Caption competition

75 comments on “Caption competition”

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1. freedom 1

   31 July 2015 at 3:31 pm

   jeepers John, but the label said there might be a blue tinge from those pills ….

2. mac1 2

   31 July 2015 at 3:37 pm

   “It’s a recessive gene trait, John, called hitchhiker’s thumb; you’ll be needing it in 2017.”

   • James 2.1

     31 July 2015 at 4:01 pm

     They said that in 2008, and 2011, and 2014 …. its getting old.

     • mac1 2.1.1

       31 July 2015 at 4:19 pm

       Remember though, James, that this is Simon Bridges saying it…….. 🙂

3. Capn Insano 3

   31 July 2015 at 3:38 pm

   The other Smurfs preferred not to talk about Evil Smurf with strangers.

4. Capn Insano 4

   31 July 2015 at 3:40 pm

   New Zealand Prime Minister John Key tries Colloidal silver in a bid to reverse his near-terminal rampant narcissism.

   • HumPrac 4.1

     31 July 2015 at 9:52 pm

     You may like the following book very much…
     http://manipulism.com/
     or
     
     You have the choice of paperback, ebook, or audio-book.
     Enjoy.

5. thechangeling 5

   31 July 2015 at 3:43 pm

   Beam me up E.T I’m all done here with exterminating the human race!

6. Skinny 6

   31 July 2015 at 3:44 pm

   “So John you know how it goes… the temptation was too much…so I just grabbed her ponytail and just cut it like this.’

   “Oh nice…not only are you a great pollster David but your very creepy too.. I like your style.”

7. maui 7

   31 July 2015 at 3:48 pm

   Key laughs off a real builder’s thumb with “mine looks a lot worse than that!”

   • HumPrac 7.1

     31 July 2015 at 9:58 pm

     Hahahaha, I think his/its thumb would look the same as a builders thumb, except not from being hit by a hammer, but rather from being sucked his/its whole life.
     I mean, he really is a SUCKer who is not growing up.

8. freedom 8

   31 July 2015 at 3:49 pm

   “Willy Wonka’s? Never heard of the place!”

9. Anno1701 9

   31 July 2015 at 3:50 pm

   JK preparing for new role in Las Vegas

   • mickysavage 9.1

     31 July 2015 at 4:17 pm

     But Blue Man Group believe in climate change …

10. lprent 10

    31 July 2015 at 3:52 pm

    John Key demonstrates his firefly GE patch.
    Admits that Bronwyn may problems sleeping, but says that he is relaxed about that.

11. maui 11

    31 July 2015 at 4:02 pm

    Prime Minister stuck inside Novopay system in real life TRON thriller.

12. James 12

    31 July 2015 at 4:02 pm

    Its the worse case of “Blue Balls” they had ever seen.

13. te reo putake 13

    31 July 2015 at 4:03 pm

14. James 14

    31 July 2015 at 4:04 pm

    Better to have the Blues than be green with envy.

15. simon 15

    31 July 2015 at 4:19 pm

    As a Labour party member I see this as lame/petty and probably functions to turn away people from the Labour party. The party still needs to figure out what went so wrong in 2014 and shit like this ain’t going to help. Childish (sorry to children) and lame lame lame. Grow up, look inside the party and figure it out. Stop with this externalizing shit.
    
    [This is not a Labour Party blog, Simon. TRP]

    • swordfish 15.1

      31 July 2015 at 6:06 pm

      Are you envisaging something along these lines, Simon ?

      Scenario One

      NZ Labour Party Council member 1: “We need to figure out what went so wrong in 2014 and fast !!!”

      NZ Labour Party Council member 2: “Believe me, we’re trying to but a relatively obscure Caption Contest on THE STANDARD blogsite is making it all but impossible !!!”

      Scenario Two

      Ordinary Punter: “I feel like it’s time to join the Labour Party and get active. I’ve had it up to here with this friggin government.”

      Ordinary Punter’s Spouse: “Whoa there !!!, You do realise a Left-leaning Blog has recently posted a relatively obscure Caption Competition illustrated by a photo of John Key bathed in fluorescent blue light ?”

      Ordinary Punter: “Awwww, for the love of God !!! They just blew it BIG TIME !!! I’m voting National.”

      • Simon 15.1.1

        31 July 2015 at 7:24 pm

        NZ Labour Party Council Member 1: I wonder why blue collar workers, students, teachers etc. are voting National?

        NZ Labour Party Council Member 2: I’m not sure, but what I do know is that it has nothing to do with the widely held perception that we are a dysfunctional party, and the belief that a dysfunctional party will be disastrous for the country.

        NZ Labour Party Council Member 3: I agree, the public understands that a collection of career politicians is exactly what the country needs. I mean, just look at the traction that Jacinda Ardern has made on the child poverty issue in the last 7 years. At this rate, it will only be a few decades before the government may be pushed to DEFINE poverty…imagine that.

        Ordinary Punter: Nothing like seeing long time Labour party members posting links on twitter to childish caption competitions for the PM. Not at all congruent with the perception that the Labour party is a college of self interested sycophants who seem totally unable to get their collective heads out of their collective asses and do what needs to be done to make the party relevant again.

16. hello 16

    31 July 2015 at 4:28 pm

    PM or Blue Waffle

17. Dated n Jaded 17

    31 July 2015 at 4:38 pm

    I want you to roll John Beaurgarde into the boat and take him along to the Juicing Room at once. ‘Kay?

18. cogito 18

    31 July 2015 at 4:53 pm

    PM eyes up thumb now that ponytail out of bounds.

    • HumPrac 18.1

      31 July 2015 at 9:30 pm

      +1 vote for this

19. Richard@Down South 19

    31 July 2015 at 5:00 pm

    Good TPPA deal? John Key Blue it

    • Jenny Kirk 19.1

      1 August 2015 at 6:44 pm

      + 100% – best caption yet, R@DS

20. marty mars 20

    31 July 2015 at 5:07 pm

    John Key denies taking the money even though the dye pack discharge was sort of obvious.

21. Cemetery Jones 21

    31 July 2015 at 5:13 pm

    Smurfin’ USSA

22. Ad 22

    31 July 2015 at 5:17 pm

    “I have worn the National Ring of Power on for so long now…”

23. Rosemary McDonald 23

    31 July 2015 at 5:18 pm

    I’m bluer than blue…..

    http://www.metrolyrics.com/bluer-than-blue-lyrics-barry-manilow.html

24. marty mars 24

    31 July 2015 at 5:20 pm

    man takes love of Avatar to absurd lengths with permanent full body paintjob – when asked he said, “Nahfin to she hay mate”.

25. les 25

    31 July 2015 at 5:22 pm

    ‘The Blue Man, also known as Eternal Evil, is a 1985 Canadian film directed by George Mihalka.’

26. BM 26

    31 July 2015 at 5:22 pm

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BinWA0EenDY

    Ear worm

27. Dated n Jaded 27

    31 July 2015 at 5:32 pm

    Look, at the end of the day, there wont be any side effects from the TPPA to worry about, I’m very comfortable with that.

    Buy the way, luvin that fully erect thumb mate…

    • HumPrac 27.1

      31 July 2015 at 9:41 pm

      I find it amusing when people use the word “look” in their sentences. It happens when people are trying to assert a false sense of authority into their words.
      I giggle to myself, knowing that the person using it in sentences, is insecure about themselves, so hide that insecurity by ensuring to inject false authority into their speech.
      Once again, I just laugh to myself when I hear it.

28. Stuart Munro 28

    31 July 2015 at 5:56 pm

    Navi expelled from the tribe for deviance have their hair cut off, and can no longer form Tsaheylu.

29. Sable 29

    31 July 2015 at 5:57 pm

    I’m fine if I sit on a rock in the sun every morning for a hour or so…..

30. Stuart Munro 30

    31 July 2015 at 6:01 pm

    King Kull is here to see me? No, I’m not nervous in the least…

31. Tel 31

    31 July 2015 at 6:05 pm

    Wanker meets muppet

32. Paul Campbell 32

    31 July 2015 at 6:26 pm

    There’s no global warming, honest, look

33. Hanswurst 33

    31 July 2015 at 6:36 pm

    Breaking news: Smurfs acquire rights to Nightmare on Elm Street franchise.

    • HumPrac 33.1

      31 July 2015 at 9:44 pm

      http://smurfs.wikia.com/wiki/Greedy_Smurf
      http://smurfs.wikia.com/wiki/Clumsy_Smurf

34. Purple pill 34

    31 July 2015 at 6:55 pm

    “Whatever. We kiwis only take yeah, nah, maybe for an answer” – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2uCNd1AVJo

    Or

    “In the Court of the Blue King” – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnQATA2jPXY

    Cat’s foot iron claw
    Neuro-surgeons scream for more
    At paranoia’s poison door.
    Twenty first century schizoid man.

    Blood rack barbed wire
    Politicians’ funeral pyre
    Innocents raped with napalm fire
    Twenty first century schizoid man.

    Death seed blind man’s greed
    Poets’ starving children bleed
    Nothing he’s got he really needs
    Twenty first century schizoid man

35. Mike Boon 35

    31 July 2015 at 7:16 pm

    Cameron thanks Key for lenient tax laws with part in new Avatar movie.

36. b waghorn 36

    31 July 2015 at 7:34 pm

    Do I look bald in this light?

37. HumPrac 37

    31 July 2015 at 9:29 pm

    Instead of a caption, I’ll do some song lyrics (based on the crooked thumb in the image)

    Verse 1
    There was a crooked man
    with a crooked little grin,
    He had a crooked shirt
    from a crooked rubbish bin,
    He had a crooked view
    with a crooked little back,
    Lets all get together and give the
    crooked man the sack.
    Verse 2
    He had a crooked “friend”
    with a crooked little smile,
    He had some crooked money
    for a crooked little while,
    They all lived together on a
    crooked little earth
    When all is said and done,
    he had such little worth.
    Verse 3
    There was a crooked day
    when he sold his crooked soul,
    Attaining massive wealth
    was his one and only goal,
    He pushed all others down just to
    put himself on top,
    There surely comes a time when
    all of this must stop.

    Please add your own verse if you can, but make sure it rhymes.

    • mac1 37.1

      31 July 2015 at 10:34 pm

      There’ll come a looked for day
      when we all will well agree
      That we put full and final paid
      to this crooked little spree;
      We all go down to the polling place
      on that day before it’s dark,
      and upon the voting paper
      we place our crooked mark.

      The box for crooked National
      We intentionally leave blank,
      cos to vote for them we still get all
      the same collective wank;
      our crooked little tick we place
      in some progressive box,
      and with red or green or pinkish hue
      give blue the crooked pox.

      • HumPrac 37.1.1

        2 August 2015 at 4:00 pm

        Haha, nice one.

      • Ecosse_Maidy 37.1.2

        3 August 2015 at 12:14 pm

        chorus,………..
        Ah ha
        Oh oh don’t let the public know
        Ah ah
        Oh oh don’t let the public know
        Ah ha
        Oh oh don’t let the pubic know..

        Oh yes Johns truths got a hole in it and John will frown.
        Oh yes Johns truths got hole in it to bring him down.

38. G C 38

    31 July 2015 at 9:40 pm

    Anything to Please Gargamel

39. Incognito 39

    31 July 2015 at 10:45 pm

    ACT is not the only party with a holographic leader!

40. Incognito 40

    31 July 2015 at 10:46 pm

    John Key doing an uncanny improvisation of “lying till you’re blue in the face”.

41. Incognito 41

    31 July 2015 at 10:46 pm

    The Hitchhiker to the Galaxy trying to get away from John Key reciting Vogon poetry.

42. Incognito 42

    31 July 2015 at 10:47 pm

    John Key overindulged on Fonterra’s blue cheese.

43. Incognito 43

    31 July 2015 at 10:47 pm

    Reptilians prefer blue light.

44. Incognito 44

    31 July 2015 at 10:48 pm

    Eyes are windows to the Soul.

45. Incognito 45

    31 July 2015 at 10:48 pm

    John Key sees the Invisible Hand for the first time!

46. Jesus Wept 46

    1 August 2015 at 12:16 am

    Dennis Hopper hooks his thumb left and says, “Get the fuck out of my movie”.

47. JAG 47

    1 August 2015 at 10:35 am

    Robert A. Heinlein was right, as John Keys corporate alien puppet-master exposed in blue light of Trans Pacific Partnership Alert-ray beam.

48. Ecoss_Maidy 48

    2 August 2015 at 7:07 pm

    You Muppets,,,I said i wanted to appear in a Blue Movie……!

49. Ecoss_Maidy 49

    2 August 2015 at 7:08 pm

    Keys penis enhancement operation, went a tad awry!

50. Ecoss_Maidy 50

    2 August 2015 at 7:11 pm

    Blue Loon, you saw me standing alone,
    Without a dream in my heart
    Without a love of my own…….

51. Ecoss_Maidy 51

    2 August 2015 at 7:11 pm

    Keys set a very bad example,,after not donning his protective goggles at the sun bed convention

52. Ecoss_Maidy 52

    2 August 2015 at 7:12 pm

    Take 34, Phewww, Lets try again John? Rock, Paper, Scissors???? Come on John…u must have a clue?

53. Ecoss_Maidy 53

    2 August 2015 at 7:17 pm

    Flunkey offers privilege of rank to Keys…..Suck on My Thumb John……not your own!!!

54. Ecoss_Maidy 54

    2 August 2015 at 7:17 pm

    Speak to the thumb John!!!!!!!

55. Ecoss_Maidy 55

    2 August 2015 at 7:23 pm

    Only a few more minutes to go John…..Keep holding!!!!……..1001 1002 1003………….keep holding 1004 1005 1006 1007……………..

56. Ecoss_Maidy 56

    2 August 2015 at 7:23 pm

    John relieves himself at new human Urinal and get the auto thumbs up to shake…

57. Ecoss_Maidy 57

    2 August 2015 at 7:29 pm

    Noooooo it isn’t a book or a film of a play…..its you!…the thumb’s a dickhead.

58. Ecoss_Maidy 58

    2 August 2015 at 7:31 pm

    RhapCatasophy In Blue

59. Ecoss_Maidy 59

    2 August 2015 at 7:34 pm

    NZ PM, first to get Fired on The PM’s of the World Apprentice..show

60. Ecoss_Maidy 60

    2 August 2015 at 7:38 pm

    Right John….if i add one thumb to one thumb and i take away one thumb what am i left with?

    Now think!

61. Ecoss_Maidy 61

    2 August 2015 at 7:52 pm

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