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notices and features - Date published:
10:25 am, May 1st, 2024 - 48 comments
Categories: caption contest, humour, The Standard -
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Oh, my eyes! Can’t unsee it now. Tshirts?Really? Bring back REAL KIWIS and make NZ great again. What a load of bollocks.
Showing off their IQ levels.
Surely exaggerating said levels?
Competition to see who can be the worst Tory bastard
Jk : I'm the worst PM ever
Luxon: Hold my beer or mug, fundamentally I am a mug
Overconfident dudes just before looking into the Total Perspective Vortex.
The best current estimate of the number of stars in the universe is from 3 to 100 × 10^22 or between 30 sextillion and 30 septillion.)
Put that number on a T-shirt!
Somehow, Weka, the unwoke are not phased by the TPV. They would say, rather, look at the size of the universe orbiting around me at the centre.
Anyway, the answer is actually 43……..who will that be?
their mistake is that they think they are unphased, but it would still send them mad.
as an aside, how do we know the universe came into being, rather than always ebing in existence?
The universe as we know it, Some say what we consider to be the universe is actually part of something bigger; others say we are oscillating in expansion and contraction cycles from Big Bang to Big Bang; other say our universe came from a black hole in another universe.
Me? I like to sit outside on a New Years' Eve with a wee dram, and just marvel….. and write poems.
You used to be able to sit inside, turn on your television and watch the remnants of the Big Bang. When someone told you that there was nothing important ever shown on the TV you could show them the remains of what surely would count as the greatest event ever?
You saw it when you turned on your old analogue TV (before we had digital versions). About 1% of the "snow" you saw was from the remnant background radiation from the Big Bang
Yes, alwyn, but such snow was almost as interesting and informative as the Question Time I am trying not to watch right now; whereas a wee dram under the stars does have a certain reflective charm.
so we've always existed? I find this strangely comforting.
While on that theme: "so long, and thanks for all the cash".
Two of the finalists for smirk-of-the-year-award..
Key: "Mine should say 51 and yours should say 25, you absolute loser!"
Man boob skites.
'thanks…you mugs..'
Key: That's not mugging the camera – this is mugging the camera.
39 couldn't make it – he's busy reviewing Kāinga Ora.
Hey Chris, that's my tee-shirt, and it's 45%.
'we're both really really rich ..and you're not….cheers..!'
'we're just having a bit of a chuckle about those people who voted us in again..
..and have now been downsized. ..
…they are the real mugs..'
Keep those poll results coming in luxon and I'll have them print no43.
No to both.
Bishop son of Bishop wants 43.
The insolent Epsom tea bag wants 44.
Only Gerry has the build to be 45. Simeon Brown wants it, but will never measure up.
'we've done it again..!..
..may the rich get richer..(you know the rest .)..heh..!..cheers..!'
'..we are both living proof that you can fool enough of the people enough of the time..cheers ..!'
First fat cat: “Our waist measurements ….”
Second fat cat: ” …. in inches!”
'.. we're both religious men…we both worship mammon…'
The “gruesome twosome” proudly displaying their burgeoning gut measurements in inches.
What they really have in common is decades of loyalty to International Capital and Finance Capital.
Key:..'he's got even more tenants than me…'
'Let us man-expand this to you'
42+38= phuck-all.
"help John, I'm desperate, why does everyone hate me"
'let's raise a mug to neoliberalism…it made us what we are..!..and it keeps you where you are..'
The based in the Aotearoa hideaway vaults 38 and 42 emissaries from the enclave i.e. "the rich old bastards who didn't want to give up their power" decided to venture into the wasteland and were somewhat surprised that not everyone was dead.
As after all in the opinion of the enclave members, they were the greatest assembly of minds on New Zealand soil and all the bottom-feeders should have gone. This revelation of life on the surface would delay the building of their god-ship in which only the exalted would be taken to a better life.
Thank god they had the Kovac-Peters-Seymour-Muldoon satellite and an army of scorch-beasts, often using a radio-active fog like method of explaining what they are (or are not) thinking, to wreak havoc on the citizens of Aotearoa,
(Apologies to Fallout).
42 = Clinton; 38 = Ford.
Clinton Ford was a UK showbiz personality of days gone by. This seems to me the most fitting selection from his repertoire:
It's fun to think of ol' Simeon strumming on his uke as the ship – actually a monstrous trimaran – starts to go down ….
Beavis and Butthead.
"These numbers indicate our daily averages for how many times per day we remind ourselves just how fantastically talented, skilled and suited we are to being PM. If you add a zero onto the end of these figures you get the average daily number of times per day we tell ourselves just how lucky you all are that we felt sorry for you all and decided to put you all first by deciding to be your leader(s).
So get back in the dole queue and reflect on how special we are, and you are not!"
Polling when rolled
Monthly pay as PM.
$4238 is 42.38% of Luxon's new salary as PM, per week!
What do the numbers 42 and 38 mean?
They are their seat numbers on the rapture ship…
38th and 42nd PM's of NZ
Thank you.
42 is the meaning of life according to Doug Adams, but 38? I dunno, John, I reckon that's just another number.
Ren(t) and StinKey.
Via The Daily Blog