Prime Minister John Key today announced that he was ecstatic with his government’s performance and was “on track” to making his the most corrupt governance in New Zealand history.
“Richard Worth has done some tremendous work – lies, conflicts of interest, general disregard for his responsibilities as a minister – and he’s shown the way to some of the junior members of the government. Already we have a backbencher with a brothel in his rental property and Mellisa Lee failed to declare $1M of New Zealand On Air funds for a National Party advert. We’re also showing scant regard for parliamentary procedure and an arrogance that normally takes a government many years to develop. I couldn’t be more proud. I’m hoping that pretty soon everyone in the executive will be either taking bribes, insider-trading or embroiled in a sex scandal”
Asked about the up-coming hikoi to protest the changes to Auckland governance Mr Key said “well, it took Helen Clark years to get a hikoi – I’ve done it in just six months!”
Mr Key went on to explain his wider vision: “by the time Bill English rolls me, the party should be completely unelectable.”