Joyce to roll Key!

Written By: - Date published: 3:38 pm, August 19th, 2011 - 81 comments
Categories: humour, leadership, rumour - Tags:

I see there is another round of Labour leadership rumour mongering going on. Goff has patiently (yet again) rubbished the “claim”, and pointed out that it is just stories spread by the Nats to try and distract from the mess that they are in.  Goff nails it:

“When is the news media going to stop listening to Whale Oil and Matthew Hooton who are in the back pockets of the National Party spreading rumours that have no truth at all,” Goff said.

Social Development Minister Paula Bennett had flip-flopped over the payment cards for beneficiaries and Prime Minister John Key had messed up over unemployment statistics.

“They’re embarrassed, they’re looking for red herrings.”

It’s such an obvious Nat distraction, wouldn’t it be grand if our journos could recognise it for what it is?

Hey!  Psssst!  Here’s a hot one!  I hear via the tipsy line that Joyce has been doing the numbers and is ready to roll Key!  It should all go down at a BBQ some time this weekend.  And best of all, this tip is every bit as credible as the usual Nat versions of same!

Sheeesh.

81 comments on “Joyce to roll Key! ”

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  1. Deb 1
    19 August 2011 at 3:42 pm

    Thing is why does Goff give any cred to Whaleoil. All he succeeds in dong is sending everyone over to boost his website stats.

    Anyway – good luck to Joyce, but I believe at this stage he has only a slightly higher chance of being PM than Goff.

  2. Policy Parrot 2
    19 August 2011 at 3:44 pm

    This story at least has more cred than the one they are running over at Fairfax and Granny.

  3. tsmithfield 3
    19 August 2011 at 4:01 pm

    “And best of all, this tip is every bit as credible as the usual Nat versions of same!”

    Given that Key has popularity somewhere north of 50%, and that Goff has popularity challenging the margin of error territory, I think the “Goff resign” meme carries a bit more thrust.

    • Colonial Viper 3.1
      19 August 2011 at 4:05 pm

      Key would be a more popular NZ Idol host than Goff, admittedly.

      • The Baron 3.1.1
        19 August 2011 at 9:26 pm

        Face facts, CV – we aren’t talking about idol, and the preferred PM poll is even worse – 50%+ to Key, <10% Goff. No party has ever won off those PPM ratings – but yet every time I point this out to you, you blah on about some miracle that will occur to reverse Labour's sure to be dire performance.
        Well the miracle you need is for Goff to be taken outside and shot. On these stats, it's safe to assume the public literally hate the sight of him. Pity everyone on the Labour front bench would rather lose to enhance their own prospects – what noble heroes all.

        • Colonial Viper 3.1.1.1
          19 August 2011 at 9:35 pm

          Nervous little critter aren’t you?

          Sure I agree with you, John Key Talk Show Star for PM!!!

          Goff has the gravitas and intellectual ability that Key can’t be bothered mustering 99% of the time.

          And now that Key has filled up his PM scrapbook (Royal Wedding photos + photos with Obama) he’s gone anyway.

    • mik e 3.2
      19 August 2011 at 11:59 pm

      Its more likely that given Joyces muck ups recently, that the silent assassins patients with him might be running out .And key will roll Joyce Haw Haw Haw!

  4. queenstfarmer 4
    19 August 2011 at 4:01 pm

    When is the news media going to stop listening to Whale Oil

    Perhaps when Labour’s campaign manager stops giving him publicity.

  5. mickysavage 5
    19 August 2011 at 4:05 pm

    I reluctantly read Whale’s stuff on rss to see who he is insulting and he keeps making shit up.  He is wrong that often that he should be embarassed.  He breathlessly repeats every half assed idea that some moron mentions to him.
     
    His is not a pursuit of truth.  It is a mud wrestle in slime with a very definate political goal in mind. 

    • TightyRighty 5.1
      19 August 2011 at 4:21 pm

      Taking it personally micky?

      It’s so amusing that you piously pronounce on the pursuit of truth. Can your comment pleased be moved to the weekend social.

      • mickysavage 5.1.1
        19 August 2011 at 4:34 pm

        I thought my comment was really restrained TightyWighty.
         
        Can you name me one, just one comment that Slater has made based on “rumours from within the Labour Party” that is actually true?
         
        Just one, any one will do.
         
         

        • TightyRighty 5.1.1.1
          19 August 2011 at 5:26 pm

          It’s not that cameron is right or wrong, your lack of comprehension is now no surprise to me anyway. It is you bleating about the pursuit of truth when you so obviously gave up on it and sat on the couch to play with yourself.

          • mickysavage 5.1.1.1.1
            19 August 2011 at 5:32 pm

            TightyWighty 

            You are making less and less sense.

            What is the problem?

            And how about you name one rumour Slater has reported that is correct.  Go on, see how you go. 

            • Ianupnorth 5.1.1.1.1.1
              19 August 2011 at 5:47 pm

              Slater’s a wanker, end of story – go away trolly righty/.

            • mickysavage 5.1.1.1.1.2
              19 August 2011 at 8:16 pm

              Hey TW Where is that example?  You know the one that shows Cameron’s posts are based in reality?

              • TightyRighty …
                22 August 2011 at 9:09 am

                I never even claimed WOBH to be right, so why do i have to provide an example?

                The fact that you are getting so demanding and shrill on the subject after being asked if you are taking the rumours personally makes me worry for your mental health micky. not that i really thought you were in full possession of your faculties to start with.

                Ianupnorth, you are a mentally substandard human being. same with you pink postman. you do the rest of humanity a disservice by displaying absolutely no comprehension skills at all. This from three people who all purport to author blogs? no wonder the left is so intellectually bankrupt. great to see the poor people of london housing estates blow wide open the myth of “progressive” policies helping people in poverty.

          • the pink postman 5.1.1.1.2
            20 August 2011 at 3:38 pm

            Answer the question you plonker or shut up.

      • Georgy 5.1.2
        20 August 2011 at 8:53 am

        . “His is not a pursuit of truth. It is a mud wrestle in slime with a very definate political goal
        in mind. ”

        Absolutely the BEST description of whaleblubberoil I have read. Well done MS.

  6. tsmithfield 6
    19 August 2011 at 4:16 pm

    Goff seems to have been having a few memory lapses lately. So who knows. He might have “forgotten” about offering to resign.

    • mickysavage 6.1
      19 August 2011 at 4:31 pm

      Goff seems to have been having a few memory lapses lately.
       
      You guys must get orders from above to keep respouting lines ad nauseum in the hope that MSM will pick up on them.
       
      I will tell you this doozy of an example of memory lapses however.  It involves this apparently intelligent guy who cannot remember anything when he was 20.  He went through almost the most controversial and dangerous time of his country’s history and does not remember what he thought about it!  No bull!  Good old Smile and Wave has no idea what his thoughts were at the time!
       
      If you want to offer anyone sympathy then Key is a worthy recipient.
       

      • The Baron 6.1.1
        19 August 2011 at 9:31 pm

        Oh you can tell how much this story hurts because how shrill Greg is getting. We know Greg – no one loves team red as much as you (literally).

      • KJT 6.1.2
        20 August 2011 at 9:32 am

        He my have been telling the truth. Rumour has it, that Key does not read!

  7. jackal 7
    19 August 2011 at 4:20 pm

    Hey psst! National supporters are a bunch of morons. They love bullshit!

  8. Rich 8
    19 August 2011 at 4:29 pm

    What I don’t understand is why the right are trying to undermine Goff as leader. Surely they’d be wanting him to carry on as long as possible?

    • queenstfarmer 8.1
      19 August 2011 at 4:47 pm

      Not only that, but I think most on the Right would rather have Phil as PM than virtually any other Labour MP. Phil is to the Right of most Labour MPs (he was even a flat-taxer and state asset seller, when it suited). He is a “known quantity”, having been there since Muldoon’s time, and is a generally good bloke.

      • grumpy 8.1.1
        19 August 2011 at 4:54 pm

        Actually, Rich has nailed it. National desperately want Goff as leader of Labour, that’s why, whenever there is about to be a coup, whaleoil and Kiwiblog publicise it and the Labour plotters back off – can’t have the Whale being right – can we??

        Perhaps the one feeding Whale this information is Goff!

        • mickysavage 8.1.1.1
          19 August 2011 at 7:35 pm

          Gawd why does Cameron, TightyWhitey and grumpy believe they know what is happening in the Labour Party.  It is not as if they know what is happening in reality …

          • Chris 8.1.1.1.1
            19 August 2011 at 9:02 pm

            I didn’t realise reality and political parties had anything to do with each other?

          • TightyRighty 8.1.1.1.2
            22 August 2011 at 10:29 am

            I didn’t claim to know what is happening though micky? I think you should put the bottle down mate. Politics, while important, should not come at the expense of your health. Especially as you will never be a politician, or anything important really.

        • Puddleglum 8.1.1.2
          20 August 2011 at 11:06 am

          C’mon guys, think a bit.

          Goff gets good coverage (for once) in the Herald and TV3(?) to the point that Matthew Hooton believed the public liked the way Goff was being presented.

          Then, inexplicably, Whale Oil and Hooton felt the need to spread self-described ‘gossip’ about Labour’s leadership.

          Yes, National probably want Goff as leader, but they also want him as the walking wounded. And, should it get that far, they probably fancy their chances at portraying any dumping of Goff as ‘Labour in a panic’.

          Being a pair of ingenues can be endearing, guys, but please try to resist your obvious tendencies to naivete. 

      • Deb 8.1.2
        19 August 2011 at 5:16 pm

        Yes QSF, on that right of centre theme, Mr Goff has the distinction of being in the thick of the original Neo-libs in NZ – he was a mover and shaker as Minister of Employment in the now famous 4th Labour government. In disputes between Roger Douglas and other Labour MPs, Goff generally positioned himself on the side of Douglas, supporting deregulation and free trade. While many commentators blamed Douglas’s controversial reforms for Labour’s loss, Goff said that the main problem had been in communication, not policy.

        Remembering some of Phil’s 4th Labour Government and when we consider him as a possible PM it is worthy noting some of their achievements:

        Floating the New Zealand dollar.
        Introducing GST (Goods and Services Tax).
        New banks were allowed
        Reducing income and company tax.
        Removing controls on foreign exchange.
        Abolishing or reducing import tariffs.
        Corporatising many State owned enterprises such as the Post Office, Telecom and Air New Zealand to be more like private businesses – some later privatised.
        Enabling the Reserve Bank to autonomously pursue an inflation target.
        Liberalised immigration to New Zealand

        • insider 8.1.2.1
          19 August 2011 at 5:22 pm

          Don’t Goff and Helen Clark (who was part of much of it too) now claim they had their fingers crossed at the time?

          • Colonial Viper 8.1.2.1.1
            20 August 2011 at 12:07 am

            Fortunately Goff has figured it out after the disaster of the 80’s and 90’s. English and Key are still batting for the soon to be extinct bankster neoliberal crowd however.

    • Ten Miles Over 8.2
      19 August 2011 at 4:49 pm

      You have a point. I’m guessing Slater is over-invested in ipredict stock for Goff to go before the election, there’s no other logical reason for him to push this agenda so hard

      • Carol 8.2.1
        19 August 2011 at 4:56 pm

        They know Labour is going to keep Goff as leader through the election, so they just hammer the leadership challenge line to undermine the Labour Party… but, that also does suggest they see Labour as a threat.

  9. insider 9
    19 August 2011 at 4:55 pm

    I think the lack of anonymity helps give them a bit of cred. They are identifiable people doing their own thing and stand by it (putting aside claims of NPRU feeds). You guys will struggle because of that, unless it is someone like Mike Smith, who is a known figure (although didn’t the ‘H fee’ story get launched through here?). The exception is I/S but he is ‘known’ and has carved out a niche using the OIA. None of his ‘rants’ get turned into stories.

    • Carol 9.1
      19 August 2011 at 4:58 pm

      WO & DF wouldn’t have such well known names if the MSM hadn’t given them a lot of air in the past. They fail to give any such opportunities for leftie bloggers.

      • insider 9.1.1
        19 August 2011 at 5:20 pm

        Farrar has the single most popular political blog in NZ, by a long long way. The media followed his already high hit rate. I’m not sure why Slater has a profile. but then I’m not sure why self made media man Martyn Bradbury has one either.

        And you’ve obviously never heard of Chris Trotter. And prior to that the now back in the ring and increasingly inflating John Pagani.

        Self imposed blinkered vision means only you suffer when you miss the coming right hook.

        • Carol 9.1.1.1
          19 August 2011 at 6:19 pm

          Chris Trotter and Pagani don’t get picked up by mainstream news the way Farrah and Slater do.

          • Chris 9.1.1.1.1
            19 August 2011 at 9:05 pm

            To be fair John Pagani has a column on stuff that is generally terribly written. On any given day any of the posts from this site/kiwiblog make points that are far clearer and hit a much better chord with the mainstream public.

            Particularly since recently Pagani seems to do nothing but attack people instead of promoting anything.

            • Carol 9.1.1.1.1.1
              19 August 2011 at 9:29 pm

              Reminds me of Fox News strategy. Claim they are balanced because they have views expressed by Liberals as Well as right wingers. But the Liberals they select always are weaker at making their points than the righties, and are their to make liberals look bad.

              • Chris …
                20 August 2011 at 1:57 pm

                Yeah that’s pretty much what I assumed the reason stuff published John Pagani was. Although they did use to publish Minto all the time as well so maybe they’re more about making the left wing seem angry with a huge chip on their shoulders.

        • jackal 9.1.1.2
          20 August 2011 at 7:20 pm

          That’s a rather big claim insider. Once again you’re making unfounded statement’s without checking the facts. In July 2011 The Standard apparently had 313987 page views while kiwibog had 311878. Hits aren’t always an indicator of support btw, as both sides read each others blogs.

          It would also seem that media exposure increases readership. I’m sure my readership would increase if I wasted money on some stupid billboards or got convicted of breaching privacy laws.

          I love it how you RWNJ’s always posture and threaten… Reading such drivel is amusing, especially as there’s very little chance articles based on untruths will hit the mark. The vast majority have no substance with many of the right wing blogger’s just making crap up.

          I think the main difference between the sides at the moment is the right wing blogger’s all have their hands on each others cocks. Then there’s the more extreme RWNJ’s who would turn the stomach of any sane person, no matter what their political leanings.

          Once again insider, your analysis is completely wrong!

    • lprent 9.2
      20 August 2011 at 8:58 pm

      Gee insider, don’t you actually read the site? Mike Smith, Anthony Robins, Ben Clark, Jenny Michie and a few others all write under their own names. I write under lprent (and if you can’t figure out that means Lynn Prentice then you have a comprehension problem) and rocky is Rochelle Rees (she got that because she hacked my login to give me a unwanted birthday post). There are of course many other authors who write for the site under pseudonyms. But I have never noticed any reduction in our readership based on the name of the author. It appears that is only idiots who are more concerned with point-scoring rather than understanding who seem to think that has any relevance.

      But the site probably has authors writing more posts under their real names than most around NZ. But right wing blowhards likenyourself are known for being quite unobservant when it contradicts their unthinking ‘facts’.

      Your later comment about page views is also out of date. Hits are irrelevant (we get millions per month) mostly because of the images, CSS, JavaScript and the spiders/spambots. They’re only relevant for sysops.

      Page views measured by client side js like stat counter, google analytics, wordpress stars, site meter, neilson, etc tend to exclude spiders and bots plus the meshed actual pages. They all agree with each other within a few thousand, just slightly less than the server side absolute page views. They are the most useful for cross site comparisons. Have a look at page views at Open Parachute – we regularly get higher then kiwiblog.

      Visits are a bit more problematic because it is settings related and varies quite a lot between the stats systems – in the order of 20-30% just between the systems that measure our site.

      Basically you’re talking shit.

  10. infused 10
    19 August 2011 at 4:58 pm

    Yeah good try.

  11. Craig Glen Eden 11
    19 August 2011 at 5:17 pm

    The Nats have had a bad week and when that happens they fall back on the Goffs going to be rolled line. All the shit is filling the National nest so they have to distract.
    One question John the Con were’s the brighter future you promised?

    Massive failure ! Oh and how you doing with the under class?

    • Carol 11.1
      19 August 2011 at 6:15 pm

      Yes, National want to make the elections about (presidential-like) leader personalities, rather than being about the party as a team or party policies.

      • The Baron 11.1.1
        19 August 2011 at 9:34 pm

        Slow clap Carol – your political analysis is that of a 5th former.
        Presidentialisation is natural as soon as you introduce a party vote under MMP. It’s been happening then since 1996.
        Please be quiet while the adults are talking.

        • Colonial Viper 11.1.1.1
          19 August 2011 at 9:38 pm

          Presidentialisation is natural as soon as you introduce a party vote under MMP

          False.

          Our media and our pollies are still playing a pseudo FPP game. MMP brings in more minor parties and de-emphasises the two main ones.

        • Deadly_NZ 11.1.1.2
          20 August 2011 at 12:03 am

          Go away Little Boy!

        • Anne 11.1.1.3
          20 August 2011 at 7:30 pm

          Please be quiet while the adults are talking

          Talking to yourself TB? Now be a good lad and keep quiet. You might learn something.

        • Puddleglum 11.1.1.4
          22 August 2011 at 12:38 pm

          Were you around for the Marshall/Muldoon, Kirk, Muldoon, Lange election campaigns? The focus on leaders is a function of the modern, media-saturated world.

          It ‘simplifies’ political decision making in the populace and implicitly reassures people that they don’t need to know much more than who the leader is to work out which party to vote for. Such simplification effectively neuters the governance role of ordinary people.

          In that sense, we have an increasingly anorexic and reductive version of representative democracy (which, itself, is a significant compromise on the notion of government ‘by the people’).

      • Deadly_NZ 11.1.2
        20 August 2011 at 12:03 am

        Of course thats what Key wants, something thats all to do with money and personalities, and less to do with substance. But he really can’t help it, he really is NZ’s version of George dubya Bush. Someone who is led around and allowed to speak, and do little things, but the big stuff is done in the back rooms by the real money men.

  12. Ianupnorth 12
    19 August 2011 at 5:49 pm

    The Nats would NOT roll Key – he is the reason they are popular, not any of their policies, or dare I say it actions – because there haven’t been any that have achieved anything!
     

    • HC 12.1
      19 August 2011 at 7:26 pm

      You are right – if the Nats roll Key, then their supposed support in surveys would drop from over 50 % to around 35 to 40 % from one day to another! This suggestion re Joyce cannot be serious.

      • Colonial Viper 12.1.1
        19 August 2011 at 7:35 pm

        Joyce is not going to ROLL Key.

        Key is going to GIVE Joyce the reins roughly 12-15 months into next term.

        • HC 12.1.1.1
          19 August 2011 at 7:44 pm

          Now that sounds a bit more realistic as a possible development! I suppose Key is getting tired of being PM, sick of being attacked and exposed, and he may have his eyes on a nice CEO posy for one of the soon to be sold and part privatised energy companies.

          • Colonial Viper 12.1.1.1.1
            19 August 2011 at 7:56 pm

            CEO is actually far too much hard work for him and he’d find himself accountable to the major shareholders; Key is going to the top tier of the Bilderberg group while holding down a few chairmanships on the side.

            • HC 12.1.1.1.1.1
              19 August 2011 at 8:45 pm

              And like Tony Blair and Bill Clinton he will tour the world holding speeches, like for instance about 100% green NZ and neo liberal economics that got him rich and famous!

              • logie97 …
                19 August 2011 at 10:06 pm

                Joky Hen touring the world giving speeches. Nope. No-one will be able to understand what he says. That’s probably part of his popularity. They see the lips move, the smile and then think all is well…

                • HC …
                  20 August 2011 at 12:35 am

                  No wonder then that he is still so popular with many “average” Kiwis! He mumbles, stumbles and is indiscipherable so often, so that few really understand a word he says. Hence the illiterate, poorly informed and educated love him, because he is the perfect excuse for them to make themselves feel better. Bear in mind that most skilled and intelligent left NZ long ago by now. That is what we are left with. Sad state of affairs, really!

            • mik e 12.1.1.1.1.2
              20 August 2011 at 10:13 am

              Yeah the bilderberg group most likely have a branch in Hawaii

  13. Gareth 13
    19 August 2011 at 6:30 pm

    I really don’t understand why labour members give slater the time of day, to my mind the way Trevor and some other Labour mp’s acknowledge him by commenting on his site, guest posting or bloody macho who’s got the biggest dick challenges. All this does is give ammo to the line that he’s getting inside knowledge from labour mp’s hence his ‘stories’ get more air.

    If Labour members just ignored him completely and didn’t get sucked into his games it would be much easier to say he doesn’t know what he’s talking about as he has no communication with the labour party. Instead he can make up any rumour he damn well pleases hang it on a leak from within and have some credibilty with the masses in that senior labour members have regular contact with him.

    • Colonial Viper 13.1
      19 August 2011 at 7:33 pm

      The MSM quote whaleoil frequently enough, maybe you should take your beef with them.

      “Labour Members” can do what they damn well please, neither the Labour Party nor the Labour Caucus control “Laboiur Members”.

    • Rob 13.2
      20 August 2011 at 9:54 am

      Who is this person called blubber???

  14. Steve 14
    19 August 2011 at 6:47 pm

    This post is a good diversion to get the heat off poor Phil.
    Most of you took the hook, line, sinker and most of the poster’s arm.
    Quite funny for the standard

    [lprent: Also quite funny is that you can’t type in your own e-mail address. Wastes my time when it shows up in auto-mod releasing this kind of stupid comment. Can’t you type? ]

    • Craig Glen Eden 14.1
      19 August 2011 at 7:52 pm

      What heat it was John the Con who was running out of the kitchen this week, poor sap.

      If it isnt a smile and wave trip he’s stuffed. Just imagine if he ever has to face a decent Journo calling him on his lies and his record. He can run and he can hide but for how long?

  15. Ianupnorth 15
    19 August 2011 at 8:54 pm

    As stated on previous threads, he’s only happy when being pictured in Women’s Day

  16. millsy 16
    19 August 2011 at 11:13 pm

    Lets face it, Goff, along with King, Mallard, Dyson, etc should all go, and let the next generation in.

    • HC 16.1
      20 August 2011 at 12:38 am

      With all respect, what “next generation” is there in Labour, that is capable? I have more trust in the Greens to provide opportunities and qualities for follow up members of parliament.

      • Craig Glen Eden 16.1.1
        20 August 2011 at 9:17 am

        Thankfully HC your and a few of your Green mates are probably the only ones who believes that. When are you Greens going to learn you wont broaden your appeal by attacking Labour.

        HC theirs an election the Greens and Labour desperately need to win the only way we have any chance is not to attack each others people and policy.

        • HC 16.1.1.1
          20 August 2011 at 1:23 pm

          Oh – I touched a sensitive nerve.

          Of course you are right that it is better, yes essential that Labour AND the Greens win more votes. But is it not great to have some more choices than under the system we had before? At least some who may not feel to comfy lit Labour have alternative options left of centre.

  17. Georgy 17
    20 August 2011 at 9:20 am

    I thought Bill English was positioning himself to retake the leadership.

  18. MrSmith 18
    20 August 2011 at 10:30 am

    The Nact’s had another bad week, so they roll out the old leadership challenge story.
     
    Problem for them is Goff gets lots more publicity and looks stronger and stronger in the eyes of the public and media, every time he comes out the other side.

  19. WOOF 19
    20 August 2011 at 12:19 pm

    I know Goff is the underdog, but I still believe that he can lead his pack to victory. The National Party bloggers may be trying to throw the media off the scent by getting them to believe that Goff would wander off with his tail between his legs, but no, he’s come out growling! So they can cry wolf all they like, but they are barking up the wrong tree. Just wait until November when a new PM could be unleashed! 🙂

  20. fatty 20
    21 August 2011 at 12:04 pm

    sometimes I log onto whale blubber’s site for a laugh, but instead it only makes me angry.
    he’s a pathetic sack of shit at the best of times

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