Written By: - Date published: 2:28 pm, January 26th, 2009 - 54 comments
Categories: australian politics, humour - Tags:

After losing their last four seats in the Senate after Australia’s 2007 election, the Australian Democrats are trying hard to stay relevant and in the public eye. They see their fortunes resting on the party’s founding mantra to “keep the bastards honest”. So they’ve translated that term coined in 1980 by then leader Don Chip into a blog – “BastardWatch“.

With no parliamentary representation the Democrats are relying hugely on the blog. Is it enough to bring a party back from electoral oblivion? Well, I did enjoy their little game “Grill a Bastard” where you get to grill Aussie politicians on the barbie until they tell the truth about themselves. But I’m not sure that’s quite going to be enough… Maybe they need Winston Peters.


54 comments on “BastardWatch”

  1. Imagine if a site had Bitch watch, and a game when you can grill Helen Clark on a BBQ?

    I doubt if you guys would get enjoyment out of that.

  2. higherstandard 2

    Celebrity death match …… but with politicians …. now that would be worth a look.

  3. DeeDub 3

    Do you miss Helen, Brett? She’s not PM anymore, mate. Move on.

  4. I just found it hypocritical.

  5. DeeDub 5

    Well I thought it was interesting, juxtaposing their words with their actions; exposing hypocrisy, if anything.

  6. Pascal's bookie 6

    I just found it hypocritical.

    You found what hypocritical?

    The imagined response from ‘you guys’ to a hypothetical situation you invented to create that same imagined response. A response that just happens to fit your preconcieved ideas about said ‘you guys’.

    Damning evidence of something that. But hardly actual hypocrisy on the part of ‘you guys’.

  7. Matthew Pilott 7

    What made you change your mind, Brett?

    Did you realise you just looked like you were having a public and pointless cry?

    HS certainly has the right idea (not to mention a sense of humour, something BD needs more than anything).

  8. Tigger 8

    I’d love Bitch Watch – I assume it would contain a bunch of ‘bitches’ from our current Parliament, Brownlee (Key’s bitch if ever there was one), Ryall, Smith, Collins, Wilkinson… Of course, Clark wouldn’t be eligible since the whole point of it is to skewer the ruling government…

  9. PB:

    You can’t deny that if Kiwiblog had a Bitch Watch on their site last year, you wouldn’t be up in arms?

  10. MP:

    Just making a point, if it was reversed, you would be offended.

  11. Matthew Pilott 11

    No Brett, you’re making an assertion.

    I think tigger exposes your assertion for the sexist rubbish that it is – depends on the context of ‘bitch’ doesn’t it? Not to mention that there is the odd female in the Aussie Senate, so I would presume they are among the ‘bastards’. According to your view, obviously, bad men are ‘bastards’ but only women can be ‘bitches’.

    I could even suggest that you’re being hypocritical for attacking someone’s use of ‘bastard’ when you’ve clearly got a far worse take on it.

    Engage sexist brain before opening mouth, Brett.

  12. Brett you retard it is reversed – the liberals are a right wing party and they are “grilling” the labor bastards…

    You’ve been particularly obtuse in your comments today Bretty-boy – were you on the pipe last night?

  13. Robinsod:

    Im talking about the posters on this site, and sticks and stones.

  14. Matthew Pilott 14

    ‘sod – you’d have thought the “Rudd sizzler” caricature would have given it away, eh?

  15. Brett – if I could hit you with sticks and stones I would. You’re that frustrating. Alas this is the internet and so I am left with nothing but my rhetorical genius and scathing wit to use against you…

    MP – only if you were so foolish as to underestimate Brett’s near-autistic capacity to miss the point…

    cap: “windup dense” – perhaps it’s trying to tell me something.

  16. vto 16

    I think Mr Dale is merely pointing out the point that hypocrisy and loathing is common to both the standard and kiwiblog. While kiwibloggers may be a little more rough in their language the intensity of hatred at times, and the inconsistencies, are consistent. This thread is an example

    Sheesh, bigotry and ignorance abound across most all of society’s stratas.

    Or maybe standardites are in fact more enlightened … or so they would like to think, I suspect … like most of us …

  17. QoT 17

    Ah, Matthew – I fear your most excellent point is going to continue to be ignored by Brett, because addressing it might actually force him to consider his own ingrained prejudice.

    captcha: unparalleled upsets. Telling AND tricksy to type quickly.

  18. QOT

    Where have I shown prejudice.


    I don’t think real geniuses hang out on internet blogs, I would think they would have a life.

  19. Ari 19

    Just making a point, if it was reversed, you would be offended.

    Bastard is a gender-agnostic term. Have a look at the picture. See the female politician being declared a bastard? 😉

  20. The front middle sausage is a female???, I guess the face does look like a skinny Marion Hobbs.

  21. DeeDub 21

    Brett, do they need to draw little…um sausages on the male snarlers before you can tell the diff?

  22. If you can tell the different between male and female sausages, then your a better man than I am.

  23. Quoth the Raven 23

    vto and Brett – God you PC righties are at again. It’s just a game. They’re labour party politicians and a liberal. Eddie did’t say anything about them he was just drawing our attention to what the democrats are doing. Bigotry and ignorance vto – get a bloody grip it’s just a fucking game.

  24. QoT 24

    Ah, Brett. Your ingrained prejudice is when you instantly assume a “grill the politicians” NZ-version would have to involve Helen Clark and thus of course be called Bitch Watch.

    It’s fascinating how you managed to ignore the facts that the Aussie game features a female politician, AND multiple politicians – either that or you actually wanted to imply that the only NZ politicians in need of a good grilling were the women.

    Gendered language, mate. It’s a dead giveaway every time.

  25. QOT:

    The sausage could be from Iran, Israel, USA, Canada or even Qatar, the sausage could be straight or gay, black or white, country or rap, liberal or conservative, the sausage could be a cards fan or a steelers fan, or it could just be some pigs guts for all that I care.

    My point is, if kiwiblog had a cartoon like that featuring Aunty Helen, you guys would be up in arms.

    My only problem with it, is that its not that funny, my sense of humor runs deeper than a sausage with a politician’s face on it.

  26. Quoth the Raven 26

    I think this sums up Brett perfectly.

  27. Personal insults huh, I guess it goes down well when all the socialist students are having a debate at the arts centre, it doesnt work as well on a political blog though.

  28. Quoth the Raven 28

    Brett I’m not above personal insults and your not above getting them and and as we’ve all seen your comments on this and other blogs over time I think you should think about glass houses and stones or just being a hypocritical idiot.

  29. QOR

    My comments on this blog and others are sweet and nice, well maybe not, but i would never call another poster a retard, like some do here. I may call certain people in the public spotlight that, but not posters.

  30. QoT 30

    if kiwiblog had a cartoon like that featuring Aunty Helen

    Oh, Brett. Changing our hypothetical situation now, are we? You didn’t say “a cartoon like that”, you specifically stated it would be called “Bitch Watch”.

    Try reading the responses people address to you sometime.

  31. Ari 31

    My point is, if kiwiblog had a cartoon like that featuring Aunty Helen, you guys would be up in arms.

    If kiwiblog had a cartoon like that featuring Helen Clark, it’d probably involve a lot more woman-hating than this one does.

  32. Peter Burns 32

    Is Aunty Helen really a woman? I hate to think about that, however I am a good bastard.

  33. Ari 33

    See, that’s exactly the sort of thing I’m talking about.

    Fortunately, you don’t decide who “gets to be” a woman and who doesn’t, Peter.

  34. QoT 34

    Ari – don’t you love it when someone comes along and makes your point for you, apparently without realising it?

  35. Tigger 35

    If Kiwiblog had a game like this when Helen was PM it would be called Bitchwatch and be about Helen herself and be totally personal and have a misogynistic bent to it. And if that happened, yes I for one would be up in arms about it. And rightly so.

    If they had a game like this that exposed Labour’s inadequacies as a whole I’d probably have had a laugh and play it.

  36. wil 36

    Yes Tigger that’s the thing about Kiwibog, full of iRednecks, simply a web version of the dumbest talkback radio.

  37. RednecK?

    You know the actual term for redneck used to be nice one, it meant you have spent all day working in the sun, thus having a redneck.

  38. Felix 38

    That’s fascinating Brett but now it means you’re a fuckwit. Keep up.

  39. Well spoken Felix!

  40. Matthew Pilott 40

    Ye gods that was a good comment.

  41. Brett. redneck referred to Yeomen in colonial America, who got red necks from working in the feilds. They were reknowned for their conservative, backward, and bigoted ways, which is where the modern meaning has evolved from.

  42. I perfer the old meaning, it was nicer for the working man, someone the left use to care about.

  43. The left does care for the working man, not for the bigot.

  44. I dont care for bigot’s either.

    Steve: The modern term for redneck 1920-1950’s were used to describe those in the farming community.

    It then became associated with the bigots, but in the past ten or twenty years, the term is coming back to the nicer side of things.

    It really is just a term for working class people now.

    By the way not everybody from down south in the usa is a backwards bigot, thats just a stereotype that some people use.

  45. Matthew Pilott 45

    It really is just a term for working class people now.

    Now you’re just making things up. Well you always were actually, the connotation was never on the ‘hard working’ aspect of red-necked folk, but on their bigoted views. You’re in fairyland Brett.

  46. Pilott:

    Actually, the word has been taken back, its a cliche that people from southern America are all bigoted, the redneck term in the USA is moving slowly away from people who are racist and back to the hard working folk who aren’t bigoted.

    Seriously you guys really need to visit the states, the country and its people isnt really like what you think it is.

  47. vto 47

    Sheesh, what a battle! 10 points for effort there BD.

    I love the way people claim back bigot labels like rednex thrown at them by other bigots.

  48. Matthew Pilott 48

    What’s that vto, if you call someone a redneck does that make you a bigot? Please tell me you’re not regressing to ‘takes one to know one’? Because that would also make you a bigot…


    Maybe you need to get away (physically or mentally) from the States, the meaning of the word ‘redneck’ is not purely decided by those who live in 11 or so states. Or do you think Wil was suggesting the more bigoted commentors on kiwiblog are all Appalachian folk?

  49. When people think of redneck, they think of southern Americans.

  50. Ari 50

    I dont care for bigot’s either.

    Now now man, a little bit of self-love won’t hurt. 😉

  51. Felix 51

    When people think of redneck, they think of southern Americans.

    Not me. I think of retards from Canterbury.

  52. Ari 52

    When people think of redneck, they think of southern Americans.

    I know a lot of really nice southern Americans and I definitely don’t think that on the whole they’re bigoted. Some of them have values that I vehemently disagree with, but that doesn’t mean they’re never fun to chat to or anything. And liberal southern USA.cans are just awesome.

    It’s just that the bad apples tend to be very vocal and influential down there, and they take a decent group of people along for the ride even though they don’t all really want to be as hateful as some of their role models are.

  53. ARI:

    Yes most southern Americans are lovely people and it is just the few bad apples that people judge them on.

  54. Matthew Pilott 54

    When people think of redneck, they think of southern Americans

    So you do think Wil was suggesting all commenters on Kiwiblog are online southern Americans?

    Clearly a logical thought process Brett. *claps slowly*

    Here’s a novel thought – when someone uses the term ‘redneck’ they’re not judging most southern Americans based upon the behaviour of a few bad apples, but merely using a term to describe other people who are not southern Americans.

    I’ll try and make it simple for you, even though I know you’ll find a way to dumb your way out of it:

    “Brett, you are a redneck*”.

    Look at that comment, Brett. According to your logic, I am therefore calling you a southern American. I am not calling you a southern American. Your logic is flawed. I am suggesting you share some properties attributed to what being a ‘redneck’ is. Those properties are not, repeat NOT, that you are a southern American.

    *comment for Brett’s educational purposes only.

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