Key tries ‘come hither’ eyes to attract jobs

Written By: - Date published: 1:37 pm, February 4th, 2011 - 98 comments
Categories: john key, unemployment - Tags: ,

PM Key says we shouldn’t lose confidence despite rising unemployment. Pledging to go ‘on the pull for jobs’, Key said he will prostitute NZ to any multi-national corporation and Kiwis should be willing to work for free. The PM was last seen smiling at himself in a mirror, muttering ‘Hey baby, wanna come back to my place and clean it for $12.75 an hour?’

Meanwhile, Minister for Unemployment Paula Bennett released the following press release:

Slow recovery fits Government focus on economy
“it’s not uncommon to see a rise the rate [sic] at this time of year and last Decemeber [sic] quarter it was 7.4% [sic],”

Leaving many to wonder whether Bennett was claiming that endless recession was all part of the government plan, whether she had heard of seasonal adjustment, and whether she mightn’t create a job by hiring a press release writer who can string together a coherent sentence with fewer than four errors.

98 comments on “Key tries ‘come hither’ eyes to attract jobs ”

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  1. Bright Red 1
    4 February 2011 at 1:47 pm

    christ he’s a dork.

  2. Blondie 2
    4 February 2011 at 1:50 pm

    Oh GOD. Is he trying to get a guest performance at the Big Gay Out?

  3. Mickysavage 3
    4 February 2011 at 2:00 pm

    I did not think it possible but Key has just gone down in my estimation.

  4. higherstandard 4
    4 February 2011 at 2:01 pm

    How about crawling across the stage on all fours while being ravaged up the backdoor – surely that’d make for better TV ?

    [Steady on there please hs. We’re all grown ups here, but even so. — r0b]

    • Kevin Welsh 4.1
      4 February 2011 at 4:21 pm

      I think you will find that is mostly the domain of the right, HS, if the USA is anything to go by.

  5. randal 5
    4 February 2011 at 2:06 pm

    so what is his favourite colour?
    this key government is getting trashier and trashier and nobody is pulling them up.
    they are running riot like boy racers on amphetamines and the emperor still has no clothes on.
    it is no good taking them on like policy analysts in the research unit.
    its time to get visceral

    • vto 5.1
      4 February 2011 at 2:17 pm

      That’s what I suggested the other day. Start ripping into him. Wind it up. Not Goff, but someone else or even some other organisation. Perhaps some Womens Refuge group over the Liz Hurley dribble for example. Hurl some mud.

  6. bobo 6
    4 February 2011 at 2:10 pm

    Looks like hes saying “you bitch” while prancing along, he is New Zealand’s very own David Brent.

    • richard 6.1
      4 February 2011 at 2:17 pm

      Yup, very Brentian. Get’s worse every time you look at it. The sort of thing the media would usually slay you for……..if they weren’t too busy kissing your arse.

    • Rharn 6.2
      5 February 2011 at 11:54 am

      Could be saying “I’m smashed.”

  7. vto 7
    4 February 2011 at 2:15 pm

    That is not a good look for NZ’s PM imo.

    Mind you, Clark did a wearable arts thingy. But she did pull it off pretty well. Very different to Key’s approach here.

  8. pollywog 8
    4 February 2011 at 2:25 pm

    Dude thinks he’s liz hurley fantasizing about john key having a 3 some with shane warne…

    …how embarassing for us all

  9. Colonial Viper 9
    4 February 2011 at 3:02 pm

    Thanks so much Zetetic. Now I’ve messed up my keyboard coz my eyeballs started bleeding.

    • Tel 9.1
      4 February 2011 at 3:22 pm

      That’s unexpected Viper, especially considering all the effort they went to to tape down Key’s man-breasts.

  10. kriswgtn 10
    4 February 2011 at 3:15 pm

    Hes got manboobs
    Hell my eyes are bleeding

    Hell he loves himself

    This is so sad

  11. Deadly_NZ 11
    4 February 2011 at 3:18 pm

    Oh god now I have to clean my keyboard was quietly drinking coffee. when up pops old Smiley Wavey mincing down a runway , coffee now all over keyboard and screen.

  12. BLiP 12
    4 February 2011 at 3:23 pm

    Okay – let me see if I’ve got this right: John Key is internationally recognised as a racist, and a sexist and now, by the look of his exaggerated mincing down the catwalk, getting close to homophobic . . . and New Zealanders *still* love him to bits!!

    What have we become?

  13. ianmac 13
    4 February 2011 at 3:33 pm

    Remember when MSM kept on re-running the two Labour MPs would joined in with the wild dancing shots, even when the event was years old? Or the re-run of Helen Tripping over in the Mall? Wonder if anyone is clever enough to make a You Tube compilation of Key mincing as above, Key at Letterman, Key voice over about those hottest chicks, Transrail eyes, and so on?

  14. Craig Glen Eden 14
    4 February 2011 at 4:17 pm

    John Key made his second major announce of the week with the launch a new National Party branch called the light blues, John said it was the perfect time to launch this branch given recent criticism of his over macho behaviour on radio sport. “I really want people to see my other side said John why should Labour’s Rainbow branch have all the fun? We are fun to with our light blues just ask Inga and Jonesy.

    Anti spam word ‘incident’. Yup

    • Tel 14.1
      4 February 2011 at 4:23 pm

      I understand they had to ditch all the artwork for the Black and Blues, because Key had not told the youth branch he was going on radio with Veitch.

      Anti-spam word: Painful. Yep

      • Jum 14.1.1
        4 February 2011 at 8:46 pm

        ‘black and blues’? Doesn’t that skin pigment come after the Rugby Cup loss/win/whatever?

    • bobo 14.2
      4 February 2011 at 5:24 pm

      Anchor fresh light blue top – tastes like watered down milk..

  15. Kevin Welsh 15
    4 February 2011 at 4:27 pm

    What the fuck does he think he is doing?

    Some pseudo-mincing walking is hardly what I would expect a male model to do on the catwalk. For that the uber-cool and sophisticated stroll is required.

    Maybe he does a bit of cross-dressing in the privacy of his own bedroom?

  16. Sean 16
    4 February 2011 at 4:36 pm

    Just to be clear. I’m not watching a New Zealand version of the Office am I? This is actually what a Prime Minister looks like?

  17. Tanz 17
    4 February 2011 at 4:54 pm

    Oh, he so loves the limelight, and the limelight loves him. You’d think he was a movie star, not a dry old politician. This is why he will stay PM for as long as he wants, whether he’s any good at it, or not. The MSM adore him, and so do the folk out there. Talk about a very long Honeymoon! Helensville next?

    • Jum 17.1
      4 February 2011 at 8:53 pm

      And that’s what’s so sad, Tanz. Sad and prophetic; we are looking at NZ’s future as a cheap stop for the wealthy to amuse themselves with. Great pics for youth.

      Youth: this is what you are being raised for. Everything your parents told you about serious study and applying yourself to reach the top. The top apparently is … JKeyll and Hide – hide the money and spread the idiocy.

      I begin to understand why Universities are being downplayed as intellectual learning institutions. All you need there now are Q cards.

      And people like you, Tanz, will be raking in the dough, which is why you’re playing JKeyll’s stooge on here.

      • Tanz 17.1.1
        4 February 2011 at 9:37 pm

        I’ve never ‘raked in the dough”, actually, and I do not support Key in any way, shape, or form. I am a National supporter (or was), but I will never vote for John Key, as I want a PM who wants to be a PM, not a frigging popstar. You have me all wrong, completely. And I don’t go to university, been there, done that (kind of!)

        I am of Key’s generation, believe it or not, but not his outrageous fortune! Whatever. You don’t even know me at all. We are all swing voters, pretty much, these days.

        • Jum 17.1.1.1
          4 February 2011 at 9:54 pm

          Thank you Tanz.

          If there are so many swing voters, maybe there is a chance people haven’t been taken in by Key’s love-in.

        • lprent 17.1.1.2
          4 February 2011 at 11:02 pm

          It’s an agree to disagree forum and I find your comments don’t trigger my moderating instincts. I merely disagree with you most of the time 🙁

  18. Jessica Parsons 18
    4 February 2011 at 5:12 pm

    John Key does more brilliant distraction from the real issues of the day and the media eats it up…

    • Tanz 18.1
      4 February 2011 at 7:48 pm

      The MSM are besotted, arn’t they? Don Brash was treated like poison, Key is treated like honey. Quite sickening really, it must be hard for the other maverick National MP’s. Talk about in the shade! So Paris HIlton!

  19. jbanks 19
    4 February 2011 at 5:32 pm

    [lprent: banned for trolling]

    • Draco T Bastard 19.1
      4 February 2011 at 5:47 pm

      Studies show that increasing the minimum wage is usually accompanied with an increase in employment. These studies have been linked on this sight before (in fact I think some of them were even directed at you) so I won’t bother linking them again.

      It’s you, and the other RWNJs, that live in delusion.

      • jbanks 19.1.1
        4 February 2011 at 5:55 pm

        [lprent: banned for trolling]

        • BLiP 19.1.1.1
          4 February 2011 at 6:01 pm

          Yet more bile spilling over from flimsy beliefs. Put it this way, its quite simple so you *might* get it: if someone can’t afford to pay employees a living wage, they shouldn’t be in business.

  20. Bill 20
    4 February 2011 at 5:32 pm

    From watching the full clip on TVNZ, looked to me that he was aware he would make a tit of himself and then went ahead and made a tit of himself. Which plays far better than some politicians who have made tits of themselves trying to appear cool.

  21. Anne 21
    4 February 2011 at 5:42 pm

    I can’t even imagine the response of the MSM if it had been Goff mincing along the cat-walk like that. OMG… the MSM anguish! He would have been hounded out of the country!

  22. QoT 22
    4 February 2011 at 5:48 pm

    Can’t
    stop
    staring …

  23. Irascible 23
    4 February 2011 at 6:00 pm

    When this clip came up my overseas friends immediately asked “Who’s that dork?” When told it was the NZ PM their response was one of amazement as they expect their PMs to act with an air of responsibility and decorum.
    Mind you this image should become a key one in any political advertising this year with the big question – Do YOU want YOUR country to be represented by THIS and like this?

    • pollywog 23.1
      4 February 2011 at 6:48 pm

      Russia gets Putin swanning around shirtless, killing grizzly bears with his bare hands as they hunt in freezing cold lakes…

      …we get this shameless twatcock

      • bobo 23.1.1
        4 February 2011 at 7:27 pm

        don’t go giving Key ideas, next hell be going all butch out in the wilderness in tight swan-dry shorty shorts.

      • Olwyn 23.1.2
        4 February 2011 at 7:41 pm

        Pollywog: LOL. We need a “like” button here.

        • Lanthanide 23.1.2.1
          4 February 2011 at 7:53 pm

          Actually yeah, that would be a nice feature. Any chance of it lprent – like buttons for comments so we can up-mod them?

          • Pascal's bookie 23.1.2.1.1
            4 February 2011 at 8:25 pm

            aargh! pet hate.

            Only if discussing,
            complaining about,
            crying about,
            skiting about,
            or generally playing to the audience due to,

            said button

            is a lifetime ban.

      • QoT 23.1.3
        4 February 2011 at 10:23 pm

        Mmmmmm delicious Putin nom nom nom. /male objectification

  24. Craig Glen Eden 24
    4 February 2011 at 6:09 pm

    So i guess Key will now be known as smile and winch..

    • kriswgtn 24.1
      4 February 2011 at 7:52 pm

      Nah
      smile and mince
      hahhaha fuk this is so fukd up

      • Craig Glen Eden 24.1.1
        4 February 2011 at 9:02 pm

        I actually meant mince but wrote winch ha. Yeah this would be absolutely hilarious if this idiot wasnt wrecking the country while he does his (I don’t care what I do as long as Im in the news gig).

        Maybe we could get Radar to take him on tour with him for a few years, I know it would be tough on Radar but duty to the country and all that.

        If you want really f—-ed up check out Hekia Paratas bye-election video staring Paula Bennett the election slogan queen, for really really wanna be cool. Im sure young Labour could do something pretty good with this stuff.

        • mickysavage 24.1.1.1
          4 February 2011 at 9:16 pm

          “Winch” seems very appropriate!

          • Craig Glen Eden 24.1.1.1.1
            4 February 2011 at 10:24 pm

            What next aye Mickey, shit you couldn’t sit down and dream of getting such good material on a PM. I reckon it really does deserve a video collage of all his stuff, then follow it up with all the verbal illiterate shit from Paula Benefit.

  25. BLiP 25
    4 February 2011 at 6:20 pm

    JBanks said:

    You can’t honestly deny that NZ’s small business owners don’t believe that increasing their costs will help them employ more.

    I know education scares you and knowledge threatens to upset your delicate belief system so I’ll keep this simple – here’s what a small business owner told me when he took on a couple of extra staff and gave the rest of his crew a raise: “happy staff work harder, gotta spend money to make money”. Its about “investment” – I’m sure that’s one of the two-dozen three-syllable words you don’t have to look up.

    [lprent: He obviously didn’t have anything to say that was even up to his usual low standard today. He did a trolling spree and caught the consequences. I also deleted the content of all of his messages today. Couldn’t find one that wasn’t designed to be just a flamewar starter. He’d only just come off a ban…. ]

    • BLiP 25.1
      4 February 2011 at 6:28 pm

      Yeah – noticed that. It was an awful lot of shit comments in a very short space of time. I should have seen it and not engaged – good work lprent, thanks.

  26. kriswgtn 26
    4 February 2011 at 7:50 pm

    He been watchin far too much of Americas next model

    I grabbed this (hope ya dont mind) and am gonna plaster it everywhere I can LOL

  27. Jum 27
    4 February 2011 at 8:24 pm

    We have Prime Ministers to represent us. So from this current flick, the gay guys are covered, the fashion chicks are covered, the people who don’t mind the current leader of our entire country acting like a doughboy are covered. Frankly though, if this is what NZers really go for, I’ve gotta say, why am I bothering?

    What happened to the economy? Oh yes we have English, the perks rorter.
    What happened to social welfare? Oh yes we have Bennett, the permanent welfare beneficiary; there’s no room for other needy people by the time she’s paid out the farmers, the investors, English…
    What happened to health? Oh yes we have Ryall, the death to all front line staff, esp. women, and the death to pay equity, for women.
    What happened to water? Oh yes we have Carter, the great farmer’s fixer, but death to Doc land saving for our children – that’s gone.
    What happened to education? Oh yes we have Tolley, the standards enforcer, the provider of funding to private schools (whisper…brother in law principal of private school – true?) but no standards in private schools – that says a lot for a start!
    What happened to law and order? Oh yes we have Collins, pimp for prisons, devotee to authoritarianism as long as she’s holding the whip, and is the love-interest of ‘her boys’.
    What happened to our assets? Oh yes we have Hide, the perk buster/rorter, unsure whether he wants to sell off our assets this year or next year when amended legislation allows him to. I know says Hide; I’ll find JKeyll and ask him. He’s already sold off farm land. He’s not doing anything else – except selling out Kiwis, but they don’t seem to care.

    JKeyll’s my other half says Hide. And this is my kinda country, full of innocents with Alzheimers.

  28. Puddleglum 28
    4 February 2011 at 10:54 pm

    It’s going to take quite a few weekly interviews with Tony Veitch to sluice this down the memory hole.

    Having said that, it does keep playing into that “I’m so popular I can get away with anything” pitch.To date, he’s been right. It almost becomes evidence of his popularity. The discursive atmosphere can do funny things – turn, as Bill noted, ‘being a tit’ into being ‘one of the guys’. Lots of Kiwi blokes, after all, do this kind of mock mincing (after a few beers).

    • orange whip? 28.1
      4 February 2011 at 11:31 pm

      Most of them aren’t quite so convincing though.

      • Puddleglum 28.1.1
        4 February 2011 at 11:39 pm

        Key courting celebrity.

        Just a thought – ever noticed how the media treat celebrities? All positive hype, all positive hype, all positive hype – then, the backlash. Has Key started his popularity run too early? Modern (tabloid) journalism needs good stories – the fall is as good as the rise.

        Key has been on the radio almost every day. Why? That strategy doesn’t sound to me like confidence.

  29. M 29
    4 February 2011 at 11:20 pm

    Let’s see:

    Shocking diction
    Washing machine walk
    “I’m too sexy for this shirt” ‘tude
    Wristband du jour
    I’m loan sharking NZ
    “I want to shag Liz ‘cause Bronagh’s a hobbit”

    Oh Johnny, I want to have your love child – NOT.

  30. M 30
    4 February 2011 at 11:21 pm

    National launches its new crime aversion video for murderers.

  31. SPC 31
    4 February 2011 at 11:34 pm

    Farrar’s been advising him about how the top models walk.

  32. SPC 32
    4 February 2011 at 11:41 pm

    They should be borrowing and financing the building of homes in Auckland. There is a looking housing shortage there and builders not currently working.

    The cost of the borrowing is less than the increased revenue to government (increased company tax, increased GST and income tax from wages) from the increased economic activity and the housing can be sold when built to pay back debt. This resolves a looming problem and reduces the budget deficit at the same time.

    Don’t they understand this is much smarter infrastructure spend during a recession than building roads that cannot be sold to pay back debt (especially in a global credit rating debt squeeze on national debt levels).

  33. Puddleglum 33
    4 February 2011 at 11:47 pm

    Key courting celebrity.

    Just a thought – ever noticed how the media treat celebrities? All positive hype, all positive hype, all positive hype – then, the backlash. Has Key started his popularity run too early? Modern (tabloid) journalism needs good stories – the fall is as good as the rise.

    Key has been on radio almost every day. Why? That doesn’t seem like an expression of supreme confidence to me.

  34. Locus 34
    5 February 2011 at 8:00 am

    only just seen this.. lol
    c’mon let’s all do the shonkey shuffle

  35. Rharn 35
    5 February 2011 at 11:49 am

    The full length clip from YouTube
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBmP3-Y6qZ8

    Words fail

  36. Terry 36
    6 February 2011 at 12:39 am

    Seriously, we have some real major problems unraveling in this country at the moment and to see our Prime Minister mincing it down a cat walk like some teenage goof ball is to my mind disgusting. Goff needs to tear into the bugger and start knocking him down a peg or two.

  37. murray 37
    7 February 2011 at 12:44 pm

    Lighten up people.
    Who the hell really cares. Where has your sense of humour gone?
    This all seems to have the same sense of bitterness over the withdrawl of the Air NZ gay steward ad. Get over it.

  38. murray 38
    7 February 2011 at 12:49 pm

    If Goff and his gang are the answer to NZs problems then God help us. I have never been a Nat but have seen what Labor does to the economy on both sides of the Tasman over many years. Its just spend, spend , spend and attempt to satisfy the various factions. Yes, as a gay man, and with a strong sense of social injustice I should be totally Labor. But just like the Nats they are not deserving of total trust.

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    David FarrierBy David Farrier
    2 days ago
  • Not a story

    Yesterday I happily quoted the Prime Minister without fact-checking him and sure enough, it turns out his numbers were all to hell. It’s not four kg of Royal Commission report, it’s fourteen.My friend and one-time colleague-in-comms Hazel Phillips gently alerted me to my error almost as soon as I’d hit ...
    More Than A FeildingBy David Slack
    2 days ago
  • The Kākā’s Journal of Record for Thursday, July 25

    TL;DR: As of 6:00 am on Thursday, July 25, the top six announcements, speeches, reports and research around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day were:The Abuse in Care Royal Commission of Inquiry published its final report yesterday.PM Christopher Luxon and The Minister responsible for ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    2 days ago
  • A tougher line on “proactive release”?

    The Official Information Act has always been a battle between requesters seeking information, and governments seeking to control it. Information is power, so Ministers and government agencies want to manage what is released and when, for their own convenience, and legality and democracy be damned. Their most recent tactic for ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    3 days ago
  • 'Let's build a motorway costing $100 million per km, before emissions costs'

    TL;DR: The top six things I’ve noted around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy today are:Transport and Energy Minister Simeon Brown is accelerating plans to spend at least $10 billion through Public Private Partnerships (PPPs) to extend State Highway One as a four-lane ‘Expressway’ from Warkworth to Whangarei ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    3 days ago
  • Lester's Prescription – Positive Bleeding.

    I live my life (woo-ooh-ooh)With no control in my destinyYea-yeah, yea-yeah (woo-ooh-ooh)I can bleed when I want to bleedSo come on, come on (woo-ooh-ooh)You can bleed when you want to bleedYea-yeah, come on (woo-ooh-ooh)Everybody bleed when they want to bleedCome on and bleedGovernments face tough challenges. Selling unpopular decisions to ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    3 days ago
  • Casey Costello gaslights Labour in the House

    Please note:To skip directly to the- parliamentary footage in the video, scroll to 1:21 To skip to audio please click on the headphone icon on the left hand side of the screenThis video / audio section is under development. ...
    Mountain TuiBy Mountain Tui
    3 days ago
  • Why is the Texas grid in such bad shape?

    This is a re-post from the Climate Brink by Andrew Dessler Headline from 2021 The Texas grid, run by ERCOT, has had a rough few years. In 2021, winter storm Uri blacked out much of the state for several days. About a week ago, Hurricane Beryl knocked out ...
    Skeptical Science
    3 days ago
  • Gordon Campbell on a textbook case of spending waste by the Luxon government

    Given the crackdown on wasteful government spending, it behooves me to point to a high profile example of spending by the Luxon government that looks like a big, fat waste of time and money. I’m talking about the deployment of NZDF personnel to support the US-led coalition in the Red ...
    WerewolfBy lyndon
    3 days ago
  • The Kākā’s Pick 'n' Mix for Wednesday, July 24

    TL;DR: My pick of the top six links elsewhere around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day or so to 7:40 am on Wednesday, July 24 are:Deep Dive: Chipping away at the housing crisis, including my comments RNZ/Newsroom’s The DetailNews: Government softens on asset sales, ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    3 days ago
  • LXR Takaanini

    As I reported about the city centre, Auckland’s rail network is also going through a difficult and disruptive period which is rapidly approaching a culmination, this will result in a significant upgrade to the whole network. Hallelujah. Also like the city centre this is an upgrade predicated on the City ...
    Greater AucklandBy Patrick Reynolds
    3 days ago
  • Four kilograms of pain

    Today, a 4 kilogram report will be delivered to Parliament. We know this is what the report of the Royal Commission of Inquiry into Abuse in State and Faith-based Care weighs, because our Prime Minister told us so.Some reporter had blindsided him by asking a question about something done by ...
    More Than A FeildingBy David Slack
    3 days ago
  • The Kākā’s Journal of Record for Wednesday, July 24

    TL;DR: As of 7:00 am on Wednesday, July 24, the top six announcements, speeches, reports and research around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day are:Beehive: Transport Minister Simeon Brown announced plans to use PPPs to fund, build and run a four-lane expressway between Auckland ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    3 days ago
  • Luxon gets caught out

    NewstalkZB host Mike Hosking, who can usually be relied on to give Prime Minister Christopher Luxon an easy run, did not do so yesterday when he interviewed him about the HealthNZ deficit. Luxon is trying to use a deficit reported last year by HealthNZ as yet another example of the ...
    PolitikBy Richard Harman
    3 days ago
  • A worrying sign

    Back in January a StatsNZ employee gave a speech at Rātana on behalf of tangata whenua in which he insulted and criticised the government. The speech clearly violated the principle of a neutral public service, and StatsNZ started an investigation. Part of that was getting an external consultant to examine ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    4 days ago
  • Are we fine with 47.9% home-ownership by 2048?

    Renting for life: Shared ownership initiatives are unlikely to slow the slide in home ownership by much. Photo: Lynn Grieveson / The KākāTL;DR: The top six things I’ve noted around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy today are:A Deloitte report for Westpac has projected Aotearoa’s home-ownership rate will ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    4 days ago
  • Let's Win This

    You're broken down and tiredOf living life on a merry go roundAnd you can't find the fighterBut I see it in you so we gonna walk it outAnd move mountainsWe gonna walk it outAnd move mountainsAnd I'll rise upI'll rise like the dayI'll rise upI'll rise unafraidI'll rise upAnd I'll ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    4 days ago
  • Waimahara: The Singing Spirit of Water

    There’s been a change in Myers Park. Down the steps from St. Kevin’s Arcade, past the grassy slopes, the children’s playground, the benches and that goat statue, there has been a transformation. The underpass for Mayoral Drive has gone from a barren, grey, concrete tunnel, to a place that thrums ...
    Greater AucklandBy Connor Sharp
    4 days ago
  • A major milestone: Global climate pollution may have just peaked

    This is a re-post from Yale Climate Connections Global society may have finally slammed on the brakes for climate-warming pollution released by human fossil fuel combustion. According to the Carbon Monitor Project, the total global climate pollution released between February and May 2024 declined slightly from the amount released during the same ...
    Skeptical Science
    4 days ago
  • The Kākā’s Pick 'n' Mix for Tuesday, July 23

    TL;DR: My pick of the top six links elsewhere around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day or so to 7:00 am on Tuesday, July 23 are:Deep Dive: Penlink: where tolling rhetoric meets reality BusinessDesk-$$$’s Oliver LewisScoop: Te Pūkenga plans for regional polytechs leak out ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    4 days ago
  • The Kākā’s Journal of Record for Tuesday, July 23

    TL;DR: As of 6:00 am on Tuesday, July 23, the top six announcements, speeches, reports and research around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day are:Health: Shane Reti announced the Board of Te Whatu Ora- Health New Zealand was being replaced with Commissioner Lester Levy ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    4 days ago
  • HealthNZ and Luxon at cross purposes over budget blowout

    Health NZ warned the Government at the end of March that it was running over Budget. But the reasons it gave were very different to those offered by the Prime Minister yesterday. Prime Minister Christopher Luxon blamed the “botched merger” of the 20 District Health Boards (DHBs) to create Health ...
    PolitikBy Richard Harman
    4 days ago
  • 2500-3000 more healthcare staff expected to be fired, as Shane Reti blames Labour for a budget defic...

    Long ReadKey Summary: Although National increased the health budget by $1.4 billion in May, they used an old funding model to project health system costs, and never bothered to update their pre-election numbers. They were told during the Health Select Committees earlier in the year their budget amount was deficient, ...
    Mountain TuiBy Mountain Tui
    4 days ago
  • Might Kamala Harris be about to get a 'stardust' moment like Jacinda Ardern?

    As a momentous, historic weekend in US politics unfolded, analysts and commentators grasped for precedents and comparisons to help explain the significance and power of the choice Joe Biden had made. The 46th president had swept the Democratic party’s primaries but just over 100 days from the election had chosen ...
    PunditBy Tim Watkin
    5 days ago
  • Solutions Interview: Steven Hail on MMT & ecological economics

    TL;DR: I’m casting around for new ideas and ways of thinking about Aotearoa’s political economy to find a few solutions to our cascading and self-reinforcing housing, poverty and climate crises.Associate Professor runs an online masters degree in the economics of sustainability at Torrens University in Australia and is organising ...
    The KakaBy Steven Hail
    5 days ago
  • Reported back

    The Finance and Expenditure Committee has reported back on National's Local Government (Water Services Preliminary Arrangements) Bill. The bill sets up water for privatisation, and was introduced under urgency, then rammed through select committee with no time even for local councils to make a proper submission. Naturally, national's select committee ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    5 days ago
  • Vandrad the Viking, Christopher Coombes, and Literary Archaeology

    Some years ago, I bought a book at Dunedin’s Regent Booksale for $1.50. As one does. Vandrad the Viking (1898), by J. Storer Clouston, is an obscure book these days – I cannot find a proper online review – but soon it was sitting on my shelf, gathering dust alongside ...
    A Phuulish FellowBy strda221
    5 days ago
  • Gordon Campbell On The Biden Withdrawal

    History is not on the side of the centre-left, when Democratic presidents fall behind in the polls and choose not to run for re-election. On both previous occasions in the past 75 years (Harry Truman in 1952, Lyndon Johnson in 1968) the Democrats proceeded to then lose the White House ...
    WerewolfBy lyndon
    5 days ago
  • Joe Biden's withdrawal puts the spotlight back on Kamala and the USA's complicated relatio...

    This is a free articleCoverageThis morning, US President Joe Biden announced his withdrawal from the Presidential race. And that is genuinely newsworthy. Thanks for your service, President Biden, and all the best to you and yours.However, the media in New Zealand, particularly the 1News nightly bulletin, has been breathlessly covering ...
    Mountain TuiBy Mountain Tui
    5 days ago
  • Why we have to challenge our national fiscal assumptions

    A homeless person’s camp beside a blocked-off slipped damage walkway in Freeman’s Bay: we are chasing our tail on our worsening and inter-related housing, poverty and climate crises. Photo: Photo: Lynn Grieveson / The KākāTL;DR: The top six things I’ve noted around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    5 days ago
  • Existential Crisis and Damaged Brains

    What has happened to it all?Crazy, some'd sayWhere is the life that I recognise?(Gone away)But I won't cry for yesterdayThere's an ordinary worldSomehow I have to findAnd as I try to make my wayTo the ordinary worldYesterday morning began as many others - what to write about today? I began ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    5 days ago
  • A speed limit is not a target, and yet…

    This is a guest post from longtime supporter Mr Plod, whose previous contributions include a proposal that Hamilton become New Zealand’s capital city, and that we should switch which side of the road we drive on. A recent Newsroom article, “Back to school for the Govt’s new speed limit policy“, ...
    Greater AucklandBy Guest Post
    5 days ago
  • The Kākā’s Pick 'n' Mix for Monday, July 22

    TL;DR: My pick of the top six links elsewhere around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day or so to 7:00 am on Monday, July 22 are:Today’s Must Read: Father and son live in a tent, and have done for four years, in a million ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    5 days ago
  • The Kākā’s Journal of Record for Monday, July 22

    TL;DR: As of 7:00 am on Monday, July 22, the top six announcements, speeches, reports and research around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day are:US President Joe Biden announced via X this morning he would not stand for a second term.Multinational professional services firm ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    5 days ago
  • 2024 SkS Weekly Climate Change & Global Warming News Roundup #29

    A listing of 32 news and opinion articles we found interesting and shared on social media during the past week: Sun, July 14, 2024 thru Sat, July 20, 2024. Story of the week As reflected by preponderance of coverage, our Story of the Week is Project 2025. Until now traveling ...
    Skeptical Science
    6 days ago
  • I'd like to share what I did this weekend

    This weekend, a friend pointed out someone who said they’d like to read my posts, but didn’t want to pay. And my first reaction was sympathy.I’ve already told folks that if they can’t comfortably subscribe, and would like to read, I’d be happy to offer free subscriptions. I don’t want ...
    Mountain TuiBy Mountain Tui
    6 days ago
  • For the children – Why mere sentiment can be a misleading force in our lives, and lead to unex...

    National: The Party of ‘Law and Order’ IntroductionThis weekend, the Government formally kicked off one of their flagship policy programs: a military style boot camp that New Zealand has experimented with over the past 50 years. Cartoon credit: Guy BodyIt’s very popular with the National Party’s Law and Order image, ...
    Mountain TuiBy Mountain Tui
    6 days ago
  • A friend in uncertain times

    Day one of the solo leg of my long journey home begins with my favourite sound: footfalls in an empty street. 5.00 am and it’s already light and already too warm, almost.If I can make the train that leaves Budapest later this hour I could be in Belgrade by nightfall; ...
    More Than A FeildingBy David Slack
    6 days ago
  • The Chaotic World of Male Diet Influencers

    Hi,We’ll get to the horrific world of male diet influencers (AKA Beefy Boys) shortly, but first you will be glad to know that since I sent out the Webworm explaining why the assassination attempt on Donald Trump was not a false flag operation, I’ve heard from a load of people ...
    David FarrierBy David Farrier
    6 days ago
  • It's Starting To Look A Lot Like… Y2K

    Do you remember Y2K, the threat that hung over humanity in the closing days of the twentieth century? Horror scenarios of planes falling from the sky, electronic payments failing and ATMs refusing to dispense cash. As for your VCR following instructions and recording your favourite show - forget about it.All ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    1 week ago
  • Bernard’s Saturday Soliloquy for the week to July 20

    Climate Change Minister Simon Watts being questioned by The Kākā’s Bernard Hickey.TL;DR: My top six things to note around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the week to July 20 were:1. A strategy that fails Zero Carbon Act & Paris targetsThe National-ACT-NZ First Coalition Government finally unveiled ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    1 week ago
  • Pharmac Director, Climate Change Commissioner, Health NZ Directors – The latest to quit this m...

    Summary:As New Zealand loses at least 12 leaders in the public service space of health, climate, and pharmaceuticals, this month alone, directly in response to the Government’s policies and budget choices, what lies ahead may be darker than it appears. Tui examines some of those departures and draws a long ...
    Mountain TuiBy Mountain Tui
    1 week ago
  • Flooding Housing Policy

    The Minister of Housing’s ambition is to reduce markedly the ratio of house prices to household incomes. If his strategy works it would transform the housing market, dramatically changing the prospects of housing as an investment.Leaving aside the Minister’s metaphor of ‘flooding the market’ I do not see how the ...
    PunditBy Brian Easton
    1 week ago
  • A Voyage Among the Vandals: Accepted (Again!)

    As previously noted, my historical fantasy piece, set in the fifth-century Mediterranean, was accepted for a Pirate Horror anthology, only for the anthology to later fall through. But in a good bit of news, it turned out that the story could indeed be re-marketed as sword and sorcery. As of ...
    A Phuulish FellowBy strda221
    1 week ago
  • The Kākā's Chorus for Friday, July 19

    An employee of tobacco company Philip Morris International demonstrates a heated tobacco device. Photo: Getty ImagesTL;DR: The top six things I’ve noted around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy on Friday, July 19 are:At a time when the Coalition Government is cutting spending on health, infrastructure, education, housing ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    1 week ago
  • The Kākā’s Pick 'n' Mix for Friday, July 19

    TL;DR: My pick of the top six links elsewhere around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day or so to 8:30 am on Friday, July 19 are:Scoop: NZ First Minister Casey Costello orders 50% cut to excise tax on heated tobacco products. The minister has ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    1 week ago
  • Weekly Roundup 19-July-2024

    Kia ora, it’s time for another Friday roundup, in which we pull together some of the links and stories that caught our eye this week. Feel free to add more in the comments! Our header image this week shows a foggy day in Auckland town, captured by Patrick Reynolds. ...
    Greater AucklandBy Greater Auckland
    1 week ago
  • Weekly Climate Wrap: A market-led plan for failure

    TL;DR : Here’s the top six items climate news for Aotearoa this week, as selected by Bernard Hickey and The Kākā’s climate correspondent Cathrine Dyer. A discussion recorded yesterday is in the video above and the audio of that sent onto the podcast feed.The Government released its draft Emissions Reduction ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    1 week ago
  • Tobacco First

    Save some money, get rich and old, bring it back to Tobacco Road.Bring that dynamite and a crane, blow it up, start all over again.Roll up. Roll up. Or tailor made, if you prefer...Whether you’re selling ciggies, digging for gold, catching dolphins in your nets, or encouraging folks to flutter ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    1 week ago
  • Trump’s Adopted Son.

    Waiting In The Wings: For truly, if Trump is America’s un-assassinated Caesar, then J.D. Vance is America’s Octavian, the Republic’s youthful undertaker – and its first Emperor.DONALD TRUMP’S SELECTION of James D. Vance as his running-mate bodes ill for the American republic. A fervent supporter of Viktor Orban, the “illiberal” prime ...
    Bowalley Road
    1 week ago
  • The Kākā’s Journal of Record for Friday, July 19

    TL;DR: As of 6:00 am on Friday, July 19, the top six announcements, speeches, reports and research around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day are:The PSA announced the Employment Relations Authority (ERA) had ruled in the PSA’s favour in its case against the Ministry ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    1 week ago

  • Joint statement from the Prime Ministers of Canada, Australia and New Zealand

    Australia, Canada and New Zealand today issued the following statement on the need for an urgent ceasefire in Gaza and the risk of expanded conflict between Hizballah and Israel. The situation in Gaza is catastrophic. The human suffering is unacceptable. It cannot continue.  We remain unequivocal in our condemnation of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    18 hours ago
  • AG reminds institutions of legal obligations

    Attorney-General Judith Collins today reminded all State and faith-based institutions of their legal obligation to preserve records relevant to the safety and wellbeing of those in its care. “The Abuse in Care Inquiry’s report has found cases where records of the most vulnerable people in State and faith‑based institutions were ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    21 hours ago
  • More young people learning about digital safety

    Minister of Internal Affairs Brooke van Velden says the Government’s online safety website for children and young people has reached one million page views.  “It is great to see so many young people and their families accessing the site Keep It Real Online to learn how to stay safe online, and manage ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    21 hours ago
  • Speech to the Conference for General Practice 2024

    Tēnā tātou katoa,  Ngā mihi te rangi, ngā mihi te whenua, ngā mihi ki a koutou, kia ora mai koutou. Thank you for the opportunity to be here and the invitation to speak at this 50th anniversary conference. I acknowledge all those who have gone before us and paved the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    23 hours ago
  • Employers and payroll providers ready for tax changes

    New Zealand’s payroll providers have successfully prepared to ensure 3.5 million individuals will, from Wednesday next week, be able to keep more of what they earn each pay, says Finance Minister Nicola Willis and Revenue Minister Simon Watts.  “The Government's tax policy changes are legally effective from Wednesday. Delivering this tax ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Experimental vineyard futureproofs wine industry

    An experimental vineyard which will help futureproof the wine sector has been opened in Blenheim by Associate Regional Development Minister Mark Patterson. The covered vineyard, based at the New Zealand Wine Centre – Te Pokapū Wāina o Aotearoa, enables controlled environmental conditions. “The research that will be produced at the Experimental ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Funding confirmed for regions affected by North Island Weather Events

    The Coalition Government has confirmed the indicative regional breakdown of North Island Weather Event (NIWE) funding for state highway recovery projects funded through Budget 2024, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. “Regions in the North Island suffered extensive and devastating damage from Cyclone Gabrielle and the 2023 Auckland Anniversary Floods, and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Indonesian Foreign Minister to visit

    Indonesia’s Foreign Minister, Retno Marsudi, will visit New Zealand next week, Foreign Minister Winston Peters has announced.   “Indonesia is important to New Zealand’s security and economic interests and is our closest South East Asian neighbour,” says Mr Peters, who is currently in Laos to engage with South East Asian partners. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Strengthening partnership with Ngāti Maniapoto

    He aha te kai a te rangatira? He kōrero, he kōrero, he kōrero. The government has reaffirmed its commitment to supporting the aspirations of Ngāti Maniapoto, Minister for Māori Development Tama Potaka says. “My thanks to Te Nehenehenui Trust – Ngāti Maniapoto for bringing their important kōrero to a ministerial ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Transport Minister thanks outgoing CAA Chair

    Transport Minister Simeon Brown has thanked outgoing Chair of the Civil Aviation Authority, Janice Fredric, for her service to the board.“I have received Ms Fredric’s resignation from the role of Chair of the Civil Aviation Authority,” Mr Brown says.“On behalf of the Government, I want to thank Ms Fredric for ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Test for Customary Marine Title being restored

    The Government is proposing legislation to overturn a Court of Appeal decision and amend the Marine and Coastal Area Act in order to restore Parliament’s test for Customary Marine Title, Treaty Negotiations Minister Paul Goldsmith says.  “Section 58 required an applicant group to prove they have exclusively used and occupied ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Opposition united in bad faith over ECE sector review

    Regulation Minister David Seymour says that opposition parties have united in bad faith, opposing what they claim are ‘dangerous changes’ to the Early Childhood Education sector, despite no changes even being proposed yet.  “Issues with affordability and availability of early childhood education, and the complexity of its regulation, has led ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Kiwis having their say on first regulatory review

    After receiving more than 740 submissions in the first 20 days, Regulation Minister David Seymour is asking the Ministry for Regulation to extend engagement on the early childhood education regulation review by an extra two weeks.  “The level of interest has been very high, and from the conversations I’ve been ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Government upgrading Lower North Island commuter rail

    The Coalition Government is investing $802.9 million into the Wairarapa and Manawatū rail lines as part of a funding agreement with the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA), KiwiRail, and the Greater Wellington and Horizons Regional Councils to deliver more reliable services for commuters in the lower North Island, Transport Minister Simeon ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Government moves to ensure flood protection for Wairoa

    Local Government Minister Simeon Brown has announced his intention to appoint a Crown Manager to both Hawke’s Bay Regional and Wairoa District Councils to speed up the delivery of flood protection work in Wairoa."Recent severe weather events in Wairoa this year, combined with damage from Cyclone Gabrielle in 2023 have ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • PM speech to Parliament – Royal Commission of Inquiry’s Report into Abuse in Care

    Mr Speaker, this is a day that many New Zealanders who were abused in State care never thought would come. It’s the day that this Parliament accepts, with deep sorrow and regret, the Report of the Royal Commission of Inquiry into Abuse in Care.  At the heart of this report are the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Government acknowledges torture at Lake Alice

    For the first time, the Government is formally acknowledging some children and young people at Lake Alice Psychiatric Hospital experienced torture. The final report of the Royal Commission of Inquiry into Abuse in State and Faith-based Care “Whanaketia – through pain and trauma, from darkness to light,” was tabled in Parliament ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Government acknowledges courageous abuse survivors

    The Government has acknowledged the nearly 2,400 courageous survivors who shared their experiences during the Royal Commission of Inquiry into Historical Abuse in State and Faith-Based Care. The final report from the largest and most complex public inquiry ever held in New Zealand, the Royal Commission Inquiry “Whanaketia – through ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Half a million people use tax calculator

    With a week to go before hard-working New Zealanders see personal income tax relief for the first time in fourteen years, 513,000 people have used the Budget tax calculator to see how much they will benefit, says Finance Minister Nicola Willis.  “Tax relief is long overdue. From next Wednesday, personal income ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Paid Parental Leave improvements pass first reading

    Workplace Relations and Safety Minister Brooke van Velden says a bill that has passed its first reading will improve parental leave settings and give non-biological parents more flexibility as primary carer for their child. The Regulatory Systems Amendment Bill (No3), passed its first reading this morning. “It includes a change ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Rebuilding the economy through better regulation

    Two Bills designed to improve regulation and make it easier to do business have passed their first reading in Parliament, says Economic Development Minister Melissa Lee. The Regulatory Systems (Economic Development) Amendment Bill and Regulatory Systems (Immigration and Workforce) Amendment Bill make key changes to legislation administered by the Ministry ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • ‘Open banking’ and ‘open electricity’ on the way

    New legislation paves the way for greater competition in sectors such as banking and electricity, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly says. “Competitive markets boost productivity, create employment opportunities and lift living standards. To support competition, we need good quality regulation but, unfortunately, a recent OECD report ranked New ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Charity lotteries to be permitted to operate online

    Minister of Internal Affairs Brooke van Velden says lotteries for charitable purposes, such as those run by the Heart Foundation, Coastguard NZ, and local hospices, will soon be allowed to operate online permanently. “Under current laws, these fundraising lotteries are only allowed to operate online until October 2024, after which ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Accelerating Northland Expressway

    The Coalition Government is accelerating work on the new four-lane expressway between Auckland and Whangārei as part of its Roads of National Significance programme, with an accelerated delivery model to deliver this project faster and more efficiently, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. “For too long, the lack of resilient transport connections ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Sir Don to travel to Viet Nam as special envoy

    Sir Don McKinnon will travel to Viet Nam this week as a Special Envoy of the Government, Foreign Minister Winston Peters has announced.    “It is important that the Government give due recognition to the significant contributions that General Secretary Nguyen Phu Trong made to New Zealand-Viet Nam relations,” Mr ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Grant Illingworth KC appointed as transitional Commissioner to Royal Commission

    Minister of Internal Affairs Brooke van Velden says newly appointed Commissioner, Grant Illingworth KC, will help deliver the report for the first phase of the Royal Commission of Inquiry into COVID-19 Lessons, due on 28 November 2024.  “I am pleased to announce that Mr Illingworth will commence his appointment as ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • NZ to advance relationships with ASEAN partners

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