Victoria University Chancellor Neville Jordan spits the dummy

Written By: - Date published: 8:00 am, March 8th, 2016 - 27 comments
Categories: Media, social media lolz - Tags: , ,

This article appeared in the 21 February issue of Victoria University’s student magazine Salient – and University Chancellor, Neville Jordan, couldn’t handle the jandal so lost the plot and spat the dummy. Big time.

salient article on jornda chancellor

 

The spoof Q&A has Jordan saying that both the best and worst part of his job is “Shaking lots of sweaty hands at graduation ceremonies” and that what he actually does is “Shake lots of sweaty hands at graduation ceremonies”. When asked “Kanye West or Kendrick Lamar?”, Jordan opts for “Cliff Richard”. The article concludes with his parting words of wisdom “don’t listen to what other people say because they don’t know the truth”.

Pretty gentle humour, really. There’s a heap of material available for far more severe, and deserving, satire.

Neville Jordan, internet lulz cow

Neville  Jordan

Yet, despite the brief piece appearing on the magazine’s regular “Funny News” section and despite the content being an obvious piss-take, Jordan let loose his RAEG during the “Urgent Business” part of the next meeting of the University Council.  Attendees were treated to a five-minute, red-faced, spittle-flecked tirade from Jordan.  He claimed that it was not made clear the article was satirical and its publication was a “disgusting . . . travesty“.  He demanded an apology. And, no, a written apology was not acceptable. The apology he wanted – nay, REQUIRED – had to appear on-line and be printed in Salient in the same spot where the fun-piece had appeared. Not only that, the apology had to include the word “unreservedly”. His demand was non-negotiable. Further, those responsible for this “disgusting travesty” were additionally REQUIRED to eliminate any and all on-line evidence of the article having ever existed.  Consequences for failing to comply were not specified, but the pressure was on.

Well, Neville Jordan got his unreserved apology but, poor diddums, making the item disappear from the interwebz forever is beyond the control of anyone now. For those concerned about this sort of bully-boy bullshit, feel free to wall-paper your social media with the article. Allow him to experience the streisand effect so other National Ltd™ neoliberal plants within our public education sector might be curtailed from similar acts of intimidation.

27 comments on “Victoria University Chancellor Neville Jordan spits the dummy”

  1. One Anonymous Bloke 1

    Can laughter be a cure for the fearful stunted intellect of the neo-liberal?

    • adam 1.1

      Always the best option.

      Laugh at them

    • BLiP 1.2

      Don’t underestimate the intellect of your average neoliberal, some of them are very smart and know exactly what they are doing. They just don’t care about the human suffering because those humans suffering “made bad choices”. The difficulty is that their thinking has become twisted into a cult devotion where mammon, in the form of “the invisible hand”, must at all times be worshiped. The neoliberal cult provides all manner of thought-stopping easy answers which are simply parroted because to do otherwise is to actually consider their role in the harm being caused.

      Mockery is, however, a useful tool because it pricks the ego of those suffering cognitive dissonance and causes them to lose it, like Neville did. The fall out is harsh on those directly involved in the mockery and/or on those close to the neoliberal spluttering in rage but it does highlight a certain irrationality.

  2. Lanthanide 2

    Not really sure why this is on The Standard, since there doesn’t seem to be any sort of political angle to this at all, really.

    Seems like something better suited to Facebook sharing amongst your friends, or a Stuff “news” article.

    • There is a political angle. The current government rearranged University councils to have fewer members, with elected staff/student representation disappearing and the councils dominated by Stephen Joyce’s appointees. The aim is to further Joyce’s programme of making universities tools of his government’s economic policies. This pompous ass Jordan is one of Joyce’s appointees.

      • Lanthanide 2.1.1

        Ah, I see that that is very briefly alluded to at the end of this story, but I didn’t have time to follow the link to read more.

        Still think this could have been explained a bit better for people (such as myself) not familiar with this meddling by National, or even who this person is.

        • weka 2.1.1.1

          It’s also political because of the pressure from him to the student newspaper implying that he is immune from satire.

      • BLiP 2.1.2

        Indeed. And lets not forget that Spud Bolger is also in there riding this particular gravy train. So, now that the reduction in oversight and the seeding of neoliberal mates has largely been completed, all that’s required to justify the elimination of the humanities is a nice juicy Productivity Commission report, complete with fancy graphs detailing projected economic benefits. Oh, hang on . . .

        . . . Productivity Commission chairman Murray Sherwin said increases in tertiary education had not translated into increased economic productivity, and the sector needed to be ready to make the most of new technologies.

        Mr Sherwin said the investigation would look particularly closely at some of the challenges facing tertiary institutions . . .

        . . . surprise, surprise.

        • greywarshark 2.1.2.1

          @Blip
          A very reasonable fear. Humanities are about humans in all their aspects. But unis are now mainly about symbolic, created systems and machines. Sorry species and the living world, we are out of favour this year, this century. Roll up the red carpet, grab our petitions, requests and begging bowls and get off out of sight, before we get kicked out and told to stay out with a banning order.

          Words for this century. I like cognitive dissonance used above by Blip I think. Google – cognitive dissonance
          nounPsychology
          noun: cognitive dissonance
          the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioural decisions and attitude change.
          Rosie thought dissociation had resonance.
          edited

      • Ovid 2.1.3

        But he’s the chancellor, not the vice-chancellor. The V-C wields executive authority and is basically the CEO of a university. Chancellors are much more ceremonial roles, they confer degrees at graduation and serve as advocates for their institutions. They don’t typically come in Monday-Friday at 8.30 a.m. for a full day of chancelling.

        It’s basically a sinecure.

        • Psycho Milt 2.1.3.1

          If you imagine the University Council doesn’t have an effect on the culture of the place, you’re dreaming. Trying to directly appoint the VC would be declaration of a war Joyce would probably lose – this approach is more insidious and harder to oppose. It’s called “politics.”

  3. I haven’t seen the apology but would happily have provided one for the editors of Salient.

    A whole page would have been my suggestion saying:

    “We unreservedly apologise for giving Neville Jordan the opportunity to prove he was a dick and that he whole heartedly took it up.”

    His knighthood sure as hell can’t have been for having a sense of humour, common sense or for that matter, intellectual capacity.

  4. grumpystilskin 4

    You’d have to be a complete muppet to not realise it’s humour.
    He must have a VERY high opinion of himself to take that seriously and be offended.
    Ego can be a bitch.. Now my 500+ friends on FB will see it as well.

  5. I’ve now seen the apology on:
    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11601889

    I’ve got one of those fancy new computers which deciphers the ostensibly unseen words written in invisible ink. Written on the published apology are all sorts of stuff the writers of the “humble apology” really thought and said.

    They’re dead right!

  6. SPC 7

    The great and all powerful Chancellor is just a ceremonial poster “boy” in a sinecure, but stating the truth (challenging the phony) is not PC in modern authoritarian capitalist power fawning academia.

  7. One Anonymous Bloke 8

    Too funny, Salient’s ‘apology’ was of the Clayton’s variety.

    We unreservedly apologise for the offence and confusion caused…

    Translation: we’re sorry about the state of your mind.

    I sincerely hope the spluttering trash notices that they’ve added insult to injury, and then fails to comprehend that his eyes are bigger than his stomach 😈

  8. Colonial Viper 9

    He used to have a better sense of humour than this.

  9. feijoa 10

    Go Salient!
    Do not be bowed down by this!!

  10. ropata 11

    “sir” neville jordan, another entitled aristocrat living a life of privilege, getting upset when the lower classes don’t show proper respect for his esteemed station.

    fucking hell is this a university or an English ponce school?
    what happened to free thinking, free expression for all ideas, including those deemed offensive?

    ffs uni has become a factory for commerce and marketing droids learning how to rip off the poor and less connected

    “sir” neville jordan … upper class twat of the week

  11. Lucy 12

    Bet if the editor’s were not women then the VUWSA might have stood behind them. If they want to see satire much more radical than this I have a number of early student mags from the late 60’s early 70’s that would show them they could wind it up more. At least they have got rid of the LAD culture which stop me reading Salient about 10 years ago. Got sick of the boy giggles that it was reduced to – may have to start reading it again. Hopefully they can start the investigations that they used to have!

  12. Smilin 13

    You know that song “Rebel Rebel you tore my dress” maybe it should be Neville Neville

  13. North 14

    70s Wellington – “Cock” – an undergroundish ‘publication’ by Chris Wheeler. Now that was pungent satire ! If not criminal libel. I remember the long running completely invented word picture of the hot affair between Esme Tombleson National MP for Gisborne and Brian Talboys Minister of Education…….Brian’s regular early morning scuttling from Esme’s Wellington flat in the VIP Valiant ministerial self-drive. “Yards and yards of anonymous cloth hangin’ between his legs” (Talboys favoured the very draped double breasted). Was hilarious, naughty stuff. Must be many other Standard people familiar with the political characters of the Aro Valley of the day which is where I think Wheeler was placed.

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    I understand there's some stuff going round about how the SIS "was removed from the list of public offices covered by the Public Records Act in 2017". The context of course being their records derived from US torture, which will be disposed of or sealed. The good news is that ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • An evidence-based discussion of the Canadian fluoride/IQ study
    Dr. Christopher Labos and Jonathan Jarry discuss the recent Canadian fluoride/IQ research. They provide an expert analysis of the paper and its problems. Click on image to go to podcast. The critical debate about the recent ...
    1 week ago
  • Climate Change: Australia in denial
    Australia is burning down again, and meanwhile its natural disaster minister is denying climate change:Australia’s minister responsible for drought and natural disasters, David Littleproud, has said that he doesn’t “know if climate change is manmade”. Clarifying earlier comments that the question is “irrelevant” when considering the Coalition government’s response to ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Philippines activist speaking on the Duterte tyranny
    Auckland Philippines Solidarity is excited to host Professor Judy Taguiwalo for a speaking tour of NZ in September. She is a well-known activist in the Philippines and was a political prisoner under the Marcos dictatorship. Professor Taguiwalo briefly served as a Cabinet member under President Duterte but was forced from ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    1 week ago
  • Disgust
    I have no special insights to offer on the Labour sexual assault coverup. All I have is disgust. Disgust that an organisation could fail its people so badly. Disgust that they punished the victims rather than the perpetrator. Disgust that its party hacks are apparently blaming the victims for demanding ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Speak Up for Women calls out Greens’ censorship
    This open letter to the Green Party was penned after an opinion piece by Jill Abigail, a feminist and founding member of the party, was censored by the Greens’ leadership. (Redline has reprinted her article here).The intolerance of the Green Party leaders and their acceptance of the misogyny of gender ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    1 week ago
  • Member’s Day: End of Life Choice, part 3
    Today is a Member's day, and David Seymour's End of Life Choice Bill continues its slow crawl through its committee stage. They're spending the whole day on it today, though the first hour is likely to be spent on voting left over from last time. After that they'll move on ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Flight to Los Angeles turned back after passengers decide they don’t want to go anymore
    An ambitious plan to fly to Los Angeles petered out into a brief sight-seeing trip and a desire to return home and get some sleep before work tomorrow. Air New Zealand has confirmed a flight to Los Angeles last night was turned back about a quarter of the way into ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    1 week ago
  • Indigenous Futures: defuturing and futuring – an analytical framework for policy development?
    There appears to be consensus – by omission – that the concept of indigenous futures should be accepted at face value. So I scavenged the internet to see if I could locate an academic descriptor or a framework around how we think about it as a concept, and whether it ...
    EllipsisterBy Ellipsister
    2 weeks ago
  • Cadbury rumoured to be releasing the Pineapple Trump
    Here’s another novelty chocolate to shove in your gob, New Zealand Cadbury could be seeking to make itself great again with a rumoured new release: Pineapple Trumps, a spin on its classic chocolate-encased pineapple treat and do-it-yourself tooth remover. The global confectionery manufacturer and bumbling “before” character in an infomercial, ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    2 weeks ago
  • The coming resource war.
    During my time in the Pentagon I had the privilege of sitting down with military leaders and defence and security officials from a variety of Latin American nations. Sometimes I was present as a subordinate assistant to a senior US defence department official, sometimes as part of a delegation that ...
    KiwipoliticoBy Pablo
    2 weeks ago
  • Māori Language Week with The Civilian
    Kia ora, Aotearoa. It’s that magical time of year. Te Wiki o te Reo Māori. In English, the week that frightens talk radio. As you probably know by now, all your favourite media outlets are participating, some more successfully than others. Stuff has changed its name to Puna for the ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    2 weeks ago
  • Will Horizons act on climate change?
    Local body elections are coming up next month. And it looks like all Palmerston North candidates for Horizons (the Manawatu-Whanganui Regional Council) want to take action on climate change:Climate change is set to be a key issue in Palmerston North for the next three years if those wanting to get ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • BORA reform is stalled
    Eighteen months ago, the government promised to strengthen the Bill of Rights Act, by explicitly affirming the power of the courts to issue declarations of inconsistency and requiring Parliament to formally respond to them. So how's that going? I was curious, so I asked for all advice about the proposal. ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Corbyn and Brexit
    As the Brexit saga staggers on, the focus is naturally enough on the Prime Minister and his attempts to achieve Brexit “do or die”. But the role played by the Leader of the Opposition is of almost equal interest and complexity. The first problem for Jeremy Corbyn is that he ...
    Bryan GouldBy Bryan Gould
    2 weeks ago
  • A ditch for him to die in
    Last week, English Prime Minister Boris Johnson boldly declared that he would rather die be dead in a ditch than delay Brexit. Unfortunately for him, the UK parliament accepted the challenge, and promptly dug one for him. The "rebellion bill" requires him to ask for and secure yet another temporary ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Warning! Warning! Danger Jacinda Ardern! Danger Marama Davidson! Warning!
    Lost In Political Space: The most important takeaway from this latest Labour sexual assault scandal, which (if I may paraphrase Nixon’s White House counsel’s, John Dean’s, infamous description of Watergate) is “growing like a cancer” on the premiership, is the Labour Party organisation’s extraordinary professional paralysis in the face of ...
    2 weeks ago

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