web analytics

Going forward…

Written By: - Date published: 2:30 pm, September 7th, 2009 - 19 comments
Categories: humour - Tags: ,

Like r0b, I’m the new kid on The Standard’s block. Sounds like he got the cool initiation. I, on the other hand, had to go to a three hour meeting and, under brutal interrogation, denounce all my previous boyfriends with dubious political credentials. Plus they made me bring a plate.

But I made it and I’m looking forward to going forward with The Standard team.

Speaking of which, if you missed this on National Radio’s Media Watch yesterday you missed a treat. This is Irish broadcaster Joe O’Connor venting on RTE’ – Drivetime (but gently and with an accent to die for) on a particularly meaningless piece of corporate jargon:

…So we pretend that we know what we’re doing going forward and maybe they won’t notice going forward. And how come when things start going forward for a bank or a property developer my gas bills seems to be going upwards and my pay going downwards and my pension going spiralling in ever decreasing circles until it disappears up it’s own structural readjustment….

And, so I learn from Ewen Morris on Public Address that Joe is Sinead’s brother. Talented whanau.

19 comments on “Going forward… ”

  1. r0b 1

    Ho Tammy – welcome! Not so scary being the new kid in school when there’s more than one of us…

  2. DeeDub 2

    Absolute genius!

  3. burt 3

    Tammy Gordon… Mark’s sister ?

    • Tammy Gordon 3.1

      No not Mark’s sister. Flash’s. Bu he got all the super power in the family. Damnit.

    • burt 3.2

      The Mark I knew was ‘Flash’ as well. I suspect all ‘Gordon’s get called Flash at some stage. Or… are you telling me Mark has denounced his name and started calling himself Flash all the time.

      • Tammy Gordon 3.2.1

        No truly I don’t know Mark. Is he one of the Gay Gordons?

      • burt 3.2.2


        No idea about that, he was a high school mate and he had a sister called Tammy. Funny how these things work eh. I haven’t seen him in circa 20 years so I have no idea what he is up to these days.

        Best of luck here at the standard.

  4. Adolf Fiinkensein 4

    I never ever thought I would agree wholeheartedly with a post at The Standard. Well done young lady and long may you enjoy having your say. The only thing worse is listening to the fools who are passionate about going forward.

  5. Sophie 5


    Welcome Tammy, looking forward to seeing your take on things political and life in general.

    By the way, what’s happened to the captcha – it was almost worth flicking through some of the nasties in the comments to see what the captca had come up with?

  6. the sprout 6

    welcome Tammy, nice to have you with us

  7. Ari 7

    Welcome aboard, Tammy. 🙂

  8. Camden Whelk 8

    Going forward was the talk of my office this morning. One of my co-workers heard the phrase four times on Morning Report before, going forward, she left for work.

    If you had to bring a plate then whose head was on it?

    • Tammy Gordon 8.1

      my head of course. By the way on the same media watch programme soneone was quoted as saying, as an example of the sheer stupidity of the expression going forward, imagine this conversation (and I’m paraphrasing here)
      Q: Will you marry me, going forward?
      A. No, I’d rather marry someone who has a understands how language works

  9. lprent 9

    Welcome Tammy. Always nice to get a new writer, especially those of the xx persausion.

    Two questions. How long did it take to find the right email for that cool identicon? And I was sure that the protocol manual was to renounce all …… Ah no. That was from the wingnuts manual of know the enemy.

    Have fun.

    • Tammy Gordon 9.1

      cheers for the welcome. The identicon is from a tattoo that an old boyfriend had. Yes, I did renounce him. Just like Winston betrayed Julia.

  10. Rex Widerstrom 10

    Plus they made me bring a plate.

    Ah hah!!… so you’re saying The Standard is really an authoritarian patriarchical construct with outdated gender role concepts!

    Exposed at last!!! 😀

    [Oh, and welcome… haven’t seen any previous stuff, but a good first post].

Links to post

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • How we’re preparing for Omicron
    As countries around the world experience Omicron outbreaks, we’re taking steps now to ensure we’re as prepared as possible and our communities are protected. ...
    2 hours ago
  • What’s Labour achieved so far?
    Quite a bit! This Government was elected to take on the toughest issues facing Aotearoa – and that’s what we’re doing. Since the start of the pandemic, protecting lives and livelihoods has been a priority, but we’ve also made progress on long-term challenges, to deliver a future the next generation ...
    6 days ago
  • Tackling the big issues in 2022
    This year, keeping Kiwis safe from COVID will remain a key priority of the Government – but we’re also pushing ahead on some of New Zealand’s biggest long-term challenges. In 2022, we’re working to get more Kiwis into homes, reduce emissions, lift children out of poverty, and ensure people get ...
    1 week ago
  • Happy new year, Aotearoa!
    Welcome to 2022! As we look ahead to another year of progress on the big issues facing our country, we’re taking a look back at the year that’s been and everything the team of five million achieved together in 2021. ...
    3 weeks ago

  • Quarterly benefit numbers show highest number of exits into work
    The Government’s strong focus on supporting more people into work is reflected in benefit figures released today which show a year-on-year fall of around 21,300 people receiving a main benefit in the December 2021 quarter, Minister for Social Development and Employment Carmel Sepuloni said. “Our response to COVID has helped ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 hours ago
  • Northland to move to Orange, NZ prepared for Omicron 
    Northland to move to Orange Rest of New Zealand stays at Orange in preparedness for Omicron All of New Zealand to move into Red in the event of Omicron community outbreak – no use of lockdowns Govt planning well advanced – new case management, close contact definition and testing rules ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 hours ago
  • RNZAF C-130 Hercules flight departs for Tonga as Navy vessels draw nearer to Tongatapu
    A Royal New Zealand Air Force C-130 Hercules has departed Base Auckland Whenuapai for Tonga carrying aid supplies, as the New Zealand aid effort ramps up, Foreign Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta and Defence Minister Peeni Henare said today. “The aircraft is carrying humanitarian aid and disaster relief supplies, including water ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 hours ago
  • New Zealand prepared to send support to Tonga
    New Zealand is ready to assist Tonga in its recovery from Saturday night’s undersea eruption and tsunami, Foreign Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta and Defence Minister Peeni Henare said today. “Following the successful surveillance and reconnaissance flight of a New Zealand P-3K2 Orion on Monday, imagery and details have been sent ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Aotearoa New Zealand stands ready to assist people of Tonga
    The thoughts of New Zealanders are with the people of Tonga following yesterday’s undersea volcanic eruption and subsequent tsunami waves, Foreign Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta says. “Damage assessments are under way and New Zealand has formally offered to provide assistance to Tonga,” said Nanaia Mahuta. New Zealand has made an ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Record high of new homes consented continues
    In the year ended November 2021, 48,522 new homes were consented, up 26 per cent from the November 2020 year. In November 2021, 4,688 new dwellings were consented. Auckland’s new homes consented numbers rose 25 per cent in the last year. Annual figures for the last nine months show more ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Report trumpets scope for ice cream exports
    Latest research into our premium ice cream industry suggests exporters could find new buyers in valuable overseas markets as consumers increasingly look for tip top quality in food. Economic Development Minister Stuart Nash has released a new report for the Food and Beverage Information Project. The project is run by ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Honouring the legacy of legendary kaumātua Muriwai Ihakara
    Associate Minister for Arts, Culture, and Heritage Kiri Allan expressed her great sadness and deepest condolences at the passing of esteemed kaumātua, Muriwai Ihakara. “Muriwai’s passing is not only a loss for the wider creative sector but for all of Aotearoa New Zealand. The country has lost a much beloved ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Have your say on proposed changes to make drinking water safer
    Associate Minister for the Environment Kiri Allan is urging all New Zealanders to give feedback on proposed changes aimed at making drinking water safer. “The current regulations are not fit for purpose and don’t offer enough protection, particularly for those whose water comes from smaller supplies,” Kiri Allan said. “This ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Planting the seeds for rewarding careers
    A boost in funding for a number of Jobs for Nature initiatives across Canterbury will provide sustainable employment opportunities for more than 70 people, Conservation Minister Kiri Allan says. “The six projects are diverse, ranging from establishing coastline trapping in Kaikōura, to setting up a native plant nursery, restoration planting ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New Zealand congratulates Tonga's new Prime Minister on appointment
    Minister of Foreign Affairs Nanaia Mahuta today congratulated Hon Hu'akavameiliku Siaosi Sovaleni on being appointed Prime Minister of the Kingdom of Tonga. “Aotearoa New Zealand and Tonga have an enduring bond and the Kingdom is one of our closest neighbours in the Pacific. We look forward to working with Prime ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • High-tech investment extends drought forecasting for farmers and growers
    The Government is investing in the development of a new forecasting tool that makes full use of innovative climate modelling to help farmers and growers prepare for dry conditions, Agriculture Minister Damien O'Connor said.  The new approach, which will cost $200,000 and is being jointly funded through the Ministry for ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Support for fire-hit Waiharara community
    The government will contribute $20,000 towards a Mayoral Relief Fund to support those most affected by the fires in Waiharara in the Far North, Minister for Emergency Management Kiri Allan says. “I have spoken to Far North Mayor John Carter about the effect the fires continue to have, on residents ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Manawatū’s ‘oases of nature’ receive conservation boost
    The Government is throwing its support behind projects aimed at restoring a cluster of eco-islands and habitats in the Manawatū which were once home to kiwi and whio. “The projects, which stretch from the Ruahine Ranges to the Horowhenua coastline, will build on conservation efforts already underway and contribute ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New Zealand to continue Solomon Islands support
    A New Zealand Defence Force and Police deployment to help restore peace and stability to Solomon Islands is being scaled down and extended. The initial deployment followed a request for support from Solomon Islands Government after riots and looting in capital Honiara late last month. They joined personnel from Australia, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago