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Doofus of the week – May 27, 2018

Written By: - Date published: 8:54 am, May 27th, 2018 - 28 comments
Categories: doofus of the week, Gerry Brownlee, Judith Collins, national, paula bennett, same old national, Simon Bridges, the praiseworthy and the pitiful, uncategorized, you couldn't make this shit up - Tags:

There was some heavyweight competition this week.

In the United Kingdom Katie Hopkins became upset because a Daily Mirror article had the headline “Katie Hopkins banned from leaving South Africa after taking ketamine”.  She had taken ketamine, although apparently for medical reasons and she was banned from leaving South Africa.  So although in terms of sequencing the headline was correct the drug was not causative of the banning.

Instead she had her passport confiscated for a brief time for spreading racial hatred.

There are only two possible reasons for her complaint.

Either she thinks that being accused of spreading racial hatred is not as bad as being accused of taking recreational drugs, or even worse she was proud of being accused of spreading racial hatred.

The Daily Mirror responded in the most cutting way, posting the retraction to end all retractions.

The complaint was upheld but no damages were ordered because of the posting of the retraction.

Locally there was Judith Collins releasing bizarrely minor allegations against Phil Twyford on successive days.  But at least unlike her leader she was generating media attention so she was excluded from consideration.

There was Simon Bridges on his national tour meeting lots of ordinary kiwis like in this photo.

Looks more like Siberia to me than provincial New Zealand.  Maybe Judith had a hand in designing his itinerary.

The finalists were Gerry Brownlee and Paula Bennett for as insipid a parliamentary attack on speaker Trevor Mallard as you can imagine.

Believe me Trevor Mallard is not on my christmas card list.  But I thought he handled the situation adroitly and showed Brownlee and Bennett to be chumps.  It was hard to choose between them.

Bennett was a candidate for throwing her toys out of the cot for having a question taken off her and for carrying on her grievance the next day.  But she did use an unparliamentary comment which standing orders prohibits.  So what did she expect?  She did not misspeak.  She was reading from her notes at the moment that she said “bribe”.  This was planned as a test of Mallard.

And Gerry Brownlee was also a candidate for letting rip with some comment aimed at Mallard after Paula’s question was taken off her.  It is not recorded in Hansard and I cannot make it out from the video but clearly it annoyed Mallard.  And Brownlee then wrote a limp letter to Mallard giving him a 2 pm deadline to grovel and seek forgiveness.  Mallard showed contempt to the letter by not even replying.

Then there were those petulant instances of disobedience in the House.  They reminded me more of juvenile bad behaviour in a school class, not the country’s top institution trying to run our country.

The really stupid thing is that it all looks so choreographed.

Here is film of Bennett and Brownlee planning it.

National wanted to escalate the fight with Mallard and they must have discussed doing something dramatic like staging a mass walk out.

At least if we believe Bennett this was the case.

But Gerry refused to accept that any planning occurred.

On Friday he said:

We never considered walking out en masse.  That is just bad reporting.”

This is the first thing he said in this interview.  There is no way to reconcile his statement with Bennett’s tweet.  Talking about walking out en masse and deciding against it and not considering walking out en masse are mutually exclusive concepts.

And he took the chance to repeat “stupid little girl” twice.

It was a line call who to award this week’s Doofus to.  But Gerry Brownlee, for contradicting your Deputy Leader and for saying what looks like a rather big porky pie you are this week’s doofus.

Note to National.  Please keep your strategic geniuses in their current role.  They are doing great for the country.

And note to the Greens.  Now would be a good time to get your questions back.  Currently they are being wasted.

28 comments on “Doofus of the week – May 27, 2018”

  1. dv 1

    If I was in Northcote would I want to vote for such a group of doofii?

    And how does this sort of idiocy hold the Govt to account?
    Questions for the house can’t be asked if you are not in the house can they?

    • AB 1.1

      If you were in Northcote you would already be one of the doofii and oblivious to your own doofusness. You would be doofusing you way through the day.
      That means a narrow win to Bidois

  2. One Anonymous Bloke 2

    I thought Simon ‘speak English or die’ Clark was a better candidate.

    PS: has he been identified on social media yet?

  3. bwaghorn 3

    Oh come on stop being so one eyed twyford wins hands down. It’s as bad as a cop being caught drunk driving .

  4. Gabby 4

    It’s not even as bad as a cop being caught on his phone driving waggy.

  5. Ankerawshark 5

    For what it’s worth bwagon. Most people on an on-line poll didn’t think what Twyford did was bad.

    Desperate times for the Torres. Playing up in question time (they did say after the election they weren’t there to help parliament run smoothly) and rather insignificant deeds from Twyford are really scrapping the barrel.

    A must read from open mike yesterday was the secret diary of Paula Bennett. Utterly priceless

  6. Graeme 6

    Well it’s certainly a spectacular performance when you get HDPA calling you a “National Embarrassment” Mainly aimed at the sexist put down, and the repeating of it , but unequivocally calling out the whole fiasco.

    https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=12058350

    Sorry for linking to HDPA, but I think she’s redeemed her self wiht this piece, and might be returning to the sort of work she did before she came a gutsa trying to take down Gun City. There was a change at that point.

  7. It was orchestrated. Have no doubt about it. Its called disruption or filibustering. It’s designed to slow the house down ; not during question time in particular, but for legislation that follows after the one hour spent. I could comment about the Mr Speakers Smith and Carter, but I won’t except to say that every opposition since time began has had differences with the Speaker. Its a wrestle in the mud. Expect more of it as National struggles to get the headlines. Lets not give them more oxygen.

  8. fender 8

    That photo of Bridges is just weird. What’s he doing? Is he saying “crucify me”, “I’m being crucified”, “Puckish Rogue wants a leader with a rear end this wide, and an ego to match”

  9. Chris T 9

    I’ve always thought the speaker role should be chosen by an independent agency with independent candidates.

    And no, not just this year, thought the last one was almost as bad as Mallard

    • Stuart Munro 9.1

      You’re dreaming.

      Carter was infinitely worse, protecting liars like Key and lame ministers like Nick Smith. There’s nothing substantive to Bennet & Brownlee’s hassle with Trevor – they’re making noise they figure they can spin their way in the media – pretty irrelevant really.

      • Chris T 9.1.1

        If you think Carter was worse that is cool. It’s just personal perception

        Which is kind of my point. If the role was independent it wouldn’t be.

        Shame you instantly went to jumping to the defence of Mallard rather than actually addressing my point though.

        No argument against it?

        • Stuart Munro 9.1.1.1

          You really don’t have a clue, do you?

          This wretched opposition can get real questions answered on the vanishingly rare occasions the morons actually scrape together enough nouse to ask any.

          This was never true of Carter. It’s not about defending Mallard, it’s about your gross misrepresentation of the worst speaker New Zealand has ever had.

          You’re just a little partisan muppet with nfi whatsoever you’re talking about.

          It’s not personal perception – it was failure, gross and deliberate failure to meet the standards outlined in the cabinet manual. Mallard does meet those, which is the job, moron. Not pandering to the histrionics of an opposition who never had their shit together on their best day.

          Shame you couldn’t find an argument with both hands and a braille map.

          • Chris T 9.1.1.1.1

            Moron?

            Lol

            As much as I find your personal attacks against me over an idea that even ex Labour PM Palmer agrees with me on, pretty odd, you might want to take a chill pill.

            Why so bitter?

            It was just a personal opinion

            I think both were/are shit

            Carter with his blocking. Mallard with his giving and taking shit away depending on his mood.

            Get over it

            • Stuart Munro 9.1.1.1.1.1

              Caught out but still wriggling like the ignorant worm you are.

              It’s not personal Chris T – I have no idea who you are and no wish to know.

              Opinion is all very well, but facts are sacred.

              “I think both were/are shit”

              Yes, why don’t you fall back on false equivalence. Surely you can claim a spurious “right to an opinion” not based in anything factual of course, prejudices aren’t – and you certainly have nothing else to offer.

              Carter was objectively the lousiest speaker in NZ history – so corrupt he excused his ministers from answering questions more often than not. Mallard, whatever one thinks of him as a person, does not do that, which makes him an acceptable speaker.

              And it makes your troll bullshit rather transparent.

              • Chris T

                No

                Mallard just decided to do things on his mood of the day and expect others to guess

                • Stuart Munro

                  Rubbish.

                  The opposition is scraping to find anything to say. They don’t have any questions that will get them anywhere because the whole process of good governance is unimaginable to them.

                  They decided to play Mallard, who’s been fractious before. He didn’t bite. Cue desperate bullshit like yours from the trolls.

  10. mary_a 10

    Bennett and Brownlee are a disgrace to Parliament. Their petulant behaviour is totally inexcusable.

    Seems the pair of them are gunning for a showdown with Speaker Mallard. Rules of the wild west apply for these two outlaws. Hope the voters of Northcote are paying attention.

    As for the picture of Bridges. His usual crowd of admirers have turned out to see him …

    • NZJester 10.1

      As for the picture of Bridges. His usual crowd of admirers have turned out to see him …

      Yes, it was an unusually warm reception for a National MP. ;-p

  11. Kat 11

    That cunning plan you could pin a tail on and call it a weasel belongs to John Slater. The weasel left the building back in 2016.

  12. NZJester 12

    And note to the Greens. Now would be a good time to get your questions back. Currently they are being wasted.

    Being Wasted? I don’t think so.
    It was a stroke of genius for the Greens to give them to National as all the extra questions National get to ask help show off just how useless they are everything.
    It also shows just how arrogant they are when it comes to following rules.
    Some of the extra questions they have asked have been a godsend for Labour.

  13. In Vino 13

    Are the mice playing while the cat is away? Think about antics in Question Time, and possible manoeuvring by DP experts…

  14. rhinocrates 14

    I’m waiting for our most dependable sexist, Wayne, to explain why women should not be involved in politics – not because they’re women of course, but because… whatever, it’s just THIS woman – it’s OK if they pass for white and are in the National tree hut, unlike Metiria. All Nats are fucking misogynist arseholes, and the women who get into their treehouse only manage that by abandoning their sisters and spout the “Thatcher was a feminist” nonsense.

  15. Chris 15

    What about Phil Twyford, when he does not care what any ministry says. They are wall wring, and I am the only one who knows best. What a cunt.

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  • Nobody Left Behind.
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  • Abortion law reform a win for women
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  • How to spot bogus science stories and read the news like a scientist
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  • Why New Zealand needs to continue decisive action to contain coronavirus
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    2 weeks ago
  • Parliament and the pandemic II
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  • When a virus goes viral: pros and cons to the coronavirus spread on social media
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  • How to survive 14 days of self-isolation
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  • Abortion Legislation Bill passes third reading
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  • 68-51
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  • The ‘herd immunity’ route to fighting coronavirus is unethical and potentially dangerous
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    2 weeks ago
  • Eight new COVID-19 cases today. It’s no surprise when you look at some numbers
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  • The WINZ Paradox versus the new COVID-19 Reality: Get real people, seriously…
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    2 weeks ago

  • Christchurch Hospital Hagley ICU to open to support COVID-19 response
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    12 hours ago
  • Tariff concessions on COVID-19 related products
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Clarification of modification to wage subsidy scheme
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    2 days ago
  • Face masks flowing to DHBs
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • COVID-19: Further steps to protect New Zealanders’ jobs
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    3 days ago
  • Tax relief for Mycoplasma Bovis farmers
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • $27 million for NGOs and community groups to continue providing essential services
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    4 days ago
  • Statement on guilty plea of March 15 terrorist
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    4 days ago
  • COVID-19 updates
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    4 days ago
  • Police numbers break through 10,000 mark
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Urgent tax measures for economic recovery
    Urgent legislation has been passed to support the package of economic and social measures needed to recover from the impact of the coronavirus outbreak. “The COVID-19 Response (Taxation and Social Assistance Urgent Measures) Bill will cushion New Zealanders from the worst economic impacts of the COVID-19 outbreak,” said Revenue Minister ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Further support for farmers and growers as drought persists
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • COVID-19: Temporary changes to Education Act
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Canada, Australia, Chile, Brunei and Myanmar join NZ and Singapore in committing to keeping supply a...
    Canada, Australia, Chile, Brunei and Myanmar have joined forces with New Zealand and Singapore by committing to keep supply chains open and remove any existing trade restrictive measures on essential goods, especially medical supplies, in the face of the Covid-19 crisis.  Trade and Export Growth Minister David Parker today welcomed ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • COVID-19: Rent increase freeze and more protection for tenants
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Working together to protect businesses and workers
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • State of National Emergency declared to fight COVID-19
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Prime Minister’s statement on State of National Emergency and Epidemic Notice
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Deadline for domestic travel extended
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Mortgage holiday and business finance support schemes to cushion COVID impacts
    The Government, retail banks and the Reserve Bank are today announcing a major financial support package for home owners and businesses affected by the economic impacts of COVID-19. The package will include a six month principal and interest payment holiday for mortgage holders and SME customers whose incomes have been ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Government working to keep air freight moving
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • New Zealand moves to COVID-19 Alert Level 3, then Level 4 in 48 hours
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    1 week ago
  • Prime Minister: COVID-19 Alert Level increased
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Govt takes significant economic decisions as NZ readies for Alert Level 4 in COVID-19 fight
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Govt backs RBNZ move to support economy with lower interest rates
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Government statement on commercial cooperation during COVID-19
    The Government has asked the Commerce Commission to take account of the exceptional circumstances created by COVID-19 when monitoring business behaviour in coming weeks.   “The purpose of my request to the Commerce Commission is to make sure businesses can work together in ways that will allow them to provide ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • New Zealand temporarily closes diplomatic posts in Barbados and Myanmar due to COVID-19
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    1 week ago
  • Supporting Māori communities and businesses through
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Guidelines for hospitality establishments released
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    1 week ago
  • Nation steps up to COVID-19 Alert Level 2
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • PM Address – Covid-19 Update
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    1 week ago
  • NZ and Singapore commit to keeping supply and trade links open, including on essential goods and med...
    New Zealand and Singapore have jointly committed to keep supply chains open and to remove any existing trade restrictive measures on essential goods, especially medical supplies, in the face of the Covid-19 crisis. Trade and Export Growth Minister David Parker welcomed the commitment. “This is an important collective response, and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Joint Ministerial Statement by Singapore and New Zealand -Covid-19 situation
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Transit between Australia and New Zealand
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • $100 million to redeploy workers
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • More support for wood processing
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Govt steps in to protect Air New Zealand
    The Coalition Government has stepped in to protect Air New Zealand with a significant financial deal that protects essential routes and allows the company to keep operating. The Government and Air New Zealand have agreed a debt funding agreement through commercial 24-month loan facilities of up to $900 million*. The ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Stronger border measures to protect NZers from COVID-19
    The Government has taken further measures to protect New Zealanders from the COVID-19 virus, effectively stopping all people from boarding a plane to New Zealand from 11:59pm today, except for returning New Zealanders, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announced today.  New Zealanders’ partners, legal guardians or any dependent children travelling with ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Action on indoor gatherings and events to protect public health
    The Government has reinforced its commitment to protecting the health of New Zealanders from COVID-19 through the cancellation of indoor events with more than 100 people.  “Protecting the health of New Zealanders is our number one priority, and that means we need to reduce the risks associated with large gatherings,” ...
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    2 weeks ago