Three strikes and you’re garrotted
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- Date published:
12:10 pm, March 23rd, 2009 - 16 comments
Categories: act, humour, law and "order", national/act government -
Tags: david garrett
The Toad’s ‘interview’ with ACT’s David Garrett is so good we had to steal it. Like all good parody, it’s easy to believe it could be real.
An interview with ACT Party Law and Order spokesperson David Garrotte
Toad: David, for many people, you first came to public attention when you appeared drunk on Eye to Eye.
Garrotte: Yeah, I was pretty pissed. I’d been on it all afternoon.
Toad: And you equated homosexuals with paedophiles on Eye to Eye. Are you homophobic?
Garrotte: Hell, no! I just don’t like poofters – or any other perverts or deviants for that matter.
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- Release: Nicola Willis’ smaller ferries will cost more
After wasting a year, Nicola Willis has delivered a worse deal for the Cook Strait ferries that will end up being more expensive and take longer to arrive. ...2 weeks ago
- Bill to sanction unlawful occupation of Palestine
Green Party co-leader Chlöe Swarbrick has today launched a Member’s Bill to sanction Israel for its unlawful presence in the Occupied Palestinian Territory, as the All Out For Gaza rally reaches Parliament. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Labour fully supports greyhound racing ban
The Government has done the right thing in moving to ban greyhound racing. ...2 weeks ago
- Greyhound racing industry ban marks new era for animal welfare
After years of advocacy, the Green Party is very happy to hear the Government has listened to our collective voices and announced the closure of the greyhound racing industry, by 1 August 2026. ...2 weeks ago
- Rangatahi voices must be centred in Government’s Relationship and Sexuality Education refresh
In response to a new report from ERO, the Government has acknowledged the urgent need for consistency across the curriculum for Relationship and Sexuality Education (RSE) in schools. ...2 weeks ago
- Govt introduces archaic anti-worker legislation
The Green Party is appalled at the Government introducing legislation that will make it easier to penalise workers fighting for better pay and conditions. ...2 weeks ago
- Winston Peters – Kinleith Mill Speech
Thank you for the invitation to speak with you tonight on behalf of the political party I belong to - which is New Zealand First. As we have heard before this evening the Kinleith Mill is proposing to reduce operations by focusing on pulp and discontinuing “lossmaking paper production”. They say that they are currently consulting on the plan to permanently shut ...2 weeks ago - Swarbrick calls on Auckland Mayor to end delay of revival of St James Theatre
Auckland Central MP, Chlöe Swarbrick, has written to Mayor Wayne Brown requesting he stop the unnecessary delays on St James Theatre’s restoration. ...2 weeks ago
- He Ara Anamata: Greens launch Emissions Reduction Plan
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- Internationally-trained doctors jump at chance to boost health workforce
Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says Health New Zealand will move swiftly to support dozens of internationally-trained doctors already in New Zealand on their journey to employment here, after a tripling of sought-after examination places. “The Medical Council has delivered great news for hardworking overseas doctors who want to contribute ...19 hours ago - PM appoints business leader to APEC Business Advisory Council
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has appointed Sarah Ottrey to the APEC Business Advisory Council (ABAC). “At my first APEC Summit in Lima, I experienced firsthand the role that ABAC plays in guaranteeing political leaders hear the voice of business,” Mr Luxon says. “New Zealand’s ABAC representatives are very well respected and ...3 days ago
- New intelligence oversight appointments
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- New housing developments able to progress more quickly
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- Actions to speed up air travel delivering results
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- Ending contracted emergency housing in Rotorua
The Government today announced the intended closure of the Apollo Hotel as Contracted Emergency Housing (CEH) in Rotorua, Associate Housing Minister Tama Potaka says. This follows a 30 per cent reduction in the number of households in CEH in Rotorua since National came into Government. “Our focus is on ending CEH in the Whakarewarewa area starting ...3 days ago
- Vocational education and training decisions support return to regions
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- Reducing the environmental impact of synthetic refrigerants
The Government is taking action to better manage synthetic refrigerants and reduce emissions caused by greenhouse gases found in heating and cooling products, Environment Minister Penny Simmonds says. “Regulations will be drafted to support a product stewardship scheme for synthetic refrigerants, Ms. Simmonds says. “Synthetic refrigerants are found in a ...3 days ago
- Ngāruawāhia section of Waikato Expressway back to 4 lanes for Christmas
People travelling on State Highway 1 north of Hamilton will be relieved that remedial works and safety improvements on the Ngāruawāhia section of the Waikato Expressway were finished today, with all lanes now open to traffic, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says.“I would like to acknowledge the patience of road users ...3 days ago
- Appointments to the ENZ board
Tertiary Education and Skills Minister, Penny Simmonds, has announced a new appointment to the board of Education New Zealand (ENZ). Dr Erik Lithander has been appointed as a new member of the ENZ board for a three-year term until 30 January 2028. “I would like to welcome Dr Erik Lithander to the ...4 days ago
- Government to celebrate Waitangi Day around NZ
The Government will have senior representatives at Waitangi Day events around the country, including at the Waitangi Treaty Grounds, but next year Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has chosen to take part in celebrations elsewhere. “It has always been my intention to celebrate Waitangi Day around the country with different ...4 days ago
- More gangs added to Gangs Act list
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- Judicial appointment announced
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- GDP data highlights importance of growth
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- Strengthening Free Speech in Universities
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- Launch of Emergency Cellular Priority Service
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- Minister reopens Mangamuka Gorge
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- Funding confirmed for second Ashburton Bridge
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- Government boosts support for avian influenza response
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- Levelling the playing field for media advertising
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- Inspector-General of Defence appointed
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- Fire and Emergency New Zealand final levy rates confirmed
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- More AML relief on the way for Kiwi businesses
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- Hawke’s Bay Expressway moving at pace
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- Government seeks partnerships to plant trees on Crown-owned-land
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- Wide ranging legislation to make justice system more efficient
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- Diverse skills in community trust appointments
A total of 41 appointments and reappointments have been made to the 12 community trusts around New Zealand that serve their regions, Associate Finance Minister Shane Jones says. “These trusts, and the communities they serve from the Far North to the deep south, will benefit from the rich experience, knowledge, ...5 days ago
- Torture redress for survivors of the Lake Alice Unit
The Government has confirmed how it will provide redress to survivors who were tortured at the Lake Alice Psychiatric Hospital Child and Adolescent Unit (the Lake Alice Unit). “The Royal Commission of Inquiry into Abuse in Care found that many of the 362 children who went through the Lake Alice Unit between 1972 and ...5 days ago
- A busy year in the House
It has been a busy, productive year in the House as the coalition Government works hard to get New Zealand back on track, Leader of the House Chris Bishop says. “This Government promised to rebuild the economy, restore law and order and reduce the cost of living. Our record this ...5 days ago
- Consultation opens on working with engineered stone
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- Greater reporting on Treaty settlement commitments
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- New appointments to the Charities Registration Board
Mr Roger Holmes Miller and Ms Tarita Hutchinson have been appointed to the Charities Registration Board, Community and Voluntary Sector Minister Louise Upston says. “I would like to welcome the new members joining the Charities Registration Board. “The appointment of Ms Hutchinson and Mr Miller will strengthen the Board’s capacity ...5 days ago
- Building consent processing times improve
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- Faster access to support through Innovation Fund
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- New Zealand to assist Vanuatu on earthquake response
New Zealand is providing Vanuatu assistance following yesterday's devastating earthquake, Foreign Minister Winston Peters says. "Vanuatu is a member of our Pacific family and we are supporting it in this time of acute need," Mr Peters says. "Our thoughts are with the people of Vanuatu, and we will be ...5 days ago
- Government takes steps to reduce card fees for Kiwis
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- Review recommends ECE regulation shakeup
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- Offshore Renewable Energy Bill passes first reading
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- Local Government (Water Services) Bill passes first reading
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- Gene Technology Bill passes first reading
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- Vanuatu quake: Warnings as bad weather threat looms for Port Vila
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Is this for real?
You are taking the Piss, aren’t you?
Sounds if this is real, he was drunk again..
What part of “parody” do you not understand?
Just go to show what happens when you don’t notice that you are being taped.
How is it possible that this man garnered an income working in the field of Justice?
An oik! Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.
I am so looking forward to this clown having a “Jeff Gannon” moment sometime in the next 2.5 years.
Thanks for the compliment Eddie.
Has anyone else noticed the physical resmblance between Garrett and Enoch Powell of “Rivers of Blood” notoriety?
A beautifully pitched parody. One could well imagine these “restrained” answers being given whilst Garrett clearly bristled with what he trulywanted to say.
Meanwhile DPF notes that Blaise Drinkwater notes Antonin Scalia’s comment on the Bill of Rights: that some rights are important and some aren’t (!!) but that “they were selected on the basis of, “what rights would a tyrant want to move against?'”.
Given Garrett and the SST want to dilute or dispose of rights protected in the US, from double jeopardy and silence to protection from “cruel and unusual punishment” – and given that National seem unconcerned about the impact of letting them have their way – then I wonder how Key takes to being described as a tyrant by a notoriously conservative US Justice? 😈
Are white people still exempt?
I’ld really like someone to clarify the SST & ACT on when white/Asian people kill it doesn’t hurt so should get a medal?
[lprent: Just been looking at your comments. You look like a troll in your various guises. Adding you to auto-moderation because you also look like someone we have banned]
To clarify, it’s troll like to ask questions of the seeming racial imbalance of causes the SST & ACT champion or dismiss?
Well I say no it isn’t. It is a serious question worthy of consideration. (Possibly not express well in the first instance).
A brown boy is stabbed to death by a white male and Garth calls for Home detention (& I seem to hear others call for a medal for him).
I’m not against Home Detention, infact probbly a very good sentence as I don’t suspect he is generally a danger to other and with suitable programmes will rehabilitate well back into society. The support of a family is a positive factor in this.
This should also be open to the majority of prisoners behind bars today.
I await your apology in regards to your slur upon my person.
[lprent: Sure looks like trollish to me. Specifically a wingnut trying to look like a moonbat]
I put this just on my blog recently – which is a good place for things I don’t want people to see – but I thought you might appreciate it:
Separated at birth?
Hey – this is geat – finally a sensible person in government.
He should be prime minister.
Ah Lyndon, brilliant!
Not only does he look like Powell, but like Mosely as well.
An extraordianry coincidence, Sorry, but don’t think we can find the Franco or Hitler or Mussolini likenesses to Garrett anywhere though.
But if the cap fits…
I reckon he most closely resembles Alf Garnett – showing my age, I guess.
i used ta have a teacher with your name haha