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Caption competition

Written By: - Date published: 3:16 pm, July 31st, 2015 - 75 comments
Categories: caption contest - Tags:

Hannah Peters/Getty Images:

blue-key

75 comments on “Caption competition”

  1. freedom 1

    jeepers John, but the label said there might be a blue tinge from those pills ….

  2. mac1 2

    “It’s a recessive gene trait, John, called hitchhiker’s thumb; you’ll be needing it in 2017.”

  3. Capn Insano 3

    The other Smurfs preferred not to talk about Evil Smurf with strangers.

  4. Capn Insano 4

    New Zealand Prime Minister John Key tries Colloidal silver in a bid to reverse his near-terminal rampant narcissism.

  5. thechangeling 5

    Beam me up E.T I’m all done here with exterminating the human race!

  6. Skinny 6

    “So John you know how it goes… the temptation was too much…so I just grabbed her ponytail and just cut it like this.’

    “Oh nice…not only are you a great pollster David but your very creepy too.. I like your style.”

  7. maui 7

    Key laughs off a real builder’s thumb with “mine looks a lot worse than that!”

    • HumPrac 7.1

      Hahahaha, I think his/its thumb would look the same as a builders thumb, except not from being hit by a hammer, but rather from being sucked his/its whole life.
      I mean, he really is a SUCKer who is not growing up.

  8. freedom 8

    “Willy Wonka’s? Never heard of the place!”

  9. Anno1701 9

    JK preparing for new role in Las Vegas

  10. lprent 10

    John Key demonstrates his firefly GE patch.
    Admits that Bronwyn may problems sleeping, but says that he is relaxed about that.

  11. maui 11

    Prime Minister stuck inside Novopay system in real life TRON thriller.

  12. James 12

    Its the worse case of “Blue Balls” they had ever seen.

  13. James 14

    Better to have the Blues than be green with envy.

  14. simon 15

    As a Labour party member I see this as lame/petty and probably functions to turn away people from the Labour party. The party still needs to figure out what went so wrong in 2014 and shit like this ain’t going to help. Childish (sorry to children) and lame lame lame. Grow up, look inside the party and figure it out. Stop with this externalizing shit.

    [This is not a Labour Party blog, Simon. TRP]

    • swordfish 15.1

      Are you envisaging something along these lines, Simon ?

      Scenario One

      NZ Labour Party Council member 1: “We need to figure out what went so wrong in 2014 and fast !!!”

      NZ Labour Party Council member 2: “Believe me, we’re trying to but a relatively obscure Caption Contest on THE STANDARD blogsite is making it all but impossible !!!”

      Scenario Two

      Ordinary Punter: “I feel like it’s time to join the Labour Party and get active. I’ve had it up to here with this friggin government.”

      Ordinary Punter’s Spouse: “Whoa there !!!, You do realise a Left-leaning Blog has recently posted a relatively obscure Caption Competition illustrated by a photo of John Key bathed in fluorescent blue light ?”

      Ordinary Punter: “Awwww, for the love of God !!! They just blew it BIG TIME !!! I’m voting National.”

      • Simon 15.1.1

        NZ Labour Party Council Member 1: I wonder why blue collar workers, students, teachers etc. are voting National?

        NZ Labour Party Council Member 2: I’m not sure, but what I do know is that it has nothing to do with the widely held perception that we are a dysfunctional party, and the belief that a dysfunctional party will be disastrous for the country.

        NZ Labour Party Council Member 3: I agree, the public understands that a collection of career politicians is exactly what the country needs. I mean, just look at the traction that Jacinda Ardern has made on the child poverty issue in the last 7 years. At this rate, it will only be a few decades before the government may be pushed to DEFINE poverty…imagine that.

        Ordinary Punter: Nothing like seeing long time Labour party members posting links on twitter to childish caption competitions for the PM. Not at all congruent with the perception that the Labour party is a college of self interested sycophants who seem totally unable to get their collective heads out of their collective asses and do what needs to be done to make the party relevant again.

  15. hello 16

    PM or Blue Waffle

  16. Dated n Jaded 17

    I want you to roll John Beaurgarde into the boat and take him along to the Juicing Room at once. ‘Kay?

  17. cogito 18

    PM eyes up thumb now that ponytail out of bounds.

  18. Richard@Down South 19

    Good TPPA deal? John Key Blue it

  19. John Key denies taking the money even though the dye pack discharge was sort of obvious.

  20. Ad 22

    “I have worn the National Ring of Power on for so long now…”

  21. man takes love of Avatar to absurd lengths with permanent full body paintjob – when asked he said, “Nahfin to she hay mate”.

  22. les 25

    ‘The Blue Man, also known as Eternal Evil, is a 1985 Canadian film directed by George Mihalka.’

  23. Dated n Jaded 27

    Look, at the end of the day, there wont be any side effects from the TPPA to worry about, I’m very comfortable with that.

    Buy the way, luvin that fully erect thumb mate…

    • HumPrac 27.1

      I find it amusing when people use the word “look” in their sentences. It happens when people are trying to assert a false sense of authority into their words.
      I giggle to myself, knowing that the person using it in sentences, is insecure about themselves, so hide that insecurity by ensuring to inject false authority into their speech.
      Once again, I just laugh to myself when I hear it.

  24. Stuart Munro 28

    Navi expelled from the tribe for deviance have their hair cut off, and can no longer form Tsaheylu.

  25. Sable 29

    I’m fine if I sit on a rock in the sun every morning for a hour or so…..

  26. Stuart Munro 30

    King Kull is here to see me? No, I’m not nervous in the least…

  27. Tel 31

    Wanker meets muppet

  28. Paul Campbell 32

    There’s no global warming, honest, look

  29. Hanswurst 33

    Breaking news: Smurfs acquire rights to Nightmare on Elm Street franchise.

  30. Purple pill 34

    “Whatever. We kiwis only take yeah, nah, maybe for an answer” – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2uCNd1AVJo

    Or

    “In the Court of the Blue King” – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnQATA2jPXY

    Cat’s foot iron claw
    Neuro-surgeons scream for more
    At paranoia’s poison door.
    Twenty first century schizoid man.

    Blood rack barbed wire
    Politicians’ funeral pyre
    Innocents raped with napalm fire
    Twenty first century schizoid man.

    Death seed blind man’s greed
    Poets’ starving children bleed
    Nothing he’s got he really needs
    Twenty first century schizoid man

  31. Mike Boon 35

    Cameron thanks Key for lenient tax laws with part in new Avatar movie.

  32. b waghorn 36

    Do I look bald in this light?

  33. HumPrac 37

    Instead of a caption, I’ll do some song lyrics (based on the crooked thumb in the image)

    Verse 1
    There was a crooked man
    with a crooked little grin,
    He had a crooked shirt
    from a crooked rubbish bin,
    He had a crooked view
    with a crooked little back,
    Lets all get together and give the
    crooked man the sack.
    Verse 2
    He had a crooked “friend”
    with a crooked little smile,
    He had some crooked money
    for a crooked little while,
    They all lived together on a
    crooked little earth
    When all is said and done,
    he had such little worth.
    Verse 3
    There was a crooked day
    when he sold his crooked soul,
    Attaining massive wealth
    was his one and only goal,
    He pushed all others down just to
    put himself on top,
    There surely comes a time when
    all of this must stop.

    Please add your own verse if you can, but make sure it rhymes.

    • mac1 37.1

      There’ll come a looked for day
      when we all will well agree
      That we put full and final paid
      to this crooked little spree;
      We all go down to the polling place
      on that day before it’s dark,
      and upon the voting paper
      we place our crooked mark.

      The box for crooked National
      We intentionally leave blank,
      cos to vote for them we still get all
      the same collective wank;
      our crooked little tick we place
      in some progressive box,
      and with red or green or pinkish hue
      give blue the crooked pox.

      • HumPrac 37.1.1

        Haha, nice one.

      • Ecosse_Maidy 37.1.2

        chorus,………..
        Ah ha
        Oh oh don’t let the public know
        Ah ah
        Oh oh don’t let the public know
        Ah ha
        Oh oh don’t let the pubic know..

        Oh yes Johns truths got a hole in it and John will frown.
        Oh yes Johns truths got hole in it to bring him down.

  34. G C 38

    Anything to Please Gargamel

  35. Incognito 39

    ACT is not the only party with a holographic leader!

  36. Incognito 40

    John Key doing an uncanny improvisation of “lying till you’re blue in the face”.

  37. Incognito 41

    The Hitchhiker to the Galaxy trying to get away from John Key reciting Vogon poetry.

  38. Incognito 42

    John Key overindulged on Fonterra’s blue cheese.

  39. Incognito 43

    Reptilians prefer blue light.

  40. Incognito 44

    Eyes are windows to the Soul.

  41. Incognito 45

    John Key sees the Invisible Hand for the first time!

  42. Jesus Wept 46

    Dennis Hopper hooks his thumb left and says, “Get the fuck out of my movie”.

  43. JAG 47

    Robert A. Heinlein was right, as John Keys corporate alien puppet-master exposed in blue light of Trans Pacific Partnership Alert-ray beam.

  44. Ecoss_Maidy 48

    You Muppets,,,I said i wanted to appear in a Blue Movie……!

  45. Ecoss_Maidy 49

    Keys penis enhancement operation, went a tad awry!

  46. Ecoss_Maidy 50

    Blue Loon, you saw me standing alone,
    Without a dream in my heart
    Without a love of my own…….

  47. Ecoss_Maidy 51

    Keys set a very bad example,,after not donning his protective goggles at the sun bed convention

  48. Ecoss_Maidy 52

    Take 34, Phewww, Lets try again John? Rock, Paper, Scissors???? Come on John…u must have a clue?

  49. Ecoss_Maidy 53

    Flunkey offers privilege of rank to Keys…..Suck on My Thumb John……not your own!!!

  50. Ecoss_Maidy 54

    Speak to the thumb John!!!!!!!

  51. Ecoss_Maidy 55

    Only a few more minutes to go John…..Keep holding!!!!……..1001 1002 1003………….keep holding 1004 1005 1006 1007……………..

  52. Ecoss_Maidy 56

    John relieves himself at new human Urinal and get the auto thumbs up to shake…

  53. Ecoss_Maidy 57

    Noooooo it isn’t a book or a film of a play…..its you!…the thumb’s a dickhead.

  54. Ecoss_Maidy 58

    RhapCatasophy In Blue

  55. Ecoss_Maidy 59

    NZ PM, first to get Fired on The PM’s of the World Apprentice..show

  56. Ecoss_Maidy 60

    Right John….if i add one thumb to one thumb and i take away one thumb what am i left with?

    Now think!

  57. Ecoss_Maidy 61

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