Key: Govt “on track”

Written By: - Date published: 2:00 pm, May 22nd, 2009 - 6 comments
Categories: humour, national/act government - Tags:

Prime Minister John Key today announced that he was ecstatic with his government’s performance and was “on track” to making his the most corrupt governance in New Zealand history.

“Richard Worth has done some tremendous work – lies, conflicts of interest, general disregard for his responsibilities as a minister – and he’s shown the way to some of the junior members of the government. Already we have a backbencher with a brothel in his rental property and Mellisa Lee failed to declare $1M of New Zealand On Air funds for a National Party advert. We’re also showing scant regard for parliamentary procedure and an arrogance that normally takes a government many years to develop. I couldn’t be more proud. I’m hoping that pretty soon everyone in the executive will be either taking bribes, insider-trading or embroiled in a sex scandal”

Asked about the up-coming hikoi to protest the changes to Auckland governance Mr Key said “well, it took Helen Clark years to get a hikoi – I’ve done it in just six months!”

Mr Key went on to explain his wider vision: “by the time Bill English rolls me, the party should be completely unelectable.”


6 comments on “Key: Govt “on track””

  1. Pat 1

    On hearing this news, Helen Clark decided to lift the embargo on her box of secrets hidden in the parliamentary archives. “I worked bloody hard for 9 years to lift New Zealand’s governance to new levels of corruption, and there is no way I’m gonna let Key take that away from me!”

    Once produced with the evidence, Key was forced to concede he would never match Clark’s record on this.

    • felix 1.1

      Of course, the evidence of Helen Clark’s corruption. It’s only a matter of time until it all comes out in the wash.

      Then we’ll all be privy to the secrets currently held only by Pat, Redbaiter, D4J and Big Bruv.

      The enlightened ones.

      • The Sprout 1.1.1

        once the truth about who ‘leaked’ Don Brash’s emails comes out, the principle benefactor of Brash’s demise will be seen for the record breaker he’ll prove to be in 2011.

  2. NX 2

    That was so lame, I’ve decided to post this lame comment.

    This type of rubbish isn’t worth my RSS readers time. I know you don’t care if I unsubscribe , but maybe you should.

  3. that’s quite brilliant Muntgoat 🙂
    it’s almost like you’re an executive member of the National PR team, only a bit more clued-up on politics, PR, what National MPs are up to, and understanding the electorate.

    NX, truth can be painful, suggest you unsubscribe your rss feed. i think we’ll get over losing you eventually. maybe right after the hikoi and budget.

  4. Noddy (used to be Dr.No) 4

    Terrible. I suggest you leave this stuff to the Dim Post who know what they’re doing with regards satire…

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