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Key’s speeder-gate

Written By: - Date published: 9:02 am, October 5th, 2009 - 31 comments
Categories: humour, john key - Tags:

When they’re struggling to defend Bill English’s housing rip-off, or John Key’s clowning, or Richard Worth’s dodgy dealings, or Anne Tolley’s incompetence, or Paula Bennett’s bullying, righties will still often try to deflect by recalling the time the car Helen Clark was in sped in Canterbury. Speeder-gate remains one of the worst things idealogs of the right can try to blame on Clark.

So, I can’t help but smile that Key’s already had his own speeder-gate, with his motorcade travelling at up to twice the speed limit on narrow Samoan roads so that Key could have a shower.

Don’t worry, dear righties, I’m not going to play the wowser and try to play this into some huge scandal – that’s more your guys’ style.

If you’ve been to the islands, particularly when some official event is on, you’ll have seen that’s how official vechicles drive – as fast as they can, and often straight down the middle of narrow, two-way roads. It’s a display of authority and power.

Still, now that Key’s had his own speeder-gate maybe we can all move on.

31 comments on “Key’s speeder-gate”

  1. TightyRighty 1

    Whatever Eddie, The samoan police were driving, not NZ police. The DPS asked the Samoans to slow down, and John Key thought it was a bit fast too. It bears no similarity to Clarke smashing through the canterbury plains on the way to a rugby match. and i bet no officers face charges because of this affair. clean up the drool from your shirt or blouse or whatever and get back to doing some real work for labour.

    • Zetetic 1.1

      tighty’s just lost his best fall-back line. It’s an upsetting experience.

      • Tigger 1.1.1

        TR – is that your back foot I spy? What will the public take from this? That Key was speeding…to have a shower. I care as much about this as I did about Clark’s speeding…which is not much.

        That said, what is it with Key and showers…

    • ghostwhowalksnz 1.2

      And the Police car escorting Don Brash to the same Rugby match in Wellington, eye witnesses had the vehicles driving onto footpaths , with lights flashing’ to push through the traffic congestion. Thats was Ok too ?.

      Travelling at 140 K on the Canterbury Plains is a lot safer then barrelling through narrow Samoan roads and villages at 100 + K.
      Key was in the back seat of a NZ car from the embassy. So HIS driver didnt have to keep up with a Samoan police car. That is of course unless Key ‘didnt notice’ and wanted to make the most of disaster tourism

      • Tim Ellis 1.2.1

        As usual GWW I don’t suppose you’ve got a source for this claim.

        If the NZ car was from “the embassy” then it would not have been a New Zealander driving.

  2. Adrian 2

    The Police were getting HC out of Canterbury in a hurry because they had a cock-up on their hands, they had arrested a bloke in dubious circumstances and had to release him at 3pm that afternoon because of the 24hr thing, he had a history of threats against politicians particulary HC. This person is a unique problem to the cops because he used to be one of them and knows what he can and cannot get away with. This side of the story is one that the Police try to underplay, but if asked they would have to tell, unfortunately due to a lack of anything that resembles a competent press in NZ the story has never been properly investigated.

    • ghostwhowalksnz 2.1

      Nonsense, The airport was closed because of the weather in Timaru so a convoy to Christchurch then a plane to Wellington was organised.
      Cops speed all the time even for minor emergencies , even in the suburban street where I live they reach 100+ k because they can

  3. Adrian 3

    GWWNZ. I was close enough to know. Maybe you would like to talk to the man in question yourself. Try visiting unannounced waving your party card. I’d buy tickets to see that.

    • Pat 3.1

      WTF? Helen Clark needed a speeding motorcade to get a head start on a nutter being released from police custody? Did he have access to a jet fighter or a Mad Max type grunter? Would make a good movie scene, perhaps, but forgive me for thinking this reason is bollocks.

  4. What comes around goes around ; )

  5. Ianmac 5

    I didn’t see any mention of this on the Herald on-line today. Who would have thought that Key being driven by his driver on roads limited to 40kph at speeds more than double that limit, would have been newsworthy, especially as it was only so that Key could get a shower. Sure. The NZ driver HAD to keep up with the police, but certainly this is not worthy of headlines and repetitions lasting days/weeks/months/years. You would have to be small minded or desperate to label it as Speedy-gate or some such. After all Key was not at the wheel, – er I don’t think so anyway? 🙄

    • ghostwhowalksnz 5.1

      Its news because a PREVIOUS incident was blown up. Its called careful what you wish for.
      This will be over the TV news tonight !! Ha ha ha

      • Tigger 5.1.1

        The real problem here is not the speeding, it’s the speeding for a shower. That’s what the public will remember. That John Key was sped through Samoa so he could shower.

        Hell mate, knock on door, get someone to loan you a bucket of water, quick rinse under the arms and move on. It’s not the red carpet Cannes, it’s disaster-riddled Samoa!

  6. Blue 6

    The best thing is reading Farrar on Kiwiblog trying to defend it.

    It’s okay when John does it.

    No word yet as to whether Key himself noticed how fast they were going?

  7. Adrian 7

    Pat. Early Police reports alluded to this problem at the time but once the mad righties got hold of it, it faded from view. Go back and read the Press.

  8. gobsmacked 8

    John Key just had to lean forward and tell the driver to slow down. But he was busy reading, and didn’t notice what speed they were doing.

    • Ever tried to read sitting in the back of a speeding car other than on a straight road?
      If you want to throw up real quick trying to read in a speeding car trying to manoeuvre through small streets is a sure fire way to achieve that.

      • gobsmacked 8.1.1

        I think you kinda missed the little joke there.

        This is great fun though. Especially Key’s whimpering “it wasn’t me” defence.

  9. torydog 9

    Typical two faced tories…….

    Im sure keys told them to slow down…but what with his speech impediment and all they probably couldnt understand him!!!!

    Im glad he wanted to wash himself before going out for dinner in a luxurous resort on the untouched side of Samoa!!!!!..what a wondeful guy!!!!!!

  10. ak 10

    Yet another coup for our international reputation – screaming through devastated villages at three times the legal limit – “Put down those coffins and stand aside! The emperor needs a SHOWER!!!” And you thought Letterman was cringeworthy…..

  11. Irascible 11

    I bet Key was in a hurry to get the dirt of poverty off his money speculator’s body. It’s one of the problems millionaires face when reality hits them in the face – they start to feel dirty but it doesn’t affect their consciences.

  12. Herodotus 12

    To those who are having some political fun over this (and it includes those taking pot shots at Chris Carter). I am saddened how such a tradegy is being so badly used for personnal gain.
    If this is the level that the left/right blogging has gone so ferral (with support from those closley alligned to the parties). Then I believe some self-evalution should take place. NO WONDER parliament is seen in such a poor light and thoise associated with politics!

  13. Ianmac 13

    Been thinking about the huge difference in the way American Samoa has been rescued by huge input of troops and resources from the USA, while it seemed that the locals were more likely to look on. I know that they regard Samoa as part of USA.
    Compare that with the huge efforts by the local population (and others) to do what they can to support themselves and cope with much fewer resources, in “our” Samoa. There is something there which warms the heart and yet throw doubt on the true value of swamping a population with “aid” as in the American way. I hope someone can explain this better than I can.

    • Bill 13.1

      An exercise in disempowerment that sometimes eventuates in dependency?

      Pernicious influence masquerading as benevolence?

      Cant resist. Old song lyric.

      And it looks like the ghost of Tarzan lied.
      He went over to the other side.
      And he rang like a bell from tree to tree.
      They never ever let you go!
      They never ever let you go!

      Yankee! Go home.
      Yankee! Go home.

      • Ianmac 13.1.1

        Yep all of the above Bill. You have to admire the community of spirit that Samoans display. Humbling.

  14. mike 14

    Funny how Key knew he was speeding at 80km/hr where as helen did’nt notice she was going 170km/hr.

    She did make quite a habbit of being oblivious to what was happening around her…

    • ghotswhowalksnz 14.1

      tearing along narrow mountain roads, and scattering the chickens as ‘Taito’ John Key had to keep his appointment with a hot shower. of course he noticed.
      The flat canterbury plains with wide roads must have been a motoway in comparison

    • RedLogix 14.2

      @mike,

      The point is that while you righties worked yourselves into an insane lather about HC’s episode (and still cannot let it go, even though the High Court ultimately ruled that there was no legal grounds for any prosecution or blame whatsoever)… most of us on the left seem to be able to get the point; that in neither case was it reasonable to hold the passengers (Clark and Key) liable for their driver’s actions.

      The Police/Diplomatic Protection Squad operate under a chain of command quite independent of politicians. The only link of accoutability is, strictly speaking, between the Police Commisssioner and the Minister of Police. All other interference between Police and politicians is strictly unwarranted… even in what appear relatively close circumstances such as conveying senior Parliamentarians in cavalcades.

  15. Cal 15

    Johnny boy, when you are in a disaster area the last thing the locals are going to be thinking is whether you smell nice.
    If it bothers you that greatly, have a pirate bath.

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