Herald Bingo

Written By: - Date published: 9:00 am, January 20th, 2016 - 40 comments
Categories: internet, Media, newspapers, social media lolz - Tags:

Herald bingo

(from the brilliance of Katie Ruscoe)

40 comments on “Herald Bingo ”

  1. BM 2

    Left out, something about Ronda Rousey, cause there’s nothing cooler than a good looking babe who can break bones.

    The herald is no longer a source of information, it’s now purely a vehicle to sell advertising.

  2. Anne 3

    There’s a news report out this morning about the Mad Butcher. Seems he fell over and hurt his arm. He’s got a bandage on it.

  3. Paul 4


    There is usually a crime story.
    Or 10.

    • Olwyn 4.1

      Yep. Quite a lot of crime stories. The “beneficiary/state house tenant does dumb/criminal thing” story is also missing from the card. Perhaps they all fit in the “personal responsibility” square.

  4. Ffloyd 5

    Love it! Should do one a week. Just waiting for Trevvy to write her next instalment of her passionate devotion to Joooohhhnnn, swoooonn!! Also waiting for review/critique on John Campell’s new ground breaking radio podcast. Or did I miss it?? Oh! I wonder if Johnny will get an invitation to RichGem’s wedding of the decade. Decade according to some bin 13 material.

  5. Left out the square containing: Regular sports column by unreconstructed misogynist convicted of injury with reckless disregard in 2009 for kicking the shit out of his partner breaking her back in two places

    • Rosemary McDonald 6.1

      speaking of which…remind me to let whoever might giveashit know that if I have to endure one more videoad featuring said misogynistic apology for a human being I am going do something really really out of character.

      But…the post is brilliant.

  6. Puckish Rogue 7

    You forgot the article about new parents who didn’t realise how hard it be

    • greywarshark 7.1

      PR sarky
      New parents never realise how hard before the first one, and never remember how hard when having any others. But some never have any – having observed the trauma that others go through.

  7. greywarshark 8

    Glad someone noticed and featured that. Good old Herald so reliably risible. It could do well as NZ leading tabloid. I wondered if it could match the USA National Enquirer, a well known grubby rag with an extensive backstory of its own?

    In 1926, William Griffin, a protégé of William Randolph Hearst, founded the paper as The New York Evening Enquirer, a Sunday afternoon broadsheet newspaper distributed throughout New York City, using money lent to Griffin by Hearst…. During the 1930s and 1940s, it became a voice for isolationism and pro-fascist propaganda. The paper was indicted along with Griffin under the Smith Act for sedition by a grand jury in 1942 for subverting the morale of US troops via to Griffin’s editorials against US military involvement in World War II. The charges were later dropped.

    also https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tabloid_journalism

  8. ianmac 9

    “National spin piece ridicules Andrew Little.” Written by Steven Joyce under a Roughan byline. (Is this a form of prostitution?)

  9. savenz 10

    I have not tuned into the herald for a while but you forgot the TV3 ‘advertorial’ and Sky City conference mention (with pic of SkyCity to get those gamblers salivating), the in appropriation of some iwi money (always headline), or a waste of money as some council has put in some art somewhere in the region and people are up in arms (with survey) or sports star in court over rape/assault and how badly Labour are doing with ‘advice’ on what they need to do to win next election and how great Key is but within an article supporting the opinion pieces saying how great he is.

  10. cogito 11


    Paddy Gower, Mike Hosking and Paul Henry jointly awarded Paparazzi of the Year for turning every news story into a promo for John Key.

  11. Grim 12

    “all young couples can afford a house in Auckland, they just need to cut back on lattes, put off buying that new BMW, avoid babies or accidents and one less oversea trip a year, just like we did”

    says young professional couple both on modest 6 figure incomes relying on parents capital to underwrite mortgage, both incidentally real-estate agents.

    • greywarshark 12.1

      Where was that? It’s priceless, I want to take a copy. Can you give a link, if you didn’t make it up.

  12. seeker 13

    Claiire Trevett should have two spaces for fan-ficcery of key, it is so obvious. (She is almost worse than Tracey Watkins!)

    I am sure she would willingly offer her restyled ponytail hair to be pulled along with heather dp, who were the main apologists for key’s hideous behaviour in the herald at the time. Ugh. Even Audrey fan-fic of national Young had a pop at key over his harassment of the poor woman who had had her hair consistently pulled by key over a period of months!

  13. Mrs Brillo 14

    Tell us where we can read more by Katie Ruscoe.

    She seems worth the effort.

    • Gotta say I agree, Katie’s definitely worth the effort. Look her up on twitter:


      Really pleased Katie let us post this here at TS. We need to hear more from the young folk because their experiences are not going to make the pages of the Herald or the news bulletins of TVOne or TV3 . The sad fact is that the Herald is never going to reflect life as it is lived by the majority of kiwis. They’re all about selling us sedation, not information.

  14. Reginald Perrin 15

    The square for a story on a Lorde-themed Tweet has already gone…


  15. savenz 16

    Also a commentary by a far righter posing as “Labour insider’ story by Josie Pagani, endorsing the Natz but in a NatLIte way.

  16. Magisterium 17

    “Content from Daily Mail” and “Content from Buzzfeed” should each be on the board about five times. That’s most of the Herald.

  17. Tc 18

    Piece framing supercity as lens fault.
    Fact free, science missing opinion article on climate change being a non issue.
    Max key item….whatever hes doing just stick him in there.
    Pro minister piece countering recent events. If stuck pull smith/brownlee/collins file theres years of material there.
    Vacuous piece about Richie/SBW/any tv talking head
    KDC piece about his wealth, girth, broken marriage, suggested deportation.

  18. weka 19

    Shouldn’t there be a badly-written, morally repugnant, factually illiterate opinion piece published in the interests of balance?

  19. Tautuhi 20

    Herald is the National Party Daily Tabloid Rag?

  20. BLiP 21

    Heh! Jonathon Pie nails it . . .


  21. Just as an aside, I’m liking the NY Daily News more and more. Tomorrow’s front page is a doozy: Palin and Trump – I’m with Stupid.


    And then there’s this, which somes up everything I loathe about coke addled west coast rock stars in 500 words:


  22. Jenny Kirk 23

    Its very sad. When I think back to how our local media led with stories of real interest and investigations into bueaocratic things that went wrong (sorry – can’t spell beaurocratic – tried 3 times ! ) …… and it used to take a long time to read the Herald and the Auckland Star (now long gone) and NOW it takes three seconds to flick through the Herald’s headlines to find something of real interest – this is really sad.
    The dumbing down of a once-intelligent nation. Bugga them all !

  23. millsy 24


  24. North 25

    “Man Gifted Deposit, Buys House” – Brilliant !

  25. Big dog 26

    The Herald must have done some research into what its readers like to read.As surprising as it may seem to anyone with an IQ higher than their shoe size,this is as good as it gets😳

  26. rhinocrates 27

    Fan fic or a Mary Sue style of slash fic?

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