Written By: - Date published: 3:14 pm, January 29th, 2019 - 48 comments
Categories: capitalism, class war, climate change, Conservation, disaster, Environment, Mining, science - Tags: idiots, satire, west coast regional council
SUBMISSION: Zero Carbon Bill
In my submission on the Zero Carbon Bill (ZCB), which I believe appears to be well-intentioned, I’m going to focus on fairness and justice for a largely remote region dependent on mining, farming and forestry.
That region is, of course, New Zealand.
To ask the people of New Zealand to keep subsidising the West Coast the evidence proving intelligent life in the West Coast Regional Council must be presented, and proven beyond reasonable doubt.
Implementing the Zero Carbon Bill is likely to result in substantial costs to New Zealand, as well as changes to the growing industry of tourism. If we are going to ask tourists, even rowdy ones, to turn right once they leave the ferry at Picton, we are going to have to convince them that there is a chance of bumping into sentient human beings.
I’ve checked with the West Coast Regional Council and they have been unable to offer any proof that anybody representing them has half a brain.
Sadly, the discovery that there is apparently little or no intelligent life in the council building in Paroa will also have impacts on day-to-day life for communities living in that remote, rural region.
If they exist, that is.
The scientific jury is still out on whether the region is real and it could be that the whole West Coast is a giant hoax perpetrated by the Illuminati.
West Coast man wins farting competition against local cows.
My submission is that no further tax dollars should go to the West Coast to prevent flooding in Greymouth, forest flattening storms in Haast and sea front erosion in Granity until there is a scientific consensus that the West Coast Regional Council actually exists and, if it does, that there are homo sapiens to be found there who have progressed beyond eating lumps of coal and grunting about Donald Trump.
(Hat tip to David Tong @Davidxvx)