Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 1:25 pm, October 25th, 2015 - 104 comments
Categories: caption contest - Tags:

John Key Brodie Retallick

104 comments on “Caption contest”

  1. Listen here now little fella.
    Let’s cut the crap now eh! Enough of the Neoliberal match play.

  2. mac1 2

    “I’ve come for the spare Number 7 jersey to wear for next Saturday?”

  3. ropata 3

    “OK guys forget what Shag tells you about team work and co-operation, that’s all socialist clap trap. It’s every man for himself out there. Then one of you can have all of the wealth and the rest can have a pittance. Sound good?”

  4. JanM 4

    Richie “You can put him down now, there’s a chap”

  5. ropata 5

    “Hey Mister when I grow up can I be big and strong like you?”

    “I am not sure that Hobbits ever grow up son”

  6. joe90 6

    I’ve never met a manlet….

  7. maui 7

    All was going well for Gulliver, until he met the leader of the Lilliputians.

  8. One Anonymous Bloke 8

    “Oi, Pinocchio! You seen a guy with some magic beans around here?”

  9. NZSage 9

    Sorry, what’s your name again little man? or…

    John Key is beLittled.

  10. NZSage 10

    Er hello Sam….I think I just **** my pants!

  11. katipo 11

    McCaw looks on happy to be benched.

  12. ropata 12

    Whitelock felt something brush against his hand. He peered down at a tiny figure. "I'm John Key!" squeaked a voice. pic.twitter.com/FFOiAHisOH— Toby Manhire (@toby_etc) October 25, 2015

  13. Mike Boon 13

    Help! Help! This giant is crushing my tiny man-hand

  14. alwyn 14

    Well that settles the limits on Key’s size.
    According to the photo he is bigger than McCaw and smaller than Whitelock.
    That camera lens must have been as warped as the one they used for the pledge card snap.

  15. mary_a 15

    Ha ha, look fellas, the creepy slimy stalking toad has turned up!

    Throw him back into the murky pond from where he came!

  16. r0b 16

    Figure 1: Feeding too many chickens can reduce your stature.

  17. Chooky 17

    “Well… [ limp flapping wrist]… honey what can I say to that ?!”

  18. b waghorn 18

    If you take a knight hood Sammy I’ll stop tweeting Richie I promise.

  19. ropata 19

    I think this was the one FJK was shooting for, prepare to cringe

    LOOK AT OUR GOOD KIWI BLOKES pic.twitter.com/VS1rITBksx— Di W (@di_f_w) October 25, 2015

    • Ffloyd 19.1

      Lol. Just about hear Richie saying “flipping heck, give him a beer and ignore him and he might go away!” Notice key is only one drinking.

  20. mary_a 21

    Definition of a pervert … let me see …

    Has a ponytail fetish
    Stalks rugby captains
    Enjoys being questioned about personal dirty little habits
    Loves to hang around rugby players’ change rooms

    Hmmm …. anyone come to mind?

  21. Gas Kranken 22

    Well Johnny Boy, now you’ve sent your first dick pic mate.

  22. Gerald 23

    It’s Richie’s little mate from the adverts!

  23. Ffloyd 24

    I hope John Oliver sees this photo. Who else has a Hobbit for a pm? What a dick. Bet he was in the sheds before the ab’s so he could bags the seat next to Richie before anyone else.

  24. Ben 25

    “Anybody want a peanut?”

  25. BLiP 26

    “Hi John. Look, would you mind please if we all took our showers first, this time?”

  26. Philj 27

    I promise I won’t pee in the shower. Pretty please….

  27. Anne 28

    Sorry. No quip. Just seen pic for first time. I’m flabbergasted. So the Key dick actually gatecrashed their changing room? I can’t believe its for real. How embarrassing. John Oliver is going to love this.

  28. Reddelusion 29

    Who gives a continental what John Oliver thinks ? Apart from left wing tragics

    He is the leader of the country wether you like it or not, why should he not congratulate the team on behalf of the country It looks like he presence is appreciated

    Again a clear demonstration of jk living rent free in many of your heads

    • Anne 29.1

      No-one gives a continental what you think oh ‘delusioned’ one. He maybe the leader (more fool the voters) but he ain’t no leader. He’s a philistine and I put you in the same bracket.

      Have some grammar lessons and learn how to spell and you too can be like us.

      • tinfoilhat 29.1.1

        … may be…

      • Reddelusion 29.1.2

        Oh I am devastated Ann by your put down I thank the lord every day that i am not part of your little collective, a life of bitterness glass half empty, , whinging and moaning is not for me, nor is an unhealthy fixation on one man that borders on psychotic

        Take labour day to reflect, it does not have to be that way

        • One Anonymous Bloke 29.1.2.1

          You spend most of your time here, whinging and whining about opinions that no-one actually holds.

          So there’s that.

        • ropata 29.1.2.2

          Instead of vomiting another fact-free rant, you should be thanking union activists for your day off today.

        • Smilin 29.1.2.3

          You cant help being self deluded in your own nest and think that you hold the upper ground thats until it falls under your feet
          Others know what it cost the workers of this nation to keep that Key pricks crimes paid in full
          Make no mistake Key is here to balance his books not ours
          And just like his mentor Douglas will live off this nation and return SFA except delusion like yours

    • ropata 29.2

      Do you think Labour should also get free election advertising throughout the rugby season? The problem is JK lives “rent-free” in the head of the average kiwi, enabled by fawning media and useful idiots like yourself.

      Sorry if we are puncturing your JK fantasy world.

    • Ffloyd 29.3

      Redetc. Cue violins.

  29. Chooky 30

    The SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE

    ‘After handshakes, we sniff people’s scent on our hand’

    https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn27070-after-handshakes-we-sniff-peoples-scent-on-our-hand/

  30. Mark Stevens 31

    “What a luxurious beard you have…”

  31. Ecosse_Maidy 32

    Keys gets introduced to PM McCaws body guard

  32. Ecosse_Maidy 33

    Look PM, I don’t fecking care…….i am off for a beer……i don’t care about fern flag or hobbit on a flag..PO

  33. Ecosse_Maidy 34

    Ok you fucker I have been writing to you for ages about the lack of apprenticeships, zero hr contracts, the housing crisis and global warming.

    Yet u dint reply…

    NJow you will step outside with me!

  34. Ecosse_Maidy 35

    McCaw, other teams get groupies and we are stuck with this idiot……..

    this cannot continue!

  35. Ecosse_Maidy 36

    This is your last warning, you show up here next weekend…..and I will make you wish you’re in opposition!

  36. Ecosse_Maidy 37

    Christ! Paula!
    What happened? New Treatment went wrong again?

  37. Ecosse_Maidy 38

    Oh please please, pretty please,,,,,Next week can i lead the haka!?

  38. Ecosse_Maidy 39

    I have seen your photographs in the papers……yet who the feck are you again?

  39. Ecosse_Maidy 40

    Hi My name is Keys, John Keys, I have this idea i am foisting, I mean giving the nation a choice on, would you like to be the flagpole?

  40. Ecosse_Maidy 41

    McCaw: Its ok Fellas, he keeps following me around, don’t worry, after a bit he disappears up his own arse..or buggers off to play golf…

  41. Ecosse_Maidy 42

    I haven’t got my contacts in..yet if your the the fourth official who put me in the bin..you are so dead

  42. Ecosse_Maidy 43

    Christ, I wouldn’t have believed till I saw you PM,,,,,,You make Trumps hair, look real…you slap head!

  43. Ecosse_Maidy 44

    Ok, we unlucky five have to shake hands with you….whilst the rest of the team is with your wife,,,,,the sacrifices we make Richie!

  44. Ecosse_Maidy 45

    MCaw..Really fellas, You have no idea……..your complaining that he is here now,,back home he follows me around….. the month before last he was sleeping in my dustbin

  45. Ecosse_Maidy 46

    McCaw..Really fellas, You have no idea……..you’re complaining that he is here now,,back home he follows me around….. the month before last he was sleeping in my dustbin

  46. Ecosse_Maidy 47

    You come in here, and call yourself an All Black with that white shirt?! Right I am gonna break yr pulse for that….

    Who’s is this again Richie?

  47. Ecosse_Maidy 48

    Ok Fellas……bad news…..we are gonna loose next week…..good news,,,,,,,he wont be here!

    yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

  48. Ecosse_Maidy 49

    No I wont caddy for you!!!

  49. Ecosse_Maidy 50

    Ok Fellas, look at this way……..i know its hard having him around..yet whilst he’s here he ain’t doing any damage at home!

  50. Ecosse_Maidy 51

    And what exactly is in the TPPA for me prime minister?

  51. Ecosse_Maidy 52

    Nonu: That’s it,,,,,,,i have listened to his BS, shaken his hand for his PR selfies,,,,,,,yet FFS,,,,,,,he just let rip an awful little fart,,that’s so disgusting I am out of here

  52. Ecosse_Maidy 53

    Christ PM…..you look even smaller in real life.

  53. Ecosse_Maidy 54

    Oh Fellas, not again,,,You cant leave me alone with him………..no,,pleaseeee…..the rest of you come back, Please……….

    all he does is talk about golf and politics

  54. Ecosse_Maidy 55

    No PM, I am not joking,,,,if you ever touch my daughters ponytail….I will detach this arm i am holding..got it?

    good!

  55. Ecosse_Maidy 56

    MCaw…No, Dan,,don;t break out the beers,,,,,,otherwise will never get rid of the fecking klingon

  56. Ecosse_Maidy 57

    You haven’t heard the worst of it ….we are all invited to his holiday home in Hawaii………………………………..where are you all going?????
    Don’t leave me alone with him!!!!!

  57. Ecosse_Maidy 58

    No Pm, when I get done by the law I have to pay the penalty of spending 10 mins in the bin..

    When you break our laws,,,,,,,nothing happens.

  58. Ecosse_Maidy 59

    Yes PM…..Yet you do know what they say about the size of a blokes shoes and other parts of his body..so that makes you even more insignificant

  59. Ecosse_Maidy 60

    No,,,,,Please let me get this for myself…….You’re the 4th official? No, ermmmm the president of South Africa? no, ermmmmmmmm the head of the organizing committee? no?

    Ok i give up, who are you?

  60. Incognito 61

    Pleased to meet you Mr Pee M, you’re quite a wee man. I heard you’re a water boy.

  61. Morrissey 62

    “Fuck off Key. What the hell are you doing in our changing rooms? And one more thing: if you come NEAR my little girl I’ll rip your smug head off.”

  62. savenz 63

    Just tweet Go Nats on Election day, you will be rewarded!

    Don’t worry about any negative consequences, the Nats will ensure you just get a slap on the hand with a wet bus ticket (if that).

  63. JAG 64

    Here Richie, I got you this John Key action figure. It does fuck all and I would’nt put it anywhere near your moneybox or Barbie, it can pull a ponytail with one hand and feed the chickens with the other.

  64. mikesh 65

    Generally I’m in favour of photo-ops but, hey, this is embarassing.

  65. Treetop 66

    Jack (Key) to the giant, “just give me the golden goose (rugby cup) and I’m off.”

    • b waghorn 67.1

      Keys probably pissed cairns got caught ,he would of made a great national mp.

    • Smilin 67.2

      Yes clears the throat when you try to laugh knowing if Key will have CT trying to spin an advantage out of Cairns. Just how gullible does he think we are.

  66. Treetop 68

    Wouldn’t it be great if it was boxing for charity!

  67. ropata 69

    @bryce_edwards In a hole in the ground there lived a Hobbit… pic.twitter.com/gcgGseLmBl— Andy Baird (@andy_engineer) October 25, 2015

  68. All Blacks drug rested after being seen with JunKey.

  69. Stuart Munro 71

    Bruce, John, John this is Bruce. Bruce would like you to explain about how you glommed his dad’s money through Equiticorp.

  70. Tel 72

    Forget smile and wave, meet microwave.

  71. Rawsharkosaurus 73

    “Fee, fi, fo, fum. I smell the blood of a charlatan.”

  72. Smilin 74

    “Yes Mr Whitelock I will remember to shake hands properly and leave ponytails alone, just dont break my hand”
    Keiran :Jez Sam give him a break
    Richie :You can let him go now Sam

  73. Atiawa 75

    ” Oh, the Prime Minister, geez Ritchie I thought he was one of the ball boys”

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