Caption competition

Written By: - Date published: 2:36 pm, June 10th, 2015 - 45 comments
Categories: caption contest - Tags:

Via David Slack:

key-scissors

45 comments on “Caption competition”

  1. Now where can I find a pony tail!?!

  2. Hayden 2

    This is how you hold them, right?

  3. Andre 3

    Federated Farmers give Key the tools to stab NZ taxpayers in the back

  4. Andre 4

    Thankyou… Judith will love these to stab me in the back

  5. tc 5

    NZ stand up comedian looks on at the highest paid clown in the land.

  6. I failed the hammer test, how the hell do I use these?

  7. risildowgtn 7

    Are these Def the last pair of scissors in NZ??

    Hand those rubber band hair ties out now

  8. Craig Glen Eden 8

    Radar uses his mind control skills over fellow stand up comedian John Key

    Radar: go on John Stab your self
    John Key: First I lost my memory now Im losing control of my mind arrrgggh help.

  9. Joy Clark 9

    “I got these scissors from Lorena Bobbitt”

  10. mikesh 10

    I won’t need these for the dairy farmers’ haircut.

  11. Mrs Brillo 11

    We’re taking suggestions from the floor: Which public services will we cut next?

  12. Charles 12

    Idiots spell-bound as idiot demonstrates unknown idiocy.

    (Photo by Rachel Glucina)

  13. Atiawa 13

    “Andrew Little gave me these.”

  14. Atiawa 14

    ” Fieldays and the National government share a common slogan – Stay a step ahead of the sheep.”

  15. r0b 15

    I think Grant Robertson just won best caption of the day!

  16. Bourbonjon 16

    What do you think, are tax cuts on, Radar? Really?

  17. JeevesPOnzi 17

    “We’ll need bigger ones for the cuts we’re planning.”

  18. Clemgeopin 18

    ‘Hey, I am not sure why you have given me this dangerous weapon! I want to reassure you all, frankly, that at the end of the day, I am awktully a habitual horrible hair puller, but certainly not a hair cutting hound of the Baskervilles! Not yet, anyway!’

  19. b waghorn 19

    I wonder if these could remove hoskings lips from my…..

  20. mac1 20

    “Oooh, yuck, RED handles. Mustn’t touch.”

  21. Hateatea 21

    Judith, I have something for you. Where do you want it?

  22. notgoblin 22

    Oooo what tantil-lithing thithuzz

  23. repateet 23

    “I’m cutting through the crap – that’s why they’re aimed at the mouth.”

  24. Paul Campbell 24

    Pinocchio contemplates his future

  25. Ben 25

    “I cut short the careers of Clark, Goff, Shearer, Cunliffe, Norman, and I just got this new red pair for Little.”

  26. philj 26

    Where’s my paper and rock? I am soo funny!

  27. Incognito 27

    Edward Scissorhands 2 starring the famous B-grade actor Johnny Key.

  28. Incognito 28

    The Smiling Hairdresser.

  29. Incognito 29

    A quote from the movie Dirty Johnny starring the famous B-grade actor Johnny Key as himself:

    ”Uh uh. I know what you’re thinking. “Did he cut six times or only five?” Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being this is a .44 Magnum Scissor, the most powerful pair of scissors in the world and would cut you head clean off, you’ve gotta ask yourself one question: “Do I feel lucky?” Well, do ya, punk?

  30. ropata 30

    “with these giant scissors i will cut out all environment laws and the RMA, so that we can have 100% polluted streams and rivers. Yay dirty dairy and dirty politics!”

  31. Sable 31

    Health cuts, education cuts, current affairs cuts, HAIR CUTS……

  32. Capn Insano 32

    ‘Shortly after this picture was taken, the Prime Minister had jumped off the stage and proceeded to run with the scissors while shouting “Austerity Measures!”‘

  33. Clemgeopin 33

    ‘With this formidable pair of scissors, I intend committing my own self-circumcision. Everyone is welcome to ‘show some guts’ and watch the cutting at the CCFAC (Cabinet Cash For Access Club) buffet dinner. Tickets at only $1,500 + GST, per head!’

    *Contact Spark for details and also go into a draw for a dainty carry case massaged in secret w-oil.

  34. Bert 34

    “I’ll cut through the red tape surrounding the tpp and if that doesn’t work at least I still have the tools too NZ all a big favour”

  35. ianmac 35

    Note that “funny” Radar chappie sitting high and proud at the top table? Remember 2008 when Radar was helping English promote the shower anti Labour mockery?

  36. SMILIN 36

    “Thats right this is the pair of scissors I used to cut govt spending with since 2008 Id almost thought Id lost them”
    “Geez thanks “

  37. Bert 37

    “Cut this, cut that, hell, I’d cut my own daughters ponytail if she’d just put some clothes on!

  38. Treetop 38

    The size of these sissors is relative to the cut in price for a kg of milk solids.

    Don’t count on the government to bail you out, we have not yet made a budget surplus in the last 7 budgets.

    I hope you feilday cockies have a sense of humour.

    Stay a step ahead of Fontera.

  39. Treetop 39

    Fonterra

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