Caption Competition
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- Date published:
3:30 pm, June 19th, 2009 - 58 comments
Categories: caption contest, humour -
Tags: john key, Rodney Hide
58 comments on “Caption Competition ”
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Buzz from the Beehive Two speeches delivered by Foreign Affairs Minister Winston Peters at Anzac Day ceremonies in Turkey are the only new posts on the government’s official website since the PM announced his Cabinet shake-up. In one of the speeches, Peters stated the obvious: we live in a troubled ...2 hours ago - This is how I roll over
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- 'Lacks attention to detail and is creating double-standards.'
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- Missed opportunity but NZ will surely one day recognise the right to a sustainable environmentNew Zealand has today missed the opportunity to uphold the right to a clean, healthy, and sustainable environment, says James Shaw after his member’s bill was voted down in its first reading. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Don’t cut our lunches – clear message sent to GovernmentTens of thousands of people are demanding the Government commits to fully funding free and healthy school lunches. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Govt makes U-turn on Suicide Prevention OfficeLabour welcomes the Government’s U-turn on the closure of the Suicide Prevention Office, says Labour Mental Health spokesperson Ingrid Leary. ...2 weeks ago
- CCC issues warning over further climate delayToday’s advice from the Climate Change Commission paints a sobering reality of the challenge we face in combating climate change, especially in light of recent Government policy announcements. ...3 weeks ago
- Luxon targets lame and lousy example of leadershipIf talk is cheap, Chris Luxon’s “targets” are bankrupt. ...3 weeks ago
- Luxon targets are lousy example of leadershipIf talk is cheap, Chris Luxon’s “targets” are bankrupt. ...3 weeks ago
- Release: Commitment to disability communities missing from Govt prioritiesMinister for Disability Issues Penny Simmonds appears to have delayed a report back to Cabinet on the progress New Zealand is making against international obligations for disabled New Zealanders. ...3 weeks ago
- Anzac Commemorative Address, Buttes New British Cemetery Belgium
Ambassador Millar, Burgemeester, Vandepitte, Excellencies, military representatives, distinguished guests, ladies and gentlemen – good morning and welcome to this sacred Anzac Day dawn service. It is an honour to be here on behalf of the Government and people of New Zealand at Buttes New British Cemetery, Polygon Wood – a deeply ...2 hours ago - Anzac Commemorative Address – NZ National Service, Chunuk BairDistinguished guests - It is an honour to return once again to this site which, as the resting place for so many of our war-dead, has become a sacred place for generations of New Zealanders. Our presence here and at the other special spaces of Gallipoli is made ...20 hours ago
- Anzac Commemorative Address – Dawn Service, Gallipoli, TürkiyeMai ia tawhiti pamamao, te moana nui a Kiwa, kua tae whakaiti mai matou, ki to koutou papa whenua. No koutou te tapuwae, no matou te tapuwae, kua honoa pumautia. Ko nga toa kua hinga nei, o te Waipounamu, o te Ika a Maui, he okioki tahi me o ...1 day ago
- PM announces changes to portfoliosPaul Goldsmith will take on responsibility for the Media and Communications portfolio, while Louise Upston will pick up the Disability Issues portfolio, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon announced today. “Our Government is relentlessly focused on getting New Zealand back on track. As issues change in prominence, I plan to adjust Ministerial ...2 days ago
- New catch limits for unique fishery areasRecreational catch limits will be reduced in areas of Fiordland and the Chatham Islands to help keep those fisheries healthy and sustainable, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones says. The lower recreational daily catch limits for a range of finfish and shellfish species caught in the Fiordland Marine Area and ...2 days ago
- Minister welcomes hydrogen milestoneEnergy Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed an important milestone in New Zealand’s hydrogen future, with the opening of the country’s first network of hydrogen refuelling stations in Wiri. “I want to congratulate the team at Hiringa Energy and its partners K one W one (K1W1), Mitsui & Co New Zealand ...3 days ago
- Urgent changes to system through first RMA Amendment BillThe coalition Government is delivering on its commitment to improve resource management laws and give greater certainty to consent applicants, with a Bill to amend the Resource Management Act (RMA) expected to be introduced to Parliament next month. RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop has today outlined the first RMA Amendment ...3 days ago
- Overseas decommissioning models consideredOverseas models for regulating the oil and gas sector, including their decommissioning regimes, are being carefully scrutinised as a potential template for New Zealand’s own sector, Resources Minister Shane Jones says. The Coalition Government is focused on rebuilding investor confidence in New Zealand’s energy sector as it looks to strengthen ...3 days ago
- Release of North Island Severe Weather Event InquiryEmergency Management and Recovery Minister Mark Mitchell has today released the Report of the Government Inquiry into the response to the North Island Severe Weather Events. “The report shows that New Zealand’s emergency management system is not fit-for-purpose and there are some significant gaps we need to address,” Mr Mitchell ...3 days ago
- Justice Minister to attend Human Rights CouncilJustice Minister Paul Goldsmith is today travelling to Europe where he’ll update the United Nations Human Rights Council on the Government’s work to restore law and order. “Attending the Universal Periodic Review in Geneva provides us with an opportunity to present New Zealand’s human rights progress, priorities, and challenges, while ...4 days ago
- Patterson reopens world’s largest wool scouring facilityAssociate Agriculture Minister, Mark Patterson, formally reopened the world’s largest wool processing facility today in Awatoto, Napier, following a $50 million rebuild and refurbishment project. “The reopening of this facility will significantly lift the economic opportunities available to New Zealand’s wool sector, which already accounts for 20 per cent of ...4 days ago
- Speech to the Southland Otago Regional Engineering Collective Summit, 18 April 2024Hon Andrew Bayly, Minister for Small Business and Manufacturing At the Southland Otago Regional Engineering Collective (SOREC) Summit, 18 April, Dunedin Ngā mihi nui, Ko Andrew Bayly aho, Ko Whanganui aho Good Afternoon and thank you for inviting me to open your summit today. I am delighted ...4 days ago
- Government to introduce revised Three Strikes lawThe Government is delivering on its commitment to bring back the Three Strikes legislation, Associate Justice Minister Nicole McKee announced today. “Our Government is committed to restoring law and order and enforcing appropriate consequences on criminals. We are making it clear that repeat serious violent or sexual offending is not ...4 days ago
- New diplomatic appointmentsForeign Minister Winston Peters has today announced four new diplomatic appointments for New Zealand’s overseas missions. “Our diplomats have a vital role in maintaining and protecting New Zealand’s interests around the world,” Mr Peters says. “I am pleased to announce the appointment of these senior diplomats from the ...4 days ago
- Humanitarian support for Ethiopia and SomaliaNew Zealand is contributing NZ$7 million to support communities affected by severe food insecurity and other urgent humanitarian needs in Ethiopia and Somalia, Foreign Minister Rt Hon Winston Peters announced today. “Over 21 million people are in need of humanitarian assistance across Ethiopia, with a further 6.9 million people ...4 days ago
- Arts Minister congratulates Mataaho CollectiveMinister for Arts, Culture and Heritage Paul Goldsmith is congratulating Mataaho Collective for winning the Golden Lion for best participant in the main exhibition at the Venice Biennale. "Congratulations to the Mataaho Collective for winning one of the world's most prestigious art prizes at the Venice Biennale. “It is good ...5 days ago
- Supporting better financial outcomes for KiwisThe Government is reforming financial services to improve access to home loans and other lending, and strengthen customer protections, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly and Housing Minister Chris Bishop announced today. “Our coalition Government is committed to rebuilding the economy and making life simpler by cutting red tape. We are ...5 days ago
- Trade relationship with China remains strong“China remains a strong commercial opportunity for Kiwi exporters as Chinese businesses and consumers continue to value our high-quality safe produce,” Trade and Agriculture Minister Todd McClay says. Mr McClay has returned to New Zealand following visits to Beijing, Harbin and Shanghai where he met ministers, governors and mayors and engaged in trade and agricultural events with the New ...5 days ago
- PM’s South East Asia mission does the businessPrime Minister Christopher Luxon has completed a successful trip to Singapore, Thailand and the Philippines, deepening relationships and capitalising on opportunities. Mr Luxon was accompanied by a business delegation and says the choice of countries represents the priority the New Zealand Government places on South East Asia, and our relationships in ...6 days ago
- $41m to support clean energy in South East AsiaNew Zealand is demonstrating its commitment to reducing global greenhouse emissions, and supporting clean energy transition in South East Asia, through a contribution of NZ$41 million (US$25 million) in climate finance to the Asian Development Bank (ADB)-led Energy Transition Mechanism (ETM). Prime Minister Christopher Luxon and Climate Change Minister Simon Watts announced ...1 week ago
- Minister releases Fast-track stakeholder listThe Government is today releasing a list of organisations who received letters about the Fast-track applications process, says RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop. “Recently Ministers and agencies have received a series of OIA requests for a list of organisations to whom I wrote with information on applying to have a ...1 week ago
- Judicial appointments announcedAttorney-General Judith Collins today announced the appointment of Wellington Barrister David Jonathan Boldt as a Judge of the High Court, and the Honourable Justice Matthew Palmer as a Judge of the Court of Appeal. Justice Boldt graduated with an LLB from Victoria University of Wellington in 1990, and also holds ...1 week ago
- Education Minister heads to major teaching summit in SingaporeEducation Minister Erica Stanford will lead the New Zealand delegation at the 2024 International Summit on the Teaching Profession (ISTP) held in Singapore. The delegation includes representatives from the Post Primary Teachers’ Association (PPTA) Te Wehengarua and the New Zealand Educational Institute (NZEI) Te Riu Roa. The summit is co-hosted ...1 week ago
- Value of stopbank project proven during cycloneA stopbank upgrade project in Tairawhiti partly funded by the Government has increased flood resilience for around 7000ha of residential and horticultural land so far, Regional Development Minister Shane Jones says. Mr Jones today attended a dawn service in Gisborne to mark the end of the first stage of the ...1 week ago
- Anzac commemorations, Türkiye relationship focus of visitForeign Affairs Minister Winston Peters will represent the Government at Anzac Day commemorations on the Gallipoli Peninsula next week and engage with senior representatives of the Turkish government in Istanbul. “The Gallipoli campaign is a defining event in our history. It will be a privilege to share the occasion ...1 week ago
- Minister to Europe for OECD meeting, Anzac DayScience, Innovation and Technology and Defence Minister Judith Collins will next week attend the OECD Science and Technology Ministerial conference in Paris and Anzac Day commemorations in Belgium. “Science, innovation and technology have a major role to play in rebuilding our economy and achieving better health, environmental and social outcomes ...1 week ago
- Comprehensive Partnership the goal for NZ and the PhilippinesPrime Minister Christopher Luxon held a bilateral meeting today with the President of the Philippines, Ferdinand Marcos Jr. The Prime Minister was accompanied by MP Paulo Garcia, the first Filipino to be elected to a legislature outside the Philippines. During today’s meeting, Prime Minister Luxon and President Marcos Jr discussed opportunities to ...1 week ago
- Government commits $20m to Westport flood protectionThe Government has announced that $20 million in funding will be made available to Westport to fund much needed flood protection around the town. This measure will significantly improve the resilience of the community, says Local Government Minister Simeon Brown. “The Westport community has already been allocated almost $3 million ...1 week ago
- Taupō takes pole positionThe Government is proud to support the first ever Repco Supercars Championship event in Taupō as up to 70,000 motorsport fans attend the Taupō International Motorsport Park this weekend, says Economic Development Minister Melissa Lee. “Anticipation for the ITM Taupō Super400 is huge, with tickets and accommodation selling out weeks ...1 week ago
- Cost of living support for low-income homeownersLocal Government Minister Simeon Brown has announced an increase to the Rates Rebate Scheme, putting money back into the pockets of low-income homeowners. “The coalition Government is committed to bringing down the cost of living for New Zealanders. That includes targeted support for those Kiwis who are doing things tough, such ...1 week ago
- Government backing mussel spat projectThe Coalition Government is investing in a project to boost survival rates of New Zealand mussels and grow the industry, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones has announced. “This project seeks to increase the resilience of our mussels and significantly boost the sector’s productivity,” Mr Jones says. “The project - ...1 week ago
- Government focused on getting people into workBenefit figures released today underscore the importance of the Government’s plan to rebuild the economy and have 50,000 fewer people on Jobseeker Support, Social Development and Employment Minister Louise Upston says. “Benefit numbers are still significantly higher than when National was last in government, when there was about 70,000 fewer ...1 week ago
- Clean energy key driver to reducing emissionsThe Government’s commitment to doubling New Zealand’s renewable energy capacity is backed by new data showing that clean energy has helped the country reach its lowest annual gross emissions since 1999, Climate Change Minister Simon Watts says. New Zealand’s latest Greenhouse Gas Inventory (1990-2022) published today, shows gross emissions fell ...1 week ago
- Earthquake-prone buildings review brought forwardThe Government is bringing the earthquake-prone building review forward, with work to start immediately, and extending the deadline for remediations by four years, Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk says. “Our Government is focused on rebuilding the economy. A key part of our plan is to cut red tape that ...1 week ago
- Thailand and NZ to agree to Strategic PartnershipPrime Minister Christopher Luxon and his Thai counterpart, Prime Minister Srettha Thavisin, have today agreed that New Zealand and the Kingdom of Thailand will upgrade the bilateral relationship to a Strategic Partnership by 2026. “New Zealand and Thailand have a lot to offer each other. We have a strong mutual desire to build ...1 week ago
- Government consults on extending coastal permits for portsRMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop and Transport Minister Simeon Brown have today announced the Coalition Government’s intention to extend port coastal permits for a further 20 years, providing port operators with certainty to continue their operations. “The introduction of the Resource Management Act in 1991 required ports to obtain coastal ...1 week ago
- Inflation coming down, but more work to doToday’s announcement that inflation is down to 4 per cent is encouraging news for Kiwis, but there is more work to be done - underlining the importance of the Government’s plan to get the economy back on track, acting Finance Minister Chris Bishop says. “Inflation is now at 4 per ...1 week ago
- School attendance restored as a priority in health adviceRefreshed health guidance released today will help parents and schools make informed decisions about whether their child needs to be in school, addressing one of the key issues affecting school attendance, says Associate Education Minister David Seymour. In recent years, consistently across all school terms, short-term illness or medical reasons ...1 week ago
- Unnecessary bureaucracy cut in oceans sectorOceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones is streamlining high-level oceans management while maintaining a focus on supporting the sector’s role in the export-led recovery of the economy. “I am working to realise the untapped potential of our fishing and aquaculture sector. To achieve that we need to be smarter with ...1 week ago
- Opinion: It’s time for an arts and creative sector strategyI was initially resistant to the idea often suggested to me that the Government should deliver an arts strategy. The whole point of the arts and creativity is that people should do whatever the hell they want, unbound by the dictates of politicians in Wellington. Peter Jackson, Kiri Te Kanawa, Eleanor ...1 week ago
- The government's 20 trips abroad in April
The government appears committed to overseas visits with 14 ministers and MPs in 18 countries this month. ...29 mins ago - Government unveils fetal alcohol guidelines, plan for diagnosis trainingThe government is promising to step up the response to Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, promising to boost diagnoses and raise awareness. ...55 mins ago
- Labor facing heavy defeat in Queensland, but faring better in federal polls
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Adrian Beaumont, Election Analyst (Psephologist) at The Conversation; and Honorary Associate, School of Mathematics and Statistics, The University of Melbourne The Queensland state election will be held in October. A YouGov poll for The Courier Mail, conducted April 9–17 from a sample ...1 hour ago - Why the potential for another Donald Trump presidency is making Iran very nervousSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Amin Naeni, PhD candidate at Alfred Deakin Institute for Citizenship and Globalisation, Deakin University There’s been much talk in recent months about what a possible second Donald Trump presidency in the United States could mean for Europe, Russia’s war in Ukraine, the ...1 hour ago
- ‘The worst piece of law proposed since 1979’: Reactions to the Fast-track Approvals Bill
A brief round-up of submissions on the controversial proposed law. This is an excerpt from our weekly environmental newsletter Future Proof. Sign up here. Last week, submissions on the controversial Fast-track Approvals Bill closed just hours after the government released a list of stakeholder organisations who were sent letters advising how they could ...2 hours ago - The Friday Poem: ‘Cereal giving’ by Robin PeaceA poem from Robin Peace’s new collection Detritus of Empire: feather / grass / rock. Cereal giving I see a woman’s hands, see her curious hands break a stalk as she walks through the tall prairie, the savannah, the steppe, wherever it was. See her idly bite the grass that ...3 hours ago
- The Unity Books bestseller chart for the week ending April 26The only published and available best-selling indie book chart in New Zealand is the top 10 sales list recorded every week at Unity Books’ stores in High St, Auckland, and Willis St, Wellington. AUCKLAND 1 Hemingway’s Goblet by Dermot Ross (Mary Egan Publishing, $38) A handsomely produced (debossed cover, lovely ...3 hours ago
- Te Rūnanga O Ngāti Whātua Welcomes Commissioner's Decision Regarding Awataha Marae
The Commissioner's decision validates the longstanding efforts of the local community and ensures that Awataha Marae will be managed to serve the needs of the local community, particularly for hosting tangihanga. ...4 hours ago - We reconstructed landscapes that greeted the first humans in Australia around 65,000 years agoSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Tristan Salles, Associate professor, University of Sydney Examples of Australian landscapes. Unsplash Seventy thousand years ago, the sea level was much lower than today. Australia, along with New Guinea and Tasmania, formed a connected landmass known as Sahul. Around this time – ...4 hours ago
- What do we lose when our old suburbs disappear?Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Felicity Castagna, Lecturer, Creative Writing, Western Sydney University Day Day Market, Parramatta Photo: Garry Trinh I live on the edge of Parramatta, Australia’s fastest-growing city, on the kind of old-fashioned suburban street that has 1950s fibros constructed in the post-war housing boom, ...4 hours ago
- Does fighting inflation always lead to recession? What 60 years of NZ data can tell usSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michael Ryan, Teaching Fellow in Economics, University of Waikato GettyImages fatido/Getty Images There is an ongoing global debate over whether the high inflation seen in the aftermath of the COVID-19 pandemic can be lowered without a recession. New Zealand is not ...4 hours ago
- After spending $700,000 on pins for Covid-19 workers, department now cutting costsA government office that set aside millions for lapel pins for pandemic workers is now looking to cut back on spending. ...4 hours ago
- ‘A hell of a lot of fun’: Our reviews of Chris Isaak’s dazzling Auckland showThe ‘Wicked Game’ heartthrob is in his late 60s now. That didn’t stop him putting on a lively, goofy and very sparkly show. Apart from ‘Wicked Game’, which graces a sultry playlist of mine simply called 💋, my last sustained Chris Isaak listening session took place when I was about ...5 hours ago
- The Week in Politics: Days of drama and demotionsAnalysis - Two ministers were stripped of portfolios in a warning to Cabinet, drama broke out at the Waitangi Tribunal, and the gang patch ban bill ran into opposition. ...5 hours ago
- Hear me out: All I want is a TrueBliss T-shirtTara Ward makes an impassioned plea for some vital pop culture merch. In April 1999, I became obsessed with a new reality television show called Popstars. Every Tuesday night, five strangers transformed into music royalty before my very eyes as Joe, Keri, Carly, Erika and Megan were chosen to form ...6 hours ago
- Solemn ANZAC dawn service at PNG’s Isurava battle memorialPNG Post-Courier In the early hours of ANZAC Day, aerial photographs captured an impressive gathering of Australians and Papua New Guineans at Isurava in the Northern (Oro) Province. The solemn dawn service yesterday was held at a site steeped in history, where some of the fiercest battles of World War ...6 hours ago
- Political editors panel: A reshuffle and the fast trackListen - RNZ's Jo Moir and NZ Herald's Claire Trevett dissect the demotion of two ministers and the PM's response on Morning Report. ...7 hours ago
- After-hours clinics on verge of collapse in some regionsOverworked GPs have signalled they can no longer cover, while funding is falling short. ...7 hours ago
- Oranga Tamariki Axes Specialist Māori Roles, Weakens Commitment To Te Ao MāoriThe PSA is shocked that Oranga Tamariki has used the cost cutting drive to downgrade its commitment to Te Ao Māori and remove many specialist Māori roles. ...7 hours ago
- China’s money only goes so far – Kokoda shows why history binds PNG and Australia in a far deepe...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Ian Kemish, Adjunct Professor, School of Historical and Philosophical Inquiry, The University of Queensland There can be no more powerful symbol of the relationship between Australia and Papua New Guinea than the prime ministers of these neighbouring countries walking together on the ...8 hours ago
- We spoke to young people about sexual consent. They understand the concept, but don’t always ask i...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Andrea Waling, ARC DECRA Senior Research Fellow in Sex & Sexuality, La Trobe University BAZA Production/Shutterstock Sexual consent has been a major focus in Australia for the past few years. In early 2022 the federal government mandated consent education in ...8 hours ago
- Longer-lasting ozone holes over Antarctica expose seal pups and penguin chicks to much more UVSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Sharon Robinson, Distinguished Professor and Deputy Director of ARC Securing Antarctica’s Environmental Future (SAEF), University of Wollongong, University of Wollongong Andrew Netherwood Over the last 25 years, the ozone hole which forming over Antarctica each spring has started to shrink. ...8 hours ago
- Granting legal ‘personhood’ to nature is a growing movement – can it stem biodiversity loss?Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Viktoria Kahui, Senior Lecturer in Environmental Economics, University of Otago Getty Images/Amy Toensing Biodiversity is declining at rates unprecedented in human history. This suggests the ways we currently use to manage our natural environment are failing. One emerging concept focuses on ...8 hours ago
- Will checking character references really help you find the best candidate for a job?Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Timothy Colin Bednall, Associate Professor in Management, Swinburne University of Technology marvent/Shutterstock Finding the best person to fill a position can be tough, from drafting a job ad to producing a shortlist of top interview candidates. Employers typically consider information from ...8 hours ago
- A guide to Wellington’s best BYO restaurantsWondering where to host your next BYO? Whether its a small gathering or a massive party, we’ve got some recommendations. I was first introduced to the concept of BYOs at Dunedin’s India Gardens, a legendary but sadly defunct establishment, which purveyed enormous quantities of mango chicken to Aotearoa’s drunkest future ...8 hours ago
- New rock art discoveries in Eastern Sudan tell a tale of ancient cattle, the ‘green Sahara’ and ...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Julien Cooper, Honorary Lecturer, Department of History and Archaeology, Macquarie University Julien Cooper The hyper-arid desert of Eastern Sudan, the Atbai Desert, seems like an unlikely place to find evidence of ancient cattle herders. But in this dry environment, my new ...8 hours ago
- Paul Goldsmith starts as new Media Minister replacing sacked Melissa LeeThe media industry is "under pressure", Paul Goldsmith says, but he plans to plot a path forward as he takes up the difficult role. ...9 hours ago
- Media industry sheds few tears for minister LeeThe sector says it’s hopeful her replacement Paul Goldsmith will be able to throw it a lifeline, after six months with a minister deemed missing in action, writes Catherine McGregor in this excerpt from The Bulletin, The Spinoff’s morning news round-up. To receive The Bulletin in full each weekday, sign ...9 hours ago
- Is NZ bringing in 'Indonesian coal every month to keep the lights on'?Analysis: The Resource Minister said it, but is it true and why does it matter? ...9 hours ago
- More spending cuts needed to stablise government finances – economistThe government can't just rely on axing public sector jobs and has to do more to cut spending, says the chief economist at a free market think tank. ...9 hours ago
- The government's 22 trips abroad in AprilThe government appears committed to overseas visits with 14 miniters and MPs in 18 countries this month. ...11 hours ago
- Loopholes will be exploited in new vape rules – expertsThere is no doubt vape manufacturers will find and exploit loopholes in new regulations, say marketing experts. ...11 hours ago
- Aotearoa Party Merges With Rock The Vote NZ Party And John Alcock Elected As Party LeaderRock The Vote NZ, known for its advocacy for minor party unity and its role within the Freedoms NZ Coalition during the 2023 General Election, celebrates this merger as a strategic enhancement of its operational strength and outreach. ...11 hours ago
- After spending $2m on pins for Covid-19 workers, department now cutting costsGovernment department that spent $2m on lapel pins to honour Covid-19 workers is now looking to make cuts. ...11 hours ago
- An afternoon at the Repair Café, where everyday objects get a second lifeNearly everyone has experienced the frustration of something you use breaking and being difficult or expensive to fix. Proposed legislation could change that. It’s been raining on and off all Sunday afternoon but people are lining up outside a building in a corner of Gribblehirst Park in Sandringham, Auckland. In ...12 hours ago
- Dreaming of my not-wedding dayWhat does a forever relationship look like when you don’t believe in marriage? And how do you celebrate it? This essay is part of our Sunday Essay series, made possible thanks to the support of Creative New Zealand. I’m going to do it, right now. I’m going to say ...12 hours ago
- The outlook for engineering specialists looks bleak
Opinion: Delays getting to the starting line of new programmes of work are causing significant disruption across the sector The post The outlook for engineering specialists looks bleak appeared first on Newsroom. ...12 hours ago - Eliza wants more than a last tango in ParisIt’s not that long ago Eliza McCartney was seriously wondering if the Paris Olympics would be her pole vaulting swansong. After years of being hounded by injury after injury, the Rio Olympics bronze medallist was still confident she would compete at her second Olympics in Paris in July, unless something ...12 hours ago
- This week’s bestselling books – April 26FICTION 1 Take Two by Danielle Hawkins (Allen & Unwin, $36.99) There’s commercial fiction, like this book, and then there’s quality fiction, quality writers, quality literature; the forthcoming Auckland Writers Festival is full of quality, and ReadingRoom has two tickets to give away to the following events: Paul Lynch (Dublin ...12 hours ago
- Newsroom daily quiz, Friday 26 AprilLoading…(function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){var ql=document.querySelectorAll('A[quiz],DIV[quiz],A[data-quiz],DIV[data-quiz]'); if(ql){if(ql.length){for(var k=0;k<ql.length;k++){ql[k].id='quiz-embed-'+k;ql[k].href="javascript:var i=document.getElementById('quiz-embed-"+k+"');try{qz.startQuiz(i)}catch(e){i.start=1;i.style.cursor='wait';i.style.opacity='0.5'};void(0);"}}};i['QP']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){(i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o),m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m)})(window,document,'script','https://take.quiz-maker.com/3012/CDN/quiz-embed-v1.js','qp'); Got a good quiz question? Send Newsroom your questions. The post Newsroom daily quiz, Friday 26 April appeared first on Newsroom. ...12 hours ago
- On the fringes of the Gallipoli battlefieldYou can’t have missed the Gallipoli story as the movies, documentaries, essays and books capture what it was like for New Zealand troops in their eight-month campaign on the Peninsula. But this Anzac Day the Auckland War Memorial Museum has published a book that sheds light on a little-known aspect of the ...12 hours ago
- Govt repeats mistakes of Muldoon’s authoritarian excessesOpinion: It needs wiser leadership to learn from the past to have a balanced planning and resource management law The post Govt repeats mistakes of Muldoon’s authoritarian excesses appeared first on Newsroom. ...12 hours ago
- Debt clifftop guardrail and ambulance removed at same timeIt will be soon be easier to get lending, but harder to get help for debt The post Debt clifftop guardrail and ambulance removed at same time appeared first on Newsroom. ...12 hours ago
- Just Life exit from NZX puts listed company regulation under microscopeJust Life’s chief executive says the exchange’s regulatory burden outweighs any benefits to small business The post Just Life exit from NZX puts listed company regulation under microscope appeared first on Newsroom. ...12 hours ago
- Prime Minister jumps the gun in ThailandThe Prime Minister has committed to resuming direct flights to Thailand. But it’s not a promise he will be able to deliver on anytime soon. The post Prime Minister jumps the gun in Thailand appeared first on Newsroom. ...12 hours ago
- Daily crossword, Friday 26 AprilThe post Daily crossword, Friday 26 April appeared first on Newsroom. ...12 hours ago
- Grattan on Friday: Social media companies can’t be immune from the need for a social licenceSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michelle Grattan, Professorial Fellow, University of Canberra In the free-for-all between the Australian government and Big Tech boss Elon Musk this week, the government had to be on a winner. Most people would have little sympathy with Musk’s vociferous opposition to ...18 hours ago
- Nelson Mandela’s grandson joins Gaza flotilla, slams ‘genocide complicit’ leadersAsia Pacific Report Chief Mandla Mandela, a member of the National Assembly of South Africa and Nelson Mandela’s grandson, has joined the Freedom Flotilla in istanbul as the ships prepare to sail for Gaza, reports Kia Ora Gaza. Mandela is also the ambassador for the Global Campaign to Return to ...21 hours ago
- 200 journalists ‘targeted’ over their environment reporting, warns RSFPacific Media Watch Journalists who report on environmental issues are encountering growing difficulties in many parts of the world, reports Reporters Without Borders. According to the tally kept by RSF, 200 journalists have been subjected to threats and physical violence, including murder, in the past 10 years because they were ...22 hours ago
- Bryce Edwards Analysis – Luxon’s ruthless show of strength is perfect for our angry eraAnalysis by Dr Bryce Edwards, Democracy Project (https://democracyproject.nz) Political scientist, Dr Bryce Edwards. Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has surprised everyone with his ruthlessness in sacking two of his ministers from their crucial portfolios. Removing ministers for poor performance after only five months in the job just doesn’t normally happen in ...23 hours ago
- David Seymour: Auckland Grammar School ANZAC Day AddressThis speech was delivered to Auckland Grammar students, family, Old Boys, and staff on ANZAC Day 2024 by David Seymour ’97, MP for Epsom. ...24 hours ago
- David Seymour: Auckland Grammar School ANZAC Day AddressThis speech was delivered to Auckland Grammar students, family, Old Boys, and staff on ANZAC Day 2024 by David Seymour ’97, MP for Epsom. ...24 hours ago
- Inflation is slowly falling while student debt is climbing: 6 graphs that explain the CPISource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By John Hawkins, Senior Lecturer, Canberra School of Politics, Economics and Society, University of Canberra BagzhanSadvakassov/Upsplash, CC BY-SA Australia’s inflation rate has fallen for the fifth successive quarter, and it’s now less than half of what it was back in late 2022. ...24 hours ago
- Response To ANZAC Day ProtestsACT's Rural Communities and Veterans spokesman Mark Cameron responds to cancellations and protests of ANZAC Day commemorations in Wellington. He says, "These pitiful attempts to detract from ANZAC Day are not at all indicative of the feelings of mainstream ...1 day ago
- Claimants want Children's Minister to front up kanohi ki te kanohi (face to face)Waitangi Tribunal claimants will appeal a High Court decision to overturn a summons order from the Tribunal for Children's Minister Karen Chhour. ...1 day ago
- ‘It bucked our lads up wonderfully’: the lightning-quick battle that marked the birth of the US-...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Meighen McCrae, Associate Professor of Strategic & Defence Studies, Australian National University American and Australian stretcher bearers working together near the front line during the Battle of Hamel in 1918. Australian War Memorial While the AUKUS alliance is new, the Australian-American partnership ...1 day ago
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As he revealed the full extent of his real plans for Auckland, John finally realised just how bonkers Rodney really was.
“That’s what I said, yes. Pixies will do all the cleaning jobs. You know the little blue ones, about so big. Pixies.”
This is the size of the budget we have to pull this thing off.
“Who’s the more foolish – the fool, or the fool who follows him?”
Inside a Key thought bubble…
nothing
vto,
Not ‘lol’ ?
L
“Yeah, those $14 million tiles are about this big – same as John has in his pool house”
Excitingly, we calculate John will stay awake this long before finally nodding off completely in preparation for the next election.
Tranasitional costs?
Miniscule I tell you, miniscule!
Hide: I clapped my hands like this and the councils were all gone along with all their assets.
Key: Bugger me is that Richard Worth
What! Railraoding democracy?
I can do it because my cajunes are this big!!!
The left just aren’t funny.
Was that an attempt at a joke from the right?
To the right – you’re just disappointed at the small number of sexually themed jokes.
I can tell you how a right wing blog would have done this. The first caption would have been a joke about Key thinking ‘if that’s how big Rodney’s penis is then I’d better lube up good’ and the every other post would have consisted of ‘LOL’ and various comments about how much they hate ‘bummers’ or wondering whether Key being Jewish is circumcised.
This is how far Mallard got trying to do something about the Waterfront.
John’s dissatisfaction of Rodney’s “fishing” analogies had become unbearable.
Dear god. What’s he going to say this time?
We lost the World Cup because he didnt have his fingers up.
Hide I have ten Fingers I counted them this morning.
Key Where is Bill when I need him?
Yeah so there I was looking for the gerbil Gerry reckoned he’s sat on, and it was a pretty awful sight. There was a bicycle, a briefcase, and that guy that went missing from Bellamy’s – but no sign of the gerbil.
I think maybe Gerry was having me on. My hands stunk for weeks.
ahahahahha
catcha: handling
I do like Rod’s tie. I wonder if he will like mine? Perhaps if I wore the one my son gave me. Hey Rodders!”
Hey catchpa will do: “Margaretta checks.” Ha!
When I’m finished, the city council will have this many staff.
yip sir roger sticks both his arms up my arse,and we perform a little ditty called”puppetry of the dick head”.
Rodders: And John tells me caught a fish this big in Taupo.
Jonners: Wish I was still there …
.. and Richard Worth’s is only this big, so John sacked him for false advertising …
Rodney explaining the latest Roy Morgan Poll, and how he is gaining in popularity.
How long till my head looks like that
—-
Sprout I know this is a left-wing blog but one of these days you have to give us a caption contest with a leftie in it.
The best way to discipline the little brats is to smack them from both sides of the head like this.
So I say’s to John here, You take both palms, (the non hairy side of the hand), and you rub rub rub, there, all clean. I learnt that in bible class.
Look, it’s not complicated. I’ll be playing Curly, John here is Moe, and we figure we put a fright wig on Richard Worth and he could pass for Larry.
Jeez- Crusher is right. His neck IS wider than his head.
Yes I do know ‘transitional’ has more than 10 letters and not everyone understands what it means.
or how many more than 10
or which two they are
or for that matter how spell it…….Dohl
Why did I let Rhino loose on Auckland? If he doesn’t shut up, I’ll have to go back to money trading in 2011.
oh for f@*k s sake Wodney, you’ve taken your eye off the ball again!
Richard was THAT big so that’s why he had to go.
Did we really put this guy in charge of Auckland Local Government review? Who is responsible for this? Why wasn’t I told? Did I read that paper?
There goes my future! I didn’t know Rodney and Roger were so unpopular!
my latest idea to increase productivity is to steal public assets then charge usurious rates for the use of those assets. brilliant eh
Yes John I can assure you there are no skeletons in Richard’s closet and there are none in mine. Yeah. Right (wing )
“Mine is this big, well it would be if I had one”
We were this close to getting away with this super-city nonsense — if it wasn’t for those pesky, concerned citizens. Isn’t that right John.. John… John…?
Repressed psychopathic urges in deeply flawed males often present only on the left of the face and can be detected by covering the right-hand features of candid portraits, as in the now-classic “terror-murderous intent” study above. The consequent tragic events and demise of the ill-fated Key-Hide government confirmed the theory and led to yet another Nobel prize for the illustrious professor ak.
Journal of psychology: vol.11, 2013
“I have long dream’d of such a kind of man,
So surfeit-swell’d, so old and so profane;
But, being awaked, I do despise my dream.”
“Oh my god so it was Rodney that stole my shiny gold tie, all I could find to wear this morning was this once with funny “pinko” spots on it. Is someone trying to tell me something ? “
What IS that thing crawling out of Rodney’s ear?
Just watch this.
I just clap my hands and he jumps.
Look a privatised WaterCare Services will be so efficient, this empty glass will always be full to overflowing.
“I see a fly’s just landed on him. Should I? Well, it worked for that other guy…”
“You know, he does look like a mudguard, shiny on top and shitty underneath”.
Hide: “How could that be interpreted as an ‘El Duce” salute”?
Key: “Only digging yourself deeper, Benny.”
Mr “Great Antennae but No Compass” groans inwardly as Mr “Counter-factual” frightens the horses (again).
Key thinking quietly to himself.
‘Spock was right, letting the Borg manage the city transformation will make me the laughing stock of the fleet commanders.
Photoshop people at the standard.
I’m sure you can do something with this;
http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/HPO/10960.jpg
How did I get into this mess?
Key, “I can’t see what women see in the gormless prick’
Rodney. “I was this close to chucking in politics and becoming a professional dancer “