web analytics

The Standard wager

Written By: - Date published: 2:38 pm, January 14th, 2009 - 23 comments
Categories: humour, Media - Tags:

John Key has announced his ‘jobs summit’ at the end of Feburary saying “I don’t want this to be a talk fest, I want it to be a do-fest.”

“Do-fest”, eh? Sounds sexy.

Place your bets on which media commentator will be the first to enthusiastically adopt or warmly commend this latest meaningless piece of rhetoric from Key’s spin doctors.

23 comments on “The Standard wager ”

  1. the sprout 1

    ooh ooh, i vote:

    Guyon “I Don’t Think the Hollow Man Will Affect Don Brash’s Role as Leader of the National Party” Espiner.

  2. Carol 2


    The summit would take place in Auckland on February 27 and be open to various sectors, from unions, to business and government.

    It would be chaired by a yet-to-be-announced “private sector person”, who was already at work.


    Hasn’t Fran O’Sullivan already pre-empted the Key rhetoric before it even was spoke publicly?… and warmly commended it – at 4.00am this morning it seems – can’t be more enthusiastic than that.


    Prime Minister John Key plans a jobs summit as part of what he labels a “rolling maul” of initiatives to try to keep as many New Zealanders in work as possible during 2009.

    She seems to have the “rolling maul” rugby metaphor that was included in today’s non-announcement.

    I guess Key’s just waiting to see what Obama will do, then he will try to kiwify the US rhetoric.

  3. Sean Coombs 3

    How about Colin ‘The Government can’t affect wages’ Espiner?

  4. DeeDub 4

    Isn’t a ‘do-fest’ only one ‘do’ away from being in the s**t?

  5. Mike 5

    I thought ‘talk-fests’ were a waste of taxpayer money, or is that only for trivial matters like the the families commission and domestic violence?

  6. SPC 6

    So I suppose this means Fran has been outed as the friendly media commentator who John calls to keep informed.

    Obama needs a White House dog (all leaders of the free world have one) but one with a low allergy impact and Key needs his own poodle to bark the right approval noises on demand.

  7. mike 7

    fest could replace gate – but lets not forget the classics:

    sanfran airport-gate
    + some others

    Was there a common factor in these?

  8. Anita 8

    It’ll have to be a print journo way too risky to try to say it on radio or telly.

  9. Felix 9

    Was there a common factor in these?

    Yep, they’re all phrases which have only been used by the linguistically, grammatically and historically challenged.

  10. I think do-fest is too stupid and clumsy a phrase for even our abominable media to repeat outside of direct quote…

  11. Matthew Pilott 11

    …from Key’s spin doctors.

    A ‘do-fest’? Sod off SP, there’s no way a spin-doctor came up with that one, a tuppence says that came from Key himself.

    I’d almost wager C/T do some pro-bono work for Key, that’s just embarrassing. Imagine, you work with a guy intimately for over a year, his first chance comes up to show what he’s learned, and he comes up with that…

  12. Kevin is on holiday.

  13. greenfly 13


  14. Kerry 14

    Embarrased for the NZ Media the way they were virtually licking keys arse today “the prime minister was looking tanned and well rested and ready to tackle the economic crisis” Oh please!!!!!!!!! Hes been skiving off for 4 weeks doing fucking nothing……but we had better get used to that!

    And yippy…cant wait for all those jobs that will come out of Keys talkfest….just what we needed another meeting!

  15. sally 15

    I’m seeing the Knowledge Wave all over again…

  16. Pascal's bookie 16

    I think do-fest is too stupid and clumsy a phrase for even our abominable media to repeat outside of direct quote

    I guess they were were thinking of the old ‘more doey, less hui’ . Trust the nats to turn a nice colloquilism like that into ‘doofus’.

    In any case, it’s a fncking talkfest ffs. What exactly are they going to do there? I wonder if anyone will ask them. Perhaps they could put clips of themselves on youtube not talking to anybody at a jobs summit.

    ‘a rolling maul of initiatives’. Drop kick me jesus.

  17. Damn, too late to place a bet. I think Fran won with “Jobs summit crucial step in the right direction”:


  18. Bill 18

    The Herald’s articles are bizarre.

    Firstly, Fran would have us believe that John has sense a of urgency. “Key, who flew back to Auckland overnight from his Hawaiian holiday pad” I can just envisage the stressful haste as John donned his ‘Key Man’ super hero cape before dashing to catch that last minute night plane.

    Apparently he forgot to go to the toilet before boarding though.


    As John Armstrong reliably informs us Key hit the ground running. A desperate hobbling ‘rush’ to the nearest bog seems the likely explanation ’cause all he did, according to Armstrong, was announce an “Employment Summit” next month? Following on from his “Job Summit”? So confusing when your desperate, but wait!….. What a relief!

    Meetings about meetings anyone?

    Top of the agenda, arranging a meeting to discuss the possibility of a summit on toilet seat etiquette perhaps?

  19. Lew 19

    PB: ‘more doey, less hui’

    This was my thought as well.

    Question is: what can they actually do without parliament? Isn’t a party summit the definition of `talk-fest’?


  20. jason 20

    even more meaningless is one news presentation of the summit. “Shonky has returned from holiday to announce his plan; to have a summit.” We are all saved.

  21. Matthew Pilott 21

    Lew – fewer hui? (Not really National’s style, the old ‘fewer’, I guess)

  22. hi.. again..

    Re: “Do-fest”

    has me wondering some.. because my partners originated the term e-DO (in-house back then it was i-DO till modesty imposed itself on mindful folks). the in use the DO bit does not, of course, interpret anything like the “do-fest” substitute connotation — more mathematical, rational. logical and learned than this weaker, lowercased variety — in other words it achieves by direction..

    come to think of it.. literally.. maybe that is exactly what enzed needs right now.. but then of course.. and in the wider context operative it WILL cost.. though yes, not be so-called predicated economic methods..

Links to post

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Project protects jobs and nature
    A Waitomo-based Jobs for Nature project will keep up to ten people employed in the village as the tourism sector recovers post Covid-19 Conservation Minister Kiri Allan says. “This $500,000 project will save ten local jobs by deploying workers from Discover Waitomo into nature-based jobs. They will be undertaking local ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    12 hours ago
  • Minister Shaw speaks with U.S. Presidential Envoy John Kerry
    Minister for Climate Change, James Shaw spoke yesterday with President Biden’s Special Presidential Envoy for Climate John Kerry. “I was delighted to have the opportunity to speak with Mr. Kerry this morning about the urgency with which our governments must confront the climate emergency. I am grateful to him and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    14 hours ago
  • Minister of Foreign Affairs makes three diplomatic appointments
    Foreign Affairs Minister Hon Nanaia Mahuta today announced three diplomatic appointments: Alana Hudson as Ambassador to Poland John Riley as Consul-General to Hong Kong Stephen Wong as Consul-General to Shanghai   Poland “New Zealand’s relationship with Poland is built on enduring personal, economic and historical connections. Poland is also an important ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    15 hours ago
  • Major redevelopment of Wainuiomata High School underway
    Work begins today at Wainuiomata High School to ensure buildings and teaching spaces are fit for purpose, Education Minister Chris Hipkins says. The Minister joined principal Janette Melrose and board chair Lynda Koia to kick off demolition for the project, which is worth close to $40 million, as the site ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    18 hours ago
  • New expert group appointed to advise Government on Oranga Tamariki
    A skilled and experienced group of people have been named as the newly established Oranga Tamariki Ministerial Advisory Board by Children’s Minister Kelvin Davis today. The Board will provide independent advice and assurance to the Minister for Children across three key areas of Oranga Tamariki: relationships with families, whānau, and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    22 hours ago
  • COVID-19 vaccine slated for possible approval next week
    The green light for New Zealand’s first COVID-19 vaccine could be granted in just over a week, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern said today. “We’re making swift progress towards vaccinating New Zealanders against the virus, but we’re also absolutely committed to ensuring the vaccines are safe and effective,” Jacinda Ardern said. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • New ACC Board members announced.
    The Minister for ACC is pleased to announce the appointment of three new members to join the Board of ACC on 1 February 2021. “All three bring diverse skills and experience to provide strong governance oversight to lead the direction of ACC” said Hon Carmel Sepuloni. Bella Takiari-Brame from Hamilton ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Economic boost for Southland marae
    The Government is investing $9 million to upgrade a significant community facility in Invercargill, creating economic stimulus and jobs, Infrastructure Minister Grant Robertson and Te Tai Tonga MP Rino Tirikatene have announced.  The grant for Waihōpai Rūnaka Inc to make improvements to Murihiku Marae comes from the $3 billion set ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Celebrating the Entry Into Force of the Treaty on the Prohibition of Nuclear Weapons
    [Opening comments, welcome and thank you to Auckland University etc] It is a great pleasure to be here this afternoon to celebrate such an historic occasion - the entry into force of the Treaty on the Prohibition of Nuclear Weapons. This is a moment many feared would never come, but ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Supporting disabled people to stay connected
    The Government is providing $3 million in one-off seed funding to help disabled people around New Zealand stay connected and access support in their communities, Minister for Disability Issues, Carmel Sepuloni announced today. The funding will allow disability service providers to develop digital and community-based solutions over the next two ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Voluntary saliva testing offered to quarantine workers from Monday
    Border workers in quarantine facilities will be offered voluntary daily COVID-19 saliva tests in addition to their regular weekly testing, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. This additional option will be rolled out at the Jet Park Quarantine facility in Auckland starting on Monday 25 January, and then to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Next steps in firearms buy-back
    The next steps in the Government’s ambitious firearms reform programme to include a three-month buy-back have been announced by Police Minister Poto Williams today.  “The last buy-back and amnesty was unprecedented for New Zealand and was successful in collecting 60,297 firearms, modifying a further 5,630 firearms, and collecting 299,837 prohibited ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Jobs for Nature projects target iconic ecosystems
    Upscaling work already underway to restore two iconic ecosystems will deliver jobs and a lasting legacy, Conservation Minister Kiri Allan says.  “The Jobs for Nature programme provides $1.25 billion over four years to offer employment opportunities for people whose livelihoods have been impacted by the COVID-19 recession. “Two new projects ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • New Public Housing Plan announced
    The Government has released its Public Housing Plan 2021-2024 which outlines the intention of where 8,000 additional public and transitional housing places announced in Budget 2020, will go. “The Government is committed to continuing its public house build programme at pace and scale. The extra 8,000 homes – 6000 public ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Prime Minister congratulates President Joe Biden on his inauguration
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has congratulated President Joe Biden on his inauguration as the 46th President of the United States of America. “I look forward to building a close relationship with President Biden and working with him on issues that matter to both our countries,” Jacinda Ardern said. “New Zealand ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Jobs for Nature funding will create training and employment opportunities
    A major investment to tackle wilding pines in Mt Richmond will create jobs and help protect the area’s unique ecosystems, Biosecurity Minister Damien O’Connor says. The Mt Richmond Forest Park has unique ecosystems developed on mineral-rich geology, including taonga plant species found nowhere else in the country. “These special plant ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Pre-departure testing extended to all passengers to New Zealand
    To further protect New Zealand from COVID-19, the Government is extending pre-departure testing to all passengers to New Zealand except from Australia, Antarctica and most Pacific Islands, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “The change will come into force for all flights arriving in New Zealand after 11:59pm (NZT) on Monday ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Bay Cadets learn skills to protect environment
    Bay Conservation Cadets launched with first intake Supported with $3.5 million grant Part of $1.245b Jobs for Nature programme to accelerate recover from Covid Cadets will learn skills to protect and enhance environment Environment Minister David Parker today welcomed the first intake of cadets at the launch of the Bay ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Cook Islanders to resume travel to New Zealand
    The Prime Minister of New Zealand Jacinda Ardern and the Prime Minister of the Cook Islands Mark Brown have announced passengers from the Cook Islands can resume quarantine-free travel into New Zealand from 21 January, enabling access to essential services such as health. “Following confirmation of the Cook Islands’ COVID ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Supporting communities and landowners to grow employment opportunities
    Jobs for Nature funding is being made available to conservation groups and landowners to employ staff and contractors in a move aimed at boosting local biodiversity-focused projects, Conservation Minister Kiritapu Allan has announced. It is estimated some 400-plus jobs will be created with employment opportunities in ecology, restoration, trapping, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Border exception for some returning international tertiary students
    The Government has approved an exception class for 1000 international tertiary students, degree level and above, who began their study in New Zealand but were caught offshore when border restrictions began. The exception will allow students to return to New Zealand in stages from April 2021. “Our top priority continues ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Tiwai deal gives time for managed transition
    Today’s deal between Meridian and Rio Tinto for the Tiwai smelter to remain open another four years provides time for a managed transition for Southland. “The deal provides welcome certainty to the Southland community by protecting jobs and incomes as the region plans for the future. The Government is committed ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New member for APEC Business Advisory Council
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has appointed Anna Curzon to the APEC Business Advisory Council (ABAC). The leader of each APEC economy appoints three private sector representatives to ABAC. ABAC provides advice to leaders annually on business priorities. “ABAC helps ensure that APEC’s work programme is informed by business community perspectives ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Govt’s careful economic management recognised
    The Government’s prudent fiscal management and strong policy programme in the face of the COVID-19 global pandemic have been acknowledged by the credit rating agency Fitch. Fitch has today affirmed New Zealand’s local currency rating at AA+ with a stable outlook and foreign currency rating at AA with a positive ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Additional actions to keep COVID-19 out of NZ
    The Government is putting in place a suite of additional actions to protect New Zealand from COVID-19, including new emerging variants, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “Given the high rates of infection in many countries and evidence of the global spread of more transmissible variants, it’s clear that ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • 19 projects will clean up and protect waterways
    $36 million of Government funding alongside councils and others for 19 projects Investment will clean up and protect waterways and create local jobs Boots on the ground expected in Q2 of 2021 Funding part of the Jobs for Nature policy package A package of 19 projects will help clean up ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • New Zealand Government acknowledges 175th anniversary of Battle of Ruapekapeka
    The commemoration of the 175th anniversary of the Battle of Ruapekapeka represents an opportunity for all New Zealanders to reflect on the role these conflicts have had in creating our modern nation, says Associate Minister for Arts, Culture and Heritage Kiri Allan. “The Battle at Te Ruapekapeka Pā, which took ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago