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#JKLovePoetry

Written By: - Date published: 1:42 pm, October 23rd, 2015 - 37 comments
Categories: humour, john key - Tags: , , ,

In the absence of a caption contest this fine Friday, Standardistas might like to turn their idle hands to poetry. Love poetry. Specifically, the very special love and yearning that John Key seems to feel for Richie McCaw. The Twitterati have made such a good start:

https://twitter.com/danylmc/status/657329263599718400

37 comments on “#JKLovePoetry ”

  1. Shore Thing 1

    I hate the Wellington Twitterati with their senses of humour, their cutting social commentary and their attention to issues. Disgusts me.

  2. Steve Withers 2

    What did this arise from?

  3. Grindlebottom 3

    Richie I luv u
    I don’t luv our flag
    I also luv stevie
    Ur coach is a dag
    U bring it home Richie
    U’l bring back our cup
    And I luv ya Richie
    That’s y I suck up

    xxJK

  4. Red delusion 4

    I love the left, so bereft, moaning and whinging is their lot, thank god for Jk and the standard as that’s all they’ve got

    [lprent: You have been looking in a mirror rather a lot recently haven’t you? You have so described your own most noticeable attributes on this site. ]

    • Anne 4.1

      For someone who is so besotted with Richie McCaw and co., it worries me he can’t remember which side he was on in 1981. I mean a prime minister who can’t remember something so ‘precious’ to him… what else has he forgotten? Perhaps we should notify John Oliver so he can conduct another investigation.

    • Reddelusion 4.2

      Ouch 😀

  5. Muttonbird 5

    I expect it will be announced very early next week that the prime minister will be out of the country on an official trip to Europe should the All Blacks win on Sunday.

    • Anne 5.1

      I think you will find that – in the event they make the final – he will miraculously appear at the stadium just before kick-off – courtesy of the tax-payer yet again.

      • Rodel 5.1.1

        and desperately trying to shake hands with 3 other people at once..unable to decide which one provides the most transferable magical power.
        (I suck popularity out of other people)

    • veutoviper 5.2

      Already announced – Key is on his way tonight. And warning that the taxpayer will be paying big, not only for him (and don’t forget his ‘minders’) but also for other Ministers. Little is also going but paying part himself apparently.

      http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11534171

      • Muttonbird 5.2.1

        Thought as much. Hope they lose tomorrow and he’s forced to watch SA in the final.

  6. Tony Veitch 6

    A JK limerick:

    Ah, here’s to all the brave men in black

    With all the courageous attributes I lack

    But, Crosby Texter, never you fear,

    For I’ll keep near them (or them near)

    Nineteen Eight-One, can’t remember that far back!

  7. North 7

    Oh Red……you must admit it
    Lusting after jocks…..

    A grown man in a fit
    O’r Richie’s smelly socks

    And Hansen’s pretty grumpy
    Distraction is not goody

    Shut your ears to Ponce Key
    Who cares about his woody ?

    Rugger’s really not his game
    He never saw ten minutes

    Sucking sucking on your name
    It’s Crosby Textor ‘spin-its’

    Humph…….humph…….weirdly, maybe not ?

    Oh……My……God……!!!!!!

  8. Rosemary McDonald 8

    Rich, m8;-)
    Hrd man u;-)
    Beats me;-)
    ? they read
    flag 4 fl;-)

    xxjk;-)

  9. maui 9

    Big screen, straight locks, yes it’s MBIE.

    Punch, red card, referee departs, yes it’s DoC.

    No, not that DoC. New coach, new playing style, need the dough, welcome AIG, yes that DoC.

    Whistle, cheating, hand in the ruck, blue hand, crowd cheers. Away walks a smirking KeY.

  10. Incognito 10

    When I see Richie
    I start feeling itchy
    Because it actually sickens
    I go feed the chickens
    Nek minit I’m done with them
    And I’m back being John the PM

  11. JAG 11

    There once was a P.M. named Key
    who sucked up to McCaw, Richie
    said my flag if you’ll back
    then every man jack
    will vote for it, I’m sure you will see.

  12. Tracey 12

    A lot of aspersions were cast on Clark and her husband’s sexuality b the machinery of the Right. IF it is true that “Labour does it too”, then where are the snide and pervasive comments that Key is in fact a homosexual and Bronagh is just a cover?

    For the record, I don’t believe John Key’s marriage is not genuine. That isnt the point I am making.

  13. Reddelusion 13

    Phew, a treasure trove of over fixated little puppies above. John key certianly living in their heads rent free

  14. Reddelusion 14

    Cutting ropata, please be a bit more creative

  15. Smilin 15

    Yeah well Key has to love the all blacks probably all he can really remember about NZ cause he aint here much and hes sold or trying to obliterate most of the history he has had any part of except covering up cat shagging the economy for his own wealth, he has to live with that or he will go broke

  16. ropata 16

    more examples 🙂

    The Perfect Match #JKLovePoetry pic.twitter.com/ojLn3zxmkH— Jeremy Jones (@jeremy_pm) October 23, 2015

    • Lovely 16.1

      I will seriously consider it. I promise.

      Green Eye if you love me true- tell me about my birth Mother.

      If you open up to me, then I know you care for me.

      If you lie, I will know.

      To woo a girl you must be true.

      If you show sweetness to me you will warm my heart.

  17. ropata 17

    Another one — shame the embedded image won’t come up 🙁

    This Is Just To Say #JKLovePoetry pic.twitter.com/G471RhPnvu— CherylBernstein (@CherylBernstein) October 23, 2015

  18. ropata 18

    John Donne must be spewing over this …

    Off with that jersey, like heaven’s Zone glistering, But a far hairier world encompassing. #JKlovepoetry pic.twitter.com/JL3PkQQcCk— Donna R (@kebabette) October 23, 2015

  19. ropata 19

    NZ’s greatest poet is also in the game…

    Rugby Jesus. with every apology under the sun to James K Baxter #JKLovePoetry pic.twitter.com/E1aG0An6Co— Aunty Wah Wah (@_surlymermaid_) October 23, 2015

  20. ropata 20

    Some biting political commentary …

    The Magpies #JKLovePoetry last one, promise, as I'm straying from the kaupapa pic.twitter.com/eKhNv1aHAm— Aunty Wah Wah (@_surlymermaid_) October 23, 2015

  21. Chrissy 21

    Ah Ritchie my mate, everyone loves you
    I like the way they flock to your cause
    They worship your skill, oh yes they do
    They admire and give you constant applause

    I wish I were you Ritchie, your name is appealing
    I wish I could have some of your standing
    You’ve seen the people with which I am dealing
    They’re rednecks and lefties if I am branding

    These people are blind, they don’t understand
    They don’t like me, but I am right, you know that
    I am the one who will guide their weak hand
    I am the one for whom they should take of their hat

    Alas, I rely on your face and the popular game
    I rely on your image, your smile and looks
    To hide from the things that could bring me shame
    To keep these idiots from learning and books

    Oh Ritchie, me mate, together we will win
    We’ll use your diversions to hide our agenda
    We’ll use your appeal to hide all our sin
    The game will hide me, the money lender

    You’ll promote my flag, my face and my goals
    When people see you, they will see me too
    From this connection my popularity flows
    All of these points, I will accrue

    Ah Ritchie my mate, thank you so much
    For patting my back and shaking my hand
    Giving me kudos that no one can touch
    And making the public think I am the man

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