web analytics

Caption competition

Written By: - Date published: 12:11 pm, February 20th, 2016 - 65 comments
Categories: caption contest - Tags:


65 comments on “Caption competition ”

  1. Just this little bit more debt and I can start to privatize the ACC. Suckers!

  2. ropata 2

    Yes, I’ve sold off all of our public assets but look! I have these invisible magic beans!

  3. Ben 3

    The Standard is not this influential.

  4. Hami Shearlie 4

    I only leaked to Patrick Gower this much!!!

  5. yeah it was a tiddler but at least I caught it and no I didn’t have my measuring stick officer

  6. maui 6

    It was only when English started casting animal shadow figures on the overhead projector that New Zealanders knew that this year’s budget probably had some holes in it.

  7. Kat 7

    Joyce reckons Key’s is actually only this big and nothing like the one he is associated with.

  8. tc 8

    Yup this is about how much we care about ordinary kiwis however seasonally adjusted it may reduce, you be the judge as we really don’t give a rats arse.

  9. Macro 9

    Bill “And as usual we reckon govt debt this year will be about this big”

  10. Chrys Berryman 10

    “the gap between the rich and poor in the 1950s was this big……we were the wealthiest
    country in the world ,with almost zero unemployment……..look how badly me and my neo-liberal mates have fucked up.”…[Bill speaking after swallowing a truth serum by mistake]

  11. fender 11

    We won’t stop our terror until everyone receiving a WINZ benefit feels this big.

  12. gsays 12

    “minister, how big will national debt be come election time?”

    “pretty small”

  13. Stuart Munro 13

    We only missed by this much – we’ll be in surplus next year for sure.

  14. fender 14

    The most accomplished Double-Dippers can pick noses with two digits simultaneously.

  15. ianmac 15

    When I was in the shower with him I was shocked to find he was only this big.

  16. fender 16

    Yes it’s true, Judith [poor taste]

  17. Barfly 17

    “Yes having a micro penis is a serious medical condition”

  18. Dot 18

    Look we are only this far off reaching a surplus

  19. NZJester 19

    This is how much I know about being a good finance minister.

  20. Treetop 20

    When we are finished with Housing New Zealand, it will be this big.

    We only have this much to go to before we start the demolition of Housing New Zealand.

  21. Richard Geismar 21

    I had my boss but was left disappointed.

  22. Smilin 22

    Youve got about this much milk left at the end of the week if your lucky and thats as good as is gets for you lot

  23. Ben 23

    Labour has this much chance of winning the next election.

  24. live short and don’t prosper

  25. BLiP 25

    Your brighter future is this big.

  26. Chooky 26

    to tell the truth by working with John Key and trying to smile and agree ….my brain is shrinking to the size of a walnut

    …not to mention the shrinking of my other organs…it will be soon time to retire…unless Judith can do something about the bastard

  27. b waghorn 27

    “That’s the size of my self respect after 7 years doing keys dirty work”

  28. rask004 28

    “This is how much more excuse we can pull out of our arses, and how much more debt we’re going to shove into yours.”

  29. joe90 29

    Six inches forward and five inches back
    I got a
    I got an angry inch
    Six inches forward and five inches back
    I got a
    I got an angry inch

  30. Sutton's li'l helper 30

    Notorious gangster confirms his membership of the ‘crips’

  31. mary_a 31

    This is about the size of the intelligence level of the combined NatzKEY caucus!

  32. jellytussle 32

    The reason we all share Joyce’s dildo is because the average prick size of the caucus is only this big.

  33. thechangeling 33

    “The 1% have only got this much to go before they have everything wrapped up!”.

  34. AB 34

    This is the size of the floor plan for the new state houses we will be offering.

  35. AB 35

    The $900/week I claimed by pretending to live in Dipton was not real stealing, well maybe a tiny bit

  36. AB 36

    We made a list of the National Party’s principles. It was this long.

  37. AB 37

    As a Catholic myself I admire Pope Francis this much.

  38. AB 38

    I care about inequality this much

  39. whateva next? 39

    “This ………is how much I care”

  40. Ecosse_Maidy 40

    Look! I was there! I was actually on the course! The Supreme Leader was this close to a hole in one….!!

  41. Ecosse_Maidy 41

    With this personalised stun grip……….I have nearly silenced whale oil and pete george…..i can get to stun level 10 if i really concentrate

  42. Ecosse_Maidy 42

    Wellington National HQ 2017. Due to the abolition of the electoral commision, due to cuts…….The new method of calculating who won and by how much was un veiled…..”Trust In Us, We Won By This Much! Plus No Appeals!”

  43. Ecosse_Maidy 43

    Wellington National HQ 2017. Due to the abolition of the electoral commision, due to cuts…….The new method of calculating who won and by how much was un veiled…..”Trust In Us, We Won By This Much! Plus No Appeals!”

  44. Ecosse_Maidy 44

    Sock Puppet Convention, goes ahead inspite of being blighted by opportunist burglars

  45. Ecosse_Maidy 45

    I have met both blokes, its so unfair and I have seen with my own eyes, they this much natural hair left, so lets not talk disparagingly of John & Donald……

  46. Ecosse_Maidy 46

    Trust me,,again…I can open the top of a bottle of beer, without an opener,,like this!!!

  47. Ecosse_Maidy 47

    I only drank this mush officcer?….hic

  48. Ecosse_Maidy 48

    National Bans Breathlizer and shows off new self assessment method to be employed

  49. Ecosse_Maidy 49

    I am not saying the leader of the labour party aint one of the lads yet on an all party night out he left this much in his pint glass!!!!

  50. Ecosse_Maidy 50

    Minister, shows off NZ sign language, new signing for “Complete Arsehole!”

  51. Ecosse_Maidy 51

    You should see me when they let me use both hands!!!

  52. Ecosse_Maidy 52

    John and came this close to selling off to the Russians..

    but Fiji got in first!

  53. Ecosse_Maidy 53

    Hang on,,please wait,,,,I managed it yesterday,,
    i can do a bunny rabbit shadow too!!!

  54. Ecosse_Maidy 54

    rock, paper, something i forget!

  55. Incognito 55

    ”You can tell John is lying when his nose is about this long. In fact, I’ve never seen it any shorter than this!”

  56. humPrac 56

    Bill demonstrates that if you give National an inch, they will take a mile.

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Put our most vulnerable first
    Don’t forget whānau and communities most at risk, says the Green Party, as the Government lays out its three-phase plan for Omicron. ...
    12 hours ago
  • Boosting our immunity against Omicron
    With Omicron in the community, it’s vital we all do our bit to help to slow the spread, keep each other safe and protect our health system. One of the most important ways we can reduce the risk of Omicron is to get a booster dose as soon as we’re ...
    18 hours ago
  • Equitable response to Omicron vital
    The Green Party supports the Government’s decision to move Aotearoa New Zealand to traffic light level Red at 11.59pm tonight, but says its success will depend on the support that is made available to the most vulnerable. ...
    4 days ago
  • How we’re preparing for Omicron
    As countries around the world experience Omicron outbreaks, we’re taking steps now to ensure we’re as prepared as possible and our communities are protected. ...
    7 days ago
  • What’s Labour achieved so far?
    Quite a bit! This Government was elected to take on the toughest issues facing Aotearoa – and that’s what we’re doing. Since the start of the pandemic, protecting lives and livelihoods has been a priority, but we’ve also made progress on long-term challenges, to deliver a future the next generation ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Tackling the big issues in 2022
    This year, keeping Kiwis safe from COVID will remain a key priority of the Government – but we’re also pushing ahead on some of New Zealand’s biggest long-term challenges. In 2022, we’re working to get more Kiwis into homes, reduce emissions, lift children out of poverty, and ensure people get ...
    2 weeks ago

  • Government announces three phase public health response to Omicron
    Reducing isolation period for cases and close contacts at Phase Two and Three to 10 and seven days Definition of close contact required to isolate changes to household or household like contacts at Phase Three Increased use of rapid antigen tests with test to return policy put in place for ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    16 hours ago
  • New Ambassador to Thailand announced
    Foreign Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta today announced the appointment of Jonathan Kings as New Zealand’s next Ambassador to Thailand. “Aotearoa New Zealand has a long-standing relationship with Thailand, celebrating the 65th anniversary of diplomatic representation between our countries in 2021. We also share much in common at regional and multilateral levels ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    18 hours ago
  • Government’s Family Package continues to deliver for New Zealanders
    The Families Package helped around 330,000 families in its first year - more than half of all families with children in NZ These families received an estimated $55 per week more from Families Package payments in 2018/19 than in 2017/18, on average Families Package increases to the maximum possible Accommodation ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    20 hours ago
  • New Zealand retains top spot in global anti-corruption rankings
    Justice Minister Kris Faafoi has welcomed news of New Zealand’s ongoing position as top in the world anti-corruption rankings. The 2021 Corruption Perceptions Index released by global anti-corruption organisation, Transparency International, ranks New Zealand first equal with Denmark and Finland, with a score of 88 out of 100. “This is an ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Testing improvements see New Zealand well prepared for Omicron
    New Zealand’s PCR testing capacity can be increased by nearly 20,000 tests per day to deal with a surge in cases as part of our wider COVID-19 testing strategy, Associate Minister of Health Dr Ayesha Verrall said. “We have continued to adapt our public health response to safeguard the health ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • 5,000 portable air cleaners for schools on their way
    As schools are preparing to return, Education Minister Chris Hipkins has announced 5,000 air cleaners have been ordered for New Zealand schools. “As we know, along with vaccination, testing, good hygiene and physical distancing, good ventilation is important in minimising the risk of airborne transmission of the virus that causes ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • New Zealand to move to Red from 11.59pm today
    All of New Zealand will move to the Red setting of the Covid Protection Framework (CPF) at 11:59pm today as Omicron is potentially now transmitting in the community, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern says. “Nine COVID-19 cases reported yesterday in the Nelson/Marlborough region are now confirmed as Omicron, and a further ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Mandatory boosters for key workforces progressing well
    More than 5,785 (82%) border workers eligible for a booster vaccination at 6 months have received it so far, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins says. “That’s a really strong uptake considering we announced the requirement the week before Christmas, but we need to continue this momentum,” Chris Hipkins said. “We ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • NZ to move to Red
    Nine COVID-19 cases reported yesterday in the Nelson/Marlborough region have now been confirmed as the Omicron variant, and a further case from the same household was confirmed late yesterday. These cases are in a single family that flew to Auckland on 13 January to attend a wedding and other events ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • New Zealand to provide further help for Tonga
    Aotearoa New Zealand is giving an additional $2 million in humanitarian funding for Tonga as the country recovers from a volcanic eruption and tsunami last weekend, Foreign Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta and Defence Minister Peeni Henare said today. This brings Aotearoa New Zealand’s contribution to $3 million. “This support will ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Quarterly benefit numbers show highest number of exits into work
    The Government’s strong focus on supporting more people into work is reflected in benefit figures released today which show a year-on-year fall of around 21,300 people receiving a main benefit in the December 2021 quarter, Minister for Social Development and Employment Carmel Sepuloni said. “Our response to COVID has helped ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Northland to move to Orange, NZ prepared for Omicron 
    Northland to move to Orange Rest of New Zealand stays at Orange in preparedness for Omicron All of New Zealand to move into Red in the event of Omicron community outbreak – no use of lockdowns Govt planning well advanced – new case management, close contact definition and testing rules ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • RNZAF C-130 Hercules flight departs for Tonga as Navy vessels draw nearer to Tongatapu
    A Royal New Zealand Air Force C-130 Hercules has departed Base Auckland Whenuapai for Tonga carrying aid supplies, as the New Zealand aid effort ramps up, Foreign Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta and Defence Minister Peeni Henare said today. “The aircraft is carrying humanitarian aid and disaster relief supplies, including water ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • New Zealand prepared to send support to Tonga
    New Zealand is ready to assist Tonga in its recovery from Saturday night’s undersea eruption and tsunami, Foreign Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta and Defence Minister Peeni Henare said today. “Following the successful surveillance and reconnaissance flight of a New Zealand P-3K2 Orion on Monday, imagery and details have been sent ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Aotearoa New Zealand stands ready to assist people of Tonga
    The thoughts of New Zealanders are with the people of Tonga following yesterday’s undersea volcanic eruption and subsequent tsunami waves, Foreign Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta says. “Damage assessments are under way and New Zealand has formally offered to provide assistance to Tonga,” said Nanaia Mahuta. New Zealand has made an ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Record high of new homes consented continues
    In the year ended November 2021, 48,522 new homes were consented, up 26 per cent from the November 2020 year. In November 2021, 4,688 new dwellings were consented. Auckland’s new homes consented numbers rose 25 per cent in the last year. Annual figures for the last nine months show more ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Report trumpets scope for ice cream exports
    Latest research into our premium ice cream industry suggests exporters could find new buyers in valuable overseas markets as consumers increasingly look for tip top quality in food. Economic Development Minister Stuart Nash has released a new report for the Food and Beverage Information Project. The project is run by ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Honouring the legacy of legendary kaumātua Muriwai Ihakara
    Associate Minister for Arts, Culture, and Heritage Kiri Allan expressed her great sadness and deepest condolences at the passing of esteemed kaumātua, Muriwai Ihakara. “Muriwai’s passing is not only a loss for the wider creative sector but for all of Aotearoa New Zealand. The country has lost a much beloved ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Have your say on proposed changes to make drinking water safer
    Associate Minister for the Environment Kiri Allan is urging all New Zealanders to give feedback on proposed changes aimed at making drinking water safer. “The current regulations are not fit for purpose and don’t offer enough protection, particularly for those whose water comes from smaller supplies,” Kiri Allan said. “This ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Planting the seeds for rewarding careers
    A boost in funding for a number of Jobs for Nature initiatives across Canterbury will provide sustainable employment opportunities for more than 70 people, Conservation Minister Kiri Allan says. “The six projects are diverse, ranging from establishing coastline trapping in Kaikōura, to setting up a native plant nursery, restoration planting ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • New Zealand congratulates Tonga's new Prime Minister on appointment
    Minister of Foreign Affairs Nanaia Mahuta today congratulated Hon Hu'akavameiliku Siaosi Sovaleni on being appointed Prime Minister of the Kingdom of Tonga. “Aotearoa New Zealand and Tonga have an enduring bond and the Kingdom is one of our closest neighbours in the Pacific. We look forward to working with Prime ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago