Doofus of the week – May 27, 2018

Written By: - Date published: 8:54 am, May 27th, 2018 - 28 comments
Categories: doofus of the week, Gerry Brownlee, Judith Collins, national, paula bennett, same old national, Simon Bridges, the praiseworthy and the pitiful, uncategorized, you couldn't make this shit up - Tags:

There was some heavyweight competition this week.

In the United Kingdom Katie Hopkins became upset because a Daily Mirror article had the headline “Katie Hopkins banned from leaving South Africa after taking ketamine”.  She had taken ketamine, although apparently for medical reasons and she was banned from leaving South Africa.  So although in terms of sequencing the headline was correct the drug was not causative of the banning.

Instead she had her passport confiscated for a brief time for spreading racial hatred.

There are only two possible reasons for her complaint.

Either she thinks that being accused of spreading racial hatred is not as bad as being accused of taking recreational drugs, or even worse she was proud of being accused of spreading racial hatred.

The Daily Mirror responded in the most cutting way, posting the retraction to end all retractions.

The complaint was upheld but no damages were ordered because of the posting of the retraction.

Locally there was Judith Collins releasing bizarrely minor allegations against Phil Twyford on successive days.  But at least unlike her leader she was generating media attention so she was excluded from consideration.

There was Simon Bridges on his national tour meeting lots of ordinary kiwis like in this photo.

Looks more like Siberia to me than provincial New Zealand.  Maybe Judith had a hand in designing his itinerary.

The finalists were Gerry Brownlee and Paula Bennett for as insipid a parliamentary attack on speaker Trevor Mallard as you can imagine.

Believe me Trevor Mallard is not on my christmas card list.  But I thought he handled the situation adroitly and showed Brownlee and Bennett to be chumps.  It was hard to choose between them.

Bennett was a candidate for throwing her toys out of the cot for having a question taken off her and for carrying on her grievance the next day.  But she did use an unparliamentary comment which standing orders prohibits.  So what did she expect?  She did not misspeak.  She was reading from her notes at the moment that she said “bribe”.  This was planned as a test of Mallard.

And Gerry Brownlee was also a candidate for letting rip with some comment aimed at Mallard after Paula’s question was taken off her.  It is not recorded in Hansard and I cannot make it out from the video but clearly it annoyed Mallard.  And Brownlee then wrote a limp letter to Mallard giving him a 2 pm deadline to grovel and seek forgiveness.  Mallard showed contempt to the letter by not even replying.

Then there were those petulant instances of disobedience in the House.  They reminded me more of juvenile bad behaviour in a school class, not the country’s top institution trying to run our country.

The really stupid thing is that it all looks so choreographed.

Here is film of Bennett and Brownlee planning it.

National wanted to escalate the fight with Mallard and they must have discussed doing something dramatic like staging a mass walk out.

At least if we believe Bennett this was the case.

But Gerry refused to accept that any planning occurred.

On Friday he said:

We never considered walking out en masse.  That is just bad reporting.”

This is the first thing he said in this interview.  There is no way to reconcile his statement with Bennett’s tweet.  Talking about walking out en masse and deciding against it and not considering walking out en masse are mutually exclusive concepts.

And he took the chance to repeat “stupid little girl” twice.

It was a line call who to award this week’s Doofus to.  But Gerry Brownlee, for contradicting your Deputy Leader and for saying what looks like a rather big porky pie you are this week’s doofus.

Note to National.  Please keep your strategic geniuses in their current role.  They are doing great for the country.

And note to the Greens.  Now would be a good time to get your questions back.  Currently they are being wasted.

28 comments on “Doofus of the week – May 27, 2018 ”

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  1. dv 1
    27 May 2018 at 9:15 am

    If I was in Northcote would I want to vote for such a group of doofii?

    And how does this sort of idiocy hold the Govt to account?
    Questions for the house can’t be asked if you are not in the house can they?

    • AB 1.1
      28 May 2018 at 12:17 pm

      If you were in Northcote you would already be one of the doofii and oblivious to your own doofusness. You would be doofusing you way through the day.
      That means a narrow win to Bidois

  2. One Anonymous Bloke 2
    27 May 2018 at 9:16 am

    I thought Simon ‘speak English or die’ Clark was a better candidate.

    PS: has he been identified on social media yet?

  3. bwaghorn 3
    27 May 2018 at 9:22 am

    Oh come on stop being so one eyed twyford wins hands down. It’s as bad as a cop being caught drunk driving .

  4. Gabby 4
    27 May 2018 at 9:38 am

    It’s not even as bad as a cop being caught on his phone driving waggy.

  5. Ankerawshark 5
    27 May 2018 at 10:15 am

    For what it’s worth bwagon. Most people on an on-line poll didn’t think what Twyford did was bad.

    Desperate times for the Torres. Playing up in question time (they did say after the election they weren’t there to help parliament run smoothly) and rather insignificant deeds from Twyford are really scrapping the barrel.

    A must read from open mike yesterday was the secret diary of Paula Bennett. Utterly priceless

  6. Graeme 6
    27 May 2018 at 11:22 am

    Well it’s certainly a spectacular performance when you get HDPA calling you a “National Embarrassment” Mainly aimed at the sexist put down, and the repeating of it , but unequivocally calling out the whole fiasco.

    https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=12058350

    Sorry for linking to HDPA, but I think she’s redeemed her self wiht this piece, and might be returning to the sort of work she did before she came a gutsa trying to take down Gun City. There was a change at that point.

  7. Darien Fenton 7
    27 May 2018 at 11:30 am

    It was orchestrated. Have no doubt about it. Its called disruption or filibustering. It’s designed to slow the house down ; not during question time in particular, but for legislation that follows after the one hour spent. I could comment about the Mr Speakers Smith and Carter, but I won’t except to say that every opposition since time began has had differences with the Speaker. Its a wrestle in the mud. Expect more of it as National struggles to get the headlines. Lets not give them more oxygen.

  8. fender 8
    27 May 2018 at 11:39 am

    That photo of Bridges is just weird. What’s he doing? Is he saying “crucify me”, “I’m being crucified”, “Puckish Rogue wants a leader with a rear end this wide, and an ego to match”

  9. Chris T 9
    27 May 2018 at 11:47 am

    I’ve always thought the speaker role should be chosen by an independent agency with independent candidates.

    And no, not just this year, thought the last one was almost as bad as Mallard

    • Stuart Munro 9.1
      27 May 2018 at 2:29 pm

      You’re dreaming.

      Carter was infinitely worse, protecting liars like Key and lame ministers like Nick Smith. There’s nothing substantive to Bennet & Brownlee’s hassle with Trevor – they’re making noise they figure they can spin their way in the media – pretty irrelevant really.

      • Chris T 9.1.1
        27 May 2018 at 3:40 pm

        If you think Carter was worse that is cool. It’s just personal perception

        Which is kind of my point. If the role was independent it wouldn’t be.

        Shame you instantly went to jumping to the defence of Mallard rather than actually addressing my point though.

        No argument against it?

        • Stuart Munro 9.1.1.1
          27 May 2018 at 5:25 pm

          You really don’t have a clue, do you?

          This wretched opposition can get real questions answered on the vanishingly rare occasions the morons actually scrape together enough nouse to ask any.

          This was never true of Carter. It’s not about defending Mallard, it’s about your gross misrepresentation of the worst speaker New Zealand has ever had.

          You’re just a little partisan muppet with nfi whatsoever you’re talking about.

          It’s not personal perception – it was failure, gross and deliberate failure to meet the standards outlined in the cabinet manual. Mallard does meet those, which is the job, moron. Not pandering to the histrionics of an opposition who never had their shit together on their best day.

          Shame you couldn’t find an argument with both hands and a braille map.

          • Chris T 9.1.1.1.1
            27 May 2018 at 5:46 pm

            Moron?

            Lol

            As much as I find your personal attacks against me over an idea that even ex Labour PM Palmer agrees with me on, pretty odd, you might want to take a chill pill.

            Why so bitter?

            It was just a personal opinion

            I think both were/are shit

            Carter with his blocking. Mallard with his giving and taking shit away depending on his mood.

            Get over it

            • Stuart Munro 9.1.1.1.1.1
              27 May 2018 at 9:50 pm

              Caught out but still wriggling like the ignorant worm you are.

              It’s not personal Chris T – I have no idea who you are and no wish to know.

              Opinion is all very well, but facts are sacred.

              “I think both were/are shit”

              Yes, why don’t you fall back on false equivalence. Surely you can claim a spurious “right to an opinion” not based in anything factual of course, prejudices aren’t – and you certainly have nothing else to offer.

              Carter was objectively the lousiest speaker in NZ history – so corrupt he excused his ministers from answering questions more often than not. Mallard, whatever one thinks of him as a person, does not do that, which makes him an acceptable speaker.

              And it makes your troll bullshit rather transparent.

              • Chris T …
                27 May 2018 at 10:11 pm

                No

                Mallard just decided to do things on his mood of the day and expect others to guess

                • Stuart Munro …
                  27 May 2018 at 11:49 pm

                  Rubbish.

                  The opposition is scraping to find anything to say. They don’t have any questions that will get them anywhere because the whole process of good governance is unimaginable to them.

                  They decided to play Mallard, who’s been fractious before. He didn’t bite. Cue desperate bullshit like yours from the trolls.

  10. mary_a 10
    27 May 2018 at 2:16 pm

    Bennett and Brownlee are a disgrace to Parliament. Their petulant behaviour is totally inexcusable.

    Seems the pair of them are gunning for a showdown with Speaker Mallard. Rules of the wild west apply for these two outlaws. Hope the voters of Northcote are paying attention.

    As for the picture of Bridges. His usual crowd of admirers have turned out to see him …

    • NZJester 10.1
      27 May 2018 at 6:21 pm

      As for the picture of Bridges. His usual crowd of admirers have turned out to see him …

      Yes, it was an unusually warm reception for a National MP. ;-p

  11. Kat 11
    27 May 2018 at 3:04 pm

    That cunning plan you could pin a tail on and call it a weasel belongs to John Slater. The weasel left the building back in 2016.

  12. NZJester 12
    27 May 2018 at 6:17 pm

    And note to the Greens. Now would be a good time to get your questions back. Currently they are being wasted.

    Being Wasted? I don’t think so.
    It was a stroke of genius for the Greens to give them to National as all the extra questions National get to ask help show off just how useless they are everything.
    It also shows just how arrogant they are when it comes to following rules.
    Some of the extra questions they have asked have been a godsend for Labour.

  13. In Vino 13
    27 May 2018 at 7:57 pm

    Are the mice playing while the cat is away? Think about antics in Question Time, and possible manoeuvring by DP experts…

  14. rhinocrates 14
    27 May 2018 at 10:18 pm

    I’m waiting for our most dependable sexist, Wayne, to explain why women should not be involved in politics – not because they’re women of course, but because… whatever, it’s just THIS woman – it’s OK if they pass for white and are in the National tree hut, unlike Metiria. All Nats are fucking misogynist arseholes, and the women who get into their treehouse only manage that by abandoning their sisters and spout the “Thatcher was a feminist” nonsense.

  15. Chris 15
    31 May 2018 at 8:12 pm

    What about Phil Twyford, when he does not care what any ministry says. They are wall wring, and I am the only one who knows best. What a cunt.