Caption contest
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3:40 pm, May 27th, 2013 - 109 comments
Categories: caption contest, john key -
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109 comments on “Caption contest ”
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Dunedin’s summer thus far has been warm and humid… and it looks like we’re in for a grey Christmas. But it is now officially Christmas Day in this time zone, so never mind. This year, I’ve stumbled across an Old English version of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen: It has a population of just under 3.5 million inhabitants, produces nearly 550,000 tons of beef per year, and boasts a glorious soccer reputation with two World ...17 hours ago - Meri Kirihimete 2024
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The worms will live in every hostIt's hard to pick which one they eat the mostThe horrible people, the horrible peopleIt's as anatomic as the size of your steepleCapitalism has made it this wayOld-fashioned fascism will take it awaySongwriter: Twiggy Ramirez Read more ...2 days ago - The 1 Good Thing Left In Journalism
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This morning’s six standouts for me at 6.30am include:Rachel Helyer Donaldson’s scoop via RNZ last night of cuts to maternity jobs in the health system;Maddy Croad’s scoop via The Press-$ this morning on funding cuts for Christchurch’s biggest food rescue charity;Benedict Collins’ scoop last night via 1News on a last-minute ...2 days ago - 2024 SkS Weekly Climate Change & Global Warming News Roundup #51
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Well, I've been there, sitting in that same chairWhispering that same prayer half a million timesIt's a lie, though buried in disciplesOne page of the Bible isn't worth a lifeThere's nothing wrong with youIt's true, it's trueThere's something wrong with the villageWith the villageSomething wrong with the villageSongwriters: Andrew Jackson ...3 days ago - Government Forces Universities to Enforce “Free Speech” While Limiting Universities̵...
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The Government cancelled 60% of Kāinga Ora’s new builds next year, even though the land for them was already bought, the consents were consented and there are builders unemployed all over the place. Photo: Lynn Grieveson / The KākāMōrena. Long stories short, the six things that mattered in Aotearoa’s political ...4 days ago - Bernard’s Picks ‘n’ Mixes for Saturday, December 21
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AUSTERITYText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedMy spreadsheet insists This pain leads straight to glory (File not found) Read more ...1 week ago - Minimum wage ‘increase’ is an effective cut
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And if there is a GodI know he likes to rockHe likes his loud guitarsHis spiders from MarsAnd if there is a GodI know he's watching meHe likes what he seesBut there's trouble on the breezeSongwriter: William Patrick Corgan Read more ...1 week ago - A Lipstick Government
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Returning to the model that was failing for most polytechnics and Institutes of Technology is not the answer. ...5 days ago
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It’s been revealed that National has cancelled 60 percent of its housing projects planned before mid-2025 amidst housing woes. ...5 days ago
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The Government is quietly undertaking consultation on the dangerous Regulatory Standards Bill over the Christmas period to avoid too much attention. ...5 days ago
- Release: Why not both? Luxon shuns Waitangi celebrations
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon is running away from problems of his own creation, with his decision not to go to Waitangi. ...5 days ago
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The Government’s planned changes to the freedom of speech obligations of universities is little more than a front for stoking the political fires of disinformation and fear, placing teachers and students in the crosshairs. ...5 days ago - Release: Nicola Willis spirals country deeper into recession
The economy shrank 1% this quarter and New Zealand has tumbled into the depths of a recession of Nicola Willis’ making. ...6 days ago
- Release: Hikes for company directors but not ordinary Kiwis
Working people are going backwards while company directors are being given huge pay hikes. ...6 days ago
- ECE no place to cut corners
The Ministry of Regulation’s report into Early Childhood Education (ECE) in Aotearoa raises serious concerns about the possibility of lowering qualification requirements, undermining quality and risking worse outcomes for tamariki, whānau, and kaiako. ...7 days ago
- Release: Strengthening Justice Services for New Zealanders
A Bill to modernise the role of Justices of the Peace (JP), ensuring they remain active in their communities and connected with other JPs, has been put into the ballot. ...7 days ago
- Release: Labour will continue fight against destructive projects
Labour will continue to fight unsustainable and destructive projects that are able to leap-frog environment protection under National’s Fast-track Approvals Bill. ...1 week ago
- Green Government will revoke dodgy fast-track projects
The Green Party has warned that a Green Government will revoke the consents of companies who override environmental protections as part of Fast-Track legislation being passed today. ...1 week ago
- Government for the wealthy keeps pushing austerity
The Green Party says the Half Year Economic and Fiscal Update shows how the Government is failing to address the massive social and infrastructure deficits our country faces. ...1 week ago
- Release: Visa changes let migrant workers be paid less
The Government’s latest move to reduce the earnings of migrant workers will not only hurt migrants but it will drive down the wages of Kiwi workers. ...1 week ago
- Release: Nightmare before Christmas for Nicola Willis
With more debt and a larger deficit, Nicola Willis’ reputation is in tatters after her failure to return the Government’s books to surplus. ...1 week ago
- Warning to Fast-Track Applicants – ‘Exploit the Whenua, Face the Consequences’
Te Pāti Māori has this morning issued a stern warning to Fast-Track applicants with interests in mining, pledging to hold them accountable through retrospective liability and to immediately revoke Fast-Track consents under a future Te Pāti Māori government. This warning comes ahead of today’s third reading of the Fast-Track Approvals ...1 week ago
- Release: Govt cuts wages for lowest paid NZers… again
For the second year running, the government has effectively cut wages for the lowest paid workers in New Zealand. ...1 week ago
- Govt’s miserly 1.5% minimum wage will take workers backwards
The Government’s announcement today of a 1.5 per cent increase to minimum wage is another blow for workers, with inflation projected to exceed the increase, meaning it’s a real terms pay reduction for many. ...1 week ago
- Release: Govt shirking responsibility for rate hikes
All the Government has achieved from its announcement today is to continue to push responsibility back on councils for its own lack of action to help bring down skyrocketing rates. ...1 week ago
- Luxon’s ‘localism’ strikes again
The Government has used its final post-Cabinet press conference of the year to punch down on local government without offering any credible solutions to the issues our councils are facing. ...1 week ago
- Release: Govt breaks promise on EV chargers
The Government has failed to keep its promise to ‘super charge’ the EV network, delivering just 292 chargers - less than half of the 670 chargers needed to meet its target. ...1 week ago
- Greens call for end to subsidies for Methanex
The Green Party is calling for the Government to stop subsidising the largest user of the country’s gas supplies, Methanex, following a report highlighting the multi-national’s disproportionate influence on energy prices in Aotearoa. ...1 week ago
- Govt child poverty targets allow for increase in poverty
The Green Party is appalled with the Government’s new child poverty targets that are based on a new ‘persistent poverty’ measure that could be met even with an increase in child poverty. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Four weeks annual leave under threat
The Government’s attack on workers continues with news it is scrapping work on the Holidays Act. ...2 weeks ago
- Govt’s emissions plan for measly 1% reduction
New independent analysis has revealed that the Government’s Emissions Reduction Plan (ERP) will reduce emissions by a measly 1 per cent by 2030, failing to set us up for the future and meeting upcoming targets. ...2 weeks ago
- Greens stand in solidarity with Whakaata Māori on sad day
The loss of 27 kaimahi at Whakaata Māori and the end of its daily news bulletin is a sad day for Māori media and another step backwards for Te Tiriti o Waitangi justice. ...2 weeks ago
- Sanctions regime to create more hardship for families
Yesterday the Government passed cruel legislation through first reading to establish a new beneficiary sanction regime that will ultimately mean more households cannot afford the basic essentials. ...2 weeks ago
- Govt gifts renters housing anxiety for Christmas
Today's passing of the Government's Residential Tenancies Amendment Bill–which allows landlords to end tenancies with no reason–ignores the voice of the people and leaves renters in limbo ahead of the festive season. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: National Party urged to support modern slavery legislation
Labour is urging the Prime Minister to walk the talk and support legislation combating modern slavery. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Labour has lost confidence in the Speaker
The Speaker of the New Zealand Parliament made an unprecedented decision on the government amendment to the Fast Track Approvals Bill last night. ...2 weeks ago
- One year on, still no progress on new ferries
Today’s announcement from the Government on its plan for new ferries throws more uncertainty on the future of the country’s rail network. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Nicola Willis’ smaller ferries will cost more
After wasting a year, Nicola Willis has delivered a worse deal for the Cook Strait ferries that will end up being more expensive and take longer to arrive. ...2 weeks ago
- Bill to sanction unlawful occupation of Palestine
Green Party co-leader Chlöe Swarbrick has today launched a Member’s Bill to sanction Israel for its unlawful presence in the Occupied Palestinian Territory, as the All Out For Gaza rally reaches Parliament. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Labour fully supports greyhound racing ban
The Government has done the right thing in moving to ban greyhound racing. ...2 weeks ago
- Greyhound racing industry ban marks new era for animal welfare
After years of advocacy, the Green Party is very happy to hear the Government has listened to our collective voices and announced the closure of the greyhound racing industry, by 1 August 2026. ...2 weeks ago
- Rangatahi voices must be centred in Government’s Relationship and Sexuality Education refresh
In response to a new report from ERO, the Government has acknowledged the urgent need for consistency across the curriculum for Relationship and Sexuality Education (RSE) in schools. ...2 weeks ago
- Govt introduces archaic anti-worker legislation
The Green Party is appalled at the Government introducing legislation that will make it easier to penalise workers fighting for better pay and conditions. ...2 weeks ago
- Winston Peters – Kinleith Mill Speech
Thank you for the invitation to speak with you tonight on behalf of the political party I belong to - which is New Zealand First. As we have heard before this evening the Kinleith Mill is proposing to reduce operations by focusing on pulp and discontinuing “lossmaking paper production”. They say that they are currently consulting on the plan to permanently shut ...2 weeks ago - Swarbrick calls on Auckland Mayor to end delay of revival of St James Theatre
Auckland Central MP, Chlöe Swarbrick, has written to Mayor Wayne Brown requesting he stop the unnecessary delays on St James Theatre’s restoration. ...2 weeks ago
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Some phallic symbols are less subtle than others.
‘
As you can see we have decided to go ‘aspirational’
for the new breakfast in schools program
Not up to the usual standards…but it’ll do
Mirror mirror on the wall
Who’s the biggest lying shit of all?
Why Labour of course.
must hurt to see your leader looking truthful for a change – I’m loving that photo of honest john
Me too. A candid and very revealing shot.
(key on holiday in hawaii..)
..”..i don’t feel like any fizz right now…i’ve just been down to visit the boys in the pot-shop..”
phillip ure..
key:..”..is it true fizz will take the edge off the coke..?”
phillip ure..
key:..”often when i can’t get it up…i strap on the moet..”
phillip ure..
key:..”what is a nose for..?..if not for looking down on/at peasants..?”
phillip ure..
key:..”poverty..?..what fucken poverty..?..”
phillip ure..
The annual Creep of the Year award goes to…
” Oh shit, caught out, I usually get it put into Stienie bottles by my personal cellar keeper, you know to sorta look like one of the boys cos personally I don’t know how they can drink that beer muck”
“Yeah, they’re all fuck’n’ “munters”. They buy my shit just like that !
key:..”why is it..that i have so much money..?
..yet i get such crap haircuts..?..”
..phillip ure..
key:..”gay..?..me..?..”
phillip ure..
It’s Chandon… eh?
More like Chardon!
See you lot drink water. Me I drink this can’t you tell by my behavior in the house?
Moet’s a charity, right? Because this is my latest salary donation.
…..
Whaddya mean I’m not on the same planet as most New Zealanders? Look – my top button’s undone!
…..
Too early in the day, you say? But it’s lunchtime!
Ha this costs more than your benefit, scummy bene’s
we “nactoids” keep our policies in this magic bottle!
look at the economy fizz from cheap credit
wheeeee down with CGT!!
PS. i pissed in it lol
Representing ALL New Zealanders since 2008. Yeah Right
I can’t think of anything funny. The only thing that springs to mind when I look at the photo is “plonker”.
Me too. The look on his face – so supercilious and… aren’t I just wonderful.
I reckon Labour should use that photo (the fuller length version) on a bill board with the caption at the bottom “Plonker?” during the election campaign. I wouldn’t put it up in all electorates – just those where people are really struggling and unemployment is rife. Remind them what a plonker… prick… he really is.
Great idea!
It is a chilling look on his face. Stuff you lot, I’m Ok.
And he is our leader. Worst in history.
oww Bro – got me a champagne to go wifa coupla power companys and this flash shirt I stole.
Have any you fullas seen my hoodie or scarf.
my shit dont stink either
(not a caption:..more an observation..)
..back when i used to drink that stuff on a too-regular basis..i seem to remember moet being fairly low-rent..(something to sniff disdainfully at/to endure only if there was nothing better..)..
..definitely at the low-end of the up-market fizz-market..
..the sort of over-priced cheap crap drunk by the likes of hype-swallowing/loud/shiny-panted stockbrokers/lawyers..
..very declasse/to be avoided at all costs..
..what we here would know as the key-market…
..phillip ure..
After I drink this bottle of Moët, will I be too drunk to fuck up the country?
“After I drink this bottle of Moët, I will, be drunk enough to fuck up the country!”
“It Doeshn’t Give My Opponents Musch Time To Prepare For an Elecshun Either”
Let me just put the tip in…
I know all my fans have always wanted to see the view inside my nose, so here you go!
Aren’t I the clever bank robber then – and got away to a far-off island where all is sweet and no-one can touch me, or not unless I want them to. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
key:..”let them drink moet..”
phillip ure..
Don’t you tell the PM he can’t have another bottle.
key:..”heh..!..i call it a ‘blind-trust’..’cos i am usually ‘blind’ when i ring the caymans..and demand to know how my squillions are going..eh..?..”
phillip ure..
Waiter – why have you brought me this cheap shit? Do you know who I am?
that is quite clever.
Thank you ghost. 🙂
This for the win!
No – I reckon MickeySavage’s “Plonker” @ 21 is the best. 🙂
May I nominate this for the next caption contest?:
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/business/news/article.cfm?c_id=3&objectid=10886490
It looks so North Korean, doesn’t it? There’s the visionary leaders looking of into the distance, the obvious display of unity. It’s just so inspiring.
To paraphrase Hannibal Lecter, “Love the suits!”
lol. I thought the same thing when I saw that pic. It begs for captions 🙂
i’ll third that..
..phillip ure..
I knew they were pointy heads but this is ridiculous!
http://i41.tinypic.com/2vki6fb.jpg
key:.”…this is a pressie from one of me mates who bought up big in mighty river power..
..and ackshully..!..what a cheap bastard..!..eh..?..
..only moet..?
..after all i’ve done for for him..?..”
phillip ure..
key:..”..heh..!..i just gilmore(d) the waiter..
..told him he is not grovelling enough..
..he is shitting himself..”
phillip ure
What do we say about this Clint ?
“Get this inside you my faithful burt…….while I slip into something more comfortable”
“I’m just out of prison… want to celebrate?”
National unveils its 2014 billboard.
“I always tell the truth, even when I lie.”
Normally when posing for a photo he looks so awkward in that “what do I do with my hands” way. But when assuming the “I’m a rich prick” look he’s got it down pat.
Oh a caption:
“Hey does my beer-gut look big with my shirt untucked like this? Oh wait, it doesn’t matter, coz I’m a rich prick! hahahahaha so awesome.”
And very accurate, Moet is to champagne what Lion red and DB are to beer……low end mass produced for a price point.
exactly ! we make much better champagne than Moet in NZ. This illustrates what a cretinous drunk Key is. He clearly knows nothing about wine.I was a food and wine waiter for many years.Had to know the restaurant cellar backwards or I wouldn’t have had a job. I loathed plonkers like Key.
What are your favourite NZ bubbly recommendations, Shona?
Bouldervines from Renwick a sparkling Chardonnay crisp , not too dry as European bubbly often is, and guaranteed headache free regardless of the quantity you quaff. Second choice Deutz in any shape or form especially the blanc de blanc, followed by Morton blanc de blanc or Morton black label.
Run of the Mill (often on special at Pak n Save )Morton always a winner and superior to Moet. Crisp and not too dry.
Always check out Cuisine recommendations each year as the boutique wineries in Marlborough and Hawkes Bay produce winners each year but aren’t always consistently the same wineries.
Dom Perignon , Tattingers,Veuve Cliquot Bollinger are all much better French champagne the grotty old Moet.
What are your thoughts on Trinity Bay Homage Syrah The greens were sipping at their KPMG hosted dinner the other week? I hear it’s only $120 a bottle.
Different grape w’ere talking champers here dahling!
At the affordable end. The point being the industrial nature of Moet compared to the affordable kiwi bubbly. Which is so superior the French bought Deutz.
And if Key was a Kiwi he would promote Kiwi wine. He doesn’t because he’s a cretinous greedy drunk!
Tend to agree, could never work out why people buy imported trash when we make the good stuff here. still, thought the Greens would have gone for kiwifruit or feijoa – both of which I find bloody awful.
Tut tut Shona, NZ may have methode champagnoise plonk but only Champagne produces champagne.
Whateva be a pedant then! Same shit different bucket . I am well aware of the naming rights regarding French champagne. Doesn’t alter the fact that it is the old French champagne houses who are buying up Marlborough vineyards and bubbly manufacturers!Because our bubbly really is that good. Fat chance our dickhead PM will ever understand that!.
If i stand like a twat hopefully no one will see my moobs
From the BF: John Key plonking.
Take the cork out and the contents ejaculate… just like I do every time my mates ring me up thanking me for selling them the cute country estate once called New Zealand.
Mildly NSFW: http://www.gaynz.com/articles/uploads/2/OutChampagne_Cover400wide.jpg
Toupee Moet!
key:..”i like to rub a cold moet on my power-belly..eh..?..”
phillip ure..
She keeps her Moet & Chandon in a pretty cabinet. “Let them eat cake,” she says. Just like Mary Antionette…
” mmm … (mince mince)… I do so like pouring moet on my man boobs..
“New poll results just in… can’t wait to see the inevitable post on the standard within minutes of the results”
See this I’m drinking all of it tonight and I mean it the only thing I don’t lie about
Go home John
You’re drunk
(http://www.boredpanda.org/best-go-home-youre-drunk-meme/)
Moet is meh.
Pretentious? Moet?
OK…….my bottle of Moet…….plus a sinecure, take your take your pick, commissioner, ambassador…….for your bottle of Dom. Nah, sorry, the Race one’s gone.
Wasn’t there a famous photo of Mussolini looking just like that?
No, Mussolini was abstinent wasn’t he ?
“I never drink in the daytime” (but I totally will, unprompted, with strangers, in front of a camera) http://tvnz.co.nz/seven-sharp/inside-john-key-s-private-office-video-5333041
“I never drink in the daytime” (but I totally will, unprompted, with strangers, in front of a camera) http://tvnz.co.nz/seven-sharp/inside-john-key-s-private-office-video-5333041
I never drink in the daytime. I know that I’ve said that twice but it’s only words isn’t it and besides this is a nice little drop from a National supporter who has a great vineyard up the East Coast. If you like the taste I can get you a special deal!
“Say, wouldn’t you like to know what’s going on in my mind?
So let me get right to the point. I don’t pop my cork for every guy I see.
Hey, Big Spender, spend a little time with me.”
mac1 +1
John: There was one thing ma’am, a fine wine from the far east. A most delicious beverage.
Judith: Have a taste boys; tell us what you think.
Peter: It certainly has plenty of nose.
Winston: Oh yes, this is very familiar.
John: You’ll be delighted to hear there’s an inexhaustible supply of the stuff.
Yeah, I’ve got a highly professionally qualified, alpha male Samoan mate, who’s a bit of a social, as opposed to a political conservative, who repeatedly says to me – “You know, I reckon that Mister Key, well, I’m sure he’s a bit of a g…”
Means nothing, just saying.
Minister Plopp Flop, Flip Flop and Sparkle Flop Plop
Stop !
John Key practices looking down his nose
‘In a moment I’m gonna show you the trickle down effect.”
amirite
Right on +1
“LOOK AT ME…LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEE!”
This is the real me.Better than you,mean spirited, arrogant supercilious, dishonest,don’t care about anyone unless they are rich like me,sneaky, underhanded,devious and no I’m not lying this time. Time for a mowit.
Yes, the camera captures a rare moment of honesty.
Is that his handbag behind him?
Er… plonk-er shows bottle for once?
You want this bottle? Huh? You want it? You know what to do then, down on your knees…
This is my ‘I am too sexy for my shirt look’…what’s so funny?
Not a caption, but a serious comment, how can anyone be such a tosser as to pose like this for a photo?!
Not a caption but this photo is chilling!Very creepy.
Congratulations John on a great 4 1/2 years.
I look forward to many more.
Not gonna vote for me? Well, you can just sit on this and rotate.
I sent this photo of me to Moet et Chandon in hopes of scoring a modelling contract for their advertisements. Strangely, they haven’t got back to me yet.
Banksie drinks this stuff out of my bellybutton.
You can have your fruit in schools, we’ve got our Champagne, free travel and ministerial cars on the tax payer.