web analytics

The slow pols-news day quiz #1

Written By: - Date published: 9:59 am, November 28th, 2008 - 34 comments
Categories: humour - Tags:

Seems there’s so little news today, apart from the Mumbai attacks and the plane crash, that the Herald hasn’t even bothered to update their website. So, I thought we might have a wee quiz instead. 

Who said this, in what context, and are they implying what they seem to be implying?

“If this bill becomes law, I will not be skipping home to my lovely wife and telling her: ‘Just before I came home tonight I popped into the local brothel, because it is legal now, Honey.’ She will have a message for me, and it will not be a very nice one…

I have lived in five countries and visited about 50 during my business career. The sex industry is alive and well”

34 comments on “The slow pols-news day quiz #1”

  1. Pete 1

    That’d be Mr Key.

  2. higherstandard 2

    Correct Pete

    Before people start screeching though they should note the context of the comments and the fact that it’s listed under humour.

    Now two more for ten points who said

    “…..and I say to the Chinese ping pong is coming home…..”

    ” Don’t expect me to come in here like some kind of poodle and rubber stamp their fetishes…..”

  3. insider 3

    Who said this:

    “This was Key’s first major test; his chance to make an impact on the international stage. He gets a partial credit for identifying the problem, and a bonus mark for rhetorical style, but on substance, the important stuff, he fails badly.”

    and who said this?:

    “Key Stands Up At APEC, And Is Counted

    “John Key’s decision to race through the formation of his Govt in order to attend APEC in Peru was fully vindicated by the outcome. Diplomats attending the leaders’ summit report he made a strong impression on leaders with his expert understanding of the global financial crisis. Reports from American and Asian capitals indicate other leaders felt he grasped the essence of the complex APEC agenda and was at home with the detail, as well as the bigger picture.

    “On the strength of Key’s first performance at an international conference officials report several leaders are keen to expand the contact with the PM during bilateral visits, most notably China and Japan.”

  4. Graeme 4

    implying what they seem to be implying?

    That whoever it was was a pimp?

    🙂

  5. Chris G 5

    insider,

    the last three are straight from Crosby/Textor, innit?

    Or is it one of the NZ journos who are still wearing kneepads for Key during this honeymoon?

  6. The ping-pong one was, from memory, Boris Johnson at the Closing Ceremony at Beijing

    The fetishes one – Benson-Pope? (Bearing in mind that the post is tagged “Humour” 😉 )

  7. insider 7

    Chris

    The last three were from a single piece – This week’s Trans Tasman. I forgot to add the question “which commentator is more credible?”

  8. Chris G 8

    Ill send them a fresh pair of kneepads.

    apparently they talked to ‘diplomats’ and heard “Reports from American and Asian capitals” while “officials report several leaders…”

    wow, is that the most vague unsourced wank article? joining the honeymoon brigade at the front of the queue! Anyone can read that article and think they were talking about a superstar

    I appreciate that the Trans Tasman trumpets its impartiality, but spare a thought for the author of the article, no doubt he/she voted in the NZ election. Wonder who he/she voted for? Or are they SO impartial as a cohort of writers, that they abstain from voting?

  9. Lew 9

    Chris G: I’m not sure about this case, but many political journalists don’t vote for this very reason. Or, since it’s unverifiable, they claim they don’t vote and we must take the claim on faith.

    L

  10. gobsmacked 10

    Next, who said this?

    “Tackling climate change requires global action, and New Zealand should stand up and be counted in the battle.”

  11. higherstandard 11

    IV2

    Ping pong is Boris Johnson see below

    Fetishes was John Banks screeching about the homosexual law reform – it was comic genius (except he was being serious)

  12. Chris G 12

    Lew,

    Although it is mildly anecdotal, a friend of mine is at the journalism school in Chch, and he informed me that the journos who come and talk to them (From the 2 major TV channels) – do indeed vote, and apparently they make no huge secret of it.

  13. insider 13

    Chris

    They obviously didn’t speak to leading NZ diplomat Steve Pierson…

  14. Tigger 14

    I don’t even understand Key’s point. So he was implying the law would make it mandatory to hire sex workers? If this is what he thinks is comedy he really needs to rent some Monty Python episodes…

    Speaking of funny ‘John Key stands up at APEC’? Bwha-ha-ha-ha! Now that’s funny.

  15. Scribe 15

    Tigger,

    I don’t even understand Key’s point.

    What a surprise.

    Key’s point is that making something legal can be construed as saying that it is also okay, i.e. now that prostitution is legal, it must be acceptable practice.

    It’s a fear many people had — and still have — about the prostitution law reform legislation. Anyone else here the comments from the shopkeepers in Papatoetoe? Case in point.

    captcha: Signed Davis (which one?)

  16. Phil 16

    Tigger,

    History looks kindly on MPFC. The 5% that we see on Youtube and compilation DVD’s is hilarious, the other 95% of what they put together was utter shite.

  17. Lew 17

    Phil: Wash your mouth out.

    L

  18. insider. quite the grump aren’t we today?

    Key voted for the Prostitution Reform Bill, just about his last liberal vote, he’s saying decriminalising it wouldn’t increase prostitution.

    His comments about the international sex industry could be read as a bit dubious but I’m sure that’s not how he meant it.

  19. Rex Widerstrom 19

    Lew, there’s only one thing to do with a heretic like Phil.

    As for the quotes thing, I was going to offer up something by Sarah Palin but that’d be too obvious. I do like “I’m the mayor, I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can’t” though. I’ll bet Banksy has her photo and that quote framed on his desk 😀

    So continuing on the theme started by higherstandard, I offer:

    We understand the importance of having bondage between parents and their children

    My all-time favourite quote isn’t from a politician but an advisor to one, from Mike Murphy, who worked for perennial Presidential candidate Lamar Alexander:

    The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.

  20. Pascal's bookie 20

    Graham Capill?

  21. higherstandard 21

    Rex I believe it’s the same person who said…..

    “What a waste it is to lose one’s mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.”

    One Dan Quayle – who made even GW Bush look like a member of Mensa.

    More Quaylisms here

    http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Dan_Quayle/

  22. Rex Widerstrom 22

    Yep, HS, you got it. The same guy who approached a woman, shook hands, introduced himself and asked her name. Only to be told, “I’m your Secret Service agent”.

    Given how Mr Key’s failings seem to vex SP so greatly, he’s probably fortunate he didn’t blog under a Quayle vice-presidency. I suspect the shops would be sold out of Nurofen (or aromatherapy oils) 😀

  23. Tigger 23

    By the way, how does Key know so much about the various sex industries around the world. It’s not something one normally acquaints themselves with, unless they want to use said industries…

    Why does the right get so righteous about sex work anyway – they’re the sex industry’s best clients!

  24. Lew 24

    Tigger: Nothing implies he’s familiar with sex industries – in most parts of the world, including NZ before and after the PRA, it’s bloody obvious to anyone who cares to pay attention.

    L

  25. Felix 25

    Scribe what part of the quote suggested that interpretation?

    If you read it again I think you’ll find that you missed the word “not” on your first reading, rendering your interpretation 180 degrees from what Key intended.

    I think this happens quite a lot with Key’s supporters though, they assume he’s saying what they want to hear even when he’s saying the opposite.

  26. insider 26

    Tigger

    I am aware of the industries in Bangkok and Amsterdam and London and Wellington and Auckland and Christchurch; doesn’t mean I am ‘familiar’ with them or any of the workers 🙂

  27. Scribe 27

    Felix,

    Key was saying he won’t be doing that, but makes the point that some people will construe that legal = OK.

  28. bill brown 28

    Maybe, Scribe, it’s legal because it is OK.

    Or are you going to bring up the “I know better what people should do with their own bodies” argument.

  29. higherstandard 29

    Bill it’s also legal to drink yourself into insensibility and smoke yourself into an early grave that doesn’t make it OK though.

  30. bill brown 30

    HS,

    I didn’t think either of these things used to be illegal but have now been made legal.

    I also don’t think having sex is bad for you.

  31. higherstandard 31

    Bill

    Your comment was “Maybe it’s legal because it’s OK” – the point I was trying to make was that just because something is legal doesn’t mean that it’s OK.

    ……..and on the contrary having sex can be very bad for you.

  32. Pascal's bookie 32

    Yeah, it drains your precious bodily fluids.

  33. higherstandard 33

    Quite right PB

    I was, however, referring to the 30 million or so that have died from AIDS and similar number living with AIDs when I made the comment – not to mention the other STDs that are about.

  34. bill brown 34

    PB, I thought that was only when wanking.

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Wellington rail upgrade full steam ahead
    Transport Minister Phil Twyford today announced construction is underway on Wellington commuter rail upgrades which will mean more frequent services and fewer breakdowns. The upgrades include converting the Trentham to Upper Hutt single track section to a double track, with a new signalling system, upgraded stations and level crossings, and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    29 mins ago
  • Defence Climate Change Implementation Plan released
    Minister of Defence Ron Mark and Minister for Climate Change James Shaw have announced the release of a Defence Climate Change Implementation Work Plan, titled Responding to the Climate Crisis: An Implementation Plan.  The plan sets out a series of recommendations based on the 2018 New Zealand Defence Assessment, The ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    30 mins ago
  • Govt releases funding to support South Canterbury
    A medium-scale adverse event has been declared for the South Canterbury district, which will see up to $50,000 in funding made available to support farming communities which have been significantly affected by recent heavy rain and flooding in the area, says Agriculture Minister Damien O’Connor. “Two weeks of solid rain ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    19 hours ago
  • Govt pledges next steps on plastic waste
    The Government will phase out more single-use plastics following the success of its single-use plastic bag ban earlier this year and the release today of a pivotal report for dealing with waste. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has welcomed the Rethinking Plastics in Aotearoa New Zealandreport, released by her Chief Science Advisor ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • International student enrolments grow in universities and the regions
    International education continues to thrive as the Government focuses on quality over quantity, Education Minister Chris Hipkins said. The tuition revenue from international education increased to $1.16 billion last year with the average tuition fee per student increasing by $960. The total number of international students enrolled in New Zealand ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • DHB leadership renewed and strengthened
    Health Minister Dr David Clark says new appointments to DHBs represent a significant changing of the guard, with 13 new chairs including four Māori chairs. Today 76 appointments have been announced to complement elected board members, as well as eight elected members appointed as either chair or deputy chair.  Four ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Tabuteau to advance New Zealand’s trade and political interests with European partners
    Parliamentary Under-Secretary for Foreign Affairs, Fletcher Tabuteau, is travelling to Germany, Poland, Austria, and Spain next week to bolster New Zealand’s political and trade relationships in Europe. While in Spain, Mr Tabuteau will represent New Zealand at the 14th Asia-Europe (ASEM) Foreign Ministers’ Meeting in Madrid. “New Zealand strongly supports ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Statement from the Prime Minister on Kris Faafoi
    “I’ve spoken to Minister Faafoi, who has apologised for his poor handling of this issue,” Jacinda Ardern said. “I have confidence in Kris as a hardworking and effective Minister, but this should have been dealt with in a much clearer manner, and I’ve made my views on that very clear ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Tonga-New Zealand Joint Ministerial Forum
    Deputy Prime Minister Winston Peters met with Tongan Prime Minister and Foreign Minister Pohiva Tu'i'onetoa in Wellington today. The pair signed a Statement of Partnership setting out joint priorities for cooperation out to 2023.  “We welcomed Prime Minister Tu'i'onetoa on his first visit to New Zealand as Prime Minister. Tonga ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Shooting in Kurow
    The Minister of Police Stuart Nash says his sympathies are with the family of a man who died after being shot by Police in Kurow. “Initial reports are that Police were called by a family member to help the man who was threatening to harm himself,” Mr Nash says. “However ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Government delivers funding boost for ethnic communities
    Ethnic communities will be able to plan and deliver more community initiatives thanks to an increase in Government funding, Minister for Ethnic Communities Hon Jenny Salesa said today. “Ensuring Aotearoa New Zealand is a place we can all be proud to call home has been a key priority of our ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Govt supports Southland farmers in sustainability
    Healthier waterways, better productivity and farmer wellbeing are front and centre in a new project involving more than 1000 Southland farmers and growers. Minister of Agriculture Damien O’Connor today announced that the Thriving Southland Change and Innovation Project is the first region-wide extension programme supported by the $229 million Sustainable ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Flood of support for Top of the South catchment
    Work to look after nature and restore freshwater quality in Te Hoiere/Pelorus River catchment is getting a significant boost, thanks to new Government funding support Minister for Conservation Eugenie Sage announced in Canvastown today. “Every New Zealander should be able to swim in their local river without getting sick, and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Eight Queen’s Counsel appointed under new criterion
    Eight Queen’s Counsel have been appointed under a process that includes the new criterion of a commitment to improving access to justice, Attorney-General David Parker announced today. “The new criterion was included this year. It emphasises that excellence and leadership in the profession can be seen through a wider, community ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Major expansion for Wellington’s Onslow College
    Onslow College in Wellington will get 20 new classrooms for more than 400 students, Education Minister Chris Hipkins announced today. The much-needed investment will relieve growth pressure the school has been experiencing for some time. Seven existing classrooms which have deteriorated over time will also be replaced, bringing the total ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Talented young Kiwis awarded PM’s Scholarships to Asia and Latin America
    More than 250 young New Zealanders will add international experience to their education, thanks to the latest Prime Minister’s Scholarships for Asia (PMSA) and Latin America (PMSLA), Education Minister Chris Hipkins announced today. This round of scholarships supports 252 recent graduates or current students to undertake study, research or internships ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Government to improve competitiveness and transparency in the retail fuel market
    Consumers will benefit from a more competitive, transparent retail fuel market as a result of changes the Government will be making in response to the findings of the Commerce Commission’s study of the fuel sector. “We accept the Commission’s findings and, as the Prime Minister has said, we’re ready to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • More cancer medicines for more people
    Five new cancer medicines have now been funded this year, meaning thousands of people have more treatment options PHARMAC has today announced that it has approved two new medicines for funding – fulvestrant for breast cancer and olaparib for ovarian cancer. This follows earlier decisions on advanced lung cancer treatment alectinib, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Government acts to sort out electoral ‘coin toss’ problem
    The Minister of Local Government, Hon Nanaia Mahuta says the Government will consider making changes to local electoral legislation before the 2022 elections to fix the problems that have arisen where elections are settled by a coin toss.  The Minister says the recount process in the Murupara- Galatea ward at ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • NZ to Join IMO Convention to Reduce Ship Emissions
    New Zealand will sign up to new international maritime regulations to reduce ship emissions and lift air quality around ports and harbours, Associate Transport Minister Julie Anne Genter announced today. Subject to completion of the Parliamentary treaty examination process, New Zealand will sign up to Annex VI of MARPOL, an ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Bill to empower urban development projects
    New legislation to transform our urban areas and create sustainable, inclusive and thriving communities will tomorrow be introduced to Parliament, Urban Development Minister Phil Twyford said. “The Urban Development Bill gives Kāinga Ora-Homes and Communities the tools it needs to partner with councils, communities, mana whenua and private developers to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Early Learning Action Plan to kickstart long term change
    Today’s launch of He taonga te Tamaiti: Every child a taonga: The Early Learning Action Plan 2019-2029 provides the foundation for long-lasting changes to early learning, Education Minister Chris Hipkins says.   “Early learning will be one of the Government’s top education priorities going into 2020,” Chris Hipkins said.   ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Climate change lens on major Government decisions
    Major decisions made by the Government will now be considered under a climate change lens, Minister for Climate Change James Shaw announced today. “Cabinet routinely considers the effects of its decisions on human rights, the Treaty of Waitangi, rural communities, the disability community, and gender – now climate change will ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • New Tertiary Education Commission Board announced
    Education Minister Chris Hipkins today announced the appointment of Māori education specialist Dr Wayne Ngata and Business NZ head Kirk Hope to the Board of the Tertiary Education Commission (TEC). Dr Alastair MacCormick has been reappointed for another term. “Wayne Ngata, Kirk Hope and Alastair MacCormick bring a great deal ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Next phase of Pike River recovery underway in time for Christmas
    The next phase of the Pike River Re-entry project is underway, Minister Responsible for Pike River Re-entry Andrew Little says. “Fresh air will be pumped into the Pike River Mine drift this week, following acceptance of the plan for re-entry beyond the 170m barrier by New Zealand’s independent health and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Insurance contracts to become easier to understand and fairer for consumers
    New Zealand consumers will have greater certainty about their insurance cover when they need to make claims as a result of proposed government changes. “Insurance is vitally important in supporting consumers and businesses to be financially resilient when unexpected events happen,” Minister of Commerce and Consumer Affairs Kris Faafoi said. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • A new opportunity for Ngāpuhi collective and regional negotiations
    The Crown is providing an opportunity for the hapu of Ngāpuhi to rebuild its framework from the ground up for collective negotiations to deal with its historical Treaty claims, Minister for Treaty of Waitangi Negotiations Andrew Little and Minister for Māori Development Nanaia Mahuta announced today. The Crown is also ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Referendums Framework Bill passes third reading
    A Bill enabling referendums to be held with the 2020 General Election has passed its third reading. Justice Minister Andrew Little says the Act is important for upholding the integrity of New Zealand’s electoral process. “The Government has committed to holding a referendum on legalising recreational cannabis at the next ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Referendums website and initial cannabis Bill launched
    The first release of public information on the two referendums to be held at next year’s General Election was made today with an informative new Government website going live. Additionally, the draft Cannabis Legalisation and Control Bill has been released, showing the strict controls on cannabis that will apply if ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Government to ban foreign donations
    The Government is taking action to protect New Zealand from foreign interference in our elections by banning foreign donations to political parties and candidates, Justice Minister Andrew Little announced today. Legislation will be introduced to Parliament this afternoon and passed under urgency. “There’s no need for anyone other than New ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Governments and tech converge to strengthen joint response to online terror events
    Governments and tech companies are holding a two-day workshop, hosted by YouTube/Google in Wellington, to test the Christchurch Call Shared Crisis Response Protocol. The workshop aims to refine and strengthen the response in the event of a terrorist attack with online implications. Companies, governments, civil society experts and NGOs will ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Cancer Control Agency to drive improved care
    The new independent Cancer Control Agency has formally opened today, delivering on the Government’s plan to improve cancer care in New Zealand.         Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and Minister of Health David Clark marked the occasion by announcing the membership of the Advisory Council that will be supporting ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Supporting small business to prosper
    Small businesses who deal with government departments are set to be paid faster and have improved cash flow as a result, under a new strategy released today. The Government is backing recommendations from the Small Business Council (SBC) and has agreed to implement three initiatives immediately to support business and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Bill has biggest education changes in decades
    The Education and Training Bill 2019, introduced in Parliament today, proposes the biggest education changes in decades and is an important step towards improving success for all our learners, Education Minister Chris Hipkins said. “The Bill’s rewrite of education legislation is long overdue. Indeed one Education Act, parts of which ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Bali Democracy Forum to focus on democracy and inclusivity
    Minister for Pacific Peoples Aupito William Sio will travel to Bali to represent New Zealand at the 12th Bali Democracy Forum that will be held on the 5-6 December. “The Forum is a valuable opportunity for Asia-Pacific countries to share experiences and best practice in building home-grown democracy and fostering ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Innovative technology and tools to better manage freedom camping
    A package of new and expanded technology and other tools will encourage responsible camping and help communities and local councils better manage freedom camping this summer, Tourism Minister Kelvin Davis announced today. “Our Government has been investing to improve the freedom camping experience for everyone because we want to support ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Improving wellbeing by understanding our genes
    The government is laying the groundwork to understanding our genes – work that can help us tackle some of our biggest health challenges, like heart disease and diabetes, says Research, Science and Innovation Minister Megan Woods. $4.7 million has been invested in the Genomics Aotearoa Rakeiora programme. The programme will ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Government investing to future proof school property
    Nearly every state schools will receive a capital injection next year valued at $693 per student to bring forward urgent school property improvements, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and Education Minister Chris Hipkins announced today.  The one-off cash injection is the first project to be announced from the Government’s infrastructure package ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Infrastructure investments to be brought forward
    The Government has decided to bring forward major investments in New Zealand’s infrastructure to future proof the economy. “Cabinet has agreed to a significant boost to infrastructure investment. I have directed the Treasury to help bring together a package of projects that can be brought into the Government’s short and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Future-proofing New Zealand
    It is a great pleasure to be with you today in Whanganui. Like the Prime Minister I grew up with the TV clip of Selwyn Toogood booming “What do you say Whanganui, the money or the bag?” to an unsuspecting ‘It’s in the Bag’ audience. For those under the age ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago