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Chris Carter you dick

Written By: - Date published: 11:20 pm, October 22nd, 2009 - 62 comments
Categories: scoundrels - Tags:

I’m not sure if my fellow writers would put it like this. But I’m sure they agree with my sentiment when I say-

Chris Carter you utter tool. Shut the hell up and go away.

Here’s a list of your achievements in the last four months:

  • extended the story of your travel expenses with the “it’s because I’m gay” comments.
  • extended the questions over why you went to Samoa other than to be a disaster tourist by implying that Winne Laban accompanied you to Samoa, not the other way around as was in fact the case.
  • re-igniting the questions over your travel claims (that frankly do look like you’ve been creaming it) by bringing the issue up again on Wednesday. Which got Eddie’s Breakfast-gate story pushed off TV3 that night. Thanks.
  • writing a post on Red Alert comparing John Key to Mussolini, which someone else clearly had the brains to pull within minutes.

I can’t believe you are this f*ucken stupid. Key is not like Mussolini. Plain and bloody simple. Only an idiot would make such a distasteful comparison. Even if that idiot believed it were true, and he would have to be a complete idiot to do so, it’s obviously incredibly dumb politics. Now it’s all over the rightwing blogs. Soon it will be in the mainstream media.

You moron. This is now the fourth time you’ve seriously hurt Labour and the Left in four months. The first three were vainglorious and ill-judged attempts to protect your ego from attacks. The latest was sheer, crap for brains lunacy.

It’s like we’re trying to fight a battle and you keep spraying bullets in your comrades’ backs. The best thing you could do now is shut the hell up and let the rest of us get on with it.

[The Right can get off their high horses too. A lot of you (Brash for example) donated to Farrar’s billboards that compared Clark to Mugabe, Kim Jong Il, and Bainimarama. Saw a few Clark = Hitler signs too.]

62 comments on “Chris Carter you dick ”

  1. Marty G 1

    what was that saying on that old show? oh yeah – “Gee, you hit her pretty hard there Rick”

    but you’re completely right, what a fool. And, as you know zet (or.. are meant to know), when we write something that we feel might cross a line, we ask someone else to have a look.

    Why didn’t he ask another MP to have a look first? Didn’t he get that little feeling in the pit of his stomach that this might be the wrong thing to say? You would think it would be common sense. Maybe he doesn’t have any.

  2. gingercrush 2

    Yes not the brightest thing to do. The whole comparing of anyone to Hitler, Mussolini or others really is absurd. Labour and the left need to stop personally attacking John Key anyway. It’s not working for them and you look petty doing it.

    I’m not sure whether this will get into the media or not. But when you have two ministers of a far-right party under attack by the left, labour and the media. You should ensure the focus is on them. At the same time you have National officially stating that they’re basically opening up ACC. Those are the issues. Don’t end up making other issues get into the media. Especially something that is easy for the media to report and is done so by a person who has already made enough news for the year.

    • Armchair Critic 2.1

      It must be late, because for the first time ever I find myself agreeing with pretty much every word you’ve said in a comment, ginger. Except maybe the bit about not attacking JK.

    • Marty G 2.2

      and that’s right, ginger, this was just a petty personal attack.

      Go after the man’s politics or his antics but what legitimate attack was there in Carter’s post? None.

    • Draco T Bastard 2.3

      The whole comparing of anyone to Hitler, Mussolini or others really is absurd.

      Is it absurd if it’s true?

  3. Zetetic 3

    Bang on gingercrush.

    The idiot’s timing could hardly have been worse.

    except when he gave english breathing space when he was on the ropes.

    and when he sullied the tsunami.

    this is exactly the stuff the media loves. now they get to go ‘oh, how shocking’ rather than talk about acc

  4. SHG 4

    [The Right can get off their high horses too. A lot of you (Brash for example) donated to Farrar’s billboards that compared Clark to Mugabe, Kim Jong Il, and Bainimarama. Saw a few Clark = Hitler signs too.]

    This was a Member of Parliament publicly comparing the Prime Minister with a fascist dictator who was hanged for his crimes, and using the official website of the Labour Party to do it.

    [deleted – don’t get personal — r0b]

    • SHG 4.1

      Just pretend that I called him an utter tool and a moron, and expressed disbelief at his f*cken stupidity and crap-for-brains lunacy. Hell, I wouldn’t want to get PERSONAL.

      • r0b 4.1.1

        So SHG – do you feel the same way about National Party funded billboards comparing Clark to Mugabe, Kim Jong Il, and Bainimarama?

        If not, why not?

        • SHG

          No, I don’t. Because none of those billboards were erected by Members of Parliament and none of them were published by the National Party.

          I could go even further and observe that the Coalition for Free Speech’s billboards were piss-takes to make a point. They were humorous. They were in IMPACT for cliff’s sake.

          Compare that with

          Just saw the most awful sight.

          John Key was posing outside on the 9th Floor Beehive balcony for a photo op.

          He looked just like Mussolini at the Piazzo Navona.

          Look, Chris, I know you’re gay and all, but do you have to be such a bitch?

          Talk about your snobby similes. “What, you don’t know the Piazzo Navona? Oh, you horrible little uncouth prole, what is this Party coming to?”

          Chris, if you’re going to publish a personal attack on the character of the Prime Minister – hell, what a winner that tactic has been, right? – at least use a reference that Waitakere Man will get.

          • IrishBill

            I seem to recall Bill English comparing Clark to Mugabe in the house.

            • crass

              English was out of order Emperor Palpatine – certainly not Mugabe.

            • r0b

              Good memory IB:

              Bill English: This is straight out of Zimbabwe. In fact, if members read the rules of the former Soviet Union about election campaigning, they will see that those rules were less restrictive than these ones.

              John Carter: Mugabe wrote them.

              Bill English: Mugabe would be proud of this. He cuts out the middle man; he just locks them up.

          • r0b

            No, I don’t.

            What a surprise.

            No, I don’t. Because none of those billboards were erected by Members of Parliament and none of them were published by the National Party.

            Just funded by National Members of Parliament and published by members of the National Party. The do like to do their dirty work via sock puppets. So that’s all right then. Glad you’re happy with that.

            • SHG

              It’s true. What I meant to say is, this is different because Carter is gay.

              Did I mention that Carter is gay? If I didn’t, don’t worry… Carter will remind us any second now. And again shortly after that. And again shortly after that.

  5. Ag 5

    Silly comparison. Mussolini was competent and charismatic.

  6. Doug 6

    And this comes from a Former Secondary school teacher.

  7. gitmo 7

    Oh dear the chain emails are starting already.

    From my inbox this morning……

    1. What is Carter doing in NZ, isn’t there a peace and harmony conference somewhere for him to fly to ?
    2. What was Chris Cash Carter doing in the beehive? Baggage handlers strike?
    3. They couldn’t find anything on John Key after that infamous trip to Australia during the election. Now labour is getting more desperate.
    4. Perhaps Carter’s office is so far away he couldn’t actually hear Key correctly: “It Worked” might in fact have been “Fuck Off”. They are very similar at a distance.
    5. Maybe CC should go to the cennotaph and apologise like the AGS boys.
    6.First it’s Minto comparing Bush to Hitler, and now Carter comparing Key to Mussolini. People do notice Helen’s similarity to Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars, but they’re usually too polite to mention it.
    7.I reject Carter’s comparison of John Key to Mussolini as a really popular leader who allied himself with a racist party and thereby destroyed his country- but I never thought that Carter would just come out and equate Dr Sharples to Hitler.
    8. You guys are just attacking Carter because he is gay
    9.Shameful! Despicable! What was he thinking? What he should have done is put up huge billboards comparing the PM to Mugabe

    • felix 7.1

      Half of items in your inbox are kiwiblog comments. You should be more careful who you share your address with.

  8. Carter should be careful. The news is that the nats are grooming Michael Jones as a possible contender for the Te Atatu seat at the next election. If he was to run Chris could be under some pressure. Jones would be far more formidable than Tau Henare as an opponent.

    • gitmo 8.1

      “Carter should be careful. The news is that the nats are grooming Michael Jones as a possible contender for the Te Atatu seat at the next election”

      FFS unwitting comedy Gold !!

  9. DavidW 9

    And this the same week as the Auckland Grammar hysteria and beatup. How stupid/blind/disconnected can one person get.

    He must have been hitting the last of his duty free stash and starting to hallucinate.

    Has someone hit the “self-destruct” button on starship Labour?

    • DavidW

      After what has happened in the last few weeks with ACC, Science Education, ETS, RWC and a number of other areas with confidence I can say that Nick Smith tripped up over Anne Tolley and Murray McCully and has pressed the aforesaid self destruct button on Starship National Inc.

      Carter’s misdemeanor is minute in comparison.

      • Inventory2 9.1.1

        If that’s the case micky (and I don’t accept for a moment that it is), why is the main talking point of the day Chris Carter’s serial stupidity?

      • gitmo 9.1.2

        Really, all I can say with confidence is that whomever is the major party in power or opposition they’re packed to the brim with buffoons.

        • Chris

          Indeed. Doesn’t matter what kind of party – always buffoons in them.

          Mind – the right tend to have more buffoons than the left – I suspect it’s the left’s fondness of argument that weeds buffoons out from that side of the fence. The right tends to engage in soliloquacity and general shallowness of thought that attracts buffoons in greater numbers.

      • DavidW 9.1.3

        But I’d bet a dollar to a donut that there will be a BBQ somewhere (perhaps at Phil’s place in the country) with lamb chops and chardonnay to discuss the person’s future.
        It may be awkward to deal with him though because he will inevitably pull out the “you’re picking on me because I am homosexual” card.
        Perhaps a quiet word with John Key or Helen might get him a posting to PyongYang – out of sight and all that.

  10. Herodotus 10

    C.Carter has to now be made an example of by P.Goff . I have little time for Chris’s antics and his very poor decision making processes.
    As stated before there are many issues that at least need vigorous debate over. This is not happening why?
    Idiots like Chris taking there 10 minutes of fame take away the medias 5 minutes of scant attention and the publics 2 minutes of uptake of the issues. In a few weeks time if anyone will remember, what will it be Carter, Smith, Coleman. I think Carter will stay in the mind longer than the others, now that is something to be affraid of
    I still believe that Chris is surplus to all factions of labour and he is being given the leash to hang himself. As why was this allowed to be put forward on the net, or do contributors not have a review system before the comments go live. Summitters get reviewed & censored(As I & many others have experienced by T.Mallard)

    • snoozer 10.1

      I wouldn’t think there’s any review system before posts go up. The fact that this one went up and then was pulled indicates that.

      [lprent: From what I understand that is correct for Red Alert.

      Having reviews of posts (ie running through a editorial process) is just too damn tedious for what is a multi-author blog. It destroys the spontaneity of the blog site, causes a editorial conformance of opinion, and it generally a bad idea for a multi-author blog. You have to trust the authors not to do something daft. All the other authors jump on them for daft posts in the e-mails and comments sections – it tends to reflect on their posts.

      That isn’t too pleasant for the recipient. Here, authors tend to leave posts scheduled for at least a couple of hours if they think other authors might have issues with the content. Then there is time for some discussion. Happens a handful of times per year.

      A difference of opinion (rather than daftness) is usually handled by other authors putting up posts with their own viewpoint – that happens all of the time. Including between two different posts on this topic today.

      Tends to work well.]

      • Armchair Critic 10.1.1

        I expect there will be a review system put in place soon, it makes sense that they would have one. Hopefully this will turn out to be a close call, rather than a full-on disaster.
        On a vaguely related subject (and apart from the obvious), what is wrong with ACT’s blog? Is it just difficult to use, or do they just not publish comments they don’t like, and refuse to engage with commenters?

  11. Key is not like Mussolini. Plain and bloody simple. Only an idiot would make such a distasteful comparison. … You moron. This is now the fourth time you’ve seriously hurt Labour and the Left in four months.

    1. This will not “seriously hurt Labour and the Left”.
    2. This is now what constitutes a scandal?

    Carter thought a pose Key was adopting was similar to a famous pose of Mussolini’s. He mentioned this to Key, who himself made the comparison not with a pose, but the man himself with Mussolini.

    Carter then shares Key’s joke with everyone.

    The right need to get over it, and the left need to get over it. This is almost as big a scandal as Damien O’Connor playing rugby.

    Who cares?

    • snoozer 11.1

      the point is that Carter’s pointing a loaded gun at his party and inviting the Right to pull the trigger. It’s just stupid politics, comparing a popular PM to a symbol of evil. You understand that, don’t you?

    • ak 11.2

      Abso-boloming-lutely Graeme: compare this single flippant remark out a window with the massive documented and broadcast volumes of downright vicious and evil abuse directed at Hels via talkback and right-wing sewer blogs over the last few years – including pasting her head onto porno and leaving up comments advocating assassination.
      The sheer gall of righties’ faux-righteousness never fails to amaze – even the Keyster accepted the spirit of the quip, (though his “well it worked” gives worrying credence to the notion that “whatever it takes” is still the sole guiding principle off the starboard bow of SS Godzone – then again, maybe that’s a comfort)

    • Craig Ranapia 11.3


      You obviously dont’t, and I’m more bemused that offended, but it’s a rather distasteful insight into the thought processes of someone who really should know better.

      • ak 11.3.1

        (Sheebus wept Craig….are we now poring with angst over the “thought process” behind every goonish jape tossed out a window….talk about nanny state-of-mind,,,,reality calls, time for a snifter I feel..)

        • Craig Ranapia


          Ah yes — “it’s just a joke, so move on.” I question the thought processes of folks who can’t mention Chris Carter without some gratuitous fag-baiting (I don’t think “poo-pusher” is a term of endearment, do you); and you can set your watch by how quickly “get a sense of humour” get fired back when you call the idiots out on it..

          • Craig Ranapia

            Meanwhile, if an MP is going to be posting on a blog that’s supposed to be a shop window for his cactus engaging in serious and civil political discourse, Chris chose a damn strange way to go about it.

          • ak

            Ah, I see. By the thought processes of someone who really should know better. you’re referring to our homophobic brethren. Fair enough, but lucky burt’s not here – looks awfully like a retrospective validation from here….(and “cactus”? is that code for a bunch of tiny pricks?)

  12. DavidW 12

    Aw Graeme, logic is not nearly as much fun.

  13. dave 13

    David W, Well that explains some of Labours decision-making process then. But in addition, Labor needs to have more fun as well….

  14. Herodotus 14

    Perhaps this was managed to reinvigorate the Red Alert Site. As I think that this is being mis managed. There is little REAL discussion (It is over censored & regulated) and does in many cases little more than navel gaze.
    That is why I think there is a greater quality of contributors here and more balanced discussion, that there is a desire to great things back on track from the left.

  15. deWithiel 15

    Actually, on the basis of accuracy alone, Carter was wrong to state that Donkey looked ‘like Mussolini at the Piazzo Navona’. Mussolini never gave speeches at the Piazza Navona; they were usually delivered 800 m away from the balcony of the Palazzo Venezia, overlooking the Piazza Venezia. Perhaps it was this error of fact that caused the blog entry to be removed. After all, Mallard was a schoolmaster too and such howlers are anathema to the teaching profession.

  16. side show bob 16

    Well done CC, brilliant work and keep it up, we love u.

    Hugs and kisses


  17. Jasper 17

    Carter needs to go. Unfortunately, Labour can’t get rid of him until after 2011. If we do so now, it’ll be another by election at Labour cost. Can’t have that!

    Carter is a joke, a relic, an embarassment.

    The man is a fucking tool and many in the community don’t bother inviting him along to any events any more as he makes it all about him.

    I trust Goff will have the balls to take all of Carters portfolios off of him, and give him something totally inconsequential. Perhaps spokesperson for womens affairs?

  18. NeillR 18

    I’m stunned that you’re having a go. Carter in parliament is just the kind of welfare that the Left thrive on. I mean, it’s not like he could get a job in the real world.

  19. Ratbiter 19

    “writing a post on Red Alert comparing John Key to Mussolini, which someone else clearly had the brains to pull within minutes.”


    NO NO NO!!!

    The Mussolini thing was FUNNY. Do you understand humour? We like it on planet earth.
    Taking it down was foolish – it has simply created the appearance that this was something to be embarrassed about, and given the kiwiblog right some meat to slather about.

    This leftie has serious concerns about Labour in general; if there is no-one on board with the wherewithall to even stand up for a joke post like this then how the hell do we expect to ever win an election?

  20. coge 20

    Hate to say this, but this would never have happened under Clark. For an opposition to get credibility, they need to exercise discipline, maintain a united front & hold the moral high ground. What Carter has done here, (& other senior Labour MP’s) is simply a continuation of last years dirty tricks tactics. Hence the polling has followed the downtrend of the last three years.

    • gitmo 20.1

      Dunno about that Helen signed off on the Melbourne fiasco, but I agree she (or H2) certainly exercised far greater discipline over the caucus.

      • Herodotus 20.1.1

        You mean H1 or H2 protected underperforming ministers & MP’s. That is the impression I could get from this statement. So if I follow that train of thought we get crap politicians for the price of 2-3 teachers/police or 5 nurses?

        • gitmo

          So if I follow that train of thought we get crap politicians for the price of 2-3 teachers/police or 5 nurses?

          I can see why you might think that but I couldn’t possibly comment.

  21. Zaphod Beeblebrox 21

    He made a joke about his expression and body posture whilst being photographed. That’s all. This just shows how little some people want to get into policy and ideas.

    • Herodotus 21.1

      It is not the message, I imagine that there are over 50% of the Caucus who could have made that comment and everyone would have had a chuckle over it (Trevor included). It is a bit like telling a marginal joke at work some can get away with it, others get reprimarnded. Chris Carter is one whos political capital has expired as evident by this wee storm out of nothing.

  22. graham 22

    as a tory troll i will agree with you about red alert. at least here you may abuse me but you dont ban me red alerts a joke anyone who disagrees with trev is banned.
    one post he did about jhon keys advisors being too scared to tell him bad news i mean come on as if anyone in labour had the balls to stand up to helen. i got banned for saying”i am sure you told helen when she said or did the wrong thing trev” how weak is mallard talks tough throws abuse but cant take it

  23. graham 23

    as for old chris it was a stupid joke but by taking it off red alert it makes it look bad
    as a tory i am sure john has heard worse

  24. Trader Jack 24

    It was pretty stupid of Carter to call Key Mussolini when everyone knows it’s Hide who’s the reincarnation of Mussolini.

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