Caption competition

Written By: - Date published: 12:00 pm, April 11th, 2015 - 85 comments
Categories: caption contest, humour, The Standard - Tags:

Mark Weedon John Key

85 comments on “Caption competition”

  1. NZJester 1

    In a thought bubble above his head. (boy I’m nervous. I fell like the devil is behind me and breathing down my neck)

  2. mickysavage 2

    Luke I am your father …

  3. ropata 3

    TV3’s new soap: “Working For Satan”

    (stolen from https://twitter.com/Megapope/status/586696892278374400 )

    • weka 3.1

      Heh, was just about to suggest a competition on what Julie Christie’s new soap will be.

    • seeker 3.2

      “The Screwyou tape Letters” mini series for tv 3 (with apologies to C.S.Lewis).

  4. pohutukawakid 4

    The organ grinder and the monkey!
    Which is which?

  5. happynz 5

    What’s it with middle-aged slightly balding Kiwi blokes and the tousled hair look? Whaddya reckon he spent over $200 for that haircut?

  6. swordfish 6

    Weldon: “Mr Key usually has his hand up my arse as a precaution. But tonight he says he’s feeling confident enough to let me go solo.”

  7. Stickler 7

    When I said I’d watch his back, I didn’t mention I was looking for a place to stick the knife….

  8. Incognito 8

    John Key Mark I and Mark too.

  9. Clemgeopin 9

    “Quality doesn’t matter. It is all about the quantity. The bum does look big in there!”

  10. tracey 10

    “I want to run my hands through his gently wavy hair, while we swim in a pool of cash.”

  11. Penny Bright 11

    Look!

    A ‘no hands’ sock puppet!

    Penny Bright

    • burt 11.1

      If this guy lived in his own freehold house, paid no taxes and no rates while telling other wealthy people they should pay more tax – would he be a hero to you for acting just like you do ?

      • Tracey 11.1.1

        how much tax do you reckon Weldon pays?

        • burt 11.1.1.1

          Tracey

          If he has a freehold house in Auckland then he’d be wealthy by anyone’s measure. If he was wealthy and banging on that wealthy people should pay more tax while paying none himself then I’d call him a fraud – like I do with Penny ( I’m a hard core left who is wealthy and pay no tax ) Bright.

          • felix 11.1.1.1.1

            How do you know how much tax Penny pays?

            • burt 11.1.1.1.1.1

              She stated it when pressed in a blog post on kiwiblog. She actually went as far as mocking me saying I was jealous she had a freehold property while I was renting. She’s a class act lefty that one.

              • felix

                Stated what?

                • burt

                  Find out for yourself try this search in google;

                  ‘burt penny jealous freehold house site:www.kiwiblog.co.nz’

                  Vary them to include/exclude; tax, rates, government funded services, multi national banks, google, fraud of a lefty, freehold, occupy

                  and see what you can find.

                  Otherwise – ask her. On other blogs she’s readily admitted paying no tax and refusing to pay her rates. Perhaps on this blog Penny like to keep up her charade that she is a lefty rather than a wealthy individual contributing nothing while demanding others don’t act like she does.

                  • felix

                    Sorry burt, I thought you said you knew how much tax she paid. Now you want me to figure it out for you?

                    How much tax is she supposed to be paying anyway? And how would you know?

                    • burt

                      There is no point in me telling you – you’re going to ignore my information anyway. I’ve said she pays no tax, she’s got every right to argue that – I don’t see her denying it on this blog.

                      But just for you I’ll ask her every time I see her post on this blog and lets see if she can confirm or deny it for you. Best I can do given you’re so selective in what you believe that you aren’t even prepared to acknowledge your preferred political ideology has ended in tears every time its been tried in NZ for the last 50+ years.

                    • felix

                      I’m having trouble following that.

                      Are you saying you do know how much tax she’s supposed to be paying?

                      Or you don’t?

                    • burt

                      Sorry burt, I thought you said you knew how much tax she paid. Now you want me to figure it out for you?

                      You’re making shit up as you go now felix.

                      I said she pays no tax – you asked how I know. I told you. You didn’t want to listen and now you think I’m asking you to figure it out when I told you you could verify it with her yourself.

                      I picking you don’t care if she pays no tax and owns a freehold property because she supports the same failed ideology as you and the fact she behaves like a hard core capitalist is OK with you.

                    • felix

                      Yeah, I know you said she pays no tax.

                      I’ve been asking how you know how much tax she’s supposed to be paying.

                      Also I have no problem with people owning houses freehold and I can’t imagine why you would either.

                    • ropata

                      In burt-world, you can’t have assets and vote Left.
                      He seems to think that a dog-eat-dog society is the only option.
                      TINA

              • ropata

                burt,
                If you’re renting then a vote for National is a vote for worse housing affordability and worse rental conditions. Have you been following any news in the last 6 years or have you taken a few too many #teamkey enemas?

                Housing:

                National’s social housing policy in action

                Dollar Parity

                And here’s more on National’s priorities:

                $400 MILLION TO FEED NZ COWS "yes' …..$100 MILLION TO FEED NZ KIDS 'no" #TEAMKEY— André Hock (@transparency_a1) March 18, 2015

                #NotNational #Northland #DirtyPolitics #TeamKey pic.twitter.com/Tz2nLcHZsJ— Paul Le Comte (@five15design) March 19, 2015

                $1.5 billion to refit navy with new torpedoes and upgrading ammunition for their guns…… hungry Kids get a raincoat and an apple #teamkey— André Hock (@transparency_a1) March 18, 2015

          • weka 11.1.1.1.2

            “If he has a freehold house in Auckland then he’d be wealthy by anyone’s measure.”

            I have relatives in Auckland who have freehold houses. They’re middle class and no more wealthy than relatives who live elsewhere in NZ. They’re just old and bought and paid off their mortgage in a time when that was normal in that area. Please be careful about how you attach judgements.

  12. Penny Bright 12

    Mark – my words ….

    Penny Bright

  13. JanM 13

    If you’re not going to be nice to my little friend you can just go away, so there!

  14. ruup 14

    ‘…..and you can’t even see my lips moving….”

  15. emergency mike 15

    “I for one welcome our new NACToid overlords.”

  16. Only one thing missing in that photo.

    The door sign, Tosser Club In. Members Only.

  17. burt 17

    So those who want this leftard clap trap show and are prepared to put your own money behind it raise your hands ? anyone ? Anyone at all ?

    • ropata 17.1

      i dunno, do you think journalists should question the State or should they just be part of its PR machine?

      when will you stop licking keys butt burt?

      • burt 17.1.1

        Of course they should question the state. But I think you are confused. TV3 isn’t a state run monopoly where dear leader calls the shots. It’s a business and Campbell’s ratings are shit. See in your ideal lefty ( guaranteed to fail ideology ) there is no notion of questioning the state – lucky we don’t have your preferred political system fully implemented eh.

        • ropata 17.1.1.1

          Campbell isn’t “left” you fool, and my preferred political system is one that is accountable and honest, not a pack of capitalist bankster cronies selling off the future of NZ. Do you have a moral compass or is that for sale like everything else in the Nactoid universe?

          • burt 17.1.1.1.1

            Campbell isn’t “left” you fool…

            We’re not in Guatemala now ropata…

            … and my preferred political system is one that is accountable and honest, not a pack of capitalist bankster union cronies selling ripping off the future of NZ. workers to fund highly paid politicians.

            Are we having fun doing talking points yet ?

            But seriously – if Campbell isn’t the sweat heart of the left – why are only left wing blogs crying over his potential axing ?

            I guess it could be nothing to do with his political view other than he appears to join her majesties loyal (unthinking) opposition being against the nasty evil baby eating John Key.

            • ropata 17.1.1.1.1.1

              Your last sentence is surprisingly showing a glimmer of understanding.
              Campbell is one of the few TV journos not tarred by the Dirty Politics scandal.
              It’s not a left-vs-right thing, it’s about ethical journalism and reporting things that matter to Kiwis not the latest Beehive spin.

              I wouldn’t trust any journalist who just nods and goes along with whatever lines are spun from leaders like Bliar, Bush, or John P Key.

              As for why the right wing outlets aren’t complaining, you work it out.

            • North 17.1.1.1.1.2

              So succinct in your last paragraph Burt. Succinct most times means the guts of the matter. Thanks….

        • felix 17.1.1.2

          “See in your ideal lefty corporate ( guaranteed to fail already failing almost everybody ideology ) there is no notion of questioning the state gods of the market – lucky we don’t quite have your preferred political system fully implemented just yet eh.”

          Oh this is fun. retrospectively 😀 editing burt’s brainfarts.

        • North 17.1.1.3

          But of course Burt’s definition of that wonderful democratic institution the right “to question” is to go no further than this – once every two years slightly raise one eyebrow. And with the heel of a hand smash it back into line so no one will notice and report the ghastliness of it to The GodKey’s Top Drawer.

          ‘Cept sorry Burt…….the story is that nowadays no one’s reporting back. Anyone who might is too busy assessing his/her political odds in these days of impending George III. No shortage of cocktail party grimaces however, as per usual. Look for more fuck-ups. Not that the Theist Being and the inner–cabal would listen if they were told. It’s called third-termitis.

          There’s only sadness in this for you Burt. Macrame, as a suggestion…….?

  18. Clemgeopin 18

    “My work is almost done! I have destroyed state assets, destroyed privacy, destroyed state education, destroyed adult community education night classes, destroyed railways, destroyed ethics in government, destroyed truth and honesty, destroyed surplus, destroyed MMP and I have destroyed democracy among other things. I have one more thing to do before I bugger off to USA, Mark. I need you to help me here : Destroy that courageous caring journalist, the thorn on our side, that ‘little creep!”

  19. mary_a 19

    “Spin that bullshit boy and spin it good. Ya hear? “Ya ol’ pappy John is a watchin’ ya boy.”

  20. Kevin 20

    What’s the prize?

  21. mac1 21

    “Bling it on!” How to sit modestly whilst still showing off the matching gold cufflinks and watch.

  22. Ffloyd 22

    Another spineless sycophant under my spell. God they’re so easy. G’wan my son, make me proud. Don’t like you but you’re useful.

  23. Treetop 23

    Freedom of speech is not alive and well on Campbell Live.

    Campbell knows what poverty is, Key does not.

    The competition avoids the real John Key.

  24. Clemgeopin 24

    “You are a numbers man, John. What is the ‘number’ for Winston Peters to win the Northland buy election, John?”

    “Ah, that is easy! Zero! “

  25. joe90 25

    It’s the Chuck and Dave show.

  26. Trainman 26

    Hey Mark I didn’t like being called to account by Campbell so now sort it

  27. Anne 27

    People have been talking about current affairs lately. I want to categorically deny that I am having a current affair. Indeed I have not had one since I married.

  28. bernard 28

    I`ve got your back,Mark

  29. Michael 29

    They do make a lovely couple.

  30. Skinny 30

    Us rats must stick together too much anti MSM poison being sprayed. Did Campbell drink the 1080 cocktail we served him?

  31. Weepus beard 31

    That hair, Mark. Is it Regaine, or Advanced Hair?

  32. weldon – this is my sincere telling the truth face
    key – mine too

  33. “Ladies and gentlemen, I am just gonna state the obvious: we have a doppelgänger in our midst.”

  34. Incognito 34

    Dudes, I’m so ripped right now that I have a 6-pack on my forehead and John can’t see it!

  35. Rob 35

    The unsmiling assassin

  36. Incognito 36

    Let’s be clear, the Jono and Ben show is not a euphemism for John Key and Paula Bennett on the campaign trail in Northland.

  37. peterh 37

    I will be watching you, look after Paul, and try and get Mike on board

  38. Stuart Munro 38

    “My name is Mark, and I’ve been sober for about fifteen minutes…”

  39. ropata 39

    “And for my next trick, I am going to fart in your general direction!”

  40. cogito 40

    NEW FROM TV3:
    “The Two Piranhas”, NZ’s new **REAL** reality show, where the Two Piranhas unleash chaos and mayhem in the newsroom as they aim for total media control.

  41. b waghorn 41

    I’m so proud of my mini me right now I could just hug him to bits.
    ( thinks key)

  42. rod 42

    Some people may say that TV3’s News and Current Affairs will be fully controlled by the National Government and it’s lackey’s and puppets. I couldn’t possibly comment,

  43. North 43

    “Yeah well Wegewege called from Florida – near Cuba. Said John needed a hand so I came straight down. Oh he’s OK, don’t worry about it. He’s Just sulking. Winston called him a 13,000 vote epic-fail-fuckwit and it’s taking time……you know,…..expunge the facts.”

    “Anyway, let me introduce the Prime Minster Mr ShonKey Python…….fresh from Melbourne – near Northland.”

  44. Atiawa 44

    I’m the ‘block, he’s the butcher.

  45. Chrys Berryman 45

    “oh shit I don’t have a pulse,Mark help me here,I don’t have a pulse!!!….shit if I hav’nt got a pulse it means I don’t have a heart!!!!,god Mark this means I’m a heartless neo lib like you……

  46. cogito 46

    Weldon: “never mind the truth, count the money”

  47. freedom 47

    “I don’t even have a phone”

  48. Ecosse_Maidy 48

    Thank you I am honoured to have finished second in Bastard of The Year competition…

    Yet I can now reveal the winner is………………

  49. Ecosse_Maidy 49

    CEO Keys, What a fooking rank amateur,,,,,
    Just look at him, he ain’t no professional,,,,,
    ,Hes lying without the use of a auto cue….

    How damn demeaning to our profession!!!!

  50. Ecosse_Maidy 50

    Okdokey,,,,The Replacement for Jeremy Fartson is…..

  51. Ecosse_Maidy 51

    Keys thinking………………………….Hell calls himself a member of the conservative elite……There is no way that suit is anywhere near an Armani…….what cheap shit

  52. Ecosse_Maidy 52

    Thank you all for your good wishes,,,,,now John and I are going to enjoy our civil partnership, at your expense with a 2 week golfing honeymoon in Hawaii…

  53. Ecosse_Maidy 53

    Dunce Keys,,, ermm what that sign on his back,,,Kick Em? Ermmmm what is that? oh well it means nothing, i will do my usual nothing

  54. Ecosse_Maidy 54

    Clash Of The “Tie”tans……Yellow Or Blue,,Your Choice or A Referendum

  55. Ecosse_Maidy 55

    CEO Keys, Ha Talk all you like, I pull your strings, you upstart….!

    Ghostly Banker/Business/Elite, Figue Behind Genrillismo Keys,,,,

    Ha!!! Look Smug all you like, we pull your strings Keys…!

  56. Ecosse_Maidy 56

    Lynton Diahorrea Stains Crosby,,, makes rare public appearance behind Keys

Links to post

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Simon Bridges: the 15 March Christchurch massacre and winning at any cost
    . . Just when you thought Simon Bridges couldn’t sink any lower – he has. After the March 15th  Christchurch terror attack, the (current) Leader of the National Party issued strong committments to support urgently needed gun law reform; “We will be ready and prepared to be constructive and to ...
    Frankly SpeakingBy Frank Macskasy
    10 hours ago
  • Only the least intelligent students, with bad parents, will attend the nonsense climate strike
    We all know that bad parents simply don’t care about their children’s education. Most truants have loser parents, and grow up to be involved with crime, or in low paid employment usually like their parents. The nonsense so-called “climate strike” coming up will be attended mostly by the least intelligent ...
    An average kiwiBy admin@averagekiwi.com
    20 hours ago
  • Professional Internet Trolls being used to push manmade climate change lies
    Is the terrorist Organisation Greenpeace and the loony Green parties around the World hiring professional internet trolls? I have noticed a trend lately where if you post research, news articles or even comments that show the manmade climate change scam to be just that, you are immediately attacked, often within ...
    An average kiwiBy admin@averagekiwi.com
    20 hours ago
  • Climate Change: Strike!
    Today is the first day of the global climate strike. Led by schoolkids, people all around the world are going to protest to demand action on climate change. New Zealand isn't doing it till next Friday (join us!), but if you want to get active early, there's plenty to do ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 day ago
  • Climate Change: Squandering our opportunity?
    The Herald has a story today about the 400 MW of wind power currently under construction. Good news, right? Except that none of it is being driven by policy (instead, its about replacing Contact Energy's Taranaki Combined Cycle gas-fired power plant, due to shut down in 2022), and most of ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 day ago
  • Protect The King!
    To Protect and Serve: When the Prime Minister finds herself enmeshed in the coils of a full-blown political scandal, her colleagues and party comrades have only one priority: to release her as swiftly – and with as little lasting injury – as possible. Is this what Jacinda Ardern’s colleagues and ...
    1 day ago
  • The rot at the top.
    When military leaders cover up and lie to elected civilian authorities, the foundation of democratic civil-military relations is undermined because it is those authorities who are entrusted to hold the military accountable to the public that they mutually serve. But this is only true if civilian political authorities take their ...
    KiwipoliticoBy Pablo
    1 day ago
  • Challenging the voting age in court
    The Make It 16 campaign to lower the voting age is launching this afternoon, and they have already announced plans to challenge the law in court:The campaign, named "Make it 16" will launch at Parliament on Friday, with plans to take their case to the High Court, testing the rights ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 day ago
  • Israel’s elections herald a long siesta
    by Daphna Whitmore The long years of Netanyahu’s reign are drawing to an end. For years he has epitomized reactionary zionism as he oversaw hundreds of thousands of Jewish settlers seize land in the West Bank. There are now 700,000 settlers, putting an end to the myth that Israel was ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    1 day ago
  • Petrol companies promise prices will come back down once peace is restored to the Middle East
    BP, Z and Mobil all insist that petrol price hikes are temporary, “in a very literal sense.” The nation’s major petrol providers are trying to allay customer fears over prices, promising that they’ll move to lower them again “immediately” when the Middle East is returned to its formerly peaceful state. ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    2 days ago
  • All Blacks unveil boat for Rugby World Cup 2019
    South African coach Rassie Erasmus says he has no idea what they’re going to do about the boat. In a highly anticipated press conference this afternoon, All Blacks coach Steve Hansen has finally unveiled the team’s boat for its Rugby World Cup 2019 campaign. In a press conference that went ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    2 days ago
  • An increasingly shoddy coverup
    The Operation Burnham inquiry continued to question senior NZDF staff today, and their shoddy coverup over their knowledge of civilian casualties continue to fall apart. If you recall, first, we were asked to believe that it was all a series of "mistakes and errors": a senior officer with multiple degrees ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 days ago
  • If we are to avoid making the earth uninhabitable, we need to rapidly decarbonise our civilisation, and cut emissions to zero as quickly as possible. This seems like an impossible task, but its not. Pushing hard on a few technologies and trends will let us halve emissions in a decade:Greenhouse ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 days ago
  • A further attack on transparency
    The Local Government Act 2002 Amendment Bill (No 2) had part of its committee stage yesterday. its a generally tedious bill about the nitty-gritty of local government reorganisation. But it includes a clause making the Local Government Commission subject to the Ombudsmen Act, and hence the OIA. Great! Except of ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 days ago
  • Ihumātao and Treaty settlements
    Yesterday Ihumātao's mana whenua reached a consensus that they would like their land back, and asked the government to negotiate with Fletcher's for its return. The government's response? Try and undermine that consensus, while talking about how doing anything would undermine existing Treaty settlements. The first is just more bad ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 days ago
  • Protecting our history
    Its Suffrage Day, the 126th anniversary of women winning the right to vote (but not stand in elections) in New Zealand. And to celebrate, the government has bought Kate Sheppard's house in Christchurch:The government has bought Kate Sheppard's former home in Christchurch for more than $4 million. The Ilam villa ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 days ago
  • Climate Change: Ostracising the coal-burners
    The UN climate summit is happening in new York next week, and unlike previous years, coal-burners and denier-states are not being invited to speak:Leading economies such as Japan and Australia will not be invited to speak at next week’s crunch UN climate change summit, as their continued support for coal ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 days ago
  • Jojo Tamihere Salutes Herr Goff.
    Get Back Jojo! The elation in Mayor Phil Goff’s camp may be easily imagined as they watched social media light up in indignation at challenger John Tamihere’s "Sieg Heil to that" quip. Just when JT’s notoriously right-wing, sexist and homophobic stains were beginning to fade back into his ‘colourful’ past, ...
    2 days ago
  • Hard News: A fun but flawed weed documentary
    Patrick Gower is good value when he's high. Not that I've ever, you know, got stoned with him. But in the second part of his documentary Patrick Gower on Weed, he does what you'd expect in a modern weed documentary and immerses himself – first with a doctor, then a ...
    3 days ago
  • Candidate Survey: Western Bay of Plenty – Local Body Elections 2019
    We surveyed candidates on their attitudes to issues facing the Western Bay Region, find out what they think: “Closing the Gap” Tauranga, one of the area groups of Income Equality Aotearoa NZ Inc., has surveyed all candidates in the three local body elections to discover attitudes to some basic issues ...
    Closing the GapBy Tracey Sharp
    3 days ago
  • Project Nettie calls on scientists to defend biology
    Please spread widely, and sign, to support science and rationalism over the new irrationalism sweeping universities and institutions.  PROJECT NETTIE Sexual reproduction, the generation of offspring by fusion of genetic material from two different individuals, evolved over 1 billion years ago. It is the reproductive strategy of all higher animals ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    3 days ago
  • I’m glad I don’t live in Auckland
    Just when I was thinking that Palmerston North's mayoral race (which includes a convicted child molester / public wanker and a convicted child beater) was the worst in the country, Auckland mayoral candidate John Tamihere opened his mouth:Auckland mayoral candidate John Tamihere is being slammed for using the words "sieg ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    3 days ago
  • Index of Power Update, 2018-19: China #2
    We reprint below an article from the excellent website the Economics of Imperialism by Tony Norfield This is an update of the statistics for my Index of Power, using data for 2018-19 and discussing what a country’s ranking reflects. The major change is that China’s rank has shifted up and ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    3 days ago
  • Climate Change: A history lesson
    Why is New Zealand climate change policy so crap? The Herald this morning has a long article on the twists and turns of climate change policy in New Zealand [paywalled / depaywall script], which shows where we've been. The short version is that the government first began worrying about this ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    3 days ago
  • What the All Blacks Mean to Us
    The All Blacks have been, for more than a century, arguably the most successful International sports team in the world. But they are more than that; even for those Kiwis who are immune to the charms of rugby (and there are more than a few), the All Blacks are ambassadors ...
    Bryan GouldBy Bryan Gould
    3 days ago
  • No one is born into the wrong body
    A short and incredibly powerful speech from a young lesbian woman. No one is born in the wrong body. ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    4 days ago
  • Contempt
    Back in June, the UK Court of Appeal ruled that that country's continued arms sales to Saudi Arabia were unlawful. So you'd expect that the UK government stopped approving them, right?Of course not:The government has apologised for breaching a court ruling against the sale of weapons to Saudi Arabia that ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    4 days ago
  • Covering up the cover-up
    Yesterday NZDF officials were put on the stand about the lies they had told over Operation Burnham, making implausible claims that it was all a big mistake. But along the way, we learned they had already been put on the spot about it by a previous Defence Minister, who had ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    4 days ago
  • Not as important as they think they are
    Farmers have been whining a lot lately, about the methane targets in the Zero Carbon Bill, about Canterbury's proposed nitrogen limits, and about the government's new proposals to stop them from shitting in our lakes and rivers. These policies are "throwing farmers under the tractor", they will force farmers off ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    4 days ago
  • Behind Every Good Woman Should Stand – Another Good Woman.
    Alone, Alone, All, All, Alone: To argue that the Prime Minister is the victim of her advisers’ failure to keep her informed may offer Jacinda some measure of exoneration – but only at the cost of casting her as a hopeless political ingénue. A star-dusted muppet, whose only purpose is to ...
    4 days ago
  • Poor quality, poorly educated kiddie ‘Journalists’ spreading fake news
    In times of hysteria about the “World coming to an end” and “rising sea levels” so-called ‘Journalists’ who can barely spell words longer than four letters are having a ball! Though the majority of the Public have worked out that manmade climate change is nothing short of pseudo-science, and the ...
    An average kiwiBy admin@averagekiwi.com
    4 days ago
  • Chris Trotter on the BFD
    I don't want to give pblicity to certain parts of the internet that are better left to fester in their own irrelevance (I know, a bit like this place) but the listing of Chris Trotter as a 'author' on Cameron Slater's spinoff website, the BFD requires some explanation.Now, I don't ...
    5 days ago
  • Sex is not a spectrum
    The text below is a Twitter thread by Heather Heying that explains the essence of sexual reproduction and it long evolutionary history. She is an evolutionary biologist and a “professor-in-exile” after she and her husband, Bret Weinstein, stood up to supporters of an enforced “Day of Absence” for white staff and teachers ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    5 days ago
  • Climate Change: Trees, aviation, and offsets
    With crunch time for new Zealand climate policy approaching, most of the New Zealand media have got on board with a global reporting effort to cover the issue. There's one strand of stories today about polling and what it shows about changing public attitudes to the crisis, but the strand ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    5 days ago
  • Pissing-Off The Israelis Is A High-Risk Strategy.
    Dangerous Foes: For those readers of Bowalley Road who feel disposed to dismiss any prospect of an Israeli destabilisation of New Zealand politics, the example of the United Kingdom repays close attention. Ever since the election of Jeremy Corbyn as leader of the British Labour Party, the Israelis have sanctioned, funded and ...
    5 days ago
  • Something to go to in Wellington
    Make It 16, the youth-led campaign to lower New Zealand's voting age, is holding an official campaign launch at Parliament this Friday from 16:30. If you'd like to attend, you can register using EventBrite here. ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    5 days ago
  • A founding member responds to Peace Action Wellington
    by Don Franks It was a lovely sunny Wellington afternoon with blue skies above  the beaches.  In Courtenay Place, political activists packed out a stuffy upstairs room for an important meeting. The assembled pacifists, anarchists, communists and independent young radicals of Peace Action Wellington felt the need for a mission ...
    RedlineBy Admin
    5 days ago
  • “Mistakes and errors”
    Current and former NZDF top brass are being publicly grilled this week by the hit and run inquiry over their public responses to allegations of civilian casualties. Previously, they've claimed there were no casualties, a position which led them to lie to Ministers and to the public. Now, they're saying ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    5 days ago
  • “Homosexuality is same-sex attraction and relationships, not heterosexuals with delusions of gende...
    by Rafael D. Quiles (gender-critical gay man from Puerto Rico) The writing on the wall is right in people’s faces and people just don’t see it or don’t want to. What could actually possess a heterosexual male to want to feminize himself and claim that he is a lesbian? Because ...
    RedlineBy Admin
    6 days ago
  • Trump: “Where’s my favourite dictator?”
    From the Wall Street Journal:Inside a room of the ornately decorated Hotel du Palais during last month’s Group of Seven summit in Biarritz, France, President Trump awaited a meeting with Egyptian President Abdel Fattah Al Sisi. Mr. Trump looked over a gathering of American and Egyptian officials and called out in ...
    6 days ago
  • Magdalen Burns, 1983-2019, fighter for women’s liberation
    by the Redline blog collective At Redline we are very saddened to hear of the death of Magdalen Burns who passed away on the morning of Friday, September 13 (British time). Magdalen was a great fighter for the rights of women in general and lesbian women in particular, a defender ...
    RedlineBy Admin
    7 days ago
  • Parliament and the Executive
    The Brexit issue has certainly brought with it a series of apparently difficult constitutional issues, many of them concerning the respective roles of the executive and parliament. Most of them arise because of the unwillingness of MPs, despite their professions to the contrary, to be bound by a constitutional rarity ...
    Bryan GouldBy Bryan Gould
    1 week ago
  • The Abigail Article; Martyn Bradbury’s Article, and My Response
    . . This blogpost is different to my usual format of reporting on issues… Since July 1011, I have blogged on a variety of political issues; near always political and/or environmental; mostly highly critical of the previous National Government. Other issues included Israeli occupation of Palestinian lands and repression of ...
    Frankly SpeakingBy Frank Macskasy
    1 week ago
  • Police will have to wear silly Buckingham Palace hats from now on, says Police Minister
    Those close to the Police Minister believe the initiative may be the result of Nash “seeing a great deal” on AliExpress. In a move that comes seemingly out of nowhere, Police Minister Stuart Nash announced this afternoon that he expects all frontline staff to don bearskin hats, famously worn by ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    1 week ago
  • A sensible crackdown
    The government has released its Arms Legislation Bill, containing the second tranche of changes to gun laws following the March 15 massacre. And it all looks quite sensible: a national gun register, higher penalties for illegal possession and dealing, tighter restrictions on arms dealers and shooting clubs, and a shorter ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • California bans private prisons
    Private prisons are a stain on humanity. Prison operators explicitly profit from human misery, then lobby for longer prisons terms so they can keep on profiting. And in the US, prison companies run not only local and state prisons, but also Donald Trump's immigration concentration camps. Faced with this moral ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Why PPPs are a bad idea
    When National was in power, they were very keen on Public-Private Partnerships (PPPs) - basicly, using private companies to finance public infrastructure as a way of hiding debt from the public. They were keen on using them for everything - roads, schools, hospitals. But as the UK shows, that "service" ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • A Movement That No Longer Moves.
    Moving And Shaking: There was a time when people spoke matter-of-factly about the “labour movement” – a political phenomenon understood to embrace much more than the Labour Party. Included within the term’s definition was the whole trade union movement – many of whose members looked upon the Labour Party as ...
    1 week ago
  • NZ ‘left’ politically embracing extreme postmodernism
    by Philip Ferguson Much of the left, even people who formally identify as marxists, have collapsed politically in the face of postmodern gender theory of the sort pioneered by American philosopher Judith Butler. For Butler even biological sex is socially constructed. “If the immutable character of sex is contested, perhaps ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    1 week ago
  • The obvious question
    The media is reporting that the (alleged) Labour party sexual assaulter has resigned from their job at Parliament, which means hopefully he won't be turning up there making people feel unsafe in future. Good. But as with everything about this scandal, it just raises other questions. Most significantly: why the ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • The moment I found out that you found out, I acted swiftly
    By Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern I am every bit as angry as you are. I am every bit as disappointed as you must be. The people with power, oversight and the ability to do something about these processes within the Labour Party should be ashamed. Whoever those people are, I ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    1 week ago
  • This is why people hate property developers
    Property developers think there is an "oversupply" of houses in Auckland:High turnover rates and falling prices may be a sign that there are too many new houses going in to some parts of Auckland, commentators say. [...] Property developer David Whitburn said there was a "bit of an oversupply" in ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Australia to Pacific: “Fuck you, you can all drown”
    World leaders are meeting in New York in two weeks for the 2019 Climate Action Summit, where they are expected to announce new and more ambitious targets to stop the world from burning. But the Australian Prime Minister won't be there, despite being in the USA at the time:Scott Morrison ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Implausible ignorance
    Labour Party president Nigel Haworth resigned yesterday over the party's sexual assault scandal. But while that's good news, its unlikely to take away the stench of a coverup. Because according to Paula Bennett in Parliament yesterday, pretty much everyone in the Prime Minister's office was involved as well:I have been ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Labour’s Fatal Flaw.
     Two-Faced? Labour insiders' commitment to the neoliberal status quo puts them at odds with their party’s membership; its trade union affiliates; and a majority of Labour voters, but this only serves to strengthen the perception they have of themselves as a special elite. Among the lesser breeds, they’ll talk up a ...
    1 week ago
  • Ten reasons the Tories do NOT want an election
    There has been a lot of talk about Boris Johnson wanting an election, and he has blustered with great gusto about 'chicken' Jeremy Corbyn refusing one, but I think there are many reasons why he is secretly glad he has been refused the opportunity:The Tories are an utter rabble,tearing themselves ...
    1 week ago
  • Prorogation Illegal, rule Scottish judges
    Scottish appeal court judges have declared that Boris Johnson’s decision to suspend parliament in the run-up to the October Brexit deadline is unlawful. The three judges, chaired by Lord Carloway, Scotland’s most senior judge, overturned an earlier ruling that the courts did not have the powers to interfere in the prime ...
    1 week ago
  • Let me explain what I meant by Everyday New Zealanders
    By Simon Bridges. The following is a press release from the office of Simon Bridges, leader of The National Party. Key ora, New Zealand. Happy Maori Language Week. Look, I’m writing to you today because I want to clear something up. There’s been a lot of kerfuffle around some things ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    1 week ago
  • Yes, the SIS is subject to the Public Records Act
    I understand there's some stuff going round about how the SIS "was removed from the list of public offices covered by the Public Records Act in 2017". The context of course being their records derived from US torture, which will be disposed of or sealed. The good news is that ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • An evidence-based discussion of the Canadian fluoride/IQ study
    Dr. Christopher Labos and Jonathan Jarry discuss the recent Canadian fluoride/IQ research. They provide an expert analysis of the paper and its problems. Click on image to go to podcast. The critical debate about the recent ...
    1 week ago
  • Climate Change: Australia in denial
    Australia is burning down again, and meanwhile its natural disaster minister is denying climate change:Australia’s minister responsible for drought and natural disasters, David Littleproud, has said that he doesn’t “know if climate change is manmade”. Clarifying earlier comments that the question is “irrelevant” when considering the Coalition government’s response to ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Philippines activist speaking on the Duterte tyranny
    Auckland Philippines Solidarity is excited to host Professor Judy Taguiwalo for a speaking tour of NZ in September. She is a well-known activist in the Philippines and was a political prisoner under the Marcos dictatorship. Professor Taguiwalo briefly served as a Cabinet member under President Duterte but was forced from ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    1 week ago
  • Disgust
    I have no special insights to offer on the Labour sexual assault coverup. All I have is disgust. Disgust that an organisation could fail its people so badly. Disgust that they punished the victims rather than the perpetrator. Disgust that its party hacks are apparently blaming the victims for demanding ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Speak Up for Women calls out Greens’ censorship
    This open letter to the Green Party was penned after an opinion piece by Jill Abigail, a feminist and founding member of the party, was censored by the Greens’ leadership. (Redline has reprinted her article here).The intolerance of the Green Party leaders and their acceptance of the misogyny of gender ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    1 week ago
  • Member’s Day: End of Life Choice, part 3
    Today is a Member's day, and David Seymour's End of Life Choice Bill continues its slow crawl through its committee stage. They're spending the whole day on it today, though the first hour is likely to be spent on voting left over from last time. After that they'll move on ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Flight to Los Angeles turned back after passengers decide they don’t want to go anymore
    An ambitious plan to fly to Los Angeles petered out into a brief sight-seeing trip and a desire to return home and get some sleep before work tomorrow. Air New Zealand has confirmed a flight to Los Angeles last night was turned back about a quarter of the way into ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    2 weeks ago
  • Indigenous Futures: defuturing and futuring – an analytical framework for policy development?
    There appears to be consensus – by omission – that the concept of indigenous futures should be accepted at face value. So I scavenged the internet to see if I could locate an academic descriptor or a framework around how we think about it as a concept, and whether it ...
    EllipsisterBy Ellipsister
    2 weeks ago
  • Cadbury rumoured to be releasing the Pineapple Trump
    Here’s another novelty chocolate to shove in your gob, New Zealand Cadbury could be seeking to make itself great again with a rumoured new release: Pineapple Trumps, a spin on its classic chocolate-encased pineapple treat and do-it-yourself tooth remover. The global confectionery manufacturer and bumbling “before” character in an infomercial, ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    2 weeks ago
  • The coming resource war.
    During my time in the Pentagon I had the privilege of sitting down with military leaders and defence and security officials from a variety of Latin American nations. Sometimes I was present as a subordinate assistant to a senior US defence department official, sometimes as part of a delegation that ...
    KiwipoliticoBy Pablo
    2 weeks ago
  • Māori Language Week with The Civilian
    Kia ora, Aotearoa. It’s that magical time of year. Te Wiki o te Reo Māori. In English, the week that frightens talk radio. As you probably know by now, all your favourite media outlets are participating, some more successfully than others. Stuff has changed its name to Puna for the ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    2 weeks ago
  • Will Horizons act on climate change?
    Local body elections are coming up next month. And it looks like all Palmerston North candidates for Horizons (the Manawatu-Whanganui Regional Council) want to take action on climate change:Climate change is set to be a key issue in Palmerston North for the next three years if those wanting to get ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • BORA reform is stalled
    Eighteen months ago, the government promised to strengthen the Bill of Rights Act, by explicitly affirming the power of the courts to issue declarations of inconsistency and requiring Parliament to formally respond to them. So how's that going? I was curious, so I asked for all advice about the proposal. ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Corbyn and Brexit
    As the Brexit saga staggers on, the focus is naturally enough on the Prime Minister and his attempts to achieve Brexit “do or die”. But the role played by the Leader of the Opposition is of almost equal interest and complexity. The first problem for Jeremy Corbyn is that he ...
    Bryan GouldBy Bryan Gould
    2 weeks ago
  • A ditch for him to die in
    Last week, English Prime Minister Boris Johnson boldly declared that he would rather die be dead in a ditch than delay Brexit. Unfortunately for him, the UK parliament accepted the challenge, and promptly dug one for him. The "rebellion bill" requires him to ask for and secure yet another temporary ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Warning! Warning! Danger Jacinda Ardern! Danger Marama Davidson! Warning!
    Lost In Political Space: The most important takeaway from this latest Labour sexual assault scandal, which (if I may paraphrase Nixon’s White House counsel’s, John Dean’s, infamous description of Watergate) is “growing like a cancer” on the premiership, is the Labour Party organisation’s extraordinary professional paralysis in the face of ...
    2 weeks ago

No feed items found.