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The Standard wager

Written By: - Date published: 2:38 pm, January 14th, 2009 - 23 comments
Categories: humour, Media - Tags:

John Key has announced his ‘jobs summit’ at the end of Feburary saying “I don’t want this to be a talk fest, I want it to be a do-fest.”

“Do-fest”, eh? Sounds sexy.

Place your bets on which media commentator will be the first to enthusiastically adopt or warmly commend this latest meaningless piece of rhetoric from Key’s spin doctors.

23 comments on “The Standard wager ”

  1. the sprout 1

    ooh ooh, i vote:

    Guyon “I Don’t Think the Hollow Man Will Affect Don Brash’s Role as Leader of the National Party” Espiner.

  2. Carol 2


    The summit would take place in Auckland on February 27 and be open to various sectors, from unions, to business and government.

    It would be chaired by a yet-to-be-announced “private sector person”, who was already at work.


    Hasn’t Fran O’Sullivan already pre-empted the Key rhetoric before it even was spoke publicly?… and warmly commended it – at 4.00am this morning it seems – can’t be more enthusiastic than that.


    Prime Minister John Key plans a jobs summit as part of what he labels a “rolling maul” of initiatives to try to keep as many New Zealanders in work as possible during 2009.

    She seems to have the “rolling maul” rugby metaphor that was included in today’s non-announcement.

    I guess Key’s just waiting to see what Obama will do, then he will try to kiwify the US rhetoric.

  3. Sean Coombs 3

    How about Colin ‘The Government can’t affect wages’ Espiner?

  4. DeeDub 4

    Isn’t a ‘do-fest’ only one ‘do’ away from being in the s**t?

  5. Mike 5

    I thought ‘talk-fests’ were a waste of taxpayer money, or is that only for trivial matters like the the families commission and domestic violence?

  6. SPC 6

    So I suppose this means Fran has been outed as the friendly media commentator who John calls to keep informed.

    Obama needs a White House dog (all leaders of the free world have one) but one with a low allergy impact and Key needs his own poodle to bark the right approval noises on demand.

  7. mike 7

    fest could replace gate – but lets not forget the classics:

    sanfran airport-gate
    + some others

    Was there a common factor in these?

  8. Anita 8

    It’ll have to be a print journo way too risky to try to say it on radio or telly.

  9. Felix 9

    Was there a common factor in these?

    Yep, they’re all phrases which have only been used by the linguistically, grammatically and historically challenged.

  10. I think do-fest is too stupid and clumsy a phrase for even our abominable media to repeat outside of direct quote…

  11. Matthew Pilott 11

    …from Key’s spin doctors.

    A ‘do-fest’? Sod off SP, there’s no way a spin-doctor came up with that one, a tuppence says that came from Key himself.

    I’d almost wager C/T do some pro-bono work for Key, that’s just embarrassing. Imagine, you work with a guy intimately for over a year, his first chance comes up to show what he’s learned, and he comes up with that…

  12. Kevin is on holiday.

  13. greenfly 13


  14. Kerry 14

    Embarrased for the NZ Media the way they were virtually licking keys arse today “the prime minister was looking tanned and well rested and ready to tackle the economic crisis” Oh please!!!!!!!!! Hes been skiving off for 4 weeks doing fucking nothing……but we had better get used to that!

    And yippy…cant wait for all those jobs that will come out of Keys talkfest….just what we needed another meeting!

  15. sally 15

    I’m seeing the Knowledge Wave all over again…

  16. Pascal's bookie 16

    I think do-fest is too stupid and clumsy a phrase for even our abominable media to repeat outside of direct quote

    I guess they were were thinking of the old ‘more doey, less hui’ . Trust the nats to turn a nice colloquilism like that into ‘doofus’.

    In any case, it’s a fncking talkfest ffs. What exactly are they going to do there? I wonder if anyone will ask them. Perhaps they could put clips of themselves on youtube not talking to anybody at a jobs summit.

    ‘a rolling maul of initiatives’. Drop kick me jesus.

  17. Damn, too late to place a bet. I think Fran won with “Jobs summit crucial step in the right direction”:


  18. Bill 18

    The Herald’s articles are bizarre.

    Firstly, Fran would have us believe that John has sense a of urgency. “Key, who flew back to Auckland overnight from his Hawaiian holiday pad” I can just envisage the stressful haste as John donned his ‘Key Man’ super hero cape before dashing to catch that last minute night plane.

    Apparently he forgot to go to the toilet before boarding though.


    As John Armstrong reliably informs us Key hit the ground running. A desperate hobbling ‘rush’ to the nearest bog seems the likely explanation ’cause all he did, according to Armstrong, was announce an “Employment Summit” next month? Following on from his “Job Summit”? So confusing when your desperate, but wait!….. What a relief!

    Meetings about meetings anyone?

    Top of the agenda, arranging a meeting to discuss the possibility of a summit on toilet seat etiquette perhaps?

  19. Lew 19

    PB: ‘more doey, less hui’

    This was my thought as well.

    Question is: what can they actually do without parliament? Isn’t a party summit the definition of `talk-fest’?


  20. jason 20

    even more meaningless is one news presentation of the summit. “Shonky has returned from holiday to announce his plan; to have a summit.” We are all saved.

  21. Matthew Pilott 21

    Lew – fewer hui? (Not really National’s style, the old ‘fewer’, I guess)

  22. hi.. again..

    Re: “Do-fest”

    has me wondering some.. because my partners originated the term e-DO (in-house back then it was i-DO till modesty imposed itself on mindful folks). the in use the DO bit does not, of course, interpret anything like the “do-fest” substitute connotation — more mathematical, rational. logical and learned than this weaker, lowercased variety — in other words it achieves by direction..

    come to think of it.. literally.. maybe that is exactly what enzed needs right now.. but then of course.. and in the wider context operative it WILL cost.. though yes, not be so-called predicated economic methods..

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