ImperatorFish: Arrest of The Environment ends campaign of terror against businesses

Written By: - Date published: 11:57 am, April 4th, 2013 - 9 comments
Categories: Environment, same old national, Satire - Tags:

Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.

 

The Environment was today arrested by police, after frustrating business groups for a number of years.

Police moved against The Environment following a tip-off from a concerned member of the public.

The Environment had been in hiding since legislation making environmentalism unlawful was passed by the government.

Minister for Expending Energy and Resources to Change the Climate, Simon Bridges, said the capture of The Environment was good news for the people of New Zealand.

“The Environment’s reign of terror has finally come to an end”, said Mr Bridges. “Now people can go about their lawful business polluting our waterways, destroying our pristine landscapes, and imposing monstrous sprawl upon our biggest cities, without the need to consider The Environment.”

Business New Zealand Chief Executive Phil O’Reilly applauded the arrest of The Environment.

He said that destroying native forests, obliterating green spaces, and laying waste to our entire nation in a slow and methodical manner would be “real wins for business”.

“Using our Kiwi can-do attitude to add value with number eight wire will create a win-win by cutting red tape and make the boat go faster”, said Mr O’Reilly.

“Burble burble burble”, continued the Business New Zealand CEO.

A spokesperson for The Environment denounced the arrest, but refused to comment further for fear that an oil company would seek legislation to criminalise her organisation.

9 comments on “ImperatorFish: Arrest of The Environment ends campaign of terror against businesses ”

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  1. blue leopard 1
    4 April 2013 at 1:30 pm

    Perfectly sums up the situation.

    The oil mining companies must be delighted.

  2. Dv 2
    4 April 2013 at 2:29 pm

    Currently thE police are taking the astrolab reef into custody.
    A spokesman said the the reef was in flagrent disregard of sfety.

    Name spresioon has been invoked.
    Bthe reef has been allowd bail.

  3. jim 3
    4 April 2013 at 3:06 pm

    Groundhog day Hobbit.So the corporation has now outlawed protesting on N.Z. high seas, in other words, we have cleared the way for you off shore speculators to come and speculate without interference not only from us but also from our citizens.

  4. aerobubble 4
    4 April 2013 at 4:21 pm

    Mother Earth hatred. Scared from the memory of their own birth. Only explanation for why they would poison their own food and water, leave their kids to inherit a global collapse. Fiscal, climate, population they don’t care the kind of collapse, the power comes from the knowledge that destruction is on the way, and they were the fathers of it.

    • muzza 4.1
      4 April 2013 at 4:36 pm

      In reality its a hated of humanity, or the *useless eaters* which drives most of these decisions. The inbred psychopaths who control this world, are hard at work, the evidene is all around!

      Puppets used, such as Bridges, must believe that they are part of the clique, which will be above and beyond the *fall out*, they won’t be!

  5. KiwiOverseas 5
    4 April 2013 at 5:30 pm

    Business Roundtable’s new slogan: Keeping the proud tradition of slavery alive.

  6. xtasy 6
    4 April 2013 at 5:46 pm

    Yes, Rodney Hide could never have said it any “better”, right?

    The “environmental terrorists” must be locked away, that will also mean the Green Party will be prohibited, due to being a “terrorist organisation”, and Greenpeace activists will be thrown into the slammer and put into work in newly opened coal mines on conservation land.

    The agenda is set, for NZ to join the rest of the “developing” or 3rd World, many have for so long stubbornly tried to distant themselves from. Earn a living through digging, drilling and prostituting your nation!

    Dig, drill, rip out, rape, mutilate and pillage on a grand scale. National is all for it and is setting the pace now. Legalise rape and there is no more offending. That applies to the natural environment, I emphasize, so others should not read anything else into this.

    This is great distraction by the way, from the new GCSB revelations. Top marks for that, National and Simon (burn the) Bridges.

  7. jim 7
    4 April 2013 at 8:03 pm

    The arrogance of this Governments corporate rule, tin pot wanabe totalitarians.

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