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The slow pols-news day quiz #1

Written By: - Date published: 9:59 am, November 28th, 2008 - 34 comments
Categories: humour - Tags:

Seems there’s so little news today, apart from the Mumbai attacks and the plane crash, that the Herald hasn’t even bothered to update their website. So, I thought we might have a wee quiz instead. 

Who said this, in what context, and are they implying what they seem to be implying?

“If this bill becomes law, I will not be skipping home to my lovely wife and telling her: ‘Just before I came home tonight I popped into the local brothel, because it is legal now, Honey.’ She will have a message for me, and it will not be a very nice one…

I have lived in five countries and visited about 50 during my business career. The sex industry is alive and well”

34 comments on “The slow pols-news day quiz #1”

  1. Pete 1

    That’d be Mr Key.

  2. higherstandard 2

    Correct Pete

    Before people start screeching though they should note the context of the comments and the fact that it’s listed under humour.

    Now two more for ten points who said

    “…..and I say to the Chinese ping pong is coming home…..”

    ” Don’t expect me to come in here like some kind of poodle and rubber stamp their fetishes…..”

  3. insider 3

    Who said this:

    “This was Key’s first major test; his chance to make an impact on the international stage. He gets a partial credit for identifying the problem, and a bonus mark for rhetorical style, but on substance, the important stuff, he fails badly.”

    and who said this?:

    “Key Stands Up At APEC, And Is Counted

    “John Key’s decision to race through the formation of his Govt in order to attend APEC in Peru was fully vindicated by the outcome. Diplomats attending the leaders’ summit report he made a strong impression on leaders with his expert understanding of the global financial crisis. Reports from American and Asian capitals indicate other leaders felt he grasped the essence of the complex APEC agenda and was at home with the detail, as well as the bigger picture.

    “On the strength of Key’s first performance at an international conference officials report several leaders are keen to expand the contact with the PM during bilateral visits, most notably China and Japan.”

  4. Graeme 4

    implying what they seem to be implying?

    That whoever it was was a pimp?

    🙂

  5. Chris G 5

    insider,

    the last three are straight from Crosby/Textor, innit?

    Or is it one of the NZ journos who are still wearing kneepads for Key during this honeymoon?

  6. The ping-pong one was, from memory, Boris Johnson at the Closing Ceremony at Beijing

    The fetishes one – Benson-Pope? (Bearing in mind that the post is tagged “Humour” 😉 )

  7. insider 7

    Chris

    The last three were from a single piece – This week’s Trans Tasman. I forgot to add the question “which commentator is more credible?”

  8. Chris G 8

    Ill send them a fresh pair of kneepads.

    apparently they talked to ‘diplomats’ and heard “Reports from American and Asian capitals” while “officials report several leaders…”

    wow, is that the most vague unsourced wank article? joining the honeymoon brigade at the front of the queue! Anyone can read that article and think they were talking about a superstar

    I appreciate that the Trans Tasman trumpets its impartiality, but spare a thought for the author of the article, no doubt he/she voted in the NZ election. Wonder who he/she voted for? Or are they SO impartial as a cohort of writers, that they abstain from voting?

  9. Lew 9

    Chris G: I’m not sure about this case, but many political journalists don’t vote for this very reason. Or, since it’s unverifiable, they claim they don’t vote and we must take the claim on faith.

    L

  10. gobsmacked 10

    Next, who said this?

    “Tackling climate change requires global action, and New Zealand should stand up and be counted in the battle.”

  11. higherstandard 11

    IV2

    Ping pong is Boris Johnson see below

    Fetishes was John Banks screeching about the homosexual law reform – it was comic genius (except he was being serious)

  12. Chris G 12

    Lew,

    Although it is mildly anecdotal, a friend of mine is at the journalism school in Chch, and he informed me that the journos who come and talk to them (From the 2 major TV channels) – do indeed vote, and apparently they make no huge secret of it.

  13. insider 13

    Chris

    They obviously didn’t speak to leading NZ diplomat Steve Pierson…

  14. Tigger 14

    I don’t even understand Key’s point. So he was implying the law would make it mandatory to hire sex workers? If this is what he thinks is comedy he really needs to rent some Monty Python episodes…

    Speaking of funny ‘John Key stands up at APEC’? Bwha-ha-ha-ha! Now that’s funny.

  15. Scribe 15

    Tigger,

    I don’t even understand Key’s point.

    What a surprise.

    Key’s point is that making something legal can be construed as saying that it is also okay, i.e. now that prostitution is legal, it must be acceptable practice.

    It’s a fear many people had — and still have — about the prostitution law reform legislation. Anyone else here the comments from the shopkeepers in Papatoetoe? Case in point.

    captcha: Signed Davis (which one?)

  16. Phil 16

    Tigger,

    History looks kindly on MPFC. The 5% that we see on Youtube and compilation DVD’s is hilarious, the other 95% of what they put together was utter shite.

  17. Lew 17

    Phil: Wash your mouth out.

    L

  18. insider. quite the grump aren’t we today?

    Key voted for the Prostitution Reform Bill, just about his last liberal vote, he’s saying decriminalising it wouldn’t increase prostitution.

    His comments about the international sex industry could be read as a bit dubious but I’m sure that’s not how he meant it.

  19. Rex Widerstrom 19

    Lew, there’s only one thing to do with a heretic like Phil.

    As for the quotes thing, I was going to offer up something by Sarah Palin but that’d be too obvious. I do like “I’m the mayor, I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can’t” though. I’ll bet Banksy has her photo and that quote framed on his desk 😀

    So continuing on the theme started by higherstandard, I offer:

    We understand the importance of having bondage between parents and their children

    My all-time favourite quote isn’t from a politician but an advisor to one, from Mike Murphy, who worked for perennial Presidential candidate Lamar Alexander:

    The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.

  20. Pascal's bookie 20

    Graham Capill?

  21. higherstandard 21

    Rex I believe it’s the same person who said…..

    “What a waste it is to lose one’s mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.”

    One Dan Quayle – who made even GW Bush look like a member of Mensa.

    More Quaylisms here

    http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Dan_Quayle/

  22. Rex Widerstrom 22

    Yep, HS, you got it. The same guy who approached a woman, shook hands, introduced himself and asked her name. Only to be told, “I’m your Secret Service agent”.

    Given how Mr Key’s failings seem to vex SP so greatly, he’s probably fortunate he didn’t blog under a Quayle vice-presidency. I suspect the shops would be sold out of Nurofen (or aromatherapy oils) 😀

  23. Tigger 23

    By the way, how does Key know so much about the various sex industries around the world. It’s not something one normally acquaints themselves with, unless they want to use said industries…

    Why does the right get so righteous about sex work anyway – they’re the sex industry’s best clients!

  24. Lew 24

    Tigger: Nothing implies he’s familiar with sex industries – in most parts of the world, including NZ before and after the PRA, it’s bloody obvious to anyone who cares to pay attention.

    L

  25. Felix 25

    Scribe what part of the quote suggested that interpretation?

    If you read it again I think you’ll find that you missed the word “not” on your first reading, rendering your interpretation 180 degrees from what Key intended.

    I think this happens quite a lot with Key’s supporters though, they assume he’s saying what they want to hear even when he’s saying the opposite.

  26. insider 26

    Tigger

    I am aware of the industries in Bangkok and Amsterdam and London and Wellington and Auckland and Christchurch; doesn’t mean I am ‘familiar’ with them or any of the workers 🙂

  27. Scribe 27

    Felix,

    Key was saying he won’t be doing that, but makes the point that some people will construe that legal = OK.

  28. bill brown 28

    Maybe, Scribe, it’s legal because it is OK.

    Or are you going to bring up the “I know better what people should do with their own bodies” argument.

  29. higherstandard 29

    Bill it’s also legal to drink yourself into insensibility and smoke yourself into an early grave that doesn’t make it OK though.

  30. bill brown 30

    HS,

    I didn’t think either of these things used to be illegal but have now been made legal.

    I also don’t think having sex is bad for you.

  31. higherstandard 31

    Bill

    Your comment was “Maybe it’s legal because it’s OK” – the point I was trying to make was that just because something is legal doesn’t mean that it’s OK.

    ……..and on the contrary having sex can be very bad for you.

  32. Pascal's bookie 32

    Yeah, it drains your precious bodily fluids.

  33. higherstandard 33

    Quite right PB

    I was, however, referring to the 30 million or so that have died from AIDS and similar number living with AIDs when I made the comment – not to mention the other STDs that are about.

  34. bill brown 34

    PB, I thought that was only when wanking.

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