Tearaway on election ’08

Written By: - Date published: 12:41 pm, July 15th, 2008 - 37 comments
Categories: articles, election 2008 - Tags:

A reader just alerted us to the fact that Tearaway’s latest issue features a piece on election ’08. Gotta love the question about what each leader would do with a billion dollars. Damn, where are C/T when you need ’em…?

(Click the image for a larger version)

37 comments on “Tearaway on election ’08 ”

  1. Stephen 1

    “had a career in finance and speculation”

    Tearaway readers might be tempted to think Key was a philosopher or something, doing all that speculating – ‘why didn’t he stick to finance’?

  2. Blar 2

    To be honest I think the answered would have appealed to a large number of teenage boys.

  3. A private jet to fly him to his Hawaiian get-away perhaps?

    The problem Blar is that you can appeal to teenage boys all you like, but it doesn’t mean you can run a country.

  4. Lew 4

    Maria: Quite true – but irrelevant if your goal is getting elected first and worrying about running a country later, and your constituency is teenaged boys (or those who wish they were teenaged boys 🙂 )


  5. Draco TB 5

    Gotta love the question about what each leader would do with a billion dollars.

    Oh hell yeah. First thing HC says that she would do as much as she could to help the world. First thing JK does is say that he would buy himself a personal jet and then give some to charity.

    Says it all really.

  6. Lew I think it’s rather naive to think New Zealand voters are so shallow as to make voting decisions based on what kind of “toys” a party leader is into. Kiwis are more switched on than that.

    When you add this to other comments like “I’d love to see wages drop”, “The war in Iraq is over” and “Climate Change is a hoax” the picture being painted is starting to look frightening.

  7. mondograss 7

    John Key = Pee Wee Herman. Ya gotta love that!

  8. randal 8

    new zealanders are in general little people and can be bought with toys but only if they think they can get away with it but I dont think so this time around. the stakes are to high and no one is going to give national a “GO” as long as they still keep preaching the worn out reaganite philosophy from the 80’s and 90’s. they got away with it that time due to the technology revolution but things are not the same at the moment. the technology revolution has cut all the fat and any excess must be preserved and no one is going to let the tory pigs have it all for themselves at the moment. You see the winners that time tried to tell everyone it was because they were clever but everyone knows that one is a lie now so until they come up with policy they are just a gang of wannabees which are are soort of a crossbetween killabees and drones.

  9. frog 9

    Ah, yeah, I remember the good old pre-1996 FPP days too when we only had two parties to choose from.

  10. I like Pee Wee Herman. Big adventure is one of the top ten movies ever made!


  11. jbc 11

    Tearaway’s own words:

    What a combination! Use THE VOICE OF YOUTH to reach young New Zealanders nationwide!

    TEARAWAY MAGAZINE – 127,000 readers aged 10+, with a major strength 15 to 24. PURCHASED in bulk by secondary schools for in-class use as well as take-home reading. Also available retail

    The “personal jet” is a fairly naff comment, but the PM’s doesn’t exactly catpure the imagination either (not saying that it is a bad idea).

    With a billion dollars would it not be tempting to work at a fresh approach to solving some problem rather than to throw it in the wash with all the other billions? That would be a tough one to answer on the spot unless you already had such plans.

  12. Liz 12

    My favourite bit is that he says he is all about preserving our country for future generations but then wants to buy a personal jet and likes to spend his spare time travelling. Hmmmm. Someone needs to read some George Monbiot and learn about peak oil.

  13. Peewee Herman I can see, but Katie Holmes? What’s the resemblance, except that they are both wearing lipstick?

    Seriously though, how many teenagers do you know who fret about globalisation? Yeah right.

  14. Graeme 14

    I remember the good old pre-1996 FPP days too when we only had two parties to choose from.

    Turn the page, frog – the others get a look in too.

  15. jafapete. yeah, you see that he doesn’t actually say what he thought about when he was a teen? Just ‘there was this globalisation thing’… I wonder if the term globalisation even existed when Key was a teen? He’d be quite the innovator if he was thinking about it before the term even existed.

    I think the look-a-likes is online programme comparing face shape, hair, colour etc.

  16. QoT 16

    *snorts* “A jet, a personal jet … HOSHIT and, like charity or something.” Priceless.

    Also, this is the second time captcha has given me “Harvard”. Weirdness.

  17. gobsmacked 17

    God, these “pollies-as-real-people” pieces are so dire.

    “Who did you idolise when you were 10?”

    “Well, you know, it was somebody from exactly the right target demographic, but not at all scary or controversial, and what I learned from him/her was the importance of education and that’s why we’re putting X million dollars into schools … blah blah”

    I’ll vote for the first person who says “I spent my childhood throwing fireworks at cats and pinching lollies from the dairy”.

  18. Blar 18

    “The problem Blar is that you can appeal to teenage boys all you like, but it doesn’t mean you can run a country.”

    The question was a silly one about what you would do if you got a billion dollars. I don’t think someone’s ability to run the country should be determined by their answer to a silly question in a magazine for teenagers.

    Perhaps you could add “if you had a super power, what would it be?” and “boxers or briefs?” to your litmus test questions you fucking tard.

  19. “Perhaps you could add “if you had a super power, what would it be?’ and “boxers or briefs?’ to your litmus test questions you fucking tard.”

    Woo hoo! Only 18 comments before the personal attacks begin. That must be a record for The Standard – I’m surprised it took so long 😛

    What’s got you so rarked up Blar? A few too many home truths about just what John Key does (or doesn’t) stand for? Oh that’s right, we don’t know. That’s why these little glimpses into his priorities are oh so helpful 🙂

  20. Blar 20

    “I wonder if the term globalisation even existed when Key was a teen?”

    The term didn’t really gain currency until the 80s, although it’s probably not outrageous to suggest Key was just using a handy modern term to articulate something he felt strongly about as a teenager. Globalisation certainly isn’t a new concept and New Zealand really did start to open up to the world in the 70s/80s.

  21. Blar 21

    “What’s got you so rarked up Blar?”

    Calling someone a tard is considered to be acceptable at the Standard.

  22. Blar – but he doesn’t appear to have felt strongly about it, read his response, he doesn’t actually voice an opinion on globalisation –

    “There were a lot of different issues floating around back then. One of them was certainly that the world was starting to globalise; a different world evolving where people started to look out beyond the boundaries of their own country into a world that was very different.”

    What did he think about globalisation? I’m none the wiser.

  23. I love this answer too:

    In terms of political issues as a teen, what really stood out for you?
    Poverty was one because you used to see a lot on TV about people starving to death and there was a hell of a lot about Sudan and Africa and all the issues that were going on then. So that’s one that really springs to mind.

    Sudan was in the news in the 1970s?

  24. gobsmacked 24

    Here’s a real answer:

    “What issues did you feel most passionate about as a teen?”

    “Looking cool. Feeling cool. Being liked! To be honest, I was never really politically interested in my younger years. I guess the more important things back then were things like getting your drivers license, just enjoying your teen years.”

    (Richard Lewis, Family Party)

    No, I’m not voting for them. But at least he doesn’t just parrot the “on message” lines.

  25. to be fair, in Clark’s case, she genuninely was in politics from her teenage years, as was Fitzsimons.

    I was surprised to see both Clark and Key dimiss aliens out of hand.. any sensible look at the nature of life and the size of the universe makes it absurd to think we are the only intelligent life… doesn’t mean they’re little grey men who visit us and cut up cows but I would have thought an assumption there is alien life was a no brainer. Perhaps they were worried about getting some political blow back from saying ‘yes’

  26. gobsmacked 26

    The full interviews on the website are quite revealing actually.

    Here’s John Key demonstrating his usual shaky grasp of detail:

    “Should the drinking age be raised back up to 20?”

    “Yes … What I supported was a split drinking age, so the drinking age on premises remains at 18, but buying from liquor outlets would be 20. I voted in the bill a few weeks ago… or a few months ago. Actually 12 months ago. Two years ago I think it was.”

    Oh dear.

  27. Edosan 27

    “Sudan was in the news in the 1970s?”

    There were a few Marxist inspired coups I believe, not very newsworthy for the 1970’s.

  28. higherstandard 28


    I would have thought their time in parliament would have convinced them both that not only does alien life exist it turns up in the debating chamber on occasion.

  29. Rex Widerstrom 29

    Pee Wee Herman is in fact a perfect match for any politcian anywhere. He was, after all, caught wanking himself in public.


  30. Stephen 31

    African countries all poor and starving + poor and starving african countries in the news = pick an African country, any African country as example of a bad place.

  31. randal 32

    let me get this straight. shonkey johnkey has promisd every teenager with a car a free big boor dilation?

  32. leftrightout 33

    Did John really need to go all Crosby/Textor for an interview with Tearaway via the “Im a family man” broken record.

  33. ak 34

    John Key:

    I voted in the bill a few weeks ago or a few months ago. Actually 12 months ago. Two years ago I think it was.’

    Thanks gobbo – that’s going straight to the pool room 8)

  34. Draco TB 35

    I was surprised to see both Clark and Key dimiss aliens out of hand.. any sensible look at the nature of life and the size of the universe makes it absurd to think we are the only intelligent life?


  35. Paul Robeson 36

    “and lastly” and leastly ” theres the aspect of climate change.” It’s like a hot potato “we are going to be passing [it?] on to the next generation.”

    Edited for sense and intended meaning.

    Fair play to the tearaway though. Some good coverage there.

  36. insider 37

    Re the $1 bill, I’m surprised Helen Clark didn’t say she would buy a train set. That would have gone down well with the children.

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