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Caption competition

Written By: - Date published: 4:05 pm, March 12th, 2015 - 108 comments
Categories: caption contest, phil twyford - Tags: ,

Sometimes life imitates art. This is the picture that Phil Twyford was ejected from question time for displaying. Might as well turn it in to a – caption competition!

pork-barrel

108 comments on “Caption competition”

  1. Hayden 1

    “The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”

    • Sanctuary 1.1

      “Bridge or no bridge, he said, life would go on as it had always gone on in Northland–that is, badly.”

  2. tc 2

    Snouter was curious at the new additions to his sty but felt relaxed about it as he was good friends with the smelly one requesting a belly rub.

  3. r0b 3

    National taking political pork to new levels.

  4. mary_a 4

    Natsies playing piggy in the muddle … (insertion of u intentional).

  5. i’m sick of seeing this bullshit

  6. r0b 6

    Key didn’t just make a pig’s ear of banging in that nail, he made a whole pig…

  7. Clemgeopin 7

    Like the five eyes, the five pigs club.

  8. irascible 8

    John watched frrom behind the hoarding as Steven, Mark and Simon advertised another new trough.

  9. AB 9

    Pork and turnip-heads

  10. Steve Cain 10

    Pork – what pork? I don’t see any pork!

  11. One Anonymous Bloke 11

    Mike Sabin, shapeshifter par excellence.

  12. Atiawa 12

    Mike, the first little pig built his house from straw.
    Mark, the second little pig built his house from wood.

  13. “Communication in pigs is mainly vocal; there are ~20 different recognized sounds. The grunt is one of the most common sounds, given in response to familiar sounds or while looking for food (rooting). A short grunt is given when the pig is excited, whereas a long grunt is a contact call and normally associated with pleasurable stimuli. When pigs are aroused they may squeal, and they may scream when hurt. Dominant pigs bark at subordinate pigs as a threat.”

    On that basis, there’s a good chance the porker in question is a comms advisor to the PM.

  14. rawshark-yeshe 14

    National includes necessary visual recognition tool of actual sow’s ear while they attempt manufacture of their silk purse.

  15. rawshark-yeshe 15

    ( and pardon me, but wtf is Sabin doing in any pictures at all ???)

    • jenny kirk 15.1

      Well – rawshark-yeshe – his picture hasn’t been banned, only what he’s done !

      • rawshark-yeshe 15.1.1

        so they are still happy to have him supporting their campaign ?

        baby cheeses, as tracey would say.

  16. rawshark-yeshe 16

    Poor pig called Pearl is confused by swine cast in front of her.

  17. rawshark-yeshe 17

    the bible has the best caption of all ..

    Matthew 7:6 : “Do not cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.”

    Go piggy !

  18. Failed candidate screams obscenities at picture of his leader and begins destroying own sign after Winston whitewash in Northland.

  19. mac1 19

    “You can tell a man that boozes by the company he chooses,”
    Then the pig got up and slowly walked away.

  20. fender 20

    No sign of this pig flying.

    Man removes hammer from Keys head after billboard mishap.

    Joyce and Collins attend billboard erection, Garner watches on.

  21. joe90 21

    Once upon a time when pigs spoke rhyme
    And Key chewed tobacco,
    And Stephen took snuff to make him tough,
    And Mark went quack, quack, quack, O!

    http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/type0124.html#halliwell

  22. felix 22

    “Someone get that disgusting fucking pig out of here”

    “We did, boss. That’s why we’re having a by-election”

  23. b waghorn 23

    This little piggy holds the hammer,
    The next little piggy holds his tail,
    This little pigger supervises,
    The next little piggy says poo what’s this smell,
    The last little piggy is in hiding possibly on his way to a cell.

  24. 4 tools and an even toed ungulate

  25. This little piggy played the markets,
    And this little piggy stayed home,
    This little piggy wants a new job,
    ‘Cause this little piggy has none,
    And this little piggy goes “Wee wee wee, what are all these porkers doing in my home?”

  26. the pigman 26

    5 pigs.

    • Clemgeopin 26.1

      Did you see ‘the smartest, the cutest, the nicest, the most innocent, the most honest, and the least evil of them all’ in that picture? I did!

  27. Tautoko Mangō Mata 27

    Pig: “They really think they are going to bring home the bacon! Time to strap on my wings.”

  28. b waghorn 28

    50 years of giving nortland nothing ,we better build them some bridges so they get over it.

  29. Clemgeopin 29

    This is what is meant by hitting the nail on its head.

  30. greywarshark 30

    Change of flag, change of region names, they’re on our UNACT priority list. Starting with Northland. We’re going to do a Cheshire cat job on this one, slowly fading letters till it’s Notland. That’ll learn them, always grizzling and trying to improve their fiscal portion on the basis of their considered importance. Huh!

  31. Clemgeopin 31

    A public erection
    ..for privately created Nat’s by-election.

  32. peterlepaysan 32

    A ha! So this is what a “put up” job is!

  33. saveNZ 33

    If the Nats had their way the pig would be in a sow crate.

  34. Peter Watt 34

    And this little pig went wee, wee, wee all the way home!

  35. Incognito 35

    Good Friday is only 3 weeks away and National has been doing a lot of practice hammering nails. I can only assume that Gerry Brownlee is putting his woodwork skills to good use in making The Cross. All eyes were on a Kauri in Titirangi but KDC and Nicky Hager thwarted that idea, the bastards.

  36. A more accurate hoarding would read

    Pork O’Barrel
    Irrational
    Covering for
    Mike Sabin

  37. SPC 37

    Mike, Mark and the gospel of John.

    If it looks like a pig, sounds like a pig and fucks like a pig, its a …

  38. Puckish Rogue 38

    Introducing the next MP for Northland

  39. jeff 39

    “Shit Steven. I could have done a better job with that nail, if you hadn’t left my Bob the Builder hat back in the office. “

  40. Unveiling Joyce’s master-minded Pigouvian Tax……for the negative externalities created by the National Party. “Sow-Sowrry” he was heard to say.

  41. Clemgeopin 41

    Bugger me, Stevie! Look, awkshully, to be honest, between you and me, I reckon, that at the end of the day, this pig’s days are hopelessly numbered!

  42. David H 42

    When are these bloody pigs going to leave my Paddock? and take your bloody garbage with you.

  43. risildowgtn 43

    We’re ready to trough even more
    Even brought our mother

  44. alwyn 44

    In the background lurked a local Green Party activist.
    As soon as they left he would carry out his party assigned duty defacing National Party billboards.

    • rawshark-yeshe 44.1

      my my, why so bitterly sour ?

      • alwyn 44.1.1

        That’s not bitter old chap. This following example is bitter and you loved it.
        Each to his own I suppose.

        ““Someone get that disgusting fucking pig out of here”
        “We did, boss. That’s why we’re having a by-election”

        Reply
        rawshark-yeshe 22.1

        12 March 2015 at 7:53 pm

        love u felix !”

        • rawshark-yeshe 44.1.1.1

          🙄

        • greywarshark 44.1.1.2

          Is that all your own work alwyn at 44.1.1? I don’t think plagiarism is allowed in this caption contest. Something fresh and original from you is what we readers are hoping for.

          • alwyn 44.1.1.2.1

            Of course it isn’t old fellow.
            I put it in quotes because it was taken from a little earlier in this post.
            This was the sort of remark that rawshark-yesme seemed to think was clever.
            Then he had the gall to claim that mine was bitter!

      • greywarshark 44.1.2

        @ rawshark-yeshe
        I think we should leave alwyn alone as he is a very sensitive little sausage – more a saveloy. And he has the right to have a bitter caption. Commenting on the sensitive goes off the rails.

        • McFlock 44.1.2.1

          saveloys are red, at least on the outside 🙂

        • rawshark-yeshe 44.1.2.2

          dear ‘old fellow’ greywarshark .. point fairly taken .. signed: old chap rawsharkyeshe
          (who knew this much about either of us :grin:)

          it wasn’t the bitter btw, it was the sourness.

  45. joe90 45

    FNDC asset manager seeks larger trough.

  46. whateva next? 46

    Pork, Porkies, porkies and porkers

  47. greywarshark 47

    I’ve just come out to have a decko at that there high-up sign. It’s good to see a well-built member of our family grinning proudly and showing how we’re getting on in the world.

  48. Capn Insano 48

    “My thumb! I put a nail through my fucking thumb!!”

  49. Clemgeopin 49

    Q : How many Nats does it take to hammer a nail?

  50. Clemgeopin 50

    Four big swine and a thoughtful little pet apparently!

  51. Ecosse_Maidy 51

    National concedes and removes the signs early.

  52. Sable 52

    Wonder if the pigs wearing lipstick.

  53. Treetop 53

    Where is that piggy in the middle Winswine?

    He’s the one I would back to go wee wee wee all the way home.

  54. Ecosse_Maidy 54

    Ok, I told you….you were not required here..we can manage…
    Go home Paula!

  55. Ecosse_Maidy 55

    The Independent Swine Pig Party representative, was appalled that the Fascist, Bigoted, Homophobic Swine Party had shown up to campaign on their patch

  56. Ecosse_Maidy 56

    Peppa The Pig on Vacation, thought they really dont get it, do they? Its not Uber Swine before Swine…Its meant to be Pearls before Swine…Oh Well..

  57. Ecosse_Maidy 57

    Right we have managed that with two of us…Lets get back to HQ and see if the three of us can replace that fooking light bulb!

  58. Ecosse_Maidy 58

    Christ…if only I had bloody wings I could get away from these *********!

  59. Ecosse_Maidy 59

    Lads,,,,I don’t want to be the bearer of very bad news…yet that car that whizzed past..
    Its Pete George
    Hes come to help and fact check on the campaign!!!!

    Let’s call John and tell him to concede as the campaign is now truly lost

  60. Ecosse_Maidy 60

    Peppa, thought what a bunch of morons, even she knew its meant to be pin the tail on the donkey, not nail the candidate..Bloody Humans!

  61. Ecosse_Maidy 61

    Pig thought, i knew it,,,I can smell **** from miles away!

  62. Ecosse_Maidy 62

    Fellas I ain’t being funny,, that looks nothing like replacing a bridge as we were ordered

    • b waghorn 62.1

      Once this elections out of the way we will re use this sign as a bridge, that way we’ll achieve surplus in 2117

  63. Ecosse_Maidy 63

    Jabba Keys & Jabba Osbourne show of their promotional mug shots that were going to be used in Star wars The Pre Sequel.

  64. Ecosse_Maidy 64

    Fellas,whos standing back….. please don’t take the piss out of me, I am looking at them both,,,
    ,I cant see any difference between either of them, they both look complete bastards to me!

  65. Ecosse_Maidy 65

    That’s enough!
    Us Pigs have rights too!

    I am damaged beyond belief to be in the same photo as those dickheads……

    I am not a number I am a living thoughtful being

  66. Ecosse_Maidy 66

    I am a Pig,
    if I try I can lick my own arse, bet you lot cant…
    oh oh, i take that back…

    You probably can..

  67. Ecosse_Maidy 67

    You can tell a man by the company he keeps..and with that the pig got up and walked away.
    (with that the Pig got on her Harley and zoomed off to the nearest bar)

  68. Ecosse_Maidy 68

    After a long search Karol was found safe and well

    • greywarshark 68.1

      e M
      Better leave Karol out – she may not choose to mix with this company.

  69. Ecosse_Maidy 69

    Right, I am putting in a complaint to my agent
    …I was told I was to star in Babe Four…..Not …..Nazis Come To Northland

  70. Ecosse_Maidy 70

    I am a Pig, I can push, come to shove, think and use tools……

    So whats your lots excuse?

  71. Ecosse_Maidy 71

    Of all the fields in all the fields in CasaNorthland, you bastards had to come in my joint………….

    Nail it again Sam

  72. Ecosse_Maidy 72

    Peppa Pig……….”You lot are telling Porkie Pies and I cant even see the fooking poster!”

  73. Ecosse_Maidy 73

    Jesus Kylie you have changed, how did the latest cosmetic surgery go?

  74. Ecosse_Maidy 74

    Shouldn’t we get that Pig out of the photo shot?
    No its ok Mate, its one of our under cover GCB agents..

    .phewwww that’s ok then

  75. Ffloyd 75

    Mark Osbourne! Porking for Northland!

  76. Clemgeopin 76

    The Old Wise Winston had a farm,

    E-I-E-I-O.

    And on that farm came some dirty pigs,

    E-I-E-I-O.

    With a oink bribe here,
    And a oink bribe there,
    Here a bribe, there a bribe,
    Everywhere a bloody bribe!

    E-I-E-I-O.

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    Health Minister Dr David Clark says new data showing a sharp drop in the number of people who can’t afford to visit their GP is a sign of real progress. One year after the Government made it cheaper for about 600,000 Kiwis to visit their doctor, results of the New ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
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