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A Friend first, and a Boss second, probably an Entertainer third.

Written By: - Date published: 1:56 pm, April 26th, 2015 - 44 comments
Categories: Abuse of power, class war, john key, leadership, same old national, workers' rights, you couldn't make this shit up - Tags: , ,

“I’m a friendly guy that likes to interact with the public. I do like to have a bit of a laugh and I’m probably the most casual Prime Minister New Zealand has had.”  John Key. Q+A.

The most casual Prime Minister New Zealand has had. And, boy, doesn’t it show.

Helen Clark had such attention to detail she managed to run budget surpluses, lower unemployment and lift wages. But, hey, chillax, peeps! John’s got this. The good news is that Andrew Little does actually know what a hard day’s work entails, and has a focus on getting the job done. New Zealand deserves nothing less.

Not satisfied with being an international laughing stock, Key really thinks that admitting being a slacker is going to endear him to the folks back home, who are all looking at him in an entirely new light since Wednesday’s revelations. Dumb and dumber.

“Key said his casual approach had both advantages and disadvantages.”

Disadvantages may include sexual harassment and general inappropriate touching of females. (ht Idlegus!)

“I have to take total responsibility for that. I shouldn’t have done the things I have done.”

Sweet. Then you’ll be resigning as soon as you get back? Nah, thought not.

“I think it’s the opposite to what some people might think that there’s a power imbalance”

Leave John Key alone! He’s the real victim here! Of course if it literally was the opposite, the young women being bullied would have had power over John Key, his wife, his entourage and his bodyguards. That doesn’t sound an entirely credible scenario to me.

A responsible leader, someone who isn’t proud to be casual about their job, would resign. But I hope Key doesn’t quit. I really, really don’t want him to go just yet. It’s going to be too much fun watching National’s only asset being the butt of jokes for the next two years. No, much better that we wait while the various investigations into his bizarre assaults play out. Or how ever long it is before Judith Collins calls an end to the madness. Popcorn, ahoy!

The most casual Prime Minister New Zealand has had.

Thanks, John, we now have your epitaph.

David Brent couldn’t have said it better. Fact!

 

 

 

 

 

44 comments on “A Friend first, and a Boss second, probably an Entertainer third. ”

  1. Nick 1

    Wasn’t me, I forget, ….. Now…. most casual, the latest spin. The sad part is enough people buy it.

  2. felix 2

    Well said TRP.

    I think next time we should have a Prime Minister who takes the job seriously.

    • tracey 2.1

      is he on a casual contract? ah no, thats right… we pay him nearly 500k per annum plus expenses and perks.

  3. Incognito 3

    Casual Key is casual with facts, with history, with remembering, with people’s rights & feelings, with people’s dignity. In fact, he is casual about being casual. What he’s trying to convey is that he’s “relaxed and comfortable” and doesn’t give a rat’s arse about anybody or anything else but himself. Casual Key has spoken the truth!

  4. Hateatea 4

    May it not be too long before CasualKey is a Casualty! (Of his own casualness)

  5. Brendan 5

    This one’s a goodie.

    • cogito 5.1

      LOL. The really funny thing is that Key probably wouldn’t even recognise himself!

      • miravox 5.1.1

        I didn’t realise “The Office” was a training video.

        I casually learn something everyday – Fact.

        • seeker 5.1.1.1

          Don’t know which made me laugh more Brendan’s so on the nail link or your very clever comment Miravox. One totally compliments the other. Still laughing, thanks both.

  6. idlegus 6

    from one entertainer to another, john campbell just tweeted a herald online article where they mistakenly put campbells name instead of john key (talking about the anzac vist, ‘Among the attendees are Prime Minsister John Campbell & his Aussie counterpart…’ , wtf is going on over at the herald!

    the tweet here https://twitter.com/CampbellLiveNZ/status/592176903894663169/photo/1

  7. Murray Rawshark 7

    I’d actually like him to quit. I think the regime would fall to bits shortly after and we could end up with a new government. To satisfy any urges for comedic fun, I can always watch reruns of Monty Python.

  8. One Anonymous Bloke 8

    It’s just another lie.

    Key’s attention to semantic detail is legendary. His throw-away remarks have small-print. He’s paying attention, and if he’s having fun, it’s quite literally at our expense.

  9. swordfish 9

    Yeah, Key dismissing it all as “hi-jinks”, “horsing around”, “harmless fun” and a bit of “Banter”…

    Reminds me very much of
    David Brent (to “The Swindon lot”, after hearing from Gareth that they call him ‘Bluto’): “Hello, sorry everybody, um, look, we are one big happy family here, yeah ? Now, I’ve been trying to welcome you new guys…you know I didn’t want you here but you’re here now so, y’know, (grudgingly) ‘well done’, welcome…but if there’s one thing I don’t like it’s nicknames, yeah ? Because nicknames are bad names, yeah ? They’re not helpful, yeah ? They can be very hurtful, yeah ?…but not to me, it’s like water off a duck’s back, but…”

    One of the old (Slough) lot (interrupting): “Didn’t you use to call Malcolm “Kojak” ?”

    Brent: “Awwww, that was affectionate !!! You know, he was a great detective and a fine actor.”

  10. ropata 10

    Key is the master of pratfalls and making NZ a laughingstock of the world.

    The stage dive and broken arm
    The catwalk mincing
    The “gay red top” quip on talkback radio
    The RWC triple handshake
    The embarrassing Letterman appearance
    The Rugby News cover photo in AB gear
    The beer swilling bbq with Prince Harry
    The ponytail pulling fetish
    The insult to David Beckham

    And more seriously

    The joking around and insults in the House of Parliament
    The chickenshit no-shows when invited to face Kim Hill or John Campbell
    The persecution of Nicky Hager and Bradley Ambrose (if Hager lied why not sue?)
    The avoidance of funerals in favour of sports games
    The dismissal of Pulitzer winning journo Glenn Greenwald as a hack
    All the other stuff in BLiP’s list

    This guy does not represent New Zealand in any way that I recognise.

    • seeker 10.1

      Worst was his cowering and then throat slashing gesture at the opposition benches
      when there was a commotion in the public gallery in Parliament. What a ‘gutsy’ PM. What a leader.

    • Rosie 10.2

      + a gazillion ropata.

      Plus, I agree with Murray and Mary that Key has to resign.

      If the systematic abuse, harassment and bullying of a woman who is quite unequal in her power compared to his, is NOT considered unacceptable behaviour for a PM, then what is?

      If we turn a blind eye to our PM’s unwelcome and persistent actions of physical and psychological assault then we have given up any kind of morality or standards.

      Key makes me sick anyway but to have an abuser as a PM is the final straw. I don’t see how NZers can live with that, or tolerate it.

      Clearly he has his own personal issues which he needs to address, that’s his business, but first off he needs to resign, to begin to make amends for his behaviour.

      If there is a public call for his resignation then I would join that chorus.

  11. bernard 11

    Key can`t blame `The Office` or someone else this time

    k

    • Alpha z 11.1

      (Key can`t blame `The Office` or someone else this time)
      nah. not office. only the orifice

  12. mary_a 12

    No way do I want Key to remain in power any longer than necessary. The sooner he’s gone the better and minus his much anticipated knighthood, which could be a pipe dream for him, if complaints about his creepy behaviour are laid! If he’s investigated, he will have no option but to step down!

    Oh bring it on!

  13. ropata 13

    Top NZ trend on Twitter right now … #CasualJohn

  14. SMILIN 14

    Well Key you can afford to be casual about your job the rest of us are working full time to pay for it you delinquent twerp how would you like imagine being shot for dereliction of duty like a 100 yrs ago and get a feel of a bit of horse hair as well might sober you up

  15. ropata 15

    JOHN TROUBLE? Well #TEAMKEY have the ideal party alternative. Quick and discrete, "CASUAL JOHN" 谢谢. #CasualJohn pic.twitter.com/06eToWdO2r— TEAMKEY (@TEAMKEY888) April 26, 2015

  16. ropata 16

    Let's just casually dismiss these petitions, the HRC, the Privacy Commission, Law Society, Pulitzer journos, all just "henchmen" #CasualJohn— Alan (@alans_world) April 26, 2015

  17. ropata 17

    Casually denying the findings of "The Gwyn Report" that his Office was culpable regarding the Goff OIA being given to Slater. #CasualJohn— Foxy Lusty-Grover (@FoxyLustyGrover) April 26, 2015

  18. ropata 18

    @FoxyLustyGrover #CasualJohn All Black insider, don't forget. pic.twitter.com/GyZOexlUYJ— Arch Rival (@ArchieDaRival) April 26, 2015

  19. ropata 19

    Casually admitting, on National Radio, that he breaks the OIA whenever it is in his interests to do so. #CasualJohn— Felix Geiringer (@BarristerNZ) April 26, 2015

  20. ropata 20

    Im a pretty casual guy says #CasualJohn , somehow video #planetkey mocking John Key is banned— Ross (@RossGrahamnz) April 26, 2015

  21. ropata 21

    I'm pretty casual about the whole NO means NO thing hence why I kept pulling the waitresses hair #CasualJohn— A Storm is Coming! (@ArbyHyde) April 26, 2015

  22. freedom 22

    whoever thought “casual” was going to send the right message
    are tonight updating their resumes

  23. TheContrarian 23

    I wouldn’t take casual to mean he’s a slacker. The office of PM requires one work fucking hard and I have no doubt Key works hard. In his not holding the work load and position with the gravitas it demands, being casual about it – all that in spades.

    • tracey 23.1

      since he gave up one of his portfolios you mean?

      or foubd time to drop his golf handicap from low 20s to nearly 10?

  24. RedLogix 24

    Key does himself a disservice – there’s nothing causal about managing to halve your golf handicap while doing the Prime Minister’s job at the same time.

    That’s bloody Superman territory! (/sarc)

  25. Melanie Scott 25

    “Casual” is a carefully contrived mannerism in John Key’s case. He does work hard at it so as to hide the ugly face of corporate greed. He works hard for his mates both in NZ and overseas, especially in the context of fending off demands for control on foreign ownership of NZ agricultural land and houses in Auckland. He works hard at batting away calls for the introduction of Capital Gains taxes and stamp duty. The so-called casualness is a carefully contrived PR stance, designed to fool the average voter into thinking he, John Key is an average guy, an average NZ-er; which could not be further from the truth.
    A true example of sponteneity and genuine casualness, would be David Lange, who effortlessly combined his “casualness” with a brilliant wit and a warm, humane nature.

  26. david 26

    Poor man. The trouble is the people just don’t understand. That the politicians just want to have fun. They got voted in and they now deserve to.

    • ropata 26.1

      When you’re the smiling assassin of Wall St, with a whole country as your plaything, what is one insignificant pony tail and a few tears from some girl in a cafe?

      (rhetorical device — not my usual terminology!)

  27. linda 27

    accept it was serial ponytail and ponytail with a minor way to creepy!

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