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The real apology

Written By: - Date published: 9:44 am, May 15th, 2009 - 34 comments
Categories: humour, law and "order", racism - Tags:

The PM’s office Melissa Lee has released an apology for her ‘crims on the motorway’ comments. Well, not a genuine apology – ‘it was a heated debate’ is the line, which TUMEKE! exposes as a lie and not an excuse anyway.

On Red Alert, Trevor Mallard (who is taking to blogging like, um, a duck to water) relates the rumour that she has been banned by Key from giving any more interviews after this final disaster, in which Lee refused Paul Henry’s repeated offers for her to say she didn’t believe what she said. But we’ve received an email from [email protected] that appears to be Lee’s original apology:

I, Melissa Lee, would like to apologise to the hundreds of thousands of South Aucklanders who were offended by my comments about the proposed Waterview motorway.

It was naive of me to imply that undesirables were unique to South Auckland. There’s also the bogans in Waitakere that I’m also worried about slipping through Mount Albert’s borders with their Holdens, their Woodstock and their Metalicca T-shirts.

It was also naive of me to suggest this motorway would hinder travel for South Aucklanders commuting to Mount Albert for the purposes of burglary. I have now been informed the motorway is designed to make commuting easier, not harder. Nonetheless, this doesn’t mean the dark-skinned felons of Manukau will be darkening our flowerbeds and picket fences in increasing numbers, as I have been reliably advised that they will be incapable of reading the signs indicating the off-ramps to Mount Albert.

Even if the SAS (South Auckland Scum) do sneak through, at least they won’t be stealing our nice cars, as in order to travel on a motorway, they are obviously already in possession of a stolen vehicle.

And by suggesting the motorway would mean criminals would bypass Mount Albert, I never meant it was desirable that these planned criminal activities would be transplanted to whatever nice suburb they end up in. But as it is the Western Ring Route, one can fairly assume they’d go round in a big circle and end up exactly where they came from, where god willing, they will remain.

In targeting South Aucklanders, I never meant to suggest that the less law-abiding races – Maori, Polynesians, and non-Asians – that make up much of the SAS population are criminally inclined. Just that poor people are. But poor people travel by bus, not by car (unless, as discussed, they’ve illegally acquired one). And by gutting the public transport kitty to pay for Waterview, we’re making it harder for those crims to get on the bus to Mount Albert.

As your next Mount Albert electorate MP, my next step will be to build a wall across the southern isthmus so we erase the temptation altogether for those antipodean wet backs to taint the real Auckland.

Vote for me! Vote for Lee!

[Also funny, check out Annette King’s ‘Melissa Key Guide to Crime Busting’]

34 comments on “The real apology ”

  1. Tigger 1

    The humour generated by Lee’s gaffe has been truly hilarious. Thank god the by-election campaign still has weeks to run – the shrill and shallow Lee will be tripping over her tongue again soon.

  2. Zaphod Beeblebrox 2

    First Sarah Palin, now Melissa Lee- us bloggers have been truly blessed.

    [lprent: I’d have to agree with Anita. You should explain the connection that you see in your own mind. BTW: she has written about you on this post. I’d suggest that you get there and explain before you get totally pilloried. ]

    • Anita 2.1

      What do Palin and Lee have in common?

      • felix 2.1.1

        Well, they’re both candidates who were hand picked by their party leadership ahead of other more qualified candidates and whose marketing to the electorate has focused on creating a perception of sex appeal, celebrity and freshness to draw attention away from their severe mental retardation and deep-rooted unpleasantness.

        Either that or something to do with their gender.

  3. Tim Ellis 3

    If Trevor says it’s a rumour, then it must be true. Back in the real world, maybe he started that rumour.

    What interests me is just what threatens the Labour Party so much that it seems the entire front bench is engaged in the war to retain Mount Albert. Seems like a lot of effort to go to if Lee is well behind Shearer in the polls.

    • Kaplan 3.1

      This is much bigger that Mt Albert. Her revelations will haunt her well past the by-election.

    • Pascal's bookie 3.2

      Pointing and laughing Tim. Doesn’t take much effort.

      • ieuan 3.2.1

        Pointing and laughing is how this National government got elected!!

        Now they actually have to do something, and being under the media spot light is not all that easy is it PB?

        It was only a matter of time before the true National party crawled out of the glare of John Keys smiles and folksy joking.

    • Kevin Welsh 3.3

      Do you really believe that rubbish you posted Tim or is it a wind-up?

      If you can’t see the bigger picture on this issue, then why waste so much of your time commenting on so many blogs?

    • lprent 3.4

      Being in opposition gives more spare time to MP’s. So they’re using it. This is one of the reasons why incumbent governments tend to lose by-elections.

      BTW: MP’s are GREAT canvassers

    • r0b 3.5

      If Trevor says it’s a rumour, then it must be true. Back in the real world, maybe he started that rumour.

      Are you accusing Trevor of applying Tim Ellis standards, where if you imagine to yourself that it might not be false, you can state it as fact?

      I doubt it Tim, I think Trevor has higher standards than that.

  4. Pat 5

    Lee is certainly getting all the press, and Labour seem keen to keep her in the spotlight.

    In contrast, Shearer is barely getting heard in the MSM. Worst example was Goff commenting on the Lee gaffe on TV news, with a muted Shearer standing in the background. Couldn’t Shearer speak for himself?

    Labour need to be careful they don’t keep inadvertantly promoting Lee’s profile at the expense of their own candidate.

    • Tim Ellis 5.1

      Quite right, Pat. Labour have gifted Lee a huge profile, and have brought out their entire front bench to attack her. I think they’ve gone too far and there will be a voter backlash of sympathy from Lee.

      Shearer’s a nice guy, but the nice guy image is being lost because of the obsessive behaviour from Labour’s leadership. They have put everything on the line in Mount Albert, and it seems to me their desperation is showing every day.

      • Pascal's bookie 5.1.1

        {point} hahahaha.

        • Tigger 5.1.1.1

          Tim, in the case of your racist attitutudes being outed the phrase ‘any publicity is good publicity’ doesn’t apply…

          • Pat 5.1.1.1.1

            One thing is for certain: there is absolutely no excuses now for Labour to lose Mt Albert. Goff’s career now rests on this result. There is no way back for him if Labour loses the seat.

            • lprent 5.1.1.1.1.1

              It is politics, almost anything can happen. David Shearer could make a set of mistakes (although it seems unlikely). Melissa went from being a viable candidate to being a liability in less than 2 weeks. Who knows, she could bounce back. Or Russell could make some traction and split the progressive vote. It is a long 4 weeks to polling day.

              However you can guarantee that Labour will just keep pushing forward. By-elections are good for being able to focus all resources into an electorate. It has been noticeable that National haven’t been doing that much in Mt Albert. Labour, Greens, and even ACT have been putting effort in.

              • Tim Ellis

                I don’t think Shearer will make any clangers, LP. He’s pretty competent, but very dull. His big problem in my view is that he isn’t getting much news coverage. Goff and Mallard are fronting everything relating to the Mount Albert campaign for him.

          • Tigger 5.1.1.1.2

            Of course I mean ‘attitudes’ and by ‘your’ I don’t mean you I mean Melissa Lee.

  5. Clarke 6

    Keith Ng sums it up beautifully – http://publicaddress.net/5886#post5886

  6. Maynard J 7

    National want Mt Albert voters to look at the bigger picture now.

    Isn’t this a bit daft? When you’re looking at a spanking locally, you don’t try and turn it into a referendum on your government.

    • Maynard J 7.1

      Ah, forgot this link: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/politics/news/article.cfm?c_id=280&objectid=10572485

      “Prime Minister John Key wants Mt Albert voters to consider what the Government is doing, rather than focus on local issues as his candidate Melissa Lee’s campaign goes from bad to worse.

      “Because you live in Mt Albert doesn’t mean that you don’t have a consideration for the big national issues,” Mr Key told Radio New Zealand.”

      So if they lose, we can all point to this and say the obvious.

      Does this strike anyone else as a pointless gambit that only has the potential to embarass?

    • Pat 7.2

      I can see the sense in that strategy.

      Successive polls are showing that in a National vs Labour contest, National are winning hands down.

      In a Shearer vs Lee contest, then Shearer should win hands down.

      A perverse result of Labour throwing so many front benchers into the Mt Albert campaign, is that they are switching the focus back to a National vs Labour debate.

      • Maynard J 7.2.1

        National are unlikely to convince voters to elect Lee because they like what National are doing nationally, if they don’t support Lee locally.

        If they lose, I can now say that Key got his answer, and Mt Albert doesn’t like what National are doing on a National basis, and the defeat has nothing to do with Lee’s gaffes. Pointless gambit, unless you think that Key can pull this one out of the fire despite Lee.

        Labour aren’t throwing front benchers into the campaign any more than National. Who was at Lee’s launch? Who has been throwing his weight behind her on a daily basis? I read more about Key that Goff on this one.

        With Lee taking a desert eagle to her metatarsals there’s been a fair bit to talk about, but no one needs to be thrown in there apart from to take the mickey every now and then.

  7. Artie S 8

    The suggestion is made in the NZ Herald today that it is RUSSEL NORMAN that will benefit from all this. He looks like the goods to me. He is getting wonderful exposure in this campaign as Greens Leader. Everything to gain, nothing to lose.

    He will attract the strategic voter. Also the voter that was disappointed with Labour and is now disgusted with National!

  8. Chris G 9

    Hahahah that paul henry interview with Lee is CLASSIC!

    What a stumbling mess! How many hours of media training and a bit of Crosby/textor spin do you reckon the Nats MPs have been through so far, Particularly the new ones (fact: I know they have as I know one of em’)

    I mean really, now we know the truth… Lee did believe that south aucklanders are criminals. But for fucks sake who was the dope who gave these MPs the WhiteLie101 lecture?

    Paul Henry had to give her about 6 chances to say (lie) and she bungled it up completely! He offered her the easiest way to say something like: “No I didn’t believe it, it was simply said due to the fact it was a heated debate” – Which would have mildly quelled the situation but not erased it from the history books.

    Clap Clap, roll on the Nats. Your doing great boys! Honest!

  9. gobsmacked 10

    (edit – wrong place – sorry!)

  10. rod 11

    Why all the fuss about Melissa Lee, she is just another arrogant Tory MP.

    What’s new.

  11. gobsmacked 12

    Just bringing this up again, as …

    the rumour that she has been banned by Key from giving any more interviews

    … was derided and dismissed by the usual National spinners on here.

    So, an update –

    Fact: Melissa Lee “launched” her Mt Albert campaign today – and the media were banned. (NB can you launch a ship after it’s sunk?)

    Fact: Melissa Lee cancelled an interview on Radio Live this afternoon.

    Enough said.

  12. gobsmacked 13

    Confirming the information I posted above: TV3 story, reporter not allowed to speak to Lee. Had to speak to people delivering leaflets for her instead!

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