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So that’s the plan

Written By: - Date published: 1:30 pm, February 2nd, 2009 - 41 comments
Categories: humour, john key - Tags:

arm-castWell it may not have been particularly self-evident just what National have been doing since the election, but clearly John has some kind of plan.

The TradeMe auction of Key’s arm cast, acquired after an inauspicious Chinese New Year trip, has begun. Worried perhaps that the auction might also fall flat on its face, John has thrown in a morning tea with the PM for whoever should be so lucky to win the bidding war for this stylish piece of politico-medical object d’art.

With the proceeds being donated to the Fred Hollows Foundation, this could spell a whole new frontier in National policy: selling soiled cast-offs to the hapless to fund basic humanitarian services. That way the wealthy don’t have to part with any of their cash and they save on disposal fees, while once again the money is flowing to the desperately needy – everybody wins! Great to see John has been applying his finely honed financial acumen to the problems facing our country.

Sources also report Gerry Brownlee is considering auctioning his undies to help pay for the Auckland infrastructure projects.

41 comments on “So that’s the plan”

  1. bobo 1

    It must be starting to smell rank in this hot humid weather…

  2. toad 2

    I imagine Gerry’s undies are too!

  3. Tigger 3

    I assume Key will be footing the bill for this morning tea? Otherwise the taxpayer is effectively subsidising his personal charitable donation…

  4. higherstandard 4

    Good on him the Hollows Foundation can do with all the extra funds it gets.

    Perhaps Sprout, you could donate something apart from rank negativity.

  5. greenfly 5

    Think of how much more valuable a full-body cast would have been 🙂

  6. cocamc 6

    hey – at least his auction for charity is authentic !!! not like a certain painting

  7. Felix 7

    Perhaps Sprout, you could donate something apart from rank negativity light humour.

    There you go hs, fixed it for you.

  8. Kerry 8

    I think Jenny Shipley will be bidding on Gerrys G-String…..She has a thing for him so she will no doubt be bidding…she can use them a sunblock for the Auckland CBD.

    As for Johns cast….im pleased to see hes got his priorities right….bugger the economy and lets focus on trival garbage…….notice the journos are lapping it up
    “oh how wonderful of John to do something so generous”.

    Personally I would rather bid on a real/fake picture from our previous PM..

  9. “Good on him the Hollows Foundation can do with all the extra funds it gets”

    agreed, the Fred Hollows Foundation is an amazing and thoroughly worthy organization. i just hope considering this…


    …that there’s a more systematic plan to help the community service groups operating in NZ.

  10. higherstandard 10

    Yes quite right Felix charity when it comes from those one despises must always be treated with derision …. quite right quite right Sprout well done.


    Sprout are you trying to now suggest that the Hollows foundation has been well supported by governments in this country .. ever ?

  11. Felix 11

    charity humour when it comes from those one despises must always be treated with derision”

    There you go hs, now it makes sense.

    btw I don’t mind being your proofreader, but we really should talk about my fee before I do too much more work for you 😉

  12. higherstandard 12

    I would’ve thought you’d have better things to do than stalk me on the internet …. I though that was more robinsod’s modus operandi ?

    In terms of the Sprout’s post if you can’t see the the bile dripping from your screen you must have missed it ….. it’s as sad as the furore over HC’s painting everyone tends to forget it’s about the charity and not about their distaste for Clark or in this case Key all quite pitiful really.

    … oh and good on the Herald ….. another major sponsor of the Hollows foundation.

  13. BLiP 13

    Higherstandard said:

    oh and good on the Herald .. another major sponsor of the Hollows foundation National Party

    I’m happy to help out as well.

  14. higherstandard 14

    Congratulations this blog has now become the mirror image of kiwiblog…….. a pack of clowns who are only willing to agree with their own limited world view.

  15. Felix 15

    Sorry hs, I didn’t realize this was your thread.

    As sad as the furore over HC’s painting? Really? Is someone calling Key corrupt and demanding he resign? Must have missed that…

    In fact the only indignant anger, the only bile I can see here is yours, hs. I know it’s monday but jeez, get over yourself. Lighten up.

  16. Rex Widerstrom 16

    I’d always assumed that the construction of Gerry Brownlee’s undies was a major infrastructure project.

  17. Felix 17

    Yes Rex – and unfortunately for Gerry, tolls are probably not a viable option for paying for it.

  18. vto 18

    That would be an unnecessary piece of infrastructure. Let him go without.

  19. Matthew Pilott 19

    Jeepers, it’s mocking everything about National APART from the bloody donation, HS. What’s ruffled your precious feathers, did you get outbid?

    Felix, it’s exactly like Clark’s painting incident. Don’t worry, I’m sure The Herald will be calling for a police investigation, when it turns out that the cast was not err…cast… by Kevin Rudd, despite having his signature on it. You could probably start holding your breath, it will happen any second.
    Edit – vto, I can see the headlines: “ARC and Govt go commando on AKL motorway construction”

  20. Tigger 20

    We definitely need a PPP to deal with it – Gerry’s undies should be familiar with pees…

    Matt – I’m happy to mock the donation aspect also. Key is using official time to have this morning tea I assume? And he’s paid for that but it’s a personal donation. So will he be making up that time at a later date. I know my boss would expect me to do so if I used work time for personal chartiable work…

  21. higherstandard 21


    “HS. What’s ruffled your precious feathers, did you get outbid?”

    Agreed I shouldn’t take Blogs so seriously – but it would be nice on occasion to just see the blogs try to step out of the partisan space (as per IB on the crime issue) and say something positive instead of looking to mock and belittle …. I thought that’s what talk back radio was for ?

  22. GPT 22

    Why so bitter?

  23. Ah HS,

    I see you’ve gone from attack and patronising ridicule to whinging and moping.
    I thought Felix and MP’s responses to your comments where very funny.

    Whassa matter? Is it not so funny when you’re on the receiving end?

    Just to stay on topic; I thought since John called Helen before he went to APEC (interesting speech he gave there about how the taxpayers should pay for the excesses of the bankers and the hedgefunds, something you might wanna remember when we start giving loads of money to the banks) perhaps he should do that again.

    I hear her, she being the greatest living New Zealander, signature could command a fair sum. LOL . Perhaps he can convince her to do the bipartisan thing and sign his tatty cask. At least he could sell it as Helen Clark Art and it would actually fetch something.

  24. Greg 24

    Trust you to try and put a bad spin on a good PR story. This relates to a point I was thinking about earlier though. There seems to be a trend in world politics where leaders refuse wage increases and give their salaries to charity (or their cast’s!). All in an attempt to improve PR. Now if this becomes the expectation, won’t we struggle to find good leaders, given they will be effectively paid very little?

  25. higherstandard 25

    Quite so Eve I suspect the auction is all just part of some bankers plot to take over the world anyway.

    They got away with blowing up the twin towers what next eh ?

  26. Dave 26

    hahaha HS, your kinda off topic there aye

    why don’t ya pop off to kiwiblog and you can pick up where you left off in soggy biscuit hahaha

  27. There there HS,

    Feel better now?

    No HS, the banksters are all good.(in Soothing tone)

    The $ 700,- billion bailout went to good works and the repented en mass for their speculation and their scams and as per promised they started lending money again and voila the crisis disappeared.

    But, but, Oh no, the money went to bonuses and buying up real world assets (That is for what we’ve been able to find out because the won’t even tell Bloomberg what they spend the money on). And ,make that several trillion
    And John Key told us that the financial system has failed and that we have to do it all different form now on. Like an economy based on real wealth and not on derivative speculation. Ooh oops, that was Putin.

    John Key said that the tax payer had to pay for the bankers and hedgefunds gambling.

    Wasn’t that Bush saying that Wall street got drunk? Yes, Bush said that but really it was John Key who said:

    So now the party is over and the taxpayers of the world are left to underwrite in one form or another the liabilities and obligations of banks and, by extension, their hedge-fund clientele.

    Huh, I can’t remember being anywhere near Wall street when they got drunk, can you?

    That taxpayer, Buster is you and me and I don’t have $ 50 mill earned with derivatives and speculation do you?

    By the way ladies and gentlemen that APEC speech is full of little gems like that. Funny how he doesn’t say these things over here.

    Read it and you might be forgiven to think that John Key may have a agenda which is not in the interest of the common people of New Zealand.

    And to get back to the thread;

    Anybody out there willing to cough up for the cast and the tea break. I don’t have the money but I’ve got a bucket load of questions I would like to ask John Key?

  28. Pascal's bookie 28

    Anybody out there willing to cough up for the cast and the tea break. I don’t have the money but I’ve got a bucket load of questions I would like to ask John Key?

    I’ve got a wee credit crunch of me own at the mo’, but I’d sure like to watch that. Youtube gold 😉

  29. higherstandard 29

    Yes Eve

    Quite right Key is clearly the foot soldier of the international banking cabal who are going to take over NZ ….. never mind I’m sure some people will do very well out of the current financial conditions in NZ … SP seems to have done the right thing by locking in his rates some time ago and my financial advisor has done very well for me also over the last 24 months … c’est la vie.


    Re Eve having tea with Key …….. I don’t know if it would be worth a watch just a whole lot of incoherent screeching and the odd um and ah.

    And yes back to the thread

    The auction is now up to 20k …. good on the organisers of this ……. and … what was it the sprout calls them …..” the wealthy ….selling soiled cast-offs to the hapless to fund basic humanitarian services.”

  30. Pascal's bookie 30

    hs, I put up with reading your craptackular dreck, so I have a high tolerance for eve’s umming and aahing.

    Key’s incoherent screeching, ( I’m glad you can detect the dogwhistling underlying his monotone; it does screech on occasion doesn’t it?), is something the voters decided we will all with have to put up with.

  31. vto 31

    hee hee mrs rev is back and back into it.

    I think HS you made a pertinent point above re a comparison between kiwiblog and here.

    Anyway, enuff of the diggery and pokery. I said sometime ago that the social unrest, and following political change, may well come from the incredibly excessive and unrequested burden that western govts have recently been lowering onto the taxpayers backs via the bailouts and underwrites etc.

    No taxpayer requested this (oh except maybe for those greedy types with money in finance companies lusting after the govt guarantee). And if or when pay up time comes I think you will find universal screaming at the politicians and rapid ejection from office. Plausibly followed by a refusal to ‘honour’ these ‘unhonourable’ bailouts / guarantees. But, typically, the politicians who instigated this will not be around to explain (like Cullen and ACC blowouts – more dishonourability).

    Then govts will lose credibility and their strength in holding together wider communities will be seriously weakened. And etc from there …

    I sense this to be true.

  32. higherstandard 32

    PB … I think the only thing you have a tolerance for is being able to offer support to the bleatings of the terminally bewildered.


    ..indeed if there was one thing my pottering on blogs of the left or right has shown me is that people will defend or attack the politicians/party they support or despise…… while the vast rump of the country (visions of Brownlee and Horomia !!) don’t trust politicians full stop ….. which in my opinion is a far more sensible position to take… although in their defence I think our system of government despite its obvious faults is vastly preferable to the alternatives proposed by Rave and some others who comment here on occasion.

  33. Pascal's bookie 33

    How very Xtian of me.

  34. higherstandard 34

    Not with your name surely ?

    captcha 666 Isaac ….. it’s alive

  35. Felix 35


    All your blather is for nought then unless you can point to someone here (including The Sprout) who disagrees with Key auctioning his cast for charity.

  36. Matthew Pilott 36

    HS – I had a wee brainwave, here’s how you could enjoy reading blogs a bit more.

    Avoid any blog articles with ‘Humour’ tags – they clearly don’t agree with you, you’re still having a cry over it and it’s truly pathetic.

    If you’re super nice, maybe they’ll invent an “HS Safe” tag for articles that you could safely enjoy without presenting the slightly painful spectacle of HS getting HS (Highly Strung) over a wee piss-take.

  37. higherstandard 37

    “HS – I had a wee brainwave”

    That would be miraculous.

    Regarding getting highly strung – no – just calling the write up from Sprout for what it was a cheap shot at what he points to as the wealthy.

    Capcha – gentle farewell – it does appear to be cognisant at the moment – bye bye

  38. Hi vto,

    Good to see you’re still here.

    And good to see you’re taking the whole financial situation in account and actually acknowledge that the ridiculous “bailouts’ will inevitably cause major problems for the ruling class.

    I would however call a 6% increase in the cost of the ACC a blow out. Hell, every house being build goes over budget to that amount.

    What you reckon is this going to be a small recession or a big depression?


    Sorry mate, high strung you is when it is about a little innocent piss taking of your hero John Key. High strung and patronising.

    Why thank you PB, much obliged.

  39. higherstandard 39


    You must be loosing the plot more than normal if you think any politicians in NZ would make my list of heroes.

    I can only think of a handful in the last hundred years that I have a great deal of respect for.

  40. vto 41

    travellerev, something in the middle. unfortunately.

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  • Speech to Labour Party Congress 2020
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  • Speech by the Minister of Defence to the New Zealand Institute of International Affairs
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