Hahahaha, I think his/its thumb would look the same as a builders thumb, except not from being hit by a hammer, but rather from being sucked his/its whole life.
I mean, he really is a SUCKer who is not growing up.
As a Labour party member I see this as lame/petty and probably functions to turn away people from the Labour party. The party still needs to figure out what went so wrong in 2014 and shit like this ain’t going to help. Childish (sorry to children) and lame lame lame. Grow up, look inside the party and figure it out. Stop with this externalizing shit.
[This is not a Labour Party blog, Simon. TRP]
Are you envisaging something along these lines, Simon ?
Scenario One
NZ Labour Party Council member 1: “We need to figure out what went so wrong in 2014 and fast !!!”
NZ Labour Party Council member 2: “Believe me, we’re trying to but a relatively obscure Caption Contest on THE STANDARD blogsite is making it all but impossible !!!”
Scenario Two
Ordinary Punter: “I feel like it’s time to join the Labour Party and get active. I’ve had it up to here with this friggin government.”
Ordinary Punter’s Spouse: “Whoa there !!!, You do realise a Left-leaning Blog has recently posted a relatively obscure Caption Competition illustrated by a photo of John Key bathed in fluorescent blue light ?”
Ordinary Punter: “Awwww, for the love of God !!! They just blew it BIG TIME !!! I’m voting National.”
NZ Labour Party Council Member 1: I wonder why blue collar workers, students, teachers etc. are voting National?
NZ Labour Party Council Member 2: I’m not sure, but what I do know is that it has nothing to do with the widely held perception that we are a dysfunctional party, and the belief that a dysfunctional party will be disastrous for the country.
NZ Labour Party Council Member 3: I agree, the public understands that a collection of career politicians is exactly what the country needs. I mean, just look at the traction that Jacinda Ardern has made on the child poverty issue in the last 7 years. At this rate, it will only be a few decades before the government may be pushed to DEFINE poverty…imagine that.
Ordinary Punter: Nothing like seeing long time Labour party members posting links on twitter to childish caption competitions for the PM. Not at all congruent with the perception that the Labour party is a college of self interested sycophants who seem totally unable to get their collective heads out of their collective asses and do what needs to be done to make the party relevant again.
I find it amusing when people use the word “look” in their sentences. It happens when people are trying to assert a false sense of authority into their words.
I giggle to myself, knowing that the person using it in sentences, is insecure about themselves, so hide that insecurity by ensuring to inject false authority into their speech.
Once again, I just laugh to myself when I hear it.
Instead of a caption, I’ll do some song lyrics (based on the crooked thumb in the image)
Verse 1
There was a crooked man
with a crooked little grin,
He had a crooked shirt
from a crooked rubbish bin,
He had a crooked view
with a crooked little back,
Lets all get together and give the
crooked man the sack.
Verse 2
He had a crooked “friend”
with a crooked little smile,
He had some crooked money
for a crooked little while,
They all lived together on a
crooked little earth
When all is said and done,
he had such little worth.
Verse 3
There was a crooked day
when he sold his crooked soul,
Attaining massive wealth
was his one and only goal,
He pushed all others down just to
put himself on top,
There surely comes a time when
all of this must stop.
Please add your own verse if you can, but make sure it rhymes.
There’ll come a looked for day
when we all will well agree
That we put full and final paid
to this crooked little spree;
We all go down to the polling place
on that day before it’s dark,
and upon the voting paper
we place our crooked mark.
The box for crooked National
We intentionally leave blank,
cos to vote for them we still get all
the same collective wank;
our crooked little tick we place
in some progressive box,
and with red or green or pinkish hue
give blue the crooked pox.
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The Spinoff is covering local elections across the country with a new pop-up section. To kick things off, Hayden Donnell went to a mayoral debate at Grey Power on the North Shore of Auckland.John Tamihere walked into the mayoral debate at North Shore Grey Power on Friday just minutes after ...
Things I Learned at Art School is a new series featuring artists discussing how they do what they do and know what they know. In the second instalment, Megan Dunn talks to Berlin-based New Zealander Simon Denny about Michael Parekowhai, teaching and technology, and an idea involving the online shoe ...
With the acquisition of global rugby streaming leader RugbyPass, Sky might have just secured its future, writes Trevor McKewen.For several months now, the war between Sky and Spark Sport for the peerless prize of All Blacks and New Zealand rugby rights from 2021 onwards has been escalating. Every week, one ...
The Lightbulb asks innovators and entrepreneurs how they turned their ideas into reality. This week we talk to Jamie Cashmore, co-founder of Auckland-based edible packaging company Twiice. First of all, give us your elevator pitch for Twiice.Twiice is a company making edible coffee cups with plans to progress into other areas ...
The recent discovery of a fossil parrot the size of a human toddler is even more reason for Foulden Maar to be protected, writes the chairperson of Save Foulden Maar, Kimberley Collins.Last week, scientists discovered a new species of extinct parrot in the St Bathans Fauna. Weighing in at seven ...
Could a new hybrid of all the government’s major media holdings solve multiple media and government problems? Duncan Greive assesses the case.The media industry, despite what some of us might like to believe, really doesn’t matter all that much economically. Doesn’t employ all that many people. Relatively low wage. ...
The three governing parties are turning their attention to next year’s general election. RNZ‘s Jo Moir surveys the field.The night New Zealand First formed a government with Labour and the Greens, its leader Winston Peters quoted the song “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”.Almost two years later all three ...
Analysis: The botched census brings down a chief executive, there's another wave of speculation about Christopher Luxon standing for National and NZ First could sink an attempt to reverse the ban on prisoner voting. ...
Pacific Media Centre Newsdesk Wording has played a crucial role in a reportedly “fierce” Pacific Islands Forum in Tuvalu with Australia allegedly managing to alter documental terms to downplay its commitment to climate change mitigation. According to RNZ Pacific, a communiqué and separate statement on climate change was released ...
Australia’s coal policy and its use of carry over credits to fulfill its obligations under the Paris Agreement have come under fire and been major points of contention at this year’s 50th Pacific Islands Forum (PIF) Meeting in Funafuti, Tuvalu. READ MORE: ‘We should have done more for our ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michael O’Keefe, Head of Department, Politics and Philosophy, La Trobe University The Pacific Islands Forum meeting in Tuvalu this week has ended in open division over climate change. Australia ensured its official communique watered down commitments to respond to climate change, gaining ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Xanthe Mallett, Forensic Criminologist, University of Newcastle Even in death, the voice of Carl Williams is louder than that of his victims. Intimate prison letters written by the convicted murderer and drug trafficker to his ex-wife, Roberta – herself arrested this month ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Brianna Chesser, Senior Lecturer in Criminology and Justice, RMIT University In September 2018, a prominent Melbourne surgeon and academic was charged with rape and sexual assault for alleged offences committed a year earlier against a male doctor. The surgeon and doctor had ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By John Dearnaley, Associate Professor, University of Southern Queensland The blotched butterfly orchid (Sarcochilus weinthalii) looks fairly unremarkable when it’s not flowering, generally resembling the far more common orange blossom orchid. But when it flowers, it is exquisite. Dark purple blotches stand out ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Simon Cropper, Senior Lecturer, Melbourne School of Psychological Sciences, University of Melbourne Almost every person throughout the existence of humankind has looked up at the night sky and seen more than just a random scattering of light. Constellations of stars have helped ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Ben Desbrow, Associate Professor, Nutrition and Dietetics, Griffith University A recent study published in the journal Depression and Anxiety has attracted widespread media attention. Media reports said eating chocolate, in particular, dark chocolate, was linked to reduced symptoms of depression. Unfortunately, we ...
He’s the artist who launched a million memes and over a billion streams. Sam Brooks picks out Bazzi’s best moments so far, from his career-making breakthrough to his mature new mixtape Soulsearching.1. ‘Mine’“You’re so fuckin’ precious when you smile.”It’s the line that didn’t just launch a million memes, it’s the ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Mark Crosby, Professor, Monash University Since President Trump tweeted about imposing new tariffs on China, global equity markets have gone into a tailspin. Trump’s more recent announcement that the new tariffs would be delayed has not calmed the markets, with recent days ...
A new poem by Waikato poet Loren Thomas.to convince myself we’re dreamingwe were walking through suburbia houses kissing front lawns copied one after anotheryou tasted like mint leaves and chlorophyll that’s been pissed on by catsI held your hand and we walked towards the ocean dodging planks from dead train ...
The ancient Australian shock-jock yesterday targeted Jacinda Ardern, urging Australia’s PM to ‘shove a sock down her throat’. It’s all in keeping with a substantial history of being an arse.The plucky nation of Australia excels in a range of endeavours, but nowhere more than the angry, anguished howls of bloated, ...
Today, TVNZ released its latest findings on who is watching what on TVNZ OnDemand. Sam Brooks analyses the results.Today, TVNZ released the 2019 figures for who is watching TVNZ OnDemand, what they’re watching and in what kind of numbers. The big numbers are hopeful – over 1.4 million people reached ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Jock Collins, Professor of Social Economics, UTS Business School, University of Technology Sydney The federal government wants to boost the number of migrants moving to regional areas in Australia to fill job vacancies and reduce the pressure on our cities. That’s why ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Anastasia Powell, Associate Professor, Criminology and Justice Studies, RMIT University There can be no doubt violence against women is a national crisis. On average in Australia, one woman every week is killed. A 2016 survey found one in four women experienced violence ...
One dignified resignation was a bouquet in a sea of brickbats this week as low levels of accountability had eyes rolling. James Elliott has the news of the week. ...
Sleater-Kinney’s Carrie Brownstein on the band’s ninth studio album, working with St Vincent, and the departure of bandmate and drummer, Janet Weiss.It’s been almost five years since Sleater-Kinney broke their decade-long hiatus with an album that received almost near-universal praise. It was “raw”, “bristling”, “emotive”, “taut” – all adjectives you’d ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Colleen Murrell, Associate Professor, Journalism, Swinburne University of Technology When news of the stabbings in Sydney on Tuesday afternoon came through, one of the first tweets about the incident came from Sky News reporter Laura Jayes. Immediately it got retweeted and sent ...
The only published and available best-selling indie book chart in New Zealand is the top 10 sales list recorded every week at Unity Books’ stores in High St, Auckland, and Willis St, Wellington.AUCKLAND1 Normal People by Sally Rooney (Faber & Faber, $23)Sally Rooney Sally Rooney Sally Rooney Sally Rooney2 An ...
When Emily Writes reviewed a life-changing sex toy, the response from orgasm-starved women was huge. So why are so many having so few orgasms, and what can be done?For the last two years I’ve been running a pretty small – about 600-odd member – group for mostly New Zealand women ...
When Josie Adams broke her laptop last week, she knew she’d never find love like that again. Can the Asus Chromebook Flip C213SA offer a new kind of technological relationship? She reviews how it stands up to everyday use and the cosmic forces that seek to destroy her.Last Thursday I ...
Wine should be fun, not intimidating, all you need is a little knowledge. Yvonne Lorkin co-founder and chief tasting officer of WineFriend provides some simple tips to help you empower your palate. Even I can get scared by wine. I’m usually super-meek and a tad feeble at high-brow, ‘industry’ wine tastings. ...
Pacific Media Watch NewsdeskBy Makereta Komai in Funafuti, Tuvalu Tonga’s Prime Minister, ‘Akilisi Pohiva, has delivered a stinging attack against regionalism and the Pacific Islands Forum’s stance of leaving no one behind, for failing to amicably resolve the issue of West Papua. Pohiva admitted the issue has divided ...
Editor’s Note: Here below is a list of the main issues currently under discussion in New Zealand and links to media coverage.New Zealand Parliament Buildings, Wellington, New Zealand.Today’s content by Dr Bryce Edwards.Corrections, Christchurch mosque shootings Chris Trotter (Daily Blog): Upholding The Accused’s Right To Write Mark Daalder ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Amber Marshall, Research fellow, Queensland University of Technology Farming families and communities in Queensland’s remote north are being left behind by the digital economy, putting them at significant social and economic disadvantage. Our report, launched in Cairns today, details the impacts of ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Adrian Cameron, Associate professor, and Associate Director of the Global Obesity Centre, Deakin University Half-price chips, “two for one” chocolates, “buy one get one free” soft drinks: Australian supermarkets make it very easy for us to fill our trolleys with junk food. ...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Richard Trethowan, Director, IA Watson Research Centre, Narrabri Plant Breeding Institute, University of Sydney A UN report released last week found a quarter of the world’s carbon emissions come from the food chain, particularly meat farming. This has prompted calls to sharply ...
Caption competition 
Fully Informed? Labour’s 2017 promises raised expectations that were little short of revolutionary. Unfortunately, they were never adequately shaken through the fiscal sieve. The hard economic work was not done – and it shows. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern’s critics have long complained that her grasp of the way the New ...33 mins ago
You cannot expect to pound communities into the ground day after day, year after year, decade after decade and just expect them to take it lying down. There’s a point at which the place will explode. And we’re faced with some very big ructions on both sides of the Atlantic ...2 days ago
Back in May, Destiny Church leaders Brian and Hannah Tamaki launched another political party. Despite consisting entirely of followers of their religion, they grandly called it "Coalition New Zealand", in a vain effort to suggest it was something broader. But when they applied for registration, submitters opposed the name, as ...2 days ago
The following article is excerpted and translated from two articles in recent issues of Lutte de Classe (Class Struggle), the magazine of Lutte Ouvrière (Workers Struggle), the revolutionary workers group active in France. We don’t necessarily agree with everything in it – for instance, the 1956-62 war for independence involved rather more revolutionary forces than ...2 days ago
2 days ago
Going Down? Once truth and propaganda become fused in the minds of one’s followers, debate and discussion become redundant. If one’s opponents are all outrageous liars, then engaging with them in any way is pointless. Rather than waste its time, a political party should, instead, target all its messages at ...2 days ago
This section builds on Part 1 of this series to provide a theoretical basis for the final instalment (part 3 – to come). Self-determination: law or resurgence — or both? International law promotes the principal of equal treatment and self-determination, which includes peoples’ rights to freely pursue their social, cultural and ...3 days ago
We need to fundamentally reframe our systems settings to address the drivers causing and underpinning inequality; structural change in systems especially financial. The Equality Network Hui was held in Wellington on 27 June 2019. The hui covered important topics such as child poverty; a living wage; taxation; public health; mental ...4 days ago
The views-per-page for some of my recent postings:Depressing, isn't it? Provide thoughtful and wise commentary on the mainstream of British politics and no-one notices. Make a passing reference to Tommy DICKHEAD Robinson in a thread title and you get hundreds of views. Write something about anti-Semitism and you get another ...4 days ago
The government has announced plans to move the Treaty of Waitangi and other taonga to a new site. Great news! So where are they going? Right next to the old one:The new plan will see a new 22,000-square-metre archive built on the former site of Defence House - the former ...4 days ago
Back in June, StatsNZ went public about a project to track population data on an hourly level by using people's cellphones. It wasn't as bad as it initially looked - they were receiving no individual data, only counts by suburb - but there was still a huge consent problem, so ...4 days ago
Most economists agree that a currently slowing economy could do with some stimulus – and they would also agree that there is no shortage of infrastructure projects which could be brought to productive fruition with help from that stimulus. In view of the current practice of sub-contracting economic policy decisions ...4 days ago
I did an interview on the TVNZ Breakfast Show about the situation in Hong Kong. I tried to frame the issue as a collective action problem between two sides with very different end games. The video is here. Because of time constraints we could not discuss the fact that the ...4 days ago
Image Credit: Wild Rose College A new study reporting the ranges of values for kidney and liver parameters in a healthy population is being actively misrepresented by anti-fluoride campaigners. The Fluoride Action Network’s (FAN) latest ... 4 days ago
Alone, Alone. All, All Alone: Will it be a good or a bad thing, when humanity’s bright blue spacecraft is stricken by the civilisation-destroying problem of Climate Change, that no Huston Control will be standing-by to rescue the crew?“WE HAVE A PROBLEM, HUSTON.” These were the words used by the ...5 days ago
Divided Loyalties: Can the Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, be relied upon? That’s what the boys and girls at Foggy Bottom and the Pentagon needed to be reassured about. Because, from the perspective of Washington, it’s looking more and more like Jacinda Ardern and her Labour Party comrades are getting ready ...6 days ago
This handy Queer Theory Glossary is from thetranswidow.com In case you’ve had trouble keeping up with the spate of new queer theory terms, here’s a handy glossary for your reference. Queer – A straight person with an interesting haircut. Non-binary/genderqueer – A chubby young female, typically 16-28, who has ...7 days ago
The winter grazing issue is becoming a highly sensitised one that I hope will not become so politicised that it delays solutions and results in the suicides of some very stressed farmers.Winter grazing has hit the headlines after a determined campaign, including the release of a video of some very ...1 week ago
The Green Part has been accused of lack of transparency in two recent situations. The first was the claimed media lockdown during Green's annual conference and the second was Julie Ann Genter's refusal to release a letter she had sent to Phil Twyford.I do get frustrated when journalist's succumb to ...2 weeks ago
Blowing-Up The House: Is Winston Peters planning to put himself at the head of all those New Zealanders who refuse to countenance the Coalition Government caving-in to the Ihumatao protesters? The most effective way of doing this would be to issue Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern with an ultimatum. If she ...2 weeks ago
A Cult, that many actors, politicians, and those with a low IQ are joining is sweeping across civilisation, with one main intention – ending humans reign on Earth. Starting as a well meaning though deeply flawed theory, that the Earth was warming due to mankind emitting greenhouse gasses, it was ...2 weeks ago
There is a military phrase: “Full spectrum dominance”. It refers to the all-encompassing policy to dominate across all spheres of war. Lately, that has come to include the internet – in other words, cyberwarfare initiatives. That is in addition to land, sea, air and the like. Now, if ...2 weeks ago
The IMF issued a Report on the state of the Economy as it is at present. Some of it points out significant issues that certainly warrant attention, but that we know already exist. Some of it is very much tied to the very obvious context of global concerns, that everyone ...2 weeks ago
I'm glad to see the Lib Dems won.I had a moment of terror yesterday thinking that the Conservatives might cling on, due to a combination of Johnson's elevation to the premiership, the apparent uselessness of the Lib Dem candidate (who had failed to be elected in other constituencies) and the ...2 weeks ago
. . Current Leader of the National Party, Simon Bridges gave the usual rah-rah speech to the Loyal & Faithful in Christchurch today (27 July). With National’s party polling and his own personal popularity sliding steadily in the polls, Mr Bridges has not much left to reverse his fortunes. ...2 weeks ago
Those concerned for Langridge’s wellbeing say they hope he’ll change his mind when he sees the ocean coming. The protester who has vowed to stand outside Parliament every day until the Government announces a climate emergency says he accepts that his quest will most likely end in drowning. Ollie Langridge, ...2 weeks ago
Image Credit: How To Start a Blog – Beginner’s Guide for 2019 I notice a few regulars no longer allow public access to the site counters. This may happen accidentally when the blog format is altered. ... 2 weeks ago
Opportunities to dodge tax are shrinking with the completion of a new tax agreement with Switzerland, Revenue Minister Stuart Nash announced today. Mr Nash and the Swiss Ambassador David Vogelsanger have today signed documents to update the double tax agreement (DTA). The previous DTA was signed in 1980. “Double tax ...1 week ago
The Government’s proposed rescue plan must be strengthened because it is the last chance to save Māui dolphins from extinction and secure the future for Hector’s dolphins, Forest & Bird says. ...40 mins ago
Good on their own, even better with cheese – these crisp, moreish crackers are destined to become your new go-to savoury snack.These crackers have been on high rotation in our household – they’ve filled lunchboxes, accompanied fine cheeses on evening platters and been eaten by the fistful straight from the jar. ...2 hours ago
Over 300 hours of interviews condensed into five episodes that cover the entirety of New Zealand’s comedy history – how do you even start to approach that? Sam Brooks interviews Paul Horan, the documentarian behind the show.It’s one of those projects that sounds utterly futile – how does one cover ...6 hours ago
Judgement prevents understanding, which in itself is a barrier to preventing unsafe behaviour. Are different approaches to harm reduction in the Rainbow community needed? Sex. Drugs. Carly Rae Jepsen. This is the iconography that tends to be massaged into mainstream conceptions of gay culture. Depictions in TV/film see us railing lines ...6 hours ago
The Spinoff is covering local elections across the country with a new pop-up section. To kick things off, Hayden Donnell went to a mayoral debate at Grey Power on the North Shore of Auckland.John Tamihere walked into the mayoral debate at North Shore Grey Power on Friday just minutes after ...19 hours ago
The Spinoff is covering local elections across the country with a new pop-up section. To kick things off, Hayden Donnell went to a mayoral debate at Grey Power on the North Shore of Auckland.John Tamihere walked into the mayoral debate at North Shore Grey Power on Friday just minutes after ...19 hours ago
The three parties in the coalition have to negotiate compromises, concessions and conquests week after week. ...1 day ago
Things I Learned at Art School is a new series featuring artists discussing how they do what they do and know what they know. In the second instalment, Megan Dunn talks to Berlin-based New Zealander Simon Denny about Michael Parekowhai, teaching and technology, and an idea involving the online shoe ...1 day ago
With the acquisition of global rugby streaming leader RugbyPass, Sky might have just secured its future, writes Trevor McKewen.For several months now, the war between Sky and Spark Sport for the peerless prize of All Blacks and New Zealand rugby rights from 2021 onwards has been escalating. Every week, one ...1 day ago
Today, a short story from the late 1920s, published in a posthumous new collection by Marlborough writer Eileen Duggan. Photo by Peter Black. ...1 day ago
The Lightbulb asks innovators and entrepreneurs how they turned their ideas into reality. This week we talk to Jamie Cashmore, co-founder of Auckland-based edible packaging company Twiice. First of all, give us your elevator pitch for Twiice.Twiice is a company making edible coffee cups with plans to progress into other areas ...1 day ago
Black Fern Aleisha-Pearl Nelson was told by doctors, twice, that her rugby days were over - after serious horse-riding accidents. ...1 day ago
The recent discovery of a fossil parrot the size of a human toddler is even more reason for Foulden Maar to be protected, writes the chairperson of Save Foulden Maar, Kimberley Collins.Last week, scientists discovered a new species of extinct parrot in the St Bathans Fauna. Weighing in at seven ...1 day ago
The three governing parties are turning their attention to next year’s general election. RNZ‘s Jo Moir surveys the field.The night New Zealand First formed a government with Labour and the Greens, its leader Winston Peters quoted the song “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”.Almost two years later all three ...1 day ago
Protests in Hong Kong have attracted worldwide attention - but are we ignoring a more serious situation across the sea? ...2 days ago
Analysis: The botched census brings down a chief executive, there's another wave of speculation about Christopher Luxon standing for National and NZ First could sink an attempt to reverse the ban on prisoner voting. ...2 days ago
Pacific Media Centre Newsdesk Wording has played a crucial role in a reportedly “fierce” Pacific Islands Forum in Tuvalu with Australia allegedly managing to alter documental terms to downplay its commitment to climate change mitigation. According to RNZ Pacific, a communiqué and separate statement on climate change was released ...2 days ago
Australia’s coal policy and its use of carry over credits to fulfill its obligations under the Paris Agreement have come under fire and been major points of contention at this year’s 50th Pacific Islands Forum (PIF) Meeting in Funafuti, Tuvalu. READ MORE: ‘We should have done more for our ...2 days ago
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michael O’Keefe, Head of Department, Politics and Philosophy, La Trobe University The Pacific Islands Forum meeting in Tuvalu this week has ended in open division over climate change. Australia ensured its official communique watered down commitments to respond to climate change, gaining ...2 days ago
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Xanthe Mallett, Forensic Criminologist, University of Newcastle Even in death, the voice of Carl Williams is louder than that of his victims. Intimate prison letters written by the convicted murderer and drug trafficker to his ex-wife, Roberta – herself arrested this month ...2 days ago
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Brianna Chesser, Senior Lecturer in Criminology and Justice, RMIT University In September 2018, a prominent Melbourne surgeon and academic was charged with rape and sexual assault for alleged offences committed a year earlier against a male doctor. The surgeon and doctor had ...2 days ago
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By John Dearnaley, Associate Professor, University of Southern Queensland The blotched butterfly orchid (Sarcochilus weinthalii) looks fairly unremarkable when it’s not flowering, generally resembling the far more common orange blossom orchid. But when it flowers, it is exquisite. Dark purple blotches stand out ...2 days ago
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Simon Cropper, Senior Lecturer, Melbourne School of Psychological Sciences, University of Melbourne Almost every person throughout the existence of humankind has looked up at the night sky and seen more than just a random scattering of light. Constellations of stars have helped ...2 days ago
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Ben Desbrow, Associate Professor, Nutrition and Dietetics, Griffith University A recent study published in the journal Depression and Anxiety has attracted widespread media attention. Media reports said eating chocolate, in particular, dark chocolate, was linked to reduced symptoms of depression. Unfortunately, we ...2 days ago
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Mark Crosby, Professor, Monash University Since President Trump tweeted about imposing new tariffs on China, global equity markets have gone into a tailspin. Trump’s more recent announcement that the new tariffs would be delayed has not calmed the markets, with recent days ...2 days ago
Today, TVNZ released its latest findings on who is watching what on TVNZ OnDemand. Sam Brooks analyses the results.Today, TVNZ released the 2019 figures for who is watching TVNZ OnDemand, what they’re watching and in what kind of numbers. The big numbers are hopeful – over 1.4 million people reached ...2 days ago
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Jock Collins, Professor of Social Economics, UTS Business School, University of Technology Sydney The federal government wants to boost the number of migrants moving to regional areas in Australia to fill job vacancies and reduce the pressure on our cities. That’s why ...2 days ago
One dignified resignation was a bouquet in a sea of brickbats this week as low levels of accountability had eyes rolling. James Elliott has the news of the week. ...2 days ago
Corrections has referred a letter written by the alleged Christchurch terrorist to police for further investigation. ...2 days ago
Sky Television is purchasing online rugby streaming service RugbyPass for $US40 million ($NZ62m). ...2 days ago
Jewellery retailer Michael Hill International has reported a lift in profit but is feeling the pinch of lower sales and squeezed margins. ...2 days ago
Sleater-Kinney’s Carrie Brownstein on the band’s ninth studio album, working with St Vincent, and the departure of bandmate and drummer, Janet Weiss.It’s been almost five years since Sleater-Kinney broke their decade-long hiatus with an album that received almost near-universal praise. It was “raw”, “bristling”, “emotive”, “taut” – all adjectives you’d ...2 days ago
When Emily Writes reviewed a life-changing sex toy, the response from orgasm-starved women was huge. So why are so many having so few orgasms, and what can be done?For the last two years I’ve been running a pretty small – about 600-odd member – group for mostly New Zealand women ...2 days ago
Wine should be fun, not intimidating, all you need is a little knowledge. Yvonne Lorkin co-founder and chief tasting officer of WineFriend provides some simple tips to help you empower your palate. Even I can get scared by wine. I’m usually super-meek and a tad feeble at high-brow, ‘industry’ wine tastings. ...2 days ago
Pacific Media Watch Newsdesk By Makereta Komai in Funafuti, Tuvalu Tonga’s Prime Minister, ‘Akilisi Pohiva, has delivered a stinging attack against regionalism and the Pacific Islands Forum’s stance of leaving no one behind, for failing to amicably resolve the issue of West Papua. Pohiva admitted the issue has divided ...2 days ago
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Amber Marshall, Research fellow, Queensland University of Technology Farming families and communities in Queensland’s remote north are being left behind by the digital economy, putting them at significant social and economic disadvantage. Our report, launched in Cairns today, details the impacts of ...2 days ago
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Adrian Cameron, Associate professor, and Associate Director of the Global Obesity Centre, Deakin University Half-price chips, “two for one” chocolates, “buy one get one free” soft drinks: Australian supermarkets make it very easy for us to fill our trolleys with junk food. ...2 days ago
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Richard Trethowan, Director, IA Watson Research Centre, Narrabri Plant Breeding Institute, University of Sydney A UN report released last week found a quarter of the world’s carbon emissions come from the food chain, particularly meat farming. This has prompted calls to sharply ...2 days ago
jeepers John, but the label said there might be a blue tinge from those pills ….
“It’s a recessive gene trait, John, called hitchhiker’s thumb; you’ll be needing it in 2017.”
They said that in 2008, and 2011, and 2014 …. its getting old.
Remember though, James, that this is Simon Bridges saying it…….. 🙂
The other Smurfs preferred not to talk about Evil Smurf with strangers.
New Zealand Prime Minister John Key tries Colloidal silver in a bid to reverse his near-terminal rampant narcissism.
You may like the following book very much…
http://manipulism.com/
or
You have the choice of paperback, ebook, or audio-book.
Enjoy.
Beam me up E.T I’m all done here with exterminating the human race!
“So John you know how it goes… the temptation was too much…so I just grabbed her ponytail and just cut it like this.’
“Oh nice…not only are you a great pollster David but your very creepy too.. I like your style.”
Key laughs off a real builder’s thumb with “mine looks a lot worse than that!”
Hahahaha, I think his/its thumb would look the same as a builders thumb, except not from being hit by a hammer, but rather from being sucked his/its whole life.
I mean, he really is a SUCKer who is not growing up.
“Willy Wonka’s? Never heard of the place!”
JK preparing for new role in Las Vegas
But Blue Man Group believe in climate change …
John Key demonstrates his firefly GE patch.
Admits that Bronwyn may problems sleeping, but says that he is relaxed about that.
Prime Minister stuck inside Novopay system in real life TRON thriller.
Its the worse case of “Blue Balls” they had ever seen.
Better to have the Blues than be green with envy.
As a Labour party member I see this as lame/petty and probably functions to turn away people from the Labour party. The party still needs to figure out what went so wrong in 2014 and shit like this ain’t going to help. Childish (sorry to children) and lame lame lame. Grow up, look inside the party and figure it out. Stop with this externalizing shit.
[This is not a Labour Party blog, Simon. TRP]
Are you envisaging something along these lines, Simon ?
Scenario One
NZ Labour Party Council member 1: “We need to figure out what went so wrong in 2014 and fast !!!”
NZ Labour Party Council member 2: “Believe me, we’re trying to but a relatively obscure Caption Contest on THE STANDARD blogsite is making it all but impossible !!!”
Scenario Two
Ordinary Punter: “I feel like it’s time to join the Labour Party and get active. I’ve had it up to here with this friggin government.”
Ordinary Punter’s Spouse: “Whoa there !!!, You do realise a Left-leaning Blog has recently posted a relatively obscure Caption Competition illustrated by a photo of John Key bathed in fluorescent blue light ?”
Ordinary Punter: “Awwww, for the love of God !!! They just blew it BIG TIME !!! I’m voting National.”
NZ Labour Party Council Member 1: I wonder why blue collar workers, students, teachers etc. are voting National?
NZ Labour Party Council Member 2: I’m not sure, but what I do know is that it has nothing to do with the widely held perception that we are a dysfunctional party, and the belief that a dysfunctional party will be disastrous for the country.
NZ Labour Party Council Member 3: I agree, the public understands that a collection of career politicians is exactly what the country needs. I mean, just look at the traction that Jacinda Ardern has made on the child poverty issue in the last 7 years. At this rate, it will only be a few decades before the government may be pushed to DEFINE poverty…imagine that.
Ordinary Punter: Nothing like seeing long time Labour party members posting links on twitter to childish caption competitions for the PM. Not at all congruent with the perception that the Labour party is a college of self interested sycophants who seem totally unable to get their collective heads out of their collective asses and do what needs to be done to make the party relevant again.
PM or Blue Waffle
I want you to roll John Beaurgarde into the boat and take him along to the Juicing Room at once. ‘Kay?
PM eyes up thumb now that ponytail out of bounds.
+1 vote for this
Good TPPA deal? John Key Blue it
+ 100% – best caption yet, R@DS
John Key denies taking the money even though the dye pack discharge was sort of obvious.
Smurfin’ USSA
“I have worn the National Ring of Power on for so long now…”
I’m bluer than blue…..
http://www.metrolyrics.com/bluer-than-blue-lyrics-barry-manilow.html
man takes love of Avatar to absurd lengths with permanent full body paintjob – when asked he said, “Nahfin to she hay mate”.
‘The Blue Man, also known as Eternal Evil, is a 1985 Canadian film directed by George Mihalka.’
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BinWA0EenDY
Ear worm
Look, at the end of the day, there wont be any side effects from the TPPA to worry about, I’m very comfortable with that.
Buy the way, luvin that fully erect thumb mate…
I find it amusing when people use the word “look” in their sentences. It happens when people are trying to assert a false sense of authority into their words.
I giggle to myself, knowing that the person using it in sentences, is insecure about themselves, so hide that insecurity by ensuring to inject false authority into their speech.
Once again, I just laugh to myself when I hear it.
Navi expelled from the tribe for deviance have their hair cut off, and can no longer form Tsaheylu.
I’m fine if I sit on a rock in the sun every morning for a hour or so…..
King Kull is here to see me? No, I’m not nervous in the least…
Wanker meets muppet
There’s no global warming, honest, look
Breaking news: Smurfs acquire rights to Nightmare on Elm Street franchise.
http://smurfs.wikia.com/wiki/Greedy_Smurf
http://smurfs.wikia.com/wiki/Clumsy_Smurf
“Whatever. We kiwis only take yeah, nah, maybe for an answer” – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2uCNd1AVJo
Or
“In the Court of the Blue King” – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnQATA2jPXY
Cat’s foot iron claw
Neuro-surgeons scream for more
At paranoia’s poison door.
Twenty first century schizoid man.
Blood rack barbed wire
Politicians’ funeral pyre
Innocents raped with napalm fire
Twenty first century schizoid man.
Death seed blind man’s greed
Poets’ starving children bleed
Nothing he’s got he really needs
Twenty first century schizoid man
Cameron thanks Key for lenient tax laws with part in new Avatar movie.
Do I look bald in this light?
Instead of a caption, I’ll do some song lyrics (based on the crooked thumb in the image)
Verse 1
There was a crooked man
with a crooked little grin,
He had a crooked shirt
from a crooked rubbish bin,
He had a crooked view
with a crooked little back,
Lets all get together and give the
crooked man the sack.
Verse 2
He had a crooked “friend”
with a crooked little smile,
He had some crooked money
for a crooked little while,
They all lived together on a
crooked little earth
When all is said and done,
he had such little worth.
Verse 3
There was a crooked day
when he sold his crooked soul,
Attaining massive wealth
was his one and only goal,
He pushed all others down just to
put himself on top,
There surely comes a time when
all of this must stop.
Please add your own verse if you can, but make sure it rhymes.
There’ll come a looked for day
when we all will well agree
That we put full and final paid
to this crooked little spree;
We all go down to the polling place
on that day before it’s dark,
and upon the voting paper
we place our crooked mark.
The box for crooked National
We intentionally leave blank,
cos to vote for them we still get all
the same collective wank;
our crooked little tick we place
in some progressive box,
and with red or green or pinkish hue
give blue the crooked pox.
Haha, nice one.
chorus,………..
Ah ha
Oh oh don’t let the public know
Ah ah
Oh oh don’t let the public know
Ah ha
Oh oh don’t let the pubic know..
Oh yes Johns truths got a hole in it and John will frown.
Oh yes Johns truths got hole in it to bring him down.
Anything to Please Gargamel
ACT is not the only party with a holographic leader!
John Key doing an uncanny improvisation of “lying till you’re blue in the face”.
The Hitchhiker to the Galaxy trying to get away from John Key reciting Vogon poetry.
John Key overindulged on Fonterra’s blue cheese.
Reptilians prefer blue light.
Eyes are windows to the Soul.
John Key sees the Invisible Hand for the first time!
Dennis Hopper hooks his thumb left and says, “Get the fuck out of my movie”.
Robert A. Heinlein was right, as John Keys corporate alien puppet-master exposed in blue light of Trans Pacific Partnership Alert-ray beam.
You Muppets,,,I said i wanted to appear in a Blue Movie……!
Keys penis enhancement operation, went a tad awry!
Blue Loon, you saw me standing alone,
Without a dream in my heart
Without a love of my own…….
Keys set a very bad example,,after not donning his protective goggles at the sun bed convention
Take 34, Phewww, Lets try again John? Rock, Paper, Scissors???? Come on John…u must have a clue?
Flunkey offers privilege of rank to Keys…..Suck on My Thumb John……not your own!!!
Speak to the thumb John!!!!!!!
Only a few more minutes to go John…..Keep holding!!!!……..1001 1002 1003………….keep holding 1004 1005 1006 1007……………..
John relieves himself at new human Urinal and get the auto thumbs up to shake…
Noooooo it isn’t a book or a film of a play…..its you!…the thumb’s a dickhead.
RhapCatasophy In Blue
NZ PM, first to get Fired on The PM’s of the World Apprentice..show
Right John….if i add one thumb to one thumb and i take away one thumb what am i left with?
Now think!