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Fuck off, Bob Jones: and advertisers? Be warned

Written By: - Date published: 7:00 pm, October 22nd, 2013 - 94 comments
Categories: activism, newspapers, you couldn't make this shit up - Tags: ,

Bob Jones has produced another disgusting “opinion piece”, and the New Zealand Herald has once again been disgusting enough to publish it.

I completely understand that a lot of people don’t have the spoons for taking on yet another awful triggery misogynist piece of shit produced by an awful misogynist piece of shit.  On this occasion, I do.  Hence this post.

The URL of the article is:

http:// www.nzherald.co.nz/ opinion/news/article.cfm?c_id=466&objectid=11143714

A precis of the article for those who do not wish to feed the Herald’s amoral clickbait campaign:

  • This one time, Bob Jones was in Viet Nam, and he noticed that women can’t drive
  • Then he badgered Hutt City Council to not install traffic lights all over the place
  • Now there are roundabouts and women can’t use them and even women he knows agree with him
  • Anyway, he once bought a totally awesome penis substitute car and he drove totally awesomely but bitches complained ’cause they ain’t shit
  • So he laughed at the Police letter he received and told them (CONTENT NOTE: and here’s where I quote the awful violent bit)

I replied, first pointing out that passing is not illegal and adding that while normally I don’t condone police violence, this was an exception and they would be doing God’s work by going to the complainants’ homes, beating the crap out of them and burning their houses down.

  • Then he interpreted the automatic form letter he received in response as agreement.
  • Finally, he makes a hilarious joke about how Saudi Arabia shouldn’t let women drive because lol, bitches can’t drive.

Dovil has also provided a write-up, fed through a What Bob’s Really Thinking translator. Di W has challenged Bob to a parallel park-off.  Rachel Rayner has a nice little template for you to complain to the editor – before you complain to the Press Council.

And I’ve been tweeting companies whose ads appear on the article.  These include:

  • ASB Bank – no response
  • Jetstar – no response
  • iHeartRadio – who, to their credit, acknowledged the tweet, but stated they can’t control where their ads end up.  I say: demand a better contract.
  • Accor Hotels – no response
  • Nissan – no response – but so ironic
  • RealMe – the new government login service.  I can’t tell if this account is genuine so tweeted NZ Post instead.

Companies which don’t have Twitter accounts I can easily locate are:

  • Sovereign Insurance
  • State Insurance

… which is a pity, because I’d love to know if either of them would cover my house in the circumstances of the Police burning it down to punish me for driving too cautiously to suit Sir Bob.

The problem, once again, is less Bob Jones being a hateful piece of shit, and more that The Herald will obviously continue to publish schlock to match their page size as long as it generates pageviews and sells advertising.

I don’t expect this story to be the final nail in the coffin.  I don’t expect to change the world overnight.  But I know that pressuring advertisers can get results (admittedly, with a well-run social media campaign and a few tens-of-thousands of activists).  So I’m going to do what I can.

ETA

The hashtag is #boycottbobjones, and more advertisers are being tweeted:

94 comments on “Fuck off, Bob Jones: and advertisers? Be warned”

  1. IrishBill 1

    He’s turned into Krusty the Clown. His next column is gonna be about how bad his mother in law is and the one after that he’s going to pull his eyes into slits and chant “me so solly, me so solly”.

    That said, he’s an old man – you’ve got to expect him to shit his pants in public occasionally.

    • QoT 1.1

      Yes … but I can also expect someone at the Herald to, at the very, very least, edit out the bits where he calls for assault and arson.

      • Lanthanide 1.1.1

        If you’re going to edit out the “best bits”, why would you even bother publishing the remains?

        • QoT 1.1.1.1

          Jones is quite capable of being a whiney, cantakerous old bastard without inciting violence. As every other awful column he’s written shows.

          • Brett Dale 1.1.1.1.1

            QOT:

            Well dont read, what he writes. why would you read every column he writes if they’re awful. I think he sucks, so i stop reading his pieces ages ago.

    • Enough is Enough 1.2

      Pretty close to the mark.

      Bob Jones writes for one reason. He doesn’t do it as a job or for money like all other contributors to the Herald, he does it to get a reaction from those he is poking.

      Unlike a Paul Holmes or Paul Henry, he intentionally goes out to offend. Those other boys just did it without thinking because they were inherently racist.

      I doubt he ventures into the Standard too often. I doubt he knows what the internet is. But if he did, he would think Mission accomplished.

      And Herald will pay him another handsome fee to right this shit again next week.

  2. Matthew 2

    Thanks QoT. Have sent a message to the editor asking them to pull down the opinion piece and issue an apology. Hopefully other Standardistas do the same.

  3. Tat Loo 3

    QoT. This is also who you may want to hit up with a very clear statement of why this shit is below a premier paper like the NZ Herald.

    http://investorcentre.apn.com.au/phoenix.zhtml?c=144006&p=irol-govboard

  4. Lindsey J Rea 4

    The problem is that it is not below the New Zealand Herald! There is no “below” there.

  5. Debbie 5

    Well said QoT, I was horrified to read this article online earlier.

    Like you say the issue isn’t just that BJ (unfortunate initials: with an attitude like his, I can’t imagine he’s had one recently? or maybe that’s the problem?) is a cantankerous and misogynist dinosaur, it’s that the Herald keep giving him column space. I guess they don’t understand that the multiple comments aren’t indicative of popularity; at least not when all the comments are united in disgust.

  6. Morrissey 6

    Anybody who has read his tiresomely unfunny “satire” Degrees for Everyone would know that Bob Jones does not have a funny bone in his body.

    Little brother got all the literary talent in that family.

  7. Blue 7

    I understand the desire to get outraged about Bob Jones’ output. But that’s exactly what the Herald wants. More clicks, more comments, more letters to the editor, more people looking at them and talking about them. That’s why they employ Jones in the first place. It’s not because he has anything worthwhile to say.

    He’s a one trick pony doing his wind-up routine and hoping someone will bite back. The Herald (and more importantly their advertisers) are hoping so too. If you’re tweeting them, it means you saw their ad and you saw it on Bob’s page. They’re more likely rubbing their hands with glee than considering pulling their sponsorship.

    Remember who is saying it before you ascribe any importance to it, and trust that other people will do the same. Bob Jones’ mind is a very shallow pool and those who look in it see their own reflections.

    • QoT 7.1

      No, Blue. I utterly reject your entire comment, as I reject the idea of “ignore the trolls until they go away”. This post basically sums up my thinking:

      Yes, silence is a reaction, which is the third problem with the feeding metaphor. Not only is it behavior, but it is highly rewarding behavior to trolls. The important thing to remember about trolls is their purpose. It isn’t to get attention for themselves per se. It is to control the conversation.

      I’m not some wide-eyed innocent clutching my pearls over the death of good noble journalism. Of course it’s all part of the Herald’s plan. But we do not make it untenable for them to continue to publish this shit by ignoring it.

      • Sosoo 7.1.1

        Since Jones is playing you like a Stradivarius, he seems to have won already.

        The column was clearly ridiculous and you making such a meal out of it just multiplies Jones’ fun. Please keep it up.

        • QoT 7.1.1.1

          Sosoo: it might help to actually read the comment you’re replying to.

          I am quite aware that Bob Jones’ publication relies on stirring up outrage. The point is, it relies on stirring up just enough outrage that the Herald can brush it off without facing serious consequences. Stir up enough resistance to his bullshit? Different story.

      • Ennui 7.1.2

        it’s all part of the Herald’s plan which implies that they have a “plan” per se. I would like to give them credit with this BUT…….

    • Pete 7.2

      You may recall the Chief of the Australian Army giving a statement this year about sexual harassment in the ADF. One thing he said stuck with me: “The standard you walk past is the standard you accept”. I’m not going to walk past this because, frankly, Bob Jones doesn’t meet my standards.

  8. Ad 8

    Would QoT consider an NZHerald response in full sardonic display, with no “fucks”?
    Step into it!

  9. Lindsey J Rea 9

    They had a vacancy in the “crusty old fool” section after they pensioned off Garth George when lots of people complained about him publishing a letter calling for violence against an MP. Lots of complaints may get rid of Jones.

  10. Don't worry. Be happy. 10

    Sunset industry printing boring old fart’s rants. So damn dull, so predictable, so God knows haven’t we heard all this from this jumped up little twit back in the ’80s?

  11. toad 11

    I guess when the Herald decided they finally had to let Garth George go they needed someone similarly misogynist to fill the gap.

  12. tricledrown 12

    A dose of paraQot would finish off the pugilistic dinosaur.
    No wonder his daughter ended up the way she is!

  13. Tanz 13

    Yes, the sensible and honest Garth George, whom the Herald let go, was so much better at writing excellent opinion pieces.

  14. aotearoean 14

    The Jones report got the respect it deserved I used mine as dunny paper!!!

  15. emergency mike 15

    Just had a read of it. Wow. I know QoT’s already done an excellent summary, but I want to do one too.

    – Women drivers are too slow, I seen it.
    – They drive in the wrong lane too much.
    – I got complaints about my driving, but I told them, changing lanes is legal fools.
    – How sweet would it be if we just banned them like the Saudi’s. Just sayin’.
    – That’s my ‘pinion see ya next time.

    • Chooky 15.1

      Bob Jones is of that generation of older men who think it is funny( and possibly sexy) to be sexist and bait women…I try not to take any notice of him or take him too seriously….suggest QoT offers her journalist services to the said Auckland Herald for the same fee….maybe she could alternate with Jones ?…that way she would really show him up and offer a bit of frisson?

      …..actually he isnt a good driver himself and has had several run-ins with traffic cops….I think once he punched on in Wellington and was up on assault charges

      • emergency mike 15.1.1

        As others have pointed out, it’s not Jones’s ho ho ho ‘opinions’ that’s the issue here, it’s that The Herald stooped to giving it daylight.

        Women have fought long and hard to relegate major newspapers presenting this kind of ‘men are superior’ piece to history. Yet here it is. Bob Jones can fuck off chuckling to his mansion, I could care less. But this is low and appalling behaviour from The Herald that needs to be shamed, not ignored.

        • Chooky 15.1.1.1

          @ emergency mike

          …didnt read it….here ….couldnt be bothered ……dont read the Herald…dont read the Press much….if I did and complained every time i saw sexism or right wing bias or mistruths I would be complaining all the time….havent got the time…..

          Bob Jones is Bob Jones….and occasionally he has interesting and controversial stuff to say …eg he would employ a BA Classics over a B.Com/Business….he cant be bothered reading his successful writer brother’s writing but put him through university….he is annoying …rumour has he didn’t treat one of his wives very well and certainly not traffic cops ….but in the whole scheme of things imo ….he is just a stirrer…(and does have his good points as Rhino has pointed out below)

          1.)…more to the point QoT should pressure the Herald to have her own opinion piece ( she wants paid recognition for her writing)…..as an alternative to Jones /or alternate with Jones….when you get two diametrically opposed columnists going …it makes their views more interesting…otherwise it is more ho hum….boring , boring…woman drivers ha ha……wipe your bum with it

          2.)…next point….when it comes to Sexism….go for the truly big sinners…the Catholic Church….and Catholic hypocrisy…….but most people dont !….or couldnt care less…or are imbued with it ….or are too scared…

          ….at least with Bob Jones, what you see is what you get …no hypocrisy!…….

          PS ….arent there a lot of Catholics in the Labour Party?….it is their party isnt it….I had better be careful and run for the Green hills

          • Anne 15.1.1.1.1

            ….arent there a lot of Catholics in the Labour Party?….it is their party isnt it….I had better be careful and run for the Green hills

            Goodness Chooky, those days have long since gone. Labour’s a ‘broad church’ now. Has been since the 1970s.

            Btw, pretty much agree about Bob Jones though. He’s a stirrer par excellence. He knows he’s going to upset all sorts of people with his opinion pieces. That’s why he writes them. A sort of ultra perverse humorist. He couldn’t care less who he hurts/ angers in the process. With his kind of money he can afford to be that way. Most of us don’t have the luxury.

            • Chooky 15.1.1.1.1.1

              Anne….”ultra perverse humorists” don’t have to have money to be that way( cf.Republic of Ireland) ….I know plenty of them without money ….and they also have an appreciative audience, also without money… after all life and people are pretty ridiculous

              ….just that people like Bob Jones gets more of an airing because he seeks it out…the publicity …likes boxing, physical and verbal…..and he is rich enough to sue, counter sue or fight off court cases

              …I think he would relish a match with QoT……maybe the Herald can organise one? ( QoT paid very well of course!)…better than asking the Herald to ban him….it could be QoT’s debut into paid feminist journalism!…sort of like a mud wrestling match

          • emergency mike 15.1.1.1.2

            Thanks for your considered reply Chooky.

  16. DTH 16

    I happened to start reading this opinion piece in my lunch break today. I didn’t finish it before I scrunched up the entire section and rammed it into the bin. I was completely disgusted by it and even contemplated complaining to the New Zealand Herald but thought I would just never purchase or read it ever again. So, thank you for the avenues to complain properly.
    I can’t believe they give any column width to this misogynist fool.
    Disgusting.

    • Sosoo 16.1

      It’s an intentionally absurd article with an obviously ridiculous and offensive premise, bolstered with obvious shaggy dog stories and which contradicts itself in several places. Only an illiterate would take it seriously.

      And yet, here you all are, wanting to fire off letters to the editor or so consumed with rage that you can’t even manage that.

      Tee hee.

      • Tat Loo 16.1.1

        So, you are saying that Bob Jones and the NZ Herald are outsmarting us by simply yanking our chain. Fascinating, if it were true – but how is one to know?

      • AsleepWhileWalking 16.1.2

        “Only an illiterate would take it seriously”
        The Herald took it seriously enough to take up the space publishing it.

      • QoT 16.1.3

        an intentionally absurd article

        I’ve read a lot of Bob Jones’ articles, including the wonderful blame-the-victim-for-being-raped ones. I question this statement.

  17. risildowgtn 17

    The sooner he kicks it the better
    Old demented fool

  18. donatello 18

    I went to the effort of pasting the url and fixing it into a new window,
    Read the headline and a sentence and stopped.

    Why bother reading this crap? The man is a tired old fool with opinions that are ignorant but probably representative of other old men idiots. Who cares, no one important is going to read this article and go “He makes some valid points!”. This article diminishes his relevance, his intelligence.

    Don’t bother wasting your keystrokes on this old fool. Honestly, you don’t need to read every word printed in the herald. No one else does!

    • jaymam 18.1

      If NZ had MMP in 1984, Bob Jones’s NZ Party would have had around 12 MPs. With the demise of ACT, Jones could set up another right wing party (not that I think he will, he’s now too old*). Even Labour pinched some of his ideas in 1984.

      * deliberate slur to enrage Bob, who of course is reading this!

    • QoT 18.2

      Why bother reading this crap?

      Because it’s presented as a reasonable, mainstream opinion in our nation’s alleged “paper of record”. What they choose to publish is increasingly irrelevant … yet still very important.

  19. viv k 19

    The Otago Daily Times have recently started publishing Jones’ bullshit column. Editorial manager is Phil Somerville philip.somerville@odt.co.nz.

  20. Rhinocrates 20

    You know, I can’t even bring myself to look at it. Sorry, QoT, but I already know too much about Jones and his attitudes towards women. He really loves women… in a way, on certain terms, within limits… so in his mind he’s not a misogynist. I really love children and cats too, but I wouldn’t think of letting them vote.

    I suppose it needs to be pointed out that “love” and infantilisation aren’t exclusive and the combination of the two in phoney “respect” is just how misogyny works.

  21. the pigman 21

    ” I really love children and cats too, but I wouldn’t think of letting them vote.”

    Aww, that's a little bit unkind, isn't it? But I guess you're right, though, cats should be exclusively retained for their skills as financial advisors: http://www.theguardian.com/money/2013/jan/13/investments-stock-picking/print

    • Rhinocrates 21.1

      Not bad pianists either…

      However, cats are not natural democrats, but theocrats – with themselves as divinities.

      • Rosie 21.1.1

        Have any felines come your way as yet R?

        • Rhinocrates 21.1.1.1

          Most of the neighbourhood cats know me, a tuxedo tried to adopt me and a siamese uses me as her bodyguard when venturing into other cats’ territories, but I don’t have the financial stability to serve one right now and it’s almost too heartbreaking when they die anyway (a talkative tabby-burmese cross I once had).

          • Rosie 21.1.1.1.1

            I recall your desire for a cat friend, a few weeks ago and had hoped one would make its way into your house, as a frequent visitor, given the $$$ circumstance. Another thought: What about SPCA fostering, or would that be too heartbreaking too?

      • BM 21.1.2

        Agreed, the evidence is quite conclusive.

        The evidence

        • fender 21.1.2.1

          The only real evidence there seems to be that RWNJ’s believe that all cats looks like Cunliffe.

          That’s pretty desperate, I think you’ll find there’s a closer correlation between dog-shits that look like Key.

      • Chooky 21.1.3

        @ Rhinocrates…re ‘Cats as divinites”

        Coolest Cat song….cats understand this!

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dHUfy_YBps

  22. amirite 22

    An irrelevant old fart receiving way too much unwarranted attention.
    We put our old, incapacitated dogs down to end their misery.
    Someone please end Bob’s.

  23. King Kong 23

    Women are terrible drivers but top rate at getting hysterical about some unimportant, tongue in cheek opinion pieces.

    Of course I could be wrong and the police have already undertaken a plan to start torching slow driving women in their homes.

    [QoT: Downplaying the seriousness of an article which advocates beating women – however “tongue in cheek” – gets your comments on my posts deleted in future.]

    • Sable 23.1

      Wasn’t it a woman who had to give birth to you? I’m sure she’d be delighted by your comments.

    • karol 23.2

      And yet, overseas stats show:

      Reckless Driving [male to female ratio] 3.41 to 1

      An MSN article:

      Who Are Better Drivers: Men or Women?
      MSN sheds some light on which sex is the better motorist — one of the most hotly debated arguments since ‘Which came first, the chicken or the egg?’
      […]

      Many auto insurance industry experts would agree with the theory that men, especially young men, tend to drive more aggressively than women and display their aggression in a direct manner, rather than indirectly. Furthermore, as a rule of thumb, male drivers are more likely than women to break the law, and the male of the species tends to be more of a risk-taker.

      Even so, it’s hard to say women are better drivers, although they are statistically safer. Women have just as many accidents as men; however, they tend to be minor fender-benders. Men, on the other hand, tend to do the job properly when they crash, and as a result cost their insurance companies a lot more money.

      So, even though it’s a blow to our male egos, we’ll have to give this round to women. Sorry fellas.

      NZ stats on high risk drivers:

      * Most high-risk drivers are male (84%) and young, with 54% under 30 years old.

      * The majority of people killed in high-risk driver crashes are the high-risk drivers themselves (59% of deaths) or passengers with high-risk drivers (29%). On average, each year 15 other road users are killed by high-risk drivers. Five of those deaths are on urban roads.

  24. Sable 24

    The Tory bird cage liner living up to its usual insipid standards of journalistic integrity. Personally I really don’t care what Jones or others write, its been a long time since I read their drivel and as for taking them seriously….

    Did read an interesting piece in Time magazine, another conservative rag I normally avoid but I was in the doctors office and as usual a little bored. It was titled Road Warriors and was about women drivers in Saudi. Many are starting to take up driving which of course is against the law. I guess the reality is people find a way around prejudice and bigotry in spite of what others many write, say or demand.

  25. Rosie 25

    Well done on not ignoring the jerk. Well done to you QOT and to those who are making complaints to the Herald itself and to the advertisers.

    Blue and Sosoo say he’s just a wind up and best to be ignored. This approach however means Bob Jones wins.Yes, he’s a sexist old bastard who loves winding folks up, but left unchallenged, he can claim centre stage. Non response to his sexism equates to society accepting his behaviour. Non response to others of his ilk means we give up the fight. That this should be printed in 2013 in NZ is disturbing and just goes to show why we have to continue to respond to arseholey behaviour. His ‘column’ carries the same sort of attitude that men (although not all men) had towards NZ suffragettes of the 19th century. No changes there. He thinks he’s funny but he’s not.

    Secondly, this bit is interesting:

    “My weaving in and out of the women resulted in complaints to the police, who wrote to me”.

    How does he know women wrote complaints about his behaviour? If the complainants had used the Community Road Watch Programme complaint forms, their identity is anonymous. Annnd if those the are forms that were used, it’s good to know they are still around. I used them a lot in my driving jobs in the 2000’s to report risky aggressive driving behaviour. Guess what? All my complaints were about men. I didn’t want them to be, I just didn’t experience risky behaviour with women drivers ( interestingly, see karols comment above). What I did get was a lot of jerks in SUV’s and Commodore HSV’s being tards. Sounds like Jones’ kind of behaviour…………

    Good that he received a complaint from the Police and good that in turn folks aren’t ignoring him. You don’t want to be like Shonkey and just shrug your shoulders and say “I’m comfortable with that”

    • karol 25.1

      Jones attitude, apart from the violence expressed towards women, shows a shocking disregard for the safety of others: riskier, and overly fast driving, not only puts the driver at risk but endangers others. I’d rather have slower and more cautious drivers around me. The faster and riskier the driving, the more damage caused when there is an accident.

      It’s the selfish, risky drivers that make driving an unpleasant and scary experience for others.

      What is the need to get everywhere so fast? – usually just a minute or two ahead of others.

      My preferred options these days are walking and public transport – often not as fast as even slow driving, but a more pleasant experience.

      • Rosie 25.1.1

        “What is the need to get everywhere so fast? – usually just a minute or two ahead of others”

        Oh, I know! They just don’t connect to the risk they cause to themselves and others. I don’t get opportunities to do open road driving much these days and like you, use public transport. When I am out and about in the car though I often find I have to pull over and let speeders past in the 50km area in the neighbourhood. (and I am driving at 50km myself so am not holding them up) only to find that I am up beside them at the lights a few seconds later.

        Maybe instead of using an expletive in my mind for these drivers I should use a term like “What a Jones!”

      • King Kong 25.1.2

        How can you possibly enjoy public transport as an experience unless you enjoy an uncomfortable proximity to the great unwashed.
        Took a bus in Wellington for two stops a couple of years ago and had to bath in Dettol immediately afterwards.

  26. BM 26

    I’m looking forward to his next column.

    Giving women the vote -One of the greatest mistakes of all time.

    Should be a good read.

  27. Rogue Trooper 27

    on female truck drivers (now that technology, electric over pneumatic gear shifts for example, has made operation less physical);
    -women take less risks
    -easier on gear
    -more diligent

    -source Road Transport Forum
    (when I saw the Jones headline, I failed to indicate an interest in reading the content).

  28. Virginia Linton 28

    It’s impossible to take ‘Sir Bob’ seriously. Read his dreadful novel Ogg (I rest my case). It must jar that brother Lloyd got the great writing gene, leaving Bob with just enough talent to churn out his ‘columns’ and … Ogg.

  29. Crunchtime 29

    NZ Herald is now a tabloid in more than one sense of the word.

    And Bob Jones… As cantankerous an old bastard as he is, I never expected such a violently misogynistic crywank as that article from him.

  30. lolitasbrother 30

    [QoT: excusing calls to beat women and burn down their homes, however “humorously” you choose to interpret them, gets your comment deleted. I’m sure the development of Western wit will not suffer as a result.]

  31. mikesh 31

    Wow. Did he just suggest our boys (and girls) in blue engage in assault and battery, and burn down people’s houses. Oh, dearie me, how awful.

  32. Well, he’s certainly got a point about the incompetents who seem to operate on the principle that there’s always someone to give way to at a roundabout if you just wait long enough, and the sociopaths who don’t keep left unless passing. And if you have to pass people on the inside because they consider it beneath them to do their doddering in the left-hand lane, and they *555 you, a fervent wish to have the cops give them a hiding is entirely understandable. Thing is, around half of these antisocial elements are male as far as I’ve noticed – and in the case of the right-lane hoggers, more than half. I guess Bob wrote a grumpy-cunt piece about these types, then decided it wasn’t sufficiently outrageous and decided to bung in some gratuitous sexism to boost the click-rate. He’s a prick like that.

    PS: all Bob’s pet-hate drivers pale into insignificance compared to the pricks who don’t know what an indicator is, and I suspect there’s a strong reason Bob doesn’t hate those cunts.

  33. lolita bother 33

    I see Idiot leads with his filthy language, and thats fine, he’s an anointed socialist , but not ok for people like me to simply mention Jones article reflects his sense of humour. I used to think Trotter was oh so precious but this column is unreal

  34. Mike S 34

    On the only positive note, he did use GNP instead of GDP

  35. Lisa Simpson had it right.

    “Just Dont Look”

    If ten thousand activists are going to his page to see what he wrote, then
    publications will continue to publicize him. If no one reads what he writes,
    then he will go away.

  36. lolita bother 36

    he’s gotta point [Brett above ] I went straight over and read everything Jones,

  37. Karyn 37

    Housework done and beds were made
    It looked to be a brilliant day
    What better thought to take a drive?
    My chaffaur he wasn’t at my side
    Now some for the flassy cars they go
    With leather seats and stereo
    But I”m your less audacious driver…
    and I had gone for the morris minor
    There she sat in the drive.
    Her chrome it shone and near made me cry.
    She’s not a beemer or a jag and really had only one snag
    She didn’t like to start from cold and I had to push her down the road..
    A running jump…into the seat ..was all done so very neat
    A bump a clunk and we were off
    heading for the motorway
    some distance off
    With tartan rug on the back seat and handbrake off we were complete
    Down on ramp at an alarming pace..
    To find our place in the race.
    Then some bastard made me start he wouldn.t let me in nor pass
    He raced ahead and then he slowed and I had no place to go
    Really no manners did he have That bloke was such an awful chav
    We ended up with wheels locked crunch of metal fire and smoke
    Teeth a grinding I went to slow but he had other ideas I know
    Off he went at hell bent pace
    With me his trailer locked in place
    We headed for the narrow bend it looked to be the bitter end
    What would me epitaph now read?
    Flames shot out inside the motor
    Killed by some bastard in a Toyota!

  38. Ecosse 38

    Bloody great poem!
    It sums up all that Bob “The Digger” Jones is!
    When you think about it, Bob Jones hasnt got a dogs show!
    If he were to run for office, it would all turn to custard!
    Good On You Karyn, great obersvational piece!
    Which is more than we can say for that steaming pile of bollocks that is,
    The Ego called Bob Jones!
    btw were Bob Jones & Rupert Murdoch separted at birth?
    Is there something we all need to know?
    Far too many similarities!

  39. Karyn 39

    Whats the difference between a steaming pile of poo and Bob Jones?

    A steaming pile of poo has more of an ethical compass and morals.

  40. Ecosse 40

    Whats the difference between Rupert Murdoch and Bob Jones?
    Bob Jones hasnt got round to selling his nationality yet, how lax!

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Recent Posts

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