web analytics

Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 3:45 pm, September 1st, 2015 - 90 comments
Categories: caption contest - Tags:

john key money

90 comments on “Caption contest ”

  1. mickysavage 1

    The flag design John Key really preferred …

  2. ‘PM shows off his hourly rate’

  3. Ant 3

    Rock-star shawl. Help yourself guys, there’s plenty more where this comes from!

  4. ‘John Key finally discloses just how much of his parliamentary salary he donates to charity each month’

  5. McFlock 5

    John key thoroughly ducked.

  6. maui 6

    PM thought he was untouchable in brazen counterfeiting scheme.

  7. mac1 7

    “I’ve got ten million of these!”

  8. At least the $10 notes look much better than that horrible cheesy grin.

  9. maui 9

    Government saves economy and endangered duck my massive print of almost real plastic ducks.

  10. les 10

    my new curtains…looking for matching carpet.

  11. Bill 11

    (Through gritted teeth) “Some fucker just mentioned Norway. Take em out back…”

    http://www.geek.com/news/norways-beautiful-new-pixelated-banknotes-are-more-than-meets-the-eye-1606520/

  12. weka 12

    Sorry Kate, I can’t quite reach the head, but will a quick shit on the shoulder do?

    • Lanthanide 12.1

      ?

      • maui 12.1.1

        Took me a while too, Check out the background.

      • weka 12.1.2

        Kate Sheppard and a blue duck are behind Key.

        • Macro 12.1.2.1

          John thinks he’s worth 25 Kates

        • Lanthanide 12.1.2.2

          Still don’t get it.

          • weka 12.1.2.2.1

            The duck is looking at Kate, they’ve been having a conversation, and the duck says it can’t reach Key’s head to shit on it, but it can reach his shoulder. It’s just the visuals of the duck and its bum and the way it’s facing, it’s a classic blue duck stance I think, and I liked to think that that the duck and Kate would both be of a like mind about appropriate political behaviour towards Key…. oh never mind.

  13. Cat Weasel 13

    PM unveils new strategy for achieving that elusive surplus.

  14. weka 14

    PM grits his teeth as he holds the money the common people use.

  15. swordfish 15

    Fake holds up counterfeits

  16. swordfish 16

    Room full of counterfeits, one of which is human.

  17. feijoa 17

    This is how much money the country’s got left

    • half crown 17.1

      That is shit hot pal. Made me laugh, and lets face face it, we need a fucking laugh the way the fucking spiv is selling this once great country down the river.

  18. dv 18

    Look we have got a surplus.

  19. rod 19

    My real love, money, money, money. In a rich mans world.

  20. key holds up the latest book he has just finished reading

  21. maui 21

    Prime Minister gradually becoming more visible to the public due to hollowed out currency.

  22. Pat 22

    “….and this is my picture.”

  23. peteh 23

    Now you see it soon its gone

  24. Neil 24

    PM displays his new toilet paper.

  25. Chooky 25

    everyone and everything can be bought

    …including a nation’s flag

    …and the nation itself

  26. Mike the Savage One 26

    “Kim John Key”, “Leader on the Shining Path to the Eternal Brighter Future” proclaims, these are the intermediate, transitional new bank notes for you people. I have just handed in the draft proposals for MY new bank notes, to be printed in time during mid 2017. They will bear my handsome features, so you will all remember me, for eternity.

    New voting papers will be introduced also, by Elections NZ, bearing two options, aye or naye, and it will be my face next to the positive box to tick, and one other box with no name, for those so determinedly negative spoilers, who are always against me and MY “enlightened” government.

    This will be the new effective election system at play, streamlined, for delivering results, using the “leaner” and “better” public service approach, that we brought in.

  27. NZSage 27

    John just couldn’t hide his pleasure as he presented the first agenda item at Sky City’s AGM.

  28. Sirenia 28

    Kate bites evil man’s head

  29. JanM 29

    It’s ok, there’s plenty more – They’re off my tree in the back yard

  30. KickerXV 30

    “I too am just treading water”

  31. Macro 31

    johns contribution to the new flag.. if only it had a fern

  32. swordfish 32

    PM: If I had a dollar for every time I’ve lied to the media, this is how much I woulda made in August

    • swordfish 32.1

      PM: If I had a dollar for every time the media’s let me get away with those bare-faced lies, this is how much I woulda made in August

      • swordfish 32.1.1

        PM: if I had a dollar for every time I’ve let Mike Hosking slobber all over me, rubbing his wet, shiny nose against my cheek as I pat him on the head and stroke his fur while he excitedly wags his tail, this is how much I woulda made in August

  33. Ecosse_Maidy 33

    John Keys showed off his attempt at the new craze of adult coloring in books!

  34. Ecosse_Maidy 34

    Keys, insists…noooooo it’s a Real Banksy!!!!

  35. Ecosse_Maidy 35

    NZ Antiques Roadshow……..Keys……tries to get the bidding above $3………..come on these are real $10..u fucks………who will raise their offer to $3.50???

  36. CnrJoe 36

    P.M DISGUISES PUBLIC ERECTION WITH GUARANTEED DISTRACTION.

  37. Ecosse_Maidy 37

    You may call this printing money and giving it to the banks & corps..I prefer to call it Quantative Easing……

  38. Ecosse_Maidy 38

    Yes,,,,I will show you..this is what i was paid for a night out with Judith,Paula and the girls.

  39. Ecosse_Maidy 39

    I was offered Magic beans or this amount of Cash from The Chinese Gvt for the whole of the south island….You would be proud of me..I turned down the beans! that’s why i was a Banker and you lot aren’t.

  40. Ecosse_Maidy 40

    You wait till next week..when I show off the $1,000,000 notes!

  41. Ecosse_Maidy 41

    Bargain!!!! I Just sold my soul for this amount suckers!

  42. mikesh 42

    Take one last look, guys, we’re just about to bring in the cashless society.

  43. Ecosse_Maidy 43

    Keys shows off WINZs new food stamps for 100 families

  44. Ecosse_Maidy 44

    Keys, shows any one that will look and listen…his new postage stamp collection

  45. Ecosse_Maidy 45

    keys is presented with his new personalized bullet proof vest

  46. Ecosse_Maidy 46

    Keys demonstrates……new household solar panel..for rich people only

  47. Ecosse_Maidy 47

    Hey..who said i couldn’t multi task…..look a evil smile and using my fingers at same time..

    In your face critics!!!!

  48. Ecosse_Maidy 48

    I compromised!!!!!!……..My face is just all over the reverse!

  49. Ecosse_Maidy 49

    Right come on cabinet…its gonna take more than this for the hair transplant……..dig deeper!

  50. Ecosse_Maidy 50

    Hey, fuckwits, look what i won at the sky city casino!

  51. Melanie Scott 51

    “Wow, this is what I got for the whole of New Zealand – pity it’s only funny money!”

  52. Vanessa King 52

    If you work really hardyou can earn one of these cleaning the toilets in Parliament

  53. sabine 53

    and it only cost ya 89 million and a bit of change to print that.

    suckers

  54. Ad 54

    The Prime Minister finally takes Colonial Viper’s advice (and just prints money)

  55. cogito 55

    Leading by ducksample.

  56. Enough 56

    It’s facilitation NOT compensation.

  57. cogito 57

    Key: “Look, no ponytails!”

  58. Gael 58

    And while you blind sheep out there are discussing the flag and the new pretty security tracking capable money we will be printing to prop up the economy in election year, parliament is in recess this week because…..

  59. Ron 59

    Money makes the world go round that clinking clanking sound.
    –Kander/Ebb

  60. cogito 60

    Key: “Yup, well aktchually I just wanted to show the Security Council that we’ve got a pretty big sheet of $10 notes so we can definitely contribute to the refugee crisis in Europe”.

  61. Drowsy M. Kram 61

    “They’re Telfon-coated, just like me.”

    One blue polly behind a money wall
    One blue polly hanging with McCaw
    And if this blue polly should accidently fall
    Thanks to Crosby/Textor spin he’ll soon be standing tall.

  62. NZJester 62

    The Prime Minister shows off the wanted poster of the next native species the under funded DOC is going to hire hunters to accidentally go shoot instead the ducks they are meant to hunt.

  63. Geraldine Radovanovich 63

    Looks like a duck, quacks like a duck. WTF.

  64. miravox 64

    Loose change

  65. risildowgtn 65

    Nu Zilland is sold..

    this is what i got for it

  66. Paul Campbell 66

    We were going to use them as sheets, but we’re going to wait for the 100s

  67. fender 67

    Me, MY All Blacks and MY silver fern will be on the new $100 notes

  68. Dorothy Bulling 68

    Is this enough to buy the emperor his new clothes?

  69. fender 69

    Key combines his two obsessions: Derp face selfies and money.

  70. Chromophore 70

    John Key to media pack

    “Just relax, breath deeply and gaze at this picture for a minute or two and miraculously, you’ll spot the smiling face of God hovering above it.”

  71. kimu 71

    my new wallpaper has finally arrived. oh joy.

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Speech to the Property Council of New Zealand
    Kia ora koutou katoa   Is it a pleasure to be able to speak with you today, and to be able to answer some questions you may have. I would like to acknowledge the organisers of this event, the Property Council. The theme of this year’s conference is City Shapers. Together ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 hours ago
  • Additional MIQ for Christchurch
    An additional hotel will be added to our network of managed isolation and quarantine facilities, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “I have approved and Cabinet is in the final stages of signing off The Quality Hotel Elms in Christchurch as a new managed isolation facility,” Chris Hipkins said. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 hours ago
  • NZ COVID-19 response earns another major digital investment
    Minister for the Digital Economy and Communications Dr David Clark welcomes Amazon’s Web Services’ (AWS) decision to establish a Cloud Region on New Zealand shores, further boosting New Zealand’s growing digital sector, and providing a vote of confidence in the direction of New Zealand’s economic recovery. “Amazon is the second ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 hours ago
  • New Zealand invests in cutting edge cancer R&D
    Scaling up the manufacture of CAR T-cell cancer therapy for clinical trials Advancing New Zealand’s biomedical manufacturing capability Supporting future international scientific collaborations Transforming cancer care with targeted, affordable solutions Research, Science and Innovation Minister Hon Dr Megan Woods has announced that the fight against COVID-19 will not stop the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    8 hours ago
  • Expert group appointed to lead New Zealand’s future health system
    An outstanding group of people with extensive and wide-ranging governance and health experience have been appointed to lead the Māori Health Authority and Health New Zealand, Health Minister Andrew Little says. “This Government is building a truly national health system to provide consistent, high-quality health services right across the country. This ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    11 hours ago
  • Funding to help clean up contaminated sites
    The Government is supporting the clean-up of contaminated sites in Northland, Dunedin and Southland to reduce risk to people’s health and protect the environment. Environment Minister David Parker said the funding announced today, through the Contaminated Sites Remediation Fund, will help us turn previously hazardous sites into safe, usable public ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    14 hours ago
  • Predator Free apprenticeships open up new job opportunities
    The expansion of a predator free apprenticeship programme is an opportunity for more people to kick-start a conservation career, Conservation Minister Kiri Allan says. “The Predator Free Apprenticeship Programme is focused on increasing the number of skilled predator control operators in New Zealand through a two-year training programme. “The Trust ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Further NCEA support confirmed for Auckland students
    The number of Learning Recognition Credits for senior secondary school students will be increased for Auckland students, Education Minister Chris Hipkins confirmed today. This recognises the extended time these students will spend in Alert Levels 3 and 4. “It means students in Auckland will have a fair opportunity to attain ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Long-term pathway next step to better mental wellbeing for New Zealanders
    The Government is taking a new approach to support people who experience mental distress, Health Minister Andrew Little says. “Kia Manawanui Aotearoa – Long-term pathway to mental wellbeing (Kia Manawanui) is the first 10-year plan of its kind that targets the cause of mental distress and also sets out how ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Keeping our Police safe to keep our communities safe
    The Government is committed to keeping our frontline police officers safe, so they in turn can keep New Zealanders safe – with one of the largest investments in frontline safety announced by Police Minister Poto Williams at the Police College today.   The $45 million investment includes $15.496 million in ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Clean Vehicles Bill passes first checkpoint
    The Land Transport (Clean Vehicles) Amendment Bill will help New Zealand drive down transport emissions by cleaning up the light vehicle fleet, Transport Minister Michael Wood says. The Bill passed its first reading today and will establish the legislative framework for key parts of the Government’s Clean Car Package, including ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Funding boost supports ongoing Māori COVID-19 response
    The Government is responding to the need by whānau Māori and Māori Health providers to support their ongoing work responding to COVID-19 and to continue increasing rates of Māori vaccination, Associate Minister for Health (Māori Health), Peeni Henare and Minister for Māori Development Willie Jackson announced today.   This increased ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Significant increase to COVID-19 penalties
    Penalties for breaches of COVID-19 orders are set to significantly increase from early November 2021 to better reflect the seriousness of any behaviour that threatens New Zealand’s response to the virus, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “Throughout this Delta outbreak we’ve seen the overwhelming majority of people doing ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Counter-Terrorism Legislation Bill returns to Parliament
    The Counter-Terrorism Legislation Bill has returned to Parliament for its second reading in an important step towards giving enforcement agencies greater power to protect New Zealanders from terrorist activity. “The Bill addresses longstanding gaps in our counter terrorism legislation that seek to protect New Zealanders and make us safer,” Justice ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Joint Statement: New Zealand and Australian Trade Ministers
    Hon Damien O'Connor MP, New Zealand Minister for Trade and Export Growth, and Hon Dan Tehan MP, Australian Minister for Trade, Tourism and Investment, met virtually on Monday 20 September to advance trans-Tasman cooperation under the Australia-New Zealand Closer Economic Relations Trade Agreement (CER). CER is one of the most ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Prime Minister’s Post Cabinet Press Conference/COVID-19 Update opening statement
    ***Please check against delivery***   E te tī, e te tā, nau mai rā [To all, I bid you welcome]   As you will have seen earlier, today there are 22 new community cases to report; three of which are in Whakatiwai in the Hauraki area, and the remainder in ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Major milestones for Māori COVID-19 vaccine rollout as new campaign launches
    Whānau Ora and Associate Health (Māori Health) Minister Peeni Henare acknowledges two major milestones in the rollout of the COVID-19 vaccination programme for Māori. “I am very pleased to announce more than 50 percent of eligible Māori have received their first dose and 25 per cent are now fully vaccinated,” ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Government funding to fight infectious diseases
    $36 million for research into Covid-19 and other infectious diseases The investment will improve our readiness for future pandemics Research will focus on prevention, control, and management of infectious diseases The Government’s investing in a new Infectious Diseases Research Platform to boost Aotearoa New Zealand’s Covid-19 response and preparedness for ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Quarantine-free travel with Australia to remain suspended for a further 8 weeks
    Suspension to be reviewed again mid to late November Decision brought forward to enable access from Australia to first tranche of around 3000 rooms in MIQ Air New Zealand working at pace to put on more flights from Australia from October    The suspension of quarantine-free travel (QFT) with Australia has ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Extra support for Ethnic Communities to share vaccination information
    Extra support is being made available to Ethnic Communities to help them share COVID-19 vaccination information within their communities, Minister for Diversity, Inclusion and Ethnic Communities Priyanca Radhakrishnan said. “We know we need to get every eligible person in New Zealand vaccinated. A fund being launched today will allow for ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • School holidays remain unchanged for Auckland region
    School holidays in Auckland will continue to be held at the same time as the rest of the country, starting from Saturday, 2 October, Education Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “I’ve carefully considered advice on the implications of shifting the dates and concluded that on balance, maintaining the status quo ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Government continues crackdown on gangs and organised crime
    Operation Tauwhiro extended until March 2022 Since it was launched in February, Operation Tauwhiro has resulted in:   987 firearms seized $4.99 million in cash seized 865 people charged with a firearms-related offence Gangs and organised crime groups will continue to be relentlessly targeted with the extension of Police’s successful ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Speech to Body Positive 'HIV Treatments Update Seminar 2021'
    E ngā mana E ngā reo E ngā iwi Tēnā koutou katoa Ka huri ki ngā mana whenua o te rohe nei. Tēnā koutou. He mihi hoki ki a tatou kua tau mai nei I raro I te kaupapa o te rā. Nō reira tēnā koutou katoa Acknowledgements It’s a ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Power bill changes bring fairness to charges
    A key recommendation of an independent panel to make electricity charges fairer across all households will be put in place, the Energy and Resources Minister Megan Woods has announced. “Phasing out the regulations on ‘low-use’ electricity plans will create a fairer playing field for all New Zealanders and encourage a ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • NZ economy’s strong momentum will support rebound from Delta outbreak; COVID fund replenished
    The economy showed strong momentum in the period leading up to the recent Delta COVID-19 outbreak, which bodes well for a solid economic rebound, Grant Robertson said. GDP rose 2.8 percent in the June quarter, following on from a 1.4 percent increase in the previous March quarter. This was a ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Projects create benefits into the future
    Making a well-known lake swimmable and helping to halt the decline of the endangered hoiho/yellow-eyed penguins are among a suite of new projects being supported by the Government’s Jobs for Nature programme across the southern South Island, Conservation Minister Kiri Allan says. “It’s no secret that many of our most ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Opening statement for Whāriki Indigenous Small Business Roundtable
      Kei ngā tōpito e wha o te āo e rere ana te mihi maioha ki a koutou nō tawhiti, nō tata mai e tāpiri ana ki tēnei taumata kōrero mo te ao hokohoko arā mā ngā pākihi mo ngā iwi taketake Tēnā koutou, tēnā koutou katoa – Pai Mārire.  ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • New members appointed to Kāpuia
    The Government is adding four additional members to Kāpuia, the Ministerial Advisory Group on the Government’s Response to the Royal Commission of Inquiry into the terrorist attack on Christchurch mosques. “I’m looking forward to having Pamela MacNeill, Huia Bramley, Melani Anae and Katherine Dedo  join Kāpuia and contribute to this group’s ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Timeline confirmed for Emissions Reductions Plan
    Cabinet has agreed to begin consulting on the Emissions Reduction Plan in early October and require that the final plan be released by the end of May next year in line with the 2022 Budget, the Minister of Climate Change, James Shaw confirmed today. “Cabinet’s decision allows organisations and communities ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Pay parity pathway for early learning teachers confirmed
    Pay parity conditions and higher funding rates for education and care services will come into force on 1 January, 2022, Minister of Education Chris Hipkins confirmed today. The Government signalled this work in Budget 2021. “From 1 January, 2022, centres opting into the scheme will receive government funding and be ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Speech to the New Zealand Nurses Organisation Conference 2021
    Kia Ora tatau katoa.   Ka tuku mihi ki nga nēhi, He pou Hauora o Aotearoa, E ora ai tatou.   Whakatau mai  I runga i te kaupapa o te ra Te NZNO conference.   Tena koutou tena koutou Tena tatou katoa   Good morning, and thank you inviting me ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Government investment in farmer-led catchment groups sweeps past 150 mark
    171 catchment groups have now been invested in by the Government 31 catchment groups in the Lower North Island are receiving new support More than 5,000 farmers are focussed on restoring freshwater within a generation through involvement in catchment groups  Government investment in on-the-ground efforts by farmers to improve land ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Fight to protect kauri on track
    The Government is pitching in to help vital work to protect nationally significant kauri forests in Auckland, Minister of Conservation Kiri Allan says. “Ensuring the survival of these iconic trees for future generations means doing everything we can to prevent the potential spread of kauri dieback disease,” Kiri Allan said. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Joint statement of Mr Bernard Monk; Hon Andrew Little, Minister Responsible for Pike River Re-entry,...
    [Note: The Parties have agreed on terms to fully and finally settle the proceeding and will jointly issue the below statement.] At the heart of this litigation are the lives of the 29 men tragically lost at the Pike River mine on 19 November 2010 and to whom we pay ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • More financial support for businesses
    Today’s decision to keep Auckland in a higher COVID Alert Level triggers a third round of the Wage Subsidy Scheme which will open for applications at 9am this Friday. “The revenue test period for this payment will be the 14th to the 27th of September. A reminder that this is ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Aotearoa New Zealand provides further humanitarian support for Afghanistan
    Aotearoa New Zealand is providing a further $3 million in humanitarian assistance in Afghanistan, Foreign Minister Nanaia Mahuta announced today.  “There is significant humanitarian need in Afghanistan, with the crisis disproportionately affecting women and girls,” said Nanaia Mahuta. The UN has estimated that 80% of the quarter of a million ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Innovative te reo prediction tool announced in Te Wiki o Te Reo Māori
    A new Māori language prediction tool will play a key role in tracking our te reo Māori revitalisation efforts, Minister for Māori Development Willie Jackson announced today. He Ara Poutama mō te reo Māori (He Ara Poutama) can forecast the number of conversational and fluent speakers of te reo Māori ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Further Government support for people to access food and essential items
    The Government is responding to need for support in Auckland and has committed a further $10 million to help people access ongoing food and other essential items, Minister for Social Development Carmel Sepuloni announced today. This latest tranche is targeted at the Auckland region, helping providers and organisations to distribute ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Half a million Pfizer vaccines from Denmark
    The Government has secured an extra half a million doses of Pfizer COVID-19 vaccines from Denmark that will start arriving in New Zealand within days, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announced today. “This is the second and larger agreement the Government has entered into to purchase additional vaccines to meet the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Inland Revenue providing essential COVID support for businesses
    Inland Revenue is seeing increased demand for Resurgence Support Payments and other assistance schemes that it administers, but is processing applications quickly, Revenue Minister David Parker said today. David Parker said the Resurgence Support Payment, the Small Business Cashflow (loan) Scheme and the Wage Subsidy are available at the same ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago