economy than Labour.

      I know she stole that joke about the economy from Key, but it is just so side splittingly funny.

      The even funnier one is that her Party are all united and behind her as leader.

      I think she stole that joke from Simon.

  18. Gabby 18

    Judith Codger's quite the wag, how we larfed at her Oravida 'jokes'.

  19. Keith Christie 19

    I wonder why she does not go by her married name " Mrs Wong Tung"

  20. Red Blooded One 20



    Perhaps Judith just needs some Joker makeup tutorial training

  21. Ken 21

    I just saw her on TV.

    She raised her eyebrows quite often………..but none of the jokes were funny.

    • Kimble Bent 21.1

      The best thing you can do is to get rid of the television.

    • Paul Campbell 21.2

      She even raised her eyebrows when she said: “When my eyebrow goes up, it’s a joke." – go watch the video

      No poker player ever lets you know what their "tell" is, if they do they are they are always lying

  22. stigie 22

    All these posts and comments about Judith, hell she must be a threat..?

    • observer 22.1

      Or: The leader of the opposition is in the news. A lot.

    • solkta 22.2

      It's exciting stuff when a new comedic genius gets discovered.

    • Ken 22.3

      She's certainly a threat to National's credibility.

      Can one threaten something that doesn't exist?

      • Drowsy M. Kram 22.3.1

        Despite considerable coaxing, Woodhouse's ‘homeless man‘ still refuses to materialise; maybe a few National threats will flush him out and restore Woodhouse's credibility.

        "Collins said she had talked to Woodhouse about the story of the homeless man sneaking into a quarantine hotel.

        She said that he confirmed that that information came from a different source than Boag, who provided him with the Covid-19 data.

        Collins said Woodhouse still stands by his source."

        https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=12348289

    • Treetop 22.4

      When you first meet someone and you have a lasting impression of them, no matter what they say or do your mind is not changed.

      There are good reasons for how some people feel the way they do about Collins politically.

  23. Tricledrown 24

    Matthew Hooton has a secret plan destroy National so ACT becomes the main opposition party.

  24. georgecom 25

    Tova O' brien asked her "Is it ok to be putting out false information….We're going into a campaign and voters don;t already trust you….."

    Ouch. A huge blunt smack in the head there for Collins. Voters don't trust you Judith and the media is openly questioning her honesty. Ouch.

    Collins did NOT like that question

  25. solkta 26

    She was asked again this morning about her 'joke':

    @2.01

    https://www.rnz.co.nz/audio/player?audio_id=2018756997