web analytics

ImperatorFish: Hear Me!

Written By: - Date published: 6:39 pm, September 30th, 2013 - 8 comments
Categories: Media, the praiseworthy and the pitiful - Tags: ,

Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.

IF from the editorI’m really worried that an entire day might pass without your knowing what I’m thinking about a particular issue. Did you see me on TV? Did you hear me on the radio? Did you read my blogpost? My newspaper column?

How can you hope to get through each day unless I tell you what to think? It’s not that my analysis is particularly sophisticated; and please take it as given that I haven’t done any research, or that if I have done some I have ignored the facts that don’t suit my argument.

Did I mention that I’m being paid to give these opinions? I’m not saying someone rang me up and said “I’ll give you a thousand bucks if you express a negative opinion on so-and so.” No, it’s more subtle than that. My livelihood depends upon my clients knowing that I’ll put in a good word for them when I’m pretending to be an impartial observer of politics. When I look after them they look after me.

But even if I wasn’t being paid I’d probably still be doing it. And why not? I may have an inflexible worldview that disables my ability to think critically on a wide range of issues, but why should that prevent me from expressing myself publicly? Why should my inability to consider any argument without feeding it through a narrow ideological filter stop me from telling you what you need to be thinking?

My political affiliations are well known to those who follow politics closely. But most of the people who casually tune in to my TV or radio shows, or who glance at my columns, will be unaware of my close ties with a certain political party. Those ties make it very difficult for me to criticise the party openly, though sometimes I will mildly chide them over some matter of little consequence, so as to convince my audience that I really am a very reasonable and well-balanced fellow.

Sometimes I say things that I shouldn’t. Some people call this “lying.” But I don’t look at it like that. Some people say that politics is a contest of ideas, but that’s garbage. It’s about winners and losers. That’s all. If I say something that’s not true and people believe it, then that’s a win to my team, and nothing else matters. Moralise all you like about how dishonest I am, because nobody will believe you. “Well he/she would say that,” I’ll respond when challenged, before pointing out that my opponent is hopelessly biased because they once had some minor involvement in another political party ten years ago. I’ll also reassert my independence and balance by reminding the audience how I once criticised my own team over that minor thing a couple of months ago. So why would I lie? You can trust me, unlike the people I disagree with. They’re extremists. Look what they’re doing/want to do to this country!

Some of you know how the game works, but most of the people who read or hear what I say don’t. They’re just dumb spectators, who just happen to have a vote. That’s why my opinion matters. It’s not inherently worthier than yours, and it’s probably not even my own opinion. But I will be heard!

8 comments on “ImperatorFish: Hear Me! ”

  1. Anne 1

    Now this post reminds me of someone but I can’t for the life of me figure out who. 😕

  2. Outofbed 2

    Farrar

  3. ghostrider888 3

    Excellent. Hoo

  4. Anne 4

    My tongue was in my cheek ghostrider888.

    He did it again this morning on RNZ. Claimed Lianne Dalziel is part of the right faction in the Labour Party. That was his inference as to why she is going to bolt home in the ChCH mayoralty election. He really is so transparent. It beggars me how he thinks he can possibly get away with it.

  5. karol 5

    Gee, Scott’s satire just seems so …… real 😮

    It’s hardly funny a all.

    • he/she would be a good subject for a fly-on-the-wall tv series..

      ..(whoever this person is..)

      ..and..we all know that he/she? would probably like that idea..

      ..and he/she is not doing enough..

      ..i expect billboards..

      ..big billboards..

      ..and why no sky-writing yet..?

      ..and surely he/she has an app by now..?

      ..and in news about other seriously over-exposed people..who say very little of any worth..

      ..i am sure everyone is happy that that mike ‘i-agree-with(insert name of rightwinger)’ williams has found someone else/another rightwinger to agree with..

      ..he has started doing a piece on tv3 brek on mon morns..paired up with boag..

      ..and i didn’t have to hold my breath for very long..

      ..before the first ‘i agree with michelle on this’…spilled from his lips..

      ..(you could actually make up a drinking game around that one..

      ..everyone has to down their drink/smoke a joint..everytime williams ‘agrees’ with a rightwinger..

      ..you could also gamble on it..

      .break up the segment into minute segments..

      ..and bet on which minutes he will agree in..

      ..and if a trifecta,..?

      ..whoar..!

      ..a big payout..

      ..phillip ure..

      ..

      • ghostwhowalksnz 5.1.1

        The name of the reality series would be :

        Come Opine With Me

        Where the contestants say outlandish things all with a veneer of bonhomie, all the while an acerbic commentator has a voice over so you really know what they mean.

        But would people watch ?

        • phillip ure 5.1.1.1

          re name::..how about ‘what a hoot!’…

          ..or..’on the matt’..(sub-heading:..’be a fly on the wall…!..see hooten wrestle with/defeat the truth..!’..)

          ..and my favourite hoots-quote is his oft-repeated assertion/shouting of his ‘class’..

          ..his fuck-the-peasants!-moment..

          .. that he has ‘never eaten eaten frozen peas’..(said with suitable disdain at the very idea..).

          ..he claims his precious palate has only ever had ‘fresh’-peas..

          ..and what’s more..he would never countenance anything but a fresh pea..

          ..hilarious..!..eh..?

          ..(here’s a wheeze..!..someone should sneak into his room..

          ..and put a frozen pea underneath his mattress..

          ..eh..?..)

          ..phillip ure..

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Worsening housing crisis must prompt action
    A growing public housing waiting list and continued increase of house prices must be urgently addressed by Government, Green Party Co-leader Marama Davidson said today. ...
    4 hours ago
  • Twenty highlights of 2020
    As we welcome in the new year, our focus is on continuing to keep New Zealanders safe and moving forward with our economic recovery. There’s a lot to get on with, but before we say a final goodbye to 2020, here’s a quick look back at some of the milestones ...
    3 weeks ago

  • Jobs for Nature funding will create training and employment opportunities
    A major investment to tackle wilding pines in Mt Richmond will create jobs and help protect the area’s unique ecosystems, Biosecurity Minister Damien O’Connor says. The Mt Richmond Forest Park has unique ecosystems developed on mineral-rich geology, including taonga plant species found nowhere else in the country. “These special plant ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Pre-departure testing extended to all passengers to New Zealand
    To further protect New Zealand from COVID-19, the Government is extending pre-departure testing to all passengers to New Zealand except from Australia, Antarctica and most Pacific Islands, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “The change will come into force for all flights arriving in New Zealand after 11:59pm (NZT) on Monday ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Bay Cadets learn skills to protect environment
    Bay Conservation Cadets launched with first intake Supported with $3.5 million grant Part of $1.245b Jobs for Nature programme to accelerate recover from Covid Cadets will learn skills to protect and enhance environment Environment Minister David Parker today welcomed the first intake of cadets at the launch of the Bay ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Cook Islanders to resume travel to New Zealand
    The Prime Minister of New Zealand Jacinda Ardern and the Prime Minister of the Cook Islands Mark Brown have announced passengers from the Cook Islands can resume quarantine-free travel into New Zealand from 21 January, enabling access to essential services such as health. “Following confirmation of the Cook Islands’ COVID ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Supporting communities and landowners to grow employment opportunities
    Jobs for Nature funding is being made available to conservation groups and landowners to employ staff and contractors in a move aimed at boosting local biodiversity-focused projects, Conservation Minister Kiritapu Allan has announced. It is estimated some 400-plus jobs will be created with employment opportunities in ecology, restoration, trapping, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Border exception for some returning international tertiary students
    The Government has approved an exception class for 1000 international tertiary students, degree level and above, who began their study in New Zealand but were caught offshore when border restrictions began. The exception will allow students to return to New Zealand in stages from April 2021. “Our top priority continues ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Tiwai deal gives time for managed transition
    Today’s deal between Meridian and Rio Tinto for the Tiwai smelter to remain open another four years provides time for a managed transition for Southland. “The deal provides welcome certainty to the Southland community by protecting jobs and incomes as the region plans for the future. The Government is committed ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • New member for APEC Business Advisory Council
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has appointed Anna Curzon to the APEC Business Advisory Council (ABAC). The leader of each APEC economy appoints three private sector representatives to ABAC. ABAC provides advice to leaders annually on business priorities. “ABAC helps ensure that APEC’s work programme is informed by business community perspectives ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Govt’s careful economic management recognised
    The Government’s prudent fiscal management and strong policy programme in the face of the COVID-19 global pandemic have been acknowledged by the credit rating agency Fitch. Fitch has today affirmed New Zealand’s local currency rating at AA+ with a stable outlook and foreign currency rating at AA with a positive ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Additional actions to keep COVID-19 out of NZ
    The Government is putting in place a suite of additional actions to protect New Zealand from COVID-19, including new emerging variants, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “Given the high rates of infection in many countries and evidence of the global spread of more transmissible variants, it’s clear that ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • 19 projects will clean up and protect waterways
    $36 million of Government funding alongside councils and others for 19 projects Investment will clean up and protect waterways and create local jobs Boots on the ground expected in Q2 of 2021 Funding part of the Jobs for Nature policy package A package of 19 projects will help clean up ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New Zealand Government acknowledges 175th anniversary of Battle of Ruapekapeka
    The commemoration of the 175th anniversary of the Battle of Ruapekapeka represents an opportunity for all New Zealanders to reflect on the role these conflicts have had in creating our modern nation, says Associate Minister for Arts, Culture and Heritage Kiri Allan. “The Battle at Te Ruapekapeka Pā, which took ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Better care for babies with tongue-tie
    Babies born with tongue-tie will be assessed and treated consistently under new guidelines released by the Ministry of Health, Associate Minister of Health Dr Ayesha Verrall announced today. Around 5% to 10% of babies are born with a tongue-tie, or ankyloglossia, in New Zealand each year. At least half can ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Prisoner disorder event at Waikeria Prison over
    The prisoner disorder event at Waikeria Prison is over, with all remaining prisoners now safely and securely detained, Corrections Minister Kelvin Davis says. The majority of those involved in the event are members of the Mongols and Comancheros. Five of the men are deportees from Australia, with three subject to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Pre-departure COVID-19 test for travellers from the UK and the US from 15 January
    Travellers from the United Kingdom or the United States bound for New Zealand will be required to get a negative test result for COVID-19 before departing, and work is underway to extend the requirement to other long haul flights to New Zealand, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins confirmed today. “The new PCR test requirement, foreshadowed last ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago