Todd’s Odd Distress Signal

Written By: - Date published: 5:39 pm, June 14th, 2020 - 64 comments
Categories: class war, Politics, same old national, the praiseworthy and the pitiful, todd muller, you couldn't make this shit up - Tags: , , , , , ,

Generic party leader Todd Muller has sent out a coded call for help this afternoon in an otherwise underwhelming speech at a pakeha enclave in Te Puna, north of Tauranga.

National Party leader Todd Muller gives first speech at home since ...

 

What was supposed to be a major speech strongly putting the case for a National led Government, Muller instead urged viewers to vote for a candidate who was “kind, competent and bold”.  So, that’d be Jacinda Ardern, then.

Weirdly, the Nat social media team back Muller up by putting out a tweet that merely borrowed a Labour slogan (Let’s Do This) and suggested that the Tories are going into competition with UberEats.

National Delivers.

Not even an exclamation mark to make it sound like an exciting prospect.

Even odder was Muller claiming he knows what it’s like to be in a minority because he was once the richest, whitest kid at school. Oh, the humanity!

 

Todd Muller touts National Party's government vision if elected in ...

 

But the strangest thing of all was Todd Muller delivering a speech in front of a Tino Rangatiratanga flag. A condescending choice in itself, given the almost exclusively white audience, it’s made even more awkward by the fact the flag was hung upside down.

Even a landlubber like me knows that in the maritime world, that’s the recognised sign of extreme distress.

Could this afternoon’s speech really be a hostage video?

I don’t know, but I think we should be told.

64 comments on “Todd’s Odd Distress Signal ”

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  1. Westiechick 1
    14 June 2020 at 5:53 pm

    Great slogan.
    National delivers a broken health system!
    National delivers tax cuts for the rich!
    National delivers families sleeping in cars!
    etc etc!

    • Tricledrown 1.1
      15 June 2020 at 11:10 am

      Cutting policing numbers by 800 ,education cuts by their Stinking sinking lid policy.

      Nationals policy tax Cuts for the well off paid by cuts to essential services.

      • Pusskins 1.1.1
        17 June 2020 at 1:59 pm

        No, that's Labour. You are confusing the two.

        Labour delivers 100% wage cuts to tens of thousands, but finds it impossible to carry out the 20% wage cut to themselves for two months.

        • roblogic 1.1.1.1
          17 June 2020 at 2:11 pm

          If it was a choice between my family members dying of COVID-19, or keeping my day job, then I'm gonna choose life over money. The lockdown saved lives. The herd immunity model has failed. Other countries are suffering so much they can't even bury the dead fast enough.

          Easy to snipe from a position of safety tho, innit

    • Paaparakauta 1.2
      16 June 2020 at 5:06 pm

      I would counsel against overconfidence.

      We all start somewhere ..

    • Pusskins 1.3
      17 June 2020 at 1:56 pm

      Labour delivers 120,000 unemployed.

      Labour stuffs up, doesn't bother to test an ill person and reintroduces Covid.

      Labour delivers increased 'child poverty'.

      Labour delivers more people who will be sleeping in cars because their jobs have gone.

      Labout delivers bankruptcies, who knows how many billions borrowed to keep the country going in a lockdown that the Ministry of Health says was too extreme; four weeks of Level 2 would have been enough.

      Labour delivers 306 more 80+ people than usual for the time of the lockdowns DYING. (Official Information)

      Labour leaves old people to sink or swim, as it was illegal for anyone to visit them for almost two months. Too bad if they are frail and in bad health.

      Labour makes women who are losing their babies go through it alone; husbands not allowed.

      Labour makes a mother unable to see her dying son, before or after his death.

      • roblogic 1.3.1
        17 June 2020 at 2:00 pm

        Just curious, do you also blame John Key and National for the Christchurch earthquakes and 2008 global recession? They demolished our second largest city and yet John Key still got a knighthood.

  2. Sacha 2
    14 June 2020 at 6:04 pm

    Are they hoping for warm lockdown nostalgia from those of us who could afford to have everything brought to the door?

  3. Anker 3
    14 June 2020 at 6:17 pm

    Bloody hell. And on Prime News he was shown saying “I joined the Labour Party”. Ouch. That’s embarrassing

    • Cinny 3.1
      15 June 2020 at 3:19 pm

      Aye, and rather than immediately cracking a joke about such an awkward error, there was an embarrassed pause and a strained look on his face.

      It appears he is no good on the hoof in any situation and his lack of confidence is more than obvious. Not leadership quality that's for sure.

      Am currently listening to talk back and tories seem to prefer simon over muller.

    • Mark JACKSON 3.2
      8 July 2020 at 7:43 pm

      Where can I see that video.

  4. Billyfish 4
    14 June 2020 at 6:21 pm

    National seem to be holding firm in thier plan of being the opposition to National

  5. Sacha 5
    14 June 2020 at 6:26 pm

    I guess this means we will be seeing more of Key, English and Joyce as props during the campaign. Joy.

  6. In Vino 6
    14 June 2020 at 6:37 pm

    Well, obviously they were given a Tino Rangatiratanga flag that was made for the Northern Hemisphere..

  7. Anne 7
    14 June 2020 at 6:49 pm

    A picture is worth a thousand words.

    *In this case two pictures are worth two thousand words.

    https://www.amazon.com/Rangatiratanga-Banner-Zealand-Pennant-Outdoor/dp/B018YMKCMG

    The irony. It hurts. laugh

  8. Ken 8
    14 June 2020 at 6:51 pm

    For a brief moment there, when he pretended that he was a Labour Party member, he actually felt like a winner.

  9. observer 9
    14 June 2020 at 6:56 pm

    The speech wasn't terrible (certainly no Orewa) but from Muller's POV it was almost worse – it was irrelevant.

    2-3 weeks ago the new National leader's Big Speech would have led the news. But this won't even get noticed, outside the very small circle of NZ politcal tragics (hello). On TVNZ he got relegated below BLM and rugby's return and various international stories, simply because they are news and Todd Muller isn't. Not any more.

    He screwed up his "honeymoon" so badly, it's no wonder Nats are already missing Simon Bridges. At least he was occasionally mentioned in the news.

    • woodart 9.1
      14 June 2020 at 9:27 pm

      very badly timed for news media coverage. the rugby restarting was always going to outshine any political coverage. makes you wonder who thought today was a good day for toddler to have a speech?

  10. solkta 10
    14 June 2020 at 7:08 pm

    suggested that the Tories are going into competition with UberEats.

    National Delivers.

    They used that last time.

    When scrutineering last election a National worker brought in a packed lunch for their scrutineer. As there were no voters present at the time i took the opportunity and in a loud voice with a tone of considerable surprise i exclaimed "Wow, they really do deliver". Got some giggles from the electoral staff a dirty look from the nact scrutineer.

    What a sad and pathetic slogan. Now stale as well.

  11. Byd0nz 11
    14 June 2020 at 7:12 pm

    On Mullers speech

    You could not be more controversial than this,
    It would be like seeing clear in the thickest of mist,
    He started off sounding like being left of Labour,
    Then he quoted John Key, do us a favour.
    His team of the extreme right Key Nats,
    With their record of anti working class stats,
    But he did go to church to talk to some god,
    The nation saw though, a fuckwit called Todd.

  12. Heather 12
    14 June 2020 at 8:00 pm

    The toad is completely out of his depth. Mentioning his mentors Key and English would have done him no good at all, what did they do for NZ, that made any difference to the well-being of anyone, except themselves.

  13. Fireblade 13
    14 June 2020 at 8:24 pm

    Hanging the Tino Rangatiratanga flag upside down is very disrespectful and ignorant.

    • Rae 13.1
      15 June 2020 at 4:13 pm

      It was also back to front (turn your screen over). Imagine if you could turn a flag inside out

    • Pusskins 13.2
      17 June 2020 at 2:03 pm

      I don't suppose that he did it. I wonder how many people noticed, anyway.

      You should be more concerned with Labour's stuffed up border controls that have done untold damage to the economy and untold suffering and have now let Covid19 back in because someone thought that asking 'Do you feel okay?' was as good as a test.

  14. Ad 14
    14 June 2020 at 8:53 pm

    The distress signals Todd will be getting are from MPs in electorates that are now at real risk and haven't been so for a long time. It's anything near a 4-5,000 current majority:

    – North Harbour

    – Northcote

    – Maungakiekie

    – Auckland Central

    – Botany (the split vote)

    – Hamilton East

    – Hutt South

    – Invercargill (OK maybe a stretch)

    – Nelson

    – Papakura (if the NZF vote transfers)

    – Whanganui

    Sure it never lasts, but we may as well work our guts out for 2020 while Ardern is rising the whole tide and dislodge some old hulks from their moorings.

  15. Incognito 15
    14 June 2020 at 9:35 pm

    I think you may have misheard Todd. He said “kind, competent and bald”.

    In all seriousness though, Todd was on his home turf, literally, and I don’t think this speech was meant to set the world on fire and rally the troops. I think the idea is to start at square one, to introduce his identity and heritage (pepeha), portrait his core values (i.e. family and community), nail his colours to the mast, and build on that. The delivery was amateurish, at best, but the intentions are clear enough, I think, and fairly honest, I’d add.

    • Tricledrown 15.1
      14 June 2020 at 11:15 pm

      Remember when Brash walked the plank

      English did his pin up in the Womens weakly.

      When Bridges collapsed.

      Todd the Mudller.

      Next up Luxton.

      • Patricia 15.1.1
        15 June 2020 at 11:46 am

        Toll Muddler .

      • Pusskins 15.1.2
        17 June 2020 at 2:06 pm

        Don Brash had trouble fitting into a boat (?) because he has such long legs (lucky man)

        I wonder how many people would be all right walking across a narrow board. I wouldn't.

        • joe90 15.1.2.1
          17 June 2020 at 2:12 pm

          You're a ridiculous old goat, too?

        • roblogic 15.1.2.2
          17 June 2020 at 2:21 pm

          Brash was trying to demonstrate his fitness for public office by doing "cool" stunts like driving a race car. Instead he demonstrated his poor judgement

  16. ianmac 16
    14 June 2020 at 10:32 pm

    My estimate is that there were maybe 100 mostly older people in the audience. And they used to poke fun at Winstons allegedly older audience. At least Winston would muster 500+ to his shows.

  17. Tricledrown 17
    14 June 2020 at 11:08 pm

    Muller couldn't be duller

  18. observer 18
    15 June 2020 at 6:10 am

    A useful insight from Richard Harman into what's happening behind the scenes in the National party:

    https://www.politik.co.nz/2020/06/15/muller-embraces-michael-joseph-savage-but-his-party-rejects-its-samoan-mp/

    Again, I think we should resist the simplistic notion of a monolithic, disciplined Right. Muller is not in control of the party he "leads".

    Even his comments about the removal of statues ("have a conversation") are a clear rebuke to Nat MPs like Simeon Brown ("vandals"). And Chris Penk must be the first author in history to write a book and then not promote it in the media (because he's been told to STFU).

    • Ad 18.1
      15 June 2020 at 6:37 am

      Daniel Newman, Desley Simpson and her husband the National Party President, Judith Collins, Matthew Hooten, Andrew Bayly: that's the core who organises the numbers for National and particularly for Auckland.

      It's an impressively tight team with a lot of internal scalps already.

    • tc 18.2
      15 June 2020 at 7:26 am

      Penks book displays the ongoing dirty politics practices national will allow for votes no matter what reels them in.

      Has there been any public distancing or rebuke for penks misinformation and use of taxpayers time ? Muller looks pissweak already.
      Penks just doing stuff like the last helensville MP did just overtly not covertly using a beehive office and staff.

    • roblogic 18.3
      16 June 2020 at 4:13 am

      Todd's faction wants National to be milder and more palatable to middle NZ. The other faction wants to go full Trump and pander to the darkest recesses of the RWNJ psyche

  19. gsays 19
    15 June 2020 at 7:28 am

    Is this an oppurtunity to get some bi-partisan politics happening? The leaders in both the big two seem to have a lack of baggage and both say they have an eye for sorting out poverty.

    Not that either of the two main parties speak for me, I think they are more closely aligned to each other than to any other party in parliament.

  20. vto 20
    15 June 2020 at 7:35 am

    bland dull and completely uninspiring

    had to reach to Jacinda – kind

    had to reach to Key, English, Joyce – weird failure

    I don't think a single person in the country tunes in when his head appears…

    the placeholder is placeholding

  21. vto 21
    15 June 2020 at 7:37 am

    note though, the steady slow movement of the conservatives policies (e.g. kind) towards the place where society has headed…

    conservatives eh – always the followers

    if only they realised this it would save a lot of time and agony

  22. You_fool 22
    15 June 2020 at 8:48 am

    I can't help but imagine how many stories would be in the media if Labour or the Greens had accidentally hung a flag upside down.

  23. Anne 23
    15 June 2020 at 10:05 am

    My thoughts too You_fool.

    Imagine also if it had been a flag from another country. The media would have been sending reporters to the country concerned for official and public responses. It would have ended up in all the major newspapers around the globe.

  24. Tiger Mountain 24
    15 June 2020 at 12:28 pm

    Todd Conehead seems uninspiring at best–so far so great–better than a populist the sheep shaggers and talkback enthusiasts all feel the love for, except the inconvenient historical issue is that around 40% of New Zealand voters are hard wired to vote Tory regardless!

    It would be great to be proved wrong, and while the boomers will likely lose numerical superiority in 2023, in 2020 I fear the hands grasping those black markers in little cardboard booths will start to shake when they hover over…“Labour–Party Vote”…

    It is interesting also to discover how many of National’s prominent MPs have not personally run a business despite their rhetoric.

  25. Rae 25
    15 June 2020 at 4:15 pm

    Todd "The Gaffer" Muller, on account of all the gaffes

  26. rod 26
    15 June 2020 at 4:17 pm

    Let' face it. Todd Muddler is just another right wing, multi millionaire, with the gift of the gab, hoping for a quick Knighthood.

    • Pusskins 26.1
      17 June 2020 at 2:10 pm

      Let's face it, you are just another idiot who doesn't know how the honours system works.

      And knighthood doesn't have a capital.

      [Lift your game, Pusskins. Honours are regularly given to politicians, whether deserved or not. And pedantry in this kind of forum usually just makes you look like a tosser. TRP]

  27. peter sim 27
    15 June 2020 at 10:09 pm

    national has always been a pantomime horse/donkey. Two parties dressed up as one.

    Assorted cabals clearly decided that a bridges/ bennet duo was unpopular another pairing would do better, hopefully, and not worse.

    NZ media 's reliance on advertising for revenue guaranteed business friendly and (employee disdain) ensured support for right wing favouritism fuelled by british colonialism establishing nz today.

    Reading the "opinion" pieces of egotistical writers (or worse) hearing their very ignorant comments is very depressing.

    National has relied on a tame media to brainwash us. Maybe we should all grow up.

    How hard is that?

  28. dv 28
    16 June 2020 at 8:46 am

    Love this

    Coronavirus: Petition calls on UK to declare war on New Zealand 'then immediately surrender

    The petition suggests the British Government declares war on New Zealand and then surrenders, so that Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern can take over the reins in the UK, as part of international law that states that you become the de facto government of a country you defeat in war.

    "The British Government has shown itself to be completely incapable of controlling the Covid-19 virus outbreak in the UK and has the highest death rate per head of population in the world," the petition states.

    https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=12340019