Written By:
notices and features - Date published:
3:00 pm, June 30th, 2015 - 87 comments
Categories: caption contest, humour, john key -
Tags: simon bridges
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No caption but O M G .Now I have truly seen the unbelievable š
Agree! Is that the *protection squad* bringing up the rear. What a hoot. Bet they’re embarrassed.
One day lad all this will be yours, well the bits I haven’t flogged that is.
Certainly explains Key’s helmet hair.
George Darroch on Twitter wins …
“Hello, do you have a minute to talk about our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ?”
https://twitter.com/mrdarroch/status/615463969155747840
“Looks like I’m about to expect a knock on my door from Mr. Key to have a conversation about Jesus.”
^^ That one has 243 likes on facebook.
“Blowing in the wind…just up ahead. You see it? You see it?!”
” Brake Bridges, brake “
The Wheels on the Tyke Go Round and Round…
“How do you stop this thing?”
“Mormon church first to use new cycleway.”
“These bikes are… tantalising…”
“New Green Party Bill Targets Bikie Gangs.”
I find these hats keep the toupee in place very well
The first environmentally friendly thing I’ve done since, umm, eerrr……
“Look, you’re told not to put your thumbs around the steering wheel to avoid broken thumbs, so what’s the diff?”
I laughed so hard when reading your captions that Miss 12 was worried for my sanity. Too witty you lot š
Key: “Does my head look big in this helmet?”
“Wait until they find out how much MBIE paid for all these matching bikes that’ll be used only once”
ROFL
Key: Only another couple of years, Simon, and we’ll take off your training wheels.
Or:
Bridges: (Thinks) I wonder if he’d like me more if I took the helmet off and let the breeze blow through my hair?
Someday we’ll find it
The rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers, and key
I deride mr hazy
“Drinkies in the crown limo round the corner, Simon?”
New Zealand launches it’s first ever Tour de France team and it will be managed by ex-Champion Lance Armstrong. Armstrong says they were looking for riders with questionable ethics, large egos and a win at all costs mentality. The team basically selected themselves he said.
š very good
How the ride John?
pity I couldnt afford this when I wanted to go to Christs or should I say afford to have mum declare our fortune while she was on a benefit
It wouldnt have boded well for my future ambitions if I had I suppose
Self deprecating sod
men of false humility on a shaky ride
Nah! I can’t think of a caption ..but sickening to think that average kiwis voted yet again for these ridiculous,publicity seeking photo opportunist, duplicitous disneyland dick heads…a few more adjectives but can’t be bothered. grrrr!
and the subject on the right provides an example of how an ill-fitting cycle helmet causes the condition of ‘swell-headedness’. Please note that neither the poorly fitted helmet nor the swell-headedness, despite appearing to allow for more air space around the brain, will protect you if you fall while riding a high horse.
No-one is riding a horse, it’s about the 300 million dollars, isn’t it? That they are wasting on cycle lanes, while kids starve?
No? Cycleways = more growth! more jobs! we need a bigger pie! rising tide lifts all boats! more strivers, fewer shirkers! That’s they way to solve poverty, not a piddly 300mil in the back pocket. Those in poverty don’t seem to appreciate the taxpayers money the get!
Some people are riding some very high horses called Arrogance and Contempt (imo).
WEEEEE!. (And I’m going commando too!!!)
Ha, They said I couldn’t talk and do other stuff, ha!
Ok you guys, I checked the route the other day,,,in a wee bit we will come across two twats laying on the road……If you don’t run over them your sacked,,,,,,follow me!
Next week the training wheels come off!!!!!
Wow, look at my helmet and weep ladies!
Are you really sure this is the answer to hiding my comb over?
Look at that fellas…I told you Paula had hidden talents,,,,,,See that wheelie and slam into those unemployed people…You cant buy talent like that.
Ok bodyguards,,,this week Mountain Bikes,,,,next week Uni Cycles or a tandem!
Wow thanks fellas, where did you steal them from? Oh the poor, that’s ok then, on wards!
Bicyleeeeeeeeeee Bicyleeeeeeeeeee I wanna trash these bicyles!!!!!
Fat Bottomed MPs,,,make the world go round
Whats these levers on the handle bar?
Its ok PM you wont need those, as we have detached the chain and they wont be of any use when we go down that huge hill!
Whats happened to the children Judith stole these off..
They are ok PM,,,Shes got them making cheap sneakers in an under ground dungeon…
Oh well that’s ok then
Ecosse_Maidy seems to scrolling something out of sight…..pretty quickly!
Ha, if we don’t pass the NZ Got Talent Auditions,,,,Heads will roll this time!
Judith Judith give me your answer doooooooo, I am halfffffffffffffff crazyyyyy oh for the lust of you!
When i was at Goldman Sachs we used to get free Porsches for ripping off investors…..I suppose this will have to do,,,,,,,,
This will have to do,,,,The USA has The Blue Eagles,,,The Uk The Red Arrows….
The peasants should just be grateful!
Ok on my command,,,,,,,unload the black and white spray and looopppp the looop
Trust me PM,,just another 300k and we will get to a golf course!
Tree in background..That’s all we need, another old gits day out….
The large seats area good fit fit for our little balls
You’re right it’s so much easier if we just sit on them in the back of a truck
Well Simon,,,,when you asked me along for a communal ride, i must say initially I was disappointed
Ok,,,ahead you see her? last one to get there and pull that ladies ponytail…..gets fired and has to speak to Colin Craig!
Well PM its taken over 50 odd years of in depth practice …..yet you have just about mastered this
Crash test Dummies On Patrol!
Stop grumbling, Simon.
Those BMWs were way too excessive for a government that is preaching social and fiscal responsibility. We’re asking Kiwi mums and dads to tighten their belts, and its only fair that we do the same.
I sold the Beemas to those nice Australians who took all our old state houses off our hands. They told me even though they’d been used, they still had a value, probably for parts. So, we didn’t get much for them, but we were able to buy these brand new bikes without risking our 2017 potential surplus.
PM, takes the lead in testing the prototype inflatable head gear air bag….
Right PM,,,You just ram right into the wall at full pelt, ok?
This will work wont it?…..ermm
Let’s see them complain about us using crown cars now eh Simon?
No Simon….You all have to wear the black ones……Me as PM and alpha male gorilla……I get to wear the silverback one!
This you will learn grasshopper.
That was rather pleasant Simon, how many people did we run over at that last pedestrian crossing?
PM auditions for Easy Rider Two!
Get your motor running..
head out on the highway..
looking for adventure..
and what ever comes our way….
Yeah darling going to make it happen…
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into space
I like smoke and lightning
Heavy metal thunder
Racin’ with the wind
And the feelin’ that I’m under
Yeah Darlin’ go make it happen
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into space
Like a true nature’s child
We were born, born to be Mild
We can climb so high
I never wanna die
Born to be Mild
Born to be Mild
Are we there yet?
No!
Are we there yet?
No
Are we there yet?
NO PM we aren’t!and you cant go to the toilet again!!!!
“Now all we need is a sleepy truck driver lol”
^^ from facebook.
“This photo opportunity alone is worth the $330 million dollars, son!”
Tour de la Nouvelle ZĆ©lande 2015: Itās a Tie!
KEEP LEFT you d*ckheads! You can’t expect tourists to keep left if you can’t.
āLook, thatās not a grimace and at the end of the day Iām relaxed and comfortable despite my sore buttā
‘Where the bloody hell are the Cabinet girls, Bridges? I would love to see Jude race Benne! What a hoot! Wonder who would win!”
āNobody will guess what hat Iām wearing nowā
Batman and Robin so concerned about Climate Change that they leave the Batmobile at the Batcave.
“Your dash is done – on yer bike son.”
Key and his office out for a vicious cycle.
The wheels are turning but this Government is dead.
Hit the road John and don’t cha come back
No more no more no more no more
Hit the road John and don’t cha come back
No more
MBIE’s new “indoor park” so huge it requires bikes to get around. “It’s a prudent use of taxpayers money”, John Key said on his inspection tour. “And the MBIE hair straighteners are so good for dealing with that annoying helmet hair”, he added. MBIE are looking at installing an unusual waterfall feature in the near future, using the increasing amounts of unsold milk now cluttering supermarket fridges.
Simple Simon met a Pieman going to a fair
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman What have you got there
Nothing for you you still owe me for the fuck up of the Northland by-election .
Seems john Key and Simon Bridges can even make wearing lycra look good.
key relaxed about his abundant forehead – bridges smirks into his low brow
Simon says, “Dear very honourabble Prime Minister, if you eye any passing pony tails, do keep your hands firmly around your handle! We don’t want any more trouble, do we!”
The National Party E.T. tribute ride struggles to get off the ground.
Key to Northland voters : “How many bridges have you seen?”
Answer: “Just the one!.., but crooked and shaky with lots of water flowing below…and Oh, crikey, the entire thing is now stinking like tĆ¼tae i tou nono! Yuk”
I’m glad they supplied ladies bikes for this photo op Simon, I have trouble getting my leg over these days.
I think you should have taken the polystyrene packaging out of the inside of your helmet Prime Minister before strapping it on. But I haven’t received any advice on that yet Simon.
I haven’t come this way before Simon. Me neither PM, it must be the cobblestones.
A few years ago there was a very popular disco song in E Africa about a chicken in platform shoes riding a bicycle all over the country (Kenya). It was called Fagilia by Mr Nice.
Perhaps this is what these two are singing while they look for Northland’s famed two lane bridges.