Caption Contest

Written By: - Date published: 3:00 pm, June 30th, 2015 - 87 comments
Categories: caption contest, humour, john key - Tags:

John Key Simon Bridges biking

87 comments on “Caption Contest”

  1. Hateatea 1

    No caption but O M G .Now I have truly seen the unbelievable 😉

    • Ffloyd 1.1

      Agree! Is that the *protection squad* bringing up the rear. What a hoot. Bet they’re embarrassed.

  2. tc 2

    One day lad all this will be yours, well the bits I haven’t flogged that is.

  3. Certainly explains Key’s helmet hair.

  4. mickysavage 4

    George Darroch on Twitter wins …

    “Hello, do you have a minute to talk about our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ?”

    https://twitter.com/mrdarroch/status/615463969155747840

    • maui 4.1

      “Looks like I’m about to expect a knock on my door from Mr. Key to have a conversation about Jesus.”

      ^^ That one has 243 likes on facebook.

  5. Bill 5

    “Blowing in the wind…just up ahead. You see it? You see it?!”

  6. Atiawa 6

    ” Brake Bridges, brake “

  7. Joy Clark 7

    The Wheels on the Tyke Go Round and Round…

  8. mac1 8

    “How do you stop this thing?”

  9. Charles 9

    “Mormon church first to use new cycleway.”

  10. Charles 10

    “These bikes are… tantalising…”

  11. Charles 11

    “New Green Party Bill Targets Bikie Gangs.”

  12. I find these hats keep the toupee in place very well

  13. Sable 13

    The first environmentally friendly thing I’ve done since, umm, eerrr……

  14. mac1 14

    “Look, you’re told not to put your thumbs around the steering wheel to avoid broken thumbs, so what’s the diff?”

  15. Hateatea 15

    I laughed so hard when reading your captions that Miss 12 was worried for my sanity. Too witty you lot 😀

  16. Key: “Does my head look big in this helmet?”

  17. McFlock 17

    “Wait until they find out how much MBIE paid for all these matching bikes that’ll be used only once”

  18. Key: Only another couple of years, Simon, and we’ll take off your training wheels.

    Or:

    Bridges: (Thinks) I wonder if he’d like me more if I took the helmet off and let the breeze blow through my hair?

  19. b waghorn 19

    Someday we’ll find it
    The rainbow connection
    The lovers, the dreamers, and key

  20. cogito 21

    “Drinkies in the crown limo round the corner, Simon?”

  21. maui 22

    New Zealand launches it’s first ever Tour de France team and it will be managed by ex-Champion Lance Armstrong. Armstrong says they were looking for riders with questionable ethics, large egos and a win at all costs mentality. The team basically selected themselves he said.

  22. Smilin 23

    How the ride John?
    pity I couldnt afford this when I wanted to go to Christs or should I say afford to have mum declare our fortune while she was on a benefit
    It wouldnt have boded well for my future ambitions if I had I suppose
    Self deprecating sod
    men of false humility on a shaky ride

  23. Rodel 24

    Nah! I can’t think of a caption ..but sickening to think that average kiwis voted yet again for these ridiculous,publicity seeking photo opportunist, duplicitous disneyland dick heads…a few more adjectives but can’t be bothered. grrrr!

  24. miravox 25

    and the subject on the right provides an example of how an ill-fitting cycle helmet causes the condition of ‘swell-headedness’. Please note that neither the poorly fitted helmet nor the swell-headedness, despite appearing to allow for more air space around the brain, will protect you if you fall while riding a high horse.

    • Sylvia 25.1

      No-one is riding a horse, it’s about the 300 million dollars, isn’t it? That they are wasting on cycle lanes, while kids starve?

      • miravox 25.1.1

        No? Cycleways = more growth! more jobs! we need a bigger pie! rising tide lifts all boats! more strivers, fewer shirkers! That’s they way to solve poverty, not a piddly 300mil in the back pocket. Those in poverty don’t seem to appreciate the taxpayers money the get!

        Some people are riding some very high horses called Arrogance and Contempt (imo).

  25. joe90 26

    WEEEEE!. (And I’m going commando too!!!)

  26. Ecosse_Maidy 27

    Ha, They said I couldn’t talk and do other stuff, ha!

  27. Ecosse_Maidy 28

    Ok you guys, I checked the route the other day,,,in a wee bit we will come across two twats laying on the road……If you don’t run over them your sacked,,,,,,follow me!

  28. Ecosse_Maidy 29

    Next week the training wheels come off!!!!!

  29. Ecosse_Maidy 30

    Wow, look at my helmet and weep ladies!

  30. Ecosse_Maidy 31

    Are you really sure this is the answer to hiding my comb over?

  31. Ecosse_Maidy 32

    Look at that fellas…I told you Paula had hidden talents,,,,,,See that wheelie and slam into those unemployed people…You cant buy talent like that.

  32. Ecosse_Maidy 33

    Ok bodyguards,,,this week Mountain Bikes,,,,next week Uni Cycles or a tandem!

  33. Ecosse_Maidy 34

    Wow thanks fellas, where did you steal them from? Oh the poor, that’s ok then, on wards!

  34. Ecosse_Maidy 35

    Bicyleeeeeeeeeee Bicyleeeeeeeeeee I wanna trash these bicyles!!!!!

  35. Ecosse_Maidy 36

    Fat Bottomed MPs,,,make the world go round

  36. Ecosse_Maidy 37

    Whats these levers on the handle bar?
    Its ok PM you wont need those, as we have detached the chain and they wont be of any use when we go down that huge hill!

  37. Ecosse_Maidy 38

    Whats happened to the children Judith stole these off..
    They are ok PM,,,Shes got them making cheap sneakers in an under ground dungeon…
    Oh well that’s ok then

  38. Ecosse_Maidy 39

    Ha, if we don’t pass the NZ Got Talent Auditions,,,,Heads will roll this time!

  39. Ecosse_Maidy 40

    Judith Judith give me your answer doooooooo, I am halfffffffffffffff crazyyyyy oh for the lust of you!

  40. Ecosse_Maidy 41

    When i was at Goldman Sachs we used to get free Porsches for ripping off investors…..I suppose this will have to do,,,,,,,,

  41. Ecosse_Maidy 42

    This will have to do,,,,The USA has The Blue Eagles,,,The Uk The Red Arrows….
    The peasants should just be grateful!
    Ok on my command,,,,,,,unload the black and white spray and looopppp the looop

  42. Ecosse_Maidy 43

    Trust me PM,,just another 300k and we will get to a golf course!

  43. Ecosse_Maidy 44

    Tree in background..That’s all we need, another old gits day out….

  44. Peter 45

    The large seats area good fit fit for our little balls

  45. Paul Campbell 46

    You’re right it’s so much easier if we just sit on them in the back of a truck

  46. Ecosse_Maidy 47

    Well Simon,,,,when you asked me along for a communal ride, i must say initially I was disappointed

  47. Ecosse_Maidy 48

    Ok,,,ahead you see her? last one to get there and pull that ladies ponytail…..gets fired and has to speak to Colin Craig!

  48. Ecosse_Maidy 49

    Well PM its taken over 50 odd years of in depth practice …..yet you have just about mastered this

  49. Ecosse_Maidy 50

    Crash test Dummies On Patrol!

  50. Thinkerr 51

    Stop grumbling, Simon.

    Those BMWs were way too excessive for a government that is preaching social and fiscal responsibility. We’re asking Kiwi mums and dads to tighten their belts, and its only fair that we do the same.

    I sold the Beemas to those nice Australians who took all our old state houses off our hands. They told me even though they’d been used, they still had a value, probably for parts. So, we didn’t get much for them, but we were able to buy these brand new bikes without risking our 2017 potential surplus.

  51. Ecosse_Maidy 52

    PM, takes the lead in testing the prototype inflatable head gear air bag….
    Right PM,,,You just ram right into the wall at full pelt, ok?
    This will work wont it?…..ermm

  52. NZSage 53

    Let’s see them complain about us using crown cars now eh Simon?

  53. Ecosse_Maidy 54

    No Simon….You all have to wear the black ones……Me as PM and alpha male gorilla……I get to wear the silverback one!

    This you will learn grasshopper.

  54. Ecosse_Maidy 55

    That was rather pleasant Simon, how many people did we run over at that last pedestrian crossing?

  55. Ecosse_Maidy 56

    PM auditions for Easy Rider Two!

    Get your motor running..
    head out on the highway..
    looking for adventure..
    and what ever comes our way….
    Yeah darling going to make it happen…
    Take the world in a love embrace
    Fire all of your guns at once
    And explode into space

    I like smoke and lightning
    Heavy metal thunder
    Racin’ with the wind
    And the feelin’ that I’m under

    Yeah Darlin’ go make it happen
    Take the world in a love embrace
    Fire all of your guns at once
    And explode into space

    Like a true nature’s child
    We were born, born to be Mild
    We can climb so high
    I never wanna die

    Born to be Mild
    Born to be Mild

  56. Ecosse_Maidy 57

    Are we there yet?
    No!
    Are we there yet?
    No
    Are we there yet?

    NO PM we aren’t!and you cant go to the toilet again!!!!

  57. maui 58

    “Now all we need is a sleepy truck driver lol”

    ^^ from facebook.

  58. Clemgeopin 59

    “This photo opportunity alone is worth the $330 million dollars, son!”

  59. Incognito 60

    Tour de la Nouvelle Zélande 2015: It’s a Tie!

  60. cogito 61

    KEEP LEFT you d*ckheads! You can’t expect tourists to keep left if you can’t.

  61. Incognito 62

    ”Look, that’s not a grimace and at the end of the day I’m relaxed and comfortable despite my sore butt”

  62. Clemgeopin 63

    ‘Where the bloody hell are the Cabinet girls, Bridges? I would love to see Jude race Benne! What a hoot! Wonder who would win!”

  63. Incognito 64

    ”Nobody will guess what hat I’m wearing now”

  64. Incognito 65

    Batman and Robin so concerned about Climate Change that they leave the Batmobile at the Batcave.

  65. repateet 66

    “Your dash is done – on yer bike son.”

  66. Stuart Munro 67

    Key and his office out for a vicious cycle.

  67. Incognito 68

    The wheels are turning but this Government is dead.

  68. Incognito 69

    Hit the road John and don’t cha come back
    No more no more no more no more
    Hit the road John and don’t cha come back
    No more

  69. Jester 70

    MBIE’s new “indoor park” so huge it requires bikes to get around. “It’s a prudent use of taxpayers money”, John Key said on his inspection tour. “And the MBIE hair straighteners are so good for dealing with that annoying helmet hair”, he added. MBIE are looking at installing an unusual waterfall feature in the near future, using the increasing amounts of unsold milk now cluttering supermarket fridges.

  70. Smilin 71

    Simple Simon met a Pieman going to a fair
    Said Simple Simon to the Pieman What have you got there
    Nothing for you you still owe me for the fuck up of the Northland by-election .

  71. adam 72

    Seems john Key and Simon Bridges can even make wearing lycra look good.

  72. key relaxed about his abundant forehead – bridges smirks into his low brow

  73. Clemgeopin 74

    Simon says, “Dear very honourabble Prime Minister, if you eye any passing pony tails, do keep your hands firmly around your handle! We don’t want any more trouble, do we!”

  74. Stuart Munro 75

    The National Party E.T. tribute ride struggles to get off the ground.

  75. Clemgeopin 76

    Key to Northland voters : “How many bridges have you seen?”
    Answer: “Just the one!.., but crooked and shaky with lots of water flowing below…and Oh, crikey, the entire thing is now stinking like tütae i tou nono! Yuk”

  76. rod 77

    I’m glad they supplied ladies bikes for this photo op Simon, I have trouble getting my leg over these days.

  77. rod 78

    I think you should have taken the polystyrene packaging out of the inside of your helmet Prime Minister before strapping it on. But I haven’t received any advice on that yet Simon.

  78. rod 79

    I haven’t come this way before Simon. Me neither PM, it must be the cobblestones.

  79. M Scott 80

    A few years ago there was a very popular disco song in E Africa about a chicken in platform shoes riding a bicycle all over the country (Kenya). It was called Fagilia by Mr Nice.

    Perhaps this is what these two are singing while they look for Northland’s famed two lane bridges.

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