Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 2:47 pm, September 8th, 2014 - 131 comments
Categories: caption contest - Tags:

digging

131 comments on “Caption contest ”

  1. DropDeadFred 1

    I know we hid those ballot boxes around here somewhere Pete…

  2. Zorr 2

    “Dig your own graves…

    That way I don’t ever get my hands dirty”

  3. One Anonymous Bloke 3

    VRWC work gang doing PD.

  4. joe90 4

    Doc, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy and Dopey sing –

    We dig dig dig dig dig dig dig in our mine the whole day through
    To dig dig dig dig dig dig dig is what we really like to do
    It ain’t no trick to get rich quick
    If you dig dig dig with a shovel or a pick
    In a mine! In a mine! In a mine! In a mine!
    Where a million diamonds shine!

  5. hoom 5

    ‘Soil victim of left wing smear campaign & media hounding.’

  6. One Anonymous Bloke 6

    White collar crims allowed to wear own clothes.

  7. karol 7

    5 out of 6 people questioned reckon Peter Dunne knows where the bodies are buried.

  8. karol 8

    As we count the clock down to the election, government ministers seen to be digging their own graves.

  9. mickysavage 9

    Despite Prime Ministerial assistance benefit cost ratio of Transmission Gully still hopeless.

  10. karol 10

    government ministers learn how to astroturf.

  11. infused 11

    Fuck the Greens. We are building this road!

  12. Clemgeopin 12

    Shallow graves for hallow crooks.

  13. r0b 13

    Dirty politicians.

  14. Vaughan 14

    Day before release of Dirty Politics by Nicky Hager, ShonKey took a drive out to the country with some of the crew. . . Ummmm anyone seen Jason Ede lately?

  15. Adrian 15

    “I’m pretty sure that should do it but knowing Judith and Jason we should pour a bloody big lump of concrete over the whole area”

  16. Tracey 16

    KEY: you can dig all you like but you’ll never find the truth

  17. Tracey 17

    dig slater up, the danger has paased, we need our zombie back

  18. weka 18

    The National Party has finally realised the limitations of having no toilets on Planet Key.

  19. Vaughan 19

    Gerry says: “This soil is definitely made in NZ, no question. . .”
    Peter says: “Yes, this land is our land no doubt about it. . .”
    ShonKey laughs: “HA HAAAA, not anymore!”

  20. rod 20

    Three useless sods on the end of a spade.

  21. anker 21

    The closest thing to an honest days work #teamkey have ever done.

  22. Chris 22

    Wankers.

  23. the final internment of any idea the national party is a rational/fair political-force..

    ..one working for the betterment of all new zealanders..

    ..(i understand that after the internment..

    ..they all took turns at pissing on the grave…)

  24. here lieth jason ede…

  25. the story of keys’ life..

    ..others work..he just leans in..a bit..

    ..looking for the angle..

  26. wi tako prison work gang..pre-release-vocational-training…2016…

  27. key:..’i’m sure i buried/hid those ‘high standards’ somewhere around here..’

  28. key:..’c’mon guys..!..it’s my maui-wowee stash..!..keep looking..!..’

  29. key to parata:..

    ..’and these are our plans for unemployed rural maori youth..

    ..we are going to teach them how to use a spade..’

  30. dunne and brownlee dig deep in strange national party competition/ritual..

    ..the winner getting to be a minister..

  31. jimekus 31

    Well, we gotta dig him up again.

  32. the national party goes looking for some policies…

  33. No lads, when I said Eade was “underground” I didn’t mean that!

  34. key buries all his jeers/sneers at colin ‘moon-landing-denier’ craig..

    ..hoping nobody will notice/remember..

  35. Tel 35

    National’s new growth policy “Plant a Spade” in full swing.

  36. SpaceMonkey 36

    This how you dig yourself into a hole.

  37. Tel 37

    Sods launch new PPP scheme selling dirt to China.

  38. yeshe 38

    James Cameron generously employs out of work Nats on his new Wairarapa farm. He was quoted as saying,” It’s only fair”.

  39. mac1 39

    Sotto voce from back ….. “That’s not what I meant when I said we had to replace the sod.”

  40. key makes brownlee and dunne dig their own graves..

    ..the ‘smiling-assasin’ strikes again…

  41. key:..’i’m sure this is where i buried heatley and wilkinson..’

  42. yeshe 42

    Key ekshully so relaxed at the end of the day, he mis-hears ‘Mardi Gras’ so promotes “Muddy Grass” to attract gay voters.

  43. minarch 43

    All day long they work so hard till the sun is going down
    Working on the highways and byways and wearing, wearing a frown
    You hear they moaning their lives away
    Then you hear somebody say

    That’s the sound of the men,
    Working on the chain, ga-ang
    That’s the sound of the men,
    Working on the chain, gang

  44. Rich 44

    I’ve never done this before but I used to mow the lawns at our state house in Bryndwr…

    no honest I did…..

  45. Jagd 45

    “We’re just like these spades….shiny on top dirty underneath”.

  46. Jagd 46

    I can stop digging now my feet have enough clay

  47. Phate 47

    For Christ sake Pete’s put your back into it, I’ve hidden that tax cut money round here somewhere & Gerry would you be so kind to point that in the other direction.

  48. Weepus beard 49

    With your help we can bury the bodies of the nation’s poor where no one will ever find them.

  49. Connie DC 50

    “How many holes have I dug? hmmmm I can’t remember”

  50. Phil DC 51

    13, 14, 15, right! 15 paces north… and dig, I think this is where I buried my integrity all those years ago.

  51. gerry’s just digging on the promise of a free-lunch…

  52. the first bit of physical work dunne has done in a decade..

    ..it doesn’t really show..does it..?

  53. dunne:..’don’t you know who i am..?’..

  54. BLiP 55

    Dig, baby, dig.

  55. dunne:..’i swear i didn’t leak the kitteridge report..!’

    key:..’just keep digging..’

  56. 2nd guy from left:

    “..i’m just unbuckling here..’..

  57. Nick K 58

    The Standard already captioned it for me:

    http://imgur.com/E8uSjDT

  58. millsy 59

    Phew! that was taxing — ready for bed now.

  59. repateet 60

    “I know you’ve been patient John but the source of the leak is here somewhere – honestly.”

  60. Hanswurst 61

    Key: “Hey Pete + Gerry, how do you get the spade to dig into the Earth like that? I’m pushing as hard as I can on the handle, but it just won’t break the surface.”

  61. peterlepaysan 62

    The sod is turning.

  62. Montag 63

    Finally, after 4 long years and with the election looming, the Christchurch rebuild begins in earnest.

  63. CnrJoe 64

    when yr in a hole, start another one! tax cut #taxcutsquirrels

  64. b waghorn 65

    You think this is hard work wait till colin and Seymour join us

  65. greywarbler 66

    Postcard from the Nat family all looking for gold.

    Oh Mary this [country’s] a wonderful sight
    with the people here working by day and by night
    They don’t sow potatoes nor barley nor wheat
    But there’s gangs of them digging for gold in the street
    At least when I asked them that’s what I was told
    So I just took a hand at this digging for gold
    But for all that I found there I might as well be
    Where the mountains of mourne sweep down to the sea

  66. Clemgeopin 67

    Hey you guys, quick! Let us start digging the graves for the poor underclass feral scums now!

  67. Clemgeopin 68

    “Let us dig our own long drop. Voters are sure to send us all here on election night. Personal responsibility, remember? We have just 12 days to go! Nice place to hide our shit”

  68. Claris Moses 69

    How far down is the oil?

  69. Maui 70

    “We need 50 more of these for the dolphins”

  70. Billie Sweet 71

    John – “When is a spade not a spade……?
    Hekia – “When you’ve got hold of it John, then it becomes a leaner?

  71. Clemgeopin 72

    “Plebs don’t have enough food you say? Ok, I am relaxed about that! Let us dig them some grass instead. See, we do care!’

  72. Stuart Munro 73

    Dig you pitiful mammals! There’s no way I’m getting dirt under my scales…

  73. tricledrown 74

    John Key demonstrates how he digs dirt on the opposition
    Hekia notices a Slater crawling around in a very deep hole!
    Key shows with a little coating of whale oil no Dirt sticks to him or his Spade!
    Transmission resumes as usual Key and cabinet get away with digging more dirt!
    Key pulls his team into line its my way or the highway more dirt digging now this is how!
    Pete have you finished the Dunny yet,Gerry I know your keen on brown fields Development!

  74. Clemgeopin 75

    Key: “With all this dirt, I’ll need to buy a new top drawer”

  75. Hannahj 76

    National’s funeral

  76. Montag 77

    Under the Governments version of the “Sword in the Stone” method for deciding leaders, Dunne & Brownlie fail in their leadership bid.

  77. “Um guys, you know when I told you to ‘bury’ Nicky Hager ….”

  78. risildowgtn 79

    Judith is around here somewhere

  79. greywarbler 80

    Brilliant captions. The best yet?

  80. fat-cat rightwing politician extreme-sport..

  81. parata to dunne:..

    ..’do you want me to check if yr butt-plug is still ok..?..’

  82. 2nd guy on left..

    ..’i’m still unbuckling here..!..

    ..he’s mine..!..’

  83. straight after photo was taken..

    ..brownlee had to have a wee lie-down..

    ..lifting that sod..had done him in..

  84. Clemgeopin 85

    Key : “Dunny and Gerard, you buggers do have such big bottom lines!’

  85. Jagd 86

    Checking out the reports-digging up the dirt
    you get to meet all sorts in this line of work
    treachery and treason-there’s always an excuse for it
    and when I find the reasons-there’s still no excuse for it.
    And what have you got-at the end of the day
    what have you got to take away
    a block of cheese and a new set of lies
    blinkers on the people to avert their eyes.
    Scared of life-no compensation……
    private investigations.

    Deepest apologies to Dire Straits

  86. Jagd 87

    Better hurry up with this bunker – Julian Assange talks on monday!

  87. Potato 88

    3 tools, some onlookers … and 3 garden spades

  88. Dramaticus 89

    Hekia’s horticultural lesson

    ”This is how we use to plant our dope up the coast
    Just put a seed in the ground, no possums to worry about in those days .”

    ”Are you learning some thing John about the reason why we grow dope in NZ?”

    NO MONEY cause you and pricks like you stole it all .

    Maori fella ”If im quick I will be able to piss in that hole Peter”

    Gerry:”This brings back distant memories”

    Other fella ” We are gathered here today to witness the burial of a nation”

  89. rod 90

    John Key. Working for New Zealand. What lovely words

  90. Clemgeopin 91

    “After all the bunkum we have dished out to the common people for the last six years, we might need this secret remote bunk to hide ourselves away after 20 Sept. So, dig, boys, dig!”

  91. Clemgeopin 92

    A small RWNJ crowd watches two senior cabinet ministers twerking for New Zealand! The head honcho who is also the twerking instructor looks well pleased! “The job is not yet finished, there are miles to go before we fleece, miles to go before we flee”, he whispers.

  92. Stuart Munro 93

    The PM and flunkeys break ground on the new ‘highway to China’ project. Hekia’s innotative tunnel concept passed completely under opposition party radar.

  93. mike 94

    Peter Dunne digs his own grave with rouge National Party MPs

  94. Montag 95

    With Crosby and Textor looking on, Key makes sure he leaves the dirty work for others.

  95. Clemgeopin 96

    Suspects excavating our neo liberal modern National land of Oravida milk and dirty politics.

  96. Ecosse_Maidy 97

    Call this a competition? You gits…Hell,,,I have already dug mine and taken a piss in it! Do I win the shoveling shit comp or what?

  97. Ecosse_Maidy 98

    Two fellas at left hand side…..ffs….hurry up….we are bursting!

  98. Ecosse_Maidy 99

    You two really believed me when I said,,,,I had buried your SIS records around here,,Ha!

  99. Ecosse_Maidy 100

    The Ministry of Jerks!!!!!!!

  100. Ecosse_Maidy 101

    Dig faster you morons….the Governor told me my Knighthood was buried around here someplace!

  101. Ecosse_Maidy 102

    Ok , his Ego is massive, we aren’t gonna get Pete Georges out of here with small holes like that!

  102. Ecosse_Maidy 103

    The Pretenders non tribute band,,,,started off with “Backkkkkkkkkkk on The Chain Gang”…..It needed more work yet at the defeat party it would be perfect..

  103. Ecosse_Maidy 104

    Right seeing as Kim Dot pratt isn’t going to fund it for me……Get working on my swimming pool!

  104. Ecosse_Maidy 105

    Trust me, like i tell the electorate trusts me….If we dig a tad deeper, we shall come across a colony of live moas……!

  105. Ecosse_Maidy 106

    Excellent lads,,,,those two rugs of turf,,,will cover it…no one will see my balding spot

  106. Ecosse_Maidy 107

    Ok we started off with four spades, which of you dickheads has thieved it?

  107. Ecosse_Maidy 108

    Ok I have seen the film..we dig here….Ok there is no big W, like in the film…yet I am sure we will come across the tax cuts here

  108. Ecosse_Maidy 109

    Keys didn’t know it at the time…yet to dig up the all blacks, haka practice ground…would have repercussions that would see him in plaster in a private hospital.

  109. Ecosse_Maidy 110

    Its Ok, don’t sweat u dicks…Peter Jackson told me, this is middle earth and if we dig deep enough…We can use the live hobbit as as Slaters replacement!

  110. Ecosse_Maidy 111

    Ha you morons..digging with old fashioned spades,,,look at me with my self delusional pneumatic hammer….I am gonna beat ya!!!!

  111. Ecosse_Maidy 112

    Keys wins the shiny spade competition and declares himself exempt from any enquiries.

  112. Ecosse_Maidy 113

    This is so wrong..you two promised me, you knew where the bodies of my political opponents were buried..If your wrong you know your punishment, yes a whole day with Pete George canvassing!

  113. Ecosse_Maidy 114

    The deed was done, it took a while, yet free speech, democracy were buried far away in a field in New Zealand

  114. Ecosse_Maidy 115

    Agent one far left “has anyone told keys, you don’t find truffles like this….agent two far left” you’re joking? It just good to see the arse do some work,,shusssh..”

  115. Ecosse_Maidy 116

    Keys shows off to the press the beginning of his new holiday camps for the poor and vulnerable and anyone that votes Labour….Stalag Luft NZ1 would soon be built

  116. Potato 117

    WARNING – Disturbing content

    It was rumoured that back in 2016 President Parata and her personal hit-squad used to take former rivals out to remote locations where they would be forced to dig their own graves before being shot.

    (Please, if you find the thought of a President Parata distressing , do seek help and/or counseling and vote sensibly )

  117. Clemgeopin 118

    “Eureka, Eureka! I found it, I found it!”

    “What?”

    “Slater’s shit!”

    “Bugger that, where is Jason?”

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    As I reported about the city centre, Auckland’s rail network is also going through a difficult and disruptive period which is rapidly approaching a culmination, this will result in a significant upgrade to the whole network. Hallelujah. Also like the city centre this is an upgrade predicated on the City ...
    Greater AucklandBy Patrick Reynolds
    3 days ago
  • Four kilograms of pain

    Today, a 4 kilogram report will be delivered to Parliament. We know this is what the report of the Royal Commission of Inquiry into Abuse in State and Faith-based Care weighs, because our Prime Minister told us so.Some reporter had blindsided him by asking a question about something done by ...
    More Than A FeildingBy David Slack
    3 days ago
  • The Kākā’s Journal of Record for Wednesday, July 24

    TL;DR: As of 7:00 am on Wednesday, July 24, the top six announcements, speeches, reports and research around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day are:Beehive: Transport Minister Simeon Brown announced plans to use PPPs to fund, build and run a four-lane expressway between Auckland ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    3 days ago
  • Luxon gets caught out

    NewstalkZB host Mike Hosking, who can usually be relied on to give Prime Minister Christopher Luxon an easy run, did not do so yesterday when he interviewed him about the HealthNZ deficit. Luxon is trying to use a deficit reported last year by HealthNZ as yet another example of the ...
    PolitikBy Richard Harman
    3 days ago
  • A worrying sign

    Back in January a StatsNZ employee gave a speech at Rātana on behalf of tangata whenua in which he insulted and criticised the government. The speech clearly violated the principle of a neutral public service, and StatsNZ started an investigation. Part of that was getting an external consultant to examine ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    4 days ago
  • Are we fine with 47.9% home-ownership by 2048?

    Renting for life: Shared ownership initiatives are unlikely to slow the slide in home ownership by much. Photo: Lynn Grieveson / The KākāTL;DR: The top six things I’ve noted around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy today are:A Deloitte report for Westpac has projected Aotearoa’s home-ownership rate will ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    4 days ago
  • Let's Win This

    You're broken down and tiredOf living life on a merry go roundAnd you can't find the fighterBut I see it in you so we gonna walk it outAnd move mountainsWe gonna walk it outAnd move mountainsAnd I'll rise upI'll rise like the dayI'll rise upI'll rise unafraidI'll rise upAnd I'll ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    4 days ago
  • Waimahara: The Singing Spirit of Water

    There’s been a change in Myers Park. Down the steps from St. Kevin’s Arcade, past the grassy slopes, the children’s playground, the benches and that goat statue, there has been a transformation. The underpass for Mayoral Drive has gone from a barren, grey, concrete tunnel, to a place that thrums ...
    Greater AucklandBy Connor Sharp
    4 days ago
  • A major milestone: Global climate pollution may have just peaked

    This is a re-post from Yale Climate Connections Global society may have finally slammed on the brakes for climate-warming pollution released by human fossil fuel combustion. According to the Carbon Monitor Project, the total global climate pollution released between February and May 2024 declined slightly from the amount released during the same ...
    4 days ago
  • The Kākā’s Pick 'n' Mix for Tuesday, July 23

    TL;DR: My pick of the top six links elsewhere around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day or so to 7:00 am on Tuesday, July 23 are:Deep Dive: Penlink: where tolling rhetoric meets reality BusinessDesk-$$$’s Oliver LewisScoop: Te Pūkenga plans for regional polytechs leak out ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    4 days ago
  • The Kākā’s Journal of Record for Tuesday, July 23

    TL;DR: As of 6:00 am on Tuesday, July 23, the top six announcements, speeches, reports and research around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day are:Health: Shane Reti announced the Board of Te Whatu Ora- Health New Zealand was being replaced with Commissioner Lester Levy ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    4 days ago
  • HealthNZ and Luxon at cross purposes over budget blowout

    Health NZ warned the Government at the end of March that it was running over Budget. But the reasons it gave were very different to those offered by the Prime Minister yesterday. Prime Minister Christopher Luxon blamed the “botched merger” of the 20 District Health Boards (DHBs) to create Health ...
    PolitikBy Richard Harman
    4 days ago
  • 2500-3000 more healthcare staff expected to be fired, as Shane Reti blames Labour for a budget defic...

    Long ReadKey Summary: Although National increased the health budget by $1.4 billion in May, they used an old funding model to project health system costs, and never bothered to update their pre-election numbers. They were told during the Health Select Committees earlier in the year their budget amount was deficient, ...
    Mountain TuiBy Mountain Tui
    4 days ago
  • Might Kamala Harris be about to get a 'stardust' moment like Jacinda Ardern?

    As a momentous, historic weekend in US politics unfolded, analysts and commentators grasped for precedents and comparisons to help explain the significance and power of the choice Joe Biden had made. The 46th president had swept the Democratic party’s primaries but just over 100 days from the election had chosen ...
    PunditBy Tim Watkin
    5 days ago
  • Solutions Interview: Steven Hail on MMT & ecological economics

    TL;DR: I’m casting around for new ideas and ways of thinking about Aotearoa’s political economy to find a few solutions to our cascading and self-reinforcing housing, poverty and climate crises.Associate Professor runs an online masters degree in the economics of sustainability at Torrens University in Australia and is organising ...
    The KakaBy Steven Hail
    5 days ago
  • Reported back

    The Finance and Expenditure Committee has reported back on National's Local Government (Water Services Preliminary Arrangements) Bill. The bill sets up water for privatisation, and was introduced under urgency, then rammed through select committee with no time even for local councils to make a proper submission. Naturally, national's select committee ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    5 days ago
  • Vandrad the Viking, Christopher Coombes, and Literary Archaeology

    Some years ago, I bought a book at Dunedin’s Regent Booksale for $1.50. As one does. Vandrad the Viking (1898), by J. Storer Clouston, is an obscure book these days – I cannot find a proper online review – but soon it was sitting on my shelf, gathering dust alongside ...
    5 days ago
  • Gordon Campbell On The Biden Withdrawal

    History is not on the side of the centre-left, when Democratic presidents fall behind in the polls and choose not to run for re-election. On both previous occasions in the past 75 years (Harry Truman in 1952, Lyndon Johnson in 1968) the Democrats proceeded to then lose the White House ...
    WerewolfBy lyndon
    5 days ago
  • Joe Biden's withdrawal puts the spotlight back on Kamala and the USA's complicated relatio...

    This is a free articleCoverageThis morning, US President Joe Biden announced his withdrawal from the Presidential race. And that is genuinely newsworthy. Thanks for your service, President Biden, and all the best to you and yours.However, the media in New Zealand, particularly the 1News nightly bulletin, has been breathlessly covering ...
    Mountain TuiBy Mountain Tui
    5 days ago
  • Why we have to challenge our national fiscal assumptions

    A homeless person’s camp beside a blocked-off slipped damage walkway in Freeman’s Bay: we are chasing our tail on our worsening and inter-related housing, poverty and climate crises. Photo: Photo: Lynn Grieveson / The KākāTL;DR: The top six things I’ve noted around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    5 days ago
  • Existential Crisis and Damaged Brains

    What has happened to it all?Crazy, some'd sayWhere is the life that I recognise?(Gone away)But I won't cry for yesterdayThere's an ordinary worldSomehow I have to findAnd as I try to make my wayTo the ordinary worldYesterday morning began as many others - what to write about today? I began ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    5 days ago
  • A speed limit is not a target, and yet…

    This is a guest post from longtime supporter Mr Plod, whose previous contributions include a proposal that Hamilton become New Zealand’s capital city, and that we should switch which side of the road we drive on. A recent Newsroom article, “Back to school for the Govt’s new speed limit policy“, ...
    Greater AucklandBy Guest Post
    5 days ago
  • The Kākā’s Pick 'n' Mix for Monday, July 22

    TL;DR: My pick of the top six links elsewhere around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day or so to 7:00 am on Monday, July 22 are:Today’s Must Read: Father and son live in a tent, and have done for four years, in a million ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    5 days ago
  • The Kākā’s Journal of Record for Monday, July 22

    TL;DR: As of 7:00 am on Monday, July 22, the top six announcements, speeches, reports and research around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day are:US President Joe Biden announced via X this morning he would not stand for a second term.Multinational professional services firm ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    5 days ago
  • 2024 SkS Weekly Climate Change & Global Warming News Roundup #29

    A listing of 32 news and opinion articles we found interesting and shared on social media during the past week: Sun, July 14, 2024 thru Sat, July 20, 2024. Story of the week As reflected by preponderance of coverage, our Story of the Week is Project 2025. Until now traveling ...
    6 days ago
  • I'd like to share what I did this weekend

    This weekend, a friend pointed out someone who said they’d like to read my posts, but didn’t want to pay. And my first reaction was sympathy.I’ve already told folks that if they can’t comfortably subscribe, and would like to read, I’d be happy to offer free subscriptions. I don’t want ...
    Mountain TuiBy Mountain Tui
    6 days ago
  • For the children – Why mere sentiment can be a misleading force in our lives, and lead to unex...

    National: The Party of ‘Law and Order’ IntroductionThis weekend, the Government formally kicked off one of their flagship policy programs: a military style boot camp that New Zealand has experimented with over the past 50 years. Cartoon credit: Guy BodyIt’s very popular with the National Party’s Law and Order image, ...
    Mountain TuiBy Mountain Tui
    6 days ago
  • A friend in uncertain times

    Day one of the solo leg of my long journey home begins with my favourite sound: footfalls in an empty street. 5.00 am and it’s already light and already too warm, almost.If I can make the train that leaves Budapest later this hour I could be in Belgrade by nightfall; ...
    More Than A FeildingBy David Slack
    6 days ago
  • The Chaotic World of Male Diet Influencers

    Hi,We’ll get to the horrific world of male diet influencers (AKA Beefy Boys) shortly, but first you will be glad to know that since I sent out the Webworm explaining why the assassination attempt on Donald Trump was not a false flag operation, I’ve heard from a load of people ...
    David FarrierBy David Farrier
    6 days ago
  • It's Starting To Look A Lot Like… Y2K

    Do you remember Y2K, the threat that hung over humanity in the closing days of the twentieth century? Horror scenarios of planes falling from the sky, electronic payments failing and ATMs refusing to dispense cash. As for your VCR following instructions and recording your favourite show - forget about it.All ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    1 week ago
  • Bernard’s Saturday Soliloquy for the week to July 20

    Climate Change Minister Simon Watts being questioned by The Kākā’s Bernard Hickey.TL;DR: My top six things to note around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the week to July 20 were:1. A strategy that fails Zero Carbon Act & Paris targetsThe National-ACT-NZ First Coalition Government finally unveiled ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    1 week ago
  • Pharmac Director, Climate Change Commissioner, Health NZ Directors – The latest to quit this m...

    Summary:As New Zealand loses at least 12 leaders in the public service space of health, climate, and pharmaceuticals, this month alone, directly in response to the Government’s policies and budget choices, what lies ahead may be darker than it appears. Tui examines some of those departures and draws a long ...
    Mountain TuiBy Mountain Tui
    1 week ago
  • Flooding Housing Policy

    The Minister of Housing’s ambition is to reduce markedly the ratio of house prices to household incomes. If his strategy works it would transform the housing market, dramatically changing the prospects of housing as an investment.Leaving aside the Minister’s metaphor of ‘flooding the market’ I do not see how the ...
    PunditBy Brian Easton
    1 week ago
  • A Voyage Among the Vandals: Accepted (Again!)

    As previously noted, my historical fantasy piece, set in the fifth-century Mediterranean, was accepted for a Pirate Horror anthology, only for the anthology to later fall through. But in a good bit of news, it turned out that the story could indeed be re-marketed as sword and sorcery. As of ...
    1 week ago
  • The Kākā's Chorus for Friday, July 19

    An employee of tobacco company Philip Morris International demonstrates a heated tobacco device. Photo: Getty ImagesTL;DR: The top six things I’ve noted around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy on Friday, July 19 are:At a time when the Coalition Government is cutting spending on health, infrastructure, education, housing ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    1 week ago
  • The Kākā’s Pick 'n' Mix for Friday, July 19

    TL;DR: My pick of the top six links elsewhere around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day or so to 8:30 am on Friday, July 19 are:Scoop: NZ First Minister Casey Costello orders 50% cut to excise tax on heated tobacco products. The minister has ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    1 week ago
  • Weekly Roundup 19-July-2024

    Kia ora, it’s time for another Friday roundup, in which we pull together some of the links and stories that caught our eye this week. Feel free to add more in the comments! Our header image this week shows a foggy day in Auckland town, captured by Patrick Reynolds. ...
    Greater AucklandBy Greater Auckland
    1 week ago
  • Weekly Climate Wrap: A market-led plan for failure

    TL;DR : Here’s the top six items climate news for Aotearoa this week, as selected by Bernard Hickey and The Kākā’s climate correspondent Cathrine Dyer. A discussion recorded yesterday is in the video above and the audio of that sent onto the podcast feed.The Government released its draft Emissions Reduction ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    1 week ago
  • Tobacco First

    Save some money, get rich and old, bring it back to Tobacco Road.Bring that dynamite and a crane, blow it up, start all over again.Roll up. Roll up. Or tailor made, if you prefer...Whether you’re selling ciggies, digging for gold, catching dolphins in your nets, or encouraging folks to flutter ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    1 week ago
  • Trump’s Adopted Son.

    Waiting In The Wings: For truly, if Trump is America’s un-assassinated Caesar, then J.D. Vance is America’s Octavian, the Republic’s youthful undertaker – and its first Emperor.DONALD TRUMP’S SELECTION of James D. Vance as his running-mate bodes ill for the American republic. A fervent supporter of Viktor Orban, the “illiberal” prime ...
    1 week ago
  • The Kākā’s Journal of Record for Friday, July 19

    TL;DR: As of 6:00 am on Friday, July 19, the top six announcements, speeches, reports and research around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day are:The PSA announced the Employment Relations Authority (ERA) had ruled in the PSA’s favour in its case against the Ministry ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    1 week ago

  • Joint statement from the Prime Ministers of Canada, Australia and New Zealand

    Australia, Canada and New Zealand today issued the following statement on the need for an urgent ceasefire in Gaza and the risk of expanded conflict between Hizballah and Israel. The situation in Gaza is catastrophic. The human suffering is unacceptable. It cannot continue.  We remain unequivocal in our condemnation of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    18 hours ago
  • AG reminds institutions of legal obligations

    Attorney-General Judith Collins today reminded all State and faith-based institutions of their legal obligation to preserve records relevant to the safety and wellbeing of those in its care. “The Abuse in Care Inquiry’s report has found cases where records of the most vulnerable people in State and faith‑based institutions were ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    20 hours ago
  • More young people learning about digital safety

    Minister of Internal Affairs Brooke van Velden says the Government’s online safety website for children and young people has reached one million page views.  “It is great to see so many young people and their families accessing the site Keep It Real Online to learn how to stay safe online, and manage ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    21 hours ago
  • Speech to the Conference for General Practice 2024

    Tēnā tātou katoa,  Ngā mihi te rangi, ngā mihi te whenua, ngā mihi ki a koutou, kia ora mai koutou. Thank you for the opportunity to be here and the invitation to speak at this 50th anniversary conference. I acknowledge all those who have gone before us and paved the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    23 hours ago
  • Employers and payroll providers ready for tax changes

    New Zealand’s payroll providers have successfully prepared to ensure 3.5 million individuals will, from Wednesday next week, be able to keep more of what they earn each pay, says Finance Minister Nicola Willis and Revenue Minister Simon Watts.  “The Government's tax policy changes are legally effective from Wednesday. Delivering this tax ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Experimental vineyard futureproofs wine industry

    An experimental vineyard which will help futureproof the wine sector has been opened in Blenheim by Associate Regional Development Minister Mark Patterson. The covered vineyard, based at the New Zealand Wine Centre – Te Pokapū Wāina o Aotearoa, enables controlled environmental conditions. “The research that will be produced at the Experimental ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Funding confirmed for regions affected by North Island Weather Events

    The Coalition Government has confirmed the indicative regional breakdown of North Island Weather Event (NIWE) funding for state highway recovery projects funded through Budget 2024, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. “Regions in the North Island suffered extensive and devastating damage from Cyclone Gabrielle and the 2023 Auckland Anniversary Floods, and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Indonesian Foreign Minister to visit

    Indonesia’s Foreign Minister, Retno Marsudi, will visit New Zealand next week, Foreign Minister Winston Peters has announced.   “Indonesia is important to New Zealand’s security and economic interests and is our closest South East Asian neighbour,” says Mr Peters, who is currently in Laos to engage with South East Asian partners. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Strengthening partnership with Ngāti Maniapoto

    He aha te kai a te rangatira? He kōrero, he kōrero, he kōrero. The government has reaffirmed its commitment to supporting the aspirations of Ngāti Maniapoto, Minister for Māori Development Tama Potaka says. “My thanks to Te Nehenehenui Trust – Ngāti Maniapoto for bringing their important kōrero to a ministerial ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Transport Minister thanks outgoing CAA Chair

    Transport Minister Simeon Brown has thanked outgoing Chair of the Civil Aviation Authority, Janice Fredric, for her service to the board.“I have received Ms Fredric’s resignation from the role of Chair of the Civil Aviation Authority,” Mr Brown says.“On behalf of the Government, I want to thank Ms Fredric for ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Test for Customary Marine Title being restored

    The Government is proposing legislation to overturn a Court of Appeal decision and amend the Marine and Coastal Area Act in order to restore Parliament’s test for Customary Marine Title, Treaty Negotiations Minister Paul Goldsmith says.  “Section 58 required an applicant group to prove they have exclusively used and occupied ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Opposition united in bad faith over ECE sector review

    Regulation Minister David Seymour says that opposition parties have united in bad faith, opposing what they claim are ‘dangerous changes’ to the Early Childhood Education sector, despite no changes even being proposed yet.  “Issues with affordability and availability of early childhood education, and the complexity of its regulation, has led ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Kiwis having their say on first regulatory review

    After receiving more than 740 submissions in the first 20 days, Regulation Minister David Seymour is asking the Ministry for Regulation to extend engagement on the early childhood education regulation review by an extra two weeks.  “The level of interest has been very high, and from the conversations I’ve been ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Government upgrading Lower North Island commuter rail

    The Coalition Government is investing $802.9 million into the Wairarapa and Manawatū rail lines as part of a funding agreement with the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA), KiwiRail, and the Greater Wellington and Horizons Regional Councils to deliver more reliable services for commuters in the lower North Island, Transport Minister Simeon ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Government moves to ensure flood protection for Wairoa

    Local Government Minister Simeon Brown has announced his intention to appoint a Crown Manager to both Hawke’s Bay Regional and Wairoa District Councils to speed up the delivery of flood protection work in Wairoa."Recent severe weather events in Wairoa this year, combined with damage from Cyclone Gabrielle in 2023 have ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • PM speech to Parliament – Royal Commission of Inquiry’s Report into Abuse in Care

    Mr Speaker, this is a day that many New Zealanders who were abused in State care never thought would come. It’s the day that this Parliament accepts, with deep sorrow and regret, the Report of the Royal Commission of Inquiry into Abuse in Care.  At the heart of this report are the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Government acknowledges torture at Lake Alice

    For the first time, the Government is formally acknowledging some children and young people at Lake Alice Psychiatric Hospital experienced torture. The final report of the Royal Commission of Inquiry into Abuse in State and Faith-based Care “Whanaketia – through pain and trauma, from darkness to light,” was tabled in Parliament ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Government acknowledges courageous abuse survivors

    The Government has acknowledged the nearly 2,400 courageous survivors who shared their experiences during the Royal Commission of Inquiry into Historical Abuse in State and Faith-Based Care. The final report from the largest and most complex public inquiry ever held in New Zealand, the Royal Commission Inquiry “Whanaketia – through ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Half a million people use tax calculator

    With a week to go before hard-working New Zealanders see personal income tax relief for the first time in fourteen years, 513,000 people have used the Budget tax calculator to see how much they will benefit, says Finance Minister Nicola Willis.  “Tax relief is long overdue. From next Wednesday, personal income ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Paid Parental Leave improvements pass first reading

    Workplace Relations and Safety Minister Brooke van Velden says a bill that has passed its first reading will improve parental leave settings and give non-biological parents more flexibility as primary carer for their child. The Regulatory Systems Amendment Bill (No3), passed its first reading this morning. “It includes a change ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Rebuilding the economy through better regulation

    Two Bills designed to improve regulation and make it easier to do business have passed their first reading in Parliament, says Economic Development Minister Melissa Lee. The Regulatory Systems (Economic Development) Amendment Bill and Regulatory Systems (Immigration and Workforce) Amendment Bill make key changes to legislation administered by the Ministry ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • ‘Open banking’ and ‘open electricity’ on the way

    New legislation paves the way for greater competition in sectors such as banking and electricity, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly says. “Competitive markets boost productivity, create employment opportunities and lift living standards. To support competition, we need good quality regulation but, unfortunately, a recent OECD report ranked New ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Charity lotteries to be permitted to operate online

    Minister of Internal Affairs Brooke van Velden says lotteries for charitable purposes, such as those run by the Heart Foundation, Coastguard NZ, and local hospices, will soon be allowed to operate online permanently. “Under current laws, these fundraising lotteries are only allowed to operate online until October 2024, after which ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Accelerating Northland Expressway

    The Coalition Government is accelerating work on the new four-lane expressway between Auckland and Whangārei as part of its Roads of National Significance programme, with an accelerated delivery model to deliver this project faster and more efficiently, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. “For too long, the lack of resilient transport connections ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Sir Don to travel to Viet Nam as special envoy

    Sir Don McKinnon will travel to Viet Nam this week as a Special Envoy of the Government, Foreign Minister Winston Peters has announced.    “It is important that the Government give due recognition to the significant contributions that General Secretary Nguyen Phu Trong made to New Zealand-Viet Nam relations,” Mr ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Grant Illingworth KC appointed as transitional Commissioner to Royal Commission

    Minister of Internal Affairs Brooke van Velden says newly appointed Commissioner, Grant Illingworth KC, will help deliver the report for the first phase of the Royal Commission of Inquiry into COVID-19 Lessons, due on 28 November 2024.  “I am pleased to announce that Mr Illingworth will commence his appointment as ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • NZ to advance relationships with ASEAN partners

    Foreign Minister Winston Peters travels to Laos this week to participate in a series of Association of Southeast Asian Nations (ASEAN)-led Ministerial meetings in Vientiane.    “ASEAN plays an important role in supporting a peaceful, stable and prosperous Indo-Pacific,” Mr Peters says.   “This will be our third visit to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Backing mental health services on the West Coast

    Construction of a new mental health facility at Te Nikau Grey Hospital in Greymouth is today one step closer, Mental Health Minister Matt Doocey says. “This $27 million facility shows this Government is delivering on its promise to boost mental health care and improve front line services,” Mr Doocey says. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • NZ support for sustainable Pacific fisheries

    New Zealand is committing nearly $50 million to a package supporting sustainable Pacific fisheries development over the next four years, Foreign Minister Winston Peters and Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones announced today. “This support consisting of a range of initiatives demonstrates New Zealand’s commitment to assisting our Pacific partners ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Students’ needs at centre of new charter school adjustments

    Associate Education Minister David Seymour says proposed changes to the Education and Training Amendment Bill will ensure charter schools have more flexibility to negotiate employment agreements and are equipped with the right teaching resources. “Cabinet has agreed to progress an amendment which means unions will not be able to initiate ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Commissioner replaces Health NZ Board

    In response to serious concerns around oversight, overspend and a significant deterioration in financial outlook, the Board of Health New Zealand will be replaced with a Commissioner, Health Minister Dr Shane Reti announced today.  “The previous government’s botched health reforms have created significant financial challenges at Health NZ that, without ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Minister to speak at Australian Space Forum

    Minister for Space and Science, Innovation and Technology Judith Collins will travel to Adelaide tomorrow for space and science engagements, including speaking at the Australian Space Forum.  While there she will also have meetings and visits with a focus on space, biotechnology and innovation.  “New Zealand has a thriving space ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Climate Change Minister to attend climate action meeting in China

    Climate Change Minister Simon Watts will travel to China on Saturday to attend the Ministerial on Climate Action meeting held in Wuhan.  “Attending the Ministerial on Climate Action is an opportunity to advocate for New Zealand climate priorities and engage with our key partners on climate action,” Mr Watts says. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Oceans and Fisheries Minister to Solomons

    Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones is travelling to the Solomon Islands tomorrow for meetings with his counterparts from around the Pacific supporting collective management of the region’s fisheries. The 23rd Pacific Islands Forum Fisheries Committee and the 5th Regional Fisheries Ministers’ Meeting in Honiara from 23 to 26 July ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Government launches Military Style Academy Pilot

    The Government today launched the Military Style Academy Pilot at Te Au rere a te Tonga Youth Justice residence in Palmerston North, an important part of the Government’s plan to crackdown on youth crime and getting youth offenders back on track, Minister for Children, Karen Chhour said today. “On the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Nine priority bridge replacements to get underway

    The Government has welcomed news the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) has begun work to replace nine priority bridges across the country to ensure our state highway network remains resilient, reliable, and efficient for road users, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says.“Increasing productivity and economic growth is a key priority for the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Update on global IT outage

    Acting Prime Minister David Seymour has been in contact throughout the evening with senior officials who have coordinated a whole of government response to the global IT outage and can provide an update. The Department of the Prime Minister and Cabinet has designated the National Emergency Management Agency as the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
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  • New Zealand, Japan renew Pacific partnership

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