Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 10:25 am, May 1st, 2024 - 48 comments
Categories: caption contest, humour, The Standard - Tags:

Keep it seemly.

48 comments on “Caption contest ”

  1. Ffloyd 1

    Oh, my eyes! Can’t unsee it now. Tshirts?Really? Bring back REAL KIWIS and make NZ great again. What a load of bollocks.

  2. Rosielee 2

    Showing off their IQ levels.

  3. roblogic 3

    Competition to see who can be the worst Tory bastard

  4. Jason 4

    Jk : I'm the worst PM ever

    Luxon: Hold my beer or mug, fundamentally I am a mug

  5. weka 5

    Overconfident dudes just before looking into the Total Perspective Vortex.

    • mac1 5.1

      The best current estimate of the number of stars in the universe is from 3 to 100 × 10^22 or between 30 sextillion and 30 septillion.)
      Put that number on a T-shirt!

      Somehow, Weka, the unwoke are not phased by the TPV. They would say, rather, look at the size of the universe orbiting around me at the centre.

      Anyway, the answer is actually 43……..who will that be?

      • weka 5.1.1

        their mistake is that they think they are unphased, but it would still send them mad.

        as an aside, how do we know the universe came into being, rather than always ebing in existence?

        • mac1

          The universe as we know it, Some say what we consider to be the universe is actually part of something bigger; others say we are oscillating in expansion and contraction cycles from Big Bang to Big Bang; other say our universe came from a black hole in another universe.

          Me? I like to sit outside on a New Years' Eve with a wee dram, and just marvel….. and write poems.

          • alwyn

            You used to be able to sit inside, turn on your television and watch the remnants of the Big Bang. When someone told you that there was nothing important ever shown on the TV you could show them the remains of what surely would count as the greatest event ever?

            You saw it when you turned on your old analogue TV (before we had digital versions). About 1% of the "snow" you saw was from the remnant background radiation from the Big Bang

            • mac1

              Yes, alwyn, but such snow was almost as interesting and informative as the Question Time I am trying not to watch right now; whereas a wee dram under the stars does have a certain reflective charm.

          • weka

            so we've always existed? I find this strangely comforting.

    • Obtrectator 5.2

      While on that theme: "so long, and thanks for all the cash".

  6. Phillip urel 6

    Two of the finalists for smirk-of-the-year-award..

  7. That_guy 7

    Key: "Mine should say 51 and yours should say 25, you absolute loser!"

  8. Adders 8

    Man boob skites.

  9. Phillip ure 9

    'thanks…you mugs..'

  10. Drowsy M. Kram 10

    Oh, give me land, lots of land under starry skies above…

    Key: That's not mugging the camera – this is mugging the camera.

    39 couldn't make it – he's busy reviewing Kāinga Ora.

    Hey Chris, that's my tee-shirt, and it's 45%.

  11. Phillip ure 11

    'we're both really really rich ..and you're not….cheers..!'

  12. Phillip ure 12

    'we're just having a bit of a chuckle about those people who voted us in again..

    ..and have now been downsized. ..

    …they are the real mugs..'

  13. bwaghorn 13

    Keep those poll results coming in luxon and I'll have them print no43.

  14. Patricia Bremner 14

    no No to both.

  15. SPC 15

    Bishop son of Bishop wants 43.

    The insolent Epsom tea bag wants 44.

    Only Gerry has the build to be 45. Simeon Brown wants it, but will never measure up.

  16. Phillip ure 16

    'we've done it again..!..

    ..may the rich get richer..(you know the rest .)..heh..!..cheers..!'

  17. Phillip ure 17

    '..we are both living proof that you can fool enough of the people enough of the time..cheers ..!'

  18. Obtrectator 18

    First fat cat: “Our waist measurements ….”
    Second fat cat: ” …. in inches!”

  19. Phillip ure 19

    '.. we're both religious men…we both worship mammon…'

  20. Tiger Mountain 20

    The “gruesome twosome” proudly displaying their burgeoning gut measurements in inches.

    What they really have in common is decades of loyalty to International Capital and Finance Capital.

  21. Phillip ure 21

    Key:..'he's got even more tenants than me…'

  22. Shanreagh 22

    'Let us man-expand this to you'

  23. woodart 23

    42+38= phuck-all.

  24. Corey 24

    "help John, I'm desperate, why does everyone hate me"

  25. Phillip ure 25

    'let's raise a mug to neoliberalism…it made us what we are..!..and it keeps you where you are..'

  26. Descendant Of Smith 26

    The based in the Aotearoa hideaway vaults 38 and 42 emissaries from the enclave i.e. "the rich old bastards who didn't want to give up their power" decided to venture into the wasteland and were somewhat surprised that not everyone was dead.

    As after all in the opinion of the enclave members, they were the greatest assembly of minds on New Zealand soil and all the bottom-feeders should have gone. This revelation of life on the surface would delay the building of their god-ship in which only the exalted would be taken to a better life.

    Thank god they had the Kovac-Peters-Seymour-Muldoon satellite and an army of scorch-beasts, often using a radio-active fog like method of explaining what they are (or are not) thinking, to wreak havoc on the citizens of Aotearoa,

    (Apologies to Fallout).

  27. Obtrectator 27

    42 = Clinton; 38 = Ford.

    Clinton Ford was a UK showbiz personality of days gone by. This seems to me the most fitting selection from his repertoire:

    It's fun to think of ol' Simeon strumming on his uke as the ship – actually a monstrous trimaran – starts to go down ….

  28. mickysavage 28

    Beavis and Butthead.

  29. fender 29

    "These numbers indicate our daily averages for how many times per day we remind ourselves just how fantastically talented, skilled and suited we are to being PM. If you add a zero onto the end of these figures you get the average daily number of times per day we tell ourselves just how lucky you all are that we felt sorry for you all and decided to put you all first by deciding to be your leader(s).

    So get back in the dole queue and reflect on how special we are, and you are not!"

  30. Graeme 30

    Polling when rolled

  31. Ad 31

    Monthly pay as PM.

  32. dv 32

    What do the numbers 42 and 38 mean?

  33. mikesh 33

    42 is the meaning of life according to Doug Adams, but 38? I dunno, John, I reckon that's just another number.

  34. Obtrectator 34

    Ren(t) and StinKey.

  35. roblogic 35

    Via The Daily Blog

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