web analytics

Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 3:45 pm, September 1st, 2015 - 90 comments
Categories: caption contest - Tags:

john key money

90 comments on “Caption contest ”

  1. mickysavage 1

    The flag design John Key really preferred …

  2. ‘PM shows off his hourly rate’

  3. Ant 3

    Rock-star shawl. Help yourself guys, there’s plenty more where this comes from!

  4. ‘John Key finally discloses just how much of his parliamentary salary he donates to charity each month’

  5. McFlock 5

    John key thoroughly ducked.

  6. maui 6

    PM thought he was untouchable in brazen counterfeiting scheme.

  7. mac1 7

    “I’ve got ten million of these!”

  8. At least the $10 notes look much better than that horrible cheesy grin.

  9. maui 9

    Government saves economy and endangered duck my massive print of almost real plastic ducks.

  10. les 10

    my new curtains…looking for matching carpet.

  11. Bill 11

    (Through gritted teeth) “Some fucker just mentioned Norway. Take em out back…”

    http://www.geek.com/news/norways-beautiful-new-pixelated-banknotes-are-more-than-meets-the-eye-1606520/

  12. weka 12

    Sorry Kate, I can’t quite reach the head, but will a quick shit on the shoulder do?

    • Lanthanide 12.1

      ?

      • maui 12.1.1

        Took me a while too, Check out the background.

      • weka 12.1.2

        Kate Sheppard and a blue duck are behind Key.

        • Macro 12.1.2.1

          John thinks he’s worth 25 Kates

        • Lanthanide 12.1.2.2

          Still don’t get it.

          • weka 12.1.2.2.1

            The duck is looking at Kate, they’ve been having a conversation, and the duck says it can’t reach Key’s head to shit on it, but it can reach his shoulder. It’s just the visuals of the duck and its bum and the way it’s facing, it’s a classic blue duck stance I think, and I liked to think that that the duck and Kate would both be of a like mind about appropriate political behaviour towards Key…. oh never mind.

  13. Cat Weasel 13

    PM unveils new strategy for achieving that elusive surplus.

  14. weka 14

    PM grits his teeth as he holds the money the common people use.

  15. swordfish 15

    Fake holds up counterfeits

  16. swordfish 16

    Room full of counterfeits, one of which is human.

  17. feijoa 17

    This is how much money the country’s got left

    • half crown 17.1

      That is shit hot pal. Made me laugh, and lets face face it, we need a fucking laugh the way the fucking spiv is selling this once great country down the river.

  18. dv 18

    Look we have got a surplus.

  19. rod 19

    My real love, money, money, money. In a rich mans world.

  20. key holds up the latest book he has just finished reading

  21. maui 21

    Prime Minister gradually becoming more visible to the public due to hollowed out currency.

  22. Pat 22

    “….and this is my picture.”

  23. peteh 23

    Now you see it soon its gone

  24. Neil 24

    PM displays his new toilet paper.

  25. Chooky 25

    everyone and everything can be bought

    …including a nation’s flag

    …and the nation itself

  26. Mike the Savage One 26

    “Kim John Key”, “Leader on the Shining Path to the Eternal Brighter Future” proclaims, these are the intermediate, transitional new bank notes for you people. I have just handed in the draft proposals for MY new bank notes, to be printed in time during mid 2017. They will bear my handsome features, so you will all remember me, for eternity.

    New voting papers will be introduced also, by Elections NZ, bearing two options, aye or naye, and it will be my face next to the positive box to tick, and one other box with no name, for those so determinedly negative spoilers, who are always against me and MY “enlightened” government.

    This will be the new effective election system at play, streamlined, for delivering results, using the “leaner” and “better” public service approach, that we brought in.

  27. NZSage 27

    John just couldn’t hide his pleasure as he presented the first agenda item at Sky City’s AGM.

  28. Sirenia 28

    Kate bites evil man’s head

  29. JanM 29

    It’s ok, there’s plenty more – They’re off my tree in the back yard

  30. KickerXV 30

    “I too am just treading water”

  31. Macro 31

    johns contribution to the new flag.. if only it had a fern

  32. swordfish 32

    PM: If I had a dollar for every time I’ve lied to the media, this is how much I woulda made in August

    • swordfish 32.1

      PM: If I had a dollar for every time the media’s let me get away with those bare-faced lies, this is how much I woulda made in August

      • swordfish 32.1.1

        PM: if I had a dollar for every time I’ve let Mike Hosking slobber all over me, rubbing his wet, shiny nose against my cheek as I pat him on the head and stroke his fur while he excitedly wags his tail, this is how much I woulda made in August

  33. Ecosse_Maidy 33

    John Keys showed off his attempt at the new craze of adult coloring in books!

  34. Ecosse_Maidy 34

    Keys, insists…noooooo it’s a Real Banksy!!!!

  35. Ecosse_Maidy 35

    NZ Antiques Roadshow……..Keys……tries to get the bidding above $3………..come on these are real $10..u fucks………who will raise their offer to $3.50???

  36. CnrJoe 36

    P.M DISGUISES PUBLIC ERECTION WITH GUARANTEED DISTRACTION.

  37. Ecosse_Maidy 37

    You may call this printing money and giving it to the banks & corps..I prefer to call it Quantative Easing……

  38. Ecosse_Maidy 38

    Yes,,,,I will show you..this is what i was paid for a night out with Judith,Paula and the girls.

  39. Ecosse_Maidy 39

    I was offered Magic beans or this amount of Cash from The Chinese Gvt for the whole of the south island….You would be proud of me..I turned down the beans! that’s why i was a Banker and you lot aren’t.

  40. Ecosse_Maidy 40

    You wait till next week..when I show off the $1,000,000 notes!

  41. Ecosse_Maidy 41

    Bargain!!!! I Just sold my soul for this amount suckers!

  42. mikesh 42

    Take one last look, guys, we’re just about to bring in the cashless society.

  43. Ecosse_Maidy 43

    Keys shows off WINZs new food stamps for 100 families

  44. Ecosse_Maidy 44

    Keys, shows any one that will look and listen…his new postage stamp collection

  45. Ecosse_Maidy 45

    keys is presented with his new personalized bullet proof vest

  46. Ecosse_Maidy 46

    Keys demonstrates……new household solar panel..for rich people only

  47. Ecosse_Maidy 47

    Hey..who said i couldn’t multi task…..look a evil smile and using my fingers at same time..

    In your face critics!!!!

  48. Ecosse_Maidy 48

    I compromised!!!!!!……..My face is just all over the reverse!

  49. Ecosse_Maidy 49

    Right come on cabinet…its gonna take more than this for the hair transplant……..dig deeper!

  50. Ecosse_Maidy 50

    Hey, fuckwits, look what i won at the sky city casino!

  51. Melanie Scott 51

    “Wow, this is what I got for the whole of New Zealand – pity it’s only funny money!”

  52. Vanessa King 52

    If you work really hardyou can earn one of these cleaning the toilets in Parliament

  53. sabine 53

    and it only cost ya 89 million and a bit of change to print that.

    suckers

  54. Ad 54

    The Prime Minister finally takes Colonial Viper’s advice (and just prints money)

  55. cogito 55

    Leading by ducksample.

  56. Enough 56

    It’s facilitation NOT compensation.

  57. cogito 57

    Key: “Look, no ponytails!”

  58. Gael 58

    And while you blind sheep out there are discussing the flag and the new pretty security tracking capable money we will be printing to prop up the economy in election year, parliament is in recess this week because…..

  59. Ron 59

    Money makes the world go round that clinking clanking sound.
    –Kander/Ebb

  60. cogito 60

    Key: “Yup, well aktchually I just wanted to show the Security Council that we’ve got a pretty big sheet of $10 notes so we can definitely contribute to the refugee crisis in Europe”.

  61. Drowsy M. Kram 61

    “They’re Telfon-coated, just like me.”

    One blue polly behind a money wall
    One blue polly hanging with McCaw
    And if this blue polly should accidently fall
    Thanks to Crosby/Textor spin he’ll soon be standing tall.

  62. NZJester 62

    The Prime Minister shows off the wanted poster of the next native species the under funded DOC is going to hire hunters to accidentally go shoot instead the ducks they are meant to hunt.

  63. Geraldine Radovanovich 63

    Looks like a duck, quacks like a duck. WTF.

  64. miravox 64

    Loose change

  65. risildowgtn 65

    Nu Zilland is sold..

    this is what i got for it

  66. Paul Campbell 66

    We were going to use them as sheets, but we’re going to wait for the 100s

  67. fender 67

    Me, MY All Blacks and MY silver fern will be on the new $100 notes

  68. Dorothy Bulling 68

    Is this enough to buy the emperor his new clothes?

  69. fender 69

    Key combines his two obsessions: Derp face selfies and money.

  70. Chromophore 70

    John Key to media pack

    “Just relax, breath deeply and gaze at this picture for a minute or two and miraculously, you’ll spot the smiling face of God hovering above it.”

  71. kimu 71

    my new wallpaper has finally arrived. oh joy.

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Celebrating the Entry Into Force of the Treaty on the Prohibition of Nuclear Weapons
    [Opening comments, welcome and thank you to Auckland University etc] It is a great pleasure to be here this afternoon to celebrate such an historic occasion - the entry into force of the Treaty on the Prohibition of Nuclear Weapons. This is a moment many feared would never come, but ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Supporting disabled people to stay connected
    The Government is providing $3 million in one-off seed funding to help disabled people around New Zealand stay connected and access support in their communities, Minister for Disability Issues, Carmel Sepuloni announced today. The funding will allow disability service providers to develop digital and community-based solutions over the next two ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Voluntary saliva testing offered to quarantine workers from Monday
    Border workers in quarantine facilities will be offered voluntary daily COVID-19 saliva tests in addition to their regular weekly testing, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. This additional option will be rolled out at the Jet Park Quarantine facility in Auckland starting on Monday 25 January, and then to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Next steps in firearms buy-back
    The next steps in the Government’s ambitious firearms reform programme to include a three-month buy-back have been announced by Police Minister Poto Williams today.  “The last buy-back and amnesty was unprecedented for New Zealand and was successful in collecting 60,297 firearms, modifying a further 5,630 firearms, and collecting 299,837 prohibited ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Jobs for Nature projects target iconic ecosystems
    Upscaling work already underway to restore two iconic ecosystems will deliver jobs and a lasting legacy, Conservation Minister Kiri Allan says.  “The Jobs for Nature programme provides $1.25 billion over four years to offer employment opportunities for people whose livelihoods have been impacted by the COVID-19 recession. “Two new projects ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • New Public Housing Plan announced
    The Government has released its Public Housing Plan 2021-2024 which outlines the intention of where 8,000 additional public and transitional housing places announced in Budget 2020, will go. “The Government is committed to continuing its public house build programme at pace and scale. The extra 8,000 homes – 6000 public ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Prime Minister congratulates President Joe Biden on his inauguration
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has congratulated President Joe Biden on his inauguration as the 46th President of the United States of America. “I look forward to building a close relationship with President Biden and working with him on issues that matter to both our countries,” Jacinda Ardern said. “New Zealand ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Jobs for Nature funding will create training and employment opportunities
    A major investment to tackle wilding pines in Mt Richmond will create jobs and help protect the area’s unique ecosystems, Biosecurity Minister Damien O’Connor says. The Mt Richmond Forest Park has unique ecosystems developed on mineral-rich geology, including taonga plant species found nowhere else in the country. “These special plant ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Pre-departure testing extended to all passengers to New Zealand
    To further protect New Zealand from COVID-19, the Government is extending pre-departure testing to all passengers to New Zealand except from Australia, Antarctica and most Pacific Islands, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “The change will come into force for all flights arriving in New Zealand after 11:59pm (NZT) on Monday ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Bay Cadets learn skills to protect environment
    Bay Conservation Cadets launched with first intake Supported with $3.5 million grant Part of $1.245b Jobs for Nature programme to accelerate recover from Covid Cadets will learn skills to protect and enhance environment Environment Minister David Parker today welcomed the first intake of cadets at the launch of the Bay ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Cook Islanders to resume travel to New Zealand
    The Prime Minister of New Zealand Jacinda Ardern and the Prime Minister of the Cook Islands Mark Brown have announced passengers from the Cook Islands can resume quarantine-free travel into New Zealand from 21 January, enabling access to essential services such as health. “Following confirmation of the Cook Islands’ COVID ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Supporting communities and landowners to grow employment opportunities
    Jobs for Nature funding is being made available to conservation groups and landowners to employ staff and contractors in a move aimed at boosting local biodiversity-focused projects, Conservation Minister Kiritapu Allan has announced. It is estimated some 400-plus jobs will be created with employment opportunities in ecology, restoration, trapping, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Border exception for some returning international tertiary students
    The Government has approved an exception class for 1000 international tertiary students, degree level and above, who began their study in New Zealand but were caught offshore when border restrictions began. The exception will allow students to return to New Zealand in stages from April 2021. “Our top priority continues ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Tiwai deal gives time for managed transition
    Today’s deal between Meridian and Rio Tinto for the Tiwai smelter to remain open another four years provides time for a managed transition for Southland. “The deal provides welcome certainty to the Southland community by protecting jobs and incomes as the region plans for the future. The Government is committed ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New member for APEC Business Advisory Council
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has appointed Anna Curzon to the APEC Business Advisory Council (ABAC). The leader of each APEC economy appoints three private sector representatives to ABAC. ABAC provides advice to leaders annually on business priorities. “ABAC helps ensure that APEC’s work programme is informed by business community perspectives ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Govt’s careful economic management recognised
    The Government’s prudent fiscal management and strong policy programme in the face of the COVID-19 global pandemic have been acknowledged by the credit rating agency Fitch. Fitch has today affirmed New Zealand’s local currency rating at AA+ with a stable outlook and foreign currency rating at AA with a positive ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Additional actions to keep COVID-19 out of NZ
    The Government is putting in place a suite of additional actions to protect New Zealand from COVID-19, including new emerging variants, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “Given the high rates of infection in many countries and evidence of the global spread of more transmissible variants, it’s clear that ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • 19 projects will clean up and protect waterways
    $36 million of Government funding alongside councils and others for 19 projects Investment will clean up and protect waterways and create local jobs Boots on the ground expected in Q2 of 2021 Funding part of the Jobs for Nature policy package A package of 19 projects will help clean up ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New Zealand Government acknowledges 175th anniversary of Battle of Ruapekapeka
    The commemoration of the 175th anniversary of the Battle of Ruapekapeka represents an opportunity for all New Zealanders to reflect on the role these conflicts have had in creating our modern nation, says Associate Minister for Arts, Culture and Heritage Kiri Allan. “The Battle at Te Ruapekapeka Pā, which took ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago