Victoria University Chancellor Neville Jordan spits the dummy

Written By: - Date published: 8:00 am, March 8th, 2016 - 27 comments
Categories: Media, social media lolz - Tags: , ,

This article appeared in the 21 February issue of Victoria University’s student magazine Salient – and University Chancellor, Neville Jordan, couldn’t handle the jandal so lost the plot and spat the dummy. Big time.

salient article on jornda chancellor


The spoof Q&A has Jordan saying that both the best and worst part of his job is “Shaking lots of sweaty hands at graduation ceremonies” and that what he actually does is “Shake lots of sweaty hands at graduation ceremonies”. When asked “Kanye West or Kendrick Lamar?”, Jordan opts for “Cliff Richard”. The article concludes with his parting words of wisdom “don’t listen to what other people say because they don’t know the truth”.

Pretty gentle humour, really. There’s a heap of material available for far more severe, and deserving, satire.

Neville Jordan, internet lulz cow

Neville  Jordan

Yet, despite the brief piece appearing on the magazine’s regular “Funny News” section and despite the content being an obvious piss-take, Jordan let loose his RAEG during the “Urgent Business” part of the next meeting of the University Council.  Attendees were treated to a five-minute, red-faced, spittle-flecked tirade from Jordan.  He claimed that it was not made clear the article was satirical and its publication was a “disgusting . . . travesty“.  He demanded an apology. And, no, a written apology was not acceptable. The apology he wanted – nay, REQUIRED – had to appear on-line and be printed in Salient in the same spot where the fun-piece had appeared. Not only that, the apology had to include the word “unreservedly”. His demand was non-negotiable. Further, those responsible for this “disgusting travesty” were additionally REQUIRED to eliminate any and all on-line evidence of the article having ever existed.  Consequences for failing to comply were not specified, but the pressure was on.

Well, Neville Jordan got his unreserved apology but, poor diddums, making the item disappear from the interwebz forever is beyond the control of anyone now. For those concerned about this sort of bully-boy bullshit, feel free to wall-paper your social media with the article. Allow him to experience the streisand effect so other National Ltd™ neoliberal plants within our public education sector might be curtailed from similar acts of intimidation.

27 comments on “Victoria University Chancellor Neville Jordan spits the dummy”

  1. One Anonymous Bloke 1

    Can laughter be a cure for the fearful stunted intellect of the neo-liberal?

    • adam 1.1

      Always the best option.

      Laugh at them

    • BLiP 1.2

      Don’t underestimate the intellect of your average neoliberal, some of them are very smart and know exactly what they are doing. They just don’t care about the human suffering because those humans suffering “made bad choices”. The difficulty is that their thinking has become twisted into a cult devotion where mammon, in the form of “the invisible hand”, must at all times be worshiped. The neoliberal cult provides all manner of thought-stopping easy answers which are simply parroted because to do otherwise is to actually consider their role in the harm being caused.

      Mockery is, however, a useful tool because it pricks the ego of those suffering cognitive dissonance and causes them to lose it, like Neville did. The fall out is harsh on those directly involved in the mockery and/or on those close to the neoliberal spluttering in rage but it does highlight a certain irrationality.

  2. Lanthanide 2

    Not really sure why this is on The Standard, since there doesn’t seem to be any sort of political angle to this at all, really.

    Seems like something better suited to Facebook sharing amongst your friends, or a Stuff “news” article.

    • There is a political angle. The current government rearranged University councils to have fewer members, with elected staff/student representation disappearing and the councils dominated by Stephen Joyce’s appointees. The aim is to further Joyce’s programme of making universities tools of his government’s economic policies. This pompous ass Jordan is one of Joyce’s appointees.

      • Lanthanide 2.1.1

        Ah, I see that that is very briefly alluded to at the end of this story, but I didn’t have time to follow the link to read more.

        Still think this could have been explained a bit better for people (such as myself) not familiar with this meddling by National, or even who this person is.

        • weka

          It’s also political because of the pressure from him to the student newspaper implying that he is immune from satire.

      • BLiP 2.1.2

        Indeed. And lets not forget that Spud Bolger is also in there riding this particular gravy train. So, now that the reduction in oversight and the seeding of neoliberal mates has largely been completed, all that’s required to justify the elimination of the humanities is a nice juicy Productivity Commission report, complete with fancy graphs detailing projected economic benefits. Oh, hang on . . .

        . . . Productivity Commission chairman Murray Sherwin said increases in tertiary education had not translated into increased economic productivity, and the sector needed to be ready to make the most of new technologies.

        Mr Sherwin said the investigation would look particularly closely at some of the challenges facing tertiary institutions . . .

        . . . surprise, surprise.

        • greywarshark

          A very reasonable fear. Humanities are about humans in all their aspects. But unis are now mainly about symbolic, created systems and machines. Sorry species and the living world, we are out of favour this year, this century. Roll up the red carpet, grab our petitions, requests and begging bowls and get off out of sight, before we get kicked out and told to stay out with a banning order.

          Words for this century. I like cognitive dissonance used above by Blip I think. Google – cognitive dissonance
          noun: cognitive dissonance
          the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioural decisions and attitude change.
          Rosie thought dissociation had resonance.

      • Ovid 2.1.3

        But he’s the chancellor, not the vice-chancellor. The V-C wields executive authority and is basically the CEO of a university. Chancellors are much more ceremonial roles, they confer degrees at graduation and serve as advocates for their institutions. They don’t typically come in Monday-Friday at 8.30 a.m. for a full day of chancelling.

        It’s basically a sinecure.

        • Psycho Milt

          If you imagine the University Council doesn’t have an effect on the culture of the place, you’re dreaming. Trying to directly appoint the VC would be declaration of a war Joyce would probably lose – this approach is more insidious and harder to oppose. It’s called “politics.”

  3. I haven’t seen the apology but would happily have provided one for the editors of Salient.

    A whole page would have been my suggestion saying:

    “We unreservedly apologise for giving Neville Jordan the opportunity to prove he was a dick and that he whole heartedly took it up.”

    His knighthood sure as hell can’t have been for having a sense of humour, common sense or for that matter, intellectual capacity.

  4. grumpystilskin 4

    You’d have to be a complete muppet to not realise it’s humour.
    He must have a VERY high opinion of himself to take that seriously and be offended.
    Ego can be a bitch.. Now my 500+ friends on FB will see it as well.

  5. I’ve now seen the apology on:

    I’ve got one of those fancy new computers which deciphers the ostensibly unseen words written in invisible ink. Written on the published apology are all sorts of stuff the writers of the “humble apology” really thought and said.

    They’re dead right!

  6. SPC 7

    The great and all powerful Chancellor is just a ceremonial poster “boy” in a sinecure, but stating the truth (challenging the phony) is not PC in modern authoritarian capitalist power fawning academia.

  7. One Anonymous Bloke 8

    Too funny, Salient’s ‘apology’ was of the Clayton’s variety.

    We unreservedly apologise for the offence and confusion caused…

    Translation: we’re sorry about the state of your mind.

    I sincerely hope the spluttering trash notices that they’ve added insult to injury, and then fails to comprehend that his eyes are bigger than his stomach 😈

  8. Colonial Viper 9

    He used to have a better sense of humour than this.

  9. feijoa 10

    Go Salient!
    Do not be bowed down by this!!

  10. ropata 11

    “sir” neville jordan, another entitled aristocrat living a life of privilege, getting upset when the lower classes don’t show proper respect for his esteemed station.

    fucking hell is this a university or an English ponce school?
    what happened to free thinking, free expression for all ideas, including those deemed offensive?

    ffs uni has become a factory for commerce and marketing droids learning how to rip off the poor and less connected

    “sir” neville jordan … upper class twat of the week

  11. Lucy 12

    Bet if the editor’s were not women then the VUWSA might have stood behind them. If they want to see satire much more radical than this I have a number of early student mags from the late 60’s early 70’s that would show them they could wind it up more. At least they have got rid of the LAD culture which stop me reading Salient about 10 years ago. Got sick of the boy giggles that it was reduced to – may have to start reading it again. Hopefully they can start the investigations that they used to have!

  12. Smilin 13

    You know that song “Rebel Rebel you tore my dress” maybe it should be Neville Neville

  13. North 14

    70s Wellington – “Cock” – an undergroundish ‘publication’ by Chris Wheeler. Now that was pungent satire ! If not criminal libel. I remember the long running completely invented word picture of the hot affair between Esme Tombleson National MP for Gisborne and Brian Talboys Minister of Education…….Brian’s regular early morning scuttling from Esme’s Wellington flat in the VIP Valiant ministerial self-drive. “Yards and yards of anonymous cloth hangin’ between his legs” (Talboys favoured the very draped double breasted). Was hilarious, naughty stuff. Must be many other Standard people familiar with the political characters of the Aro Valley of the day which is where I think Wheeler was placed.

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