Caption competition

Written By: - Date published: 12:00 pm, April 11th, 2015 - 86 comments
Categories: caption contest, humour, The Standard - Tags:

Mark Weedon John Key

86 comments on “Caption competition ”

  1. NZJester 1

    In a thought bubble above his head. (boy I’m nervous. I fell like the devil is behind me and breathing down my neck)

  2. mickysavage 2

    Luke I am your father …

  3. ropata 3

    TV3’s new soap: “Working For Satan”

    (stolen from https://twitter.com/Megapope/status/586696892278374400 )

    • weka 3.1

      Heh, was just about to suggest a competition on what Julie Christie’s new soap will be.

    • seeker 3.2

      “The Screwyou tape Letters” mini series for tv 3 (with apologies to C.S.Lewis).

  4. pohutukawakid 4

    The organ grinder and the monkey!
    Which is which?

  5. happynz 5

    What’s it with middle-aged slightly balding Kiwi blokes and the tousled hair look? Whaddya reckon he spent over $200 for that haircut?

  6. swordfish 6

    Weldon: “Mr Key usually has his hand up my arse as a precaution. But tonight he says he’s feeling confident enough to let me go solo.”

  7. Stickler 7

    When I said I’d watch his back, I didn’t mention I was looking for a place to stick the knife….

  8. Incognito 8

    John Key Mark I and Mark too.

  9. Clemgeopin 9

    “Quality doesn’t matter. It is all about the quantity. The bum does look big in there!”

  10. tracey 10

    “I want to run my hands through his gently wavy hair, while we swim in a pool of cash.”

  11. Penny Bright 11

    Look!

    A ‘no hands’ sock puppet!

    Penny Bright

    • burt 11.1

      If this guy lived in his own freehold house, paid no taxes and no rates while telling other wealthy people they should pay more tax – would he be a hero to you for acting just like you do ?

      • Tracey 11.1.1

        how much tax do you reckon Weldon pays?

        • burt 11.1.1.1

          Tracey

          If he has a freehold house in Auckland then he’d be wealthy by anyone’s measure. If he was wealthy and banging on that wealthy people should pay more tax while paying none himself then I’d call him a fraud – like I do with Penny ( I’m a hard core left who is wealthy and pay no tax ) Bright.

          • felix 11.1.1.1.1

            How do you know how much tax Penny pays?

            • burt 11.1.1.1.1.1

              She stated it when pressed in a blog post on kiwiblog. She actually went as far as mocking me saying I was jealous she had a freehold property while I was renting. She’s a class act lefty that one.

              • felix

                Stated what?

                • burt

                  Find out for yourself try this search in google;

                  ‘burt penny jealous freehold house site:www.kiwiblog.co.nz’

                  Vary them to include/exclude; tax, rates, government funded services, multi national banks, google, fraud of a lefty, freehold, occupy

                  and see what you can find.

                  Otherwise – ask her. On other blogs she’s readily admitted paying no tax and refusing to pay her rates. Perhaps on this blog Penny like to keep up her charade that she is a lefty rather than a wealthy individual contributing nothing while demanding others don’t act like she does.

                  • felix

                    Sorry burt, I thought you said you knew how much tax she paid. Now you want me to figure it out for you?

                    How much tax is she supposed to be paying anyway? And how would you know?

                    • burt

                      There is no point in me telling you – you’re going to ignore my information anyway. I’ve said she pays no tax, she’s got every right to argue that – I don’t see her denying it on this blog.

                      But just for you I’ll ask her every time I see her post on this blog and lets see if she can confirm or deny it for you. Best I can do given you’re so selective in what you believe that you aren’t even prepared to acknowledge your preferred political ideology has ended in tears every time its been tried in NZ for the last 50+ years.

                    • felix

                      I’m having trouble following that.

                      Are you saying you do know how much tax she’s supposed to be paying?

                      Or you don’t?

                    • burt

                      Sorry burt, I thought you said you knew how much tax she paid. Now you want me to figure it out for you?

                      You’re making shit up as you go now felix.

                      I said she pays no tax – you asked how I know. I told you. You didn’t want to listen and now you think I’m asking you to figure it out when I told you you could verify it with her yourself.

                      I picking you don’t care if she pays no tax and owns a freehold property because she supports the same failed ideology as you and the fact she behaves like a hard core capitalist is OK with you.

                    • felix

                      Yeah, I know you said she pays no tax.

                      I’ve been asking how you know how much tax she’s supposed to be paying.

                      Also I have no problem with people owning houses freehold and I can’t imagine why you would either.

                    • ropata

                      In burt-world, you can’t have assets and vote Left.
                      He seems to think that a dog-eat-dog society is the only option.
                      TINA

              • ropata

                burt,
                If you’re renting then a vote for National is a vote for worse housing affordability and worse rental conditions. Have you been following any news in the last 6 years or have you taken a few too many #teamkey enemas?

                Housing:
                http://thestandard.org.nz/nationals-social-housing-policy-in-action/
                http://thestandard.org.nz/dollar-parity/#comment-996869

                And here’s more on National’s priorities:

                $400 MILLION TO FEED NZ COWS "yes' …..$100 MILLION TO FEED NZ KIDS 'no" #TEAMKEY— André Hock (@transparency_a1) March 18, 2015

                #NotNational #Northland #DirtyPolitics #TeamKey pic.twitter.com/Tz2nLcHZsJ— Paul Le Comte (@five15design) March 19, 2015

                $1.5 billion to refit navy with new torpedoes and upgrading ammunition for their guns…… hungry Kids get a raincoat and an apple #teamkey— André Hock (@transparency_a1) March 18, 2015

          • weka 11.1.1.1.2

            “If he has a freehold house in Auckland then he’d be wealthy by anyone’s measure.”

            I have relatives in Auckland who have freehold houses. They’re middle class and no more wealthy than relatives who live elsewhere in NZ. They’re just old and bought and paid off their mortgage in a time when that was normal in that area. Please be careful about how you attach judgements.

  12. Penny Bright 12

    Mark – my words ….

    Penny Bright

  13. JanM 13

    If you’re not going to be nice to my little friend you can just go away, so there!

  14. ruup 14

    ‘…..and you can’t even see my lips moving….”

  15. emergency mike 15

    “I for one welcome our new NACToid overlords.”

  16. Only one thing missing in that photo.

    The door sign, Tosser Club In. Members Only.

  17. burt 17

    So those who want this leftard clap trap show and are prepared to put your own money behind it raise your hands ? anyone ? Anyone at all ?

    • ropata 17.1

      i dunno, do you think journalists should question the State or should they just be part of its PR machine?

      when will you stop licking keys butt burt?

      • burt 17.1.1

        Of course they should question the state. But I think you are confused. TV3 isn’t a state run monopoly where dear leader calls the shots. It’s a business and Campbell’s ratings are shit. See in your ideal lefty ( guaranteed to fail ideology ) there is no notion of questioning the state – lucky we don’t have your preferred political system fully implemented eh.

        • ropata 17.1.1.1

          Campbell isn’t “left” you fool, and my preferred political system is one that is accountable and honest, not a pack of capitalist bankster cronies selling off the future of NZ. Do you have a moral compass or is that for sale like everything else in the Nactoid universe?

          • burt 17.1.1.1.1

            Campbell isn’t “left” you fool…

            We’re not in Guatemala now ropata…

            … and my preferred political system is one that is accountable and honest, not a pack of capitalist bankster union cronies selling ripping off the future of NZ. workers to fund highly paid politicians.

            Are we having fun doing talking points yet ?

            But seriously – if Campbell isn’t the sweat heart of the left – why are only left wing blogs crying over his potential axing ?

            I guess it could be nothing to do with his political view other than he appears to join her majesties loyal (unthinking) opposition being against the nasty evil baby eating John Key.

            • ropata 17.1.1.1.1.1

              Your last sentence is surprisingly showing a glimmer of understanding.
              Campbell is one of the few TV journos not tarred by the Dirty Politics scandal.
              It’s not a left-vs-right thing, it’s about ethical journalism and reporting things that matter to Kiwis not the latest Beehive spin.

              I wouldn’t trust any journalist who just nods and goes along with whatever lines are spun from leaders like Bliar, Bush, or John P Key.

              As for why the right wing outlets aren’t complaining, you work it out.

            • North 17.1.1.1.1.2

              So succinct in your last paragraph Burt. Succinct most times means the guts of the matter. Thanks….

        • felix 17.1.1.2

          “See in your ideal lefty corporate ( guaranteed to fail already failing almost everybody ideology ) there is no notion of questioning the state gods of the market – lucky we don’t quite have your preferred political system fully implemented just yet eh.”

          Oh this is fun. retrospectively 😀 editing burt’s brainfarts.

        • North 17.1.1.3

          But of course Burt’s definition of that wonderful democratic institution the right “to question” is to go no further than this – once every two years slightly raise one eyebrow. And with the heel of a hand smash it back into line so no one will notice and report the ghastliness of it to The GodKey’s Top Drawer.

          ‘Cept sorry Burt…….the story is that nowadays no one’s reporting back. Anyone who might is too busy assessing his/her political odds in these days of impending George III. No shortage of cocktail party grimaces however, as per usual. Look for more fuck-ups. Not that the Theist Being and the inner–cabal would listen if they were told. It’s called third-termitis.

          There’s only sadness in this for you Burt. Macrame, as a suggestion…….?

  18. Clemgeopin 18

    “My work is almost done! I have destroyed state assets, destroyed privacy, destroyed state education, destroyed adult community education night classes, destroyed railways, destroyed ethics in government, destroyed truth and honesty, destroyed surplus, destroyed MMP and I have destroyed democracy among other things. I have one more thing to do before I bugger off to USA, Mark. I need you to help me here : Destroy that courageous caring journalist, the thorn on our side, that ‘little creep!”

  19. mary_a 19

    “Spin that bullshit boy and spin it good. Ya hear? “Ya ol’ pappy John is a watchin’ ya boy.”

  20. Kevin 20

    What’s the prize?

  21. mac1 21

    “Bling it on!” How to sit modestly whilst still showing off the matching gold cufflinks and watch.

  22. Ffloyd 22

    Another spineless sycophant under my spell. God they’re so easy. G’wan my son, make me proud. Don’t like you but you’re useful.

  23. Treetop 23

    Freedom of speech is not alive and well on Campbell Live.

    Campbell knows what poverty is, Key does not.

    The competition avoids the real John Key.

  24. Clemgeopin 24

    “You are a numbers man, John. What is the ‘number’ for Winston Peters to win the Northland buy election, John?”

    “Ah, that is easy! Zero! “

  25. joe90 25

    It’s the Chuck and Dave show.

  26. Trainman 26

    Hey Mark I didn’t like being called to account by Campbell so now sort it

  27. Anne 27

    People have been talking about current affairs lately. I want to categorically deny that I am having a current affair. Indeed I have not had one since I married.

  28. bernard 28

    I`ve got your back,Mark

  29. Michael 29

    They do make a lovely couple.

  30. Skinny 30

    Us rats must stick together too much anti MSM poison being sprayed. Did Campbell drink the 1080 cocktail we served him?

  31. Weepus beard 31

    That hair, Mark. Is it Regaine, or Advanced Hair?

  32. weldon – this is my sincere telling the truth face
    key – mine too

  33. “Ladies and gentlemen, I am just gonna state the obvious: we have a doppelgänger in our midst.”

  34. Incognito 34

    Dudes, I’m so ripped right now that I have a 6-pack on my forehead and John can’t see it!

  35. Rob 35

    The unsmiling assassin

  36. Incognito 36

    Let’s be clear, the Jono and Ben show is not a euphemism for John Key and Paula Bennett on the campaign trail in Northland.

  37. peterh 37

    I will be watching you, look after Paul, and try and get Mike on board

  38. Stuart Munro 38

    “My name is Mark, and I’ve been sober for about fifteen minutes…”

  39. ropata 39

    “And for my next trick, I am going to fart in your general direction!”

  40. cogito 40

    NEW FROM TV3:
    “The Two Piranhas”, NZ’s new **REAL** reality show, where the Two Piranhas unleash chaos and mayhem in the newsroom as they aim for total media control.

  41. b waghorn 41

    I’m so proud of my mini me right now I could just hug him to bits.
    ( thinks key)

  42. rod 42

    Some people may say that TV3’s News and Current Affairs will be fully controlled by the National Government and it’s lackey’s and puppets. I couldn’t possibly comment,

  43. North 43

    “Yeah well Wegewege called from Florida – near Cuba. Said John needed a hand so I came straight down. Oh he’s OK, don’t worry about it. He’s Just sulking. Winston called him a 13,000 vote epic-fail-fuckwit and it’s taking time……you know,…..expunge the facts.”

    “Anyway, let me introduce the Prime Minster Mr ShonKey Python…….fresh from Melbourne – near Northland.”

  44. Atiawa 44

    I’m the ‘block, he’s the butcher.

  45. Chrys Berryman 45

    “oh shit I don’t have a pulse,Mark help me here,I don’t have a pulse!!!….shit if I hav’nt got a pulse it means I don’t have a heart!!!!,god Mark this means I’m a heartless neo lib like you……

  46. cogito 46

    Weldon: “never mind the truth, count the money”

  47. freedom 47

    “I don’t even have a phone”

  48. Ecosse_Maidy 48

    Thank you I am honoured to have finished second in Bastard of The Year competition…

    Yet I can now reveal the winner is………………

  49. Ecosse_Maidy 49

    CEO Keys, What a fooking rank amateur,,,,,
    Just look at him, he ain’t no professional,,,,,
    ,Hes lying without the use of a auto cue….

    How damn demeaning to our profession!!!!

  50. Ecosse_Maidy 50

    Okdokey,,,,The Replacement for Jeremy Fartson is…..

  51. Ecosse_Maidy 51

    Keys thinking………………………….Hell calls himself a member of the conservative elite……There is no way that suit is anywhere near an Armani…….what cheap shit

  52. Ecosse_Maidy 52

    Thank you all for your good wishes,,,,,now John and I are going to enjoy our civil partnership, at your expense with a 2 week golfing honeymoon in Hawaii…

  53. Ecosse_Maidy 53

    Dunce Keys,,, ermm what that sign on his back,,,Kick Em? Ermmmm what is that? oh well it means nothing, i will do my usual nothing

  54. Ecosse_Maidy 54

    Clash Of The “Tie”tans……Yellow Or Blue,,Your Choice or A Referendum

  55. Ecosse_Maidy 55

    CEO Keys, Ha Talk all you like, I pull your strings, you upstart….!

    Ghostly Banker/Business/Elite, Figue Behind Genrillismo Keys,,,,

    Ha!!! Look Smug all you like, we pull your strings Keys…!

  56. Ecosse_Maidy 56

    Lynton Diahorrea Stains Crosby,,, makes rare public appearance behind Keys

Links to post

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • New Zealand’s minerals future
    Introduction Today, we are sharing a red-letter occasion. A Blackball event on hallowed ground. Today  we underscore the importance of our mineral estate. A reminder that our natural resource sector has much to offer.  Such a contribution will not come to pass without investment.  However, more than money is needed. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 hour ago
  • Government sets out vision for minerals future
    Increasing national and regional prosperity, providing the minerals needed for new technology and the clean energy transition, and doubling the value of minerals exports are the bold aims of the Government’s vision for the minerals sector. Resources Minister Shane Jones today launched a draft strategy for the minerals sector in ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 hour ago
  • Government progresses Māori wards legislation
    The coalition Government’s legislation to restore the rights of communities to determine whether to introduce Māori wards has passed its first reading in Parliament, Local Government Minister Simeon Brown says. “Divisive changes introduced by the previous government denied local communities the ability to determine whether to establish Māori wards.” The ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 hours ago
  • First RMA amendment Bill introduced to Parliament
    The coalition Government has today introduced legislation to slash the tangle of red and green tape throttling some of New Zealand’s key sectors, including farming, mining and other primary industries. RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop says the Government is committed to  unlocking development and investment while ensuring the environment is ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 hours ago
  • Speech to Employers and Manufacturers Association: Relief for today, hope for tomorrow
    Kia ora, Ngā mihi nui ki a koutou kātoa Tāmaki Herenga Waka, Tāmaki Herenga tangata Ngā mihi ki ngā mana whenua o tēnei rohe Ngāti Whātua ō Ōrākei me nga iwi kātoa kua tae mai. Mauriora. Greetings everyone. Thank you to the EMA for hosting this event. Let me acknowledge ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 hours ago
  • Government invests in 1,500 more social homes
    The coalition Government is investing in social housing for New Zealanders who are most in need of a warm dry home, Housing Minister Chris Bishop says. Budget 2024 will allocate $140 million in new funding for 1,500 new social housing places to be provided by Community Housing Providers (CHPs), not ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • $24 million boost for Gumboot Friday
    Thousands more young New Zealanders will have better access to mental health services as the Government delivers on its commitment to fund the Gumboot Friday initiative, says Deputy Prime Minister Winston Peters and Mental Health Minister Matt Doocey.  “Budget 2024 will provide $24 million over four years to contract the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Residential Tenancies Amendment Bill passes first reading
    The Coalition Government’s Residential Tenancies Amendment Bill, which will improve tenancy laws and help increase the supply of rental properties, has passed its first reading in Parliament says Housing Minister Chris Bishop. “The Bill proposes much-needed changes to the Residential Tenancies Act 1986 that will remove barriers to increasing private ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Montecassino Commemorative Address, Cassino War Cemetery
    Standing here in Cassino War Cemetery, among the graves looking up at the beautiful Abbey of Montecassino, it is hard to imagine the utter devastation left behind by the battles which ended here in May 1944. Hundreds of thousands of shells and bombs of every description left nothing but piled ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • First Reading – Repeal of Section 7AA of the Oranga Tamariki Act 1989
    I present a legislative statement on the Oranga Tamariki (Repeal of Section 7AA) Amendment Bill Mr. Speaker, I move that the Oranga Tamariki (Repeal of Section 7AA) Amendment Bill be now read a first time. I nominate the Social Services and Community Committee to consider the Bill. Thank you, Mr. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • First reading of 7AA’s repeal: progress for children
    The Bill to repeal Section 7AA of the Oranga Tamariki Act has had its first reading in Parliament today. The Bill reaffirms the Coalition Government’s commitment to the care and safety of children in care, says Minister for Children Karen Chhour.  “When I became the Minister for Children, I made ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • China Business Summit 2024
    Kia ora koutou, good morning, and zao shang hao. Thank you Fran for the opportunity to speak at the 2024 China Business Summit – it’s great to be here today. I’d also like to acknowledge: Simon Bridges - CEO of the Auckland Chamber of Commerce. His Excellency Ambassador - Wang ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Assisted depatures from New Caledonia
    Foreign Minister Winston Peters has confirmed a New Zealand Government plane will head to New Caledonia in the next hour in the first in a series of proposed flights to begin bringing New Zealanders home.    “New Zealanders in New Caledonia have faced a challenging few days - and bringing ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Assisted departures from New Caledonia
    Foreign Minister Winston Peters has confirmed a New Zealand Government plane will head to New Caledonia in the next hour in the first in a series of proposed flights to begin bringing New Zealanders home.  “New Zealanders in New Caledonia have faced a challenging few days - and bringing them ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Government to rollout roadside drug testing
    The Coalition Government will introduce legislation this year that will enable roadside drug testing as part of our commitment to improve road safety and restore law and order, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says.  “Alcohol and drugs are the number one contributing factor in fatal road crashes in New Zealand. In ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Minister responds to review of Kāinga Ora
    The Government has announced a series of immediate actions in response to the independent review of Kāinga Ora – Homes and Communities, Housing Minister Chris Bishop says. “Kāinga Ora is a large and important Crown entity, with assets of $45 billion and over $2.5 billion of expenditure each year. It ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Pseudoephedrine back on shelves
    Associate Health Minister David Seymour is pleased that Pseudoephedrine can now be purchased by the general public to protect them from winter illness, after the coalition government worked swiftly to change the law and oversaw a fast approval process by Medsafe. “Pharmacies are now putting the medicines back on their ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • New Zealand-China Business Summit
    Tēnā koutou katoa. Da jia hao.  Good morning everyone.   Prime Minister Luxon, your excellency, a great friend of New Zealand and my friend Ambassador Wang, Mayor of what he tells me is the best city in New Zealand, Wayne Brown, the highly respected Fran O’Sullivan, Champion of the Auckland business ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • New measures to protect powerlines from trees
    Energy Minister Simeon Brown has announced that the Government will make it easier for lines firms to take action to remove vegetation from obstructing local powerlines. The change will ensure greater security of electricity supply in local communities, particularly during severe weather events.  “Trees or parts of trees falling on ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Wairarapa Moana ki Pouakani win top Māori dairy farming award
    Wairarapa Moana ki Pouakani were the top winners at this year’s Ahuwhenua Trophy awards recognising the best in Māori dairy farming. Māori Development Minister Tama Potaka announced the winners and congratulated runners-up, Whakatōhea Māori Trust Board, at an awards celebration also attended by Prime Minister Christopher Luxon and Finance Minister ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • DJ Fred Again – Assurance report received
    "On the 27th of March, I sought assurances from the Chief Executive, Department of Internal Affairs, that the Department’s correct processes and policies had been followed in regards to a passport application which received media attention,” says Minister of Internal Affairs Brooke van Velden.  “I raised my concerns after being ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • District Court Judges appointed
    Attorney-General Judith Collins has announced the appointment of three new District Court Judges, to replace Judges who have recently retired. Peter James Davey of Auckland has been appointed a District Court Judge with a jury jurisdiction to be based at Whangarei. Mr Davey initially started work as a law clerk/solicitor with ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Unions should put learning ahead of ideology
    Associate Education Minister David Seymour is calling on the Post Primary Teachers’ Association (PPTA) to put ideology to the side and focus on students’ learning, in reaction to the union holding paid teacher meetings across New Zealand about charter schools.     “The PPTA is disrupting schools up and down the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Craig Stobo appointed as chair of FMA
    Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly today announced the appointment of Craig Stobo as the new chair of the Financial Markets Authority (FMA). Mr Stobo takes over from Mark Todd, whose term expired at the end of April. Mr Stobo’s appointment is for a five-year term. “The FMA plays ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Budget 2024 invests in lifeguards and coastguard
    Surf Life Saving New Zealand and Coastguard New Zealand will continue to be able to keep people safe in, on, and around the water following a funding boost of $63.644 million over four years, Transport Minister Simeon Brown and Associate Transport Minister Matt Doocey say. “Heading to the beach for ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • New Zealand and Tuvalu reaffirm close relationship
    New Zealand and Tuvalu have reaffirmed their close relationship, Foreign Affairs Minister Winston Peters says.  “New Zealand is committed to working with Tuvalu on a shared vision of resilience, prosperity and security, in close concert with Australia,” says Mr Peters, who last visited Tuvalu in 2019.  “It is my pleasure ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • New Zealand calls for calm, constructive dialogue in New Caledonia
    New Zealand is gravely concerned about the situation in New Caledonia, Foreign Minister Winston Peters says.  “The escalating situation and violent protests in Nouméa are of serious concern across the Pacific Islands region,” Mr Peters says.  “The immediate priority must be for all sides to take steps to de-escalate the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • New Zealand welcomes Samoa Head of State
    Prime Minister Christopher Luxon met today with Samoa’s O le Ao o le Malo, Afioga Tuimalealiifano Vaaletoa Sualauvi II, who is making a State Visit to New Zealand. “His Highness and I reflected on our two countries’ extensive community links, with Samoan–New Zealanders contributing to all areas of our national ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Island Direct eligible for SuperGold Card funding
    Transport Minister Simeon Brown has announced that he has approved Waiheke Island ferry operator Island Direct to be eligible for SuperGold Card funding, paving the way for a commercial agreement to bring the operator into the scheme. “Island Direct started operating in November 2023, offering an additional option for people ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Further sanctions against Russia
    Foreign Minister Winston Peters today announced further sanctions on 28 individuals and 14 entities providing military and strategic support for Russia’s invasion of Ukraine.  “Russia is directly supported by its military-industrial complex in its illegal aggression against Ukraine, attacking its sovereignty and territorial integrity. New Zealand condemns all entities and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • One year on from Loafers Lodge
    A year on from the tragedy at Loafers Lodge, the Government is working hard to improve building fire safety, Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk says. “I want to share my sincere condolences with the families and friends of the victims on the anniversary of the tragic fire at Loafers ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Pre-Budget speech to Auckland Business Chamber
    Ka nui te mihi kia koutou. Kia ora and good afternoon, everyone. Thank you so much for having me here in the lead up to my Government’s first Budget. Before I get started can I acknowledge: Simon Bridges – Auckland Business Chamber CEO. Steve Jurkovich – Kiwibank CEO. Kids born ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • New Zealand and Vanuatu to deepen collaboration
    New Zealand and Vanuatu will enhance collaboration on issues of mutual interest, Foreign Minister Winston Peters says.    “It is important to return to Port Vila this week with a broad, high-level political delegation which demonstrates our deep commitment to New Zealand’s relationship with Vanuatu,” Mr Peters says.    “This ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Penk travels to Peru for trade meetings
    Minister for Land Information, Chris Penk will travel to Peru this week to represent New Zealand at a meeting of trade ministers from the Asia-Pacific region on behalf of Trade Minister Todd McClay. The annual Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) Ministers Responsible for Trade meeting will be held on 17-18 May ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Minister attends global education conferences
    Minister of Education Erica Stanford will head to the United Kingdom this week to participate in the 22nd Conference of Commonwealth Education Ministers (CCEM) and the 2024 Education World Forum (EWF). “I am looking forward to sharing this Government’s education priorities, such as introducing a knowledge-rich curriculum, implementing an evidence-based ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Education Minister thanks outgoing NZQA Chair
    Minister of Education Erica Stanford has today thanked outgoing New Zealand Qualifications Authority Chair, Hon Tracey Martin. “Tracey Martin tendered her resignation late last month in order to take up a new role,” Ms Stanford says. Ms Martin will relinquish the role of Chair on 10 May and current Deputy ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Joint statement of Christopher Luxon and Emmanuel Macron: Launch of the Christchurch Call Foundation
    New Zealand Prime Minister Christopher Luxon and President Emmanuel Macron of France today announced a new non-governmental organisation, the Christchurch Call Foundation, to coordinate the Christchurch Call’s work to eliminate terrorist and violent extremist content online.   This change gives effect to the outcomes of the November 2023 Call Leaders’ Summit, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Panel announced for review into disability services
    Distinguished public servant and former diplomat Sir Maarten Wevers will lead the independent review into the disability support services administered by the Ministry of Disabled People – Whaikaha. The review was announced by Disability Issues Minister Louise Upston a fortnight ago to examine what could be done to strengthen the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Minister welcomes Police gang unit
    Today’s announcement by Police Commissioner Andrew Coster of a National Gang Unit and district Gang Disruption Units will help deliver on the coalition Government’s pledge to restore law and order and crack down on criminal gangs, Police Minister Mark Mitchell says. “The National Gang Unit and Gang Disruption Units will ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • New Zealand expresses regret at North Korea’s aggressive rhetoric
    Foreign Minister Winston Peters has today expressed regret at North Korea’s aggressive rhetoric towards New Zealand and its international partners.  “New Zealand proudly stands with the international community in upholding the rules-based order through its monitoring and surveillance deployments, which it has been regularly doing alongside partners since 2018,” Mr ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago

Page generated in The Standard by Wordpress at 2024-05-23T08:51:12+00:00