Caption Contest

Written By: - Date published: 3:00 pm, June 30th, 2015 - 87 comments
Categories: caption contest, humour, john key - Tags:

John Key Simon Bridges biking

87 comments on “Caption Contest ”

  • Comments are now closed

  1. Hateatea 1
    30 June 2015 at 3:16 pm

    No caption but O M G .Now I have truly seen the unbelievable 😉

    • Ffloyd 1.1
      30 June 2015 at 3:57 pm

      Agree! Is that the *protection squad* bringing up the rear. What a hoot. Bet they’re embarrassed.

  2. tc 2
    30 June 2015 at 3:24 pm

    One day lad all this will be yours, well the bits I haven’t flogged that is.

  3. te reo putake 3
    30 June 2015 at 3:31 pm

    Certainly explains Key’s helmet hair.

  4. mickysavage 4
    30 June 2015 at 3:34 pm

    George Darroch on Twitter wins …

    “Hello, do you have a minute to talk about our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ?”

    https://twitter.com/mrdarroch/status/615463969155747840

    • maui 4.1
      30 June 2015 at 8:19 pm

      “Looks like I’m about to expect a knock on my door from Mr. Key to have a conversation about Jesus.”

      ^^ That one has 243 likes on facebook.

  5. Bill 5
    30 June 2015 at 3:36 pm

    “Blowing in the wind…just up ahead. You see it? You see it?!”

  6. Atiawa 6
    30 June 2015 at 3:45 pm

    ” Brake Bridges, brake “

  7. Joy Clark 7
    30 June 2015 at 3:47 pm

    The Wheels on the Tyke Go Round and Round…

  8. mac1 8
    30 June 2015 at 3:50 pm

    “How do you stop this thing?”

  9. Charles 9
    30 June 2015 at 3:50 pm

    “Mormon church first to use new cycleway.”

  10. Charles 10
    30 June 2015 at 3:55 pm

    “These bikes are… tantalising…”

  11. Charles 11
    30 June 2015 at 3:57 pm

    “New Green Party Bill Targets Bikie Gangs.”

  12. Ewan McDougall 12
    30 June 2015 at 4:10 pm

    I find these hats keep the toupee in place very well

  13. Sable 13
    30 June 2015 at 4:11 pm

    The first environmentally friendly thing I’ve done since, umm, eerrr……

  14. mac1 14
    30 June 2015 at 4:18 pm

    “Look, you’re told not to put your thumbs around the steering wheel to avoid broken thumbs, so what’s the diff?”

  15. Hateatea 15
    30 June 2015 at 4:19 pm

    I laughed so hard when reading your captions that Miss 12 was worried for my sanity. Too witty you lot 😀

  16. TeWhareWhero 16
    30 June 2015 at 4:31 pm

    Key: “Does my head look big in this helmet?”

  17. McFlock 17
    30 June 2015 at 4:37 pm

    “Wait until they find out how much MBIE paid for all these matching bikes that’ll be used only once”

  18. te reo putake 18
    30 June 2015 at 4:48 pm

    Key: Only another couple of years, Simon, and we’ll take off your training wheels.

    Or:

    Bridges: (Thinks) I wonder if he’d like me more if I took the helmet off and let the breeze blow through my hair?

  19. b waghorn 19
    30 June 2015 at 5:00 pm

    Someday we’ll find it
    The rainbow connection
    The lovers, the dreamers, and key

  20. marty mars 20
    30 June 2015 at 5:01 pm

    I deride mr hazy

  21. cogito 21
    30 June 2015 at 5:17 pm

    “Drinkies in the crown limo round the corner, Simon?”

  22. maui 22
    30 June 2015 at 5:32 pm

    New Zealand launches it’s first ever Tour de France team and it will be managed by ex-Champion Lance Armstrong. Armstrong says they were looking for riders with questionable ethics, large egos and a win at all costs mentality. The team basically selected themselves he said.

  23. Smilin 23
    30 June 2015 at 5:52 pm

    How the ride John?
    pity I couldnt afford this when I wanted to go to Christs or should I say afford to have mum declare our fortune while she was on a benefit
    It wouldnt have boded well for my future ambitions if I had I suppose
    Self deprecating sod
    men of false humility on a shaky ride

  24. Rodel 24
    30 June 2015 at 6:43 pm

    Nah! I can’t think of a caption ..but sickening to think that average kiwis voted yet again for these ridiculous,publicity seeking photo opportunist, duplicitous disneyland dick heads…a few more adjectives but can’t be bothered. grrrr!

  25. miravox 25
    30 June 2015 at 6:46 pm

    and the subject on the right provides an example of how an ill-fitting cycle helmet causes the condition of ‘swell-headedness’. Please note that neither the poorly fitted helmet nor the swell-headedness, despite appearing to allow for more air space around the brain, will protect you if you fall while riding a high horse.

    • Sylvia 25.1
      30 June 2015 at 6:52 pm

      No-one is riding a horse, it’s about the 300 million dollars, isn’t it? That they are wasting on cycle lanes, while kids starve?

      • miravox 25.1.1
        30 June 2015 at 7:27 pm

        No? Cycleways = more growth! more jobs! we need a bigger pie! rising tide lifts all boats! more strivers, fewer shirkers! That’s they way to solve poverty, not a piddly 300mil in the back pocket. Those in poverty don’t seem to appreciate the taxpayers money the get!

        Some people are riding some very high horses called Arrogance and Contempt (imo).

  26. joe90 26
    30 June 2015 at 6:57 pm

    WEEEEE!. (And I’m going commando too!!!)

  27. Ecosse_Maidy 27
    30 June 2015 at 7:37 pm

    Ha, They said I couldn’t talk and do other stuff, ha!

  28. Ecosse_Maidy 28
    30 June 2015 at 7:38 pm

    Ok you guys, I checked the route the other day,,,in a wee bit we will come across two twats laying on the road……If you don’t run over them your sacked,,,,,,follow me!

  29. Ecosse_Maidy 29
    30 June 2015 at 7:39 pm

    Next week the training wheels come off!!!!!

  30. Ecosse_Maidy 30
    30 June 2015 at 7:40 pm

    Wow, look at my helmet and weep ladies!

  31. Ecosse_Maidy 31
    30 June 2015 at 7:41 pm

    Are you really sure this is the answer to hiding my comb over?

  32. Ecosse_Maidy 32
    30 June 2015 at 7:47 pm

    Look at that fellas…I told you Paula had hidden talents,,,,,,See that wheelie and slam into those unemployed people…You cant buy talent like that.

  33. Ecosse_Maidy 33
    30 June 2015 at 7:48 pm

    Ok bodyguards,,,this week Mountain Bikes,,,,next week Uni Cycles or a tandem!

  34. Ecosse_Maidy 34
    30 June 2015 at 7:48 pm

    Wow thanks fellas, where did you steal them from? Oh the poor, that’s ok then, on wards!

  35. Ecosse_Maidy 35
    30 June 2015 at 7:49 pm

    Bicyleeeeeeeeeee Bicyleeeeeeeeeee I wanna trash these bicyles!!!!!

  36. Ecosse_Maidy 36
    30 June 2015 at 7:50 pm

    Fat Bottomed MPs,,,make the world go round

  37. Ecosse_Maidy 37
    30 June 2015 at 7:51 pm

    Whats these levers on the handle bar?
    Its ok PM you wont need those, as we have detached the chain and they wont be of any use when we go down that huge hill!

  38. Ecosse_Maidy 38
    30 June 2015 at 7:52 pm

    Whats happened to the children Judith stole these off..
    They are ok PM,,,Shes got them making cheap sneakers in an under ground dungeon…
    Oh well that’s ok then

  39. Ecosse_Maidy 39
    30 June 2015 at 7:53 pm

    Ha, if we don’t pass the NZ Got Talent Auditions,,,,Heads will roll this time!

  40. Ecosse_Maidy 40
    30 June 2015 at 7:55 pm

    Judith Judith give me your answer doooooooo, I am halfffffffffffffff crazyyyyy oh for the lust of you!

  41. Ecosse_Maidy 41
    30 June 2015 at 7:58 pm

    When i was at Goldman Sachs we used to get free Porsches for ripping off investors…..I suppose this will have to do,,,,,,,,

  42. Ecosse_Maidy 42
    30 June 2015 at 8:03 pm

    This will have to do,,,,The USA has The Blue Eagles,,,The Uk The Red Arrows….
    The peasants should just be grateful!
    Ok on my command,,,,,,,unload the black and white spray and looopppp the looop

  43. Ecosse_Maidy 43
    30 June 2015 at 8:03 pm

    Trust me PM,,just another 300k and we will get to a golf course!

  44. Ecosse_Maidy 44
    30 June 2015 at 8:04 pm

    Tree in background..That’s all we need, another old gits day out….

  45. Peter 45
    30 June 2015 at 8:04 pm

    The large seats area good fit fit for our little balls

  46. Paul Campbell 46
    30 June 2015 at 8:06 pm

    You’re right it’s so much easier if we just sit on them in the back of a truck

  47. Ecosse_Maidy 47
    30 June 2015 at 8:07 pm

    Well Simon,,,,when you asked me along for a communal ride, i must say initially I was disappointed

  48. Ecosse_Maidy 48
    30 June 2015 at 8:08 pm

    Ok,,,ahead you see her? last one to get there and pull that ladies ponytail…..gets fired and has to speak to Colin Craig!

  49. Ecosse_Maidy 49
    30 June 2015 at 8:11 pm

    Well PM its taken over 50 odd years of in depth practice …..yet you have just about mastered this

  50. Ecosse_Maidy 50
    30 June 2015 at 8:13 pm

    Crash test Dummies On Patrol!

  51. Thinkerr 51
    30 June 2015 at 8:15 pm

    Stop grumbling, Simon.

    Those BMWs were way too excessive for a government that is preaching social and fiscal responsibility. We’re asking Kiwi mums and dads to tighten their belts, and its only fair that we do the same.

    I sold the Beemas to those nice Australians who took all our old state houses off our hands. They told me even though they’d been used, they still had a value, probably for parts. So, we didn’t get much for them, but we were able to buy these brand new bikes without risking our 2017 potential surplus.

  52. Ecosse_Maidy 52
    30 June 2015 at 8:17 pm

    PM, takes the lead in testing the prototype inflatable head gear air bag….
    Right PM,,,You just ram right into the wall at full pelt, ok?
    This will work wont it?…..ermm

  53. NZSage 53
    30 June 2015 at 8:23 pm

    Let’s see them complain about us using crown cars now eh Simon?

  54. Ecosse_Maidy 54
    30 June 2015 at 8:24 pm

    No Simon….You all have to wear the black ones……Me as PM and alpha male gorilla……I get to wear the silverback one!

    This you will learn grasshopper.

  55. Ecosse_Maidy 55
    30 June 2015 at 8:25 pm

    That was rather pleasant Simon, how many people did we run over at that last pedestrian crossing?

  56. Ecosse_Maidy 56
    30 June 2015 at 8:32 pm

    PM auditions for Easy Rider Two!

    Get your motor running..
    head out on the highway..
    looking for adventure..
    and what ever comes our way….
    Yeah darling going to make it happen…
    Take the world in a love embrace
    Fire all of your guns at once
    And explode into space

    I like smoke and lightning
    Heavy metal thunder
    Racin’ with the wind
    And the feelin’ that I’m under

    Yeah Darlin’ go make it happen
    Take the world in a love embrace
    Fire all of your guns at once
    And explode into space

    Like a true nature’s child
    We were born, born to be Mild
    We can climb so high
    I never wanna die

    Born to be Mild
    Born to be Mild

  57. Ecosse_Maidy 57
    30 June 2015 at 8:33 pm

    Are we there yet?
    No!
    Are we there yet?
    No
    Are we there yet?

    NO PM we aren’t!and you cant go to the toilet again!!!!

  58. maui 58
    30 June 2015 at 8:34 pm

    “Now all we need is a sleepy truck driver lol”

    ^^ from facebook.

  59. Clemgeopin 59
    30 June 2015 at 9:10 pm

    “This photo opportunity alone is worth the $330 million dollars, son!”

  60. Incognito 60
    30 June 2015 at 9:24 pm

    Tour de la Nouvelle ZĂ©lande 2015: It’s a Tie!

  61. cogito 61
    30 June 2015 at 9:30 pm

    KEEP LEFT you d*ckheads! You can’t expect tourists to keep left if you can’t.

  62. Incognito 62
    30 June 2015 at 9:31 pm

    ”Look, that’s not a grimace and at the end of the day I’m relaxed and comfortable despite my sore butt”

  63. Clemgeopin 63
    30 June 2015 at 9:36 pm

    ‘Where the bloody hell are the Cabinet girls, Bridges? I would love to see Jude race Benne! What a hoot! Wonder who would win!”

  64. Incognito 64
    30 June 2015 at 9:40 pm

    ”Nobody will guess what hat I’m wearing now”

  65. Incognito 65
    30 June 2015 at 9:47 pm

    Batman and Robin so concerned about Climate Change that they leave the Batmobile at the Batcave.

  66. repateet 66
    30 June 2015 at 9:57 pm

    “Your dash is done – on yer bike son.”

  67. Stuart Munro 67
    30 June 2015 at 10:00 pm

    Key and his office out for a vicious cycle.

  68. Incognito 68
    30 June 2015 at 10:12 pm

    The wheels are turning but this Government is dead.

  69. Incognito 69
    30 June 2015 at 10:16 pm

    Hit the road John and don’t cha come back
    No more no more no more no more
    Hit the road John and don’t cha come back
    No more

  70. Jester 70
    30 June 2015 at 10:16 pm

    MBIE’s new “indoor park” so huge it requires bikes to get around. “It’s a prudent use of taxpayers money”, John Key said on his inspection tour. “And the MBIE hair straighteners are so good for dealing with that annoying helmet hair”, he added. MBIE are looking at installing an unusual waterfall feature in the near future, using the increasing amounts of unsold milk now cluttering supermarket fridges.

  71. Smilin 71
    30 June 2015 at 10:21 pm

    Simple Simon met a Pieman going to a fair
    Said Simple Simon to the Pieman What have you got there
    Nothing for you you still owe me for the fuck up of the Northland by-election .

  72. adam 72
    30 June 2015 at 10:24 pm

    Seems john Key and Simon Bridges can even make wearing lycra look good.

  73. marty mars 73
    30 June 2015 at 10:53 pm

    key relaxed about his abundant forehead – bridges smirks into his low brow

  74. Clemgeopin 74
    1 July 2015 at 12:02 am

    Simon says, “Dear very honourabble Prime Minister, if you eye any passing pony tails, do keep your hands firmly around your handle! We don’t want any more trouble, do we!”

  75. Stuart Munro 75
    1 July 2015 at 12:36 am

    The National Party E.T. tribute ride struggles to get off the ground.

  76. Clemgeopin 76
    1 July 2015 at 2:04 am

    Key to Northland voters : “How many bridges have you seen?”
    Answer: “Just the one!.., but crooked and shaky with lots of water flowing below…and Oh, crikey, the entire thing is now stinking like tĂŒtae i tou nono! Yuk”

  77. rod 77
    1 July 2015 at 10:18 am

    I’m glad they supplied ladies bikes for this photo op Simon, I have trouble getting my leg over these days.

  78. rod 78
    1 July 2015 at 10:26 am

    I think you should have taken the polystyrene packaging out of the inside of your helmet Prime Minister before strapping it on. But I haven’t received any advice on that yet Simon.

  79. rod 79
    1 July 2015 at 11:01 am

    I haven’t come this way before Simon. Me neither PM, it must be the cobblestones.

  80. M Scott 80
    4 July 2015 at 12:13 pm

    A few years ago there was a very popular disco song in E Africa about a chicken in platform shoes riding a bicycle all over the country (Kenya). It was called Fagilia by Mr Nice.

    Perhaps this is what these two are singing while they look for Northland’s famed two lane bridges.

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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago

  • Supporting better financial outcomes for Kiwis
    The Government is reforming financial services to improve access to home loans and other lending, and strengthen customer protections, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly and Housing Minister Chris Bishop announced today. “Our coalition Government is committed to rebuilding the economy and making life simpler by cutting red tape. We are ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago

  • Trade relationship with China remains strong
    “China remains a strong commercial opportunity for Kiwi exporters as Chinese businesses and consumers continue to value our high-quality safe produce,” Trade and Agriculture Minister Todd McClay says.   Mr McClay has returned to New Zealand following visits to Beijing, Harbin and Shanghai where he met ministers, governors and mayors and engaged in trade and agricultural events with the New ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago

  • PM’s South East Asia mission does the business
    Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has completed a successful trip to Singapore, Thailand and the Philippines, deepening relationships and capitalising on opportunities. Mr Luxon was accompanied by a business delegation and says the choice of countries represents the priority the New Zealand Government places on South East Asia, and our relationships in ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago

  • $41m to support clean energy in South East Asia
    New Zealand is demonstrating its commitment to reducing global greenhouse emissions, and supporting clean energy transition in South East Asia, through a contribution of NZ$41 million (US$25 million) in climate finance to the Asian Development Bank (ADB)-led Energy Transition Mechanism (ETM). Prime Minister Christopher Luxon and Climate Change Minister Simon Watts announced ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago

  • Minister releases Fast-track stakeholder list
    The Government is today releasing a list of organisations who received letters about the Fast-track applications process, says RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop. “Recently Ministers and agencies have received a series of OIA requests for a list of organisations to whom I wrote with information on applying to have a ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago

  • Judicial appointments announced
    Attorney-General Judith Collins today announced the appointment of Wellington Barrister David Jonathan Boldt as a Judge of the High Court, and the Honourable Justice Matthew Palmer as a Judge of the Court of Appeal. Justice Boldt graduated with an LLB from Victoria University of Wellington in 1990, and also holds ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago

  • Education Minister heads to major teaching summit in Singapore
    Education Minister Erica Stanford will lead the New Zealand delegation at the 2024 International Summit on the Teaching Profession (ISTP) held in Singapore. The delegation includes representatives from the Post Primary Teachers’ Association (PPTA) Te Wehengarua and the New Zealand Educational Institute (NZEI) Te Riu Roa.  The summit is co-hosted ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago

  • Value of stopbank project proven during cyclone
    A stopbank upgrade project in Tairawhiti partly funded by the Government has increased flood resilience for around 7000ha of residential and horticultural land so far, Regional Development Minister Shane Jones says. Mr Jones today attended a dawn service in Gisborne to mark the end of the first stage of the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago

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