Caption competition

Written By: - Date published: 10:22 am, March 7th, 2014 - 82 comments
Categories: brand key - Tags:

Key photo op

82 comments on “Caption competition ”

  1. geoff 1

    “So people who do this for a living get minimum wage?? Haha, losers!!”

  2. freedom 2

    Remember Gerry, lift the corner of the rug first, then sweep

    • Rosie 2.1

      +1, “and Gerry, find the biggest rug you can, we’ve got a jolly big lot to sweep under it”

  3. Pascal's bookie 3

    The Prime Minister swept into Christchurch yesterday to mop up a Gerry Brownlee mess.

  4. karol 4

    Sergeant Schultz smirks at the sloppy work of an unidentified lackey, thinking of the punishment he can use. He doesn’t know the slippery lackey is just creating a diversion for an escape operation.

  5. fender 5

    Key cleans up after Brownlee empties his bladder on the floor again..

    Addict forced to do chores before his methadone is handed out..

    Idiot wanker holds a different pole for a change..

  6. Saarbo 6

    (Through smiling gritted teeth)

    “Grab the other broom and help me you fat lazy prick”

  7. David H 7

    Jezuz Gerry get out of the way, your squeezing too way much water out.

    Fuck I thought I could walk on water.

  8. sweetd 8

    Popular successful PM has his photo taken

    • swordfish 8.1

      Pissed Buffon with unconvincing toupee tries his hand at honest day’s work for first time in life.

      • swordfish 8.1.1

        Drunk PM mops up own stinking pool of diarrhea after mistaking liquid-laxative for Single Malt.

  9. fender 9

    Drunk golfer mistakes pharmacy for putting green..

    Quick thinking pharmacy worker photographs Hawaiian overstayer committing robbery..

  10. Bill 10

    Sweeping the imminent demise of pharmac under the carpet.

  11. captain hook 11

    I thought I was king canute but I’m just a noot!

  12. fender 12

    While picking up daily meds for Key, the pregnant Brownlee’s waters broke..

  13. AB 13

    Hey guys, Gerry left his Huggies at home, but ekshully the Cabinet office says it’s all good. Do I look cool ?

  14. scotty 14

    PM caught redhanded , desparately attempting to sweep the Judith Collins fiasco under the carpet.

  15. Puckish Rogue 15

    PM sweeps yet another lacklustre labour challenger away

  16. key:..

    “..aahh!!..takes me back to my days mopping up all the shit @ merrill-lynch..eh..?..”

    ..phillip ure..

  17. gezza-brownlee assumes his usual public-loo…’wide-stance’…

    phillip ure..

  18. key:..

    ..”..i scrub and i scrub…and yet the stains won’t go away..”

    ..phillip ure..

  19. blue leopard (Get Lost GCSB Bill) 19

    Key provides a visual image of what Labour/Greens will be having to do when they get into power – clean up the mess National have created.

    Brownlee shows what a big joke he thinks the mess is.

  20. gezza-brownlie..(thinks..)

    “..whoar..!..i wish he’d do that to my pole..!”..

    ..phillip ure…

  21. wild-life photographer catches/captures rand-ites at play..

    ..phillip ure..

  22. brownlee rushes..to fill the gap…

    ..phillip ure..

  23. JK 23

    This is just like being back at PlaySkool …..

  24. blue leopard (Get Lost GCSB Bill) 24

    Key shows an example of the type of job he sees fit for the majority of New Zealanders

    Brownlee chuckles as he thinks of Key and Joyce’s latest plans for sabotaging the education system

  25. photographer captures ‘the best side’..

    ..of both key and brownlee..

    ..phillip ure..

  26. AB 26

    Gerry’s not a malicious authoritarian, he let me mop up the dirty water!

  27. key adopts the ‘relaxed’ posture..

    ..and brownlee..seeing/seizing his opportunity..

    ..moves in..

    ..phillip ure..

  28. key:.

    “..her..?..she’s from the gcsb..they’re everywhere..eh..?..”

    phillip ure..

  29. AB 29

    Oops, Gerry laughed a bit too much when I said I had a ‘blind’ trust

  30. key:..

    “..after this..big-gezza and i are going to hit the shelves…

    ..for a bit of mix and match..

    ..this is why we are both grinning ear to ear.

    ..it’s..in expectation..eh..?..”

    ..phillip ure..

  31. key:..

    “..we cant get big enough nappies for him..eh..?..”

    phillip ure..

  32. AB 32

    It would be cool to do this for the median wage – that’s $75k pa right? Easy money!

  33. key:..

    “..no..my hairpiece is not ‘lifting-off’..”

    phillip ure..

  34. key:..

    ..”..i just imagine it is all that money sloshing into my ‘blind'(heh-heh!)-trusts..”

    ..phillip ure..

  35. AB 35

    $14/hour! Jeez, productive work sucks compared to speculation!

  36. AB 36

    The $9.70 I’ll get paid for this is the only part of my 50mil I really deserve – Haha

  37. AB 37

    If I gaze at the water I can see my face! Ah one more time, if I gaze at…

  38. AB 38

    Which do I love more – redistributing wealth upwards or sweeping sh*t downwards?

  39. Papa Tuanuku 39

    Brownlee invisible pony stresses out.

  40. Papa Tuanuku 40

    Key digs nation into even bigger hole.

  41. mikesh 41

    Water, water, everywhere … … say, Gerry, didn’t we have plans to privatize the stuff at some point.

  42. AB 42

    This is my vision of your brighter future

  43. AB 43

    Gerry – when did we join “the underclass”

  44. AB 44

    “one may smile and smile and be a villain”

  45. AB 45

    Gerry – we suspended ECan, so can I steal this water too?

  46. JanM 46

    Look, Gerry, it doesn’t matter what crawls out of the woodwork, just do as I do and sweep it under the carpet!

  47. Puckish Rogue 47

    “See Phil this is how you do a photoshoot”

  48. The moment before mr key’s pole dance demonstration for a social media photo opportunity went very wrong…

  49. Plotkin 49

    Mopping up some of David’s lies of last week. Pass me a bigger bucket, please.

  50. mac1 50

    “So, I was told to come down to Christchurch to get a handle on the crisis.”

  51. Stuart Munro 51

    “Some people don’t like slime but I feel right at home.”

  52. ianmac 52

    Key floods Christchurch so that he can get his photo op. Goes to extraordinary lengths that Machivellian chap.

    • blue leopard (Get Lost GCSB Bill) 52.1

      lol

    • weka 52.2

      Key floods Christchurch so that he can get his photo op. Goes to extraordinary lengths that Machivellian chap.

      “I knew trickledown had to be of some use!”

  53. Tracey 53

    Having run out of carpet the pm started stuffing secrets down brownlees undies

  54. ropata 54

    GB: “See John, I will be the management, you pretend to be the worker”
    JK: “Hi ho, hi ho, this ‘working’ lark is a piece of piss, give me another hit of that morphine stuff”

  55. risildowgtn 55

    I have pills in my pocket! Yum

  56. whatever next? 56

    “Here’s another fine mess you’ve gotten me into”….actually, could it be….it’s spooky how much they resemble Laurel and Hardy when I look at them

  57. ‘Aren’t floods fun?!’

  58. Concerned 58

    Well somebody has to clean up Cunliffe’s mess….

    • AB 58.1

      Tory troll shows lack of wit when viewing picture of Year 1 woodwork student cleaning Mr Brownlee’s [cl]ass

      • Concerned 58.1.1

        Can’t handle the truth eh AB…suck it in…truth does hurt…Your leader’s mess is all over the place and all over the newspapers and media…

        • AB 58.1.1.1

          Aah – not a caption methinks just a weak insult. And btw I have no ‘leader’. Tories do tend to fetishise ‘leadership’ though, probably because they are natural authoritarians

  59. xtasy 59

    Hah, last night I watched a speech by Mr Goebbels, and I saw a video of “Mein Fuehrer”, and hey, it gave me ideas, get a broom or something, pretend you are one of “the people”, and your votes and coming electoral victory are “ensured”. Hence here I am , pushing shit for shits sake, to make shit happen, for my own shit purpose, for a shit PM that runs a shit country! Easy goes, it is all in “good hands”.

  60. Claris Moses 60

    Fly in. Fly out.

  61. NZ Jester 61

    Key laughs at the fact nature has delivered him another another great photo opportunity while the deputy leader of National eyes the spot in his back he is thinking about inserting his knife should the opportunity arrive for him to try for the top spot as leader of the National Party!

  62. emergency mike 62

    “You see Gerry, every natural disaster is an easy photo-op win. Just remember to grin at the camera like an idiot, the munters love it. You gonna get a broom and help or just standing there laughing at the absurdity of it? Yes of course I’m joking. Excuse me Miss? Can you pour a bucket of water here please, it doesn’t look wet enough.”

  63. the pigman 63

    Unidentified golfer mishandles croquet mallet; human hoop pulls derp face in response.

  64. The Real Matthew 64

    Key sweeps Labour aside to win Election

  65. Redzone 65

    Two unidentified politicians rush to yet another Christchurch crisis for yet another photo op. Wish they’d just piss off!

  66. red blooded 66

    Hey, no worries – after so many years in the National Party I’m used to being surrounded by this stuff. This is nothing: most of the time I have to push it uphill!

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • PM announces changes to portfolios
    Paul Goldsmith will take on responsibility for the Media and Communications portfolio, while Louise Upston will pick up the Disability Issues portfolio, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon announced today. “Our Government is relentlessly focused on getting New Zealand back on track. As issues change in prominence, I plan to adjust Ministerial ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    16 hours ago
  • New catch limits for unique fishery areas
    Recreational catch limits will be reduced in areas of Fiordland and the Chatham Islands to help keep those fisheries healthy and sustainable, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones says. The lower recreational daily catch limits for a range of finfish and shellfish species caught in the Fiordland Marine Area and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    20 hours ago
  • Minister welcomes hydrogen milestone
    Energy Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed an important milestone in New Zealand’s hydrogen future, with the opening of the country’s first network of hydrogen refuelling stations in Wiri. “I want to congratulate the team at Hiringa Energy and its partners K one W one (K1W1), Mitsui & Co New Zealand ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Urgent changes to system through first RMA Amendment Bill
    The coalition Government is delivering on its commitment to improve resource management laws and give greater certainty to consent applicants, with a Bill to amend the Resource Management Act (RMA) expected to be introduced to Parliament next month. RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop has today outlined the first RMA Amendment ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Overseas decommissioning models considered
    Overseas models for regulating the oil and gas sector, including their decommissioning regimes, are being carefully scrutinised as a potential template for New Zealand’s own sector, Resources Minister Shane Jones says. The Coalition Government is focused on rebuilding investor confidence in New Zealand’s energy sector as it looks to strengthen ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Release of North Island Severe Weather Event Inquiry
    Emergency Management and Recovery Minister Mark Mitchell has today released the Report of the Government Inquiry into the response to the North Island Severe Weather Events. “The report shows that New Zealand’s emergency management system is not fit-for-purpose and there are some significant gaps we need to address,” Mr Mitchell ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Justice Minister to attend Human Rights Council
    Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith is today travelling to Europe where he’ll update the United Nations Human Rights Council on the Government’s work to restore law and order.  “Attending the Universal Periodic Review in Geneva provides us with an opportunity to present New Zealand’s human rights progress, priorities, and challenges, while ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Patterson reopens world’s largest wool scouring facility
    Associate Agriculture Minister, Mark Patterson, formally reopened the world’s largest wool processing facility today in Awatoto, Napier, following a $50 million rebuild and refurbishment project. “The reopening of this facility will significantly lift the economic opportunities available to New Zealand’s wool sector, which already accounts for 20 per cent of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Speech to the Southland Otago Regional Engineering Collective Summit, 18 April 2024
    Hon Andrew Bayly, Minister for Small Business and Manufacturing  At the Southland Otago Regional Engineering Collective (SOREC) Summit, 18 April, Dunedin    Ngā mihi nui, Ko Andrew Bayly aho, Ko Whanganui aho    Good Afternoon and thank you for inviting me to open your summit today.    I am delighted ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Government to introduce revised Three Strikes law
    The Government is delivering on its commitment to bring back the Three Strikes legislation, Associate Justice Minister Nicole McKee announced today. “Our Government is committed to restoring law and order and enforcing appropriate consequences on criminals. We are making it clear that repeat serious violent or sexual offending is not ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • New diplomatic appointments
    Foreign Minister Winston Peters has today announced four new diplomatic appointments for New Zealand’s overseas missions.   “Our diplomats have a vital role in maintaining and protecting New Zealand’s interests around the world,” Mr Peters says.    “I am pleased to announce the appointment of these senior diplomats from the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Humanitarian support for Ethiopia and Somalia
    New Zealand is contributing NZ$7 million to support communities affected by severe food insecurity and other urgent humanitarian needs in Ethiopia and Somalia, Foreign Minister Rt Hon Winston Peters announced today.   “Over 21 million people are in need of humanitarian assistance across Ethiopia, with a further 6.9 million people ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Arts Minister congratulates Mataaho Collective
    Minister for Arts, Culture and Heritage Paul Goldsmith is congratulating Mataaho Collective for winning the Golden Lion for best participant in the main exhibition at the Venice Biennale. "Congratulations to the Mataaho Collective for winning one of the world's most prestigious art prizes at the Venice Biennale.  “It is good ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Supporting better financial outcomes for Kiwis
    The Government is reforming financial services to improve access to home loans and other lending, and strengthen customer protections, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly and Housing Minister Chris Bishop announced today. “Our coalition Government is committed to rebuilding the economy and making life simpler by cutting red tape. We are ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Trade relationship with China remains strong
    “China remains a strong commercial opportunity for Kiwi exporters as Chinese businesses and consumers continue to value our high-quality safe produce,” Trade and Agriculture Minister Todd McClay says.   Mr McClay has returned to New Zealand following visits to Beijing, Harbin and Shanghai where he met ministers, governors and mayors and engaged in trade and agricultural events with the New ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • PM’s South East Asia mission does the business
    Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has completed a successful trip to Singapore, Thailand and the Philippines, deepening relationships and capitalising on opportunities. Mr Luxon was accompanied by a business delegation and says the choice of countries represents the priority the New Zealand Government places on South East Asia, and our relationships in ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • $41m to support clean energy in South East Asia
    New Zealand is demonstrating its commitment to reducing global greenhouse emissions, and supporting clean energy transition in South East Asia, through a contribution of NZ$41 million (US$25 million) in climate finance to the Asian Development Bank (ADB)-led Energy Transition Mechanism (ETM). Prime Minister Christopher Luxon and Climate Change Minister Simon Watts announced ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Minister releases Fast-track stakeholder list
    The Government is today releasing a list of organisations who received letters about the Fast-track applications process, says RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop. “Recently Ministers and agencies have received a series of OIA requests for a list of organisations to whom I wrote with information on applying to have a ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Judicial appointments announced
    Attorney-General Judith Collins today announced the appointment of Wellington Barrister David Jonathan Boldt as a Judge of the High Court, and the Honourable Justice Matthew Palmer as a Judge of the Court of Appeal. Justice Boldt graduated with an LLB from Victoria University of Wellington in 1990, and also holds ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Education Minister heads to major teaching summit in Singapore
    Education Minister Erica Stanford will lead the New Zealand delegation at the 2024 International Summit on the Teaching Profession (ISTP) held in Singapore. The delegation includes representatives from the Post Primary Teachers’ Association (PPTA) Te Wehengarua and the New Zealand Educational Institute (NZEI) Te Riu Roa.  The summit is co-hosted ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Value of stopbank project proven during cyclone
    A stopbank upgrade project in Tairawhiti partly funded by the Government has increased flood resilience for around 7000ha of residential and horticultural land so far, Regional Development Minister Shane Jones says. Mr Jones today attended a dawn service in Gisborne to mark the end of the first stage of the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Anzac commemorations, Türkiye relationship focus of visit
    Foreign Affairs Minister Winston Peters will represent the Government at Anzac Day commemorations on the Gallipoli Peninsula next week and engage with senior representatives of the Turkish government in Istanbul.    “The Gallipoli campaign is a defining event in our history. It will be a privilege to share the occasion ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Minister to Europe for OECD meeting, Anzac Day
    Science, Innovation and Technology and Defence Minister Judith Collins will next week attend the OECD Science and Technology Ministerial conference in Paris and Anzac Day commemorations in Belgium. “Science, innovation and technology have a major role to play in rebuilding our economy and achieving better health, environmental and social outcomes ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Comprehensive Partnership the goal for NZ and the Philippines
    Prime Minister Christopher Luxon held a bilateral meeting today with the President of the Philippines, Ferdinand Marcos Jr.  The Prime Minister was accompanied by MP Paulo Garcia, the first Filipino to be elected to a legislature outside the Philippines. During today’s meeting, Prime Minister Luxon and President Marcos Jr discussed opportunities to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Government commits $20m to Westport flood protection
    The Government has announced that $20 million in funding will be made available to Westport to fund much needed flood protection around the town. This measure will significantly improve the resilience of the community, says Local Government Minister Simeon Brown. “The Westport community has already been allocated almost $3 million ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Taupō takes pole position
    The Government is proud to support the first ever Repco Supercars Championship event in Taupō as up to 70,000 motorsport fans attend the Taupō International Motorsport Park this weekend, says Economic Development Minister Melissa Lee. “Anticipation for the ITM Taupō Super400 is huge, with tickets and accommodation selling out weeks ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Cost of living support for low-income homeowners
    Local Government Minister Simeon Brown has announced an increase to the Rates Rebate Scheme, putting money back into the pockets of low-income homeowners.  “The coalition Government is committed to bringing down the cost of living for New Zealanders. That includes targeted support for those Kiwis who are doing things tough, such ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Government backing mussel spat project
    The Coalition Government is investing in a project to boost survival rates of New Zealand mussels and grow the industry, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones has announced. “This project seeks to increase the resilience of our mussels and significantly boost the sector’s productivity,” Mr Jones says. “The project - ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Government focused on getting people into work
    Benefit figures released today underscore the importance of the Government’s plan to rebuild the economy and have 50,000 fewer people on Jobseeker Support, Social Development and Employment Minister Louise Upston says. “Benefit numbers are still significantly higher than when National was last in government, when there was about 70,000 fewer ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Clean energy key driver to reducing emissions
    The Government’s commitment to doubling New Zealand’s renewable energy capacity is backed by new data showing that clean energy has helped the country reach its lowest annual gross emissions since 1999, Climate Change Minister Simon Watts says. New Zealand’s latest Greenhouse Gas Inventory (1990-2022) published today, shows gross emissions fell ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Earthquake-prone buildings review brought forward
    The Government is bringing the earthquake-prone building review forward, with work to start immediately, and extending the deadline for remediations by four years, Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk says. “Our Government is focused on rebuilding the economy. A key part of our plan is to cut red tape that ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Thailand and NZ to agree to Strategic Partnership
    Prime Minister Christopher Luxon and his Thai counterpart, Prime Minister Srettha Thavisin, have today agreed that New Zealand and the Kingdom of Thailand will upgrade the bilateral relationship to a Strategic Partnership by 2026. “New Zealand and Thailand have a lot to offer each other. We have a strong mutual desire to build ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Government consults on extending coastal permits for ports
    RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop and Transport Minister Simeon Brown have today announced the Coalition Government’s intention to extend port coastal permits for a further 20 years, providing port operators with certainty to continue their operations. “The introduction of the Resource Management Act in 1991 required ports to obtain coastal ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Inflation coming down, but more work to do
    Today’s announcement that inflation is down to 4 per cent is encouraging news for Kiwis, but there is more work to be done - underlining the importance of the Government’s plan to get the economy back on track, acting Finance Minister Chris Bishop says. “Inflation is now at 4 per ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • School attendance restored as a priority in health advice
    Refreshed health guidance released today will help parents and schools make informed decisions about whether their child needs to be in school, addressing one of the key issues affecting school attendance, says Associate Education Minister David Seymour. In recent years, consistently across all school terms, short-term illness or medical reasons ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Unnecessary bureaucracy cut in oceans sector
    Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones is streamlining high-level oceans management while maintaining a focus on supporting the sector’s role in the export-led recovery of the economy. “I am working to realise the untapped potential of our fishing and aquaculture sector. To achieve that we need to be smarter with ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Patterson promoting NZ’s wool sector at International Congress
    Associate Agriculture Minister Mark Patterson is speaking at the International Wool Textile Organisation Congress in Adelaide, promoting New Zealand wool, and outlining the coalition Government’s support for the revitalisation the sector.    "New Zealand’s wool exports reached $400 million in the year to 30 June 2023, and the coalition Government ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Removing red tape to help early learners thrive
    The Government is making legislative changes to make it easier for new early learning services to be established, and for existing services to operate, Associate Education Minister David Seymour says. The changes involve repealing the network approval provisions that apply when someone wants to establish a new early learning service, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • RMA changes to cut coal mining consent red tape
    Changes to the Resource Management Act will align consenting for coal mining to other forms of mining to reduce barriers that are holding back economic development, Resources Minister Shane Jones says. “The inconsistent treatment of coal mining compared with other extractive activities is burdensome red tape that fails to acknowledge ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • McClay reaffirms strong NZ-China trade relationship
    Trade, Agriculture and Forestry Minister Todd McClay has concluded productive discussions with ministerial counterparts in Beijing today, in support of the New Zealand-China trade and economic relationship. “My meeting with Commerce Minister Wang Wentao reaffirmed the complementary nature of the bilateral trade relationship, with our Free Trade Agreement at its ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago

Page generated in The Standard by Wordpress at 2024-04-24T16:37:36+00:00