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Going forward…

Written By: - Date published: 2:30 pm, September 7th, 2009 - 19 comments
Categories: humour - Tags: ,

Like r0b, I’m the new kid on The Standard’s block. Sounds like he got the cool initiation. I, on the other hand, had to go to a three hour meeting and, under brutal interrogation, denounce all my previous boyfriends with dubious political credentials. Plus they made me bring a plate.

But I made it and I’m looking forward to going forward with The Standard team.

Speaking of which, if you missed this on National Radio’s Media Watch yesterday you missed a treat. This is Irish broadcaster Joe O’Connor venting on RTE’ – Drivetime (but gently and with an accent to die for) on a particularly meaningless piece of corporate jargon:

…So we pretend that we know what we’re doing going forward and maybe they won’t notice going forward. And how come when things start going forward for a bank or a property developer my gas bills seems to be going upwards and my pay going downwards and my pension going spiralling in ever decreasing circles until it disappears up it’s own structural readjustment….

And, so I learn from Ewen Morris on Public Address that Joe is Sinead’s brother. Talented whanau.

19 comments on “Going forward… ”

  1. r0b 1

    Ho Tammy – welcome! Not so scary being the new kid in school when there’s more than one of us…

  2. DeeDub 2

    Absolute genius!

  3. burt 3

    Tammy Gordon… Mark’s sister ?

    • Tammy Gordon 3.1

      No not Mark’s sister. Flash’s. Bu he got all the super power in the family. Damnit.

    • burt 3.2

      The Mark I knew was ‘Flash’ as well. I suspect all ‘Gordon’s get called Flash at some stage. Or… are you telling me Mark has denounced his name and started calling himself Flash all the time.

      • Tammy Gordon 3.2.1

        No truly I don’t know Mark. Is he one of the Gay Gordons?

      • burt 3.2.2

        Tammy

        No idea about that, he was a high school mate and he had a sister called Tammy. Funny how these things work eh. I haven’t seen him in circa 20 years so I have no idea what he is up to these days.

        Best of luck here at the standard.

  4. Adolf Fiinkensein 4

    I never ever thought I would agree wholeheartedly with a post at The Standard. Well done young lady and long may you enjoy having your say. The only thing worse is listening to the fools who are passionate about going forward.

  5. Sophie 5

    Classic!

    Welcome Tammy, looking forward to seeing your take on things political and life in general.

    By the way, what’s happened to the captcha – it was almost worth flicking through some of the nasties in the comments to see what the captca had come up with?

  6. the sprout 6

    welcome Tammy, nice to have you with us

  7. Ari 7

    Welcome aboard, Tammy. 🙂

  8. Camden Whelk 8

    Going forward was the talk of my office this morning. One of my co-workers heard the phrase four times on Morning Report before, going forward, she left for work.

    If you had to bring a plate then whose head was on it?

    • Tammy Gordon 8.1

      my head of course. By the way on the same media watch programme soneone was quoted as saying, as an example of the sheer stupidity of the expression going forward, imagine this conversation (and I’m paraphrasing here)
      Q: Will you marry me, going forward?
      A. No, I’d rather marry someone who has a understands how language works

  9. lprent 9

    Welcome Tammy. Always nice to get a new writer, especially those of the xx persausion.

    Two questions. How long did it take to find the right email for that cool identicon? And I was sure that the protocol manual was to renounce all …… Ah no. That was from the wingnuts manual of know the enemy.

    Have fun.

    • Tammy Gordon 9.1

      cheers for the welcome. The identicon is from a tattoo that an old boyfriend had. Yes, I did renounce him. Just like Winston betrayed Julia.

  10. Rex Widerstrom 10

    Plus they made me bring a plate.

    Ah hah!!… so you’re saying The Standard is really an authoritarian patriarchical construct with outdated gender role concepts!

    Exposed at last!!! 😀

    [Oh, and welcome… haven’t seen any previous stuff, but a good first post].

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