The PM’s office Melissa Lee has released an apology for her ‘crims on the motorway’ comments. Well, not a genuine apology – ‘it was a heated debate’ is the line, which TUMEKE! exposes as a lie and not an excuse anyway.
On Red Alert, Trevor Mallard (who is taking to blogging like, um, a duck to water) relates the rumour that she has been banned by Key from giving any more interviews after this final disaster, in which Lee refused Paul Henry’s repeated offers for her to say she didn’t believe what she said. But we’ve received an email from [email protected] that appears to be Lee’s original apology:
I, Melissa Lee, would like to apologise to the hundreds of thousands of South Aucklanders who were offended by my comments about the proposed Waterview motorway.
It was naive of me to imply that undesirables were unique to South Auckland. There’s also the bogans in Waitakere that I’m also worried about slipping through Mount Albert’s borders with their Holdens, their Woodstock and their Metalicca T-shirts.
It was also naive of me to suggest this motorway would hinder travel for South Aucklanders commuting to Mount Albert for the purposes of burglary. I have now been informed the motorway is designed to make commuting easier, not harder. Nonetheless, this doesn’t mean the dark-skinned felons of Manukau will be darkening our flowerbeds and picket fences in increasing numbers, as I have been reliably advised that they will be incapable of reading the signs indicating the off-ramps to Mount Albert.
Even if the SAS (South Auckland Scum) do sneak through, at least they won’t be stealing our nice cars, as in order to travel on a motorway, they are obviously already in possession of a stolen vehicle.
And by suggesting the motorway would mean criminals would bypass Mount Albert, I never meant it was desirable that these planned criminal activities would be transplanted to whatever nice suburb they end up in. But as it is the Western Ring Route, one can fairly assume they’d go round in a big circle and end up exactly where they came from, where god willing, they will remain.
In targeting South Aucklanders, I never meant to suggest that the less law-abiding races – Maori, Polynesians, and non-Asians – that make up much of the SAS population are criminally inclined. Just that poor people are. But poor people travel by bus, not by car (unless, as discussed, they’ve illegally acquired one). And by gutting the public transport kitty to pay for Waterview, we’re making it harder for those crims to get on the bus to Mount Albert.
As your next Mount Albert electorate MP, my next step will be to build a wall across the southern isthmus so we erase the temptation altogether for those antipodean wet backs to taint the real Auckland.
Vote for me! Vote for Lee!
[Also funny, check out Annette King’s ‘Melissa Key Guide to Crime Busting’]