web analytics

The Standard wager

Written By: - Date published: 2:38 pm, January 14th, 2009 - 23 comments
Categories: humour, Media - Tags:

John Key has announced his ‘jobs summit’ at the end of Feburary saying “I don’t want this to be a talk fest, I want it to be a do-fest.”

“Do-fest”, eh? Sounds sexy.

Place your bets on which media commentator will be the first to enthusiastically adopt or warmly commend this latest meaningless piece of rhetoric from Key’s spin doctors.

23 comments on “The Standard wager ”

  1. the sprout 1

    ooh ooh, i vote:

    Guyon “I Don’t Think the Hollow Man Will Affect Don Brash’s Role as Leader of the National Party” Espiner.

  2. Carol 2

    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10551843

    The summit would take place in Auckland on February 27 and be open to various sectors, from unions, to business and government.

    It would be chaired by a yet-to-be-announced “private sector person”, who was already at work.

    Cool.

    Hasn’t Fran O’Sullivan already pre-empted the Key rhetoric before it even was spoke publicly?… and warmly commended it – at 4.00am this morning it seems – can’t be more enthusiastic than that.

    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/politics/news/article.cfm?c_id=280&objectid=10551738

    Prime Minister John Key plans a jobs summit as part of what he labels a “rolling maul” of initiatives to try to keep as many New Zealanders in work as possible during 2009.

    She seems to have the “rolling maul” rugby metaphor that was included in today’s non-announcement.

    I guess Key’s just waiting to see what Obama will do, then he will try to kiwify the US rhetoric.

  3. Sean Coombs 3

    How about Colin ‘The Government can’t affect wages’ Espiner?

  4. DeeDub 4

    Isn’t a ‘do-fest’ only one ‘do’ away from being in the s**t?

  5. Mike 5

    I thought ‘talk-fests’ were a waste of taxpayer money, or is that only for trivial matters like the the families commission and domestic violence?

  6. SPC 6

    So I suppose this means Fran has been outed as the friendly media commentator who John calls to keep informed.

    Obama needs a White House dog (all leaders of the free world have one) but one with a low allergy impact and Key needs his own poodle to bark the right approval noises on demand.

  7. mike 7

    fest could replace gate – but lets not forget the classics:

    painter-gate
    speed-gate
    corn-gate
    sanfran airport-gate
    glen-gate
    + some others

    Was there a common factor in these?

  8. Anita 8

    It’ll have to be a print journo way too risky to try to say it on radio or telly.

  9. Felix 9

    Was there a common factor in these?

    Yep, they’re all phrases which have only been used by the linguistically, grammatically and historically challenged.

  10. I think do-fest is too stupid and clumsy a phrase for even our abominable media to repeat outside of direct quote…

  11. Matthew Pilott 11

    …from Key’s spin doctors.

    A ‘do-fest’? Sod off SP, there’s no way a spin-doctor came up with that one, a tuppence says that came from Key himself.

    I’d almost wager C/T do some pro-bono work for Key, that’s just embarrassing. Imagine, you work with a guy intimately for over a year, his first chance comes up to show what he’s learned, and he comes up with that…

  12. Kevin is on holiday.

  13. greenfly 13

    dufess?

  14. Kerry 14

    Embarrased for the NZ Media the way they were virtually licking keys arse today “the prime minister was looking tanned and well rested and ready to tackle the economic crisis” Oh please!!!!!!!!! Hes been skiving off for 4 weeks doing fucking nothing……but we had better get used to that!

    And yippy…cant wait for all those jobs that will come out of Keys talkfest….just what we needed another meeting!

  15. sally 15

    I’m seeing the Knowledge Wave all over again…

  16. Pascal's bookie 16

    I think do-fest is too stupid and clumsy a phrase for even our abominable media to repeat outside of direct quote

    I guess they were were thinking of the old ‘more doey, less hui’ . Trust the nats to turn a nice colloquilism like that into ‘doofus’.

    In any case, it’s a fncking talkfest ffs. What exactly are they going to do there? I wonder if anyone will ask them. Perhaps they could put clips of themselves on youtube not talking to anybody at a jobs summit.

    ‘a rolling maul of initiatives’. Drop kick me jesus.

  17. Damn, too late to place a bet. I think Fran won with “Jobs summit crucial step in the right direction”:

    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/politics/news/article.cfm?c_id=280&objectid=10551738

  18. Bill 18

    The Herald’s articles are bizarre.

    Firstly, Fran would have us believe that John has sense a of urgency. “Key, who flew back to Auckland overnight from his Hawaiian holiday pad” I can just envisage the stressful haste as John donned his ‘Key Man’ super hero cape before dashing to catch that last minute night plane.

    Apparently he forgot to go to the toilet before boarding though.

    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/politics/news/article.cfm?c_id=280&objectid=10551933

    As John Armstrong reliably informs us Key hit the ground running. A desperate hobbling ‘rush’ to the nearest bog seems the likely explanation ’cause all he did, according to Armstrong, was announce an “Employment Summit” next month? Following on from his “Job Summit”? So confusing when your desperate, but wait!….. What a relief!

    Meetings about meetings anyone?

    Top of the agenda, arranging a meeting to discuss the possibility of a summit on toilet seat etiquette perhaps?

  19. Lew 19

    PB: ‘more doey, less hui’

    This was my thought as well.

    Question is: what can they actually do without parliament? Isn’t a party summit the definition of `talk-fest’?

    L

  20. jason 20

    even more meaningless is one news presentation of the summit. “Shonky has returned from holiday to announce his plan; to have a summit.” We are all saved.

  21. Matthew Pilott 21

    Lew – fewer hui? (Not really National’s style, the old ‘fewer’, I guess)

  22. hi.. again..

    Re: “Do-fest”

    has me wondering some.. because my partners originated the term e-DO (in-house back then it was i-DO till modesty imposed itself on mindful folks). the in use the DO bit does not, of course, interpret anything like the “do-fest” substitute connotation — more mathematical, rational. logical and learned than this weaker, lowercased variety — in other words it achieves by direction..

    come to think of it.. literally.. maybe that is exactly what enzed needs right now.. but then of course.. and in the wider context operative it WILL cost.. though yes, not be so-called predicated economic methods..

Links to post

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Protect seamounts and ban bottom trawling right now
    The Green Party is renewing its call for Minister for the Environment, David Parker to immediately ban bottom trawling on seamounts. ...
    1 hour ago
  • Building Auckland’s transport future
    We’re making sure Auckland has the infrastructure it needs for the future, so Aucklanders can get around safely and efficiently as our biggest city grows. The new, linked-up transport system we’re building will include partially tunnelled light rail between the CBD and the airport, as well as another Waitematā Harbour ...
    3 hours ago
  • Build Auckland light rail for benefit of everyone
    The Government’s decision on light rail in Auckland is the first step towards building the climate friendly, accessible city our communities deserve. ...
    3 hours ago
  • Put our most vulnerable first
    Don’t forget whānau and communities most at risk, says the Green Party, as the Government lays out its three-phase plan for Omicron. ...
    2 days ago
  • Boosting our immunity against Omicron
    With Omicron in the community, it’s vital we all do our bit to help to slow the spread, keep each other safe and protect our health system. One of the most important ways we can reduce the risk of Omicron is to get a booster dose as soon as we’re ...
    2 days ago
  • Equitable response to Omicron vital
    The Green Party supports the Government’s decision to move Aotearoa New Zealand to traffic light level Red at 11.59pm tonight, but says its success will depend on the support that is made available to the most vulnerable. ...
    5 days ago
  • How we’re preparing for Omicron
    As countries around the world experience Omicron outbreaks, we’re taking steps now to ensure we’re as prepared as possible and our communities are protected. ...
    1 week ago
  • What’s Labour achieved so far?
    Quite a bit! This Government was elected to take on the toughest issues facing Aotearoa – and that’s what we’re doing. Since the start of the pandemic, protecting lives and livelihoods has been a priority, but we’ve also made progress on long-term challenges, to deliver a future the next generation ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Tackling the big issues in 2022
    This year, keeping Kiwis safe from COVID will remain a key priority of the Government – but we’re also pushing ahead on some of New Zealand’s biggest long-term challenges. In 2022, we’re working to get more Kiwis into homes, reduce emissions, lift children out of poverty, and ensure people get ...
    2 weeks ago

  • Building and shaping a city: Future-proofing Auckland transport infrastructure
    The Government is bringing Auckland’s transport infrastructure into the future by moving forward with an additional Waitematā Harbour crossing, progressing light rail from Auckland’s CBD to the airport, and creating a linked-up rapid transport network as part of a 30-year plan. Key decisions on additional Waitematā Harbour crossing to be ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 hour ago
  • Penguin rehab and native forest restoration get helping hand
    A long-running penguin rehab facility which has been hard hit by the tourism downturn, and work to restore native forest habitats in the Catlins are being supported through Jobs for Nature funding, Conservation Minister Kiri Allan says. Otago’s Penguin Place and The Hokonui Rūnanga Catlins Biodiversity Project will receive combined ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Resilient economy reflected in Crown accounts
    The Government’s financial accounts continue to reflect a resilient economy that has performed better than expected and puts the country in a strong position to respond to Omicron, Grant Robertson said. The Crown Accounts for the five months to the end of November were more favourable than forecast in the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Government announces three phase public health response to Omicron
    Reducing isolation period for cases and close contacts at Phase Two and Three to 10 and seven days Definition of close contact required to isolate changes to household or household like contacts at Phase Three Increased use of rapid antigen tests with test to return policy put in place for ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • New Ambassador to Thailand announced
    Foreign Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta today announced the appointment of Jonathan Kings as New Zealand’s next Ambassador to Thailand. “Aotearoa New Zealand has a long-standing relationship with Thailand, celebrating the 65th anniversary of diplomatic representation between our countries in 2021. We also share much in common at regional and multilateral levels ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Government’s Family Package continues to deliver for New Zealanders
    The Families Package helped around 330,000 families in its first year - more than half of all families with children in NZ These families received an estimated $55 per week more from Families Package payments in 2018/19 than in 2017/18, on average Families Package increases to the maximum possible Accommodation ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • New Zealand retains top spot in global anti-corruption rankings
    Justice Minister Kris Faafoi has welcomed news of New Zealand’s ongoing position as top in the world anti-corruption rankings. The 2021 Corruption Perceptions Index released by global anti-corruption organisation, Transparency International, ranks New Zealand first equal with Denmark and Finland, with a score of 88 out of 100. “This is an ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Testing improvements see New Zealand well prepared for Omicron
    New Zealand’s PCR testing capacity can be increased by nearly 20,000 tests per day to deal with a surge in cases as part of our wider COVID-19 testing strategy, Associate Minister of Health Dr Ayesha Verrall said. “We have continued to adapt our public health response to safeguard the health ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • 5,000 portable air cleaners for schools on their way
    As schools are preparing to return, Education Minister Chris Hipkins has announced 5,000 air cleaners have been ordered for New Zealand schools. “As we know, along with vaccination, testing, good hygiene and physical distancing, good ventilation is important in minimising the risk of airborne transmission of the virus that causes ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • New Zealand to move to Red from 11.59pm today
    All of New Zealand will move to the Red setting of the Covid Protection Framework (CPF) at 11:59pm today as Omicron is potentially now transmitting in the community, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern says. “Nine COVID-19 cases reported yesterday in the Nelson/Marlborough region are now confirmed as Omicron, and a further ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Mandatory boosters for key workforces progressing well
    More than 5,785 (82%) border workers eligible for a booster vaccination at 6 months have received it so far, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins says. “That’s a really strong uptake considering we announced the requirement the week before Christmas, but we need to continue this momentum,” Chris Hipkins said. “We ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • NZ to move to Red
    Nine COVID-19 cases reported yesterday in the Nelson/Marlborough region have now been confirmed as the Omicron variant, and a further case from the same household was confirmed late yesterday. These cases are in a single family that flew to Auckland on 13 January to attend a wedding and other events ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • New Zealand to provide further help for Tonga
    Aotearoa New Zealand is giving an additional $2 million in humanitarian funding for Tonga as the country recovers from a volcanic eruption and tsunami last weekend, Foreign Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta and Defence Minister Peeni Henare said today. This brings Aotearoa New Zealand’s contribution to $3 million. “This support will ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Quarterly benefit numbers show highest number of exits into work
    The Government’s strong focus on supporting more people into work is reflected in benefit figures released today which show a year-on-year fall of around 21,300 people receiving a main benefit in the December 2021 quarter, Minister for Social Development and Employment Carmel Sepuloni said. “Our response to COVID has helped ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Northland to move to Orange, NZ prepared for Omicron 
    Northland to move to Orange Rest of New Zealand stays at Orange in preparedness for Omicron All of New Zealand to move into Red in the event of Omicron community outbreak – no use of lockdowns Govt planning well advanced – new case management, close contact definition and testing rules ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • RNZAF C-130 Hercules flight departs for Tonga as Navy vessels draw nearer to Tongatapu
    A Royal New Zealand Air Force C-130 Hercules has departed Base Auckland Whenuapai for Tonga carrying aid supplies, as the New Zealand aid effort ramps up, Foreign Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta and Defence Minister Peeni Henare said today. “The aircraft is carrying humanitarian aid and disaster relief supplies, including water ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • New Zealand prepared to send support to Tonga
    New Zealand is ready to assist Tonga in its recovery from Saturday night’s undersea eruption and tsunami, Foreign Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta and Defence Minister Peeni Henare said today. “Following the successful surveillance and reconnaissance flight of a New Zealand P-3K2 Orion on Monday, imagery and details have been sent ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Aotearoa New Zealand stands ready to assist people of Tonga
    The thoughts of New Zealanders are with the people of Tonga following yesterday’s undersea volcanic eruption and subsequent tsunami waves, Foreign Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta says. “Damage assessments are under way and New Zealand has formally offered to provide assistance to Tonga,” said Nanaia Mahuta. New Zealand has made an ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Record high of new homes consented continues
    In the year ended November 2021, 48,522 new homes were consented, up 26 per cent from the November 2020 year. In November 2021, 4,688 new dwellings were consented. Auckland’s new homes consented numbers rose 25 per cent in the last year. Annual figures for the last nine months show more ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Report trumpets scope for ice cream exports
    Latest research into our premium ice cream industry suggests exporters could find new buyers in valuable overseas markets as consumers increasingly look for tip top quality in food. Economic Development Minister Stuart Nash has released a new report for the Food and Beverage Information Project. The project is run by ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Honouring the legacy of legendary kaumātua Muriwai Ihakara
    Associate Minister for Arts, Culture, and Heritage Kiri Allan expressed her great sadness and deepest condolences at the passing of esteemed kaumātua, Muriwai Ihakara. “Muriwai’s passing is not only a loss for the wider creative sector but for all of Aotearoa New Zealand. The country has lost a much beloved ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Have your say on proposed changes to make drinking water safer
    Associate Minister for the Environment Kiri Allan is urging all New Zealanders to give feedback on proposed changes aimed at making drinking water safer. “The current regulations are not fit for purpose and don’t offer enough protection, particularly for those whose water comes from smaller supplies,” Kiri Allan said. “This ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Planting the seeds for rewarding careers
    A boost in funding for a number of Jobs for Nature initiatives across Canterbury will provide sustainable employment opportunities for more than 70 people, Conservation Minister Kiri Allan says. “The six projects are diverse, ranging from establishing coastline trapping in Kaikōura, to setting up a native plant nursery, restoration planting ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago